'Best' Religion

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hantzu
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'Best' Religion

Postby hantzu » Mon Mar 30, 2009 10:16 pm UTC

Describe your 'favorite' religion, and why. Doesn't matter if you believe it or not. NOT an Atheism-Theism debate.

For me, Catholicism. I'm impressed on how it's the oldest organized force in history, is essentially responsible for the modern world as we know it, and remains philosophically rigorous. Plus its art is amazing.

Other than that, a really strict form of Buddhism (to the point where it's not really a religion but a philosophy), but that's probably because if my stoic tendencies. I'd either go for super rich big-tent religions like Catholicism or Hinduism just because there's so much to see, or the really striped down kinds.

Ultimately I like Catholicism and Buddhism because at their core they have powerful philosophical systems. I'd never be able to handle something like modern-day protestantism.

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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby |Erasmus| » Mon Mar 30, 2009 10:24 pm UTC

hantzu wrote:For me, Catholicism. I'm impressed on how it's the oldest organized force in history.

I am aware that it evolved out of Judaism when they refused to accept Jesus as the son of god. So the Jewish religion is older, no?

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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby Klapaucius » Mon Mar 30, 2009 10:38 pm UTC

Norse mythology FTW. Just look at Thor.

Once, Thor lost his legendary hammer Mjolnir when Loki, the most awesome chaotic good deity ever devised, persuaded a frost giant to steal it--then, when the giant demanded that sister of Freyr (the fertility-god holdout from more primitive times) marry him in exchange for Mjolnir. Knowing that the giant had never met Freya, and had only heard tales of her beauty, he disguised himself as the bride-to-be and went to the wedding.
At the preliminary feast, the giant wondered why Freya could eat eight whole oxen and drink three kegs of mead, so Thor's wingman Freyr explained that she had been so excited about the wedding that she had feated for eight days prior. Then during the ceremony, when the giant lifted the veil, he saw Thor's eyes burning with divine fury. He was taken aback, until Freyr told him that Freya's gaze was so intense because she was so passionate about the marriage that she had not slept in a week.
Then, just as it was about to be made official, the frost-giant groom gave the traditional sacrament to the bride, consisting of a hammer--and it was Mjolnir. The moment Thor had awaited was at hand, so he tore off the dress to reveal his godly armor, and used Mjolnir to slaughter the thief and every frost-giant in the building.
The moral of the story? Endure whatever humiliation you have to, as long as you get to slay your foe in the end.

Now that's a parable I can subscribe to.
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hantzu
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby hantzu » Tue Mar 31, 2009 1:12 am UTC

That's awesome. Almost all the Thor stories are. Though it's hard to say whether Norse mythology is really a religion. I suppose it is, though it seems more like a story cycle to me.

Granted, Judaism is a great deal older than Catholicism, but I'd hesitate to say whether it is really organized. It's pretty splintered these days, apart from the Orthodox holdouts, and they don't even have the Temple anymore.

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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby |Erasmus| » Tue Mar 31, 2009 1:50 am UTC

hantzu wrote:That's awesome. Almost all the Thor stories are. Though it's hard to say whether Norse mythology is really a religion. I suppose it is, though it seems more like a story cycle to me.

Granted, Judaism is a great deal older than Catholicism, but I'd hesitate to say whether it is really organized. It's pretty splintered these days, apart from the Orthodox holdouts, and they don't even have the Temple anymore.

and the sheer number of protestant christian religions don't win you over there? I mean, Judaism itself is organised, there are just splinter groups, much like Christianity.

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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby Cynwulf » Tue Mar 31, 2009 2:03 am UTC

I think Zoroastrianism is really nifty: ancient, extols good works and virtues, free will, and fire temples. Fire temples!

I also give a worthy nod to Sikhism. Sikhs are just awesome.
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby cypherspace » Tue Mar 31, 2009 2:05 am UTC

It's all about Buddhism for me. I find it fascinating, and of course because it's mainly a philosophy the faith-based issues that I have with other religions don't really come into it.
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby Hobgoblin » Tue Mar 31, 2009 2:24 am UTC

Klapaucius wrote:Norse mythology FTW. Just look at Thor.

