This is why we can't have time travel

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

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Ondore
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This is why we can't have time travel

Postby Ondore » Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:12 pm UTC

At 14:52:28, FreedomFighter69 wrote:
Reporting my first temporal excursion since joining IATT: have just returned from 1936 Berlin, having taken the place of one of Leni Riefenstahl's cameramen and assassinated Adolf Hitler during the opening of the Olympic Games. Let a free world rejoice!

At 14:57:44, SilverFox316 wrote:
Back from 1936 Berlin; incapacitated FreedomFighter69 before he could pull his little stunt. Freedomfighter69, as you are a new member, please read IATT Bulletin 1147 regarding the killing of Hitler before your next excursion. Failure to do so may result in your expulsion per Bylaw 223.


The ending alone is worth it.
http://www.abyssandapex.com/200710-wikihistory.html

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Jessica
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby Jessica » Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:33 pm UTC

I liked that. It was awesome.
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby nsmjohn » Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:33 pm UTC

Ondore wrote:
At 14:52:28, FreedomFighter69 wrote:
Reporting my first temporal excursion since joining IATT: have just returned from 1936 Berlin, having taken the place of one of Leni Riefenstahl's cameramen and assassinated Adolf Hitler during the opening of the Olympic Games. Let a free world rejoice!

At 14:57:44, SilverFox316 wrote:
Back from 1936 Berlin; incapacitated FreedomFighter69 before he could pull his little stunt. Freedomfighter69, as you are a new member, please read IATT Bulletin 1147 regarding the killing of Hitler before your next excursion. Failure to do so may result in your expulsion per Bylaw 223.


The ending alone is worth it.
http://www.abyssandapex.com/200710-wikihistory.html

Yeah, I would definitely say so.
Gojoe wrote:Well, I would say something here, but it would only make it worse.


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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby Masuri » Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:37 pm UTC

Ha, that was an awesome read. Thanks!

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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby Azrael001 » Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:38 pm UTC

You're welcome.
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby nsmjohn » Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:40 pm UTC

Masuri wrote:Ha, that was an awesome read. Thanks!


It really was a great find. Thanks Ondore. I found the simplicity of the whole story to be the most compelling part.
Gojoe wrote:Well, I would say something here, but it would only make it worse.


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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby Bakemaster » Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:40 pm UTC

You win the best new thread in General in some time award, Ondore. Good work; have some cake.
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby Jessica » Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:46 pm UTC

I liked the moderator who kept telling him to move the discussion. That was awesome.
doogly wrote:On a scale of Mr Rogers to Fascism, how mean do you think we're being?
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby Cheese » Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:56 pm UTC

Niiice story!

I'm starting to realise why I should've started filing my bookmarks properly from the start, though - I have well over a hundred, in no particular order - I think I'll probably spend the next hour or so coming up with a good folder heirarchy for them.
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby theonlyjett » Thu Mar 20, 2008 11:02 pm UTC

Nice. Good find OP. I liked how no one wanted to go stop AsianAvenger, an apparent board troublemaker, from negating his own existence.

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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby LE4dGOLEM » Thu Mar 20, 2008 11:16 pm UTC

Needs MOAR!
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby Actaeus » Fri Mar 21, 2008 3:15 pm UTC

That was awesome. I liked the nonchalant Wikiperson dialogue from the mods.

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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby EsotericWombat » Sun Mar 23, 2008 5:47 am UTC

I'd like to see the subforum about Kennedy
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby Azrael001 » Sun Mar 23, 2008 5:50 am UTC

What about Lincoln? Or Obama? (If this actually comes true I will end up on the watch list for sure).
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby EsotericWombat » Sun Mar 23, 2008 6:11 am UTC

well in the case of Kennedy, there would also have to be rules about revealing the true nature of the assassination to the public. Scoff all you want at conspiracy theorists-- the uncertainty surrounding it all significantly colored American politics thereafter, and that would be a vein well worth mining for humor.
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby Zak » Sun Mar 23, 2008 6:27 am UTC

I'm considering printing this out and showing a bunch of friends...

