Embarrassing stories of youth.

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xnull
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Embarrassing stories of youth.

Postby xnull » Mon Jan 08, 2007 3:02 am UTC

I figured this might bring about some interesting stories, so here goes:
Tell a story from your childhood. If you need to embelish, nobody will know, but the idea is also for you to remember some of the great stories. I will start off.

When I was small (3rds grade, 4th grade) I really liked "Cover Girls". It was probably hormones kicking in or something, but I really liked them. Somehow it translated into me wanting to be a Cover Girl when I grew up and announcing that to my family.

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Postby Fluff » Mon Jan 08, 2007 3:08 am UTC

I (allegedly) had an invisible alter ego called Gedi. (Like Jedi, but with a 'G')

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Postby hermaj » Mon Jan 08, 2007 3:15 am UTC

My childhood nickname was Mogadon Madonna, because of the meds I was on. They used to cause me to randomly pass out, usually at dinner. I had to be watched to make sure I didn't pass out and suffocate in my food. Once, at this restaurant, I passed out before our meals arrived and woke up as we were leaving. I cursed the restaurant claiming they didn't feed us.

Also, another time, my dad accidentally flashed my bum to an entire restaurant.

...I'm not so good around restaurants. :P

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Postby xnull » Mon Jan 08, 2007 3:25 am UTC

Once on a field trip at my school to an aquarium, I still believed that girls had cooties. One of the other schools that was visiting had a girl that had a fancy for me and chased me around relentlessly. Eventually I was hiding at the top of a small escalator (although it seemed large at the time) and she came up it. I pushed her down the escalator. They never caught me.

hermaj, awesome story.
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Postby toms2866 » Mon Jan 08, 2007 4:30 am UTC

Family whitewater rafting when I was in high school, way back in the day before all the safety buzz. After successfully navigating a class 5, we eddied up by some rocks downstream. The current was still strong, but we had to take out for portage around an unpassable stretch. I jumped to an approaching rock, but fell into the water. Riding the current, the raft rode up the rock, pinning me underwater against the rock. My memories of the moments underwater have mercifully faded to a blur of icy rushing water, hard slippery rock, rubbery raft, bubbles and wild panic. Eventually my brother in the raft figured out what happened and unpinned me, but not before I experienced the biggest adrenaline rush I hope I ever get.

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Postby svk1325 » Mon Jan 08, 2007 6:36 am UTC

(This took place when I was in 3rd Grade)

I would always hang around with my brothers and their friends since it seemed fun. Well one time, we were eating dinner somewhere and my brother's friend was talking about how bad yesterday was. He kept saying f*** over and over. (They were 20 at the time.)

But anyways, the next day at school, I was randomly saying f*** even though I had no idea what it meant. (Could you blame me? I was 8 years old at the time.) Word got around and I got called into the principal's office a few days later. I got a detention even though I still had no idea what the word meant at the time.

...
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Postby xnull » Mon Jan 08, 2007 6:43 am UTC

I went to church with a babysitter of mine because she was uber-religious. The service was about people who could speak the tongue of the lord without any training, blah blah blah. I took the opportunity upon myself to ramble off the alphabet in a language similar to pig latin. My babysitter thought it was a sign of god, started crying and announced it to the convention. I told her what I was really doing, and her face got very red. People kept giving me strange looks.
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Postby starvingartist » Mon Jan 08, 2007 6:50 am UTC

When I was around 10 years old I was in a store with my mom and sister and I was looking at some Christmas decorations when I dropped one. So I bent down to pick it up, and to my surprise, through the effort, I ended up farting really loudly. I looked around quickly, but nobody had seemed to notice, so I was relieved. But then right when I got up, my sister yelled out "Eww you farted!" and everybody looked at me.

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Postby hermaj » Mon Jan 08, 2007 6:53 am UTC

svk1325 wrote:(This took place when I was in 3rd Grade)

I would always hang around with my brothers and their friends since it seemed fun. Well one time, we were eating dinner somewhere and my brother's friend was talking about how bad yesterday was. He kept saying f*** over and over. (They were 20 at the time.)

