Confessional Shed - I'll keep a look-out

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

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Zohar
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Postby Zohar » Mon Jul 16, 2007 11:01 am UTC

Confession: I was writing a confession right now but I'm so ashamed of it I erased it and wrote this instead. Didn't hurt anyone but I'm not proud of myself. Even less so since it worked out in the end.
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Mairead
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Postby Mairead » Mon Jul 16, 2007 3:31 pm UTC

Confession: I wish I had a confession to post here.

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Kawa
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Postby Kawa » Mon Jul 16, 2007 3:32 pm UTC

Confession: I feel this inherent need to defend my boyfriend's views, on a point I really don't agree with him on, and take percieved attacks (real or imagined) on his view as attacks on me, even though I shouldn't. I'm starting to feel really emotionally exhausted after defending them and trying to understand them.

Confession: I now feel really guilty for bringing up his views on the fora, even though I feel like it was something that needed to be said.
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Akira
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Postby Akira » Mon Jul 16, 2007 3:59 pm UTC

Confession: When I worry, I drown myself in distraction. Like last night when I was worried about our cat going to the vet, I watched Michael Jackson videos all evening.

Confession: The vet said it was probably a uterine infection, and that it's fixable, but I'm still really worried. Thus: more MJ videos <_<
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Jauss
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Postby Jauss » Tue Jul 17, 2007 1:14 am UTC

Akira wrote:Confession: When I worry, I drown myself in distraction. Like last night when I was worried about our cat going to the vet, I watched Michael Jackson videos all evening.


Distraction is my coping mechanism too. Getting drunk and high or punching people or random hook-ups when I'm depressed/angry/stressed/afraid? Nah. Bring on the movies, books, and music!
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Kawa
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Postby Kawa » Tue Jul 17, 2007 1:17 am UTC

Distraction was my coping mechanism for dealing with the ending of relationships. The Asian student organization in my high school had its festival within a month after the hardest breakup I had to deal with. I was very grateful for that. That, and DDR helped me a whole lot.

Confession: Rambling about my boyfriend on the fora is my way of dealing with the fact that he's really far away right now. It needs to be August 18, and soon.
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mrguy753
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Postby mrguy753 » Tue Jul 17, 2007 1:19 am UTC

I let myself get a really big crush on a straight friend... for about the bajillionth time. I really need to stop. Or find some other gays. It makes things so awkward, especially because they never know. And then they don't realize that when they accidently lay their leg on yours, they're only exascerbating the problem they don't know exists. Damn you, limiting effects of being a closeted homosexual! DAMN YOU!
I sing anyway.

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chrispy1
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Postby chrispy1 » Tue Jul 17, 2007 1:22 am UTC

**hugs mrguy for having to deal with closted gayness**

as in the Girls thread, I have a lot I want to say but don't as I don't want to sound cheesy/hokey/whatever. so I'll say nothing.

ETA: something, but then I changed my mind.
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b)obsessed with penii, I just have bad luck and they follow me everywh...

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mrguy753
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Postby mrguy753 » Tue Jul 17, 2007 1:28 am UTC

Awwww... thanks for the hug. Actually, the closet is slowly dissolving away. It's a long, semi-complicated story to explain, but all in all it's getting better. Except for my apparent "thing" for straight guys. Damn them and their depressing appeal!

Also, Confession: Sometimes, I fantasize about what it would be like if one of my friends died. Not like I WANT it to happen, but just "what if?" What would I say? How would I react? Would i speak at the funeral? It's morbid, but I do it fairly often. Family members, too. I don't think I'm messed up for doing it, but the real crazies never do.
I sing anyway.

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Kawa
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Postby Kawa » Tue Jul 17, 2007 1:30 am UTC

Confession: Sometimes, I dream about what my funeral will be like.

