Gender Identity and me.

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

Moderators: Moderators General, Prelates, Magistrates

Rehash
Posts: 55
Joined: Thu Aug 28, 2008 8:53 pm UTC

Gender Identity and me.

Postby Rehash » Tue Sep 16, 2008 8:21 am UTC

I don't have one. Simple as that.

I have no attachment to either gender roll and I constantly find myself the underdog because of it. I don't take after the alpha-female/male role in any situation because I don't have outstanding features in either direction. I've spent forever trying to forge some identity from / into my gender, and it's roll in my life, but I consistently find myself putting it on the back burners and forgetting about it.


I'm happily married to someone who shares this gender neutral relationship. Equal obligations and commitments from both sides are accepted, and really help create such a strong basis for our relationship that I can't imagine how it would function otherwise, but I've run into so many problems with the outside world accepting a relationship based on those standards. (e.g. People love to tell me that, while equal, men and women are different, and me "ignoring" that fact is just going to lead to problems.) While it's easy to point fingers at others and criticize, I find myself without problems in my relationship for the most part, while all around me I see a constant struggle between men and women to reach a middle ground that they can agree on. Perhaps I'm crazy.

The question is, does anyone share this with me? I feel very alone in this view, and even more isolated because it is met with such a frenzy of people trying to correct me, the most virulent voices belonging to my feminist friends. What are your viewpoints on gender roles in general, and specifically in relationships?
--UmVoYXNoKCk7

User avatar
Hawknc
Oompa Loompa of SCIENCE!
Posts: 6986
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2006 5:14 am UTC
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby Hawknc » Tue Sep 16, 2008 8:52 am UTC

I know the gender identities here range well outside the usual male/female options here, so I'd say you're not unique or alone in that respect. As far as gender roles in relationships...they are what you want them to be, IMO. There's no should or must about genders and responsibilities in relationships, as far as I'm concerned it is exclusively the domain of the people in them to determine who has what responsibilities.

User avatar
AngrySquirrel
Hellish Sex Goddess
Posts: 1005
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2008 10:26 am UTC
Location: The Northpole

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby AngrySquirrel » Tue Sep 16, 2008 9:20 am UTC

You are not alone.

I don't identify with any gender. Males are too...male and females are too...female.

I am tired of people telling me how I should be. No matter who I deal with I am "wrong". I should accept that I am a girl and because of that I must like girl things, and me doing other typical "male" actions means I am just surpressing my femininity. I am told to be myself, but if I am, it is the wrong myself. I am told that there are certain genetic differences between males and females, and I need to accept that. I also need to accept that there is nothing wrong with being female and that girls are just better with other things than boys. Yet I don't feel like these things apply to me. It don't fit. I don't understand boys, and I don't understand girls. People are telling me that if I am gonna act so much like a boy I should just change genders. But I am not acting like a boy, I am acting like me.
Putting the fist into pacifist.

they/them/theirs

Rehash
Posts: 55
Joined: Thu Aug 28, 2008 8:53 pm UTC

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby Rehash » Tue Sep 16, 2008 9:33 am UTC

I was told by a therapist, when I brought up the topic of gender reassignment, that "I should just redefine" what my gender role is, it's much easier in the long run.
--UmVoYXNoKCk7

crowey
That's DOCTOR Crowey, to you
Posts: 1603
Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2008 10:52 pm UTC
Location: UK

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby crowey » Tue Sep 16, 2008 9:38 am UTC

@ Rehash,
By gender identity do you mean the stereotypical "blue for boys, pink for girls" thing? Or actually whether you identify as male/female.
They are two different things IMO.

I like typically manly things so I'm not a typical girly girl, I also like some girly things, so I'm not a total tomboy either.
I still identify as female because that's what my bits are, and I feel like that's right.

Not conforming to gender stereotypes=/=not having a gender identity.

Also, if people tell you you're not a proper man unless you like powertools and beer and huntin'shootin'fishin' and treating your wife like a servant, then those people are idiots.

