[SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby pheonixduprese » Wed Aug 04, 2010 8:34 pm UTC

beyondweird wrote:Oh, also, if I'm quoting you, do people want crediting with usernames or not?

(And thanks, that's already got me lots to talk about :) )


Sure, that would work. I guess. My username is waaaaaayyyy off from my real name, so... I really don't care though.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby TheGrammarBolshevik » Wed Aug 04, 2010 8:40 pm UTC

Nothing rhymes with orange,
Not even sporange.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Wed Aug 04, 2010 8:43 pm UTC

yay!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Sandry » Wed Aug 04, 2010 8:44 pm UTC


!!!

Woo! Keep the good things coming! :D
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Myria » Wed Aug 04, 2010 8:54 pm UTC

Sandry wrote:

!!!

Woo! Keep the good things coming! :D


Don't worry, the Supreme Court will 5-4 override today's ruling. :cry:

/MTF trans

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Wed Aug 04, 2010 9:33 pm UTC

I hope not.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby TheGrammarBolshevik » Wed Aug 04, 2010 9:52 pm UTC

I don't see any reason to assume that Kennedy will vote for the defendants.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Thu Aug 05, 2010 3:16 am UTC

beyondweird wrote:Do you think asexuality should be included within the LGBTQ spectrum? Why do you think it should/shouldn't?
Do you think it should be included in pride events? Why?
Have you come across the term via an LGBTQ group before?

Yes, since we're alternately sexual, one could say.
In Vancouver, there are asexuals who participate in the Pride parade and other aspects of formal LGBT organisation. (Yay Cole!)
I've only encountered the concept of asexuality online either through a site dedicated to the community, or in occasional references in this or that forum (including this one).

Yes, you can say "poxic said that". :D

/edited for stab. Might re-edit in a bit.
//Unstabbed!
Last edited by poxic on Fri Aug 06, 2010 1:52 am UTC, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby pheonixduprese » Thu Aug 05, 2010 3:34 am UTC

poxic wrote:...In Vancouver, there are asexuals who participate in the Pride parade and other aspects of formal LGBT organisation. (Yay Cole!)...


Yay Cole? Sorry if I seem nosy, but who is Cole

Edit: Unstabbed
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Thu Aug 05, 2010 3:53 am UTC

Uh, that was kind of a sort of sideways but actually terribly direct I guess reference to a major contributor to both the AVEN website and to an LGBT organisation associated with a local university. Cole is a singularly awesome human being who gives me fresh confidence in my own asexuality every damn time I meet ... him/her. Zie, let's say.

(I'd really like to not be calling out a real-life human animal online, except that zie is pretty much already identifiable to AVENites everywhere, and to many others besides. And that zie is out as asexual to everyone in zir own life, so no one who knows the nickname "Cole" will be surprised by this.)

Um, yeah. I suddenly feel a bit awkward. I think I'll run over to AVEN and ask Cole what zie thinks of this mini-reveal, and see if zie cares. Edits possibly forthcoming.

/poxic is assaulted by: doubt! Doubt does damage: 10 points! poxic counters: feebly! poxic retreats to consider!

OK, I'ma gonna stab that until I hear from the person in question. Phoenix, can you stab your reply for a bit? When I hear back, I'll let you know.

Edit for followup: unstabbed. Person in question was totally fine with my post. (Yay Cole!)
Last edited by poxic on Fri Aug 06, 2010 1:53 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Esperite » Thu Aug 05, 2010 5:02 am UTC

