Raptors in real life

[Toeofdoom]

The nuke idea is bad, yeah :/

Anti-raptor biological weapons might work, but wiping out raptors altogether isn't optimal, because they help limit human population,and it is good to know there is something to be afraid of, because otherwise you get all overconfident and everyone starts killing each other. Thats why you have all the wars, no politicians nowadays believe in raptors.

[German Sausage]

dont worry thefiddler, we july 26th ers have to stick together. there is space on the island for most of the forum. but maybe we bring belial blindfolded? so he doesn't know the way.

[thefiddler]

dont worry thefiddler, we july 26th ers have to stick together. there is space on the island for most of the forum. but maybe we bring belial blindfolded? so he doesn't know the way.

Hehe, yes. You can watch out for me. Like an older brother (yeah, like I need more of those). With the same birthday. >.> <.<

We could stick him in a closet?

@Toeofdoom - Well... we could leave a few raptors... in D.C.

[Jesse]

Isn't it obvious?

Belial is a Raptor!

I will not be silenc*mmph*

[thefiddler]

Isn't it obvious?

Belial is a Raptor!

I will not be silenc*mmph*

I knewwww there was something suspicious about him. >.> <.<

*runs away before the raptors can get her*

[German Sausage]

Screw defense weaponry; let's gather all the people in one place and nuke other possible raptor spots.

maybe not the wisest option, but the boldest by far.

toeofdoom, i like this boat/arcology thing. get to work.

[thefiddler]

Screw defense weaponry; let's gather all the people in one place and nuke other possible raptor spots.

maybe not the wisest option, but the boldest by far.

toeofdoom, i like this boat/arcology thing. get to work.

...I already decided against my own plan.

Anyways, I totally say let's do it. Err... you have fun. I can... um... I'm pretty useless at that stuff. I'm good at cooking?

[Toeofdoom]

Isn't it obvious?

Belial is a Raptor!

I will not be silenc*mmph*

FOOL!

Raptors dont like being revealed. Learn to shut up.[/quote]

[Belial]

The Jesster mammal is of course mistaken. I am human. Just look at my neck.

Pay no attention to his sudden disappearance. He probably left his oven on, where he is cooking some element of his omnivorous diet. Isn't that stuff great?

But if he *weren't* mistaken, I would point out, in a smug, reptilian fashion, that the raptor you see isn't the one you should be worried about....

[aisling]

...You guys have started a fear of raptors, deep within me. Reading this thread has made me reconsider my current choice of doorknob, even. It would be quite easy for a raptor to get a grip on and tear from the door with amazing raptor strength.


I think I'll go lay down under the covers of my bed, now.

[German Sausage]

every life saved is an end in itself. i am glad we have achieved something here today

[Toeofdoom]

...You guys have started a fear of raptors, deep within me. Reading this thread has made me reconsider my current choice of doorknob, even. It would be quite easy for a raptor to get a grip on and tear from the door with amazing raptor strength.


I think I'll go lay down under the covers of my bed, now.

I got the impression raptors werent really any stronger than humans... (Although they are faster and have very nasty claws and teeth and camoflague)

Circular doorknobs are good, generally anyway. If you really want raptors to have a hard time getting in, build a house that is atleast a story off the ground and have a only vertical ladder or even better, a lift that has some "are you a raptor" test in it. Just needs opposable thumbs or something.

[Aoeniac]

Velociraptors anyway. If you're particularly athletic, you might be able to wrangle a velociraptor with your bare hands and crush its neck.




Say, you know this topic reminds me of something I've always wanted to do. Am I the only one who thinks it would be a real novel idea to take recordings of unsettling sounds like reptilian screeches and guttural canine growling and scare the socks off people at night?


I mean, it can get a little eerie going to night classes in the middle of the fucking woods anyway, so why not liven it up a bit?

[no-genius]

Somebody once told me Raptors were like Daleks and couldn't climb stairs. I'm pretty sure he's been eaten by now.

Not in the new Dr who serieses - they can fly! (and no, that does not make it completely shite. Because... shut up!)

Still more afraid of raptors though - I think we may have been infiltrated

But if he *weren't* mistaken, I would point out, in a smug, reptilian fashion, that the raptor you see isn't the one you should be worried about....

Clever girl!

thefiddler: of course there's room for you. Just be careful of possible raptor sympathisers

[Nonthought]

What would be the best way to configure my already existant zombie-defences against this raptor threat? Will they bring bigger dinosaurs with them? Should I ignore the neighbour's petition and redeploy the minefield?

[LE4dGOLEM]

Raptors are approximately one-third stronger than an average human male adult.

[Daniel]

okay, we need to develop anti-raptor martial arts! can raptors learn martial arts? if they can, then we REALLY need to be worried...

[Nonthought]

Perhaps a form that uses a rudimentary form of catapult... ?

[ivnja]

Time to get some transperent aluminum. Star trek 4 informs me it was discovered over 20 years ago, so it should be available by now... That makes teal good cages.

I thought you wanted clear cages?

How fast can these puppies run? Are they like wolves, so they just run forever without getting tired? Can someone come escort me across campus now, please?