Rehash
Posts: 55
Joined: Thu Aug 28, 2008 8:53 pm UTC

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby Rehash » Tue Sep 16, 2008 9:49 am UTC

crowey wrote:@ Rehash,
By gender identity do you mean the stereotypical "blue for boys, pink for girls" thing? Or actually whether you identify as male/female.
They are two different things IMO.

I like typically manly things so I'm not a typical girly girl, I also like some girly things, so I'm not a total tomboy either.
I still identify as female because that's what my bits are, and I feel like that's right.

Not conforming to gender stereotypes=/=not having a gender identity.

Also, if people tell you you're not a proper man unless you like powertools and beer and huntin'shootin'fishin' and treating your wife like a servant, then those people are idiots.


I feel like there is a bit more gray area than you're allocating to the issue, but I get your point. I don't consider myself to be a member of my gender mentally. Physically I am still obviously identifiable, but I don't follow any of the biological norms for that specific gender. (I'm sorry for using so many pronouns at this point. I'm withholding my gender on purpose.) I am attracted to both genders, and only restrict myself to one as I'm in a monogamous relationship. I've had relationships with both in the past.

The gray area I'm talking about becomes very apparent when you bring up topics like childbirth and raising children. People often comment that genders have / lack certain nuances - and give so much credit to those differences that they blame social development, and lack thereof, on a missing gender role. (i.e. "He was raised without a father-figure, what do you expect?" ) Obviously, the stereotypes aside, there is legitimate credit given to gender roles in today's society.

I hope that cleared up my point for you.
--UmVoYXNoKCk7

Joeldi
Posts: 1055
Joined: Sat Feb 17, 2007 1:49 am UTC
Location: Central Queensland, Australia
Contact:

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby Joeldi » Tue Sep 16, 2008 10:12 am UTC

I have little interest in the typical things on either end of the scale, although I find myself perfectly male. I can say that I've had a gut full of people telling me I'm wrong in thinking that men and women "aren't necessarily different". I think, perhaps that father figures and the like are important in developing certain things, but the qualities that fathers are expected to embody are only occasionally going to come from a father.
I already have a hate thread. Necromancy > redundancy here, so post there.

roc314 wrote:America is a police state that communicates in txt speak...

"i hav teh dissentors brb""¡This cheese is burning me! u pwnd them bff""thx ur cool 2"

crowey
That's DOCTOR Crowey, to you
Posts: 1603
Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2008 10:52 pm UTC
Location: UK

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby crowey » Tue Sep 16, 2008 10:21 am UTC

Rehash wrote:[The gray area I'm talking about becomes very apparent when you bring up topics like childbirth and raising children. People often comment that genders have / lack certain nuances - and give so much credit to those differences that they blame social development, and lack thereof, on a missing gender role. (i.e. "He was raised without a father-figure, what do you expect?" ) Obviously, the stereotypes aside, there is legitimate credit given to gender roles in today's society.

I hope that cleared up my point for you.


Hmmm, I think I see what you mean, but I think I disagree (in general, not about your specific situation-I don't know enough to comment)
There are physical differences between genders, men can't get pregnant, to pick an obvious one. The rest I think is pretty malleable.
I don't think that just because people say things about gender roles that they are correct.
To take your example: A boy raised without a father figure. I'd bet the vast majority of boys with no father figure turn out within the boundaries of what is considered normal. If that boy was gay, you'd get some people blaming that on lack of a father figure. Do you think they are correct?

Beyond the obvious biological gender roles, I think all the rest are stereotypes. Some more damaging than others, but stereotypes none the less.
Because of the conformist society we live in, and that we've all been raised with those stereotypes around us and accepted them as normal I can understand why people have issues when they (or others) don't fit to that model. BUT I don't think that it's a problem if (to pick a really basic example)a man wants to wear dresses and makeup and stay at home to raise the kids, while his wife goes to work on a building site. It might not be what other people expect, but if it works, who cares?

