"Fighting not good. Somebody always gets hurt." -Mr. Miagi
Here's a fact of life: It doesn't matter how right you are. If someone can physically beat you, it makes them right. Violence is a very effective way to gain superiority. However, it should be a last resort. Story time:
A few years ago I was dating a girl with an emotionally abusive father. One night I was there and he became very confrontational and abusive with me, the mother, and the daughter. There was nothing I could do but stand there and take it. Logic and calm discussion were not going to work with this man, and he was a small step away from becoming physical. If he had resorted to violence, I wouldn't have been able to do anything. He was bigger and stronger than me and I had never been in a fight in my life.
That encounter is why I began taking martial arts. I never want to be in a situation where someone has power over me or my loved ones (or anyone, really) only because they will win a physical encounter.
That being said, violence is appropriate at times. But if the fight involves meeting at some prearranged location (and it's not sport-based), that is not one of those times. If you "win", you have not discouraged the guy. All you have done is encouraged him to get payback and you've opened yourself up to potential legal issues. People can get killed accidentally.
If you lose, you've given him a free pass to harass you as much as he wants and you're hurt/crippled/dead.
Violence is appropriate in three instances:
1. It is forced upon you. This is called "self-defense".
2. It is forced upon a friend, loved one, or innocent. This is called "defense of others".
3. When violence is the only thing a person will understand and all other avenues have been exhausted.
#3 is the tricky one. Let's just say it should be more rare than 1 & 2.
My Uncivilized God wrote:He says he wants to fight, and he showed up at my place of employment yesterday, screaming at me from a car. I told him I was on the clock, and I wasn't going to fight him while I was supposed to be working. So he told me (I'm quoting) "go clock out, motherfucker, so I can kick your ass."
The fact that the next words you wrote were not, "So I called the police," reinforces the second word in your username.
Isaac Asimov wrote:Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.