Something awesome for under $8?!

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Teh Russians
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Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby Teh Russians » Tue Dec 11, 2007 3:40 am UTC

One of my friends organized this "secret hanta" for me and like 20 other people I know or semi-know at my high school. Basically she gave us each a piece of paper with someone else's name on it, and we have to secretly give that person a present(under $8) over the next 3 weeks.

The person I got is a girl I don't really know too well, but she seems the slightly geeky/artistic type. I am at a complete loss. I considered getting the xkcd car dashboard stickers from the store, but... meh... idk.

Any suggestions?
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby d3adf001 » Tue Dec 11, 2007 3:43 am UTC

get them some g2 pens. noone can hate that gift, you can ever have enough g2's

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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby Ian Ex Machina » Tue Dec 11, 2007 3:46 am UTC

Hmm buy an Ann Summers starter bondage kit.
Here it's only £8 (secret santa too here.)

Just find something funny and unique.
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby noparenthesis » Tue Dec 11, 2007 3:55 am UTC

Ian Ex Machina wrote:Hmm buy an Ann Summers starter bondage kit.
Here it's only £8 (secret santa too here.)


Yeah, but that's more like $16 US.
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby Ian Ex Machina » Tue Dec 11, 2007 3:57 am UTC

noparenthesis wrote:
Ian Ex Machina wrote:Hmm buy an Ann Summers starter bondage kit.
Here it's only £8 (secret santa too here.)


Yeah, but that's more like $16 US.


Hmm surely you can buy like used sextoys for cheaper then?
hehe....
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby parkaboy » Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:21 am UTC

a kite.
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby Sartorius » Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:23 am UTC

Your junk in a box?

Oh me yarm don't hurt me please! *runs away*

Honestly, I'd just look for some random stuff at the dollar store. Since your friend is organizing this, she should know this girl, so I'd ask her for some tips.

Chocolate is *always* good, unless she's allergic. Even then she still might eat it.
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby Shizo » Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:35 am UTC

Your finger. If you're feeling adventurous you could go south. :wink:

plus, it's free!
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby El Senor Fruit Swing » Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:42 am UTC

Caffine, Mountain Dew
A joint?
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby Ian Ex Machina » Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:44 am UTC

Ooh, buy lots of materials for arts and crafts and craft something using love and the power of your creativity?
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby Teh Russians » Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:48 am UTC

wow... umm... none so far that I might consider. Chocolate is good, but that's my last resort, if I don't come up with anything better. Thanks for the suggestions though, keep them coming. :D
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby Habanero » Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:57 am UTC

Teh Russians wrote:wow... umm... none so far that I might consider. Chocolate is good, but that's my last resort, if I don't come up with anything better. Thanks for the suggestions though, keep them coming. :D
Just give her $8 and walk away. She'll get what she wants. Or, give her $6 and wrap it up real nice.

A google search uncovered this. I am not sure, but I think I love this woman.

Edited: craigslist is made up of highly transient entries. I copied this to text to capture it for posterity.

Spoiler:
Bullshit "Secret Santa" and office politics

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2003-12-17, 12:12PM EST


Why do female co-workers feel a compulsion to organize "Secret Santa" gift giving in the office each year?

To start with, morale in my place of business (banking) is incredibly low due to exhorbitant pay disparities, staff cuts, and over work of junior employees. To add insult to injury, I'm now placed in the awkward position of buying a dumb gift for a managing director who 1) doesn't know my name, 2) views me as a disposable plug, and 3) earns 12-20 times what I do.

I do not want to buy him a gift, and I WOULD NOT have to buy him a gift, if it weren't for the meddling of a fat fuck woman organizing some Secret Santa gift exchange.

Of course, the women in the office tout the Secret Santa gift exchange as "voluntary", but then they approach you in front of your co-workers (some of whom are senior) with a goddamn hat full of crumpled up pieces of paper.

"Secret Santa time!" they say with a dumb sing song voice.

And then they just stand there with an oblivious, goofy, shit eating grin. It's all I can do to keep from unloading total shock and awe.

And therein lies the problem. You're trapped. To not participate is perceived as "weird" and non-conformist, even anti-team player, and your rejection of the event creates potential ammunition to be used against you at a later date when your superiors are discussing your performance bonus.

Do women not get it? Secret Santa is an entirely female engineered phenomenon. Men did not create it, and men feel precisely 0 (zero) compulsion to organize such an event. They even feel resentful when "blackmailed" into participation.

So go to the fax machine and pick up the memo, ladies. During the holidays:
1. Decorate the fuck out of your cube and your cube alone. Do not touch mine.
2. Drop a Daisy Cutter (Google it, fucktards) on that burning compulsion you feel to tell everyone in the office to bring in homemade "treats" for people to graze on. If you need to rip through a case of Double Stuff Oreos, forklift your fat ass down to the cafeteria. Do not blackmail other people into feeding you for free.
3. During the holidays, you are permitted to nag the following: a blood relation, your puss boyfriend, your closet fag husband. If you nag any other male, it's not nagging, it's ANNOYING UNPROFESSIONAL BEHAVIOR.

