The Spider (Image) From Hell

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Spuddly
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Spuddly » Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:01 pm UTC

GuitarFreak wrote:Psh, that's not a spider...



Brutal!

22/7 wrote:
Spuddly wrote:
sleepygamer wrote:
segmentation fault wrote:
sleepygamer wrote:Huge arachnophobe here. From what I have heard so far, I would fashion a rudimentary flamethrower, BURN THE LITTLE SHIT AND IT'S BABIES TO FUCK,


its...not...little.
Is it little compared to, say, a cat?


Little compared to a big cat. It might be bigger than a kitten.

Also, it has a brood swarm.
What? No. It's certainly not larger than a kitten, at least not one beyond the first month or so of size, and even then you're pushing it. It's probably 3-4 inches in length (body) with about 8 inches in leg-span.


If that wiki is to be believed, and that thing is at the upper end of size, it could easily be reaching dinner plate size. In terms of leg span. Which would make it larger than a kitten. Longer? Leggier?
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby 22/7 » Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:04 pm UTC

Are we still talking about the spider from the OP?
Totally not a hypothetical...

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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Spuddly » Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:10 pm UTC

22/7 wrote:Are we still talking about the spider from the OP?


Yes?
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Izawwlgood » Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:12 pm UTC

i can't get a good feel for how big that thing is, but I spent a summer in Mobile Alabama, and every morning would have to empty the dehumidifier. There were at least a dozen of the spoiled critters on and around the door I exited to do so. They are harmless, but sure as shit don't look it.

Spoiler:
heather-banana-spider.jpg
heather-banana-spider.jpg (20.53 KiB) Viewed 6001 times
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Jos » Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:14 pm UTC

Although I'm usually ok with spiders and did't scream like a 4-year old when I saw teh picture, It had me thining in 3 letters... RPG. And we're not speaking rocket propelled grenades, but the russian kind of RPG. The destructive force of one would a flamethrower seem like a campfire!
Some beeings are made by god (or obama, or spaghettios or *insert meme here*) to be slaughterd and desacrated by man. This spider is one of them
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby 22/7 » Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:15 pm UTC

Some awesome spider pics in this thread.

Spuddly wrote:
22/7 wrote:Are we still talking about the spider from the OP?
Yes?
And the spider in the OP is what kind of spider? It's hard to tell how big it is, but I'm assuming that it's next to a 1x4 (on the left) making the spider roughly 3 1/2" in body length and probably 6-8" in leg span. Anyone actually able to identify that type of spider?
Totally not a hypothetical...

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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Spuddly » Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:17 pm UTC

@ 22/7
I think it's a Huntsman, given the weird angle of its legs. I presumed it was a wolf spider.
Good catch with the 1x4, though.

[edit]
Heteropoda maxima
Apparently I fail at reading the OP every single time. It's in the Huntsman family.

Jos wrote:Although I'm usually ok with spiders and did't scream like a 4-year old when I saw teh picture, It had me thining in 3 letters... RPG. And we're not speaking rocket propelled grenades, but the russian kind of RPG. The destructive force of one would a flamethrower seem like a campfire!
Some beeings are made by god (or obama, or spaghettios or *insert meme here*) to be slaughterd and desacrated by man. This spider is one of them


What about the English language?
Also to be slaughterd and desacrated?




Grammar Nazism's cool here, right?
Last edited by Spuddly on Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:18 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Jos » Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:18 pm UTC

Spider day today maybe? XKCD's addition to the bulging battles between meme's and humorous humor!

Sorry about above post, I don't know what happened. Wait 1 hour and I will have a good excuse all finished up
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby tryptanymph » Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:29 pm UTC

Spuddly wrote:Also to be slaughtered and desecrated?
Fix'd.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Spuddly » Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:31 pm UTC

sleepygamer wrote:
Spuddly wrote:Also to be slaughtered and desecrated?
Fix'd.


No, you ruined it. :(
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby tryptanymph » Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:33 pm UTC

Spuddly wrote:
sleepygamer wrote:
Spuddly wrote:Also to be slaughtered and desecrated?
Fix'd.
No, you ruined it. :(
No, I fix'd it.

That's why I used the word "Fix'd" in my last post.

