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I Have 850 Gumballs (FREE GUMBALLS, P. 2!!)

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 12:54 am UTC
by Mr. Beck
Yesterday, a friend of mine got me a gigantic box of gumballs as a gag gift.
I mean really, fucking gigantic. It weighs maybe 12 pounds, and the box says that it contains 850 gumballs. Clearly it's intended for companies to restock vending machines with.
Clearly, I'm not going to eat all of them. What should I do with em?

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 12:58 am UTC
by Ramses IV
1. Buy more
2. Wait for them to become valuable
3. Sell them
4. Profit!
5. Find a way to put ????? in 3. without ruining the plan.

Or, you could buy a trenchcoat and fill the pockets with gumballs and walk around town delivering fistfuls of the goodies. Then you could go "hehehehe" and run away.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:01 am UTC
by lowbart
Ramses IV wrote:1. Buy more
2. Wait for them to become valuable
3. Sell them
4. ?????
5. Profit!


Fixed.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:06 am UTC
by Ramses IV
lowbart wrote:Fixed.


But by selling them, wouldn't you be getting profit already? Why the need for a ??????

Also, an amendment to the trenchcoat idea: give them only to children.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:16 am UTC
by Mr.RobLikesBrunch
MINI EDIBLE BALL-PIT!

Or, alternatively, you could make some little kid really really really happy....and then not so happy a few hours later.

By the way Mr. Beck, is your name a reference to the artist, or is that just a coincidence?

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:23 am UTC
by 4=5
mail them to me

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:26 am UTC
by Ramses IV
There's an idea. Mail small packages of gumballs (maybe 5 or 6) to different people in your neighborhood. Just random people. Your postmaster will probably think you're running a drug cartel.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 1:33 am UTC
by Peter_G
pics or it didn't happen

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 2:01 am UTC
by _V_
Drop them somewhere extremely odd, like off an overpass, or in the middle of a school hallway, or in a swimming pool.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 2:10 am UTC
by 0range
Roll them down a huge flight of stairs? You probably shouldn't do it when people are on the stairs, but I would.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 2:10 am UTC
by Lord Aurora
There's a Foxtrot comic strip story in which Jason and his dad enter a father-son chess tournament and Jason gets $50. He spends it on 5,000 gumballs. I'll find it for you if I can. I think he ends up eating them all and then getting a cavity.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 2:23 am UTC
by '; DROP DATABASE;--
Plant them in random places around town/campus/etc.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 2:24 am UTC
by Baza210
Re-enact the Sony Bravia ad.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 3:48 am UTC
by tmcfulton
Don't shave or shower for a week, wear a trenchcoat, go to a park, and give them out to small children.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 4:19 am UTC
by RealGrouchy
and/or use it as a creepy pickup line.

"Hey there, I've got 850 sweet, sweet balls. Want to suck them for me?"

- RG>

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 4:33 am UTC
by BoomFrog
As you pass them out sing (or play a recording of) chef's chocolate salty balls song. If possible replace "chocolate salty" with "sticky gooey"

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 4:56 am UTC
by Mr. Beck
Ramses IV wrote:...3. Sell them....
Or, you could buy a trenchcoat and fill the pockets with gumballs and walk around town delivering fistfuls of the goodies. Then you could go "hehehehe" and run away.
I thought about selling them. Hmm, at $.25 apiece that's... over 200 dollars. Nice.
Not sure if I have the energy though.
Mailing them out actually sounds extra-extra awesome. I'll have to reserve a few dozen at least, for the sake of making the world a weirder place.

I have maybe 1.5 cubic feet worth- not quite enough to do something like flood a hallway.

Actuallly... the original gifter said that he would give me $$ if I could make a sculpture outta 'em. Now, he meant via chew+stick, but....
What if I found a way to hydrate and masticate them via machine? Any ideas?

Oh, and for my name see here.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 4:58 am UTC
by Marbas
Microwave them and use them to assault passerby.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 8:19 am UTC
by mrbaggins
Escalator or large ramp.

Or through the slight opening people leave in their car windows when its hot.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 9:09 am UTC
by Rat
1) chew each piece for a few seconds
2) compile a huge wad of gum
3) find a busy street or parking lot
4) plant the gum on the pavement, maybe use a shovel or something to get it started
5) watch your creation turn into a giant black spot. they'll need tanks to get that shit off!

there's a lot you can do with a huge wad of gum though.. a whole lot...



edit@mr.beck: my fake internet name used to be alex trebek. you make the connections.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 3:32 pm UTC
by Kazuke
You are now a superhero vigilante. Your superpower: chewing gum and using it to affix things to things.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 3:44 pm UTC
by Chfan
Give it to random kids you see on the street and make their parents suspicious.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 3:48 pm UTC
by ethraax
This, except with gumballs.