Subset examples:
A. Don't tell me to put canned goods in the fucking homeless shelter box. Unlike you, I volunteer at the homeless shelter - and not just during the holidays.
B. Don't send me "reminder" e-mails telling me to order a Tickle-Me-Elmo off of Amazon for the retarded kid in Belize. I said I'd do it, and I'll fucking do it.
C. Don't pester me about the status of my holiday shopping. What am I getting you? Oh, that's right, a leaky bag of sulfuric acid and a holiday tin of flaming shit.

Your takeaways:
If you're female, and you're not attached or related to a male office co-worker, then, with the exception of NSA blowjobs and the normal requirements of business, LEAVE HIM THE FUCK ALONE.

PostingID: 21023087
Last edited by Habanero on Tue Dec 11, 2007 5:19 am UTC, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby Likpok » Tue Dec 11, 2007 5:01 am UTC

Caramel, homemade. It's pretty cheap (the recipe makes two pounds), doesn't go bad, and is very delicious.

To make it you need:
A candy thermometer (or any one that goes up to 250°F)
One cup granulated sugar
One cup brown sugar
One cup corn syrup (karo is a common brand)
One stick butter
Two cups cream
Parchment paper

Combine all of the above except one cup of cream into a large pot. Put the candy thermometer in, and start heating. Stir until everything is evenly mixed. Wait until the mixture reaches 240°F. Put some water into a pyrex (or other microwave safe container). Nuke it for a little bit (so it gets hot)

Add the second cup of cream, and stir a little bit. Now, with a pasty brush, brush some of the heated water around the edges of the pan.
Now, find another pan (into which you will dump the caramel), and line it with parchment paper. Wait until the caramel reaches 244-246°F, and pour it into the parchment paper-lined pan!

This recipe makes two pounds of caramel. You can substitute margerine for the butter, or even margerine spread (just make sure you add a little extra for the spread, because it has air whipped into it).
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby El Senor Fruit Swing » Tue Dec 11, 2007 5:02 am UTC

Habanero wrote:
Teh Russians wrote:wow... umm... none so far that I might consider. Chocolate is good, but that's my last resort, if I don't come up with anything better. Thanks for the suggestions though, keep them coming. :D
Just give her $8 and walk away. She'll get what she wants. Or, give her $6 and warp it up real nice.

A google search uncovered this. I am not sure, but I think I love this woman.

god I think I'm in love
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby Teh Russians » Tue Dec 11, 2007 5:06 am UTC

Habanero wrote:A google search uncovered this. I am not sure, but I think I love this woman.

I could not agree more, but if I don't get something that will suck for her to be the only one who doesn't get anything :(

Likpok wrote:Caramel, homemade.

Now THAT is a good idea. Thank You!
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby Likpok » Tue Dec 11, 2007 5:11 am UTC

Now THAT is a good idea. Thank You!


If you have any questions about the recipe feel free to pm me.

Teh Russians wrote:Habanero wrote:
A google search uncovered this. I am not sure, but I think I love this woman.

I could not agree more, but if I don't get something that will suck for her to be the only one who doesn't get anything :(


That is amazing. Ah the internet, the perfect location for all the rants you can't let those folk at work see.
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby d3adf001 » Tue Dec 11, 2007 5:12 am UTC

i still say something useful. theres nothing i hate more than getting shit i dont use/need. like an ambracramby and finch shirt (i cant even spell it). get her a MAXX STEELE

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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby Sartorius » Tue Dec 11, 2007 5:13 am UTC

Personally, I would do fudge rather than caramel, but it is a really good idea.

(I really don't care that I've been ninja'd. I just want to submit the damn post. >.<)
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby Likpok » Tue Dec 11, 2007 5:17 am UTC

Fudge is harder though... When I've made it, it sometimes turns out not quite the right texture. If you keep the temperature right, caramel is pretty easy.
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby PictureSarah » Tue Dec 11, 2007 5:21 am UTC

Habanero wrote: Craigslist Rant


Am I missing something here? Is it actually implied anywhere in that posting that the author is a woman?
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby Habanero » Tue Dec 11, 2007 5:25 am UTC

PictureSarah wrote:
Habanero wrote: Craigslist Rant


Am I missing something here? Is it actually implied anywhere in that posting that the author is a woman?
It doesn't matter who the poster was. Your question is irrelevant. THAT is the woman I think I am in love with. When I meet her, I will court her.
Why make things difficult when it is possible to make them cryptic and totally illogical with just a little bit more effort?

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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby EvanED » Tue Dec 11, 2007 5:49 am UTC

Habanero wrote:A google search uncovered this. I am not sure, but I think I love this woman.

What makes you think the author is a woman?

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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby Rat » Tue Dec 11, 2007 7:22 am UTC

PictureSarah wrote:
Habanero wrote: Craigslist Rant


Am I missing something here? Is it actually implied anywhere in that posting that the author is a woman?


qft

also, you could prolly find uuuuhhh... super nintendo game?

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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby williamager » Tue Dec 11, 2007 8:28 am UTC

d3adf001 wrote:get them some g2 pens. noone can hate that gift, you can ever have enough g2's


I happen to have a particular dislike of those pens.