There was fixification going on.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Belial » Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:44 pm UTC

....the OP is adorable. I want to bottle it and its babies up in a tank and use them to keep timid people out of my room.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Wed Dec 17, 2008 10:45 pm UTC

It is a VERY good thing that you can't. And by 'you can't' I mean, "you like your spleen where it is, right?"

My last (non-fora) roommates got a tarantula without asking me. That kind of shit is not okay.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Virtual_Aardvark » Thu Dec 18, 2008 12:31 am UTC

Awwwwwwwishocyuuute!!!!!...ahem...sorry...I like spiders :oops:

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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby DaMullet » Thu Dec 18, 2008 12:39 am UTC

I want to get the pic from the OP screen-printed on a cake. Why? FOR SCIENCE!
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Jack Saladin » Thu Dec 18, 2008 12:45 am UTC

Spiders like the one eating the bird and that yellow one don't really bother me - so long as they're smooth and insectoid, I wouldn't want one as a pet, but I'm not going to shriek at the sight of one. But those big, dark, furry motherfuckers? That shit is wrong. Just so wrong. I would leave all my stuff, and just run and never turn back if I found the OP in my room. Like, I would be moving cities. And I would burn all the clothes I was wearing when I saw it, and shave my head. And take like a million showers.

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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Roland Lockheart » Thu Dec 18, 2008 12:57 am UTC

Fuck, I'm not going to sleep well tonight knowing those exist....and where did my shotgun get to?
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby AceMngy » Thu Dec 18, 2008 1:20 am UTC

Izawwlgood wrote:i can't get a good feel for how big that thing is, but I spent a summer in Mobile Alabama, and every morning would have to empty the dehumidifier. There were at least a dozen of the spoiled critters on and around the door I exited to do so. They are harmless, but sure as shit don't look it.

Spoiler:
heather-banana-spider.jpg


I remember those things. When I was in Georgia I went paintballing on a wooded (almost swampy) course riddled with those things. You could look above you and count ten on their webs in your field of view if you had sharp eyes. I was just waiting for the moment when I ran between two trees, breaking its web and having one of those latched firmly on my paintball mask. That's when I'd tap my teammate on the shoulder and say, "Shoot me, please."

Another funny story there. One of the girls I was traveling with saw a hole in the brick wall of our dormitory. It looked like a bullet hole because the brick around it was cracked in a symmetrical pattern. Turns out those weren't cracks but the foot-wide webbing of a funnel web spider nesting in the hole. When she touched it out of curiosity it leaped out and harmlessly tapped her on the hand (she was too big for it to drag into the hole I guess). We had to peel her off of the ceiling after that.

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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby WaterToFire » Thu Dec 18, 2008 1:23 am UTC

Jack Saladin wrote:Spiders like the one eating the bird and that yellow one don't really bother me - so long as they're smooth and insectoid, I wouldn't want one as a pet, but I'm not going to shriek at the sight of one. But those big, dark, furry motherfuckers? That shit is wrong. Just so wrong. I would leave all my stuff, and just run and never turn back if I found the OP in my room. Like, I would be moving cities. And I would burn all the clothes I was wearing when I saw it, and shave my head. And take like a million showers.
Have to say I agree.

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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Belial » Thu Dec 18, 2008 1:35 am UTC

Spiderthirst!

You'll have BABIES!!!!

SO MANY BABIES!!!!!!

FOUR HUNDRED BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Zak » Thu Dec 18, 2008 1:44 am UTC

Hey OP!

Spoiler:
1229150508359.jpg
1229150508359.jpg (158.27 KiB) Viewed 5783 times
*waggles eyebrows*

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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby roc314 » Thu Dec 18, 2008 1:48 am UTC

DaMullet wrote:I want to get the pic from the OP screen-printed on a cake. Why? FOR SCIENCE!
That's cruel. You'll traumatize whoever eats the cake.

That's even worse than putting a bunny on a cake. A really cute bunny. People don't like to eat things like that.
Jack Saladin wrote:Spiders like the one eating the bird and that yellow one don't really bother me - so long as they're smooth and insectoid, I wouldn't want one as a pet, but I'm not going to shriek at the sight of one. But those big, dark, furry motherfuckers? That shit is wrong. Just so wrong. I would leave all my stuff, and just run and never turn back if I found the OP in my room. Like, I would be moving cities. And I would burn all the clothes I was wearing when I saw it, and shave my head. And take like a million showers.
Depending on the smooth, insectoid spider, it can vary. Black widows are creepy as hell, but that's probably more to do with their poisonous reputation than just looks.