I just used this talking to somebody, and I think it really sums a large part of who I am up, so I'm gonna post this. Be warned, it is very bloggy, so I'm gonna spoiler it.
Spoiler:
I was never really sure if I was sexual or not, and even right now I'm not sure to what degree I'm asexual. I'm leaning towards demisexual (emotional feelings lead to sexual feelings, but attraction is not sexual in nature), but I'm still kinda gray. I never really looked at anyone and thought they were hot or sexy or anything like that. I knew what socially was considered good looking, sexy, etc, but it never registered personally for me. (as an aside, this may have helped lead me into anime; because the art style isn't completely realistic, and emphasizes emotional state, I identified with it much more.) But I never really cared either, and not caring about romance or attraction hasn't really been a problem, other than uncomfortable feelings whenever my friends talked about people they thought looked good. I've always liked cute things, and emotional attachment is important for me, especially since I'm shy around people I don't know, and really friendly with my friends, so I tend to just get a few really good friends and get really close. I also used to mainly become friends with other boys (partly because I didn't want association to make people think I was attracted to them, which internalized and took me a while to counteract) ,I just slowly realized all this, and when I started to get more female friends everything, well, stayed the same. I didn't feel closer to my female friends, I didn't like them any more, and I realized that this was okay. I didn't need to like my guy friends more than my girl friends, or vice-versa, and I could just be the same no matter what. And, once I realized I was even the least bit sexual, it all kind of come together. I mostly feel emotionally attracted to people, rather than to the societal norm of appearance, so it took me a while to notice any of my feelings, since they are so similar to my friendships. But, since I feel the same with girl and guy friends, I just was able to realize that maybe I just liked both. And it's been really helpful to realize this and to accept this, since I've been able to recognize my feelings more. Now I realize that I like one of my guy friends, and it's nice knowing this. I even got all jittery when I found out he is bisexual too.


second, about discovering my transsexuality
Spoiler:
When I was young, I didn't really hang out with girls much, and I was uncomfortable around girls. Even people I knew really well like family friends and such. Partly because I was scared people would think I liked them, and partly because I was scared people would call me a girl. I even did silly stuff, like standing up in restroom stalls (since girls can't pee standing up) when I was in a stall just to pee (I never liked urinals.) I just really avoided anything people could call me a girl for. It's not even like I had anything to be scared of; noone was calling me names or anything, and there was no indication anyone was even thinking of calling me a girl, the thought of being labeled as a girl just really scared me as a kid. I really did not want that.
As I grew up, and I was trying to overcome my internalized avoidance of girls and uncomfortability, I also started, like any hormonal teen/preteen, to think about sex. Just fantasies and daydreams, but something that was common in my daydreams was that I wanted to feel both sides of sex, the guy and the girl. I wanted to, whether though surgery, mind control, magic, or proxy, feel what is was like to have female anatomy. I wanted to know what it was like, but in additional to the male stuff I had.
More recently, I had my epiphiny moment while I was daydreaming. I was just thinking about what it was gonna be like when I entered the workforce, and this was the first time I had really thought seriously (semi-seriously at least; I was thinking of interesting situations cause I had been reading notalwaysright.com) about my immediate future. But I liked stories with the main character as a girl. I tried to put myself in there, as a guy, but it just felt, well, better to have a girl there. And I thought about myself in there, but as a girl. I created scenerios about it, with me being a girl, some just normalish scenerios, but other times about what I would do if I really did become a girl, how I'd tell coworkers, and stuff like that. And I found that I really liked the idea, I wanted it. It felt right, and being a girl just seemed like a good idea. Even though my entire percieved "knowledge" about who transsexuals were boiled down to "people who paid a bunch of money and had surgery to have a sex change," I still thought that it was something I seriously wanted. I looked up some prices, and then found some help sites, and I discovered that I wasn't alone, and that it wasn't just eccentric people who wanted to have a sex change, it was something that regular people felt. I dove into any information I could find, and I thought about it and daydreamed about it nearly every day afterwords for months. The thought of being a girl just made me feel warm and fuzzy inside, it's such a great feeling, and I wanted it all the time. I still wasn't sure if I wanted to be a girl, or if I just wanted to be special, to be interesting, and to have a great story for myself, but I eventually decided that I had to tell my mom, even if I wasn't sure. She was very helpful, and she dove into any information she could find to understand how I felt, since she knew next to nothing at the start, just like I did. Once I got a counselor to talk to, things got easier. I had someone I could just talk to, explain how I felt to, and it was scheduled, so I actaully did it, instead of just putting it off like I usually do. I became more certain, told more of my family, and here I am now. I'm trying to get to my friends to tell them, and I'm trying to find an opportunity to go out in public as a girl.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Thu Aug 05, 2010 7:12 am UTC

Just finished reading through the entire 136-page decision in the Perry case. It's nice to see a good logical argument at work.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Hale » Thu Aug 05, 2010 7:36 am UTC

Hello there everyone, I've been lurking on this thread for a week or so, started reading it after I came to terms with the fact that I'm both bisexual and transexual after over a year of struggling with such feelings. Since coming to these realizations I've been hanging around threads like this and other similar places on the internet. I have to say there is a lot of good advice here, and I hope to share in my own journey with all of you.

