Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby SneakyMongo » Mon Feb 25, 2008 12:07 am UTC

thedufer wrote:Yah, well I signed up with the much more prestigious Google. And they gave me 6.4 gigs. Now whos important?


I have been thoroughly upstaged!
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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby oxoiron » Mon Feb 25, 2008 4:14 pm UTC

You should be smug about that.
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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Nimz » Fri Feb 29, 2008 7:58 am UTC

b.i.o wrote:For my intro Psych course in HS we had to find a journal article (detailing a psychology-related study), and then look at what the study found, how they did it, etc. It was supposed to end with a analysis of the things the study in the article did badly/could have improved upon, etc. Most people wrote around a page. When I started it I was planning to do a page or two--however much I could. When I got going I got into that wonderful condition where you just always have more to write, and ended up writing a 4-5 page full-fledged essay detailing not only the problems/things I would fix with the current experiment, but what other studies I'd do in the future if I were working to refine the results and learn more about them.

It's one of the two pieces of high school writing that I've done that contained absolutely no BS (that said, I didn't do a whole ton of writing in HS). My Psych teacher (who's been teaching for a quarter of a century [his words, not mine]) said it was the best piece of student writing he's ever seen, and his English teacher of a wife agreed.

The best part of it all? It took me about 45 minutes to write the thing :D.

4-5 pages in 45 minutes?! Is that even possible?

I had a Psych class in college in which I had to look up something like five journal articles and do a similar sort of analysis. Supposed to be something like 3-5 pages each. I procrastinated on finding the articles until the night before, but I never was very good at writing large amounts of anything, so I had maybe 2 pages in my longest one. Didn't have time to go to bed, so I got ready, went to class, and turned them in. Same day, there's a maths contest for 2 year colleges (AMATYC - find your own links) that I was really excited about. Due to miscommunication, I arrived for the contest with 45 minutes left in it. The contest time is 2 hours, and each participant is allowed to use 1 hour. With no sleep and a 15 minute handicap, I ended up not only with the top score at the school, but scoring 19th in the US. And although the psych research analysis I started the story with were kinda short, the prof praised me for picking articles that had more depth than most students picked, and I still got an A in the class.

Gelsamel wrote:I got 94.5% and topped the class (only person over 90%) on my relativity test without going to a single lecture.

I aced the General Relativity final I took, even though I wasn't enrolled in the class. I went to the lectures, starting about week 3 (of 10), did (well on) all of the homework, and didn't get to many of the study sessions. Later, I was able to take a physics independent study course with the arrangement with that instructor that I would get the grade in the independent study that I would have gotten in GR, had I enrolled. Furthermore, I was able to use that physics independent study as an equivalent to an upper division maths elective for my MA coursework. Somehow I end up bending the system like that quite often.

Today I met a new co-worker, and as soon as she told me her name, I knew who she was. She's the person that demonstrated that the cyclic cutwidth of the 4-cube is 6 and provided a more elegant proof than the brute force proof known before her that the cyclic cutwidth of the 3-cube is 3. I know all that because my MA research is an attempt to prove the cyclic cutwidth of the n-cube in the floor of (5*2n-2/3), and her paper is one of those I have cited. Now I have met all the people that have worked on parts of the cyclic cutwidth problem for n-cubes (I shared some classes with the guy that proved the 5-cube case, and I started working on the problem the same time the gal that proved the 6-cube case started on that case. Nobody has done the 7-cube, afaik.). I should go to sleep, but I'm still too excited smug.
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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby michaelandjimi » Fri Feb 29, 2008 8:39 am UTC

I seem to feel smug whenever I complete something the night before and get top marks. Also, once I wrote a poem, which I forget now, when I was in about year 3, and my brother submitted it at high school for an assignment (I guess he was lazy) and it got into the school calendar. I now suck at poetry, but the one poem I submitted ever apparently rocked! I do this often, win something once and never try it again so I can gloat about a 100% success rate. The other time I can remember atm was winning a relay at the swimming carnival, despite having zero aptitude.
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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Moo » Fri Feb 29, 2008 10:37 am UTC

Today I am made of smug. Despite almost no-one having stock, and no-one looking like they would have delivered on time, I've found a way to get Hubby's almost certainly F*ING AWESOME birthday present on time. I've also handmade his card and booked a great day out on Sunday. Birthday is SORTED.
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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:11 am UTC

Smugly Story in progress:

So, we know this lass, and we really like her, and we think she would benefit from being with us. I mean, really benefit, if human existence ranks on a scale from 1 being the worst to ten being the best, it would be a sevenfold increase from 2ish to 14ish, easily more than that. Quite possibly, there would be no comparison.