Or, alternatively, carry about 15 on you at all times and just throw them at your friend who gave them to you. Not all at once, a max of about 20 times a day. Make sure it surprises him each time. The fun would last for a long time...

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 3:57 pm UTC
by fishyfish777
¡This cheese is burning me!

Image
This, but stuffed with gumballs.

http://www.gumballs.com/large-gumballs.html

Considering that box of 850 costs $29.99, I'm thinking of getting one now.

[EDIT] OH SHI~
http://www.gumball.com/8500-count-gumballs.aspx

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 4:06 pm UTC
by Toeofdoom
Chew up the gumballs and stick them on the pavement in a replica of various xkcd comics.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 4:33 pm UTC
by wst
This... see if you can get some marshmallows as well.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 5:03 pm UTC
by BlackSails
Drive around in your car and offer them to the local children.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 7:31 pm UTC
by The Scyphozoa
Accidentally them.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 7:37 pm UTC
by Awia
The Scyphozoa wrote:Accidentally them.
All of them? Is that bad?

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 7:42 pm UTC
by Cheese
Awia wrote:
The Scyphozoa wrote:Accidentally them.
All of them? Is that bad?
You don't the meme?

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 7:48 pm UTC
by Awia
Cheese wrote:
Awia wrote:
The Scyphozoa wrote:Accidentally them.
All of them? Is that bad?
You don't the meme?
I do the meme.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 8:46 pm UTC
by RealGrouchy
Awia wrote:
Cheese wrote:
Awia wrote:
The Scyphozoa wrote:Accidentally them.
All of them? Is that bad?
You don't the meme?
I do the meme.
I don't think you're doing.

- RG>

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 9:13 pm UTC
by Baza210
RealGrouchy wrote:
Awia wrote:
Cheese wrote:
Awia wrote:
The Scyphozoa wrote:Accidentally them.
All of them? Is that bad?
You don't the meme?
I do the meme.
I don't think you're doing.

- RG>

You both accidentally too many verbs.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 9:16 pm UTC
by Awia
Shhh, I need more practice.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 9:54 pm UTC
by Senefen
First: Good for you!

What you should do is get a texta and draw a different experision on all of them. Then take them to school/uni/college and just put them everywhere. In trees, on shelves, bluetacked to walls, in the hands of statues. Hide them inside things in the staff kitchens like the tea/coffee/sugar containers. Put an egg carton in their fridge with horrified looking gumballs instead of eggs.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 9:55 pm UTC
by The Scyphozoa
Senefen wrote:First: Good for you!

What you should do is get a texta and draw a different experision on all of them. Then take them to school/uni/college and just put them everywhere. In trees, on shelves, bluetacked to walls, in the hands of statues. Hide them inside things in the staff kitchens like the tea/coffee/sugar containers. Put an egg carton in their fridge with horrified looking gumballs instead of eggs.

Well, forget my dumb idea, THIS IS GREAT!









What's a texta?

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 10:07 pm UTC
by Baza210
The Scyphozoa wrote:What's a texta?

Sharpie? :/

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 10:13 pm UTC
by GuitarFreak
fishyfish777 wrote:¡This cheese is burning me!

Image
This, but stuffed with gumballs.

http://www.gumballs.com/large-gumballs.html

Considering that box of 850 costs $29.99, I'm thinking of getting one now.

[EDIT] OH SHI~
http://www.gumball.com/8500-count-gumballs.aspx


That site is amazing.

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Mon Dec 15, 2008 1:11 am UTC
by '; DROP DATABASE;--
Senefen wrote:in the hands of statues.
Metroid_ChozoStatue.jpg
Idea.
Metroid_ChozoStatue.jpg (7.07 KiB) Viewed 3205 times

Re: I Have 850 Gumballs

Posted: Mon Dec 15, 2008 1:12 am UTC
by Ieatsoap6
tmcfulton wrote:Don't shave or shower for a week, wear a trenchcoat, go to a park, and give them out to small children.

Bonus points if his base for this is a sketchy van with "Free Candy" on the side.