Once, Thor lost his legendary hammer Mjolnir when Loki, the most awesome chaotic good deity ever devised, persuaded a frost giant to steal it--then, when the giant demanded that sister of Freyr (the fertility-god holdout from more primitive times) marry him in exchange for Mjolnir. Knowing that the giant had never met Freya, and had only heard tales of her beauty, he disguised himself as the bride-to-be and went to the wedding.
At the preliminary feast, the giant wondered why Freya could eat eight whole oxen and drink three kegs of mead, so Thor's wingman Freyr explained that she had been so excited about the wedding that she had feated for eight days prior. Then during the ceremony, when the giant lifted the veil, he saw Thor's eyes burning with divine fury. He was taken aback, until Freyr told him that Freya's gaze was so intense because she was so passionate about the marriage that she had not slept in a week.
Then, just as it was about to be made official, the frost-giant groom gave the traditional sacrament to the bride, consisting of a hammer--and it was Mjolnir. The moment Thor had awaited was at hand, so he tore off the dress to reveal his godly armor, and used Mjolnir to slaughter the thief and every frost-giant in the building.
The moral of the story? Endure whatever humiliation you have to, as long as you get to slay your foe in the end.

Now that's a parable I can subscribe to.



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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby DavidoDoom » Tue Mar 31, 2009 2:46 am UTC

You'd think this topic would be in... Religious Wars! HA! ha! haha! hahaha!

Sorry.

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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby Cynwulf » Tue Mar 31, 2009 2:49 am UTC

DavidoDoom wrote:You'd think this topic would be in... Religious Wars! HA! ha! haha! hahaha!

Sorry.

I'm new here. And an idiot. I just post.

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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby doogly » Tue Mar 31, 2009 3:58 am UTC

Cynwulf wrote:I think Zoroastrianism is really nifty: ancient, extols good works and virtues, free will, and fire temples. Fire temples!


My pediatrician was Zoroastrian!
They have a really great funeral ritual. Birds are "good" and worms/bugs/etc. are "evil" (I am simplifying... but not by too much) so you do not want to feed the latter with your corpse. So the dead bodies go on a raised pedestal in order for carrion birds to pick at them. This causes some butting of heads with local government... exposed bodies maybe the public health folks a bit unhappy. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Towers_of_Silence

My favorite mystical tradition is the Jewish Kabbalah. I took a course on it; easily the best I had in college. Mysticism in general is fascinating though.
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby Luthen » Tue Mar 31, 2009 5:07 am UTC

No love for Pastafarianism?
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby mrbaggins » Tue Mar 31, 2009 10:19 am UTC

FSM has the best backstory for coming into existence (The whole Kansas Schools thing). It also has the best 'holy book' I've come across.
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby Pez Dispens3r » Tue Mar 31, 2009 12:43 pm UTC

I kinda like all the polytheistic religions, where they tried to work out the different forces in nature and within humans into divine beings, to explain why there is inherent conflict in the world. It's an interesting way of trying to categorize your emotions and motivations, and understand why things beyond your control make life harder or easier.
hantzu wrote:That's awesome. Almost all the Thor stories are. Though it's hard to say whether Norse mythology is really a religion. I suppose it is, though it seems more like a story cycle to me.

Granted, Judaism is a great deal older than Catholicism, but I'd hesitate to say whether it is really organized. It's pretty splintered these days, apart from the Orthodox holdouts, and they don't even have the Temple anymore.


Norse mythology is the written remains of the Norse religion. It was very much a real religion.

Catholicism is Christianity blended with a whole lot of 'pagan' religion (take the date of Christmas; the Christmas tree; depictions of the devil mirroring Poseidon and.. that Egyptian god, the one with the horns; the worship of Madonnas and saints attached to certain places, like how Roman gods were). Its existed in that form since it was appropriated by the Romans, so it's from there that Catholicism 'began.' It's fairly old, but Judaism, Hinduism and Buddhism extend back further.

As for the claims about it being responsible for the world as well know it... yeah, well, nah. To cite one counter-example, the British colonial experiment has had a massive impact on the modern world, and it was independent of Catholicism.
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DavidoDoom wrote:You'd think this topic would be in... Religious Wars! HA! ha! haha! hahaha!

Sorry.

I'm new here. And an idiot. I just post.

Without. Thinking.