[Aoeniac]

okay, we need to develop anti-raptor martial arts! can raptors learn martial arts? if they can, then we REALLY need to be worried...

It is a scientific fact that Raptors cannot learn martial arts.



They can learn boxing though.

[Belial]

Why would we learn boxing when we could learn kickboxing? It makes much better use of those powerful legs and piercing claws....

Shit, did I say "we"? I meant "they". Those raptors. Of which I, a mammal, am terrified.

Especially if they have captured several kickboxing instructional videos and a dvd player....not that I would know anything about that...

[LE4dGOLEM]

Time to get some transperent aluminum. Star trek 4 informs me it was discovered over 20 years ago, so it should be available by now... That makes teal good cages.

I thought you wanted clear cages?

How fast can these puppies run? Are they like wolves, so they just run forever without getting tired? Can someone come escort me across campus now, please?

4m/s^2 up to 25m/s, or if in an indoor environment, or with an injured leg, 10m/s. They do not tire and they do not know fear.

[Nonthought]

How long do you think it'd take a group of raptors to find a chink in a medieval suit of armour? How many do you think we'd be able to kill before they do?

[Belial]

I imagine after the first one you killed, the others would deem you not worth the effort, and leave in search of less resistant food.

Or, if it's a sufficiently large pack, they'd just knock you to the ground and work at you until they find something to tear.

So unless you're really *fast* in that armor, not very many.

[thefiddler]

So... what does work against raptors? I'm kind of scared, now. Running around... locking doors... demolishing the stairs... storing food in my attic...

Yeah, we need to publish a survival guide: "How to Survive a Raptor Attack (Just a Theory; Not Proven Through Use)".

Anyways. Don't mind me. I'm rambling.

[Belial]

In all seriousness?

After long discussions on this topic, we came to the conclusion that flamethrowers are probably your best bet. You can sweep a rather large area, do lasting damage to anything caught in the sweep, and generally put up a very intimidating front while you're doing it.

Lets you fend off a rather large amount of animals at once. Especially if you're surrounded by a semi-flammable medium like grass, so that the ring of fire remains as a deterrent even after you've swept.

Take this info, denizens of xkcd, and be momentarily safe.

The raptors will eat everyone else first.

[no-genius]

Somehow, I don't trust you ....

Ah, wait - I know how to survive a raptor attack! T-rex

[Belial]

Somehow, I don't trust you ....

Heh. Good.

[Toeofdoom]

How long do you think it'd take a group of raptors to find a chink in a medieval suit of armour? How many do you think we'd be able to kill before they do?

There are modern suits of armor you know...
http://tinyurl.com/y6gzbx

First thing is: Melee combat is not too good an idea: Raptors are fast and well equipped to kill people at short range.

To kill them before they get too close, I would suggest we try infra-red goggles. Are raptors warm or cold blooded? Warm works much better for us...

And, we also need a weapon capable of killing them. Assault rifles of some sort are still available in the US, and pistols would work okay, but for us in australia and stuff, for stuff thats less illegal/hard to get, a bow may work okay if taking archery lessons, but otherwise I would reccomend avoiding all raptor related situations.

LE4dGOLEM SAYS: For the sake of my resolution, USE TINYURL!

[Belial]

Umm...clearly cold-blooded. I wouldn't even bother to put the goggles on.

Oh who am I kidding. Our mammal scientists are pretty sure the majestic raptor was warm-blooded. The level of activity and the climate of origin wouldn't work very well otherwise.

Or so you believe.

[Toeofdoom]

I'm thinking further tests would be good here.

We also need a lead raptor researcher. Has anyone here managed to catch a glimpse of a raptor, or even better, seen one properly and can do it again? Would be very useful for testing infra-red goggles...

[Aoeniac]

Cold blooded animals are usually easily discernable from their environments with infrared imaging.

Mostly because they change temperature at a different rate than their environment and retain a different amount of heat.

[no-genius]

Yes! There is hope for us yet.... not a heck of a lot

[Toeofdoom]

Cold blooded animals are usually easily discernable from their environments with infrared imaging.

Mostly because they change temperature at a different rate than their environment and retain a different amount of heat.

I wouldnt trust a raptor not to figure out a way around that...

[German Sausage]

i wouldn't trust them, but its not easy to change one's body temperature. and they can'y ALL be zen masters. i hope...[gulp]

[Shizo]

So like, I'm going to an amusement park soon and there's an underground attraction called 'The Raptor.' I am curious as to what happens while on it. I started to watch a video, but it cut off before it went underground.

[no-genius]

It's a trap!

[Nonthought]

Please, Shizo, take with you a video camera and transmitter, and a large amount of explosives. Your sacrifice could save us all!

[william]

(and no, that does not make it completely shite. Because... shut up!)

because Dalek Sec is the most completely badass Dalek there is. *smug*
Shiny black armor > you.

[Aoeniac]

I think you're all looking at the problem from the wrong angle. Why figure out ways to kill the raptors? Raptors have many practical applications. The obvious solution is for humanity to reach singularity with machines. Robots are not tasty, believe me. It's impossible to get that taste of copper wiring out of your mouth. Once we are no longer a part of the raptor's food web, we will be able to conquer the galaxy on a unified cyborg/reptile front.