*gives mrguy a hug too* I hope you find your joy. I think that's all I can hope for anyone.
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chrispy1
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Postby chrispy1 » Tue Jul 17, 2007 1:32 am UTC

Confession: I think of the people that would come to my funeral, and I come up with a very small list. And that saddens me.
Narsil wrote:For the record, I am not:
b)obsessed with penii, I just have bad luck and they follow me everywh...

SpitValve wrote:And as for Optimus being influenced by Buddhism, I severly doubt it.

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mrguy753
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Postby mrguy753 » Tue Jul 17, 2007 1:33 am UTC

chrispy1 wrote:Confession: I think of the people that would come to my funeral, and I come up with a very small list. And that saddens me.


Confession: me too
I sing anyway.

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GhostWolfe
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Postby GhostWolfe » Tue Jul 17, 2007 1:34 am UTC

mrguy753 wrote:Also, Confession: Sometimes, I fantasize about what it would be like if one of my friends died. Not like I WANT it to happen, but just "what if?" What would I say? How would I react? Would i speak at the funeral? It's morbid, but I do it fairly often. Family members, too. I don't think I'm messed up for doing it, but the real crazies never do.

I do that too. Then again, I know how messed up I can.

*hugs for what you confessed before*

Edit:Apart from family who would be obligated to come, only my BF would come to my funeral. :cry:
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mrguy753
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Postby mrguy753 » Tue Jul 17, 2007 1:39 am UTC

*jumps on the bandwagon and hugs himself*

Really, it's better today. But about a week ago, i was head over heels for this guy. I just let myself convince myself (grammar?) that they might be gay, then it gathers up like a snowball down a hill. Every sentence and action is parsed and analyzed for possible subtle hints at their gayness. But then, eventually i mentally (or physically) hit myself in the face and say "hey! stupid! they're straight! get over it!" and then it starts to get better.
I sing anyway.

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Akira
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Postby Akira » Tue Jul 17, 2007 2:10 am UTC

mrguy753 wrote:Also, Confession: Sometimes, I fantasize about what it would be like if one of my friends died. Not like I WANT it to happen, but just "what if?" What would I say? How would I react? Would i speak at the funeral? It's morbid, but I do it fairly often. Family members, too. I don't think I'm messed up for doing it, but the real crazies never do.


I don't wonder at death as much as morbid injury. Would I be able to sit in a room with them while they're bloodied, messed up, possibly an amputee, and make conversation? Or sit there while they sleep, wondering how they feel?
What if it was me? Would they make the trip to Michigan to see me? Would they send me serious or silly cards?

Confession: Last night, I was thinking about how my friends would take to Kaycee and Dominic, my new cats whom they've never met, to help distract me from the fact that we were taking Kaycee to the vet in the morning. Tonight, I'll be wondering if cats go to heaven, and if Kaycee was friends enough with Bitty to seek her out. I pray that it's true. I want her happy, at least.

Confession: ...and i'm crying again. Damnit.
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Drake Zure
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Postby Drake Zure » Tue Jul 17, 2007 2:19 am UTC

confession: i'm not really blonde.
benjhuey wrote:
IceMod wrote:The fingers did surprise me though.

That's what SHE said.
And then she left. I wonder why...

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TigerX
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Postby TigerX » Tue Jul 17, 2007 2:19 am UTC

mrguy753 wrote:I let myself get a really big crush on a straight friend... for about the bajillionth time. I really need to stop. Or find some other gays. It makes things so awkward, especially because they never know. And then they don't realize that when they accidently lay their leg on yours, they're only exascerbating the problem they don't know exists. Damn you, limiting effects of being a closeted homosexual! DAMN YOU!


While I don't really harbour much feeling for most of my straight friends, I understand your predicament all too well. There's one guy in particular who I wish would just come out to me so I could hold him for a while... *smile/sigh*

As one who doesn't prance his sexuality around in public, I have a hard time finding places in which to start relationships.

*hugs*

saxmaniac1987
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Postby saxmaniac1987 » Tue Jul 17, 2007 2:27 am UTC

Confession: It truly bothers me when I see pictures of friends from high school that I grew up with drinking and partying--even the ones that I never in a million years would have expected to do that.

