[SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

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Aaeriele
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Wed Nov 26, 2014 2:44 am UTC

socktopus wrote:I posted the thing just now. Slightly nervous about the reaction from some of my more conservative friends (who're pretty well embedded in my social circles making it a bit impractical to not come out to them at the same time). We will see; today just got a lot more exciting :P


Good luck. :)
Vaniver wrote:Harvard is a hedge fund that runs the most prestigious dating agency in the world, and incidentally employs famous scientists to do research.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby 12obin » Fri Nov 28, 2014 11:29 pm UTC

PM 2Ring wrote:OTOH, in many parts of the world, acceptance of gender and sexuality variation is a lot better than it was several decades ago, but even in the most enlightened districts there's still plenty of room for improvement.


I want to unpack this a little bit. In terms of what is enlightened, and what is the opposite of that.

Throughout global history, lots of activities and identities that we would consider queer, trans, or gender non-conforming, have been understood and accepted. Lots of cultures have had and some continue to have a three- or four-gender system. Many have had or continue to have a framework wherein it's acceptable to transition, and there are frameworks around same-gender romantic/ sexual relationships as well.

It has often been colonial forces that imposed binarist, cissexist, and homophobic beliefs, so I'm wary of approaching queer and trans liberation as enlightenment to be spread throughout the world, often by the same cultures/nations/peoples who spread the opposite to begin with.

edit: Here's an example of something I felt strongly about, in an article much better-written than my hurried forum post.
https://gaygoesglobal.wordpress.com/201 ... perialist/
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby PM 2Ring » Sat Nov 29, 2014 4:53 am UTC

Good points, 12obin. I guess I was mostly thinking about Judeo-Christian cultures in that post.

OTOH, even in cultures that have traditionally recognised alternative genders things weren't always rosy, even before Western cultural imperialism was added to the mix. Eg some parts of traditional Hindu culture had a place for 3rd gender people, and it was considered good luck for a newborn child to get the blessing of such a person, but still 3rd gender people weren't / aren't considered particularly respectable. OTOH, in some Native American nations, transgender persons were treated with respect, at least they were before the Christian missionaries came along...

Leslie Feinberg has lots of fascinating information about attitudes towards / treatment of alternative gender throughout history around the world in the classic work Transgender Warriors. I guess this book is a little bit dated these days: it was published when the Web was still in its infancy and there wasn't a lot of accessible info available about trans issues and history. But IMHO it's still worth reading.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby rath358 » Mon Dec 01, 2014 9:29 pm UTC

Fucking hell!
Last week, my therapist said that her boss sent a letter on to an endo. I just called the endo, and they said that they still haven't received anything. God fucking damn it, i can't deal with this kind of bullshit right now.
*smashes something*

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby 12obin » Mon Dec 01, 2014 9:51 pm UTC

*smashes something in solidarity*
<3
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Mon Dec 01, 2014 10:32 pm UTC

*supports smashing*
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby NovaNatalia » Mon Dec 01, 2014 10:59 pm UTC

*Provides glass cups and brick wall for satisfying smashing*
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Mokele » Tue Dec 02, 2014 2:56 pm UTC

Image
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby rath358 » Tue Dec 02, 2014 4:13 pm UTC

Thanks, everyone! <3
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby CelticNot » Fri Dec 05, 2014 6:47 pm UTC

*cough* 'ello. Signed up a month and some ago and did nothing with this, finally posting. MtF, going for my first appointment with the local "gatekeeper" in a week and a half. Feeling really nervous, for obvious reasons. A year and a half of thinking and over-thinking has done nothing to settle the doubts and worries in my mind, at odds with the strong feeling in my heart that this is what I want.

So, yeah. Hi. That's all I wanted to say.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby NovaNatalia » Sat Dec 06, 2014 11:44 am UTC

Does anyone have experience with cyproterone acetate? The side effects sound quite ... intimidating, particularly hepatotoxicity.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby DaBigCheez » Sat Dec 06, 2014 6:46 pm UTC

Heya, ClockworkSky! Here's hoping things go well for you :)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Sun Dec 07, 2014 7:27 am UTC

hi, ClockworkSky :)
Vaniver wrote:Harvard is a hedge fund that runs the most prestigious dating agency in the world, and incidentally employs famous scientists to do research.

afuzzyduck wrote:ITS MEANT TO BE FLUTTERSHY BUT I JUST SEE AAERIELE! CURSE YOU FORA!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Sungura » Wed Dec 10, 2014 9:18 pm UTC

Is xkcd-q still around on IRC? I can't remember how to get on IRC anymore and I'm not even sure if that channel is still active. I have some personal questions I think would be easier to ask and get advice on in "real time".
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Maelstrom. » Thu Dec 11, 2014 1:14 am UTC

Sungura wrote:Is xkcd-q still around on IRC? I can't remember how to get on IRC anymore and I'm not even sure if that channel is still active. I have some personal questions I think would be easier to ask and get advice on in "real time".


