Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

Moderators: Moderators General, Prelates, Magistrates

User avatar
Moo
Oh man! I'm going to be so rebellious! I'm gonna...
Posts: 6315
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2007 3:15 pm UTC
Location: Beyond the goblin city
Contact:

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Moo » Wed Aug 12, 2015 12:18 pm UTC

An illusion of power (although I prefer to think of it as a modicum of power within a closed system) is still enough to give children a sense of agency and power over their own lives, which I think is very important.

I guess I'm just lucky that L is young; he isn't aiming for optimizing my infuriation but for finding out how best to live in his world. He doesn't get to do what he wants for another minute, either. He can choose, or I will choose for him, but something will happen. He is in control of how much of it is on his terms and how much is on mine. For example, at dinner, I serve two veggies, and he has to eat at least one. He has real power in choosing whether to eat one and which one, or both, and how much of his other food to eat. I have created a controlled environment in which he will eat vegetables because they're good for him, but he can move laterally within that environment (because I don't believe having something he doesn't like forced down his throat is good for him either). He has real power, just not very much of it.
Proverbs 9:7-8 wrote:Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. So don't bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you.

User avatar
Zohar
COMMANDER PORN
Posts: 7469
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2007 8:45 pm UTC
Location: Denver

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Zohar » Wed Aug 12, 2015 4:12 pm UTC

Moo wrote:He has real power, just not very much of it.

And with not very much of power, comes not very much of responsibility. Go, spider-toddler! You can't really save the city from dangerous Dr. McBrainFreeze, but please put your toys back in place!
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

User avatar
Zamfir
I built a novelty castle, the irony was lost on some.
Posts: 7291
Joined: Wed Aug 27, 2008 2:43 pm UTC
Location: Nederland

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Zamfir » Wed Aug 12, 2015 6:07 pm UTC

Does it work, the 2 vegetable thing? Does it make him an easier eater?

We just had a 5 year old over, in an obstinate phase. Doing a lot of little things because his parent didn't want them to happen. Especially when eating. The parent took it calmly, but there was no solver bullet reaction...

The little Zamfir had 2 different solid foods today! 2 icecubes of mushed peas and an icecube of carrots. She ate it all with enthusiasm. And tried hard to eat her bib (if that's the right word in English?) And after dinner, a cloth. Hungry like caterpillar
Attachments
IMG_20150811_171101.jpg

User avatar
PictureSarah
Secretary of Penile Nomenclature
Posts: 4576
Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:37 pm UTC
Location: Sacramento, CA
Contact:

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby PictureSarah » Wed Aug 12, 2015 10:26 pm UTC

My little dude is a bit younger than the mooling, but I imagine it works sometimes and other times not. Leo would eat ANYTHING when he was a baby. eggs and salsa, brussels sprouts and mushrooms, Greek yogurt and cranberries, you name it, he wanted it. As he's become a toddler, he's become progressively pickier and more difficult about meal times. Now I have to offer choices or bargain with him to eat things he's not as fond of (if you take a few bites of your eggs, I will give you a few grapes). Pretty sure if he had his way he'd subsist on nothing but milk and berries.
"A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for."

User avatar
eran_rathan
Mostly Wrong
Posts: 1686
Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2010 2:36 pm UTC
Location: in the mirror.

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby eran_rathan » Thu Aug 13, 2015 2:07 pm UTC

The illusion of power and viable choice is totally worth it. Both K and L are kinda picky eaters, K moreso, but we have started having multiple vegetables at dinner so that they get to choose which ones they are eating (and carrot sticks is always an option if they don't like anything on the table).

We've found that they tend to A. eat more veggies and B. there have not been any more temper tantrums about dinner. So win-win.

EDIT TO ADD: regarding the skirt/dress issue, I use: "Well, its too cold out, so you have to wear leggings if you want to wear a dress." Or, "You can wear a dress at home, but outside you need pants to keep your legs safe." or something similar.
"Trying to build a proper foundation for knowledge is blippery."
"Squirrels are crazy enough to be test pilots."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
nɒʜƚɒɿ_nɒɿɘ

User avatar
Whizbang
The Best Reporter
Posts: 2238
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2012 7:50 pm UTC
Location: New Hampshire, USA

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Whizbang » Sat Aug 15, 2015 2:33 am UTC

Time for a pic.

Day at the beach.
Spoiler:
image.jpg


Nothing of consequence to add to the discussion.

No, wait.