It's not entirely altruistic, mind you. We want her. Body and soul.

So, we took her shopping several hours ago, and began easing her into things. We took her home, where we plunged her deeply into things. She's taken it well. We haven't slept in a long while, but there is still much to do. She, on the other hand, is sleeping in the guest room. This is fine, when she wakes, we'll be ready to finish this. We've done our level best to open her eyes to what she wants. Soon it will come time to ask the question.

If all goes well, we can tack polygamy onto our list of sins/blasphemies.
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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Sour Apple » Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:22 am UTC

I'm sorry, until the last sentence, I thought you were attempting a Gollum or something. Then I understood. Also, the word "plunged" makes me giggle.

Ahem. I'm rather smug that I got 100% in an economics class I only went to half the time. I seem to have a talent for getting decent grades without doing much studying. Tragically, my other grades last semester were not that fantastic due to the same lack of attendance.
Who I am. [Apparently this isn't obvious: I'm a chick, a bird, a female of your species.]

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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Nebulae » Sun Mar 02, 2008 9:45 am UTC

Today I made a delicious cheesecake. And I eated it.
/smug
Insignificant Deification wrote:Smugly Story in progress:

So, we know this lass, and we really like her, and we think she would benefit from being with us. I mean, really benefit, if human existence ranks on a scale from 1 being the worst to ten being the best, it would be a sevenfold increase from 2ish to 14ish, easily more than that. Quite possibly, there would be no comparison.

It's not entirely altruistic, mind you. We want her. Body and soul.

So, we took her shopping several hours ago, and began easing her into things. We took her home, where we plunged her deeply into things. She's taken it well. We haven't slept in a long while, but there is still much to do. She, on the other hand, is sleeping in the guest room. This is fine, when she wakes, we'll be ready to finish this. We've done our level best to open her eyes to what she wants. Soon it will come time to ask the question.

If all goes well, we can tack polygamy onto our list of sins/blasphemies.


You sound positively vampiric, like you're going to initiate her into some kind of higher state of being. Also, the part about, uhm, wanting her soul :oops: .
Which bring me to my next question. Is this fora some kind of rallying point for supernatural creatures? Is there some sort of "Enemies of Mankind" subforum hidden around here somewhere?

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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Toeofdoom » Sun Mar 02, 2008 12:15 pm UTC

I went to darkzone (Laser wars) with a total of 23 other people from uni and such. For those who dont know, you run around for 7 hours in rounds of about 20 minutes on average, trying to shoot people with "lasers".

Anyway, the first 2 rounds I almost doubled the score of the person in second place and followed that up with an 8th, 3rd, 2nd and 6th, for an overall estimated first place in game types that gave individual scores. I was accused of hacking, shouted at for not even getting tired in the endurance round (second last, 50 minutes, most people sit down by then, I ran around the whole time and came 2nd) and was a high enough threat that people warned their teammates with my name when I appeared. Also, in the first 2 games, around 5-7 red players were defending the most defensible place in the game, and I would regularly attack them and shoot 2-all of them before getting hit, even though they had guns twice as fast in the second game.

I'm not sure if I made it clear enough, but I beat them all significantly.

This is all particularly cool because I didnt think I was that good at laser wars.
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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Aperfectring » Sun Mar 02, 2008 3:11 pm UTC

I only have old smug stories.