Spoiler:
Now for the meat of my story, so I can know that it is in the open, at least somewhere. When I was very young, pre-kindergarten age, I was always playing with the girls in my neighborhood instead of the boys, just doing things that girls do at that age; playing with shoes, nails, hair, etc. etc. Come schooling days I started playing more with boys, running around outside, climbing trees, digging, all of that. Going through elementary, I only had a few friends, all of whom I had known for a long time, about half of them were girls, despite the idea of cooties for different genders and such. This continued on through middle-school where things started to change. I don't just mean the normal hormonal changes then, but most of my friends were moving away/changing schools, growing apart we were. At this time my parents were also having trouble, and that ended with divorce. In 8th grade and into 9th, I was lonely, depressed, and had occasional thoughts of suicide. I also acquired a heavy WoW addiction, which lead my grades to plummet. It was at the end of my freshman year in a very anti-gay high school that I first really discovered a part of me that was more feminine. I started caring a bit more about my appearance, and started wondering what life would have been like I was born a woman. Those thoughts faded and went away for about half a year, at which point I was switching schools, to the one I am enrolled in now. It is a much smaller school, and much more accepting of differences in people, for the most part. Almost as soon as I was in a less generally hostile environment, said thoughts returned and have stayed fairly constant for the past year.

My situation now, two semesters away from college, is living with my mother, who until this point I have not said anything about. She is a former professor at the local University, 6 years retired now. We manage to get along for the most part, but are such different people that we haven't really done anything, even something as simple as a movie, in 4 years. She is liberal enough in most things, not racist or outwardly homophobic, but is rather disconnected from the struggles that LGBTIQQ face, and never comments one way or the other. None of her friends are openly LGBT, but I have slight suspicions of one of them being closest. I think she would accept me for who I am, but not really understand it or what is needed, or the challenges of just being me. The problem I am worried about is rejection and refusal to help pay for my college. Since she started saving for my education long before I was born, as things currently stand I shouldn't have much of a problem with funding unless I go out of state. All in all, despite living with her for all my life, we aren't close and I have no idea how she would react.
My father and I have never been really close, as we have little in common. He's a business owner and well respected in our little city for his commitment to the environment, and a more than decent enough guy on his own. He spent the last few years getting back on his feet, as, before he an my mother divorced, his depression took a big turn for the worse and he lost a fairly large investment and some land that he had had for many years. I think he could accept and understand this eventually, but I'm not sure how he would take it at first.
I'm not at all close to the rest of my family, and think most of them would take it fairly well, with the possible exception of an uncle&aunt. Those two are really the only religious people among my relations, and they are anti-gay, conservative, outspoken christians.
The town I'm living in really is about as neutral as you can get for a city of 120,000+ people. About equal portions of the town are pro- and anti-LGBT with the majority being neutral. Despite this being practically a border town, there are relatively few problems with true gangs, but the church is a fairly strong presence in the lives of the majority. We have never held a pride parade, but there is no surface opposition. My school is likewise, with several people being openly anti-gay and an equal number being openly gay, the rest being fairly neutral.

My problem now is that I don't really have anyone to talk with about this around me right now. I was talking to a therapist friend of the family a few months ago, but didn't go near any of these issues for a couple reasons. He is a really old friend of the family, and since I was 16 at the time, was worried he might find cause to break patient confidentiality, as I had no idea how he would take this sort of thing. I haven't had any really close friends since middle school, and that looks unlikely to change for the time being.
A few weeks ago, I was ready to put off talking to someone seriously about this until I knew I could provide for my future, but now I feel it is more urgent and have no where to turn, or so it seems. I'm no longer really depressed, and feel I could survive another year or two before doing anything if I need to, but I don't want to wait that long if there is some way I can start transitioning without revealing too much anyone close to me yet. Right now I just want to share my story with people who have had similar experiences, even in the slightest.


On a note for something not in my spoiler at all, can anyone recommend a shampoo/conditioner that wouldn't be too oily, yet would help my hair stop frizzing up in the humidity? It's really been an issue this summer since my hair is now past shoulder length, and I already have an oily complexion.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Thu Aug 05, 2010 7:45 am UTC

Welcome Hale, glad to have you here. :) Decided who to talk with about what (and when) can definitely be a difficult matter, I empathize with you there.

Hale wrote:On a note for something not in my spoiler at all, can anyone recommend a shampoo/conditioner that wouldn't be too oily, yet would help my hair stop frizzing up in the humidity? It's really been an issue this summer since my hair is now past shoulder length, and I already have an oily complexion.