Having re-read that, it sounds like I'm dismissing any transgender issues people have as social constructs or something. I don't mean it like that, just that people don't have to fit to gender norms to still be a part of that half of the race....

Rehash
Posts: 55
Joined: Thu Aug 28, 2008 8:53 pm UTC

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby Rehash » Tue Sep 16, 2008 10:34 am UTC

I was a bit vague when I brought up the topic of childbirth, I apologize for that. I agree entirely with your second response, Crowley.
--UmVoYXNoKCk7

User avatar
Quixotess
No. Cookies.
Posts: 3243
Joined: Mon May 28, 2007 7:26 am UTC
Contact:

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby Quixotess » Tue Sep 16, 2008 10:40 am UTC

Rehash, I...don't think you're crazy. I haven't heard of people who are gender neutral before, but for what little it's worth, it makes sense to me.

Rehash wrote:I'm happily married to someone who shares this gender neutral relationship. Equal obligations and commitments from both sides are accepted, and really help create such a strong basis for our relationship that I can't imagine how it would function otherwise, but I've run into so many problems with the outside world accepting a relationship based on those standards.

Of course, a relationship between a man and a woman can be all of those things too, equal responsibilities and no expectations for either person to do things in a way that is traditionally expected of their gender.

crowey wrote:Beyond the obvious biological gender roles,

Erm, gender roles are not biological. Sex is biological, and is the reproduction/sexual dimorphism deal. Gender is a social construct; so are gender roles. You can say "it is the role of a female to get pregnant" and that's technically true but not generally what people mean when they're talking sex and gender.
Raise up the torch and light the way.

crowey
That's DOCTOR Crowey, to you
Posts: 1603
Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2008 10:52 pm UTC
Location: UK

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby crowey » Tue Sep 16, 2008 3:33 pm UTC

Quixotess wrote:
crowey wrote:Beyond the obvious biological gender roles,

Erm, gender roles are not biological. Sex is biological, and is the reproduction/sexual dimorphism deal. Gender is a social construct; so are gender roles. You can say "it is the role of a female to get pregnant" and that's technically true but not generally what people mean when they're talking sex and gender.


Aw shit, I always get those mixed around.
Yes, I mean "apart from the obvious biological differences between sexes". Which I'd have thought was kind of obvious given the context of that sentence....

User avatar
Jessica
Jessica, you're a ...
Posts: 8337
Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2007 8:57 pm UTC
Location: Soviet Canuckistan

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby Jessica » Tue Sep 16, 2008 3:57 pm UTC

I wish you luck in your androgenous life :D

Personally, though my sex was male, my mental gender is female. For me, transition was the only option. well, the only option which allows me to continue living past 2010. I'm currently taking hormones, and it's good.

But, I understand not getting your born sex, or the roles that are supposed to go with it. I'm not saying that I understand fully what it's like to not be either, but I understand the feeling of not being "normal".

Again, I wish you luck in your path in life. Being androgenous, or genderqueer, or whatever you want to label yourself (sorry for applying a label to you) isn't easy. But if it's right for you, then it's right.
doogly wrote:On a scale of Mr Rogers to Fascism, how mean do you think we're being?
Belial wrote:My goal is to be the best brain infection any of you have ever had.

Rehash
Posts: 55
Joined: Thu Aug 28, 2008 8:53 pm UTC

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby Rehash » Tue Sep 16, 2008 4:51 pm UTC

Jessica wrote:I wish you luck in your androgenous life :D

Personally, though my sex was male, my mental gender is female. For me, transition was the only option. well, the only option which allows me to continue living past 2010. I'm currently taking hormones, and it's good.

But, I understand not getting your born sex, or the roles that are supposed to go with it. I'm not saying that I understand fully what it's like to not be either, but I understand the feeling of not being "normal".