But anyways, the next day at school, I was randomly saying f*** even though I had no idea what it meant. (Could you blame me? I was 8 years old at the time.) Word got around and I got called into the principal's office a few days later. I got a detention even though I still had no idea what the word meant at the time.

...


Heheh - this isn't me, but my dad, but a similar thing - when he first started primary school, he didn't speak a word of English, only Dutch. So he basically had to learn from what he heard around the playground and from friends and stuff. Never good.

So he went to order a cream bun at the tuck shop one day, and he thought it was called a cream bum - but when he asked politely for a cream bum, all the nuns went psycho at him. "What did you say, young man?!" But he had learnt that "What did you say?" meant that the person couldn't hear you, and so he kept shouting louder and louder "I WANT A CREAM BUM!", and the nuns kept shouting "WHAT DID YOU SAY?" and he got in trouble and he had no idea why. He just wanted a cream bun. :P


...I'll just disspell all my slight off-topicness at once - two more stories involving my family's difficultly learning English. Particularly Aussie English, I guess.

When my Oma was in hospital after having had my uncle, a nurse popped her head around the corner saying "Would you like some tea now, luv?" My Oma didn't drink tea, so she politely declined, to the confusion of the nurse. She got absolutely no dinner that night.

Again my Oma - a note came home with my dad for some school function thing, with the instruction to "bring a plate". So she sent my dad off with just a plate. Once again, Dad got in trouble for being a smartarse. :P

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Postby Gordon » Mon Jan 08, 2007 7:25 am UTC

I remember when I was about 5 years old my older sister (who was about 8 ) told me she wanted to play "ghosts" with me. So we both put sleeping bags over our head and started walking around the main floor of our house (if you ever try this, I suggest playing in the basement, I'll explain why in a minute). So after about 5 minutes of walking around my sister takes hers off without my knowing and leads me to what she told me were the front doors. Telling me to just lean forward and open the door I then went tumbling down a flight of stairs with a damn sleeping bag over me. The staircase did a 90degree curve about have way through so I was pretty disoriented when I got to the bottom as well as having lodged myself completely into the bag and wrapped up so tight in it that the fact I was sitting on the way out made it very frightening. So I started to scream and my sister immediately knew she had done something not so nice, put her bag back over her head so when my mom came running down she looked completely innocent.

She never told us the truth until about 10 years later, looking back it was kinda funny, but none the less embarassing.
Last edited by Gordon on Fri Jan 19, 2007 11:05 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
Meaux_Pas wrote:
RealGrouchy wrote:I still remember the time when Gordon left. I still wake up in the middle of the night crying and screaming his name.
I do that too, but for an entirely different reason.
RealGrouchy wrote:
Gordon wrote:How long have I been asleep?!
Our daughter is in high school now.

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Postby superiority » Mon Jan 08, 2007 12:09 pm UTC

When I was about 2 or 3, the house we lived in had a big plum tree out in the back section. Really good for climbing. So one day, at about the time I was outgrowing the need for constant adult supervision, I wandered out back to play with my brothers. They were several years older than me, and, to my despair, climbed the tree easily. I tried, but at that age I didn't have quite the limb length to get up on my own. Of course, I wasn't going to take that kind of crap from some smartass tree. So I beat it up. Ran at it, actually. Head-first. Fast as I could. I headbutted the tree, because it wouldn't let me climb it.





I think it's pretty clear who came out on top.

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Postby Grincement » Mon Jan 08, 2007 12:49 pm UTC

We were building a tree house a little walk away from my house and I was so intent on building this that I forgot about needing the toilet until it was too late...I was just climbing down and felt my legs getting warm and my jeans going a darker blue. Thankfully none of the other kids noticed so I ran home, however family friends were visiting so as I ran into the house my mum was like "come and see aunty blah" and I just had to make my excuses (saying I had fallen in a cow pat) and run upstairs to shower!!