I personally use Pantene's Classic Care shampoo and conditioner; they're a pretty safe bet for decent results. The main advice I'd give is don't use a 2-in-1 shampoo+conditioner product - the "jack of all trades, master of none" maxim definitely applies here; 2-in-1's just are subpar at both tasks.

Pantene as well as some of the other decent shampoo brands have other formulas that you could also try that are specifically designed to reduce frizz.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Thu Aug 05, 2010 1:42 pm UTC

What Aaeriele said about 2 in 1s is totally correct.

Personally, I just go into the shampoo section, look at what the different types of shampoo say, and find one that says it does what you want. buy and try. Repeat until you find something that works.

I love the herbal essences, but really most shampoos (as long as they're not 2 in 1s) are good.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby podbaydoor » Thu Aug 05, 2010 4:56 pm UTC

I use Herbal Essences, as does my best friend whose hair is best described as "Hermione-like" (if you've ever read the Harry Potter series, you know what I'm referring to). She uses the anti-frizz version that Herbal Essences has, whatever it's called.

Garnier Fructis is decent, too.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Whelan » Thu Aug 05, 2010 7:49 pm UTC

I use sainsbury's own, but being a cis male that's not really any help at all is it? Smells like apples though.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby meatyochre » Thu Aug 05, 2010 9:01 pm UTC

I'm a big fan of dove shampoo and conditioner. It's very moisturizing and smells good but not fruity. I don't like fruity shampoo smell.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Ashlah » Thu Aug 05, 2010 9:16 pm UTC

I don't recall seeing it, but if this has already been posted, forgive me. It's a touching story: http://childrenshospitalblog.org/childr ... -new-hope/
I had no idea this kind of treatment was (somewhat) available for children.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby meatyochre » Thu Aug 05, 2010 9:58 pm UTC

Ashlah wrote:I don't recall seeing it, but if this has already been posted, forgive me. It's a touching story: http://childrenshospitalblog.org/childr ... -new-hope/
I had no idea this kind of treatment was (somewhat) available for children.

I'm still reading the article. Very interesting.

Is it normal for a trans child to indicate disgust with their genitals at such a young age (she was only 4)? I didn't even know what genitals did at that age except that's where pee comes out.

(edited for gender correctness, sorry)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Kewangji » Thu Aug 05, 2010 10:21 pm UTC

I want to wear skirts/dresses, but I really don't want to explain myself when people ask, so I don't do it as often as I like to. :(

Unrelated: That article is the only place I've seen 'tween' without the usual contempt that comes along with the word. Heh.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Sarr » Thu Aug 05, 2010 10:35 pm UTC

Out of curiosity, what age is average for trans people to start to figure out that they are trans?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Lumpy » Thu Aug 05, 2010 10:42 pm UTC

I figured it out at 8, I think, but I have tons of memories from before then, and all my earliest ones, that make me go "Huh." when I become introspective. And apparently a lot of things I can't remember that my parents never told me about until I came out to them.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby PM 2Ring » Thu Aug 05, 2010 10:57 pm UTC

I remember being hurt & disappointed when adults laughed at me around age 5 when they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said "A woman!". I wasn't totally serious, and I was partly motivated by wanting to give a surprising answer (as expected, they said things like "But don't you want to be a fireman, or an astronaut, etc) but I was a bit baffled by their explanation that I couldn't be a woman because of my anatomy. To say I have a penis because I'm a boy seemed reasonable enough, but to say I'm a boy because I have a penis seemed the wrong way around. And it still does.

I was never exactly disgusted by my genitals, just somewhat bemused that someone like me should have a penis. :)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Esperite » Thu Aug 05, 2010 11:53 pm UTC

I had some thoughts earlier, but I didn't realize that I was trans until I was 16, during the summer between school years. I also wouldn't say that I'm digusted with my genitals, just, kind of annoyed I guess. It gets in the way =\
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby meatyochre » Fri Aug 06, 2010 12:01 am UTC

PM 2Ring wrote:I remember being hurt & disappointed when adults laughed at me around age 5 when they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I said "A woman!". I wasn't totally serious, and I was partly motivated by wanting to give a surprising answer (as expected, they said things like "But don't you want to be a fireman, or an astronaut, etc) but I was a bit baffled by their explanation that I couldn't be a woman because of my anatomy. To say I have a penis because I'm a boy seemed reasonable enough, but to say I'm a boy because I have a penis seemed the wrong way around. And it still does.