Confession 2: I have exactly one close friend that I can talk to this about, as she agrees.

Confession 3: Being the odd person out is really taking its toll on me, but I'm not about to give up.

Confession 4: Because if I gave in, my life would spiral out of control
"A witty saying proves nothing" - Voltaire

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TigerX
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Postby TigerX » Tue Jul 17, 2007 2:29 am UTC

saxmaniac1987 wrote:Confession: It truly bothers me when I see pictures of friends from high school that I grew up with drinking and partying--even the ones that I never in a million years would have expected to do that.

Confession 2: I have exactly one close friend that I can talk to this about, as she agrees.

Confession 3: Being the odd person out is really taking its toll on me, but I'm not about to give up.

Confession 4: Because if I gave in, my life would spiral out of control


QFT! Amen, brother/sister as the case might be.

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Akira
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Postby Akira » Tue Jul 17, 2007 2:46 am UTC

TigerX wrote:
saxmaniac1987 wrote:Confession: It truly bothers me when I see pictures of friends from high school that I grew up with drinking and partying--even the ones that I never in a million years would have expected to do that.

Confession 2: I have exactly one close friend that I can talk to this about, as she agrees.

Confession 3: Being the odd person out is really taking its toll on me, but I'm not about to give up.

Confession 4: Because if I gave in, my life would spiral out of control


QFT! Amen, brother/sister as the case might be.

Doubly so. ...Not that I'm far out of high school myself, but I know that if, for one night, I went partying with the people i hung out with, and if I lost control for one second... I'd be done.

<_< Especially given the year I've been having. Damnation...
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saxmaniac1987
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Postby saxmaniac1987 » Tue Jul 17, 2007 2:56 am UTC

I'm only heading into my sophomore year of college. (Male, to clarify, TigerX)

Confession 5: I tell people that I don't drink because I'm an education major and if I get an underage, I can't get a teaching license. (Which is completely true)

Confession 6: The real reason is that I just have no desire to. It honestly does not interest me at all. And college kids have a really hard time accepting that.

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Xaith
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Postby Xaith » Tue Jul 17, 2007 2:59 am UTC

saxmaniac1987 wrote:Confession 6: The real reason is that I just have no desire to. It honestly does not interest me at all. And college kids have a really hard time accepting that.


This gets an "Amen!" from me. 8)

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Akira
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Postby Akira » Tue Jul 17, 2007 3:06 am UTC

I have no trouble telling people that I don't want to. My friends have learned to accept it, and don't offer anymore.
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TigerX
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Postby TigerX » Tue Jul 17, 2007 3:08 am UTC

Akira wrote:I have no trouble telling people that I don't want to. My friends have learned to accept it, and don't offer anymore.


Would you be annoyed if they always offered when they were serving?

I typically do so since it seems like the socially polite thing to do, even if I already know the answer.

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wing
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Postby wing » Tue Jul 17, 2007 3:25 am UTC

mrguy753 wrote:
chrispy1 wrote:Confession: I think of the people that would come to my funeral, and I come up with a very small list. And that saddens me.


Confession: me too
There'd be a whole 1 person there because they're my friend (and they'd be the person that came from the furthest away). Another 5 or 6 that are family. Another 10 or so because they went to school or worked with me, and that's what's expected of them. Another 50 or so because that's what people in my hometown do. They like to pretend the whole area is one big family, and show up uninvited to everybody's funeral. Especially if it's a kid. And then somehow the entirety of my old High School would hold a candlelight vigil because they're huge wankers, and only maybe 15 of them there ever MET me, and maybe 2 teachers are still the same from when I was there. Seriously. Some guy that graduated a few years ahead of me got killed in Afghanistan. NOBODY who's still there knew him. Didn't stop them from crying for the TV cameras like he was their best friend.
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Narsil
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Postby Narsil » Tue Jul 17, 2007 3:26 am UTC

mrguy753 wrote:Also, Confession: Sometimes, I fantasize about what it would be like if one of my friends died. Not like I WANT it to happen, but just "what if?" What would I say? How would I react? Would i speak at the funeral? It's morbid, but I do it fairly often. Family members, too. I don't think I'm messed up for doing it, but the real crazies never do.