Most people last wet themselves when they're 5...I on the other hand was 8 :oops:
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Re: Embarrassing stories of youth.

Postby thomasjmaccoll » Mon Jan 08, 2007 1:31 pm UTC

xnull wrote:I figured this might bring about some interesting stories, so here goes:
Tell a story from your childhood. If you need to embelish, nobody will know, but the idea is also for you to remember some of the great stories. I will start off.

When I was small (3rds grade, 4th grade) I really liked "Cover Girls". It was probably hormones kicking in or something, but I really liked them. Somehow it translated into me wanting to be a Cover Girl when I grew up and announcing that to my family.


this reminded me of one... when i was very small, ie pre-school, i absolutely loved 'the little mermaid'... that's not so bad, i was just little, but i did ask my mum if i could get a shell bra for christmas...
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Postby aldimond » Mon Jan 08, 2007 5:57 pm UTC

superiority wrote:Ran at it, actually. Head-first. Fast as I could. I headbutted the tree, because it wouldn't let me climb it.

I think it's pretty clear who came out on top.


Just a few years ago (I was probably just shy of 20) I knocked over a tree playing Ultimate Frisbee. I was on defense and was running all-out for the disk, and next thing I knew I was right in the middle of the tree... I'd snapped the trunk clean in half. It wasn't a very big tree... but I like to think that I've avenged the pain of everyone that's run into trees and lost the battle.
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Snow.

Postby Wedge » Mon Jan 08, 2007 6:34 pm UTC

Up until I was eight, I lived in Hong Kong. Then we moved to Norway, and I remember looking forward to playing in the snow I'd seen so much of on TV. After I woke up the first day after arrival, I put on some clothes and spurted out, but came back only a few minutes later.

My mom asks: "Didn't you like it outside?"

Me: "Oh yeah, but I'll wait till the snow gets a bit warmer."

Still waiting...

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Postby Sonic# » Thu Jan 11, 2007 2:39 pm UTC

svk1325 wrote:(This took place when I was in 3rd Grade)

I would always hang around with my brothers and their friends since it seemed fun. Well one time, we were eating dinner somewhere and my brother's friend was talking about how bad yesterday was. He kept saying f*** over and over. (They were 20 at the time.)

But anyways, the next day at school, I was randomly saying f*** even though I had no idea what it meant. (Could you blame me? I was 8 years old at the time.) Word got around and I got called into the principal's office a few days later. I got a detention even though I still had no idea what the word meant at the time.

...


Hmm... the same word plagued me.

One time in third grade, we had some free time. And magnetic letters on the air conditioner, among other things. I think I was on the computer. Anyway, we finished and went back to our desk, and the teacher asked, outraged, "Who put this on the refridgerator?" Someone else asked aloud, "What does it say?" And my tall self hopped, glimpsed the word, and exclaimed quizzically, "F*** me?" Then the teacher rounded on me and accused me of putting it up. There was apparently no way I could've seen the word... I had to sit out of outside recess.

And then there's the time when, at the bus stop, I found... what but a dead squirrel! Why... I put it in my back pack. This was good... no... perfect for the science table! I showed a few kids on the bus, the squirrel who had ants crawling out of the eye sockets. Then at school... I set him out proudly. Kids gradually came in and saw it... and when my teacher walked in, she went over to see what the commotion was. "Who brought this in?" she asked, and I proudly raised my hand. "Whoever touched this, wash your hands," she said, and everyone did... and then it was carried away in a paper bag by the office secretary. That was first grade.

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Postby digitrev » Thu Jan 11, 2007 4:37 pm UTC

Once in third grade, I got completely owned by a patch of ice. Living in Ottawa, we always got patches of ice in the school yard, which we were supposed to avoid. But being the rambunctious little tykes (stupid kids) we were, we had a fun game of running on the pavement up to the ice, and sliding as far as you could down the ice. However, on this fateful day, my feet slipped out behind me, and I faceplanted. I started freaking out, as my eye hurt really bad. Then one of the older kids told me I was bleeding, and I freaked out even more. Pretty embarrassing.

