[SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Brace » Tue Apr 12, 2011 8:49 pm UTC

Whelp, today was interesting. The healthcare program I was enrolled in removed support for an estrogen serum panel, meaning it cost $100< more to get it done and as a result I... didn't get it done. So I only got my T levels tested, because that was only $55. Endocrinologist was cool about stuff, even my adventures in self-medication that I underwent during the 9 month gap since my last visit with her. ("When I was 125mg< on cyproterone it made me really fuzzy and disoriented" "Well that's bad, you could have a stroke... so, your breast development looks good. Do you present as female everywhere now?"). Endocrinologist said I also didn't have to worry about extra masculinization from weight gain. Cool beans.

Also my power got turned off, then turned back on. It's kind of a stupid story but since it was all resolved within the span of 5 hours or so I'm not even sure it's worth telling. Just wanted to note that to give some extra context to my day.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Tue Apr 12, 2011 9:13 pm UTC

Sounds a bit like a rollercoaster ride, but ultimately good, yes?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Brace » Tue Apr 12, 2011 9:23 pm UTC

Monika wrote:Sounds a bit like a rollercoaster ride, but ultimately good, yes?


I think so. My estrogen levels were ideal as of 9 months ago, but then again I also weighed 10 lbs less at that point. Maybe I should get my newly acquired credit card (with 20%< APR) set up and take care of it that way. Blah. On the plus side, it's looking like I can drop dutasteride from my regiment which will save significantly much money. I should know for sure in a week based on the results of the T panel.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Tue Apr 12, 2011 9:46 pm UTC

The T levels are the most important ones to get tested, anyway - E levels often fluctuate on their own; the main priority is making sure T is effectively suppressed.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Tue Apr 12, 2011 10:00 pm UTC

Aaeriele wrote:The T levels are the most important ones to get tested, anyway - E levels often fluctuate on their own; the main priority is making sure T is effectively suppressed.
That's what my doctor keeps telling me anyway.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Van » Wed Apr 13, 2011 1:20 pm UTC

So like, progesterone. My doctor was all "anecdotally, it helps with mood leveling sometimes in some people", so I tried it as an experiment. The last week has been the worst depression I've had in. Years? Ever? I've definitely never felt 1/10th this bad on anti depressants, so it really scares me to think what it'd be like off them.

Would extremely not recommend.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby doogly » Wed Apr 13, 2011 2:04 pm UTC

Van wrote:\My doctor was all "anecdotally

What the fuck, seriously.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Whelan » Wed Apr 13, 2011 2:31 pm UTC

"Patients have reported... But there is no research to support it."
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Brace » Wed Apr 13, 2011 2:35 pm UTC

I think progesterone (in the form of androcur) made me feel better generally, but also subjected me to much broader mood swings and with less provocation.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby doogly » Wed Apr 13, 2011 4:21 pm UTC

Whelan wrote:"Patients have reported... But there is no research to support it."

I know what an anecdote is. My shock is that anyone in the medical profession would give one the time of day.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Wed Apr 13, 2011 4:41 pm UTC

While I understand where you're coming from Doogly, the problem is that there really isn't a lot of research into the best dosages of hormones for trans women in general. Also, many doctors don't have access to even the small amount of research that IS available. They may have only 1 trans patient, or maybe they have half a dozen. Also, trans people are, in many instances, as knowledgeable as the doctors who are treating them when it comes to hormones.

so, yeah. My doc sited studies which showed that progesterone had no additional effect, and the side effects aren't "worth it". Not all doctors have that information.