Had the "Please and thank you are the magic words" discussion with my oldest, again, on the way to the beach. Seems to be needed every few weeks at least. He was trying to hand a usb wire to my wife. "Take it!" He kept repeating in a demanding tone. "No. Thank you but I don't need a wire," my wife said twice. "Take it! It's bothering my foot!"

So I stopped the car. We chatted. He sulked. I almost turned around, but my wife caved and/or felt meeting with the rest of my family was more important. He fell asleep shortly after and was much better the rest of the day.

User avatar
Artemisia
Posts: 1186
Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2008 4:18 am UTC
Location: The Hague, NL

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Artemisia » Sat Aug 15, 2015 8:12 am UTC

I like this thread. I'm childfree but genuinely interested in how parenting works. @whizbang somehow your description/pics of your eldest made it click how it must be as a parent and what it means to have an actual extra human being added to your life. That's kinda baffling and amazing. I don't know how you guys do it, seriously.

I like the controlled choices you give L Moo, I was never given much choice and my mum consistantly asked questions the wrong way giving the illusion of free choice. I find it difficult to this day to define what I want, at least in part because as a child I wasn't sufficiently taught/given the freedom to do so. Come to think of it, I remember specifically that if I wanted something, I had to be very very conscious/careful not to sound "whiny" if I asked for something, and depending on whether I got the tone right, I'd get either a no or a smack. I have one vivid memory of one time the answer was yes, much to my surprise. (I don't remember what it was but something like a chewing gum ball from a vending machine so it was really simple).

I don't mean to derail the thread so please do continue. I may lurk if that's ok (:
This too shall pass

User avatar
Yablo
Posts: 372
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2012 9:57 am UTC
Location: Juneau, Alaska

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Yablo » Tue Aug 18, 2015 10:18 pm UTC

My son is ten weeks old today! He just had his first shots yesterday, and his crying and screaming were devastating. Fortunately, he put himself to sleep after about ten minutes, and he slept for a couple hours. We got a dosing chart from the doctor, and when he woke up, my wife gave him Tylenol out of a dropper. He was fine after that, but he kept grinning and laughing at everything. It was adorable.
If you like Call of Cthulhu and modern government conspiracy, check out my Delta Green thread.
Please feel free to ask questions or leave comments.

User avatar
eran_rathan
Mostly Wrong
Posts: 1686
Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2010 2:36 pm UTC
Location: in the mirror.

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby eran_rathan » Wed Aug 19, 2015 12:22 pm UTC

It is my older daughters birthday today. I can't believe that it was 9 years ago that she was born after 42 hours of labour.
"Trying to build a proper foundation for knowledge is blippery."
"Squirrels are crazy enough to be test pilots."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
nɒʜƚɒɿ_nɒɿɘ

User avatar
Whizbang
The Best Reporter
Posts: 2238
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2012 7:50 pm UTC
Location: New Hampshire, USA

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Whizbang » Wed Aug 19, 2015 12:28 pm UTC

42? Yeesh. That's brutal.

My wife and I are both very happy that both of our kids were easy labors.

[late edit]
Also, congrats, Yablo. That's fantastic. :)

User avatar
PictureSarah
Secretary of Penile Nomenclature
Posts: 4576
Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:37 pm UTC
Location: Sacramento, CA
Contact:

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby PictureSarah » Wed Aug 19, 2015 4:18 pm UTC

Babies getting shots is the worst (except for babies getting, you know, polio or pertussis or something.) I remember when my little dude got his 2-month shots, he was smiling at the doctor and being very cheerful and personable, and when they stuck the needle in his leg, he had this moment of looking completely shocked before he stuck out his lip and started to cry. And then I started to cry. He just liked everyone and saw no reason not to trust him, and then they hurt him.

My little dude just turned 2 less than a month ago, and his language is building SO FAST. I feel like every few days he has new words of phrases. Last weekend he started "Let me show you, Mama, let me show you" and "Wait just a minute, I'll be right back!" He's also started dramatic/pretend play. Last night at the playground, he "made" me some food (wood chips at the little playground counter) and yelled "Mama! I made a chicken pie and a smoothie! Come on! You just need to take one big bite!"
"A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for."

User avatar
Yablo
Posts: 372
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2012 9:57 am UTC
Location: Juneau, Alaska

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Yablo » Wed Aug 19, 2015 6:56 pm UTC

My niece just turned two a while ago. Her speaking skills aren't great (she only says a few words), but she understands English pretty well, and she's been learning sign language.