Though not quite as bad as this one. In grade 5, I had this really bad gas problem. I had to fart every 10-20 minutes or so, and they had a horrible stench. It got to the point where the teacher just let me leave the classroom when I had to, so that I wouldn't stink up the room.
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Postby Rat » Thu Jan 11, 2007 5:51 pm UTC

i dated a girl who cheated on me behind my back a few times.. she works at jewel so every time i went in there while i was dating her it felt like everyone was looking at me and maybe even laughing.. HAHA, WELL, THEY PROBABLY WERE.. considering shes fucked just about every dude that works there... i seemed to have been made a fool of...


it's okay though she's no longer with us

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Postby aldimond » Thu Jan 11, 2007 6:26 pm UTC

Rat wins the thread.

One time in shop class in 6th grade I think vibrations from one of the machines made me dizzy and nauseous. So they pushed me in a wheelchair to the nurse's office, and in a few minutes I was OK... that's not much of a story, really... it's weird that it never happened again, though... whatever.
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Postby Aoeniac » Thu Jan 11, 2007 6:26 pm UTC

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Postby Blayze » Thu Jan 11, 2007 6:34 pm UTC

Asking my mum, during the annual family Christmas/New Year party, with roughly ten guests, in a loud and clear voice, what an orgy was. At age eight.
Crease resistant.

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oops

Postby hack124x768 » Fri Jan 12, 2007 12:24 am UTC

Last year in my history class we were talking about some possibly offensive artwork in the text book. The teacher asked the class what the difference between art and pornography was. Being first period with me still half asleep I said that art is harder to find.
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Postby Lani » Fri Jan 12, 2007 12:28 am UTC

This was only about a year ago, but fainting at a movie theater was pretty damn embarassing. Fainting also, by the way, sucks ass.

When I was 7 or so, I got into a fight with the girl across the street, and I was really mad...so I bit her on the arm. On her right forearm to be exact. I got in lots of trouble of course, but she gave me grief about it for years afterwards...
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Postby Gordon » Fri Jan 12, 2007 1:40 am UTC

Fainting does suck, I did once when I was about 12 or 13. We were rehearsing for some sort of school musical thing and I was dehydrated. Anyway being the class clown when I started getting wobbly everyone thought I was just joking around bumping into them and my one friend actually pushed me forward so when I fell I fell kinda hard.
Meaux_Pas wrote:
RealGrouchy wrote:I still remember the time when Gordon left. I still wake up in the middle of the night crying and screaming his name.
I do that too, but for an entirely different reason.
RealGrouchy wrote:
Gordon wrote:How long have I been asleep?!
Our daughter is in high school now.

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Postby hyperion » Fri Jan 12, 2007 3:17 am UTC

in year 5 i was poking a hole in a piece of thick paper (dunno why) with a mechanical pacer pencil. the pencil stabbed through the paper and the tip of my left index finger, and it left a small piece of graphite there.
it's still easily visible after 6 years


i used to pick my toenails really short. once i picked my big toe nail too short, and when it grew back, it was ingrown(?). after a while, it started to get filled with pus and inflamed. i went to the doctor who told me to soak it in betadeine water for an hour every night, then swap with betadeine and bandage it. this went on for about 8 months, when i couldn't keep doing it and just got surgery. it grew back normally, but i still hadn't learned my lesson. i picked it too short again.
the same thing happened, and now my nails are waayyy too long
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Postby Fuolornis Fire Dragon » Fri Jan 12, 2007 4:11 am UTC

Once I lit my hair on fire trying to see if the fireplace flu was open. I forgot to put the fire out first.
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Postby dragonfrog » Fri Jan 12, 2007 6:25 am UTC

lani wrote:This was only about a year ago, but fainting at a movie theater was pretty damn embarassing. Fainting also, by the way, sucks ass.


When I was, um, 18ish, was in Germany, staying with an exchange family. I had only been there a couple of weeks, and hadn't really gotten to know many people, so I was bored at home one evening.

