I'm the Messiah.

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Koyaanisqatsi
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I'm the Messiah.

Postby Koyaanisqatsi » Sat Oct 22, 2016 4:40 pm UTC

I've come to save you all. I'll probably do it in a few months.

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Flumble
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby Flumble » Sat Oct 22, 2016 4:43 pm UTC

You're faaaar too early.
Madness is in April.

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poxic
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby poxic » Sat Oct 22, 2016 5:02 pm UTC

You're the Messiah! And you're the Messiah! Everyone is a Messiah!

From a certain point of view, that is.
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flicky1991
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby flicky1991 » Sat Oct 22, 2016 5:06 pm UTC

It couldn't get any Messiah in here.
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eSOANEM
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby eSOANEM » Sat Oct 22, 2016 5:11 pm UTC

Koyaanisqatsi wrote:

I've come to save you all. I'll probably do it in a few months.


You're not the Messiah, you're a very naughty film
my pronouns are they

Magnanimous wrote:(fuck the macrons)

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Weeks
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby Weeks » Sat Oct 22, 2016 7:00 pm UTC

Koyaanisqatsi wrote:I've come to save you all. I'll probably do it in a few months.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_claimed_to_be_Jesus
Am I gregnant
suffer-cait wrote:One day I'm gun a go visit weeks and discover they're just a computer in a trashcan at an ice cream shop.
rath358 wrote:manually adding a long list of swear words to my dictionary worked.

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Soupspoon
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby Soupspoon » Sat Oct 22, 2016 7:20 pm UTC

I'm with Icke!
(Not really.)

Koyaanisqatsi
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby Koyaanisqatsi » Wed Nov 02, 2016 5:35 am UTC

I'm not Jesus, I'm the real Messiah. Soon, the world will be saved and you'll realize it was me. You'll know it when you see it, you definitely can't miss it. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you, if you have any long term plans, don't worry, you probably won't need to do them.

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Liri
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby Liri » Wed Nov 02, 2016 12:23 pm UTC

I could definitely have Koyaaaaaaaaaanisqatsiiiiiiii as the soundtrack to my life.


My dad would show it to his ecology classes when he was a professor.
kalira wrote:But your own butt is always in the past, because it's behind you.

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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby SecondTalon » Wed Nov 02, 2016 12:39 pm UTC

Koyaanisqatsi wrote:I'm not Jesus, I'm the real Messiah. Soon, the world will be saved and you'll realize it was me. You'll know it when you see it, you definitely can't miss it. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you, if you have any long term plans, don't worry, you probably won't need to do them.

Then send me your bank account information
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heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

teelo
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby teelo » Thu Nov 03, 2016 4:30 am UTC

I'm actually the messiah. But I'm also lazy. Can't be bothered helping anyone.

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poxic
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby poxic » Thu Nov 03, 2016 11:56 pm UTC

Optipess-2016-09-23-751_Rise-to-Raise.png
Meh, world destruction is too much effort

(Link that won't work with attached image grumble grunt: Optipess #751
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Isaac Hill
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby Isaac Hill » Fri Nov 04, 2016 1:49 am UTC

I was declared the Messiah once. It was probably due to my long hair. I was at some local venue waiting for one of my favorite bands to play when some kid, maybe 16, came up to me and said, "Hey, me and my friends think you look like Jesus! Do a Jesus Dance!"

I have no idea what a Jesus Dance would entail.

I told him that if I were Jesus, I probably wouldn't need glasses, what with the divine heritage and all. He said, "Jesus wasn't perfect! Do a Jesus Dance!"

I told him that if I were Jesus, I'd have a beard, and he said, "You're Shaved Jesus! Do a Jesus Dance!"

I told him that according to the Bible, he had to tithe by giving me 10% of his money. He pulled a small wad of bills from his pocket and gave me a dollar. I made one of those forehead-sternum-shoulder-shoulder gestures at him, and told him his sins were forgiven. He got really excited, thanked me, and left me alone. I don't know what he'd done to be that excited about forgiveness.

I gave the dollar to the next homeless guy I saw, so the Church of the Shaven Jesus has 100% efficiency with zero overhead. Beat that, Catholicism. By which I mean beat that efficiency rate. Don't beat the homeless guy. He has enough problems.
Alleged "poems"
that don't follow a rhyme scheme
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poxic
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby poxic » Fri Nov 04, 2016 1:51 am UTC

You don't come by often enough, Is. <3
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eran_rathan
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby eran_rathan » Fri Nov 04, 2016 1:58 am UTC

"Trying to build a proper foundation for knowledge is blippery."
"Squirrels are crazy enough to be test pilots."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
not really Deadpool.

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Weeks
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby Weeks » Fri Nov 04, 2016 3:34 am UTC

Mr. Skeltal is much dootier than the Messiah.
Koyaanisqatsi wrote:Soon, the world will be saved and you'll realize it was me.
How? I haven't even seen your face. Do you have like a bat-signal or something we can recognize?
Am I gregnant
suffer-cait wrote:One day I'm gun a go visit weeks and discover they're just a computer in a trashcan at an ice cream shop.
rath358 wrote:manually adding a long list of swear words to my dictionary worked.