She's had two seizures, and her mother has contacted a neurologist. There's only one in our town, and he only comes in once a month. Someone in his office told her that before the doctor will see my niece, he'll need to see two videos of her having seizures. Who the hell is going to film that? Really. That would be the furthest thing from my mind.
If you like Call of Cthulhu and modern government conspiracy, check out my Delta Green thread.
Please feel free to ask questions or leave comments.

User avatar
eran_rathan
Mostly Wrong
Posts: 1686
Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2010 2:36 pm UTC
Location: in the mirror.

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby eran_rathan » Wed Aug 19, 2015 9:22 pm UTC

Yablo wrote:My niece just turned two a while ago. Her speaking skills aren't great (she only says a few words), but she understands English pretty well, and she's been learning sign language.

She's had two seizures, and her mother has contacted a neurologist. There's only one in our town, and he only comes in once a month. Someone in his office told her that before the doctor will see my niece, he'll need to see two videos of her having seizures. Who the hell is going to film that? Really. That would be the furthest thing from my mind.



that is really utterly awful. I wish there was another doctor there, or another one that you could possibly consult. :(
"Trying to build a proper foundation for knowledge is blippery."
"Squirrels are crazy enough to be test pilots."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
nɒʜƚɒɿ_nɒɿɘ

User avatar
Yablo
Posts: 372
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2012 9:57 am UTC
Location: Juneau, Alaska

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Yablo » Wed Aug 19, 2015 11:22 pm UTC

eran_rathan wrote:that is really utterly awful. I wish there was another doctor there, or another one that you could possibly consult. :(

I completely agree. They are moving out of state in a couple weeks though (as noted in my post in the rant thread), so hopefully she'll find one.
If you like Call of Cthulhu and modern government conspiracy, check out my Delta Green thread.
Please feel free to ask questions or leave comments.

User avatar
Whizbang
The Best Reporter
Posts: 2238
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2012 7:50 pm UTC
Location: New Hampshire, USA

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Whizbang » Wed Sep 02, 2015 12:52 am UTC

image.jpg

User avatar
Moo
Oh man! I'm going to be so rebellious! I'm gonna...
Posts: 6315
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2007 3:15 pm UTC
Location: Beyond the goblin city
Contact:

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Moo » Wed Sep 02, 2015 10:25 am UTC

Moo likes this
Proverbs 9:7-8 wrote:Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. So don't bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you.

User avatar
Moo
Oh man! I'm going to be so rebellious! I'm gonna...
Posts: 6315
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2007 3:15 pm UTC
Location: Beyond the goblin city
Contact:

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Moo » Wed Sep 02, 2015 11:17 am UTC

My kiddo and his cousin (whom he has only seen in person once before, about a year ago).
Spoiler:
Image
Proverbs 9:7-8 wrote:Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. So don't bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you.

User avatar
Whizbang
The Best Reporter
Posts: 2238
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2012 7:50 pm UTC
Location: New Hampshire, USA

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Whizbang » Wed Sep 02, 2015 11:43 am UTC

Very cute. Which is yours?

User avatar
Moo
Oh man! I'm going to be so rebellious! I'm gonna...
Posts: 6315
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2007 3:15 pm UTC
Location: Beyond the goblin city
Contact:

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Moo » Wed Sep 02, 2015 12:32 pm UTC

Thank you. The lead singer :)

Have another:
Spoiler:
Image
Proverbs 9:7-8 wrote:Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. So don't bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you.

User avatar
mathmannix
Posts: 1401
Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2012 2:12 pm UTC
Location: Washington, DC

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby mathmannix » Wed Sep 02, 2015 1:06 pm UTC

Zamfir wrote:The little Zamfir had 2 different solid foods today! 2 icecubes of mushed peas and an icecube of carrots. She ate it all with enthusiasm. And tried hard to eat her bib (if that's the right word in English?) And after dinner, a cloth. Hungry like caterpillar

I've never heard of giving babies ice cubes of vegetables. So she just gnaws on frozen vegetables? Do you puree the vegetables and pour them into ice cube trays? Probably good for teething, right? Please elaborate for me!
I hear velociraptor tastes like chicken.

User avatar
Moo
Oh man! I'm going to be so rebellious! I'm gonna...
Posts: 6315
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2007 3:15 pm UTC
Location: Beyond the goblin city
Contact:

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Moo » Wed Sep 02, 2015 1:22 pm UTC

Zamfir wrote:Does it work, the 2 vegetable thing? Does it make him an easier eater?