Again, I wish you luck in your path in life. Being androgenous, or genderqueer, or whatever you want to label yourself (sorry for applying a label to you) isn't easy. But if it's right for you, then it's right.


I can't lie - I'm slightly envious that you were able to identify with a single gender. I looked into transition and I understand what a long a difficult process it must be. Just out of curiosity, how are you doing with it? (I know you said good, but I'm very curious.) It's also nice to have someone able to empathize, and not sympathize, with a lack of, or opposite, gender identity and the confusion that it entails. I guess if I had to pick a label I think androgynous would be it.
--UmVoYXNoKCk7

User avatar
Jessica
Jessica, you're a ...
Posts: 8337
Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2007 8:57 pm UTC
Location: Soviet Canuckistan

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby Jessica » Tue Sep 16, 2008 5:07 pm UTC

You don't have to pick a label, if you don't want to.

My transition - It's going well. I've come out to everyone. I've been on estrogen/anti-androgens for almost a year. I've had my beard removed with laser. Seeing a doctor and a therapist...

Best part is, that I've had very few stumbling blocks. Pretty much everyone I've told has been supportive. And some have completely accepted me as female. It feels good to be thought of as a woman, and not some guy in a dress.

There are others here who also empathize.
doogly wrote:On a scale of Mr Rogers to Fascism, how mean do you think we're being?
Belial wrote:My goal is to be the best brain infection any of you have ever had.

User avatar
Amarantha
Posts: 1638
Joined: Tue Nov 27, 2007 4:56 am UTC
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby Amarantha » Tue Sep 16, 2008 11:20 pm UTC

My gender identity: "bloke with tits" :mrgreen:
omgryebread wrote:...if I'm watching a fantasy, I want my princess to stab some motherfuckers, claim the crown herself, then invade the prince's kingdom and sleep with his sister.

User avatar
Elvish Pillager
Posts: 1009
Joined: Mon Aug 04, 2008 9:58 pm UTC
Location: Everywhere you think, nowhere you can possibly imagine.
Contact:

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby Elvish Pillager » Tue Sep 16, 2008 11:42 pm UTC

I'm right with Rehash. No gender identity, never had one. What's the use? If I had one, I'd probably kill it.

The difference is that I've never felt like this was a problem. "Peer pressure" just bores me.
Also known as Eli Dupree. Check out elidupree.com for my comics, games, and other work.

GENERATION A(g64, g64): Social experiment. Take the busy beaver function of the generation number and add it to your signature.

User avatar
electronic mily
Posts: 113
Joined: Thu Aug 21, 2008 3:41 pm UTC
Contact:

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby electronic mily » Wed Sep 17, 2008 3:02 am UTC

Gender identity is a strange topic. I don't even pretend to know how it works - it's one of those things that I'm dimly aware of but have never actually applied to myself, so I don't really know how to talk about it. In my everyday life I think I tend to ignore gender completely.

Personally, here is how I feel. I am a girl. I've got the defining equipment, so I figure I fit the bill. Do I "identify" as a girl? Apparently not, because I honestly don't know what that means. Nor do I identify in the other direction - I'm fine with the way I'm built, but it doesn't "define" me any further than chromosomes and the way I look on the inside. Online I have a kind of unconscious tendency to present myself as a vague, genderless entity (with the exception of the picture, of course). I could go around making sure everyone knew I was a girl, correcting them if they got it wrong, but I don't - it just doesn't matter.

User avatar
InstinctSage
Posts: 1012
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2008 2:19 am UTC
Location: Australia

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby InstinctSage » Wed Sep 17, 2008 3:11 am UTC

I'm somewhat envious also. I wouldn't say I'm gender neutral; I swing like a pendulum, perhaps not so predictably though. Yet I'm heterosexual, so I'd say I'm weighted to one side. I can never really be sure whether what I feel one day or another would be anything like what Jessica feels, or what Rehash feels, so I don't know, but it's certainly nothing I can simply ignore.

