Creative Curses

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Creative Curses

Postby Shro » Sat Nov 17, 2007 10:11 pm UTC

So you know when you get really really pissed and just want to swear but you can't for whatever reason? You're either around kids, or people who don't swear or you want to make a good impression. What creative ways have you found around it? I'm not talking about Fudge or Dang or whatever, because that's pretty much old hat. I for one like the word "Slytherin!". Try it out as an expletive. I promise, it's actually pretty fun. One of the other ones that I've come across on the boards (popularized by a word filter awhile back) is Optimus Prime.

So, what kinds of things do you use to be funny, a little more PC, or just plain weird?

(Note to mods: I was debating whether or not to put this in the language subfora or G, so feel free to pigeonhole as you see fit.)
Last edited by Shro on Sun Nov 18, 2007 8:03 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Creative Curses

Postby H.E.L.e.N. » Sat Nov 17, 2007 10:21 pm UTC

My seventh-grade English teacher told a story about...I think it was her mother, somebody's mother, who used to say "paper bag" in French in a really nasty voice. And people would be like, oh, that horrible little lady.

I'm too fond of actual curse words (used sparingly, for greatest effect), to think of any others right now.

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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Rodan » Sat Nov 17, 2007 10:24 pm UTC

I used to exclaim "Blood!"
now I generally use things involving monkeys. Like, say "Monkey droppings!"

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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Twasbrillig » Sat Nov 17, 2007 10:32 pm UTC

helen wrote:My seventh-grade English teacher told a story about...I think it was her mother, somebody's mother, who used to say "paper bag" in French in a really nasty voice. And people would be like, oh, that horrible little lady.


That sounds awesome. I love swearing in French - I'll try out fake-swearing.
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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Maseiken » Sat Nov 17, 2007 10:36 pm UTC

I said Smeg alot, of course, that was from BEFORE I knew it was an actual word, and what that word is.
I still say it a bit.

Mostly I make long strings of incoherent muttered sounds.
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Twasbrillig » Sat Nov 17, 2007 10:38 pm UTC

Maseiken wrote:I said Smeg alot, of course, that was from BEFORE I knew it was an actual word, and what that word is.
I still say it a bit.


*vomits*

That's a terrible way to curse! I'm sure whatever company you're with enjoys it.

Given, I call anything that's really tasty 'orgasmic'.

"Man, this ice cream is orgasmic!"
I want to have Bakemaster's babies. It's possible, with science.

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...what is wrong with my signature?

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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Rodan » Sat Nov 17, 2007 10:43 pm UTC

Twasbrillig wrote:
Maseiken wrote:I said Smeg alot, of course, that was from BEFORE I knew it was an actual word, and what that word is.
I still say it a bit.


*vomits*

That's a terrible way to curse! I'm sure whatever company you're with enjoys it.

Given, I call anything that's really tasty 'orgasmic'.

"Man, this ice cream is orgasmic!"

Damn it, you've forced me to talk in a slad fingers accent for a few minutes!

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Re: Creative Curses

Postby parkaboy » Sat Nov 17, 2007 11:08 pm UTC

"tough shit" usually comes out as "tough kitty puffs". O_o?
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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Sat Nov 17, 2007 11:12 pm UTC

"Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick"

"Sweet merciful cheesefucking Buddha"

Uhm...

"Yarg!"

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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Clerria » Sat Nov 17, 2007 11:29 pm UTC

Slytherin sounds like a hilarious 'bad word'. I can just hear it being yelled in suppressed frustration. For some reason it reminds me of 40 year old virgin when he's being waxed. I vaguely recall he says some pretty hilarious 'bad' things there on a similar notion.

I for one, can't stop saying "god!" or "god dammit" constantly, even though i'm not religious, or haven't been really since my teens (upbringing, what can you do?). I need to train myself out of it, the same way I trained myself into not ever EVER saying 'ya'll' or 'ain't'. Fuck upbringing!
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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Maseiken » Sat Nov 17, 2007 11:38 pm UTC

Twasbrillig wrote:
Maseiken wrote:I said Smeg alot, of course, that was from BEFORE I knew it was an actual word, and what that word is.
I still say it a bit.


*vomits*

That's a terrible way to curse! I'm sure whatever company you're with enjoys it.

Given, I call anything that's really tasty 'orgasmic'.

"Man, this ice cream is orgasmic!"

It's not MY fault, blame Grant Naylor! (I am aware that Grant naylor is not a person, thank you)
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Sat Nov 17, 2007 11:43 pm UTC

He is a gestalt entity.

I love the Smeg-Ups where the little kid asks him "What does Smeg mean?" and Craig Charles slides out of his seat and crawls behind it.

