The Spider (Image) From Hell

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The Spider (Image) From Hell

Postby Clumpy » Wed Dec 17, 2008 5:10 pm UTC

It's called Heteropoda maxima and it's probably the largest spider in existence. But little could prepare you for the horror of this image:

Spoiler'd for creepy crawly phobists:
Spoiler:
Image



This is honestly one of the creepiest pictures I've ever seen. As an attribution OCD sufferer I'll go ahead and let you know that I found it through an image search to this German forum, though I have no idea where it originated.

UPDATE: Thanks for your spider pictures and nightmare fuel, everybody. I think there's probably something inherent to spiders that makes us fear them even more than we should - sort of the fear equivalent to the Golden Ratio. After all, spiders exist both in big and small, poisonous and benign forms, just like snakes, but I'd wager far fewer people fear snakes the way we hate spiders.
Last edited by Clumpy on Thu Dec 18, 2008 9:08 am UTC, edited 3 times in total.

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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby wst » Wed Dec 17, 2008 5:27 pm UTC

Fucking hell, spoiler that shit. That's fucking making my skin go oooooh and my mind is saying Shitshitshit
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Tractor » Wed Dec 17, 2008 5:45 pm UTC

I am now imagining that up in the corner of my apartment, wondering what one could do at that point. I mean, I've seen it as clock spider in the past, but with the swarm of babies it seems exponentially worse.

Related - if just the big one were assaulting you, what do you fight back with? A shoe or other normal spider weapons seem ineffective, perhaps a baseball bat?
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby 22/7 » Wed Dec 17, 2008 5:53 pm UTC

Why would a shoe be ineffective? The spider looks to be at most 4 inches from head to arse. My shoes are significantly larger than that...
Totally not a hypothetical...

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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Shakleton » Wed Dec 17, 2008 5:54 pm UTC

Every time I see that picture (First time was on /b/ and you know what they say about things that have been seen...) somewhere in my mind somebody flips a switch and all I can think of is:

KILL IT WITH FIRE! KILL IT WITH FIRE! KILL IT WITH FIRE!
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Poopraham Lincoln » Wed Dec 17, 2008 6:00 pm UTC

The closest thing I can see that would be adequate... 4-D Maglite. Encountering the scene from that image would be one of the most frightening events of my life. I don't care that the bite won't kill me. I normally try not to kill bugs, but there is no way that we could peacefully coexist.
Image

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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Peter_G » Wed Dec 17, 2008 6:05 pm UTC

I couldn't help but make a high-pitch squealing noise throught-out the 4 seconds i had the spoiler off.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Shakleton » Wed Dec 17, 2008 6:09 pm UTC

If I saw that monster in my apartment, I'd shut every window in the room, get out, lock the door and return heavily armored (Helmet, thick clothes, work gloves, scarf, boots or spikes etc.) and armed (Vacuum cleaner, baseball bat, insect spray, small flamethrower if possible as mentioned above, maybe proton packs [if there's something huge, on your ceiling fan, who you gonna call?]).

Like Poopraham Lincoln already said: It's not my usual behaviour but it's not an usual case either. There is no fucking way I would let something like that survive AND BREED.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Rat » Wed Dec 17, 2008 6:21 pm UTC

Shakleton wrote:If I saw that monster in my apartment, I'd shut every window in the room, get out, lock the door...There is no fucking way I would let something like that survive AND BREED.


are you going to count how many baby spiders you have to kill before you leave?
or do you expect them to all stay in the corner while you're gone?

i think it would be cool to nailgun each of them to the wall where the stand

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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby RetSpline » Wed Dec 17, 2008 6:28 pm UTC

Oh.... wow. I don't really have any arachnaphobia, but that spider (and its horde) is one of the scariest things I've ever seen. Now, it's hard to imagine scale without anything to compare it to, so I'm thinking the size of a compact car, but that's just what my imagination does.

I can imagine myself walking in the door, looking up, seeing the spider, and listening to its high-pitched war-shriek as it flies at my head, boring through my skull to build its next web inside of my body.


*shudder*

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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby benjhuey » Wed Dec 17, 2008 6:32 pm UTC

Shakleton wrote:Every time I see that picture (First time was on /b/ and you know what they say about things that have been seen...) somewhere in my mind somebody flips a switch and all I can think of is:

KILL IT WITH FIRE! KILL IT WITH FIRE! KILL IT WITH FIRE!
Spoiler:
Image
We weren't really using that corner for much anyway.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Pirate.Bondage » Wed Dec 17, 2008 6:38 pm UTC

benjhuey wrote:
Shakleton wrote:Every time I see that picture (First time was on /b/ and you know what they say about things that have been seen...) somewhere in my mind somebody flips a switch and all I can think of is:

KILL IT WITH FIRE! KILL IT WITH FIRE! KILL IT WITH FIRE!
Spoiler:
Image
We weren't really using that corner for much anyway.