There seems to be many more variables than the labels attributed to them cover.
nightlina wrote:We get stick insects here.. they're pretty cool and stick-like.

User avatar
Weeks
Hey Baby, wanna make a fortnight?
Posts: 2023
Joined: Sat Aug 23, 2008 12:41 am UTC
Location: Ciudad de Panamá, Panamá

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby Weeks » Sun Sep 21, 2008 3:48 am UTC

This topic is, I believe, well-suited for Serious Business.
I'd like to think gender is, as has been stated, a social construct. Stereotypes are bad too. I grew up in a society where machismo is widely accepted/encouraged. I think "being straight" has nothing to do with treating your wife like a servant.

I don't think you're crazy at all! It's probably just because it's not too common or well-defined in society. People need to be more open-minded.
TaintedDeity wrote:Tainted Deity
suffer-cait wrote:One day I'm gun a go visit weeks and discover they're just a computer in a trashcan at an ice cream shop.
Dthen wrote:FUCK CHRISTMAS FUCK EVERYTHING FUCK YOU TOO FUCK OFF

Rehash
Posts: 55
Joined: Thu Aug 28, 2008 8:53 pm UTC

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby Rehash » Mon Sep 22, 2008 10:15 am UTC

Nah, avoiding SB for a while.
--UmVoYXNoKCk7

User avatar
misskwiz
Posts: 96
Joined: Wed Mar 21, 2007 6:19 am UTC

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby misskwiz » Mon Sep 22, 2008 11:22 am UTC

I'm a transgender pan/anthro/omnisexual. And um, thus far it's pretty awesome. I can't wait till I have to tell my parents though, That will be fun :?.

Will I transition though? I hope so, I want to, but, I don't think I need to, and it's bugging the hell out of me. *small sigh*

... how much trouble is it for a mod to change someone's name? Is it a davean only thing? because having misskwiz instead of misterkwiz would be awesome >_>
I am currently enjoying the pathetic anger bread of a dissatisfied life.

Rehash
Posts: 55
Joined: Thu Aug 28, 2008 8:53 pm UTC

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby Rehash » Mon Sep 22, 2008 1:04 pm UTC

I think there is a strong difference between sexual orientation and gender identity. I would go as far as to say the two are only related as far as they both have slight relation to the bits and pieces downstairs.
--UmVoYXNoKCk7

User avatar
Esperite
Posts: 447
Joined: Tue Aug 18, 2009 1:35 am UTC
Location: The Internet

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby Esperite » Sat Aug 22, 2009 3:51 am UTC

I know what its like to be confused about gender identity. Until a couple months ago, I didn't really think much of it. I am (biologically) male, but recently I've been trying to find out how I feel, and what I am comfortable identifying as. I've generally done mostly male past times, but at the same time I have always been attracted to female ones, and its mostly been a subtle peer-pressure that has made me lean in one direction.
I hope you disover how you feel, I know I'm trying to find myself right now. From my experience, it is incredibly hard to view how you feel. My main difficulty lies in being objective in viewing my emotions (That sounds like a paradox, I know), because I tend to latch onto thoughts and ideas, so I want to find out how I feel without my superficial (compared to the deep 'who I am' emotions) making it hard for me to find myself. I think that talking about gender issues is definately a great way to discover yourself, and a (reletively) anonymous forum is a safe way to discuss this. It is definately helping me, talking to other people about this and putting my thoughts into words (and then reading them later) definately clears things up.
Good luck, I hope you get comfortable in who you are!
"A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it."
— Oscar Wilde

User avatar
Josephine
Posts: 2142
Joined: Wed Apr 08, 2009 5:53 am UTC

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby Josephine » Sat Aug 22, 2009 4:49 am UTC

Esperite, I know exactly that. To the exact detail. Up until a few months ago, I identified as male. Then something hit me. So many subtle characteristics of me are more female than male. I thought nothing of my envy of the vast variety of female clothing choices for so long. Every one of my friends has been female from a very young age. So many more things I won't list here. I've always felt something missing. I'm going to assume this is it.