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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Savoy_Truffle » Sat Nov 17, 2007 11:50 pm UTC

I stole "crivens" from the "Wee Free Men" -- I use it almost everyday though :oops:
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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Shabooty » Sat Nov 17, 2007 11:58 pm UTC

Sweet Zombie Jesus!
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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Maseiken » Sun Nov 18, 2007 12:09 am UTC

I use Funking, but usually when I'm writing...
on xkcd.
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

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Re: Creative Curses

Postby tiny » Sun Nov 18, 2007 12:26 am UTC

I curse using either a plain 'fuck' or 'shit', or a random string of curses usually starting with: 'Dreck, Rotz, Kacke, Scheiße, Popel...' (which would translate as 'crud, snot, poo, crap, booger...') and being continued by rearranging those words, here and there throwing in a 'shit' or so.
This started when the most cruel character I've ever written, turned out to only curse with 'Dreck!'. My friend - who wrote his primary victim - developed a (temporary) aversion to every phrase this sick guy utters on a regular basis, thus turning 'Dreck' into a really nasty word (at least in our conversations).
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Re: Creative Curses

Postby pocketfulofgold » Sun Nov 18, 2007 12:35 am UTC

i used the word "horchata" when i was in Spain because i found it in the dictionary and it meant "tiger nut milk," and i was sure no one would ever use that word in everyday conversation... but then i found out it was actually a popular drink. silly me.

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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Verator » Sun Nov 18, 2007 12:48 am UTC

pocketfulofgold wrote:i used the word "horchata" when i was in Spain because i found it in the dictionary and it meant "tiger nut milk," and i was sure no one would ever use that word in everyday conversation... but then i found out it was actually a popular drink. silly me.




I...find that vaguely disturbing.

I for one, whenever I cant' swear, make angry agonized evil noises and grunts and I say 'bah' a fair bunch.

I should start fake-swearing in German. Hell, I should swear normally in German, except I don't know that many. Or really any other than shit.
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Re: Creative Curses

Postby davef » Sun Nov 18, 2007 12:51 am UTC

I'm quite fond of 'Jesus-Tittyfucking-Christ' as an expression of frustration.

I also like 'clusterfuck' and 'shitehawk'.

EDIT - I've also recently started using 'Oh. My. Non-existent. God.' which I stole from Pharyngula. I like that one a lot!
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Re: Creative Curses

Postby davef » Sun Nov 18, 2007 1:01 am UTC

In the kind words of the Virgin Mary - "Come again?"
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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Sun Nov 18, 2007 1:05 am UTC

My favorite curse from Firefly. It translates to "Holy Testicles!"

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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Aluminus » Sun Nov 18, 2007 1:05 am UTC

Jesus-Tapdancing-Christ!
Jesus-eatin'-a-cracker-and-smokin'-a-joint-Christ!

French Swear Words: Special note: most French swear words involve religious references.
Osti or Esti (Bitch)
Tabarnak (fuck) which is slang for Tabernacle (the chalice one drinks from when taking communion)
Caulise (shit)
Crise (Dammit) Crise is French for Christ
Maudit Anglais (Fucking English... yeah I hear that one a lot around here)

String them all together now! Say it five times fast for emphasis!
Cau-Tab-Crise-Maudit-Osti! (you need to slur on the s)
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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Aluminus » Sun Nov 18, 2007 1:15 am UTC

You can be creative and use merde if you want...
Merde I think refers more to animal shite (cow, horse, other)

Or does my old navy shirt belie my Englishness?
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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Alpha Omicron » Sun Nov 18, 2007 1:22 am UTC

My general expletive is designed for an optimal blend of blasphemy and curse-level: "Godjesusclusterfuck!".
Here is a link to a page which leverages aggregation of my tweetbook social blogomedia.

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Re: Creative Curses

Postby tiny » Sun Nov 18, 2007 1:26 am UTC

Verator wrote:I should start fake-swearing in German. Hell, I should swear normally in German, except I don't know that many. Or really any other than shit.
In addition to my aforementioned random string of curses:
Verdammt/verflucht - damn
Verdammte Scheisse - damned shit
Himmel, Arsch und Zwirn - sky, ass and yarn ô.o
Kreuzgewitter, die Axt - cross thunderstorm, the axe
Scheibenkleister - window pane glue
Herrgott noch eins - the Lord again
Hm. Not as many as I thought. To make up for that I add some insulting terms to throw at people:
For males: Arschloch, Wichser, Drecksack, Idiot, Flachwichser, Hurensohn, Spasti, Krueppel, gehirnamputierter Vollidiot, Schwein, Schweinehund, Stueck Scheisse, Depp, Sausack, Huehnerficker.
For females: Schlampe, Nutte, Fotze, Pissnelke, dumme Sau, bloede Kuh, Zicke, Tussi.
Hehe... this is fun :D
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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Verator » Sun Nov 18, 2007 1:29 am UTC