We just had a 5 year old over, in an obstinate phase. Doing a lot of little things because his parent didn't want them to happen. Especially when eating. The parent took it calmly, but there was no solver bullet reaction...
When I saw your post got quoted, I realised I never answered this; sorry.

It works, in that it is a system we have come up with that I feel comfortable enforcing and he adheres to. It's not a magic bullet either, in that if you do this your child will always eat one of their veggies without complaint. It's a non-negotiable, and he knows this (through trial and error on his part), so now it's just the way it is. But I had to put in the work to put and keep the boundary in place. I like to think though that because it's a fair system, it wasn't as much work as forcing him to eat all his veg or all his food; he accepted it without a huge amount of pushback.

He will still say he's full after eating just the mash, or that he doesn't want vegetables, but when I remind him that he can get up / have more of his favourite / have dessert after he eats one of his veggies, he will. Sometimes with a grumble but he will. I also try to set him up for success though, so one of the veggies will always be something he likes. This means raw carrots about 70% of the time.
Proverbs 9:7-8 wrote:Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. So don't bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you.

User avatar
Sableagle
Ormurinn's Alt
Posts: 1141
Joined: Sat Jun 13, 2015 4:26 pm UTC
Location: The wrong side of the mirror
Contact:

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Sableagle » Fri Sep 04, 2015 6:24 pm UTC

EDIT: someone please delete this post.

eran_rathan wrote:Daughter #2 was ...
She Who Schemeth, judging by that photograph.
Last edited by Sableagle on Sat Sep 05, 2015 3:16 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

User avatar
Whizbang
The Best Reporter
Posts: 2238
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2012 7:50 pm UTC
Location: New Hampshire, USA

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Whizbang » Fri Sep 04, 2015 6:28 pm UTC

whatisthisidonteven

User avatar
Sableagle
Ormurinn's Alt
Posts: 1141
Joined: Sat Jun 13, 2015 4:26 pm UTC
Location: The wrong side of the mirror
Contact:

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Sableagle » Fri Sep 04, 2015 6:49 pm UTC

EDIT: Someone please delete this post.
Last edited by Sableagle on Sat Sep 05, 2015 3:15 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
Oh, Willie McBride, it was all done in vain.

User avatar
Zohar
COMMANDER PORN
Posts: 7469
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2007 8:45 pm UTC
Location: Denver

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Zohar » Fri Sep 04, 2015 7:17 pm UTC

I mean... I'm not a parent, or a moderator... But I would suggest unless you're one either, perhaps this isn't the place for you to offer completely unsolicited "advice" about how people are awful around children. Not saying you can't provide interesting viewpoints on things, but it would be more useful, perhaps, to make sure they're in any way related to the conversation.
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

User avatar
Zamfir
I built a novelty castle, the irony was lost on some.
Posts: 7291
Joined: Wed Aug 27, 2008 2:43 pm UTC
Location: Nederland

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Zamfir » Sun Sep 06, 2015 3:44 pm UTC

mathmannix wrote:I've never heard of giving babies ice cubes of vegetables. So she just gnaws on frozen vegetables? Do you puree the vegetables and pour them into ice cube trays? Probably good for teething, right? Please elaborate for me!

Not Sure If Serious?I cook and puree food, pour it in trays, freeze them and then put the blocks in plastic bags back in the freezer. That way we have a collection of foods around, in handy blocks. At meal time, I put some blocks in a cup and heat them in the microwave until they are hand-warm. I thought everyone did this?


She now has hard poop. You open the diaper, there's a roughly sperical poop a few centimeters in diameter. Not rock-hard, a bit squishy, but you can pick up the sphere and it won't leave a trace. Pooping seems somewhat painful, though not terribly so.

Anyone with experience on this? We tried feeding her pureed prunes, but they are not popular and we're not at the stage where we can threaten to withhold dessert... Perhaps she needs to drink more? More milk, or extra water?

User avatar
Neil_Boekend
Posts: 3215
Joined: Fri Mar 01, 2013 6:35 am UTC
Location: Yes.

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Neil_Boekend » Sun Sep 06, 2015 5:45 pm UTC

Zamfir wrote:She now has hard poop. You open the diaper, there's a roughly spherical poop a few centimeters in diameter. Not rock-hard, a bit squishy, but you can pick up the sphere and it won't leave a trace. Pooping seems somewhat painful, though not terribly so.