Yay being trans, and having to not trust the medical field in general...
Last edited by Jessica on Wed Apr 13, 2011 4:55 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby doogly » Wed Apr 13, 2011 4:48 pm UTC

Jessica wrote: the medical fiend

They're not that bad.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby The Mighty Thesaurus » Wed Apr 13, 2011 5:16 pm UTC

That's just your privilege talking.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Vaniver » Wed Apr 13, 2011 6:05 pm UTC

doogly wrote:I know what an anecdote is. My shock is that anyone in the medical profession would give one the time of day.
Given how terrible the FDA is, I am not surprised. That is one of the main ways medicine gets done these days.
I mostly post over at LessWrong now.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby sophyturtle » Wed Apr 13, 2011 6:13 pm UTC

Also, different people react differently. I know with my doctors we have been almost desperate looking for drug treatments that will work, so we have tried many things including things off label.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Brace » Wed Apr 13, 2011 9:52 pm UTC

Testosterone results came back. I am at the lower end of the normal female range. Also, my endocrinologist's assistant helpfully informed me that I could "uhhh, stop the... *long pause* stop the testosterone". Which I am going to assume means stop the Dutasteride, because that makes substantially more sense. All things being equal I think it's safe to assume I am actually on track now, after over a year of general fuckery with hormones.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Wed Apr 13, 2011 10:09 pm UTC

Congrats!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Wed Apr 13, 2011 11:37 pm UTC

Kilroy(ZTC) wrote:Testosterone results came back. I am at the lower end of the normal female range. Also, my endocrinologist's assistant helpfully informed me that I could "uhhh, stop the... *long pause* stop the testosterone". Which I am going to assume means stop the Dutasteride, because that makes substantially more sense. All things being equal I think it's safe to assume I am actually on track now, after over a year of general fuckery with hormones.


That's wonderful news! ^_^
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby hanecter » Thu Apr 14, 2011 12:28 am UTC

I had a difficult experience today.

I went to a rally in support of ending sexual violence against women. There were several speakers...and they mentioned support groups and activist organisations for women that people could get involved in. I'm biologically male, and I don't identify as female. I don't belong there. But I don't identify as male either. There was a male speaker, and he talked about the group he was starting on campus to teach men how they can play a unique role in ending sexual violence because of their gender. It just felt wrong to me to be in that group, too...

I feel very alone and very very different.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Thu Apr 14, 2011 1:27 am UTC

Non-gendered? There's a few of us about. It's ... a bit strange, like the world doesn't have a slot I can fit into. To slightly misquote an acquaintance: "There are men over there, and women over there, and here's me in the middle being normal. I don't get why more people aren't normal." :wink:
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Isaac Hill » Thu Apr 14, 2011 1:40 am UTC

manictheatrefan wrote:Hi, LGBTIQQ thread.

I need advice.

There's this youth festival going on where I live during the last week of April, and I'm interested in going to a couple of the shows. Each of the shows has a dress code (e.g. '50s fashion, circus, mustaches) and for the variety show about gender, sex, and sexuality, anyone who dresses in drag gets in free. And there is no way I am going to pass up a good deal as well as the chance to have a lot of fun.

Except: I am a girl, and I have no idea how to go about dressing like a guy in an absolutely fabulous manner. 'Cause I really don't want to be the one in ratty jeans and a baseball cap and an AC/DC shirt or whatever (actually, that's not too bad an outfit...). I would be so into scouring thrift stores for awesome old tuxes, but I have a hard enough time getting the "girl clothes" there to fit me, let alone the "guy clothes." (Oh, the sartorial challenges of being 4'9".)

So... if anyone has any suggestions of any sort, I'd really appreciate them :D

How about an Angus Young-type schoolboy outfit? Even if you don't dress specifically like that, at 4'9" you'll probably have better luck looking at boys' clothes rather than mens'.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby hanecter » Thu Apr 14, 2011 2:56 pm UTC

poxic wrote:Non-gendered? There's a few of us about. It's ... a bit strange, like the world doesn't have a slot I can fit into. To slightly misquote an acquaintance: "There are men over there, and women over there, and here's me in the middle being normal. I don't get why more people aren't normal." :wink:

I identify as androgynous. Thanks for that quote- it made me smile :)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Thu Apr 14, 2011 3:44 pm UTC

On Saturday, while I was waiting in the Stuttgart train station for someone who eventually didn't show up I bought a rainbow wrist bracelet, which I had been planning to do for a while. I love it dearly. I wore it that day in the city.