I decided to see how long I could hold my breath. Before doing this I obviously needed to hyperventilate, so as to oxygenate myself as much as possible.

While in this highly tripped out state, my fuddled brain apparently decided the reason I felt so odd was that I was thirsty, so I got up off the bed, picked up an empty glass water bottle, walked over to the washbasin in my room, and began filling the bottle. How I did this I don't know, as I was too disoriented even to see straight. I seem to recall the walking part was very challenging. So of course the bottle slipped from my hands, and there was a great smash.

Once I could see and think more or less straight, I tried to clean up the glass, only to find there wasn't any - the bottle was fine, it was the washbasin that had broken.

So, one of the first things I did at this family's home was to break their washbasin by dropping a glass bottle on it. I never told them the bit about the hyperventilating.

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Postby hermaj » Fri Jan 12, 2007 7:33 am UTC

I'll start by saying the bit at the bottom (I've had a complete blank on spelling) is not lying - I'm just at my Nanna's for a little bit and am borrowing her computer. :P

Not me, but: A couple of days ago, my 15 year old sister looked at me and went "Heyyyy, your last name's Jovanka* too, isn't it?". It was later revealed in all her 15 years of life, she had never stopped to think that maybe my surname was the same was hers. She was completely gob-smacked.


*Not my last name, but... it seemed fitting.

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Postby Devil_H@ck » Fri Jan 12, 2007 11:29 am UTC

dragonfrog wrote:I decided to see how long I could hold my breath. Before doing this I obviously needed to hyperventilate, so as to oxygenate myself as much as possible.

Btw, never do that in a swimming pool. What you're effectively doing by hyperventilating is making your body to stop telling you to breath if you've got only a little oxygen left. If you hyperventilate really hard and then try seeing how far you can swim under water, you'll just pass out & drown.

Apparently, this happens quite a lot. A friend of mine went swimming about 2 months ago and he and some other guy decided to find out who could swim the furthest underwater. The other guy hyperventilated and well, yeah, he sank to the bottom of the swimming pool. Luckily my friend noticed it quickly.

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Postby jestingrabbit » Fri Jan 12, 2007 2:23 pm UTC

hermaj wrote:I'll start by saying the bit at the bottom (I've had a complete blank on spelling) is not lying - I'm just at my Nanna's for a little bit and am borrowing her computer. :P

Not me, but: A couple of days ago, my 15 year old sister looked at me and went "Heyyyy, your last name's Jovanka* too, isn't it?". It was later revealed in all her 15 years of life, she had never stopped to think that maybe my surname was the same was hers. She was completely gob-smacked.


*Not my last name, but... it seemed fitting.


I was recently at my brothers wedding and the bride happened to have the same first name as one of my aunts, and now she has the same first name as well. There was a cheezy bit where they were introducing the bridal party over the PA and when they said my aunts name she said "wow, that's my name too!". It was funny because she'd made her dress, been totally involved and never put two and two together!

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Re: oops

Postby Narsil » Sun Jan 14, 2007 7:04 am UTC

hack124x768 wrote:Last year in my history class we were talking about some possibly offensive artwork in the text book. The teacher asked the class what the difference between art and pornography was. Being first period with me still half asleep I said that art is harder to find.
That's awesome. I'm so going to say that next time a have the opportunity. A good auxiliary answer is "A government grant".
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Oh... that.

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Postby Ephphatha » Sun Jan 14, 2007 9:15 am UTC

Trying to decide who would play on what team for a recent tourny I went to (Warmachine, nothing exciting) it was decided that Dave, Andrew, and I (Also an Andrew) would be on the same team. So just to make sure I said (while pointing at the person) "Ok, so thats Dave, me, and Andrew (pointing to myself) on one team."
I'm not lazy, I'm just getting in early for Christmas is all...

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Postby Gelsamel » Sun Jan 14, 2007 9:17 am UTC

Ephphatha wrote:Trying to decide who would play on what team for a recent tourny I went to (Warmachine, nothing exciting) it was decided that Dave, Andrew, and I (Also an Andrew) would be on the same team. So just to make sure I said (while pointing at the person) "Ok, so thats Dave, me, and Andrew (pointing to myself) on one team."