Anyone with experience on this? We tried feeding her pureed prunes, but they are not popular and we're not at the stage where we can threaten to withhold dessert... Perhaps she needs to drink more? More milk, or extra water?

I'd ask a doctor about that. Bowel blockage (which can be caused by such poop) can be a serious problem in adults and I assume that it also works that way with children. Perhaps the little Zamfir needs some medication to prevent the escalation.
Mikeski wrote:A "What If" update is never late. Nor is it early. It is posted precisely when it should be.

patzer's signature wrote:
flicky1991 wrote:I'm being quoted too much!

he/him/his

User avatar
Whizbang
The Best Reporter
Posts: 2238
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2012 7:50 pm UTC
Location: New Hampshire, USA

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Whizbang » Sun Sep 06, 2015 6:29 pm UTC

Also, long term constipation and the resulting stretched anus (from large poops) can lead to long term potty problems, as it makes the child unable to feel the poop when it comes.

User avatar
Zamfir
I built a novelty castle, the irony was lost on some.
Posts: 7291
Joined: Wed Aug 27, 2008 2:43 pm UTC
Location: Nederland

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Zamfir » Sun Sep 06, 2015 7:22 pm UTC

In the unpredictable world of baby bowels, she just filled three diapers in a row with silky soft cream.

User avatar
Artemisia
Posts: 1186
Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2008 4:18 am UTC
Location: The Hague, NL

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Artemisia » Sun Sep 06, 2015 10:43 pm UTC

Moo, you have such a beautiful boy. He looks like a perfect mix between you and hubby. it's really cute.
This too shall pass

User avatar
Moo
Oh man! I'm going to be so rebellious! I'm gonna...
Posts: 6315
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2007 3:15 pm UTC
Location: Beyond the goblin city
Contact:

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Moo » Mon Sep 07, 2015 11:36 am UTC

Thank you sweetie!
Proverbs 9:7-8 wrote:Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. So don't bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you.

User avatar
PictureSarah
Secretary of Penile Nomenclature
Posts: 4576
Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:37 pm UTC
Location: Sacramento, CA
Contact:

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby PictureSarah » Tue Sep 08, 2015 12:47 am UTC

Zamfir, is your baby breastfed, or formula fed? Formula can cause constipation, because it has very large amounts of iron in it (in order for a little bit to be absorbed, because iron in formula is not as bioavailable as iron in breastmilk). When formula is used in conjunction with foods that can bind things up (bananas, rice cereal), it can create a problem. When Leo was an itty bitty, I found that any fibrous fruits usually did the trick (prunes, but also pears, peaches, plums, figs). For instance, mixing some carrots and pears with a bit of cinnamon and some Greek yogurt was a big hit, and had beneficial gut bacteria + fiber.
"A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for."

User avatar
Zamfir
I built a novelty castle, the irony was lost on some.
Posts: 7291
Joined: Wed Aug 27, 2008 2:43 pm UTC
Location: Nederland

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Zamfir » Tue Sep 15, 2015 6:15 pm UTC

Sorry for the late reply. It's nearly all formula now, with a single breast a day for my wife's amusement. But thar's been the same for some time, while the constipation is new.She does eat increasing amounts of solid foods. The constipation kept coming and going in the last week.

We do give her plums, and we also added 10% more water to the bottles. seems to work for now.

User avatar
Moo
Oh man! I'm going to be so rebellious! I'm gonna...
Posts: 6315
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2007 3:15 pm UTC
Location: Beyond the goblin city
Contact:

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Moo » Wed Sep 16, 2015 7:46 am UTC

Kiddo is having one to two nightmares a night. Soooooo tiiiiiiiired.
Proverbs 9:7-8 wrote:Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. So don't bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you.

User avatar
eran_rathan
Mostly Wrong
Posts: 1686
Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2010 2:36 pm UTC
Location: in the mirror.

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby eran_rathan » Wed Sep 16, 2015 12:27 pm UTC

:( Definitely been there - K had night terrors from about 2 til just recently. Hold and rock them, touch them, snuggle - they'll fall back asleep pretty quickly. Its usually not worth it to try to wake them up, then they'll be cranky and you'll both be tired.