tiny wrote:
Verator wrote:I should start fake-swearing in German. Hell, I should swear normally in German, except I don't know that many. Or really any other than shit.
In addition to my aforementioned random string of curses:
Verdammt/verflucht - damn
Verdammte Scheisse - damned shit
Himmel, Arsch und Zwirn - sky, ass and yarn ô.o
Kreuzgewitter, die Axt - cross thunderstorm, the axe
Scheibenkleister - window pane glue
Herrgott noch eins - the Lord again
Hm. Not as many as I thought. To make up for that I add some insulting terms to throw at people:
For males: Arschloch, Wichser, Drecksack, Idiot, Flachwichser, Hurensohn, Spasti, Krueppel, gehirnamputierter Vollidiot, Schwein, Schweinehund, Stueck Scheisse, Depp, Sausack, Huehnerficker.
For females: Schlampe, Nutte, Fotze, Pissnelke, dumme Sau, bloede Kuh, Zicke, Tussi.
Hehe... this is fun :D



I remember my German teacher saying Verdammt am Crusifix was like 'we'll kill you if you say this and little old ladies will die' bad. (Excuse spelling, it's been a while.)
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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Aoeniac » Sun Nov 18, 2007 1:29 am UTC

When I don't feel like swearing, I've found I replace phrases like, "well shit" and "fuck..." with "oh lovely" and "charming..."

Although once I called somebody, well:

You...you... COPENHAGEN INTERPRETATION!


Regular conversation often involves:
-Son of your mother!
-Ya nard!
-Bunch a wahoos...
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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Unbeknown » Sun Nov 18, 2007 1:32 am UTC

davef wrote:In the kind words of the Virgin Mary - "Come again?"

Someones been watching Snatch?

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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Akira » Sun Nov 18, 2007 1:35 am UTC

Anything said in a dirty enough tone can be a curse...

"Did you remember the test?"
"WHat!? Pencils, pensandasheetofpaper!!"
"...o_o??"
"...Sorry..."
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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Maseiken » Sun Nov 18, 2007 1:39 am UTC

You son of a Silly Person,
I Fart in your General Direction,
You Mother a Hamster, and you Father Smelled of Elderberries!
Now Go away before I taunt you a second time!
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

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Re: Creative Curses

Postby davef » Sun Nov 18, 2007 1:40 am UTC

Unbeknown wrote:Someones been watching Snatch?

Not recently, but I do love that phrase :)
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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Flying Betty » Sun Nov 18, 2007 1:54 am UTC

I like "blast" and "piffle" if I'm disinclined to swear for any reason. Blast usually gets a laugh, which can be fun sometimes. "Bloody hell" works nicely too, as it's not terribly offensive in America.
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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Vandole » Sun Nov 18, 2007 2:33 am UTC

My favourite swearword is scheissekopf. (should probably be two words, and I'm not sure on the spelling) It's german for shithead, but it's unfortunately only useful for cursing at someone. I also like Spoony Bard and Son of a Submariner. Blast is a good one, but only if I do it in the Cao Cao voice from Dynasty Warriors.

Hufflepuff is another good mild curse. It sounds kinda like saying darn.
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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Alpha Omicron » Sun Nov 18, 2007 3:01 am UTC

Vandole wrote:(should probably be two words, and I'm not sure on the spelling)

Nothing in German is two words.
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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Verator » Sun Nov 18, 2007 3:03 am UTC

Alpha Omicron wrote:
Vandole wrote:(should probably be two words, and I'm not sure on the spelling)

Nothing in German is two words.


Das Ende.
[Wednesday January 02 20:41:06] Akira: but i want a penis ;_;
[Wednesday January 02 20:41:12] Mrcheesypants: let's face it, you aint below a 3 on a kingsley scale
[Wednesday January 02 20:41:36] Mrcheesypants: two sided dildos are like penises

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Re: Creative Curses

Postby functionally_stupid » Sun Nov 18, 2007 3:11 am UTC

"Cockswallowing titbiscuits!" Shake fist for emphasis; look murderous.

I have no fucking clue what it's supposed to mean, but damned if it doesn't sound funny.
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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Rodan » Sun Nov 18, 2007 3:13 am UTC

Alpha Omicron wrote:
Vandole wrote:(should probably be two words, and I'm not sure on the spelling)

Nothing in German is two words.

Was? That's stupid.

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Re: Creative Curses

Postby Alpha Omicron » Sun Nov 18, 2007 3:16 am UTC

Merely commenting on the German language's propensity for long compound words.

And it's T'was that's stupid. [/attack on T'wasbrillig]
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