One dates all the way back to my senior year of high school (nearly 7 years ago). For my current events class, the final exam was the following: We were given a list of 5 controversial topics. We had to pick one, and and pick one side, and write a one page (front and back) paper defending our choice. We were told this would be the case one week before, but were not given the topics until the exam. I walked into the exam with one sheet of paper, one pencil, a 6-sided die, and a quarter. I rolled the die for which topic to pick (6 meant roll again), and flipped the coin for what side to take. I later found out that I got a perfect score on the exam.

During my introductory Physics class in college (6 years ago), I was rather smug in the exams. We were allotted one page (front and back) of handwritten notes to use during the exam. For the first exam, I used a magic marker, and wrote F= in 7" letters on one side of the page, and ma in 7" letters on the other side. For the second exam, I wrote the kinetic and potential energy equations in 3" letters, one to a side. For the third exam, I was "nice" and didn't bring a page. Each of the exams were 1.5 hours long. 30 minutes were allocated for the instructors/proctors to hand out the exam papers and check IDs (don't ask me why they checked IDs), and one hour for actually taking the exam. We used the "Elliott Hall of Music" for our exams, and sat every other seat. Based on the size of the auditorium, I would estimate there were somewhere around 2000 people there for the exam each time. I was always either the first person out, or within 5 minutes of being the first person out, with no more than 10 people ever exiting before me.
Odds are I did well on my probability exam.

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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Azrael001 » Sun Mar 02, 2008 5:36 pm UTC

I have a similar Laser Tag story, there were only 3 rounds, and it was a school trip. The name that I signed up with was "a tree" I won all three rounds which were free for alls. Even a couple of days later there would be people in the hall that would recognize me as a tree.
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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Sun Mar 02, 2008 6:37 pm UTC

@Sour Apple: What, pray tell, is a 'Gollum'? Aside from a LOTR character?

@Nebulae: Vampiric isn't totally off base. We will be initiating (it's actually quite soon now, I think), and later, there will be blood. So, neither of the points you forwarded can be denied.

As for if this forum is a rallying point for supernatural creatures, why should I, a minor deity, tell you?

Smugly Update: Things are going very well. She's become noticeably affected.
Belial wrote:You are giving me the tools to sodomize my vast imagination, and for this I am grateful.

PM Me, if you care for a chat.

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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Nebulae » Sun Mar 02, 2008 7:22 pm UTC

Insignificant Deification wrote:@Nebulae: Vampiric isn't totally off base. We will be initiating (it's actually quite soon now, I think), and later, there will be blood. So, neither of the points you forwarded can be denied.

As for if this forum is a rallying point for supernatural creatures, why should I, a minor deity, tell you?

Because it's for SCIENCE@!!11 (I want to cut everyone up and look at them under a microscope :oops: And also to incorporate their super-DNA into my own :P )

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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Azrael001 » Sun Mar 02, 2008 7:28 pm UTC

You can't have mine. Bwa hahahaa!
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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Nebulae » Sun Mar 02, 2008 7:33 pm UTC

I won't hurtkill you I swear!It'll only hurt for a little bit, and you can have free cookies and play guitar hero. Everybody likes guitar hero, right?

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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Azrael001 » Sun Mar 02, 2008 7:35 pm UTC

Blast! Cookies! My only weakness, how did you know?
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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Nebulae » Sun Mar 02, 2008 7:37 pm UTC

I'll just say I've been noticing several trends lately among you folk...

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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Mmmm, Pi » Sun Mar 02, 2008 7:37 pm UTC

Nebulae wrote:I won't hurtkill you I swear!It'll only hurt for a little bit, and you can have free cookies and play guitar hero. Everybody likes guitar hero, right?


I really wanna try playing guitar hero at some point - nobody I know has it and I'm not about to pay for the stuff needed, not on a student budget.

Now cookies, I can make them myself.
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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Azrael001 » Sun Mar 02, 2008 7:40 pm UTC

Can and do are two different things... also, if there is no milk there is no deal. Cookies are merely good without a tall glass of milk to accompany them.
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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Nebulae » Sun Mar 02, 2008 7:44 pm UTC

Are you Santa Claus?

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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:10 pm UTC

Do you really want to be a vampire-god? You still have weaknesses, even if you are technically immortal.