I wore it some more at home, even once for sleeping, because it makes me happy.

I wear it to work today. I don't have a team here (my team is international and we work together by phone, e-mail and screensharing). Only my manager's manager's assistant sits near me and otherwise people whom I don't know and who don't know me. I may wear it again tomorrow when I meet with someone from my former team. I am worried about it, but not sure about what exactly.

I am becoming sad that I have not told anyone in my family. This is recent. I used to not care / not want to tell. I want to tell my sister.

But what to tell? That I am bi? Am I? Being physical with the woman I date was nice. But not really mega-ultra-nice as other people describe experiencing sex. Really, I am not much farther in knowing whether I am hetero, lesbian, bi- or asexual than I was some months ago. I feel more free now anyway.

Spoiler:
In the meantime: At my encouragement, my husband has slept with another woman. It sucked for him. So ... is it him? Could sex with other men feel good for me? I suspect no.

So what to tell? "Let's see the attraction to men and women - simplifying to two genders here - as two separate scales, with both 0 meaning asexual, one (between 1% (?) and) 100% and one 0 meaning homo- or heterosexual and everything else potentially being called bisexual I guess I might be somewhere down here *paint some low percentage on both scales* ... or not, I don't really know." I guess I will call it bi for now and for simplicity.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Thu Apr 14, 2011 4:45 pm UTC

Monika wrote:Being physical with the woman I date was nice. But not really mega-ultra-nice as other people describe experiencing sex.


Honestly most people are over-hyping sex.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Sarr » Thu Apr 14, 2011 7:03 pm UTC

*Hugs for Monika* For what it's worth, identifiers like "straight", "bi", and "gay" are, while convenient, often quite fluid and insufficient. Convenience often trumps specificity, but if you don't find you fit into any particularly easily, know it's something a lot of people (myself included) go through. As for the rainbow bracelet, I wouldn't really worry about it. It's as likely to be written off as just an accessory as it is to be viewed as anything particularly significant.

Unrelated, and open question to all the trans folks here. How did you come up with your name? I've been trying to find something that I like, but nothing easily springs to mind, and I was wondering what others' experiences in the area are like.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Thu Apr 14, 2011 7:12 pm UTC

I just went with something I liked.

I've heard of people picking the name their parents would have given them if they were of the opposite sex. Some people just take the opposite gender form of their current name (or middle name). Sometimes people ask to be named by someone else who cares about them.

I always liked the name Jessica, and just started going by it. It's always been my favourite.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Brace » Thu Apr 14, 2011 7:51 pm UTC

My name is actually also Jessica >_>

I picked it because I wanted a plain name. It was actually kind of reactionary, as many of the transwomen I had met in my life to that point had very ostentatious names that almost seemed calculated to draw attention. No offense to anyone here. You can call my sentiment an outgrowth of internalized transphobia if you like, that probably isn't too far from the truth.

...but on the other hand, part of the reason I chose Jessica is because it shortens to Jessie. I've actually always been a fan of girls names that shorten to androgynous names (I also considered Nicole, Casey, and a few other names along similar lines). I guess at the time I felt that I was a girl, but also a somewhat boyish girl. Of course, recently I've been wondering if it might be more complicated than just that. It seems like it might be. I would actually prefer Jessie, but of course, if I introduce myself to most people as Jessie that means being misgendered. Ugh.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Jessica » Thu Apr 14, 2011 8:00 pm UTC

Yeah, I go by Jess most of the time, but Jessica when I think people might misgender me. Like at work on the phone with clients...
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby RebeccaRGB » Thu Apr 14, 2011 9:52 pm UTC

Sarr wrote:Unrelated, and open question to all the trans folks here. How did you come up with your name?

My name came to me. I first came across it when I was little, while watching Roseanne and reading The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, and I instantly loved it. Even though I was completely oblivious of my trans nature at the time, I started attributing it to myself in middle school.