Hairy spiders are always good, though. They're like hamsters or kittens, except with more legs and are awesome.

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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby SecondTalon » Thu Dec 18, 2008 1:52 am UTC

Belial wrote:Spiderthirst!

You'll have BABIES!!!!

SO MANY BABIES!!!!!!

FOUR HUNDRED BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!


When God gives you spiders you FREAK THE FUCK OUT and FIND A NEW GOD!
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Pirate.Bondage » Thu Dec 18, 2008 1:53 am UTC

Z.A.K wrote:Hey OP!

Spoiler:
1229150508359.jpg

You are quickly becoming one of my favorite posters.

Random spider story: I once was leaving my aunt's apartment building and I saw a green blob[ish] thing that looked almost like moss on the wall. I poked it to see what it was and hundreds of tiny green dots ran everywhere....I'm assuming they were tiny spiders but holy shit they were small.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Marbas » Thu Dec 18, 2008 2:01 am UTC

EEEEE! Spiders!

I <3 Spiders. You people and your foolish arachnid hate.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Tigerlion » Thu Dec 18, 2008 2:49 am UTC

Is the topic name a typo?

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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Mr. Lostman » Thu Dec 18, 2008 4:51 am UTC

I saw some of the stuff under the spoiler tags. I can't unsee it.

Jack Saladin wrote:Spiders like the one eating the bird...

Say what?!
ImageImage
^NSFW ^NSFW ^NSFW ^NSFW ^NSFW ^NSFW ^NSFW ^NSFW ^NSFW ^NSFW ^NSFW ^NSFW ^NSFW ^NSFW

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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Xeio » Thu Dec 18, 2008 5:04 am UTC

I'd buy a couple dozen bugbombs (well, the spider-unfriendly variant, anyway), and go nuts. I'd probably have to live in a hotel for a week while the air becomes non-toxic again... but it would be worth it. There would be NOT A SINGLE LIVING THING LEFT when I was done with that room (and the rest of the house it happened in).

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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby GuitarFreak » Thu Dec 18, 2008 5:16 am UTC

Mr. Lostman wrote:I saw some of the stuff under the spoiler tags. I can't unsee it.

Jack Saladin wrote:Spiders like the one eating the bird...

Say what?!


GuitarFreak wrote:Psh, that's not a spider...

Image
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Jack Saladin » Thu Dec 18, 2008 5:24 am UTC

Doesn't even look like a particularly small bird.

Oh, and speaking of horrible spider images, has anyone seen that animated gif with the girls in the foreground? Worst fucking thing ever. You'll know what I mean if you've seen it.

Edit: Those orb weavers can actually look quite cool. Spiders like these are alright.

Image

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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby AceMngy » Thu Dec 18, 2008 5:57 am UTC

I don't know if you've been following the thread but spoiler all spider pictures. We have several arachnophobes lurking.

Now that zipper spider (or banana spider, whichever you prefer) is harmless, but I can see why it freaks people the fuck out. I think it's the bright alternating colors that makes your brain scream "It's poisonous!" Good defense on the spider's part.

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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Outchanter » Thu Dec 18, 2008 7:19 am UTC

The big ass-spiders aren't the ones to be afraid of - some of the really venomous are quite small. Loxosceles laeta (the Chilean Recluse) only grows up to 4cm, but its bite is suspected to be the true cause of the 'gangrenous spot of Chile'.

Spoiler:
Image


Although the big brother of Loxosceles, Sicarius, is reported to be even worse (experimental envenomation of rabbits led to hemorrhaging, and someone on the arachnoboards forums said a bite on a lizard liquified the area around the bite), very few people have been bitten by it so the effects on humans are currently uncertain.

Spoiler:
Image

Image


Both these families occur in Africa and South America, which suggests they predate continental drift. Maybe that's why humans evolved a fear of spiders?

