How to know you're truly old.

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King Author
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How to know you're truly old.

Postby King Author » Sun Dec 08, 2013 12:26 pm UTC

1. When a show comes on TV that you don't like, you yell, "No, thank you!" And change the channel angrily, as if someone was trying to force you to watch that show.

2. You call the toaster oven a "microwave" and get upset when someone tells you you "can't roast a chicken in the microwave."

(Keep it going!)
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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby You, sir, name? » Sun Dec 08, 2013 10:17 pm UTC

3. When you can't understand what young people are saying anymore.

... true story. Happened to me.
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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby Izawwlgood » Sun Dec 08, 2013 10:33 pm UTC

KA, aren't you like 25?
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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby Menacing Spike » Sun Dec 08, 2013 10:42 pm UTC

Only 90s Kids Can Get This

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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby ObsessoMom » Mon Dec 09, 2013 3:59 am UTC

4. When the darling little four-year-old twins who were flower girls at your wedding send you a graduation announcement…because they've both earned PhDs.

Dang, I'm ancient.

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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby Carlington » Mon Dec 09, 2013 6:50 am UTC

I'm not old now, but by the time my youngest sister graduates high school, I'll be 30, which makes me feel old.
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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby King Author » Mon Dec 09, 2013 3:18 pm UTC

Izawwlgood wrote:KA, aren't you like 25?


Yes. The topic wasn't intended to imply that I'm old. This is actually stuff I've noticed my parents have begun doing in the past year or so. My dad, who has called refridgerators "fridges" for the past quarter century, has begun calling them "Frigidaires."
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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby Menacing Spike » Mon Dec 09, 2013 6:25 pm UTC

King Author wrote:
Izawwlgood wrote:KA, aren't you like 25?


Yes. The topic wasn't intended to imply that I'm old. This is actually stuff I've noticed my parents have begun doing in the past year or so. My dad, who has called refridgerators "fridges" for the past quarter century, has begun calling them "Frigidaires."


If you want to outclassy him use "Réfrigérateurs."

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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby Izawwlgood » Mon Dec 09, 2013 6:58 pm UTC

I find it most shows that portray kids, I find the kids to be angsty and snotty and childish.

I also find many of the parties that I see on shows to look wretched. Guh, looks so crowded and gross and loud.
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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby philsov » Mon Dec 09, 2013 7:33 pm UTC

Menacing Spike wrote:Only 90s Kids Can Get This


The clubs/bars have 90's night.

Back In My Day, we had 80's night. AND WE LIKED IT.

Similarly: The music you grew up with is now on the classic rock station :\
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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby Izawwlgood » Mon Dec 09, 2013 7:50 pm UTC

I find hearing Nirvana or Sublime on classic rock to be kind of hilarious, but I do love it.
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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby PolakoVoador » Mon Dec 09, 2013 8:56 pm UTC

Not exactly old, but a sign that you're now an adult: your friends are now having kids. On purpose.

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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby addams » Tue Dec 10, 2013 2:55 am UTC

Any one fifteen years older than you are is Old.
Any one fifteen years younger than you are is Young.

Really Old is looking into The Abyss.
No one older in the world.

That next generation to stumble into Eternity are The Old.
If your parents are living, they are your buffer. Enjoy them, if you can.

I know. I know. If you are not the lead dog, the view never changes.
But; If you like those Old Bastards of thirty-five or forty years old they can be interesting.

They are often better than the view into The Abyss.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby ObsessoMom » Tue Dec 10, 2013 3:37 am UTC

#9 (I think). When you start to get white hairs in places other than your scalp.

I started getting a few white hairs on my head in high school, so I've never found "snow on the roof" particularly alarming; but there are certain places you just don't want Jack Frost to touch without your permission. This year I turned 45 and suddenly I'm noticing tiny icicles in my eyebrows, underarms, nose hairs, pubes...shiver....

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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby addams » Tue Dec 10, 2013 5:09 am UTC

oops. excuse me, children.
This is a misplaced forum game?

I stumbled in, like old people do, and played it wrong.
Stay Calm and Carrion.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby eran_rathan » Tue Dec 10, 2013 4:20 pm UTC

my beard is getting racing stripes (two white bars, either side of my chin).

I keep hoping my hair will go all Reed Richards, but my wife says that's unlikely :(

I figured out today i was looking at colleges 15 years ago.
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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby Sprocket » Tue Dec 24, 2013 6:32 pm UTC

When you say something like "he's only 26, what would you expect?"
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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby addams » Tue Dec 24, 2013 6:36 pm UTC

Or; To wistfully watch people walk by and say,
"ahhh. To be Seventy, again."
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby Djehutynakht » Tue Dec 24, 2013 6:47 pm UTC

addams wrote:Or; To wistfully watch people walk by and say,
"ahhh. To be Seventy, again."


Hypothetically they could believe in reincarnation

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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby addams » Tue Dec 24, 2013 6:50 pm UTC

Djehutynakht wrote:
addams wrote:Or; To wistfully watch people walk by and say,
"ahhh. To be Seventy, again."


Hypothetically they could believe in reincarnation

yes. Or; Something else.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby RollingHead » Sun Jan 12, 2014 9:58 pm UTC

"Vintage 90s _____" on sites like Etsy.

