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Felstaff
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Re: Rant Thread

Postby Felstaff » Tue Nov 18, 2008 10:40 am UTC

Teapot wrote:The Harry Potter audio books. £18 for book one. About £50 for book 6. What the hell itunes? Why would I pay that?
Teapot wrote:The Harry Potter audio books. £18 for book one. About £50 for book 6. Frankly, that's not enough. I should be paying double that.
Oh, hey. See, the first is your initial post, and the second? Well, that's the alternative universe post where you realise it's read by Stephen Fry!

As for Harry himself. Magic does have consequences! Harry nearly gets expelled for using magic underage. When really it was Dobby the House Elf that conjures the cake so it... it... Oh, God, I can't continue writing this.

Although I must say, it does seem remarkably easy to Avada Kedavra just about anyone. The only thing stopping ordinary witches and wizards is 'fear of using it', apparently due to its 'unforgivable' status. Bull's shit! Imagine a wizard getting drunk then Imperiousing the shit out of a helpless muggle. Or cat. I'd have Crucio'd the hell out of Crookshanks.
Away, you scullion! you rampallion! You fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe.

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Re: Rant Thread

Postby SecondTalon » Tue Nov 18, 2008 1:58 pm UTC

Z.A.K wrote:Uhh, maybe it has something to do with location? Look up some asian movies. How many white characters are there?

That's.. kinda the point, really. I look around and I see while folks.. but I also see asian folks and black folks and indian folks and the rare native american folk and so on.
I turn on the TV or flip a movie on and assuming it's not Jewish Caricature Show #102, nothing at all to suggest the resulting product came from a place where only Anglo-Saxon Protestants and Sometimes Catholics live and work, with the occasional visit from a strange foreigner from what must be another country.
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heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

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Re: Rant Thread

Postby micco » Tue Nov 18, 2008 2:07 pm UTC

Why the fuck can't I listen to my playlists on the last.fm software? This is stupid.
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Re: Rant Thread

Postby Moo » Tue Nov 18, 2008 2:34 pm UTC

I love my new glasses, but I have really long lashes and I'm getting pretty fucking bored of having to clean them every 10 minutes (no exaggeration) because my lashes leave smudges on the lenses, that have that no glare coating that makes it a bitch to get cleaned smudge free.

Also, fuck not being able to find boots higher than ankle length. I know I'm fat but seriously? Are my calves really twice the circumference of the average woman's? (And yes I know you get "wide fit" ones, been there, tried that, the ones that do fit are too big for my feet or just hideous)
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Re: Rant Thread

Postby emceng » Tue Nov 18, 2008 2:54 pm UTC

Felstaff wrote:
As for Harry himself. Magic does have consequences! Harry nearly gets expelled for using magic underage. When really it was Dobby the House Elf that conjures the cake so it... it... Oh, God, I can't continue writing this.

Although I must say, it does seem remarkably easy to Avada Kedavra just about anyone. The only thing stopping ordinary witches and wizards is 'fear of using it', apparently due to its 'unforgivable' status. Bull's shit! Imagine a wizard getting drunk then Imperiousing the shit out of a helpless muggle. Or cat. I'd have Crucio'd the hell out of Crookshanks.


This is the problem of so many magic systems. It takes too much effort to be consistent, and many times authors don't plan ahead or worry about potential issues. With all the things in the HP universe, why didn't anyone just kill Voldemort? Oh, apparently he is 'too powerful' - and yet magic can do anything! It can make a car fly, hynotize people, etc. What stops some kid from stunning their parents because they don't want to do the dishes? What stops them from turning their sister into a newt? Or enchanting a book that you apparently can never stop reading?

Another one I like to joke about is the Force - especially in lightsaber duels. I think I would invent a new Force power - Force cock-punch. Use it, then stab the guy while he's laying on the ground holding his groin. Or hell, if you can choke someone, why not Force squeeze-some-vein-in-that-guy's-head,-giving-him-a-brain-aneurysm.

That's the problem with magic - no defined rules. There are many times things that involve action at a distance with no given limit on effects or requirements. The real world has physics. You know a bullet can only travel so far, and it shouldn't pierce a block wall. You know that if a car barrel-rolls down a hill, the driver is likely dead or horribly injured.
When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up. - CS Lewis

The Cat

Re: Rant Thread

Postby The Cat » Tue Nov 18, 2008 3:32 pm UTC

Although I must say, it does seem remarkably easy to Avada Kedavra just about anyone. The only thing stopping ordinary witches and wizards is 'fear of using it', apparently due to its 'unforgivable' status. Bull's shit! Imagine a wizard getting drunk then Imperiousing the shit out of a helpless muggle. Or cat. I'd have Crucio'd the hell out of Crookshanks.


