Hype your ripe snipes 'n' gripes

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

Moderators: Moderators General, Prelates, Magistrates

User avatar
Amarantha
Posts: 1638
Joined: Tue Nov 27, 2007 4:56 am UTC
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Amarantha » Sun Aug 28, 2011 4:46 am UTC

Open letter to health department: Fuck you. I should be able to buy a pack of fucking flu pills without being treated like a criminal. I should be able to buy another pack for my husband, who is much sicker than I and thus stayed at home. I should be able to expect that the gorram pharmacy will actually stock the pills we need. I should be able to get a night-time-only pack when the symptoms are so much worse at night. So, to all parties involved in the decision to tackle the illegal drug trade by fucking with sick people, I say again: Fuck you.

User avatar
It Should Be Real
Ninja Sauce Container
Posts: 416
Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:48 am UTC
Location: Birmingham, UK

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby It Should Be Real » Sun Aug 28, 2011 6:43 pm UTC

I answer questions for a living. When a customer sends in a question, I can see their previous questions and the answers given to them.
Rant: the answers regarding sex and gender make me sad.

Customer: how do you have sex?
Another researcher: To have sex a male with an erect penis must insert his penis in to a woman's vagina and thrust, to complete the deed, he must ejaculate.

At least twice I've seen 'am i a boy or a girl' answered with an analogue of 'if you have a vagina, you're a girl'.

I'm sad. This job is making me sad. /tired sigh

distractedSofty
Posts: 253
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2010 5:29 pm UTC

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby distractedSofty » Sun Aug 28, 2011 6:47 pm UTC

It Should Be Real wrote:Customer: how do you have sex?
Another researcher: To have sex a male with an erect penis must insert his penis in to a woman's vagina and thrust, to complete the deed, he must ejaculate.

To be fair, the question wasn't about sex in general. :)

User avatar
farnsworth
Posts: 154
Joined: Mon Aug 08, 2011 2:11 pm UTC
Location: I don't know. Texas?

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby farnsworth » Sun Aug 28, 2011 6:53 pm UTC

Unsolicited advice: Keep a FAQ list to copy-and-paste answers from. Sort it categorically and then alphabetically.

EDIT: Way to go; I totally missed the point.
Last edited by farnsworth on Sun Aug 28, 2011 7:20 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
TaintedDeity
Posts: 4003
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 7:22 pm UTC
Location: England;

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby TaintedDeity » Sun Aug 28, 2011 6:59 pm UTC

farnsworth wrote:Unsolicited advice: Keep a FAQ list to copy-and-paste answers from. Sort it categorically and then alphabetically.
How would that solve the crippling hate for the heteronormative replies of others? It'd be efficient, but that's not the issue here...
Ⓞⓞ◯

User avatar
farnsworth
Posts: 154
Joined: Mon Aug 08, 2011 2:11 pm UTC
Location: I don't know. Texas?

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby farnsworth » Sun Aug 28, 2011 7:24 pm UTC

Ahh, I missed that. :oops: Sorry.

Are these questions moderated or regulated in any manner? Maybe you could ask whatever management to put up a note regarding this. I can't really help otherwise; just try to answer as accurately as you can.
Last edited by farnsworth on Sun Aug 28, 2011 7:50 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
It Should Be Real
Ninja Sauce Container
Posts: 416
Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:48 am UTC
Location: Birmingham, UK

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby It Should Be Real » Sun Aug 28, 2011 7:29 pm UTC

Everything went better than expected: I whined to His Excellency the Overseer of All Things and he said that if I write a stock answer he'll tell people to use it.
In a not at all related vein, can anyone help me answer 'how do you have sex'/'what is sex' in 150 characters or less? >_>

User avatar
Zarq
Posts: 1993
Joined: Mon Jul 26, 2010 7:29 pm UTC
Location: Third Rock from Earth's Yellow Sun

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Zarq » Sun Aug 28, 2011 7:35 pm UTC

"Sex is intimate bodily contact, which makes you (sexually) excited and can cause orgasm."

And then I'd link to a page that explains things a little more in detail, because explaining the variety of things that can be considered sex in 150 characters is next to impossible.
You rang?

"It is better to shit yourself, than to die of constipation." - Some picture on reddit

User avatar
TaintedDeity
Posts: 4003
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 7:22 pm UTC
Location: England;

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby TaintedDeity » Sun Aug 28, 2011 7:38 pm UTC

@farnsworth
;D

@ISBR
Nice one. You could mention mutual orgasm and then something about stimulating genitals and maybe a bit about sometimes involving penetration. But then sex doesn't always have to involve mutual orgasm. This is complicated.