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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby AnonyMouse » Thu Dec 18, 2008 7:53 am UTC

AceMngy wrote:Now that zipper spider (or banana spider, whichever you prefer) is harmless, but I can see why it freaks people the fuck out. I think it's the bright alternating colors that makes your brain scream "It's poisonous!" Good defense on the spider's part.


personally, it's all the legs and the crawlyness that makes my brain scream "It's a spider!" which is a way worse reaction than "It's poisonous!". I've no idea why, but for some reason, spiders are the be all and end all of terrifying for me. I realize it's illogical and I realize that they're actually helpful way more often than they're harmful, but keep them the hell away from me.

after the second one in as many minutes tried to fall in my hair one day this summer... it was a bad day.
Image

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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby b.i.o » Thu Dec 18, 2008 8:14 am UTC

GuitarFreak wrote:Psh, that's not a spider...


That one is not inside a room and surrounded by miniature replicas.

Also, I *hate* spiders and insects in real life. But while I find that image disgusting, I really was not that horrified. Mostly because it's in a picture, and I live outside the range of the things. The largest spiders I see are tiny little things.

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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Ubik » Thu Dec 18, 2008 8:23 am UTC

AceMngy wrote:Another funny story there. One of the girls I was traveling with saw a hole in the brick wall of our dormitory. It looked like a bullet hole because the brick around it was cracked in a symmetrical pattern. Turns out those weren't cracks but the foot-wide webbing of a funnel web spider nesting in the hole. When she touched it out of curiosity it leaped out and harmlessly tapped her on the hand (she was too big for it to drag into the hole I guess). We had to peel her off of the ceiling after that.

So at first she was like "I'd tap that hole" and then it was like "I'd tap that hand"?

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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Xeio » Thu Dec 18, 2008 9:12 am UTC

AceMngy wrote:I don't know if you've been following the thread but spoiler all spider pictures. We have several arachnophobes lurking
That willingly wandered into "The Spider Image From Hell" thread... yes, that makes sense, let's spare them from the IMAGES OF SPIDERS...

Incidentally, I'm an arachnophobe. :P

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Re: The Spider (Image) From Hell

Postby thornahawk » Thu Dec 18, 2008 9:46 am UTC

Bird-eating spiders... oh joy.

Spoiler:
Image


Garfield's gonna have a good time... :P

...and here's a swell guy:

Spoiler:
Image


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Re: The Spider (Image) From Hell

Postby micco » Thu Dec 18, 2008 10:33 am UTC

Those banana/zipper spiders are actually pretty.
But how about a Goliath birdeater?
Spoiler:
Image
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Re: The Spider (Image) From Hell

Postby Marbas » Thu Dec 18, 2008 12:23 pm UTC

Some of my favorite spiders are the jewel spiders. They look so weird and spiky. They're quite pretty in their own way.
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Re: The Spider (Image) From Hell

Postby Amarantha » Thu Dec 18, 2008 12:43 pm UTC

Spoilered for longness:
Spoiler:
Well, fuck. Huntsmans are one of the scariest spiders we get round here, mostly because they run so fast and can hide in small places. I freak out a bit when one leaps out at me - like if I come face-to-face with one on a door I'm opening, or if I find one in my shoe or my bed. I probably got that off my Mum, who would scream at the merest sight of one when I was growing up. But I usually only get a minor stress spike if I happen to spy one across the room, and can calmly spray/squash it without slapping at my body and screaming "KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!".

I suspect there's one living in my bedroom, probably behind my dressing table. There are a few scraggly webs around the room, and especially behind there, which I attributed to daddy-long-legs, until one night when I heard a noise from the dresser, and turned the light on to find that an almost-empty plastic deodorant bottle had fallen to the floor, a mostly-full one had been knocked sideways a bit, and a glass one remained upright. It seemed like the only thing that could have caused this was a huntsman running between the bottles and some books sitting maybe an inch behind them. One day I'll be able to clean it out, but since we're renovating the room is full of boxes and bags, so I've come to terms with the fact that it's only active at night, it most likely won't get on the bed (which doesn't sit against any walls), and it's probably more scared of me than I am of it.

However, I did not know how big those motherfuckers can get! Now that I've seen that pic, I'm reluctant to go to bed. What if... what if the thing that knocked my bottles over has a 20cm legspan :shock:

At least it's not a White-tailed spider that size. Those tough, vicious little motherfuckers are the main arachnidic terrors around here. It's also why I love the daddy-long-legs. Those little darlings eat other spiders; I love them :)
tl;dr - If I'd known they could get that big, I'd have been more scared about the one I suspect lives secretly in my bedroom.
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