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Well played, good sir.
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby SecondTalon » Tue Mar 31, 2009 1:17 pm UTC

Pez Dispens3r wrote:
Cynwulf wrote:
DavidoDoom wrote:You'd think this topic would be in... Religious Wars! HA! ha! haha! hahaha!
Sorry.

I'm new here. And an idiot. I just post.
Without. Thinking.
Like. A. Mac. Ad. Period.
Well played, good sir.
Pfft. DavidoDoom makes a good point and you point and laugh at him.
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....I thought it was funny...though the sorry is what made the joke.
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby Bluggo » Tue Mar 31, 2009 5:43 pm UTC

I am pretty much in love with Neoplatonism.
The Enneads are among the most awesome books I have ever read, and they are definitely more religious than philosophical in nature.

I also like ancient Roman religion, especially during its early stages when it was not a poor imitation of the Greek mythos.

Also, I admire Orthodox Christianity very much: the depth and complexity of its traditions is pretty much unparalleled, and as far as I can see it has as strong a claim to be the rightful successor to ancient Christianity as Catholicism does.
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby Pandercolour » Tue Mar 31, 2009 5:49 pm UTC

doogly wrote:My pediatrician was Zoroastrian!

I wasn't aware they existed anymore, outside of a very small community in... India, I think?

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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby Quadropus » Tue Mar 31, 2009 6:00 pm UTC

Klapaucius wrote:Norse mythology FTW. Just look at Thor.

Once, Thor lost his legendary hammer Mjolnir when Loki, the most awesome chaotic good deity ever devised, persuaded a frost giant to steal it--then, when the giant demanded that sister of Freyr (the fertility-god holdout from more primitive times) marry him in exchange for Mjolnir. Knowing that the giant had never met Freya, and had only heard tales of her beauty, he disguised himself as the bride-to-be and went to the wedding.
At the preliminary feast, the giant wondered why Freya could eat eight whole oxen and drink three kegs of mead, so Thor's wingman Freyr explained that she had been so excited about the wedding that she had feated for eight days prior. Then during the ceremony, when the giant lifted the veil, he saw Thor's eyes burning with divine fury. He was taken aback, until Freyr told him that Freya's gaze was so intense because she was so passionate about the marriage that she had not slept in a week.
Then, just as it was about to be made official, the frost-giant groom gave the traditional sacrament to the bride, consisting of a hammer--and it was Mjolnir. The moment Thor had awaited was at hand, so he tore off the dress to reveal his godly armor, and used Mjolnir to slaughter the thief and every frost-giant in the building.
The moral of the story? Endure whatever humiliation you have to, as long as you get to slay your foe in the end.

Now that's a parable I can subscribe to.

I mean really, after reading this, would you want to be a part of any other religion?!

None of this pussy God shit just being omnipotent and whatnot, but beating some ass with a hammer!

So yeah... either that or Buddhism.
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby Cynwulf » Tue Mar 31, 2009 6:15 pm UTC

Pandercolour wrote:
doogly wrote:My pediatrician was Zoroastrian!

I wasn't aware they existed anymore, outside of a very small community in... India, I think?

Correct. The religion is small and slowly disappearing. Zoroastrianism is non-proselytizing, and so doesn't hold up against the more assertive religions. The largest populations (thousands only) are located mostly in western India but there are also a lot in the US, and some left in Iran.
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby Chfan » Tue Mar 31, 2009 7:15 pm UTC

Buddhism has always seemed to have an allure to me, I don't know. I'm still technically Jewish, though.
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby doogly » Tue Mar 31, 2009 7:43 pm UTC

Cynwulf wrote:
Pandercolour wrote:
doogly wrote:My pediatrician was Zoroastrian!

I wasn't aware they existed anymore, outside of a very small community in... India, I think?

Correct. The religion is small and slowly disappearing. Zoroastrianism is non-proselytizing, and so doesn't hold up against the more assertive religions. The largest populations (thousands only) are located mostly in western India but there are also a lot in the US, and some left in Iran.


Also Queens.
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby Marbas » Tue Mar 31, 2009 8:00 pm UTC

I thought I'd just mentioned this since someone brought up questions about "Norse Mythology" being a religion. There is currently a group of pagan practitioners called Reconstructionists that work in a variety of traditions. One of the most active of these are the Norse Recon groups. They are called Asatru, Heathens, Forn Sed, etc. There's also Odinism, but they're really douchebaggy. Mainly because Odinism is explicity folkish. And that's terrible. The groups are currently divided into Folkish(which is basically racism trying to hide itself), Theodist, Tribalist, and Universalist. Those are listed in order from most conservative to least. There's kind a problem with neo-nazis and racists being attracted to the movement.

