Apologies to Quixotess, but a quick run-down of each point may suggest that a flawed parent is not necessarily a detestable monster.
- 1. Charging for chores - this is strict discipline and merely fiduciary punishment. Way to avoid the 'random' charge? Do the chores.
- 2. Making your child run menial tasks - this may be considered laziness, but possibly more (I suspect) down to enforcing authority upon your children
- 3. Wrong vacuum bags - lack of admittance in the face of clear mistakery could suggest unwillingness to show 'weakness' in front of children; like above, authority is valued higher than sorrow.
- 4. Not replacing essentials, but squandering money on luxuries - Um, it's her money? Preaching pennywise behaviour but not practising it may be hypocritical, but her advice is sound. Ask anyone who has to work for cash to afford to live; frivolities are rare unless you're raking it in. My sofa was shred to fuckery, but I couldn't go out and afford to replace it. Yet I did buy an iPod.
- 5. Verbal punishment for misbehaviour ('I can't wait until you leave') - this is very cold. But what exactly did you 'do wrong' to receive this riposte? And why do you do wrong on such a frequent basis? Perhaps by not being in the wrong so frequently, you would not be subject to such damaging words.
- 6. Catcher on the dryer broke, resulting in constant temporary repairs - a minor annoyance/inconvenience that I doubt can be construed as anything but a humorous anecdote for later years.
- 7. Physical violence - this is reprehensible
- 8. Lost paycheck - You lost your paycheck. She's makes an example of your idiocy (perhaps taking it to extreme measures). Bet you'll never lose your paycheck again, eh? Quite a valuable lesson learned.
- 9. Bringing men home, scaring your slumber party - it's her house, am I right?
- 10. 'I'm not $contributing to your education' - this may be considered mean. Do you have a right to that money? Your father & grandfather are contributing, which is two more people than I had contributing. I just worked for a year so I could pay my own fees, however our education systems may differ somewhat.
So anyway, an imperfect parent, but not one everyone can suddenly show hatred for based on ten vague sentences. (Barring one of them of course, and that's only if you regard corporal punishment as bad)
1) if it has happened 5 times in her entire life, then the times are way to far and few between to be at all predictable. With no predictability, there can be no avoidance. Unless you want to basically kiss ass and do everything all the time, in which case quixotess would likely receive more and more chores until it became ridiculous (cause it would be so easy for her mom to assign them)
2) this does not seem like authority. authority is ensuring that rules are followed, and respect is shown. Authority is not "fetch, I'm on the couch". That is ridiculous.
3) such an obvious mistake cannot be dismissed. this isn't authority, this is ridiculous pride or simple laziness.
4) her advice is not sound (based on her reasoning of "boring or old to you") as it is clearly broken and in need of replacement. Her money, yes, but it also isn't consistent with the $300 thing
5) the statement of "I hope you leave" is intolerable coming from a parent. They are supposed to value you and show respect for you, and for them to say "I don't want you here" is incredibly damaging. It also seems like her outbursts are totally random, and not based on any disrespect or broken rules.
7) Yes, it is reprehensible
Actually, she did make the same mistake again, the next month. The screaming accomplished nothing. Also, a lost paycheck is a lesson in and of itself. If she had lost her mom's money it would be a different story, but it wasn't, it was hers.
9) with a house full of teenage daughters, the mother should not be bringing home older men. common sense, eh? and also the other parents thought the same.
10) meh, I will be paying every cent of my college education from loans. So I kind of agree with felstaff.