Smugly aside: I'm really looking forward to this. I'm currently not needed. My SO is having one-on-one time with her. Gosh, giggly anticipation. I'll get back to all of you with the final result in a few hours.
Belial wrote:You are giving me the tools to sodomize my vast imagination, and for this I am grateful.

PM Me, if you care for a chat.

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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Azrael001 » Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:12 pm UTC

Nebulae wrote:Are you Santa Claus?


No, I bring no toys, only death and despair.
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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Nebulae » Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:22 pm UTC

Insignificant Deification wrote:Do you really want to be a vampire-god? You still have weaknesses, even if you are technically immortal.

Smugly aside: I'm really looking forward to this. I'm currently not needed. My SO is having one-on-one time with her. Gosh, giggly anticipation. I'll get back to all of you with the final result in a few hours.

Hey who said anything about being purely a vampire-god? I aim to be part raptor, part cheese, part mathematician, etc...

(BTW, I've always wondered how polygamous relationships would work out, ideally there'd be no jealousy at all, but...)

Azrael001 wrote:
Nebulae wrote:Are you Santa Claus?


No, I bring no toys, only death and despair.


So you ARE Santa Claus, breaking the hearts of kids everywhere with false promises

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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Azrael001 » Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:27 pm UTC

I am caught. Though I now have got to kill you, being a ninja and all (watch Ask a Ninja) I have no choice.
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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Nebulae » Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:36 pm UTC

Azrael001 wrote:I am caught. Though I now have got to kill you, being a ninja and all (watch Ask a Ninja) I have no choice.

*Infects you with hantavirus and runs*
http://truckbearingkibble.com/comic/2007/03/08/battle/
^One of my favorite webcomics btw, absolutely amazing art. (It's also disturbingly similar to PBF)
/smug for spreading the word

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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Azrael001 » Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:59 pm UTC

While that is indeed an excellent webcomic, it is only a "purple ninja" that is affected by these things. He is clearly not a real ninja as

1. He is wearing purple.
2. He is visible.
3. He removed his mask.

All of these things prove that he is not in fact a ninja but an impostor whom other, real, ninjas are picking on because they can.
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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Sun Mar 02, 2008 11:24 pm UTC

And, final Smugly update:

You may now tack polygamy to our list of kinks, sins, and blasphemies.

Now, to begin teaching her. :D

In case anyone's wondering, this new lass in our household will be referred to as 'sT' henceforth, whereas my significant other is still 'SO'.

Note that the capitalisation is intentional.

And, once sT becomes an established part of our framework of life, there is another girl we're thinking of, H.

Goodness, we've got an interesting year ahead of us.
Belial wrote:You are giving me the tools to sodomize my vast imagination, and for this I am grateful.

PM Me, if you care for a chat.

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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby '; DROP DATABASE;-- » Sun Mar 02, 2008 11:45 pm UTC

Nebulae wrote:Is this fora some kind of rallying point for supernatural creatures? Is there some sort of "Enemies of Mankind" subforum hidden around here somewhere?
If there is, I want in.
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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Savoy_Truffle » Sun Mar 02, 2008 11:51 pm UTC

Background: I'm in the top two most selective choirs on campus (let's call them Chorus and Singers), and am not usually smug (I've also been in a couple of the not-selective choirs and quit because of mean old people problems -- don't ask).

Next, there's a girl who is typically in Singers who's got one of the most rotten personalities I know (she regularly picks on people with less than a quarter of her own confidence), who seems to believe that she is God's gift soprano to music, though I've quietly kept to myself the fact that she's been turned away from Chorus for three years running.

A recent conversation:

C: Oh, how are you? (fake smile)

Savoy: Good, you?

C: Well, you know, concerts and such.

Savoy: I haven't seen you around Singers, lately?

C: Yeah well, I got tired of the mediocrity. I mean, it's not Chorus, right?

Savoy: I guess... Steve [director of Chorus] is always raving about Singers, though, and we're having fun....

C: (cryptic look) How do you know Steve? Have you played in the orchestra for Chorus or something?

Savoy: Oh, I've sang in Chorus since last year.