Annnnd....I'm rambling so I'm just going to post this now.
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby DSenette » Tue Mar 31, 2009 9:16 pm UTC

my two favorite religions:

JavaCrishna: Wake up every morning...suck down a hot cup of coffee and exclaim "GOOD GOD that's a damned good cup of coffee!"

Amphibitarianism: Wake up every morning and swallow a live toad head first....after that...there's nothing that could possibly happen in your day that would be worse (except possibly when the toad works it's way out the other end...but invariably that would be the next day or so)
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby yazdi » Tue Mar 31, 2009 9:34 pm UTC

doogly wrote:
Cynwulf wrote:
Pandercolour wrote:
doogly wrote:My pediatrician was Zoroastrian!

I wasn't aware they existed anymore, outside of a very small community in... India, I think?

Correct. The religion is small and slowly disappearing. Zoroastrianism is non-proselytizing, and so doesn't hold up against the more assertive religions. The largest populations (thousands only) are located mostly in western India but there are also a lot in the US, and some left in Iran.


Also Queens.
Also Austria, at least a few of us ;)

Note: I'm actually atheist, but an ethnic Parsi and have done the Navjote.

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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby rath358 » Tue Mar 31, 2009 9:50 pm UTC

I'm a Quaker. We are NOT the guy on the oatmeal cylinder. Quakerism generally follows Christian beliefs, but only partly. The ting is that every Quaker examines the world and the ideas presented to them to form their own beliefs about things. In general most Quakers beliefs that everyone has an "inner light" or "part of God in them". Besides this, Quakers are as diverse as the world. There are Buddhist Quakers, Pagan Quakers, and Atheist Quakers. Quakers rule!

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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby Zeroignite » Tue Mar 31, 2009 10:24 pm UTC

I think that the Tibetan Buddhism practice of Sky Burial is really neat.
Basically, after the funerary service for the deceased, the body is dissembled into small pieces. Non-fleshy bits such as bone are ground and mixed with a sort of flour and butter paste. After the breaking down, the body is left on a stone slab for predatory birds to eat.

At first, Sky Burial seems pretty creepy. Having your corpse eaten by vultures?
However, it actually is quite elegant. Compare to Western burial-- you what, stick the dead guy in a box, then let it rot underground? In Sky Burial, your matter remains in the ecosystem, indeed lives on and travels above the mountains. Rather than forcibly removing our bodies from the world after death, your components remain, free to scatter all across the planet.

It's aesthetically similar to the modern method of Promession, but with even more rejoining of nature.
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby hantzu » Tue Mar 31, 2009 10:59 pm UTC

Pez Dispens3r wrote:Catholicism is Christianity blended with a whole lot of 'pagan' religion (take the date of Christmas; the Christmas tree; depictions of the devil mirroring Poseidon and.. that Egyptian god, the one with the horns; the worship of Madonnas and saints attached to certain places, like how Roman gods were). Its existed in that form since it was appropriated by the Romans, so it's from there that Catholicism 'began.' It's fairly old, but Judaism, Hinduism and Buddhism extend back further.


I take issue with that, sir! Correlation does not equal causation! And even when they were derived from other religions, that doesn't mean it's not un-Christian. Catholicism doesn't even make an issue of it. It's been flagrantly stealing bits of other cultures (but not theology) ever since it started expanding, and "chrisitanizing" them. The date of christmas was purposefully set to the date it was in order to push out the non-christian influence the date had, etc. Catholics openly adopt cultural elements, traditions, imagery and symbology from other cultures because they claim to be part of the 'universal' church. Greek: katholikos. So just because there was a period before and after Catholicism adopted (iconography, Greek philosophy, local patronage etc.) doesn't mean it didn't remain the same in esse. :) I'm willing to bet that a couple thousand years from now Catholicism will have changed a great deal in appearance, and still hold the same things.