The IRC channel is still around. You can easily get online using a web client like http://irc.lc/foonetic/xkcd-q/Sungura. People in the channel would be more than happy to help you get set up with a real IRC client if you want.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Thu Dec 11, 2014 6:29 pm UTC

If you have Firefox you can install the extension ChatZilla.
Then you can connect to the server:
/server irc.foonetic.net
Then you choose a nickname, e.g.
/nick Sungura
Then you join the channel:
/join xkcd-q
There are 34 users in the channel right now.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Bekah » Fri Dec 12, 2014 2:14 am UTC

just saying hi :) My name is Bekah and my relationship parameters are "I like you, do you like me?" Gender/Sexuality is mostly irrelevant in my attractions.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Sat Dec 13, 2014 10:33 am UTC

Hi Bekah!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby frakitol » Sat Dec 13, 2014 10:02 pm UTC

Hi everyone. I'm (rather tentatively) poking my head in. I fall into the questioning category. Specifically trans* questioning. I'm not really comfortable yet with the idea of talking about myself too much in this thread, due to the search engine indexing here in General, but I do have a thread in Dear SB that I just updated.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Aaeriele » Sun Dec 14, 2014 4:45 am UTC

frakitol wrote:Hi everyone. I'm (rather tentatively) poking my head in. I fall into the questioning category. Specifically trans* questioning. I'm not really comfortable yet with the idea of talking about myself too much in this thread, due to the search engine indexing here in General, but I do have a thread in Dear SB that I just updated.


Welcome.
Vaniver wrote:Harvard is a hedge fund that runs the most prestigious dating agency in the world, and incidentally employs famous scientists to do research.

afuzzyduck wrote:ITS MEANT TO BE FLUTTERSHY BUT I JUST SEE AAERIELE! CURSE YOU FORA!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Sun Dec 14, 2014 3:06 pm UTC

Welcome frakitol!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Wonderbolt » Mon Dec 15, 2014 11:08 pm UTC

Poly things. They are complicated.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Tue Dec 16, 2014 10:54 pm UTC

Do you have relationship difficulties?

Luckily my husband and girlfriend get along fine and her husband is nice, too.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Wonderbolt » Tue Dec 16, 2014 11:30 pm UTC

Monika wrote:Do you have relationship difficulties?

Not specifically. It's more that it can be hard to determine when I don't have the energy to handle another relationship (even though I like some person really much), or how to divide time between relationships. This is especially tricky because I'm in relationships with people who live quite far away, which makes it hard to spend enough time with them as it is.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Tue Dec 16, 2014 11:37 pm UTC

Yeah, time-planning sounds like a typical poly problem. I hope you can figure it all out in a way that works for everyone involved! *hugs* if wanted.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby CelticNot » Wed Dec 17, 2014 6:45 pm UTC

My meeting with the doctor went well; I'm on testosterone blockers now, with follow-up appointments three and seven months from now. So... first steps.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby CelticNot » Wed Dec 17, 2014 8:50 pm UTC

By the by, frakitol, I read your Dear SB thread, and what you've written matches my own thoughts in many ways over the last year and a half. We're not that alike (I'm older than you by 10+ years for a start, married, and I've made the decision to transition), but that feeling of wishing you'd been born female, of wanting to be feminine but still kick-ass (I've described my idealized self as a tomboy), of being gynephilic... I can identify with all of that.

Whatever you choose, wherever your journey takes you, know you're not alone.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Wonderbolt » Wed Dec 17, 2014 10:14 pm UTC

Monika wrote:Yeah, time-planning sounds like a typical poly problem. I hope you can figure it all out in a way that works for everyone involved! *hugs* if wanted.

:nodnod: It really can be! Given the LDRness involved, though, a lot of it is... well, logistics. Which is kind of annoying, but I guess it can't really be helped.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Thu Dec 18, 2014 8:23 am UTC

Wonderbolt wrote:
Monika wrote:Yeah, time-planning sounds like a typical poly problem. I hope you can figure it all out in a way that works for everyone involved! *hugs* if wanted.