You...are amazing.


If I saw that I'd probably try everything just to move it out of my home...I don't kill bugs [although a huge spider may be an exception].

Normally I like spiders but that..is huge. And its legs are bent at weird angles. Ugh.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Jessica » Wed Dec 17, 2008 6:43 pm UTC

Ew. I don't mind spiders but that was a creepy picture.

I know a few people who would freakout at seeing that.
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Re: The Spider (Image) From Hell

Postby SoapyHobo » Wed Dec 17, 2008 7:30 pm UTC

Yeah, I'm not going anywhere near the spoilers in this thread after looking at the comments being made. Just thinking about it makes me shudder...
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby micco » Wed Dec 17, 2008 7:31 pm UTC

Eww, thats a big ass-spider.

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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Spuddly » Wed Dec 17, 2008 7:34 pm UTC

I'm calling shenanigans.
That thing is going to be silver dollar sized, at most. Wolf spiders get big, but not that big. Not as big as tarantulas. And even then, spiders still don't get much bigger than the size of your hand. There's a relatively small upper limit to terrestrial arthropod size.

Personally, I think it's kind of cuddly. Wolf spiders have such a strong maternal instinct. But I'm fascinated by arthropods to no end. I like looking at bugs. They're such beautiful little machines.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby segmentation fault » Wed Dec 17, 2008 7:43 pm UTC

they are most definitely not cuddly this thing is nasty as shit and proves there is no god.

holy fuck that is really disgusting. get it away from me.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby sleepygamer » Wed Dec 17, 2008 7:52 pm UTC

I HAVE NOT SEEN THE IMAGE, AND EVEN YOU PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT IT MAKES ME FEEL ILL.

Huge arachnophobe here. From what I have heard so far, I would fashion a rudimentary flamethrower, BURN THE LITTLE SHIT AND IT'S BABIES TO FUCK, and then move. To another country. Where spiders are only known through D&D games.

KILLITKILLITKILLITKILLIT.

I SWEAR TO GOD. If I had 3 wishes by some genie, one of them would be to REMOVE ALL FUCKING SPIDERS FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH, AND PUT THEM IN THE SUN. AND LET ME WATCH THEM BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN.

I HATE SPIDERS.

GAH.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Spuddly » Wed Dec 17, 2008 7:53 pm UTC

Wow. There is some intense spider hate here.
Spiders are so gentle and meek, though.

And they kill things that are actually a bother, like mosquitoes and flies.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Darkscull » Wed Dec 17, 2008 7:54 pm UTC

The fact that it's in a corner with no reference for size is tricksy.

I don't know about other people, but I automatically mapped that corner onto the one I can see out of the corner of my eye, and the size then would be huge. I had to make a mental effort while looking at it to visualise it as being tiny so as not to freak out.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby wst » Wed Dec 17, 2008 7:59 pm UTC

Spuddly wrote:Wow. There is some intense spider hate here.
Spiders are so gentle and meek, though.

And they kill things that are actually a bother, like mosquitoes and flies.

Too many legs.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Numzane » Wed Dec 17, 2008 8:06 pm UTC

I think about hand-size-ish is where I start freaking out with spiders. Small spiders don't really worry me much.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Tractor » Wed Dec 17, 2008 8:20 pm UTC

Spuddly wrote:I'm calling shenanigans.
That thing is going to be silver dollar sized, at most. Wolf spiders get big, but not that big. Not as big as tarantulas. And even then, spiders still don't get much bigger than the size of your hand. There's a relatively small upper limit to terrestrial arthropod size.

Personally, I think it's kind of cuddly. Wolf spiders have such a strong maternal instinct. But I'm fascinated by arthropods to no end. I like looking at bugs. They're such beautiful little machines.


You would be wrong.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huntsman_spider
Note the sizes it gives: 9.8-11.8 inch legspan.
9 x 6 = 42



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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby cyberia » Wed Dec 17, 2008 8:28 pm UTC

There is no way I am ever clicking that spoiler. EVER!!! Even reading this thread made me itchy and creeped-out.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Chfan » Wed Dec 17, 2008 8:36 pm UTC

I wouldn't recommend clicking it...but I will describe it!

It's in a corner with a bunch of babies crawling around by it that are about...twenty times smaller than it. It looks big, black, and angry. It's situated on a normal-to-large size web and it's BIGGER THAN THE FUCKING WEB(its web, not the internet). Arachnophobes, for your own well-being, don't clicky.