The main reason I took issue with the Norse being a religion, was because, along with most ancient polytheistic religions, they were non-exclusive. They didn't see their cosmology as being the 'right' one, but would worship other gods from other religions as equally valid, if it produced results. It seems to me that most ancient religions were more a matter of pragmatism than any codified belief or worldview (if your neighbor worships a different fertility god and gets better harvests, it's time to include her in the pantheon). Maybe this doesn't really disqualify non-exclusive polytheistic religions from being religions, but to my mind it suggests that they're really all one.

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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby |Erasmus| » Tue Mar 31, 2009 11:56 pm UTC

DSenette wrote:JavaCrishna: Wake up every morning...suck down a hot cup of coffee and exclaim "GOOD GOD that's a damned good cup of coffee!"

And here I thought I was an atheist... but I've been practising that one for a while. :/

Pez Dispens3r wrote:Catholicism is Christianity blended with a whole lot of 'pagan' religion (take the date of Christmas; the Christmas tree; depictions of the devil mirroring Poseidon and.. that Egyptian god, the one with the horns; the worship of Madonnas and saints attached to certain places, like how Roman gods were). Its existed in that form since it was appropriated by the Romans, so it's from there that Catholicism 'began.' It's fairly old, but Judaism, Hinduism and Buddhism extend back further.

Ah. I think you will find that basically all christian churches basically celebrate christmas pretty close to the summer (or winter for you people on the wrong side of the world) solstice. They also basically use christmas trees, etc. Most of the evangelical religions are actually more concerned with the representation of the 'devil' than the catholics are, too.

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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby doogly » Wed Apr 01, 2009 12:06 am UTC

hantzu wrote:The main reason I took issue with the Norse being a religion, was because, along with most ancient polytheistic religions, they were non-exclusive. They didn't see their cosmology as being the 'right' one, but would worship other gods from other religions as equally valid, if it produced results. It seems to me that most ancient religions were more a matter of pragmatism than any codified belief or worldview (if your neighbor worships a different fertility god and gets better harvests, it's time to include her in the pantheon). Maybe this doesn't really disqualify non-exclusive polytheistic religions from being religions, but to my mind it suggests that they're really all one.


That does not make it any less of a valid religion, either in its historical practice or in the neo-pagan forms. That is not a necessary feature of a religion. If a religion were required to represent the sum of all truths a person believed in, and to declare as false everything outside of it, we would not have many religions with more than one adherent.

As for me, if we could get more religions to stop thinking they are 'right' I would give them a cookie.
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby Numquam » Wed Apr 01, 2009 12:15 am UTC

Norse mythology is awesome. My favorite story:

All the Gods had a dinner party with the best mead in the entire world. Of course no one invites Loki, but he shows up halfway through. He asks why no one invited him, and everyone's like, "no one likes you Loki." Loki asks who doesn't like him, and proceeds to completely and utterly make fun of the guy. Thor says, "that's enough Loki, get out or I'll bash your skull in with my hammer." Loki then asks for another person who doesn't want him there, and makes fun of him. Thor tells Loki to shut up or he's gonna bash his skull in with his hammer. Loki goes all the way through the room, making fun of everyone, until he gets to Thor. He starts making fun of Thor until Thor says, "QUITE IT LOKI OR I'LL BASH MY HAMMER IN YOUR SKULL!" and Loki says something like, "got to go guys I left something in my oven" and just leaves.

I don't really like Roman Catholicism. They have and are still the cause of a lot of shit in the world.
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby ishikiri » Wed Apr 01, 2009 1:09 am UTC

yazdi wrote:
doogly wrote:
Cynwulf wrote:
Pandercolour wrote:
doogly wrote:My pediatrician was Zoroastrian!

I wasn't aware they existed anymore, outside of a very small community in... India, I think?

Correct. The religion is small and slowly disappearing. Zoroastrianism is non-proselytizing, and so doesn't hold up against the more assertive religions. The largest populations (thousands only) are located mostly in western India but there are also a lot in the US, and some left in Iran.


Also Queens.
Also Austria, at least a few of us ;)

Note: I'm actually atheist, but an ethnic Parsi and have done the Navjote.


Also Queen.

Freddy Mercury was Zoroastrian.
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby smw543 » Wed Apr 01, 2009 8:26 am UTC

ishikiri wrote:Also Queen.

Farrokh Bulsara was Zoroastrian.
fix'd, because Farrokh Bulsara is a badass name.