Also, this post is the first time I've outright said this. Anywhere. I've left a few subtle hints of it here and there on the fora, but nothing else. It's not nearly as powerful in my mind as Jessica, but it's still there. I have no idea what to do about it.


Also, one more thing. These fora are the greatest concentration of people outside the binary I've ever seen. It truly is amazing. And somewhat comforting.
Belial wrote:Listen, what I'm saying is that he committed a felony with a zoo animal.

User avatar
Incompetent
Posts: 396
Joined: Mon May 26, 2008 12:08 pm UTC
Location: Brussels

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby Incompetent » Sat Aug 22, 2009 7:58 am UTC

I'm male but I don't think maleness is a significant part of my identity. There are various things I could say about my personality and behaviour, but I wouldn't see the point in classifying them as 'masculine' or 'feminine' - I find the phrase 'getting in touch with your feminine side' rather wearisome (and why aren't women said to have a 'masculine side'?). I don't see why a list of personality traits should determine which gender I ought to belong to or vice versa. If my gender role in society suddenly changed to female, I'd probably face discrimination for not behaving in a 'feminine' way, but in and of itself it wouldn't bother me to be referred to as 'she'. I probably have more common experience with the average male in my social circle than with the average female, but beyond that I don't identify with other men any more than with women.

Actually, this is something I wonder about. It seems that relatively few people identify with the opposite biological sex strongly enough to want to switch. But for the cisgendered majority, how strongly do they identify on average? Could it be that a large minority don't actually care very much either way, and are only cisgendered by default as it were?

popprocks
Posts: 70
Joined: Wed Dec 24, 2008 5:18 am UTC

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby popprocks » Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:44 am UTC

I'm male but I don't think maleness is a significant part of my identity.


I would identify myself with that phrase flawlessly.

I side more with the OP on this one; neither my gender nor anybody else's gender is of ANY consequence to me. I don't see any point in treating myself like a male just because I am, or to treat myself like a female just because I don't specifically identify myself with masculinity. Nor do I think it is a good idea to treat somebody else like a male/female just because THEY are. Why can't we behave amongst ourselves despite negligible sex characteristics? I will treat you like a human, you treat me like a human, throw gender out the window.

I wouldn't really go so far to call myself mentally genderless, but for all intents and purposes, my world has no genders, just people. Saying that I consider myself to be genderless would be just as fallacious as saying I consider myself male. I only want to label myself "me," and all else follows. Labels only serve to provide a set of stereotypes to fulfill.

User avatar
Bobber
contains Disodium Phosphate
Posts: 1357
Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2008 2:09 pm UTC
Location: Holme, Denmark.
Contact:

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby Bobber » Sat Aug 22, 2009 11:45 am UTC

I believe that growing up and going to male-only schools has made me act the same towards and around both genders no matter how powerful sexually attracted I may feel toward a female's physique and/or personality. I think this is one of my better personality traits, and I do have several friends of both genders (a few more males, but I think that is only because I have known more males in my life, not because of a preference).

I feel completely male, am completely heterosexual, and accept anybody else's so-called "deviating" sexuality without prejudice. I wish everyone else were able to feel as comfortable with their gender and sexuality and be as unprejudiced towards others as I.
The best of luck to all of you pansexuals/intergenders!
I don't twist the truth, I just make it complex.
mrbaggins wrote:There are two tools in life, duct tape and WD40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD40.

User avatar
Flagpole Sitta
Posts: 408
Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2008 1:27 pm UTC
Location: luminiferous æther
Contact:

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby Flagpole Sitta » Sat Aug 22, 2009 4:23 pm UTC

I think everyone needs to find their own balance in life and in relationships. As long as the people involved in a particular relationship use plenty of communication and are honest with themselves and their partners I think any gender identity and configuration can work and is appropriate.