Teh Russians wrote:One of my friends organized this "secret hanta" for me and like 20 other people I know or semi-know at my high school. Basically she gave us each a piece of paper with someone else's name on it, and we have to secretly give that person a present(under $8) over the next 3 weeks.

The person I got is a girl I don't really know too well, but she seems the slightly geeky/artistic type. I am at a complete loss. I considered getting the xkcd car dashboard stickers from the store, but... meh... idk.

Any suggestions?


Perhaps one of the goals of the exercise is to encourage one to learn more about the others who are involved in it? With three weeks to gather information, it shouldn't be too much of a challenge to find out what she might like; the subtlety and covertness required should make the task more interesting.

I would advise against the stickers, unless you can verify her appreciation for xkcd.

I would also advise against alarm clocks; while this would seem self-evident, there were several employees at my former company that gave them as presents to random people during some sort of hideous random gift exchange.

Of course, if you want hilarity to ensue, you could try giving her an Americium source.* They're rather inexpensive, and no one could accuse you of choosing a generic or mundane gift. The explanations to the school administrators might be rather awkward, however.

* I take absolutely no responsibility for the results of actually doing so. This statement is made entirely in jest, and should not be construed as advice or a suggestion. In short: don't follow it.
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby Fossa » Tue Dec 11, 2007 8:47 am UTC

Artistic?

Get her a single copic marker, either black or a multiliner.

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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby Toeofdoom » Tue Dec 11, 2007 10:03 am UTC

Go to a second hand bookshop, get any book that looks even vaguely good and keep getting more until they add up to $8, then get a box big enough to hold them all.

Alternatively, buy as many bouncy balls as you can for $8. If they turn out to be too expensive, you could try mixing in some table tennis balls, but they arent as fun. The point here is to end up with them all being thrown around bouncing off stuff and causing general insanity.

EDIT: Another possibility is to get as much A4 paper as possible for $8, fold it into hundreds of paper planes and stick them in a big enough box so as not to crush them.
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby Adalwolf » Tue Dec 11, 2007 11:26 am UTC

What about a 12 pack of cheap beer? Pabst Blue Ribbon is about 7 bucks or so for a 12 pack, and is the best of the cheap beers.

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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby Elenion » Tue Dec 11, 2007 2:58 pm UTC

Get her something with Hello Kitty on, all girls love Hello Kitty <3
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby Vanguard » Tue Dec 11, 2007 3:01 pm UTC

A smallish stuffed animal.
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby SecondTalon » Tue Dec 11, 2007 3:02 pm UTC

Go to a bait shop and buy $8 worth of crickets.
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby Moo » Tue Dec 11, 2007 3:04 pm UTC

Can you buy like 5 sq cms of rainforest with that much or something? Or you could donate it to a charity on her behalf (though I know it's not much).
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby chaosspawn » Tue Dec 11, 2007 3:06 pm UTC

Vanguard wrote:A smallish stuffed animal.

Actually one of the plush microbes. I mean then you can say you gave her the plague (or syphilis).
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby d33p » Tue Dec 11, 2007 3:08 pm UTC

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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby SecondTalon » Tue Dec 11, 2007 3:23 pm UTC

Yeah, d33p wins. Actually, for $8, I think you can get three or four.

Or maybe $6 worth of scrap lumber and nails, and build small stairs to go with it.
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby d33p » Tue Dec 11, 2007 3:25 pm UTC

3 Slinkies = 3 times the fun! You could have races.
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby MoonBuggy » Tue Dec 11, 2007 3:25 pm UTC

Second vote for a whole load of bouncy balls - a quick Google says that you can probably get somewhere between 35-125 of them for $8 (seriously, there are places selling bags of 250 for $15). I sure as hell would appreciate a hundred bouncy balls, and I can't think of anyone I know who wouldn't :mrgreen:
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby Toeofdoom » Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:29 pm UTC

Anyway, if you dont take my bouncy ball idea, I'll have to use it sometime, but it really would work so much better at a school. If you want, write something interesting on each one, if you can find something that works for writing on them. If you can transfer xkcd comics onto them, then you just won the competition for the most awesome present.

another idea is to get a few pieces of wood and some wheels and make something that you can sit on and with be able to move around fairly well, and preferably fast. Of course, this may well cost over $8, but if you could even attach a rope to the front, that would be pretty cool.
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby MFHodge » Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:40 pm UTC

One time in college, a group of about ten of us went to the arcade at the local mall and played a bunch of ticket games. We pooled all our tickets and cashed them in on nothing but bouncy balls. The guy didn't feel like counting them out, so we all just grabbed huge handfulls and filled our pockets. That was a fun week.

So +1 vote for a bunch of rubber balls (and maybe a rubber cock as a punchline? Too far?)
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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby Bakemaster » Tue Dec 11, 2007 4:43 pm UTC

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Re: Something awesome for under $8?!

Postby Teh Russians » Tue Dec 11, 2007 5:03 pm UTC

Thanks people! So as of now my top choices are caramel, bouncy balls, and the slinky. hmm...
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