We found that rocking chairs were wonderful - you rock and snuggle, and you both end up falling back asleep in a reasonable manner.
"Trying to build a proper foundation for knowledge is blippery."
"Squirrels are crazy enough to be test pilots."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
nɒʜƚɒɿ_nɒɿɘ

User avatar
PictureSarah
Secretary of Penile Nomenclature
Posts: 4576
Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:37 pm UTC
Location: Sacramento, CA
Contact:

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby PictureSarah » Wed Sep 16, 2015 4:23 pm UTC

How do I convince my child that using the toilet is a wonderful idea? His preschool teacher tells me that he's been doing a great job of it at school (probably due to peer pressure - they all use the potty together), but I can rarely convince him to even try at home. I have a sticker chart, and have offered treats. He hates diaper changes with a flaming passion, and we've talked about how using the potty would mean no more diapers. He's 2 years and 2 months. It's time.
"A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for."

User avatar
Whizbang
The Best Reporter
Posts: 2238
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2012 7:50 pm UTC
Location: New Hampshire, USA

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Whizbang » Wed Sep 16, 2015 4:29 pm UTC

They go through phases. Just keep at it.

One thing we did, since we had a boy (and a private backyard) is to designate a PeePee Tree. When he was outside, he was allowed to go to that tree and go "water" it... so it could grow. Once he started doing that and liking it, we asked him to use the toilet when he was inside. Outside = PeePee Tree, inside = toilet. He didn't always do so, but he definitely understood that was our preference. Eventually it took.

Pooping was another matter altogether. For that it just took repeatedly sitting him on the toilet each day, usually with a toy or game of some sort, and hoped he went. Eventually he got the idea, but there was a lot of "accidents".

We are now entering into that age for my youngest son. He is 1.75 years, and now likes to go stand in front of the toilet and pretend to pee. He thinks it is a game, but the interest is there. We try to get him to sit on the potty, but he is not interested in that. He wants to stand in front of the toilet, lift his shirt, and grab his crotch.

User avatar
PictureSarah
Secretary of Penile Nomenclature
Posts: 4576
Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 8:37 pm UTC
Location: Sacramento, CA
Contact:

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby PictureSarah » Wed Sep 16, 2015 4:39 pm UTC

The most frustrating thing is that when he was maybe 20 months old, he had a month where he was pooping in the toilet about 70% of the time, telling us when he needed to go, and enthusiastically agreeing (and usually going pee) every time we suggested the potty. Then the novelty wore off, and he decided that under no circumstances would he use the potty. :(
"A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for."

User avatar
Whizbang
The Best Reporter
Posts: 2238
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2012 7:50 pm UTC
Location: New Hampshire, USA

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Whizbang » Wed Sep 16, 2015 5:02 pm UTC

That happens. The interest comes and goes. Just keep the pressure on to use the toilet.

Also, be aware that sometimes, especially after a long-ish period of constipation, the child can lose the sensation of pooping, due to a stretched anus. This happened to our oldest. He went though about six months of using the toilet with very few accidents, then one day he started pooping his pants again. We thought maybe he was just going through a rebellious phase, but after another six months of accidents and issues, we talked to his pediatrician and he gave us some laxatives to empty our son out. After the initial messy phase, he slowly regained that "have to go" feeling and has since retained his potty trained status.

User avatar
Moo
Oh man! I'm going to be so rebellious! I'm gonna...
Posts: 6315
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2007 3:15 pm UTC
Location: Beyond the goblin city
Contact:

Re: Parenting - Gushes, Rants, Advice & Worries

Postby Moo » Thu Sep 17, 2015 7:56 am UTC

eran_rathan wrote::( Definitely been there - K had night terrors from about 2 til just recently. Hold and rock them, touch them, snuggle - they'll fall back asleep pretty quickly. Its usually not worth it to try to wake them up, then they'll be cranky and you'll both be tired.

We found that rocking chairs were wonderful - you rock and snuggle, and you both end up falling back asleep in a reasonable manner.
Thanks. Had the night terrors phase, which was horrible; these are nightmares and he's awake by the time he calls me. I am just exhausted from getting up a few times a night.

@PicSar, Lukas didn't potty train until just before his third birthday. We had made some progress before that but then dad started getting frustrated when it didn't go well and he ended up putting him off completely. Then, one weekend, months later, dad took off his nappy and pants at home, and within about 3 accidents there we were, potty trained. He was very excited about big boy pants, which helped. We started with cloth training pants but quickly gratuated to undies - in truth, mostly because he outgrew the training pants quickly. He hated the potty, and would only go on the seats that go on top of the toilet.

I guess I'm saying, if he's not ready there's not a lot you can do, and be careful about pressuring him into regression. He'll get there. Good luck.
Proverbs 9:7-8 wrote:Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. So don't bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you.


Return to “General”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 56 guests