I sometimes wonder about my own death. Yeah, it seems morbid, but I can't help it. Standing in the middle of the store, thinking how meaningless it would all be if someone robbed the store and I was killed. Or maybe if the plane crashed, would they say my name on the news? Would I be mourned?

I also compare my life to a book a lot, thinking sometimes "Well things are way too good right now, I would make sense if x happened to fuck things up." In my head, there is a greater power that runs the world like a bunch of intertwining books, and they're all tragedies. Everyone dies at the end. It's then only a matter for a immortal omnipotent being to keep himself entertained by stacking the dominoes as long as he can, knocking them over, and setting them back up.
Sometimes I want to be the first domino, or the last one, or the one that knocks over the most.
Spoiler:
EsotericWombat wrote:MORE JUNK THAN YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOR

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Oh... that.

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Vandole
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Postby Vandole » Tue Jul 17, 2007 3:27 am UTC

Confession: I may have made a girl cry today. In my defense, she was trying to get me to bring her to my house for the sole purpose of meeting my brother because a mutual friend is crazily lusting over him and she figured that he must be hot if said friend likes him so much, and also that he would be interested in her the moment he laid eyes on her. She seemed pretty hurt when I called her crazy.

That is a ridiculously long sentence. Note to self: Use periods.
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Kawa
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Postby Kawa » Tue Jul 17, 2007 3:40 am UTC

saxmaniac1987 wrote:Confession 6: The real reason is that I just have no desire to. It honestly does not interest me at all.


Again, quoted for truth. I know I hate the smell of alcohol, as well as the little taste of it I got at Confirmation. I do not drink. I will not drink. Simple as that. Luckily I have people around me who accept that as a fact of my life. Not so lucky when there's a elementary school reunion and I'm the only one not drinking.
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une see
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Postby une see » Tue Jul 17, 2007 3:43 am UTC

Kawa wrote:
saxmaniac1987 wrote:Confession 6: The real reason is that I just have no desire to. It honestly does not interest me at all.


Again, quoted for truth. I know I hate the smell of alcohol, as well as the little taste of it I got at Confirmation. I do not drink. I will not drink. Simple as that. Luckily I have people around me who accept that as a fact of my life. Not so lucky when there's a elementary school reunion and I'm the only one not drinking.


Elementary school reunion?? Such things exist?
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Kawa
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Postby Kawa » Tue Jul 17, 2007 3:46 am UTC

We set it up ourselves. It was supposed to be after high school but things fell through. We got the idea after finding each other on Facebook.

As the one person not inebriated, it wasn't very fun.
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Roun
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Postby Roun » Tue Jul 17, 2007 4:14 am UTC

Confession: I just realized that I can raise my right eyebrow, but not my left. Now my forehead feels uneven.

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TigerX
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Postby TigerX » Tue Jul 17, 2007 4:17 am UTC

Roun wrote:Confession: I just realized that I can raise my right eyebrow, but not my left. Now my forehead feels uneven.


I can raise just my left or both, but not just my right. It's always kind of annoyed me.

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Narsil
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Postby Narsil » Tue Jul 17, 2007 4:19 am UTC

You two should have babies. They would either be extremely talented with their face...or just have one facial expression.
Spoiler:
EsotericWombat wrote:MORE JUNK THAN YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOR

Mother Superior wrote:What's he got that I dont?
*sees Narsil's sig*
Oh... that.

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Postby TheKhakinator » Tue Jul 17, 2007 4:26 am UTC

saxmaniac1987 wrote:Confession 6: The real reason is that I just have no desire to. It honestly does not interest me at all.

