Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

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Verysillyman
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby Verysillyman » Tue Apr 22, 2008 6:14 pm UTC

Forgive me fora-father, for[a] I have sinned. It has been a long time since my last confession.

Tonight, I planned to stay up all night and finish my assignments that I'm meant to have done in order to go on to second year of my fashion course next week, but ended up buying alcohol for underage girls and sexing up a boy on the roof of his school. There might have been security cameras.

And now, with three hours until class time, I'm still not doing any work.

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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby SecondTalon » Tue Apr 22, 2008 6:36 pm UTC

Smile! You're giving the security guard something to wank to and deny wanking to later!
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby Verysillyman » Tue Apr 22, 2008 6:39 pm UTC

Hell yes! It was fucking freezing out there though, we avoided the roof we wanted to go to because there was too much ice to safely get there. I am glad to get to cross that one off my list, but I still feel that i should have done a lot more work.

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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby ZeroSum » Tue Apr 22, 2008 6:42 pm UTC

What school is this?

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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby Verysillyman » Tue Apr 22, 2008 6:50 pm UTC

A major one. I think I've already said too much...

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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby The Mighty Thesaurus » Tue Apr 22, 2008 6:53 pm UTC

ZeroSum wrote:What school is this?


Want to wank to the tapes, too?
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby Yuri2356 » Tue Apr 22, 2008 7:38 pm UTC

The Mighty Thesaurus wrote:
ZeroSum wrote:What school is this?


Want to wank to the tapes, too?

Who wouldn't?

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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby benjhuey » Tue Apr 22, 2008 9:06 pm UTC

Confession: My senior prom is in a little more than a week. I still haven't decided whether or not to go and/or who to go with.
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby Fat Tony » Tue Apr 22, 2008 9:14 pm UTC

Ask the hottest chick in the school; it doesn't matter if she rejects you, because at least you did it, which is more than most people (usually =D).
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby Jessica » Tue Apr 22, 2008 9:22 pm UTC

Benj, you should go.
Do you have any girl friends? Ask any of them.
Or go stag.
Or if you have friends who are older/younger/go to other schools, bring them.

You don't have to be dating to bring them. Just bring them as a friend.

The only thing I regret about my Prom was that I couldn't wear a dress (wasn't out to people). I don't even regret going with my ex.
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby benjhuey » Wed Apr 23, 2008 12:48 am UTC

@Fat Tony: All the hot chicks I would have asked are already taken (seriously, they planned that shit way in advanced).

@Gharbad: I have girl friends, I'm just being lazy. Plus, there are several who I would take, but don't know which to ask (all of them couldn't hurt).

Basically, all the other dances I've gone to have been stag, and I wasn't all that impressed with them. These things just don't concern me.
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby Fossa » Wed Apr 23, 2008 1:38 am UTC

Confession: I don't feel the same way she does, I told her this, she doesn't seem to care. I do, but I don't have the heart to break hers and end it. She's happy, at least for now, and even if everything that happens in the 53 days before I leave is insincere I don't think I have it in me to take it, to take myself, from her.

All of this is vaguely confused by my regrets from having been on the other side of this particular coin a few times before. Maybe that's why I can't get the other two off my mind these past few weeks...

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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby Fat Tony » Wed Apr 23, 2008 2:03 am UTC

Fossa wrote:Confession: I don't feel the same way she does, I told her this, she doesn't seem to care. I do, but I don't have the heart to break hers and end it. She's happy, at least for now, and even if everything that happens in the 53 days before I leave is insincere I don't think I have it in me to take it, to take myself, from her.

All of this is vaguely confused by my regrets from having been on the other side of this particular coin a few times before. Maybe that's why I can't get the other two off my mind these past few weeks...

Maybe you could have Mr. Munroe give you a few tips.
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby Quixotess » Wed Apr 23, 2008 3:22 am UTC

Sigh...long post coming up.

Confession: I lost my paycheck.
Confession: I've lost it before, once just last month. Here is the story of what happened the first time:

It takes me a while to get to the bank, because I have school, play practice, and work, and also no transportation other than my feet. My mom's been after me to get direct deposit ever since I started work one and a half years ago. So I was holding onto the check for a week before my mom finally insisted that I go. I looked where I thought it was. It wasn't there. I ransacked my room. I overturned the house looking for that bastard. I couldn't find it. I waited for my mom to come home from work--I knew she would blow up. She entered the house.