I have been thinking about my gender a lot lately, actually, and I do feel a bit confused on my identity. I can't come up with an objective definition of what a woman is, or what a man is. If someone identifies themselves as a man, a woman or neither I am happy to take their word for it, and I do my best to treat them as their gender. This suggests a completely internal definition of gender, but when I try to define why I am a woman almost everything comes from external or biological sources.

What I mean is that there are many woman who do not menstruate and who are not able to give birth and who do not have breasts. These are not the reasons I am a woman. I am, also, not a woman because I sometimes wear dresses or because I am socially expected to wear make up and shave my legs or because many men talk down to me and touch me possessively. So, why am I woman? Is the difference between Woman and Not Woman completely cultural, or is there something inherent? If I can not objectively define Woman am I even a woman? I find it all very confusing.

Anyway, I've been thinking about cross-dressing as a way to explore my gender identity and to challenge other people in their assumptions of gender, but I'm really very feminine looking and I'm not sure how to go about it.
Poxic is, like, awesome. She's my favorite.

Kapojinha is pretty awesome too. <3

User avatar
ponzerelli
Posts: 108
Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2007 4:40 pm UTC
Contact:

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby ponzerelli » Sat Aug 22, 2009 4:39 pm UTC

misskwiz wrote:I'm a [...] pan/anthro/omnisexual.


I never knew that term and never knew how to describe myself. I hated "bisexual" because that implies that i divide the people i'm attracted to into "male" and "female", but I don't really observe gender at all. Thank you for giving that link.

User avatar
mypsychoticself
Posts: 166
Joined: Mon May 26, 2008 11:07 pm UTC
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Contact:

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby mypsychoticself » Tue Aug 25, 2009 2:48 am UTC

Check out AVEN (the asexuality visibility and support network). While you may not be asexual, you might find other people in a similar situation to yours.
I knew that we had suffered each as other,
And could have grasped your hand and cried, "My brother!"

User avatar
DJorgensen
Posts: 1503
Joined: Tue Feb 19, 2008 9:24 pm UTC
Location: A small reality, fractured from this one.
Contact:

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby DJorgensen » Fri Aug 28, 2009 7:17 pm UTC

For all intents and purposes of the word, I am female.
My identity is rather on a middle ground, but I am very uncomfortable being physically male. Hormones have helped me with that greatly.

As for where I will end up with it, only time will tell I suppose.
Last edited by Belial on Fri Aug 28, 2009 7:51 pm UTC, edited 2 times in total.
Reason: Oh gods sorry that one just always drives me nuts
trap: a device in which something (usually an animal) can be caught and penned.

User avatar
Esperite
Posts: 447
Joined: Tue Aug 18, 2009 1:35 am UTC
Location: The Internet

Re: Gender Identity and me.

Postby Esperite » Thu Sep 10, 2009 1:46 am UTC

I'm still struggling to find out how I really feel and what I indentify with. It's hard for me to find out, though, because I can't easily experiment around and I'm seemingly at a metaphorical brick wall. I'd like to just try being a girl for a day, or even just a couple hours, to find out how I feel about it, but I don't have any easy ways to do that. I'd tell my mom, but I still feel too uncertain to talk about it to someone I know comfortably.
I have also been more aware of how people at school think about similar subjects, and I talked to my best friend about his views. I never asked him what he thought of my situation directly, but he is fine with gays and I can tell he would be accepting by his overall views, which has made me feel better. This fora has also been very helpful to me. Everyone has been very accepting, alot of people are in similar situations, and overall it is just a supportive community I can talk openly too.

An inquiry to people who have been in similar situations:
Spoiler:
How much has passing as the desired (or questioning) sex taught you about how you identitfy? Do you just feel it, or is it something else? I just really want to know how much it helped you find where your gender identity lies. I've been thinking about trying to go out somewhere and pass as a girl, but I'm uncertain about how much it will help and how to best do it if I decide it's worth it.
"A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it."
— Oscar Wilde


Return to “General”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 28 guests