I get tired of being expected to drink, I really do.

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wing
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Postby wing » Tue Jul 17, 2007 5:13 am UTC

Confession: I find it very amusing that all of like, 8 threads have suddenly changed to the topic of booze.

Nice change from sex, though.

Confession: I just downloaded 88mb in 33 seconds.
Last edited by wing on Tue Jul 17, 2007 5:34 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Kawa
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Postby Kawa » Tue Jul 17, 2007 5:30 am UTC

Confession/story time: Now I just got a call from A and am in tears. Not sobbing, just feeling things moisten and starting to sniffle. I feel the longing well up in my being. I feel his every joy and understand his every fear. I'm overwhelmed with the sheer power of the emotion I feel in his phone calls. I understand every little sigh and 'hmm' and whether they mean he's happy or sad or just drawing a blank. I am listening to our song over and over again and it's suddenly filled with every emotion I feel - all the joy and the longing and the hope. My usually multitasking mind now wants one thing: to be by his side, to be his, to feel his warmth, to feel his love.

Why the hell am I a thousand miles away? I feel so helpless.
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pollywog
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Postby pollywog » Tue Jul 17, 2007 5:40 am UTC

wing wrote:Confession: I find it very amusing that all of like, 8 threads have suddenly changed to the topic of booze.

Nice change from sex, though.

Confession: I just downloaded 88mb in 33 seconds.


*quick calculation* That would take me 3.3 days. How do you get such speed?! And I preferred sex to booze. All booze topics let me do is talk about how trashed I've seen people.

Confession: I once spent 15 minutes laughing at a guy who I was supposed to be looking after, because he was rolling on the floor crying. The reason was, he was drunk, and stupid before that, and he decided to snort some salt, and put some lemon juice in his eye, and then he fell over and hit his head on the table. It was funny at the time, but he broke his nose and I had to fix it.

Confession: I enjoyed fixing his nose.
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wing
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Postby wing » Tue Jul 17, 2007 5:47 am UTC

Kawa wrote:Confession/story time: Now I just got a call from A and am in tears. Not sobbing, just feeling things moisten and starting to sniffle. I feel the longing well up in my being. I feel his every joy and understand his every fear. I'm overwhelmed with the sheer power of the emotion I feel in his phone calls. I understand every little sigh and 'hmm' and whether they mean he's happy or sad or just drawing a blank. I am listening to our song over and over again and it's suddenly filled with every emotion I feel - all the joy and the longing and the hope. My usually multitasking mind now wants one thing: to be by his side, to be his, to feel his warmth, to feel his love.

Why the hell am I a thousand miles away? I feel so helpless.
...... What's your name? 'cuz my name starts with A, and I just made a phone call with that same effect to someone a couple thousand miles away.
I AM A SEXY, SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!
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3.14159265...
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Postby 3.14159265... » Tue Jul 17, 2007 5:53 am UTC

Let us know how this works out, if you end up PMing each other.
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Kawa
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Postby Kawa » Tue Jul 17, 2007 5:54 am UTC

wing wrote:
Kawa wrote:Confession/story time: Now I just got a call from A and am in tears. Not sobbing, just feeling things moisten and starting to sniffle. I feel the longing well up in my being. I feel his every joy and understand his every fear. I'm overwhelmed with the sheer power of the emotion I feel in his phone calls. I understand every little sigh and 'hmm' and whether they mean he's happy or sad or just drawing a blank. I am listening to our song over and over again and it's suddenly filled with every emotion I feel - all the joy and the longing and the hope. My usually multitasking mind now wants one thing: to be by his side, to be his, to feel his warmth, to feel his love.

Why the hell am I a thousand miles away? I feel so helpless.
...... What's your name? 'cuz my name starts with A, and I just made a phone call with that same effect to someone a couple thousand miles away.

He doesn't have Internet access right now (on vacation with family), so it can't be you. That, and you've stated before that you're 20 - the one that called me is 19.
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