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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby Jplus » Mon Jan 13, 2014 8:55 am UTC

I feel sort of young now, thanks folks. :D
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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby AngrySquirrel » Mon Jan 13, 2014 1:11 pm UTC

10. You talk about your favourite game and the person you're talking to goes "that was made before I was born...".
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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby pkcommando » Mon Jan 13, 2014 3:03 pm UTC

RollingHead wrote:"Vintage 90s _____" on sites like Etsy.

There's a Vintage Market in my area that gets hyped as 'True Vintage'. Ignoring the fact that lots of the items are things like old doorknobs and rusty keys, one of the vendors carries:
-Sega Genesis consoles & games
-NES games
-Digital cameras

The first two made it painful to go in there. The last one made it impossible.
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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby addams » Mon Jan 13, 2014 5:38 pm UTC

Truly Old:
When the Goat at the Local Petting Zoo kicks your Ass.

You might not have felt old when you walked in.
You may have felt old when they carried you out.

Don't fuck with Real Goats.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby loveisdead » Thu Jan 23, 2014 3:55 am UTC

I walk around after work when I'm travelling and seem to be regarded as a business man. That makes me feel old.

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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby Izawwlgood » Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:28 pm UTC

Yeah, 'things you upgraded to being antiques' is funny, and only accelerating.
... with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandalled feet.

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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby lgw » Fri Jan 24, 2014 9:45 pm UTC

philsov wrote:...
Similarly: The music you grew up with is now on the classic rock station :\


Wait till it's on the easy listening station. I've heard (instrumental versions of) songs that were Hëavy Mëtal when I was in school, played on elevator music stations.
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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby chiefin » Mon Jan 27, 2014 6:28 pm UTC

When you realize how old the video game you play is... quake 2 = 16+ years old. ouch.

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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby SecondTalon » Mon Jan 27, 2014 9:00 pm UTC

That only counts if you remember being excited for it's release. I'm lookin' at you, Master of Magic (1994).
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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby oxoiron » Wed Jan 29, 2014 8:46 pm UTC

philsov wrote:The clubs/bars have 90's night.

Back In My Day, we had 80's night. AND WE LIKED IT.
Back in my day we had 80's night every night.

Because it was the goddamn 80's.
SecondTalon wrote:That only counts if you remember being excited for it's release. I'm lookin' at you, Master of Magic (1994).
I was excited for the release of Ultima II (1982) and it didn't disappoint. I still play it on occasion, along with other pre-1985 games.

I know I'm old when people refer to the NES as "Old School" while I've always mentally dismissed it as crap that was made for kids.
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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby Tomlidich the second » Mon Feb 10, 2014 6:57 pm UTC

Popped into urban outfitters to see what it was about cuz i had never been in one. (cool place!)

Promptly found disposable 35 mm cameras marketed as "vintage". erm.

They were common place, even the standard when i was a kid. I am only 21 for christs sake! goodness gracious, I feel old.
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teelo
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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby teelo » Mon Feb 10, 2014 8:05 pm UTC

When you see your join date on the xkcd forums.

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Paul in Saudi
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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby Paul in Saudi » Tue Feb 25, 2014 1:53 am UTC

My bank thanks me for doing business with them for 31 years.

The Playmate of the Month could be my granddaughter.

I live in an older home. It was built in the year I was born.

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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby CorruptUser » Thu Feb 27, 2014 6:21 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:That only counts if you remember being excited for it's release. I'm lookin' at you, Master of Magic (1994).


I only payed that because of the Internet (thank you dosbox!), but man did I play it. Warlord of Life, get Crusade and Altar of Battle, and you get ultra-elite paladins, or just get Torin and kill every last thing that moves. Or just go full sorcery and get hasted flying invisible warships, because fuck you everyone!

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addams
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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby addams » Thu Feb 27, 2014 6:38 pm UTC

pfft. I was born before The Internet.
How do I know I am old?

I swear;
A child looked into my face and said,
"Did they have Shoes, when you were little?"

That was twenty years, ago.
That, Children, is Old.

edit:ahhhh!
Spoiler:
My Mother said, "Twenty years, ago."

I swore I would never say those words.
(fuck) Something is terribly wrong.

It's not wrong to be Old.
It is wrong to live in The Past.

But; Today Sucks!

ech. Today is still Young.
It might turn out ok.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Solublejunk
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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby Solublejunk » Thu Feb 27, 2014 9:17 pm UTC

Being allowed to put antique plates on a car younger than me.

If that's an antique...

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby Tomlidich the second » Thu Feb 27, 2014 11:28 pm UTC

Solublejunk wrote:Being allowed to put antique plates on a car younger than me.

If that's an antique...

does it make you young again if you are gluing them down, and its not your car, nor your plates?
Image

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addams
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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby addams » Fri Feb 28, 2014 10:48 am UTC

Tomlidich the second wrote:
Solublejunk wrote:Being allowed to put antique plates on a car younger than me.

If that's an antique...

does it make you young again if you are gluing them down, and its not your car, nor your plates?

I dont understand the question.

Does it make you young again to take plates off cars that are not your own?
Maybe. It might be worth a Shot. I have tools.
Spoiler:
Back a thousand years ago, when cars were new and I was young,
We did stupid shit, like that.

Stealing a car was too easy Not to do it.
I swear; Some cars did not need an ignition key.

That sort of thing usually stayed inside the Family.
It was a large and unruly Family.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Tomlidich the second
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Re: How to know you're truly old.

Postby Tomlidich the second » Fri Feb 28, 2014 10:35 pm UTC

oh. LICENSE plates. thought you meant these:

Image

Yeah i am not quite old yet.
Image


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