Mom: Did you deposit your check?
Me: No.
Mom (abrupt change in tone, pissed): Why not? I told you to do that today.
Me: I lost it. I can't find it anywhere. I'm sorry.
Mom (YELLING the entire time): You WHAT? I KNEW this would happen. I told you to get direct deposit. How could you do this to me? Shame on you! How could you lose such an important thing as that? You never listen to me. You are a defiant, willful, sloppy girl, and you're not as smart as you think you are. Do you want to end up like your sister? You. Are. A. Bad. Child. I've told you before but it never seems to sink in. You will find your check. You're not allowed to do anything until you have. You're not allowed to eat. Don't even come in the kitchen. I don't care if it takes five days, you won't be eating anything. (and on and on and on.)

I went downstairs like I was going to look for the check there. I took my cellphone, my wallet, a jacket, and a book and left the house. I headed for the grocery store where I work. I spent some time crying, then called my older sister and cried at her some. Then after about an hour I called my mother.

Me: It's me.
Mom: Did you get your check?
Me: ...What?
Mom: Did you get your check?
Me: No...I've lost it. Aren't you wondering where I am?
Mom: I don't know what to do with you anymore.
Me: Why did you say I couldn't eat?
Mom: I was angry.
Me: Okay, can you apologize?
Mom: No.
She hung up on me.

I spent about another hour sobbing in the break room before she called me back with "Okay, you can eat. Just come home. Do you want me to pick you up?" I mentioned therapy, and she said something like "Maybe we can pay for it when you find your paycheck. You need to take responsibility for yourself before you get the things you want. It's not all about your needs."

I ended up walking home. I got my work to put a stop payment on the check and issue me a new one. She was still really angry. I'm working on switching to direct deposit but only got the paperwork in last week.

Yesterday, I realized that I had lost my last paycheck. I lied to my mom and told her that I was going to the bank to deposit it. I can't take her special brand of lecture anymore--I can't hear again what a worthless person I am. I went to work and told them that I lost it, but they're kind of annoyed with me now and haven't issued me a new one yet.

Two hours ago she called me at work to tell me that the check didn't go through, and do I know anything about that? I told her no. She's decided that they must have written the account number wrong. Brief reprieve. I don't know what to do. Maybe I need to borrow money from someone.

Bonus Confession: I got my midterm grades today, and I have one of everything. Not in alphabetical order, alas.
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby jacobraccuia » Wed Apr 23, 2008 3:28 am UTC

Awwwww.

Does your mom spend your pay check for herself?

it's yours, isn't it?

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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby Quixotess » Wed Apr 23, 2008 3:37 am UTC

No, she doesn't spend it. She has access to my accounts because I'm her dependent.

I don't really know why she takes these things so personally, but she does. Sometimes it seems like she sees us four kids as extensions of herself--she always gets really mad when we disagree with her about something. Maybe she sees our mistakes as a reflection on herself, or maybe she wants to have everything under her control, or...I don't know.
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Wed Apr 23, 2008 4:03 am UTC

@Quixotess: That sounds, really, really harsh. :cry: *Hug*
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby Quixotess » Wed Apr 23, 2008 4:11 am UTC

Thanks. I... just feel so messed up sometimes, you know? Like, I know parents and teenagers fight, but is this a normal level of conflict, or am I right in thinking that something's wrong?

I just got my tax refund from the IRS. Does anyone know--when I deposit it, will it say who it's from? As in, if I deposit it tomorrow, and my mom looks up my statement online, will it just say "Deposit of $143" or "Deposit of $143 from the IRS"?
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby benjhuey » Wed Apr 23, 2008 4:17 am UTC

Quixotess wrote:Thanks. I... just feel so messed up sometimes, you know? Like, I know parents and teenagers fight, but is this a normal level of conflict, or am I right in thinking that something's wrong?

My sister gets into the same kind of disputes with my mother, so I don't find it particularly out of the ordinary.
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Wed Apr 23, 2008 4:22 am UTC

@Quixotess: However, I think it is somewhat to the extreme. It shouldn't be that people belittle and hurt each other so. And, I have no idea about money, whatsoever.
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby H.E.L.e.N. » Wed Apr 23, 2008 4:29 am UTC

My non-expert opinion says you mom's the one who needs therapy.