Ephphatha you know what I'm looking for!

Remember that link posted a while ago linking a court case where one person/company threatened another and the response given was basically a long-winded and technical "Fuck you". It is somewhat of an Internet meme and it's used in online arguments sometimes. I needa find that link, I've been searching heaps but I can't find it!

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Postby no-genius » Sun Jan 14, 2007 10:25 am UTC

Gelsamel wrote:
Ephphatha wrote:Trying to decide who would play on what team for a recent tourny I went to (Warmachine, nothing exciting) it was decided that Dave, Andrew, and I (Also an Andrew) would be on the same team. So just to make sure I said (while pointing at the person) "Ok, so thats Dave, me, and Andrew (pointing to myself) on one team."


Ephphatha you know what I'm looking for!

Remember that link posted a while ago linking a court case where one person/company threatened another and the response given was basically a long-winded and technical "Fuck you". It is somewhat of an Internet meme and it's used in online arguments sometimes. I needa find that link, I've been searching heaps but I can't find it!


could it possibly be this one?
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Postby Gelsamel » Sun Jan 14, 2007 10:51 am UTC

no-genius wrote:
Gelsamel wrote:
Ephphatha wrote:Trying to decide who would play on what team for a recent tourny I went to (Warmachine, nothing exciting) it was decided that Dave, Andrew, and I (Also an Andrew) would be on the same team. So just to make sure I said (while pointing at the person) "Ok, so thats Dave, me, and Andrew (pointing to myself) on one team."


Ephphatha you know what I'm looking for!

Remember that link posted a while ago linking a court case where one person/company threatened another and the response given was basically a long-winded and technical "Fuck you". It is somewhat of an Internet meme and it's used in online arguments sometimes. I needa find that link, I've been searching heaps but I can't find it!


could it possibly be this one?


Yes that's it, thank you so much!

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dragonfrog
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Postby dragonfrog » Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:13 am UTC

Devil_H@ck wrote:
dragonfrog wrote:I decided to see how long I could hold my breath. Before doing this I obviously needed to hyperventilate, so as to oxygenate myself as much as possible.

Btw, never do that in a swimming pool. What you're effectively doing by hyperventilating is making your body to stop telling you to breath if you've got only a little oxygen left. If you hyperventilate really hard and then try seeing how far you can swim under water, you'll just pass out & drown.


Indeed, that sounds like a pretty bad idea.

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Twasbrillig
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Postby Twasbrillig » Tue Jan 16, 2007 11:33 pm UTC

Oh yeah. Just remembered.

Until I was about 6 or 7, I truly believed the Skytrain in Vancouver actually flew. My parents told me as such, and encouraged me when I doubted it. I failed to notice the massive amounts of cement and the other Skytrains around the city whilst I was walking around.
I want to have Bakemaster's babies. It's possible, with science.

I wonder if you can see...
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wing wrote:I'm sorry... But that was THE funniest thing I've ever read on the interbutts.

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Verysillyman
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Postby Verysillyman » Wed Jan 17, 2007 11:34 am UTC

I had a similar experience when I was little and knew nothing about cars. Someone suggested we take the skyline into town, and I had high hopes for what could only possibly be something like a gondola or flying fox. I was mildly disappointed.

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Hawknc
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Postby Hawknc » Wed Jan 17, 2007 1:25 pm UTC

Did you drift all the way there?

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Verysillyman
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Postby Verysillyman » Wed Jan 17, 2007 9:03 pm UTC

It took me very very very long to catch your meaning. My first thought was barrel lad, which confused the goose out of me. But no, no we didnt. That reminds me of the other night when a friend and I were talking about how it would be cool to be a drifting expert and drive around town drifting every corner. We then decided that until we were experts it would be too dangerous. To prove our point, at the intersection next to us a guy tried to drift the corner and had another car drive straight in to the side of his. It was the best timed accident i've seen.


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