Live by the wand die by the wand. Can I reserve a space in the mid Dec. Felstaff Post? I've bitten down so hard on my tongue that the sides are hanging on by a thread. If they fall off, my tongue will be sharp like a snake. Sub one of your favorite American Corp. with the Snake frat in Harry Potter. The sudopawns should never control the game, it makes you question management.

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Re: Rant Thread

Postby thecommabandit » Tue Nov 18, 2008 3:39 pm UTC

The Cat wrote:Live by the wand die by the wand. Can I reserve a space in the mid Dec. Felstaff Post? I've bitten down so hard on my tongue that the sides are hanging on by a thread. If they fall off, my tongue will be sharp like a snake. Sub one of your favorite American Corp. with the Snake frat in Harry Potter. The sudopawns should never control the game, it makes you question management.

I understood the first sentence of that post... the rest is kind of a blur.
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Cherry Kiss
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Re: Rant Thread

Postby Cherry Kiss » Tue Nov 18, 2008 3:41 pm UTC

thecommabandit wrote:
The Cat wrote:Live by the wand die by the wand. Can I reserve a space in the mid Dec. Felstaff Post? I've bitten down so hard on my tongue that the sides are hanging on by a thread. If they fall off, my tongue will be sharp like a snake. Sub one of your favorite American Corp. with the Snake frat in Harry Potter. The sudopawns should never control the game, it makes you question management.

I understood the first sentence of that post... the rest is kind of a blur.

you're not the only one. geesh, what the hell?
What they call love is a risk,
'Cause you will always get hit
Out of nowhere by some wave
And end up on your own.

The Cat

Re: Rant Thread

Postby The Cat » Tue Nov 18, 2008 3:42 pm UTC

That's my famous word salad, people come from all around the world to pick through that. You don't like it :( Sorry, I just have a difficult situation I don't want to talk about, but it breaks down to three choices.

1. I hate
2. I like
3. I don't know anything about...

I have a hard time with other code, that's a big part of the problem. Oh, but I do know cheese and peanutbutter. Thanks angry squirl, but It wasn't that obscure, just not worth responding.
Last edited by The Cat on Tue Nov 18, 2008 5:05 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Rant Thread

Postby felltir » Tue Nov 18, 2008 4:38 pm UTC

The Cat.

You're awesome.

Really, really, really awesome.

Just not sure if you're human.
Spoiler:
RoadieRich wrote:He's a super flexible furry martial artist from London. She is a Rabbit breeding mad scientist from Michigan. They fight crime!
The Great Hippo wrote:I THINK THE SOLAR SYSTEM MIGHT BE AN ATOM OF OXYGEN.


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The Cat

Re: Rant Thread

Postby The Cat » Tue Nov 18, 2008 4:56 pm UTC

Thanks Felltir, that means alot, especially while dancing the egg shell shuffle. I'm not a good dancer.

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Re: Rant Thread

Postby felltir » Tue Nov 18, 2008 5:15 pm UTC

Me either. 3 left hooves.
Spoiler:
RoadieRich wrote:He's a super flexible furry martial artist from London. She is a Rabbit breeding mad scientist from Michigan. They fight crime!
The Great Hippo wrote:I THINK THE SOLAR SYSTEM MIGHT BE AN ATOM OF OXYGEN.


Blog

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Cherry Kiss
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Re: Rant Thread

Postby Cherry Kiss » Tue Nov 18, 2008 5:17 pm UTC

lol that was cute
What they call love is a risk,
'Cause you will always get hit
Out of nowhere by some wave
And end up on your own.

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Re: Rant Thread

Postby thecommabandit » Tue Nov 18, 2008 5:20 pm UTC

Felltir wrote:The Cat.

You're awesome.

Really, really, really awesome.

Just not sure if you're human.

If he is a bot, he's a very unspammy, entertaining bot.
Image

The Cat

Re: Rant Thread

Postby The Cat » Tue Nov 18, 2008 5:26 pm UTC

I have already passed the Turing Test.

Me either. 3 left hooves.