I was never exactly disgusted by my genitals, just somewhat bemused that someone like me should have a penis. :)

That's an adorable anecdote.

I have one that's a little disheartening, mostly because my mom doesn't understand what it means to be trans. She also thought my gay friend in high school was just going through a phase... though since my sister came out, she's trying to be more accepting. Anyway, short story time (potentially triggery):
Spoiler:
My mom is working with pagan children for Chicago's upcoming pagan pride day. There's a little boy, about 3 iirc, who consistently draws pictures of himself wearing dresses. When she told me that, I asked her if she had brought up the possibility of transexuality to his mom. But no, she hasn't and won't. Because CLEARLY the ONLY problem is that he's being raised by his mother and aunt and grandmother and has no strong male role model in his life.
:roll:
Why anybody thinks children need a strong male role model... I have no fucking idea. What about boys with two moms and no daddies? Or boys raised by a hardworking single mom? They turn out just fine if there is love and nurturing present, regardless if their parent has a goddamn penis or not.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Whelan » Fri Aug 06, 2010 12:13 am UTC

I was at a pagan meet-up last weekend, and it got me thinking, is there a correlation between paganism and alternative sexualities? Because most of the people there were at least a little bi, apparently. Edit: (I was with about 20 pagans, of whom 3 were definitely bi; one of those poly, and two who were bordering on asexual apparently.)

Also, and I'd like to apologise in advance if this is a rude question, but is MtF more common than FtM or do I just see more of the former? Could there be a reason that MtF is more common, or more 'publicised'?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby dragon » Fri Aug 06, 2010 12:26 am UTC

Whelan wrote:I was at a pagan meet-up last weekend, and it got me thinking, is there a correlation between paganism and alternative sexualities? Because most of the people there were at least a little bi, apparently. Edit: (I was with about 20 pagans, of whom 3 were definitely bi; one of those poly, and two who were bordering on asexual apparently.)
I have a hypothesis that most people in general are "at least a little bi", but people who are already in 'alternative' streams of society are more likely to embrace it. One such group I am in (that is not related to paganism): it appears that the majority of females are not straight. The males are more difficult to tally as there is still much higher pressure on them not to discuss any gay tendencies.

Another explanation might be that they gravitate towards groups that accept them more readily. Hm. Anyone know of any data on this?
Context? What context?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Hale » Fri Aug 06, 2010 5:13 am UTC

Losing all power for 2+ hours from a light storm can be really frustrating, since it lined up perfectly with sunset. Reading a book by headlamp is rather hard for an extended period of time. But enough of my electrical troubles, wanted to thank everyone for their hair product suggestions, am going to be looking around locally to see what I can get.

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Spoiler:
My mom is working with pagan children for Chicago's upcoming pagan pride day. There's a little boy, about 3 iirc, who consistently draws pictures of himself wearing dresses. When she told me that, I asked her if she had brought up the possibility of transexuality to his mom. But no, she hasn't and won't. Because CLEARLY the ONLY problem is that he's being raised by his mother and aunt and grandmother and has no strong male role model in his life.
:roll:
Why anybody thinks children need a strong male role model... I have no fucking idea. What about boys with two moms and no daddies? Or boys raised by a hardworking single mom? They turn out just fine if there is love and nurturing present, regardless if their parent has a goddamn penis or not.


I really don't get where the idea of a male role model being important ever came from. Any positive influence is a positive influence, and none the less from it's source. People grow up to who they are meant to be... for the most part.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Ubik » Fri Aug 06, 2010 6:09 am UTC

On a lighter note, I wouldn't mind having a strong male model in my life.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby pheonixduprese » Fri Aug 06, 2010 11:34 am UTC

Hale wrote:...
meatyochre wrote:
Spoiler:
My mom is working with pagan children for Chicago's upcoming pagan pride day. There's a little boy, about 3 iirc, who consistently draws pictures of himself wearing dresses. When she told me that, I asked her if she had brought up the possibility of transexuality to his mom. But no, she hasn't and won't. Because CLEARLY the ONLY problem is that he's being raised by his mother and aunt and grandmother and has no strong male role model in his life.
:roll:
Why anybody thinks children need a strong male role model... I have no fucking idea. What about boys with two moms and no daddies? Or boys raised by a hardworking single mom? They turn out just fine if there is love and nurturing present, regardless if their parent has a goddamn penis or not.


