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How to stop falling?

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 4:58 am UTC
by GMThomas
No, I'm not clumsy :P

I want to know... how do I stop getting terribly attracted to girls I know?

I've been talking to this girl for awhile and more and more I find myself liking her... and she now constantly invades my thoughts. I want to stop this before it gets too far... before the rejection totally kills me. What do I do? How do I stop liking her so much?

And why does this happen to so many people?

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 5:04 am UTC
by SecondTalon
Stop talking to her.

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 5:05 am UTC
by GMThomas
But then I won't have any friends :(

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 5:07 am UTC
by Aleril
Am I the only one who thought someone was in free fall with a laptop and wanted to know how to stop?

Hmm... well try to get over the paranoia. Remember, don't get caught in HRP.

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 5:07 am UTC
by GMThomas
What does HRP stand for?

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 5:08 am UTC
by Master Gunner
You're choices really boil down to these extremes: No friends for a short period of time, vs major liver failure.
Of course, your results may differ, I still suggest you bail out now though, I have yet to see it end well.

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 5:10 am UTC
by GMThomas
How would major liver failure occur?

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 5:14 am UTC
by DaMullet
GMThomas wrote:How would major liver failure occur?


It generally starts with a decline in function, jaundice, improper filtration, etc., followed by ceasing function altogether. In rare cases the first step may be omitted, such as in an emergency liver removal as seen in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life.

Aleril wrote:Am I the only one who thought someone was in free fall with a laptop and wanted to know how to stop?

Hmm... well try to get over the paranoia. Remember, don't get caught in HRP.

I, too, thought he meant free-fall, though I was inclined toward the dream-type, where if you hit bottom you die.

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 5:19 am UTC
by Gelsamel
Why does this just sound like someone asking for attention by creating a solutionless situation?

-"Don't talk to her"
-"But then I won't have friends"

-"Do this"
-"But then this"

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 5:23 am UTC
by SecondTalon
Well, the other option is to get a girlfriend. That's not her.

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 5:28 am UTC
by GMThomas
Why does this just sound like someone asking for attention by creating a solutionless situation?


In the past some people have provided some amazing insights to my problems, so I was hoping someone would come up with one here.

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 5:40 am UTC
by Oort
Aleril wrote: Remember, don't get caught in HRP.


Horseradish peroxidase enzyme? Human Rights Party?

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 6:06 am UTC
by Xeio
Aleril wrote:Am I the only one who thought someone was in free fall with a laptop and wanted to know how to stop?


You know, thats what I thought. Maybe we should hijack this badly worded thread!

I was reading an article on a guy that managed to survive falling off a skyscraper the other day (his parter was sadly impaled on a fence, severing his torso, bad luck there). Something about clinging to whatever you can to increase wind resistance.

Also, I wonder what kind of internet connection you would need to ask such a question while in freefall (presumable with time to hear a reply).

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 6:31 am UTC
by Sissi
HRP = Hormone Relief Party

You can't stop that train. I've always found that if I happen to have interest in a person, it won't go away unless there's something I find out a quality I don't care for or if I just wake up one day and decide I don't care for them any more.

The only rejection that can totally and literally kill you in the rejection of your new liver by your body. It seems to me as if you're desperate for friends and/or love; such a desperation is not healthy, and is a talltale signal of a throng of various mental disorders, including, but not limited to, asphyxiation, sleep paralysis, internal bleeding, paranoia, dreaming of Yogi swinging a bungholl bat, twisting your eyes out of their homes, 67 dreams of a technicolour mother giving birth to you, depression, immoral thoughts, illegal thoughts, and finding the truth that the teenage mutant turtle is in a relation with a useless hue. Results are atypical and not to be interperated without the presence of a Jewish princess on the room.

Of course, you could do the manly thing and pray to God for clarity of your feelings.

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 6:31 am UTC
by UmbralRaptor
Oort wrote:
Aleril wrote: Remember, don't get caught in HRP.


Horseradish peroxidase enzyme? Human Rights Party?

Happy Relationship Paranoia (probably).

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 6:51 am UTC
by Miles Invictus
GMThomas wrote:I want to know... how do I stop getting terribly attracted to girls I know?

I've been talking to this girl for awhile and more and more I find myself liking her... and she now constantly invades my thoughts. I want to stop this before it gets too far... before the rejection totally kills me. What do I do? How do I stop liking her so much?

And why does this happen to so many people?


...

You could try bottling up your feelings and denying any interest in her at all, causing all future interaction with her to be seen through the lens of unrequited love, straining your friendship to the breaking point, and causing you lie awake at night wondering what it's like to die alone.