**conversation ends slightly awkwardly very soon afterwards**

That's probably my most smug moment in a looongg time.
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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby bbctol » Tue Mar 04, 2008 4:03 am UTC

Unsmug aside: Am I the only one who wants to know tremendous amounts of details on what exactly I_D and company are doing to this mysterious new slave?

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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Azrael001 » Tue Mar 04, 2008 4:04 am UTC

No.
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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Tue Mar 04, 2008 4:17 am UTC

Leo wrote:Umm. . . Yaw, it's like. . . symbolic 'n' stuff.


If you really want to know something, you PM me lads and lasses.
Belial wrote:You are giving me the tools to sodomize my vast imagination, and for this I am grateful.

PM Me, if you care for a chat.

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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Azrael001 » Tue Mar 04, 2008 4:19 am UTC

No.


(I just enjoy posting the word no. I don't actually care enough to go through the trouble of bothering you about it.)
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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Lycur » Tue Mar 04, 2008 6:51 am UTC

Unless one of them *actually* is a cat girl and there's a handlebar mustache involved it can't possibly live up to my fantasy anyways. That's pretty much the story of my life come to think of it...

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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Nimz » Tue Mar 04, 2008 7:49 am UTC

Well, I got back my second Galois Theory midterm (aced the first one with little studying). I was disappointed that I only got 108%. I got all 10 points for the extra credit, but I missed 2 points on proving a theorem, where the proof was in the book. Not bad for ~5-10 minutes of studying, though. I should be able to pull an A in that class (as opposed to an A-), despite my sketchy homework record. This is kinda cool because my undergrad GPA was about 3.3, with the whole spectrum of grades in that average. I'm almost done with my MA, and I've only had one A- so far to drop my GPA below 4.
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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby aeki » Tue Mar 04, 2008 7:13 pm UTC

Today I finally, having had my learner's permit for six years, took my driver's test. And passed.

I guess that's smugness that should have been felt and forgotten a long, long time ago, but I'll take what I can get.

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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby SneakyMongo » Tue Mar 04, 2008 7:38 pm UTC

Earlier today, I made a sandwich. I used bologna, and waffles as bread. It was very delicious. Fuck you, food-based normalcy!
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-Spoony Experiment

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swik
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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby swik » Tue Mar 04, 2008 8:37 pm UTC

The first paper for my first writing class in college was supposed to be a meditative essay on a "Significant/meaningful event in you life". Being the natural gamer that I am my immediate thought was to pick a moment of my life that was completely mundane and insignificant and write about it as if it wasn't. An obvious gimmick to try and set my paper apart from the rest and it would be considerably easier to write because it would mostly be BS. I figured either it would go over well and I'd get a good grade and the prof. would think I was innovative or something or he would hate it but it wouldn't negatively impact me because it was the first assignment of the first writing course so a student completely bombing it wouldn't be unexpected.

People wrote about the death of loved ones or losing all of their belongings in a fire, things of that nature. I chose to write about waiting in an airport a few extra hours because my flight was delayed. I'm fierce procrastinator so I waited until the morning it was due to hammer it out. I think and function completely differently under the stress of a deadline. I wrote a bunch of pages on the everyday things you observe when you're waiting alone in a strange place, however because it was supposed to be meaningful I added a bunch of crap to give everything a point. I was actually embarrassed because to me it seemed obviously forced.

The prof. gave me the highest grade possible, told me it was one of the best student works he'd read in years, and recommended that I submit it to some writing contest or something. I never did because not only am I ridiculously shy (well past the point of being a problem) but I am usually completely unmotivated unless there is a deadline that if I don't meet, I'll experience significant negative results.

Was still nice and I find it weird that the things I write that people seem to like, I think are stupid and completely hate.

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Azrael001
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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Azrael001 » Tue Mar 04, 2008 8:40 pm UTC

Of course the solution is to publish your work here, for us to read. Unless of course you can't / don't want to.
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Steve
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Re: Today I am made of Smug ((The Smug Stories Thread))

Postby Steve » Tue Mar 04, 2008 10:25 pm UTC

I just sent 3 new bouldering routes and on-sighted a route that is a grade above my level today. All of this with a (now severely) strained left elbow.
John Hancock


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