I fear they wont understand the forum references
*waggles eyebrows*

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hyperion
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby hyperion » Sun Mar 23, 2008 6:34 am UTC

hahaha, nice.

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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby Citizen K » Mon Mar 24, 2008 5:16 pm UTC

Very amusing.

The first few entries make me immediately think of the game Chrononauts. Maybe that's no accident.
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby ZeroSum » Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:02 pm UTC

Excellent short story.

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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby EsotericWombat » Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:13 pm UTC

I think that there may be a rich vein of narrative to be mined in this sort of faux-web format
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby Lycur » Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:22 pm UTC

Absolutely fantastic. A must read!

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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby joeframbach » Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:22 pm UTC

That was pretty badass. More. I demands it.

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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby MFHodge » Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:26 pm UTC

A thread like this would be better placed in the "Science" forum and marked as "Science Humor". This isn't that hard people.

We're just trying to keep everything in its place . . .

Spoiler:
Yes, I'm joking. :wink:
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b.i.o
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby b.i.o » Mon Mar 24, 2008 7:40 pm UTC

That was excellent, thank you :D

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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby ThorFluff » Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:02 pm UTC

YOU SIR!
Win an Internets.
I just linked this to more or less everyone i was talking to on msn.
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby EsotericWombat » Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:43 pm UTC

Me too. and apparently it's making it around fast, because some had already seen it.
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby bbctol » Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:54 pm UTC

Ooh, I lol'd. But the fact that the timestamps for each comment were in chronological order missed a humor opportunity, I thought.

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une see
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby une see » Mon Mar 24, 2008 9:38 pm UTC

Epic.
T.S. Eliot in "The Waste Land" wrote:APRIL is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.

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Actaeus
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby Actaeus » Mon Mar 24, 2008 10:50 pm UTC

Epoch.

okay, it doesn't make much sense but I couldn't resist.

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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby Verator » Mon Mar 24, 2008 11:54 pm UTC

Actaeus wrote:Epoch fail


Fix'd.

That was so last version of the internet.
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Actaeus
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby Actaeus » Tue Mar 25, 2008 11:52 am UTC

Actually, that story was totally epoch win.

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sethicus
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby sethicus » Wed Mar 26, 2008 2:38 am UTC

i am with hodge. the barracksroomlawyer. every friggin post!
Compromise: Lowering my standards so you can meet them.

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parkaboy
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby parkaboy » Wed Mar 26, 2008 3:12 am UTC

Hahah that was awesome. I'm glad Hodge jumped on that joke too =]
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby aleflamedyud » Wed Mar 26, 2008 3:28 am UTC

Bloody good ending.
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby Spuddly » Wed Mar 26, 2008 8:04 am UTC

Would it be possible to tell stories like that with an actual website?
Like the time traveler's wiki- go there, write about how you changed history. Then other people would change it back. That'd be pretty cool.
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby joeframbach » Wed Mar 26, 2008 8:10 am UTC

Spuddly wrote:Would it be possible to tell stories like that with an actual website?
Like the time traveler's wiki- go there, write about how you changed history. Then other people would change it back. That'd be pretty cool.

Start up the thread in Forum Games. Post a link to that thread here.

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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby Echodork » Wed Mar 26, 2008 6:24 pm UTC

We will never have time travel in my lifetime. How do I know? Because if a time machine is ever invented while I am alive, I will steal it and bring it back to myself this morning. And since I've now made it to lunchtime without any future versions of myself appearing in possession of insanely valuable future technology, I have to assume that this will never happen.

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Yuri2356
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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby Yuri2356 » Wed Mar 26, 2008 6:44 pm UTC

Or you failed to steal it.

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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby evilbeanfiend » Wed Mar 26, 2008 6:45 pm UTC

or the time cops busted yo' ass
in ur beanz makin u eveel

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Re: This is why we can't have time travel

Postby EsotericWombat » Wed Mar 26, 2008 8:14 pm UTC

seriously dude. going on the record like that is a great way to get yourself wiki-ed out of the time stream
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