Look, is there something that prevents you from telling her this?

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 7:10 am UTC
by GMThomas
Miles Invictus wrote:
GMThomas wrote:I want to know... how do I stop getting terribly attracted to girls I know?

I've been talking to this girl for awhile and more and more I find myself liking her... and she now constantly invades my thoughts. I want to stop this before it gets too far... before the rejection totally kills me. What do I do? How do I stop liking her so much?

And why does this happen to so many people?


...

You could try bottling up your feelings and denying any interest in her at all, causing all future interaction with her to be seen through the lens of unrequited love, straining your friendship to the breaking point, and causing you lie awake at night wondering what it's like to die alone.

Look, is there something that prevents you from telling her this?


Experience.

This has happened with many, many people. I tell them my feelings, and then bad stuff happens.

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 7:22 am UTC
by zten
GMThomas wrote:
Miles Invictus wrote:...

You could try bottling up your feelings and denying any interest in her at all, causing all future interaction with her to be seen through the lens of unrequited love, straining your friendship to the breaking point, and causing you lie awake at night wondering what it's like to die alone.

Look, is there something that prevents you from telling her this?


Experience.

This has happened with many, many people. I tell them my feelings, and then bad stuff happens.


What makes you think waiting will make it better?

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 7:28 am UTC
by GMThomas
What makes you think waiting will make it better?


Cause I've known her for an entire two days. :oops:

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 7:45 am UTC
by Miles Invictus
You've only known her for two days?

Okay, yeah, a heartfelt "we are star-crossed lovers" speech is probably a bad idea, even if it is the week after Valentine's Day. Still, ask her out. You've got nothing to lose but your pride...and you're asking the internet for love advice, if you catch my meaning.

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 7:47 am UTC
by zten
GMThomas wrote:
What makes you think waiting will make it better?


Cause I've known her for an entire two days. :oops:


You're going to have to show some interest at some point if you want to actually make your fantasies something resembling a reality. See if she wants to do things with you alone and not with a group. That's something reasonable to ask after a couple days, isn't it? You don't need to pour your heart out yet -- save that until you've figured out if she's actually interested in you. Better yet, save that for a long while down the road.

Just make sure she's off the pedestal before you move forward, please.

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 9:00 am UTC
by xooll
zten wrote:
GMThomas wrote:
What makes you think waiting will make it better?


Cause I've known her for an entire two days. :oops:


You're going to have to show some interest at some point if you want to actually make your fantasies something resembling a reality. See if she wants to do things with you alone and not with a group. That's something reasonable to ask after a couple days, isn't it? You don't need to pour your heart out yet -- save that until you've figured out if she's actually interested in you. Better yet, save that for a long while down the road.

Just make sure she's off the pedestal before you move forward, please.

yep, that's what you do. keep hanging out. don't try to put her in one category or another, don't worry about being attracted to her--no sense denying it, but it can wait until you've actually gotten to know the girl.

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 8:04 pm UTC
by GMThomas
Okay guys, thanks. Your advice will be used.

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 5:18 am UTC
by '; DROP DATABASE;--
I found myself in a situation like this once, and I basically just decided to ask her out but expect her to say no. She did, but I wasn't crushed because I didn't get my hopes up. Worked out nicely.

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 12:12 pm UTC
by ThorFluff
Drop Database has a good point. ACT on your amorous inpulses! Ask her out straight away! see what happens :P

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 12:19 pm UTC
by SpitValve
How to stop falling?


Hit the ground.

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 3:10 pm UTC
by Zohar
I fell for a very close friend of mine. I didn't tell him about it but he asked me (if I had a crush). When he said he wasn't interested, my own interest kind of faded. And now we still remain best friends.

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 8:55 pm UTC
by GMThomas
Hm, one time this girl knew I liked her and she told me to ask her out... So I did, and she said no. :roll:

But yeah, I never get my hopes up. Cause if they say yes, then it's a pleasant surprise! If not, well, you were expecting it.

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 4:30 am UTC
by hipp5
http://www.laddertheory.com

Read the theory, lurk on the forums. It'll make you hate women for a while which will solve your immediate problem. Then you'll move on to objectifying women and will spend some time playing as many women as possible. Then you'll hopefully get past that, understand what women are really about (as best as a man can) and be genuinely happy.

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 4:40 am UTC
by Vandole
Oh, the ladder theory. I remember the guy who went around posting that here. Funny stuff.