As far as religions go, I was raised in Judaism and never found anything about it to be particularly objectionable (aside from the existence of God.) Otherwise, I'm partial to several groups of mythology - Greek, Celtic, and Norse, in descending order (Celtic and Norse are about even, but neither have the weight behind them that Greek mythology carries.)

I would like Christianity if it weren't for that douchebag Paul. He ruined everything.
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby SlyReaper » Wed Apr 01, 2009 8:49 am UTC

Church of the flying spaghetti monster is a good one, purely because of the sheer silliness of it.
Still, I hold a spacial place in my heart for the Norse Gods.

The might God of thunder,
Rode mighty on his filly.
"I'm Thor!" he cried.
The horse replied:
"You forgot your thaddle, thilly."
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby Nunkey » Wed Apr 01, 2009 11:44 am UTC

hantzu wrote:Describe your 'favorite' religion, and why. Doesn't matter if you believe it or not. NOT an Atheism-Theism debate.

For me, Catholicism. I'm impressed on how it's the oldest organized force in history, is essentially responsible for the modern world as we know it, and remains philosophically rigorous. Plus its art is amazing.

Other than that, a really strict form of Buddhism (to the point where it's not really a religion but a philosophy), but that's probably because if my stoic tendencies. I'd either go for super rich big-tent religions like Catholicism or Hinduism just because there's so much to see, or the really striped down kinds.

Ultimately I like Catholicism and Buddhism because at their core they have powerful philosophical systems. I'd never be able to handle something like modern-day protestantism.

Catholicism came out of Judaism. Therefore, Judaism is older. They were an organized force for longer.

Although I agree with the stripped down version of Buddhism.
I'm an agnostic as it is, though- I look at religion as a way to impart a moral code.

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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby Helios471 » Wed Apr 01, 2009 12:09 pm UTC

SlyReaper wrote:Still, I hold a spatial place in my heart for the Norse Gods.

Is that as opposed to a temporal place?

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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby SlyReaper » Wed Apr 01, 2009 12:16 pm UTC

Helios471 wrote:
SlyReaper wrote:Still, I hold a spatial place in my heart for the Norse Gods.

Is that as opposed to a temporal place?


Yes. Time does not exist there.
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby Alpha Omicron » Wed Apr 01, 2009 12:47 pm UTC

Woah. That many posts and no mention of Discordianism?
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby Belial » Wed Apr 01, 2009 1:13 pm UTC

doogly wrote:
hantzu wrote:The main reason I took issue with the Norse being a religion, was because, along with most ancient polytheistic religions, they were non-exclusive. They didn't see their cosmology as being the 'right' one, but would worship other gods from other religions as equally valid, if it produced results. It seems to me that most ancient religions were more a matter of pragmatism than any codified belief or worldview (if your neighbor worships a different fertility god and gets better harvests, it's time to include her in the pantheon). Maybe this doesn't really disqualify non-exclusive polytheistic religions from being religions, but to my mind it suggests that they're really all one.


That does not make it any less of a valid religion, either in its historical practice or in the neo-pagan forms.


Indeed. In fact, you just described hinduism, which is one of the biggest active religions out there.
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby The Mighty Thesaurus » Wed Apr 01, 2009 1:19 pm UTC

It means they won at religion.
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Re: 'Best' Religion

Postby philsov » Wed Apr 01, 2009 1:40 pm UTC

Alpha Omicron wrote:Woah. That many posts and no mention of Discordianism?


amen to that.

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One day Mal-2 asked the messenger spirit Saint Gulik to approach the Goddess and request Her presence for some desperate advice. Shortly afterwards the radio came on by itself, and an ethereal female Voice said YES?

"O! Eris! Blessed Mother of Man! Queen of Chaos! Daughter of Discord! Concubine of Confusion! O! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to lift a heavy burden from my heart!"

WHAT BOTHERS YOU, MAL? YOU DON'T SOUND WELL.

"I am filled with fear and tormented with terrible visions of pain. Everywhere people are hurting one another, the planet is rampant with injustices, whole societies plunder groups of their own people, mothers imprison sons, children perish while brothers war. O, woe."

WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT, IF IT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO?

"But nobody wants it! Everybody hates it."

OH. WELL, THEN STOP.

At which moment She turned herself into an aspirin commercial and left The Polyfather stranded alone with his species.
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