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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby michaelandjimi » Wed Apr 23, 2008 4:36 am UTC

Quixotess wrote:I just got my tax refund from the IRS. Does anyone know--when I deposit it, will it say who it's from? As in, if I deposit it tomorrow, and my mom looks up my statement online, will it just say "Deposit of $143" or "Deposit of $143 from the IRS"?

Whenever I get my bank stuff in the mail it says where the individual deposits and withdrawals occurred at. Never having cashed a cheque, I don't know whether it would say who it was from, but I imagine it would.

As I said before, don't trust me on this.
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby Quixotess » Wed Apr 23, 2008 4:40 am UTC

@ Helen: Yeah. She definitely has...issues. She used to hit us a little, although she stopped after my older sister left home four years ago. But now I'm pretty sure I need therapy too. That's one of the reasons I'm looking forward to college; I understand they offer that for free on campus. That was my sister's experience anyway.

@Michaelandjimi: Fuck.

And thanks, y'all. I wasn't sure anyone would be able to make it all the way through that post, haha.
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby PictureSarah » Wed Apr 23, 2008 4:41 am UTC

If you cash the check first and deposit the cash, it won't show up that it's from the IRS (obviously). If you just cash a check from the IRS, it will show up as being from the IRS.
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby aeki » Wed Apr 23, 2008 5:17 am UTC

Quixotess wrote:Thanks. I... just feel so messed up sometimes, you know? Like, I know parents and teenagers fight, but is this a normal level of conflict, or am I right in thinking that something's wrong?


I have no idea what levels of conflict are normal or not, but that relationship doesn't sound healthy, not if your mother's constantly directing personal attacks about your self-worth for trivial mistakes and attempting to control your food intake when she can't control your behavior. How much longer are you going to be her dependent?

As far as checking accounts go, I can't remember exactly what the rules are for minors, but I think once you're 18 you should be able to open your own account as long as you have ID and enough money to start with, dependent or not. I have no idea if that's a feasible solution for you, but it seems like the best thing to do in regards to your mother is limit the amount of control she has over you and your personal information.

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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby Quixotess » Wed Apr 23, 2008 6:04 am UTC

Honestly, I have wondered sometimes whether she might confiscate my money if I piss her off badly enough. Bit intimidating, really. We have really good periods occasionally, but you can't predict when it'll change, what'll set her off is different from one moment to the next.

I turn 18 on July 7th, and college term starts on September 20th.

Confession: I think my birthday is better than everyone else's birthday, excepting maybe some current 7 or 8 year olds.. I turned 17 on 07-07-07. For my next trick, I will turn 27 on 07-07-17.
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby michaelandjimi » Wed Apr 23, 2008 6:08 am UTC

My brother's birthday this year is 20/08/2008. I thought that was pretty awesome.
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby Breech » Wed Apr 23, 2008 7:40 am UTC

This is my first confession actually so..ok, here goes nothing!
I always feel like I'm not good enough for my boyfriend, which is, ofcoure, utter poppycock. I know I'm good enough, because I'm very very (and I mean very) nice and thoughtful (honestly) and I might say I'm quite goodlooking as well, yet I always feel like I have to try harder and change into Jessica Simpson for him to like me. Well, not Jessica Simpson, but maybe Scarlett Johansson.
I've known him for about 2 years now, and before we were actually dating we slept together a couple of times, and he'd tell me about everything that was wrong with me. Like how my hair wasn't blond enough and my breasts weren't big enough and how fat I was (and I swear, I wasn't really that fat). He probably didn't realise that I really liked him (I know that's pathetic thank you) and I don't think he understands how much he's hurt me.
Anyways, I decided maybe it was best if we didn't see eachother again bacause I really couldn't stand being around him, so I moved out of town and developed a sort of eatingdisorderthingy, went into therapy, and when we accidentally met again I looked completely different and he quite liked it. I quite liked him as well, and I naively forgot about everything he'd said (again, I know it's pathetic).
So, now we're living together and we're getting along just fine. He tells me how pretty I am, and how much he loves me, and I just keep trying to please him, even though I know I shouldn't have to. But other than that I'm very happy, really. And I didn't mean to whine.
Meh.

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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby Quixotess » Wed Apr 23, 2008 8:21 am UTC

Erm...if you "really were that fat" would that be such a bad thing?

