Edit: Below is a happy story, not my usual litany of woe!
That's very awesome then Monika ^_^
As for awesome news, I have some myself, and it'll be told chronologically because I like narrative style! On Monday I went back to work, and was feeling really ... bleh. Couldn't concentrate, read a grand total of three pages in the eight hours I was there. But when my PhD supervisor asked what's wrong (I had not the most optimistic demeanour) I told him, and he responded by giving me Tuesday off and chastising me for coming in when I wasn't feeling up to it.
So I head home, and when I get home I get a phone call from reception at my apartment complex, asking me to come down to reception tomorrow (Tuesday) morning at nine o'clock. They were constantly repeating that I wasn't in trouble (which made me nervous), and suggested we could get coffee (which made me very nervous — previously all contact had been strictly formal). However, since I had the day off I agreed, and proceeded to get about three hours of sleep, narrowly dodging a panic attack after a fleeting hallucination.
Anyway, come nine o'clock I go down to reception and I go have coffee with one of the ... receptors? I have no idea what the word is for 'someone who works in reception'. Receptionist! That was silly of me: I swear I'm a native speaker. Anyway, it turns out they wanted to see me because my new flatmate had been complaining and demanded to have a different room, and was told that he'd have to break his lease, he's not going to get a free move. He did so, and I'll be getting a new flatmate — I'd met him once and was polite, cordial and even friendly the entire time, so I didn't give a Tinker's cuss for him or his opinion of me.
Anyway! The receptionist had figured out that I was trans (not that I was hiding it: the boobs, women's clothes and the e-mails ID'd from 'Natasha' were probably enough clues), and was insistent that I would get to meet my new flatmates beforehand to make sure we get along, and that as per my preference I'd get women flatmates! So it was a very happy ending, especially given how anxious I was.
Yesterday (Wednesday) I was still having difficulty concentrating, and so went for a walk by the lake: sooooo many turtles! It was fantastic watching them all. Still couldn't concentrate, but turtles! The only little bit of a dark cloud was that I came out to a close friend (this one from real life) about the potential eating disorder, and they were very, very not happy with me. But in the end they were supportive! Even if they compared me hurting at unable to be a 'real' woman (I know, internalised transphobia) to them not being able to be James Bond >.>
And today, I have a meeting with a legal professional concerning legal change of name, and re: potential eating disorder, I ate this morning ^_^ And next week I have my psychologist and psychiatrist, and should be able to get my official name changed with my University (unrelated to my legal name change, they only need a doctor's note after being yelled at for refusing me last time).
The only downside is that I'll have to tell my parents at some point and I do not expect them to be supportive at all. But on the other hand, for today I made a salad of mesclun lettuce leaves, alfalfa sprouts, mung bean sprouts, with some Basmati rice & peas cooked in brown mustard seed and some thin slices of marinated kangaroo (it's a small serving size, not a massive meal ... I'm not switching from barely eating to binge/purging).
I am the way into the doleful city. I am the way into eternal grief. I am the way to a forsaken race ... You who enter here, abandon all hope.