But seriously, just get comfortable around her and ask. If she says no, it's awkward for a while. If she says yes, then sweet. The main thing you have to realize is that paralysis lasts forever, but rejection is fleeting. (And I'm a complete hypocrite for saying that, since I never act on that principle when I need to)

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 4:45 am UTC
by Pandercolour
I think the easiest way to stop it is to stop it.

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 7:35 am UTC
by Dark Ragnarok
It feels illogical to ask how to stop falling in either context.

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 8:10 am UTC
by aleflamedyud
GMThomas wrote:
What makes you think waiting will make it better?


Cause I've known her for an entire two days. :oops:

Two days and you like her? Then there's absolutely no issue about transferring from friendship to an amorous relationship. You might say that the relationship stem cells have not yet specialized into "friendship" cells or "romance" cells, so ask her out while you still have the chance to make things be how you want them to be.

Trust me, paralysis blows. There's only one thing worse than love paralysis about a girl whose feelings for you you don't know.

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 2:28 pm UTC
by ParanoidDrone
What does it say about me if my first reaction to the title was "Well, first you have to miss the ground..."?

On a (slightly) serious note, I can't really offer romantic advice (mostly because I've never been involved with romance before), but I really don't see what the big deal is. You meet girl, you like girl, 2+2=? (Hint: It's an integer greater than 3 and less than 5) Worst thing that could happen is that it doesn't really go anywhere, which I guess is a valid concern, but it's not like you'll be the only person in the world to have had a failed relationship. (Not that I'm saying it's doomed to failure, but you get the point.)

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 2:30 pm UTC
by El Senor Fruit Swing
Blind fold!
Or do like the Communists do! Make them fall for you with suave hair, sleek looks, and of-course a Dangerous smile! *with a capital D*!

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 11:36 pm UTC
by GMThomas
Probably should've asked her before she left for Texas for two weeks -_-

But, I have some good news guys. I've been talking to her like every day for like 6 hours a day, and she set her status to this: "***** is enjoying talking to a certain person on a daily basis." Now that may not be me, but it probably is. Although, I'm always wrong. But I guess she enjoys talking to me, because I was getting worried that I was annoying her. (I was messing around with some weird MSN tools and one of them told me she had deleted me off her contacts list)

Oh, man, sorry guys. This is what blogs are for. Not fora.

*leaves* >_>

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 1:16 am UTC
by zten
Part of me interprets it as this: she has at least some interest in you (whether it be as a friend or otherwise...) because she isn't avoiding you and is holding 6hr conversations with you. Beware: she may simply be viewing it as casual flirtation.

Weird MSN tools? Doesn't every client by default tell you if you're on the other person's list? If you're really off it, maybe you're not picking up on the "hint." Follow-up to this: Did she really go to Texas? :D Possible scenario in the near future: you successfully get her to add you on Facebook, and her profile reads "in a relationship" with some dude in Argentina.

Sorry, I shouldn't be inspiring you with fear, uncertainty, and doubt; I'm sure you already have enough on your mind.

(BTW, don't camp her on MSN after the 2 weeks is up.)

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 1:24 am UTC
by GMThomas
Beware: she may simply be viewing it as casual flirtation.

My fears exactly.

Weird MSN tools? Doesn't every client by default tell you if you're on the other person's list?

Don't think so. Atleast, not trillian or MSN messenger. Either way, I think it's wrong, because she IM'm me on it occasionally. (We mostly use Skype)

Possible scenario in the near future: you successfully get her to add you on Facebook, and her profile reads "in a relationship" with some dude in Argentina.

Actually, the first place I ever talked to her was on Facebook :). So no surprises.

(BTW, don't camp her on MSN after the 2 weeks is up.)

Camp?

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 1:57 am UTC
by nesquik
If she enjoys talking to you, it's one of two things:

1) It's a girl scheme to get you to ask her out.
2) It's a girl scheme to be evil and pretend interest, and then deny you later.

I'm guessing that it's probably #1.

I mean, you've said you've known her for about a week now, right? If you ask her and she says no, then just continue to know her and be friends. You've really got nothing to lose.

Re: How to stop falling?

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 2:21 am UTC
by zten
Camping in this context would mean waiting for her to log on the minute she's online after returning from the trip and sending her a messaage. For some reason, if you were to do that, it'd strike me as a bit.... desperate? I don't know. I'd feel like, by doing that, I'd be saying that I had nothing better to do for the past two weeks but anticipate your arrival. Might not be such a big deal for married couples in their 60s, but for someone who isn't even in a relationship, it might be showing a bit too much "devotion."

Then again, I'm overanalyzing this, which usually leads to disaster.