It sounds like you're pretty fragile. I hope you stay recovered from your eating disorder. Your boyfriend doesn't sound like he's very supportive, which is too bad--don't you think you deserve better than that? It's just a little distressing that you would refer to not being blonde, thin, or in possession of large boobs as things that are wrong with you. Still, if you're happy, then you're happy I suppose.
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby Breech » Wed Apr 23, 2008 8:43 am UTC

Not being blonde, thin and in possession of large boobs are things that are/were wrong with me in his opinion, not mine. As I said, I think I'm pretty goodlooking, large boobs or not.
And I do actually think I deserve better, but I just can't seem to confront him with his behaviour for some reason. I try, but i always chicken out. Usually it goes something like
-"Hey, I wan't to talk to you about something.."
-"Sure, what's up?"
-"Well, sometimes you say things.. you know.. I don't know.. what do you want to have for dinner?"

So.. but it's not like he's not a nice guy, because he really is. He's just somewhat of an antisocial dork, and I'm sure he's not doing it on purpose
Meh.

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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby H.E.L.e.N. » Wed Apr 23, 2008 8:53 am UTC

[I'm just an internet stranger. BUT] I'm reading all this as excuses for a situation where you know you deserve better.

You don't have to rationalize around the what happened. It was not a good situation. You're allowed to say so.

I want you to be OK. I want you to be able to do what it takes for you, personally, to actually be OK.
Last edited by H.E.L.e.N. on Wed Apr 23, 2008 8:56 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby michaelandjimi » Wed Apr 23, 2008 8:56 am UTC

I am quite fantastically confused about what the actual problem is. I don't mean to seem like a mean-bag, but I'm serious.

You start off by saying that you don't think that you are good enough for him. This is a perfectly valid problem. However, later on, you say that you know you are too good for him and deserve better.

The second problem stated was that he always insulted you. Also perfectly valid. But, later on, you say that he often remarks on how pretty you are and how much he loves you. So that isn't a problem either. Which begs the question, Why are you still trying to confront the behaviour that has finished?

The last is that he is an antisocial dork. Not entirely sure why that is a problem, if otherwise he makes you really, really happy. But, if he is a problem, dump him. It's better that you hurt him now rather than he drags you down for a long time.

I feel like I've missed something somewhere, but I'm sure I'll find out.

To reiterate, curious, not antagonistic.
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby H.E.L.e.N. » Wed Apr 23, 2008 8:58 am UTC

michaelandjimi wrote:The second problem stated was that he always insulted you. Also perfectly valid. But, later on, you say that he often remarks on how pretty you are and how much he loves you. So that isn't a problem either. Which begs the question, Why are you still trying to confront the behaviour that has finished?


I'm reading it as an issue where all the praise is based on her looks. If she's not pretty by his standards, she's not worthwhile. That's not a good place to be. (That's how I'm reading it. I could be wrong.)

aaand michaelandjimi, compliments don't erase or cancel out insults (esp. depending on the severity of the insult). people can do both. sometimes very close together.
Last edited by H.E.L.e.N. on Wed Apr 23, 2008 9:24 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby cypherspace » Wed Apr 23, 2008 9:08 am UTC

michaelandjimi wrote:The second problem stated was that he always insulted you. Also perfectly valid. But, later on, you say that he often remarks on how pretty you are and how much he loves you. So that isn't a problem either. Which begs the question, Why are you still trying to confront the behaviour that has finished?

Firstly, he only remarks on how pretty she is now, after his previous comments caused her to hate the way she looked and change because of those comments. Which is pretty despicable in my book.

Secondly, it seems to me that the previous behaviour caused a hell of a lot of insecurity, which hasn't gone away. Confronting it is something she feels she needs to do to try to address her self-esteem issues.
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby Breech » Wed Apr 23, 2008 9:09 am UTC

The problem is that I'm torn between feeling like I should tell him how I feel about what he did and maybe get a little angry with him because I think it would bother me a whole lot less if I could get it off my chest, and still feeling like I'm not good enough because he said so when we first met.
Him being an antisocial dork is not a problem. I guess it was more like an explaination/excuse for the things he sometimes does. He's just not very socially skilled, let's put it that way.

And what cypherspace wrote. He/she seems better at explaining the issue
Meh.