I really don't get where the idea of a male role model being important ever came from. Any positive influence is a positive influence, and none the less from it's source. People grow up to who they are meant to be... for the most part.


Actually... I think it would be good to have a male role model for a child. It would present a totally different way of critical thinking then what is usually presented by females. Not inteneded to offend or anything, just most of us know think that males think differently than females when it comes to certain things. But what's important is that they have a loving, nurturing parent. Right? Or am I just blubbering again?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby doogly » Fri Aug 06, 2010 12:05 pm UTC

pheonixduprese wrote:just we all know that males think differently than females when it comes to certain things.

This is not something we all know.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby GraphiteGirl » Fri Aug 06, 2010 2:10 pm UTC

Having positive role models of both genders might be a good idea just so that, growing up, kids know firsthand that there are excellent examples of both men and women out there in the world. Seems like it'd be a good safeguard against presuming that one gender is more capable or good than another.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby doogly » Fri Aug 06, 2010 2:10 pm UTC

Whoa, gender binary alert!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby GraphiteGirl » Fri Aug 06, 2010 2:17 pm UTC

Ooh, true. Sorry about that.
s/both genders/more than one gender; s/both men and women/people of all genders.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby viscusanima » Fri Aug 06, 2010 2:37 pm UTC

Could someone explain gender binary etc to me? I want to know about it, figured this would be the place to ask without anyone jumping on me.

Also I'm really confused as to the difference between transsexual and transgender - I was reading up on the term cisgender the other day and also came across cissexual, and even after reading the explanations I'm still really confused as to what the difference is. Sorry if this is offensive at all, I really don't mean to be, I'd just like to know so I don't end up saying something offensive out of ignorance.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby doogly » Fri Aug 06, 2010 3:01 pm UTC

The deal with the gender binary is that it is believed by some folks (like Doug, and like lots of LGBTIQQ) that a binary model of gender, where male and female are the two, exclusive, discrete options, is inadequate to describe human experience. The solution isn't to classify gender as a continuum with the classical male and female as extrema, either. Plenty people want off that axis altogether, or don't want to be classified at all. Some identify simply as "genderqueer" or something like this.

This is not to say that folks can't claim to be "male" or "female" as they like; if the classical genders work for you, power to ya.

My understanding is that transgender and transexual refer to the same thing. The idea is the bio-sex you were born with does not suit the culture-gender you identify with, so you want to trans on over. It has to do with the matching of gender and sex, so you can't really be trans-one and not trans-t'tother. Same with cis. Of course, this one is a question of language, so you will probably get a bunch of answers to this. Main candidate for a distinction probably involving how much medical activity someone engages in. I'd assume if someone made a point of being TG but not TS they don't feel the need to see any doctors about their gender, but absent a strong indication I'd make no assumption about the pending/completed medical procedures of anyone identifying as TG or TS.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Esperite » Fri Aug 06, 2010 3:07 pm UTC

The distinction I've understood for Transgender and Transsexual is using Transgender as an umbrella term to basically mean "not cisgendered" while using transsexual to mean "identifies as opposite the assigned gender" (or however you want to phrase it.)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby SecondTalon » Fri Aug 06, 2010 3:07 pm UTC

Assuming I'm understanding it all correctly...

Binary Gender is basically saying that there's Men and there's Women. Men are like Y and Women are like X (HA!). That there's no middle ground or crossing or aspects that cross the divide, as it were.

Which is, y'know, bullshit.

Transgender vs Transsexual - it's complicated.

Cisgender, Cissexual... huh, Cissexual doesn't mean what I thought it meant based on encountering the word right now. So they're pretty much the same, apparently. Still, what they both are is a person who feels as though they are one gender and their crunchy candy shell also reflects the same gender. The person feels like a woman and looks down to see ladybits, and so on. I mean, that's the basic definition. You can get into more detail when discussing gender roles in a society and how a person of a particular gender feels about those roles, and how a cisgender person would feel comfortable in those roles while a cissexual wouldn't necessarily be comfortable with the gender roles, but is comfortable with their gender.. but that's starting to get into hairsplitting territory on words that are still new.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby pheonixduprese » Fri Aug 06, 2010 3:13 pm UTC

Yay! Expanding vocabulary, one sexuality-related term at a time. :)
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