Ninjedit: Zarq's is better.
Ⓞⓞ◯

User avatar
Zarq
Posts: 1993
Joined: Mon Jul 26, 2010 7:29 pm UTC
Location: Third Rock from Earth's Yellow Sun

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Zarq » Sun Aug 28, 2011 7:41 pm UTC

Problem with mine is that there's a good chance that the person who asked the question probably will not have learned anything. It's the most inclusive definition, but also the most vague.
You rang?

"It is better to shit yourself, than to die of constipation." - Some picture on reddit

User avatar
It Should Be Real
Ninja Sauce Container
Posts: 416
Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:48 am UTC
Location: Birmingham, UK

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby It Should Be Real » Sun Aug 28, 2011 7:42 pm UTC

@Zarq - Whilst that's a really good idea, we can't send links (because it's assumed people who are using a text Q&A service don't have internet access). /ponderous chin stroke

User avatar
Zarq
Posts: 1993
Joined: Mon Jul 26, 2010 7:29 pm UTC
Location: Third Rock from Earth's Yellow Sun

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Zarq » Sun Aug 28, 2011 7:46 pm UTC

It Should Be Real wrote:@Zarq - Whilst that's a really good idea, we can't send links (because it's assumed people who are using a text Q&A service don't have internet access). /ponderous chin stroke


I did not read the part about it being a text service. I can see why they resorted to the traditional heteronormative explanation now. Being inclusive and clear in under 150 characters is practically impossible.
You rang?

"It is better to shit yourself, than to die of constipation." - Some picture on reddit

User avatar
It Should Be Real
Ninja Sauce Container
Posts: 416
Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:48 am UTC
Location: Birmingham, UK

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby It Should Be Real » Sun Aug 28, 2011 7:48 pm UTC

How about: "Sex is intimate bodily contact which makes you sexually excited and can cause orgasm. It could involve penetration or genital stimulation."

User avatar
Zarq
Posts: 1993
Joined: Mon Jul 26, 2010 7:29 pm UTC
Location: Third Rock from Earth's Yellow Sun

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Zarq » Sun Aug 28, 2011 7:51 pm UTC

139 characters. Probably the best you can achieve.
You rang?

"It is better to shit yourself, than to die of constipation." - Some picture on reddit

User avatar
farnsworth
Posts: 154
Joined: Mon Aug 08, 2011 2:11 pm UTC
Location: I don't know. Texas?

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby farnsworth » Sun Aug 28, 2011 7:59 pm UTC

From Merriam-Webster: "3INTERCOURSE: physical sexual contact between individuals that involves the genitalia of at least one person."

96 characters. There is a "see also" loop in the dictionary from sexual --> sex --> intercourse --> sexual, which sort of confuses things.

User avatar
SecondTalon
SexyTalon
Posts: 26519
Joined: Sat May 05, 2007 2:10 pm UTC
Location: Louisville, Kentucky, USA, Mars. HA!
Contact:

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby SecondTalon » Mon Aug 29, 2011 4:28 am UTC

farnsworth wrote:From Merriam-Webster: "3INTERCOURSE: physical sexual contact between individuals that involves the genitalia of at least one person."

96 characters. There is a "see also" loop in the dictionary from sexual --> sex --> intercourse --> sexual, which sort of confuses things.

Problem : Sex =/= Intercourse in all cases.
heuristically_alone wrote:I want to write a DnD campaign and play it by myself and DM it myself.
heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

User avatar
setzer777
Good questions sometimes get stupid answers
Posts: 2762
Joined: Sun Nov 23, 2008 9:24 am UTC

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby setzer777 » Mon Aug 29, 2011 8:32 am UTC

Sex: The stimulation of a partner's erogenous zones (insert list here) for the sake of pleasure, often resulting in orgasms for one or both partners.
Meaux_Pas wrote:We're here to go above and beyond.

Too infinity
of being an arsehole

User avatar
e^iπ+1=0
Much, much better than Gooder
Posts: 2065
Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2009 9:41 am UTC
Location: Lancaster

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby e^iπ+1=0 » Mon Aug 29, 2011 9:33 am UTC

setzer777 wrote:Sex: The stimulation of a partner's erogenous zones (insert list here) for the sake of pleasure, often resulting in orgasms for one or both partners.
So is reproductive sex not sex then?
poxic wrote:You, sir, have heroic hair.
poxic wrote:I note that the hair is not slowing down. It appears to have progressed from heroic to rocking.

(Avatar by Sungura)

User avatar
Kang
Posts: 722
Joined: Tue Jul 27, 2010 4:30 pm UTC

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Kang » Mon Aug 29, 2011 3:29 pm UTC

Zarq wrote:Problem with mine is that there's a good chance that the person who asked the question probably will not have learned anything. It's the most inclusive definition, but also the most vague.

People actually expect to learn something from texting random questions? At of what I gathered from the ads to such services they are mostly meant to amuse those people who made every effort in their life to avoid learning basic things.