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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby cypherspace » Wed Apr 23, 2008 9:22 am UTC

I think you're certainly in a difficult situation. But if he's really as nice as you say, once you tell him he should be horrified at the way his behaviour made you feel.

If he's not, then you definitely do deserve better.
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby michaelandjimi » Wed Apr 23, 2008 9:29 am UTC

Thanks for clearing that up. I was a bit thrown out by the:

Breech wrote:but I just can't seem to confront him with his behaviour for some reason. I try, but i always chicken out. Usually it goes something like
-"Hey, I wan't to talk to you about something.."
-"Sure, what's up?"
-"Well, sometimes you say things.. you know.. I don't know.. what do you want to have for dinner?"

Which made it seem to me like it was still an issue.

In short, I'm a fool who should have better empathy for other people.
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby aeki » Wed Apr 23, 2008 2:43 pm UTC

Quixotess wrote:Honestly, I have wondered sometimes whether she might confiscate my money if I piss her off badly enough. Bit intimidating, really. We have really good periods occasionally, but you can't predict when it'll change, what'll set her off is different from one moment to the next.

I turn 18 on July 7th, and college term starts on September 20th.

Yeah, she seems way too invested in your personal financial business, which sets off alarm bells in my head saying "get your money the fuck away from her" (if alarm bells could talk, anyway). Banks near colleges are used to setting up new accounts for college students, so there should be plenty of opportunities to get a separate account once you move on campus.

I don't know how normal this behavior is for her, but it could just be that she's freaking out over you leaving in a few months and she's desperately trying to convince herself that you still need her, or that she has to impart whatever Life Lessons to you before you go. Either way it's still seriously unhelpful to you right now.

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Toeofdoom
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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby Toeofdoom » Wed Apr 23, 2008 3:00 pm UTC

Quixotess wrote:No, she doesn't spend it. She has access to my accounts because I'm her dependent.

I don't really know why she takes these things so personally, but she does. Sometimes it seems like she sees us four kids as extensions of herself--she always gets really mad when we disagree with her about something. Maybe she sees our mistakes as a reflection on herself, or maybe she wants to have everything under her control, or...I don't know.


I remember one time I was meant to be at work fairly early, and I slept in by accident so I was going to be late. My mum started freaking out and being kinda like that, until I half shouted "It's not your problem! Stop it!"

That worked out rather well actually, I guess.
Hawknc wrote:Gotta love our political choices here - you can pick the unionised socially conservative party, or the free-market even more socially conservative party. Oh who to vote for…I don't know, I think I'll just flip a coin and hope it explodes and kills me.

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Re: Confessional Thread - A black hole of emu

Postby Delalyra » Wed Apr 23, 2008 3:13 pm UTC

Nutcase wrote:P.s I'm new AND from Holland, so don't expect me to write with incredible vocabulary. Which is kinda weird because the use of vocabulary on this fora actually made me want to join... It's like a a sign that there aren't any douche bags on the forum. Thumbs up for hard grammar and actual punctuation in posts!

Oohh, no, your grammar is lovely. Welcome to the fora!

aeki wrote:
Quixotess wrote:Honestly, I have wondered sometimes whether she might confiscate my money if I piss her off badly enough. Bit intimidating, really. We have really good periods occasionally, but you can't predict when it'll change, what'll set her off is different from one moment to the next.

I turn 18 on July 7th, and college term starts on September 20th.

Yeah, she seems way too invested in your personal financial business, which sets off alarm bells in my head saying "get your money the fuck away from her" (if alarm bells could talk, anyway). Banks near colleges are used to setting up new accounts for college students, so there should be plenty of opportunities to get a separate account once you move on campus.

This. (bolding mine) Get your own account that she can't view. I'm 18 and still have a dependent account, and my parents would never think of abusing it/me that way...there've been weeks where I haven't deposited paychecks (spent em :oops: ) and they've never said anything. Quixotess, you're responsible (everyone loses stuff, and paychecks are little slips of paper; you've learned from your mistake already)...get your own account and when your mom asks, tell her you have, in fact, deposited it, and because you're 18, there's no need for her to see it.

Edit: Ah, here's a confession: Sometimes I make myself cry because the emotional release feels wonderful.
you may remember me from 2008 or 2009. I left for a while. I'm now sporadically back. I tumble here.


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