However, that makes for a nice smooth lope (three beat gate). Always look at the positive :)

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Re: Rant Thread

Postby The Spherical Cow » Tue Nov 18, 2008 5:31 pm UTC

I'm not sure Turing foresaw a situation like The Cat.

The Cat

Re: Rant Thread

Postby The Cat » Tue Nov 18, 2008 5:33 pm UTC

Probably Not, how could he, he was a specialist, not a jack of all trades.

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Re: Rant Thread

Postby felltir » Tue Nov 18, 2008 5:35 pm UTC

The Cat wrote:I have already passed the Turing Test.

Me either. 3 left hooves.


However, that makes for a nice smooth lope (three beat gate). Always look at the positive :)


I am good at loping, it must be said.
Spoiler:
RoadieRich wrote:He's a super flexible furry martial artist from London. She is a Rabbit breeding mad scientist from Michigan. They fight crime!
The Great Hippo wrote:I THINK THE SOLAR SYSTEM MIGHT BE AN ATOM OF OXYGEN.


Blog

he/him/his

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Re: Rant Thread

Postby thecommabandit » Tue Nov 18, 2008 5:47 pm UTC

The Cat wrote:I have already passed the Turing Test.

...this is very ambiguous.
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The Cat

Re: Rant Thread

Postby The Cat » Tue Nov 18, 2008 5:53 pm UTC

Why whatever do you mean? I think that, dude, team euro is just getting a little gnarly with the whole bot screening process.

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Re: Rant Thread

Postby Jebobek » Tue Nov 18, 2008 5:54 pm UTC

Get the hell out of my bird feeders, squirrels. You must have 10 trees filled with birdseed by now. You don't even eat half of the type of seeds you hoard, assholes. Someone link a birdfeeder that claims to be "squirrel-proof" but also IS "squirrel-proof" by your own experience >.<
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Re: Rant Thread

Postby Cherry Kiss » Tue Nov 18, 2008 6:04 pm UTC

I hate when she talks to me like i know nothing about computers. I'M A FUCKING GRAPHIC DESIGNER!!!! I know what the hell i am doing. But no, she continues to sit there and ramble on about how its this and not that and how this is better and that is shit and shoving her knowledge in my face when she doesn't even really know much!!! goddddd you cant even measure properly! there is a major difference between 15/16 and 31/32, fucking moron!!
What they call love is a risk,
'Cause you will always get hit
Out of nowhere by some wave
And end up on your own.

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Re: Rant Thread

Postby Torvaun » Tue Nov 18, 2008 7:28 pm UTC

Jebobek wrote:Get the hell out of my bird feeders, squirrels. You must have 10 trees filled with birdseed by now. You don't even eat half of the type of seeds you hoard, assholes. Someone link a birdfeeder that claims to be "squirrel-proof" but also IS "squirrel-proof" by your own experience >.<
Here.
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Re: Rant Thread

Postby Quixotess » Tue Nov 18, 2008 7:41 pm UTC

emceng wrote:This is the problem of so many magic systems. It takes too much effort to be consistent, and many times authors don't plan ahead or worry about potential issues. With all the things in the HP universe, why didn't anyone just kill Voldemort? Oh, apparently he is 'too powerful' - and yet magic can do anything! It can make a car fly, hynotize people, etc. What stops some kid from stunning their parents because they don't want to do the dishes? What stops them from turning their sister into a newt? Or enchanting a book that you apparently can never stop reading?

Another one I like to joke about is the Force - especially in lightsaber duels. I think I would invent a new Force power - Force cock-punch. Use it, then stab the guy while he's laying on the ground holding his groin. Or hell, if you can choke someone, why not Force squeeze-some-vein-in-that-guy's-head,-giving-him-a-brain-aneurysm.

That's the problem with magic - no defined rules. There are many times things that involve action at a distance with no given limit on effects or requirements. The real world has physics. You know a bullet can only travel so far, and it shouldn't pierce a block wall. You know that if a car barrel-rolls down a hill, the driver is likely dead or horribly injured.

Bah! Just because it's magic doesn't mean it doesn't have rules. That's why they're called magic systems. Sure, you as the author get to make your own rules, but you as a non-crappy author are still going to make them. The superhero genre is a pretty good example of this. Each superhero has a certain set of powers - Superman will never shoot webs from his hands.