Honestly, I clicked it and looked at it without squealing or crying or even being that shocked, but seriously. God made a mistake.

EDIT: Oh and you know those indents that are on the tops of white-stone walls sometimes? It's about the height of that.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Spuddly » Wed Dec 17, 2008 8:45 pm UTC

Tractor wrote:
Spuddly wrote:I'm calling shenanigans.
That thing is going to be silver dollar sized, at most. Wolf spiders get big, but not that big. Not as big as tarantulas. And even then, spiders still don't get much bigger than the size of your hand. There's a relatively small upper limit to terrestrial arthropod size.

Personally, I think it's kind of cuddly. Wolf spiders have such a strong maternal instinct. But I'm fascinated by arthropods to no end. I like looking at bugs. They're such beautiful little machines.


You would be wrong.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huntsman_spider
Note the sizes it gives: 9.8-11.8 inch legspan.


Well damn. That's quite large.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby benjhuey » Wed Dec 17, 2008 8:48 pm UTC

Not all spiders are bad. Some can be downright cute...
Spoiler:
Image
I knew I'd eventually get to use this picture again. :D
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Spuddly » Wed Dec 17, 2008 8:50 pm UTC

This one isn't that cute.
Spoiler:
Image
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby LE4dGOLEM » Wed Dec 17, 2008 8:53 pm UTC

Why does that spider need a web at all? Is it not far too large to use it for catching insects?
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Ubik » Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:00 pm UTC

I just read that they don't build webs for hunting, so the web in the picture is probably home for those cute little babies. Or the eggs.

Edit: It seems that they are not only big, but fast too. How lovely.

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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Alder » Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:03 pm UTC

That right there is the reason why I live in Scotland, where all the spiders get washed away in the rain....:D
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby blue_eyedspacemonkey » Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:04 pm UTC

I'm very glad I arrived after the spoilered image, I can satisfy my curiosity about the thread without giving myself nightmares *shudder*
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby segmentation fault » Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:06 pm UTC

sleepygamer wrote:Huge arachnophobe here. From what I have heard so far, I would fashion a rudimentary flamethrower, BURN THE LITTLE SHIT AND IT'S BABIES TO FUCK,


its...not...little.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby sleepygamer » Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:13 pm UTC

segmentation fault wrote:
sleepygamer wrote:Huge arachnophobe here. From what I have heard so far, I would fashion a rudimentary flamethrower, BURN THE LITTLE SHIT AND IT'S BABIES TO FUCK,


its...not...little.
Is it little compared to, say, a cat?
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby benjhuey » Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:15 pm UTC

Spuddly wrote:This one isn't that cute.
Spoiler:
Image
It seems to be missing some legs.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby Spuddly » Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:18 pm UTC

sleepygamer wrote:
segmentation fault wrote:
sleepygamer wrote:Huge arachnophobe here. From what I have heard so far, I would fashion a rudimentary flamethrower, BURN THE LITTLE SHIT AND IT'S BABIES TO FUCK,


its...not...little.
Is it little compared to, say, a cat?


Little compared to a big cat. It might be bigger than a kitten.

Also, it has a brood swarm.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby natraj » Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:22 pm UTC

I like spiders and that still made my skin crawl. I think it was its army of minions that did it for me.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby sleepygamer » Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:34 pm UTC

Spuddly wrote:
sleepygamer wrote:
segmentation fault wrote:
sleepygamer wrote:Huge arachnophobe here. From what I have heard so far, I would fashion a rudimentary flamethrower, BURN THE LITTLE SHIT AND IT'S BABIES TO FUCK,
its...not...little.
Is it little compared to, say, a cat?
Little compared to a big cat. It might be bigger than a kitten.

Also, it has a brood swarm.
I was mainly using the term "little" to say, "smaller than me".

I mean, I call kids "little shits" all the time, and they are generally over half as tall as me.
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby GuitarFreak » Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:50 pm UTC

Psh, that's not a spider...

Image
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Re: The Spide (Image) From Hell

Postby 22/7 » Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:51 pm UTC

Spuddly wrote:
sleepygamer wrote:
segmentation fault wrote:
sleepygamer wrote:Huge arachnophobe here. From what I have heard so far, I would fashion a rudimentary flamethrower, BURN THE LITTLE SHIT AND IT'S BABIES TO FUCK,


its...not...little.
Is it little compared to, say, a cat?


Little compared to a big cat. It might be bigger than a kitten.

Also, it has a brood swarm.
What? No. It's certainly not larger than a kitten, at least not one beyond the first month or so of size, and even then you're pushing it. It's probably 3-4 inches in length (body) with about 8 inches in leg-span.
Totally not a hypothetical...

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