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Dr34m(4+(h3r
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby Dr34m(4+(h3r » Fri Nov 04, 2016 12:35 pm UTC

I am the Great Dragon Prophet. Not in the sense that I am a dragon, who is also a Prophet, but in the sense that I am a Prophet about things pertaining to dragons. Ignore my avatar. I bring the good word: the Great Dragon Spirits will award Bonus Points to anyone who does their bidding. These points are not redeemable for anything, but carry the imprimatur of the great beyond, which makes them good and valuable by necessity. Rejoice! Some prophets bring wisdom, and some bring redemption, but I bring a spirit sanctioned skinner box metagame for life itself!

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svenman
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby svenman » Fri Nov 04, 2016 2:21 pm UTC

I am the walrus.
Mostly active on the One True Thread.
If you need help understanding what's going on there, the xkcd Time Wiki may help.

Addams didn't die! But will Addams have a place to live? You can help!

Randallspeed to all blitzers on the One True Thread!

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eran_rathan
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby eran_rathan » Fri Nov 04, 2016 2:45 pm UTC

svenman wrote:I am the walrus.


coo-coo-ca-choo?
"Trying to build a proper foundation for knowledge is blippery."
"Squirrels are crazy enough to be test pilots."
"Google tells me you are not unique. You are, however, wrong."
not really Deadpool.

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Weeks
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby Weeks » Fri Nov 04, 2016 9:00 pm UTC

Image
Am I gregnant
suffer-cait wrote:One day I'm gun a go visit weeks and discover they're just a computer in a trashcan at an ice cream shop.
rath358 wrote:manually adding a long list of swear words to my dictionary worked.

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Isaac Hill
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby Isaac Hill » Sat Nov 05, 2016 4:24 am UTC

poxic wrote:You don't come by often enough, Is. <3
And when I do come by, it's to repost something I said years ago. I knew I'd told this story here before, and figured copy-and-pasting would be easier, and stop me from omitting or embellishing any details.

I do read the forums every day. But, that's often when I'm at work, and I've somehow come to the conclusion that reading the forums there is an acceptable level of shirking, but writing would be over the line. I guess I figure that consuming words is giving my brain a needed break, but if I've got the mental energy to create words, I should put that energy into my job.
Alleged "poems"
that don't follow a rhyme scheme
are not poetry

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Soupspoon
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby Soupspoon » Sat Nov 05, 2016 12:53 pm UTC


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somitomi
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby somitomi » Mon Nov 07, 2016 7:47 pm UTC

I am Spartacus!
write something... that says something... about something
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Zohar
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby Zohar » Mon Nov 07, 2016 7:50 pm UTC

Image
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

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Weeks
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby Weeks » Tue Nov 08, 2016 2:51 am UTC

That looks so much like a PBF comic
Am I gregnant
suffer-cait wrote:One day I'm gun a go visit weeks and discover they're just a computer in a trashcan at an ice cream shop.
rath358 wrote:manually adding a long list of swear words to my dictionary worked.

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Angua
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby Angua » Tue Nov 08, 2016 7:34 am UTC

Zohar wrote:Image

It's Shishichi!
'Look, sir, I know Angua. She's not the useless type. She doesn't stand there and scream helplessly. She makes other people do that.'
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Angua
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby Angua » Tue Nov 08, 2016 7:34 am UTC

Does anyone other than me even remember Shishichi?

Edit:
Realised I wasn't in faid otherwise would have edited instead of double posting. Consider myself chastised.
'Look, sir, I know Angua. She's not the useless type. She doesn't stand there and scream helplessly. She makes other people do that.'
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Zohar
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby Zohar » Tue Nov 08, 2016 1:55 pm UTC

Weeks wrote:That looks so much like a PBF comic

PBF usually turns a darker shade in the final panel, here the joke is set up in the very first panel and just continues from there.
Angua wrote:Does anyone other than me even remember Shishichi?

From #faid right? Also, if yours is still the last post in a thread, you can just delete it (and I imagine you have your own magical mod powers).
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

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Angua
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby Angua » Tue Nov 08, 2016 1:59 pm UTC

Shishichi came from the forums first back in the days when we wanted a mascot to celebrate out first 1000 page thread.

Modding gets tricky when on a phone at a conference :/
'Look, sir, I know Angua. She's not the useless type. She doesn't stand there and scream helplessly. She makes other people do that.'
GNU Terry Pratchett

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Zohar
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby Zohar » Tue Nov 08, 2016 2:01 pm UTC

Well you can only blame yourself for promoting your career and pursuing professional goals.
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

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Liri
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby Liri » Tue Nov 08, 2016 2:05 pm UTC

I assumed there was some sort of telepathic interface.
kalira wrote:But your own butt is always in the past, because it's behind you.

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Weeks
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby Weeks » Tue Nov 08, 2016 3:55 pm UTC

Angua wrote:Does anyone other than me even remember Shishichi?
I never forget. Shishichi is the best bot.

I remember fondly when I'd say "there is no..." and it would reply ONLY ZUUL
Am I gregnant
suffer-cait wrote:One day I'm gun a go visit weeks and discover they're just a computer in a trashcan at an ice cream shop.
rath358 wrote:manually adding a long list of swear words to my dictionary worked.

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suffer-cait
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Re: I'm the Messiah.

Postby suffer-cait » Sat Jan 07, 2017 10:41 pm UTC

All hail the 47!
ImageImageImageImageImage


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