Of course, I prefer straight-up fantasy, where there's actually one coherent rationale for all the magic. (Not "this one got bitten by a spider, this one's from a different planet, this one got trapped in a lab experiment gone wrong.") It's like...new laws of physics. Still laws. Even Robert goddamn Jordan was able to come up with a system. It was a horribly cliche system with misogyny built into its very foundations, but it was there. Garth Nix had one of my favorite magic systems of all time with his Abhorsen series; Tamora Pierce figured out that magic costs energy; Philip Pullman had his Dust, and a powerful Subtle Knife that it was impossible to use safely. I like it when magic is dangerous (A Song of Ice and Fire) and difficult (Matilda) and tedious (Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell.)
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Re: Rant Thread

Postby kinigget » Tue Nov 18, 2008 7:57 pm UTC

Torvaun wrote:
Jebobek wrote:Get the hell out of my bird feeders, squirrels. You must have 10 trees filled with birdseed by now. You don't even eat half of the type of seeds you hoard, assholes. Someone link a birdfeeder that claims to be "squirrel-proof" but also IS "squirrel-proof" by your own experience >.<
Here.

that reminds me of one my friends, I once asked him what his problem was with small furry animals, he replied "I don't have a problem with them, you can throw rocks at them and they go eeek!".

good times.
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Re: Rant Thread

Postby Belial » Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:01 pm UTC

Torvaun wrote:
Jebobek wrote:Get the hell out of my bird feeders, squirrels. You must have 10 trees filled with birdseed by now. You don't even eat half of the type of seeds you hoard, assholes. Someone link a birdfeeder that claims to be "squirrel-proof" but also IS "squirrel-proof" by your own experience >.<
Here.


Just fill the bird feeder with dry dog food, french fries, and leftover bacon.

You'll never attract anything but crows and ravens and other scavengers from then on, but the squirrels won't bother you anymore......
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They/them

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Felstaff
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Re: Rant Thread

Postby Felstaff » Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:19 pm UTC

cthulhulives.jpg
It's a bird-feeder, and nary a squirrel in sight.
cthulhulives.jpg (32.95 KiB) Viewed 3622 times
Away, you scullion! you rampallion! You fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe.

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Re: Rant Thread

Postby Torvaun » Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:21 pm UTC

Quixotess wrote:Of course, I prefer straight-up fantasy, where there's actually one coherent rationale for all the magic. (Not "this one got bitten by a spider, this one's from a different planet, this one got trapped in a lab experiment gone wrong.") It's like...new laws of physics. Still laws. Even Robert goddamn Jordan was able to come up with a system. It was a horribly cliche system with misogyny built into its very foundations, but it was there. Garth Nix had one of my favorite magic systems of all time with his Abhorsen series; Tamora Pierce figured out that magic costs energy; Philip Pullman had his Dust, and a powerful Subtle Knife that it was impossible to use safely. I like it when magic is dangerous (A Song of Ice and Fire) and difficult (Matilda) and tedious (Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell.)
I recommend Pat Rothfuss' Name of the Wind. It has the most clearly defined rules for magic I've ever seen, and excellent writing. And the author actually knows what he's talking about, unlike fantasy authors who know nothing about combat or horses or anything like that, but write about it anyways.
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Re: Rant Thread

Postby Belial » Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:26 pm UTC

Felstaff, where did you find that shepherd's hook? I've been looking for a decently tall one for weeks now, and all I can find is a crappy 4 foot tall one at home depot.
addams wrote:A drunk neighbor is better than a sober Belial.


They/them

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Re: Rant Thread

Postby schwalord » Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:27 pm UTC

Spoiler:
Fuck you ubuntu, Fuck you! You work flawlessly on my netbook for a month but I get rid of the xp install that I am no longer using and the wireless breaks! Fuck You. I am not spending any more than a day trying to figure this out.

I do love ubuntu works great everywhere else except with my atheros card in my acer aspire one


spoiler for language.

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Re: Rant Thread

Postby Quixotess » Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:28 pm UTC

I recommend Pat Rothfuss' Name of the Wind. It has the most clearly defined rules for magic I've ever seen, and excellent writing.

Oh man, I was hoping for a book recommendation out of that. Sweet deal, thanks!

fantasy authors who know nothing about combat or horses or anything like that, but write about it anyways.

Have you seen The Fantasy Novelist's Exam?

(It's totally on-topic. I'm linking to a rant in the form of an exam.)
Raise up the torch and light the way.