User avatar
Ptolom
Posts: 1559
Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:55 pm UTC
Location: The entropy pool
Contact:

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Ptolom » Mon Aug 29, 2011 3:47 pm UTC

Sex is a board game in which players draw letter tiles and take turns to make interlocking words like a crossword, scoring points according to the letters played and their positions on the board.

User avatar
setzer777
Good questions sometimes get stupid answers
Posts: 2762
Joined: Sun Nov 23, 2008 9:24 am UTC

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby setzer777 » Mon Aug 29, 2011 4:11 pm UTC

e^iπ+1=0 wrote:
setzer777 wrote:Sex: The stimulation of a partner's erogenous zones (insert list here) for the sake of pleasure, often resulting in orgasms for one or both partners.
So is reproductive sex not sex then?


True, that leaves out reproductive sex that doesn't have pleasure in mind at all. Though if you're talking about pleasure in the most basic sense you could say that they are trying to pleasure the male enough to cause ejaculation (pleasure as a means to an end).

It's not a truly all-encompassing definition (in language it's usually next to impossible to have concise all-encompassing definitions that aren't vague to the point of uselessness), but I'd say that it effectively describes the vast majority of sexual activity across all genders and sexual orientations (even asexuals having sex usually do so for the sake of their partner's pleasure).
Meaux_Pas wrote:We're here to go above and beyond.

Too infinity
of being an arsehole

User avatar
Microscopic cog
in his catastrophic plan
Posts: 769
Joined: Thu Oct 07, 2010 12:09 pm UTC

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Microscopic cog » Tue Aug 30, 2011 5:12 pm UTC

Adults are boring. :|
Spoiler:
Interviewer: Some people say they can’t understand your writing even after they read it two or three times. What approach would you suggest for them?

William Faulkner: Read it four times.

User avatar
e^iπ+1=0
Much, much better than Gooder
Posts: 2065
Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2009 9:41 am UTC
Location: Lancaster

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby e^iπ+1=0 » Tue Aug 30, 2011 11:08 pm UTC

poxic wrote:You, sir, have heroic hair.
poxic wrote:I note that the hair is not slowing down. It appears to have progressed from heroic to rocking.

(Avatar by Sungura)

User avatar
podbaydoor
Posts: 7548
Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2007 4:16 am UTC
Location: spaceship somewhere out there

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby podbaydoor » Wed Aug 31, 2011 3:29 pm UTC

Wall Street Journal editorial:
Norman Podhoretz: What Happened to Obama? Absolutely Nothing.
He is still the same anti-American leftist he was before becoming our president.

WRANG
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

User avatar
broken_escalator
They're called stairs
Posts: 3312
Joined: Tue Mar 23, 2010 1:49 am UTC
Location: _| ̄|○

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby broken_escalator » Wed Aug 31, 2011 4:24 pm UTC

Little known fact: Our Obama's anti-American, however there is an American doppelganger-Obama hiding somewhere. When they finally meet they will both annihilate and it will foretell the second coming of Reagan.

User avatar
Jumble
Posts: 1184
Joined: Mon Nov 02, 2009 6:48 am UTC
Location: London(ish), UK.
Contact:

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Jumble » Wed Aug 31, 2011 10:08 pm UTC

And I looked and beheld a pale horse. And it's riders name was Reagan, and crap policies followed him....
Spoiler:
Giant Speck wrote:You're a demon! DEMON!!!!

Oregonaut wrote:CURSE YOU VILLAIN!!
PhoenixEnigma wrote:Jumble is either the best or worst Santa ever, and I can't figure out which. Possibly both.

Mumpy
Posts: 730
Joined: Tue Jul 13, 2010 7:20 pm UTC
Location: Oxford, England

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Mumpy » Wed Aug 31, 2011 10:59 pm UTC

Jumble's back! yay! not content for a rant thread, so uh, darn, poot, that toe stubbing, what a flipping nuisance.

User avatar
Jumble
Posts: 1184
Joined: Mon Nov 02, 2009 6:48 am UTC
Location: London(ish), UK.
Contact:

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Jumble » Thu Sep 01, 2011 5:17 am UTC

Aww, thanks. *blush*

Oh, yeah, rant: what have you all done with the summer? I left it here, went away for 2 weeks and someone has lost it under a bed or something. This is definitely autumn. (ok, lame, but I'm English and I'm supposed to moan about the weather or they'll take my passport away)
Spoiler:
Giant Speck wrote:You're a demon! DEMON!!!!

Oregonaut wrote:CURSE YOU VILLAIN!!
PhoenixEnigma wrote:Jumble is either the best or worst Santa ever, and I can't figure out which. Possibly both.