My middle name came from the documentary TransGeneration. Gabbie was my favorite because she was a computer science major, like me, and she had a lot of personality problems, like me.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Shivahn » Thu Apr 14, 2011 10:19 pm UTC

Jessica wrote:I've heard of people picking the name their parents would have given them if they were of the opposite sex. Some people just take the opposite gender form of their current name (or middle name). Sometimes people ask to be named by someone else who cares about them.


Hah, my mom "always knew" I was going to be a boy, so I don't have the first option.

This name was derived using the second method, but I doubt it'd be the one I'd go by if I ended up legally changing my name (though, Shiv and Shivvie are both nicknames I've become very attached to, so...)
RebeccaRGB wrote:My middle name came from the documentary TransGeneration. Gabbie was my favorite because she was a computer science major, like me, and she had a lot of personality problems, like me.

I have seen that! My mom watched it and invited me to watch some of the episodes with her :P

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby TheGrammarBolshevik » Thu Apr 14, 2011 10:45 pm UTC

RebeccaRGB wrote:I was completely oblivious of my trans nature at the time

This is making me think of trans-ness like it's Buddhism. I feel guilty.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby joshz » Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:55 am UTC

The Delaware House just approved civil unions! That means it'll go to the governor, who's said he'll sign it. Wooo!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Fri Apr 15, 2011 12:57 am UTC

I have tested Moom (natural hair removal stuff, kinda like doing hot waxing, but it's not wax, it's a honey-like sugar-based matter). I was asked in the xkcd-q chat to say how it is when I try it, I decided to write it here, maybe more people are interested.

I tried it on my legs.
Contrary to what they advertize it's not pain-free.
But:
- I even find shaving too painful, and most people don't, so it might be painfree or almost painfree for others.
- It's bearable.
- Moom only is heated a little bit (under 40°C = 104°F; in the microwave), so it's not painful from heat like hot wax might be.
- It is most likely less painful than cold wax, which apparently is very painful (I haven't tried, I just read about it).

It takes a long time. I would plan an hour or so for lower legs. Well I guess it depends also on how much of a sissy you are and how small the sections are you do in one "rip-off" :P . So if you are a woman who knows no pain (or a man, nothing against guys removing hair if they feel like it), you might be faster.

So these two things in combination lead me to saying I will go back to Veet (chemical hair removal stuff, takes about 5 minutes; stinks; certainly a higher risk of allergic reactions).

But if you are allergic or sensitive to the chemicals, I would recommend it.

Some things to consider:
- They recommend the hair to be about 1 cm / half an inch long.
- So if you have not shaved, you might have to trim it.
- But if you have, you would have to let it regrow 1-2 weeks.

- Shortly after using it you would see again some hairs, those that were too short to be ripped out or those that were still under the skin. But after repeating it (maybe several times) this would get less.

- It's relatively expensive (I got it from amazon.co.uk for 14.50 pounds/jar) and I went through about half a jar. (But maybe I used too much, they recommend "paper thin", which I did not always manage.)

- For comparison, this is what my legs look like when I do nothing: They did not look like this when I tested Moom, I had used Veet about 2 weeks before, so it was optimal, few hairs and about 1 cm long.


What may also be of interest: Contrary to chemical stuff that would probably poison you if you got it into your eyes, nose or mouth, Moom may be used on the face. The small manual specifically mentions chin and area above the lip. But it is advertized to cis women with few soft hairs there.

But do not fret: My intrepid husband has tried it. He is annoyed by his facial hair: When he shaves in the morning it looks like a 3-day-beard in the evening.

Summary finding:
- Ouch! (I know I am not going to try this. But my husband wants to continue.)
- It works.
- It works better if somebody else does it on your face.
- Even though the little strips are apparently meant for the face, it works better with the large once (longer "tail" for pulling more rapidly). But still make sure to always only do a tiny part (as facial hair changes directions much more often).
- You probably don't want to do the whole face in one sitting.
- It bleeds! My husband didn't care, he said shaving also often leads to cuts and bleeding. But he was bleeding from more locations on his face than after shaving. But it also stopped quickly without doing much about it.