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Re: Rant Thread

Postby kinigget » Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:37 pm UTC

I'll go ahead and hand out another recommendation then: The Tales of the Malazan Book of the Fallen series by stephen erickson. Not only does it have one of the most interesting magic systems around, the limits are clearly defined, (though rather frequently being broken due to extreme circumstances.) and it's clear that magic is physically draining. There are other things I could say about those books but that's a topic for another thread.

edit: heh, Pi post.
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Re: Rant Thread

Postby bigglesworth » Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:39 pm UTC

Heh. I like talking about plate maille, to see people twitch.
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Re: Rant Thread

Postby Torvaun » Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:45 pm UTC

No, no I hadn't. Out of the 74 questions, only one and a half apply. First, it's book one of a planned trilogy. Except it was originally written as one big ass-book, and the editor said "Couldn't you split this thing up? We don't need to give your readers hernias." The other is the forgetful wizard, who isn't so much forgetful as off his rocker, and it's kinda implied to be related to the holy crap kinds of power he has at his command.
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Re: Rant Thread

Postby Lolsaur » Tue Nov 18, 2008 8:50 pm UTC

I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING TALK TO YOU.

Please stop asking me about my job hunt - if there is news about it, I'll fucking tell you! I don't fucking care about your fucking computer games and fucking PS3's. I've never fucking played those games so I don't know what the fuck you are on about. I don't have any fucking games consoles so don't get me embroiled in your fucking fanboy arguments about them.

Don't act all fucking smug you've got a job - you think I like having no fucking money, which means I can't fucking do anything besides sit in the house and scaff a train fair on occasion from my parents?

WHEN I SAY "same as before" WHAT DO YOU THINK IT FUCKING MEANS!??!?!

NO, I STILL HAVE NO JOB! WOOPDEY FUCKING DOO!!

I don't fucking care what you think - I would just not talk to you, but I'm too fucking polite to do it, let alone block you on MSN.

Fucking fucktard.
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This cosy, special made for this Teapot

Spoiler:
You've never looked better than you did that night
And your eyes have never looked so blue
And when we kissed it was like nothing else existed
As time stood still for me and you

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Re: Rant Thread

Postby Teapot » Tue Nov 18, 2008 9:36 pm UTC

*hugs*
Sorry I didn't reply earlier, I was doing my washing.

Don't listen to him, he's just being an asshole. Besides, he works in Somerfields. And he's proud of it. Who the hell would want to work there?
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Re: Rant Thread

Postby blue_eyedspacemonkey » Tue Nov 18, 2008 9:40 pm UTC

Teapot wrote:*hugs*
Sorry I didn't reply earlier, I was doing my washing.

Don't listen to him, he's just being an asshole. Besides, he works in Somerfields. And he's proud of it. Who the hell would want to work there?
Indeed, Scummerfields doesn't look like a pretty place to work, great place to shop, as is cheap, but not to work, mainly because they are always filled with skanky students like yours truly :P

Rant: No, I haven't finished yet, because what you're asking me to do (build a database), in not only out of my field, but also your making me use MS Access...2007 edition. Oh, and it has to stand up to outside scrutiny by an expert. So, like, no pressure or anything.....
"Nowadays most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one's mistakes"

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Re: Rant Thread

Postby Benfrenchman » Tue Nov 18, 2008 9:59 pm UTC

The Will and the Word from David and Leigh Eddings books was always fun. There was some mild sort of draining when you used it, but mostly the people who used it were basically gods and wandered around fixing everything that happened in the world so it happened like it was supposed to.

And the Cat. Don't think he's a bot, because he can't talk like he did in the old days. It's a treat for the Cat but it's also pretty hard for the farmers in the fields. Wasps have no knees, they just have boots.

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Re: Rant Thread

Postby nightlina » Tue Nov 18, 2008 10:58 pm UTC

Synthuir wrote:...angry stuff about schools...


Synthuir - that sounds really bizarre having some sort of split school system. How does it actually work? And didn't they even consider students with siblings in other classes when they thought it up? It would have killed my family - four kids all in a different level of schooling would mean 8 trips in a day to get everyone there and home again.... As if that would save money on petrol/gas ><

I'm all with you - that sounds absolutely ridiculous. Hopefully they'll come to their senses soon and put it back the way it should be...
Image

The Cat

Re: Rant Thread

Postby The Cat » Tue Nov 18, 2008 11:34 pm UTC

And the Cat. Don't think he's a bot, because he can't talk like he did in the old days. It's a treat for the Cat but it's also pretty hard for the farmers in the fields. Wasps have no knees, they just have boots.


My most sincere apologies to the farmers. I could go a few directions with the Wasps :?


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