:nodnod: It really can be! Given the LDRness involved, though, a lot of it is... well, logistics. Which is kind of annoying, but I guess it can't really be helped.

I just saw an app for this! "The Poly Life" http://greenskyoverme.tumblr.com/post/1 ... ps-virakul

What does LDR mean?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby PM 2Ring » Thu Dec 18, 2014 9:58 am UTC

LDR == Long Distance Relationship(s)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby existentialpanda » Fri Dec 19, 2014 4:28 am UTC

So I told my parents I'm gay :D Indirectly, at any rate - I told them I'm seeing someone and very clearly used female pronouns to refer to her, and they didn't even blink. Just said "oh, okay" and started talking about how long it's been since they were dating people. No awkward conversations, at least not yet. May still happen, but I've done the hard part.

also my ladyfriend was wonderful about the whole thing - she's already been through this with her family and sent me virtual hugs (unfortunately not real ones because we're currently on opposite coasts) and I'm very happy right now :D

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Fri Dec 19, 2014 5:07 am UTC

Woot!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Wonderbolt » Sat Dec 20, 2014 1:37 am UTC

Sungura wrote:Is xkcd-q still around on IRC? I can't remember how to get on IRC anymore and I'm not even sure if that channel is still active. I have some personal questions I think would be easier to ask and get advice on in "real time".

Was nice to see you there. :)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Bekah » Sat Dec 20, 2014 2:48 am UTC

Sounds like awesome things all around :)

A Poly app...cool :D
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Sungura » Sat Dec 20, 2014 4:39 am UTC

Wonderbolt wrote:
Sungura wrote:Is xkcd-q still around on IRC? I can't remember how to get on IRC anymore and I'm not even sure if that channel is still active. I have some personal questions I think would be easier to ask and get advice on in "real time".

Was nice to see you there. :)

Thanks! I will be back hopefully quite often =)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Sat Dec 20, 2014 6:46 pm UTC

I was at the work Christmas party yesterday and on the way there met a colleague I know from the work LGBT group and via him met some other LGBT people who're not coming to LGBT meet-ups and it was one of the best Christmas parties ever.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Wonderbolt » Mon Dec 22, 2014 3:01 pm UTC

Monika wrote:
Wonderbolt wrote:
Monika wrote:Yeah, time-planning sounds like a typical poly problem. I hope you can figure it all out in a way that works for everyone involved! *hugs* if wanted.

:nodnod: It really can be! Given the LDRness involved, though, a lot of it is... well, logistics. Which is kind of annoying, but I guess it can't really be helped.

I just saw an app for this! "The Poly Life" http://greenskyoverme.tumblr.com/post/1 ... ps-virakul

I admittedly don't really like the primary/secondary distinction, and 'organizing' my partners kind of creeps me out. I try to keep these things *much* more flexible. I can see how it'd work for some people, though, and admittedly I'm in a bit of a different situation due to almost everyone living in places rather far apart.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Wonderbolt » Mon Dec 22, 2014 6:48 pm UTC

Completely unrelated, a kind of bad thing happened two days ago I posted here. And... could really just use hugs. Things are very hard right now.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Mon Dec 22, 2014 8:05 pm UTC

Aw shit. Plenty of hugs for you.

Don't worry about whether you're "reacting correctly" - there is no one true way to heal. Hold yourself in your heart and give yourself the compassion you would want to give to your best friend.

<3
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Mon Dec 22, 2014 11:13 pm UTC

*hugs Wonderbolt so much*

Trigger warning for sexual assault, rape

Spoiler:
You're not "crying rape over a minor thing"! Who knows what that guy was up to? Someone who tries to drag women into his car is certainly up to no good. I'm sure he is the kind of guy who gives women lots of alcohol at his shitty parties or maybe even date-rape drugs and then deludes himself into thinking that it's not rape if she's too drunk to say no. And if not that, then copious groping and other shit. Good you beat the shit out of him! Serves him right! Maybe he will not harass a woman so soon again.

Your housemate is shitty, too. Why the hell would they say a thing like that? Why would you make up such a thing to tell them, why would they even think that? That's a horrible thing to say when someone tells them about sexual assault. Also sexual assault has little to do with how the victim was dressed or how pretty or not pretty she is, it even doesn't have a lot to do with sex, it's mostly about controlling the victim and feeling powerful.
*moar hugs*
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