So, I can't really say I recommend it. But it's a trade-off, over stubliness in the evening. If you can afford permanent hair removal (lasers or whatever), better go for that.
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I'll go put my shirt back on for this kind of shock. No I won't. I'll get my purse.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby sophyturtle » Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:33 am UTC

I know I love Moom, but I also have a high pain tolerance (I was doing it hanging out with Meaux and she says I did not flinch). My bikini area did bleed the first few times, but I thin I have the hang off it or something because I don't have that problem anymore. They say it makes the hair grow back in finer because it removes the whole hair, so that could help. This could also be the reason that last time I did it I even got the smooth skin feeling, which I did not get right away (maybe because of those too short hairs before).
It does take a long time, so I do it with a show on or something.
The main reason I love it is that my hair grows pretty fast and it keeps it gone longer. If I shave my bikini line grows about as fast as many faces, having stubble coated skin in about 12 hours. With Moom, a week later I have the odd hair and now (about 2 weeks later) stubble is just starting to poke out. I have also done it about 4 times now so that might be slowing it more. I also like the earth friendly-ness of it.

It is certainly not for everyone (obviously) but I find the longer time to get get pays me back because I don't have hair for about 2 weeks. I honestly can't really tell with the pricy-ness. I am on my second jar now (I do my lower legs and bikini line) and I have purchased more strips so I can do everything in one sitting.

YMMV
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Isaac Hill
Systems Analyst????
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Isaac Hill » Fri Apr 15, 2011 3:15 am UTC

Middletown, RI had an LGBTIQQ prom recently. The local paper wrote it up on the front page. I can't find a direct link to the full article, but you can search for "alternative prom" in the archives for April 4. There's also photos.

Also good is the way I heard about it. Every week, the local paper puts out a 6-page mini-edition to send to non-subscribers as a promotional tool. This article was the front page this week. So not only did the prom get good press, but the owners decided that a pro-LGBTIQQ article would entice potential customers rather than scare them off. If you're feeling rejected, know that in some communities, you're actually marketable.
Alleged "poems"
that don't follow a rhyme scheme
are not poetry

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apricity
almost grown-up but not quite
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby apricity » Fri Apr 15, 2011 4:32 am UTC

Yesterday's (Wednesday 4/13) episode of The Daily Show showed footage of a ton of news networks attacking an ad in which the woman at the head of J. Crew was photographed with her 5-year-old son, who was wearing neon pink toenail polish. The networks were all questioning the gender roles that the ad espouses. TDS did a fantastic job making them look ridiculous for making the nail polish into a huge issue that automatically called his future gender or sexuality identities into question, while also making it clear that it would be equally fine if he did turn out to be gay or trans.
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joshz
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby joshz » Fri Apr 15, 2011 4:47 am UTC

Yeah, that episode was wonderful. I was expecting something bad, but they did an excellent job on it. http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episod ... acy-morgan
You, sir, name? wrote:If you have over 26 levels of nesting, you've got bigger problems ... than variable naming.
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roband
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby roband » Fri Apr 15, 2011 8:57 am UTC


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M.C.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby M.C. » Fri Apr 15, 2011 10:01 am UTC

Well, yeah, it's not great, but I'm struggling to be outraged. These two guys were okay, if a little shaken up, and this negative publicity is more likely to damage the pub's reputation than anything else.

Though it does show a double standard as to what is considered obscene. A boy and girl are allowed to dry hump each other on a train yet gays can't kiss, in a bar of all places.
Nobody likes Milhouse!

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Monika
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Fri Apr 15, 2011 10:44 am UTC

I would like to see an A for asexual added to the thread title, i.e.
[SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQ Thread - Queer Support!
=>
[SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

What do you guys think?

We could ask the original poster michaelandjimi or a mod to do it.


On a related note, I like these kinds of animated gifs on blogs:

Image


On an unrelated note, this queer booklist seems good: http://www.queeried.com/gay-and-lesbian-books/ .
#xkcd-q on irc.foonetic.net - the LGBTIQQA support channel
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