User avatar
Giant Speck
Bouncy Sex Marshmallow
Posts: 3819
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2009 12:30 pm UTC
Location: Tucson, Arizona

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Giant Speck » Thu Sep 01, 2011 6:18 am UTC

Our leaves have already begun changing colors. :(
"Did I say recently that I love Giant Speck? Because I love Giant Speck. He is the best." - Weeks
BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE

User avatar
e^iπ+1=0
Much, much better than Gooder
Posts: 2065
Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2009 9:41 am UTC
Location: Lancaster

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby e^iπ+1=0 » Thu Sep 01, 2011 6:33 am UTC

Our leaves never change colors. :(
poxic wrote:You, sir, have heroic hair.
poxic wrote:I note that the hair is not slowing down. It appears to have progressed from heroic to rocking.

(Avatar by Sungura)

User avatar
farnsworth
Posts: 154
Joined: Mon Aug 08, 2011 2:11 pm UTC
Location: I don't know. Texas?

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby farnsworth » Thu Sep 01, 2011 11:41 am UTC

Our leaves have started dying due to lack of water. :(

User avatar
podbaydoor
Posts: 7548
Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2007 4:16 am UTC
Location: spaceship somewhere out there

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby podbaydoor » Thu Sep 01, 2011 2:31 pm UTC

Leaves?
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

User avatar
SecondTalon
SexyTalon
Posts: 26519
Joined: Sat May 05, 2007 2:10 pm UTC
Location: Louisville, Kentucky, USA, Mars. HA!
Contact:

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby SecondTalon » Thu Sep 01, 2011 2:33 pm UTC

The thing you do after you eat and shoot.
heuristically_alone wrote:I want to write a DnD campaign and play it by myself and DM it myself.
heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

DSenette
Posts: 2418
Joined: Fri Mar 06, 2009 8:08 pm UTC

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby DSenette » Thu Sep 01, 2011 2:34 pm UTC

farnsworth wrote:Our leaves have started dying due to lack of water. :(

i've got that going on too...thought it was fallish, but it's too damned hot for that
The Righteous Hand Of Retribution
"The evaporation of 4 million who believe this crap would leave the world an instantly better place." ~Andre Codresu (re: "the Rapture")

User avatar
farnsworth
Posts: 154
Joined: Mon Aug 08, 2011 2:11 pm UTC
Location: I don't know. Texas?

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby farnsworth » Thu Sep 01, 2011 10:51 pm UTC

DSenette wrote:too damned hot

My sentiments exactly.

icanus
Posts: 478
Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 1:19 pm UTC
Location: in England now abed

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby icanus » Fri Sep 02, 2011 12:46 am UTC

Fuckshitballs.

Cock.

User avatar
Shivahn
Posts: 2200
Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:17 am UTC

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Shivahn » Fri Sep 02, 2011 1:55 am UTC

I finally got around to looking at my shotgun that my dad's friend dropped after firing a while back that didn't work.

I thought the hammer was out of alignment.

Nope, the striker is broken! And I can't find anywhere to order a new one. Boo.

User avatar
podbaydoor
Posts: 7548
Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2007 4:16 am UTC
Location: spaceship somewhere out there

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby podbaydoor » Fri Sep 02, 2011 2:44 am UTC

farnsworth wrote:
DSenette wrote:too damned hot

My sentiments exactly.
Attachments
6a00e551f38e4e88330120a50cd917970b-550wi.jpg
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

User avatar
Armadillo Al
Posts: 934
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2008 4:17 pm UTC
Location: Illinois

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby Armadillo Al » Fri Sep 02, 2011 12:57 pm UTC

Four weeks after the accident, still haven't replaced my car.

Insurance actually came through with their end, and got me my check reasonably quickly...only problem there was that I had to get my dad to sign it, since we cosigned on the car loan. And he was in the hospital at the time, after his pit bull nearly crushed his arm. Took me another week to figure out a way to get to him.

But that part's done, the check's been deposited...now I just need to figure out a way to get to a car lot to actually buy another car. Tough to do when you don't have a car and have a 9-to-5. If only I wasn't so antisocial, I could probably ask some people to give me rides, and I might even get one to say yes...

EDIT: Sweet. Pagetopper.
Compiling.. wrote:xkcd... where EVERYONE loves EVERYONE...

User avatar
farnsworth
Posts: 154
Joined: Mon Aug 08, 2011 2:11 pm UTC
Location: I don't know. Texas?

Re: Pant Thread (because we need more panting)

Postby farnsworth » Sat Sep 03, 2011 8:24 pm UTC

This is really minor, but the only mainstream radio station in my area is being obnoxious. They've edited "Yoü and I" to have every occurrence of "Nebraska" replaced with "Texas." It's a terribly obvious edit that ruins the song. Seriously, why would they even think of doing this?


Return to “General”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Exabot [Bot] and 23 guests