I identify as both genderfluid and genderqueer, as well as pangender and agender, and here's what all those terms mean to me:
- Agender: I don't especially feel like gender is "a thing" to me; like, I see that society genders things and hear that other people strongly care about how they are gendered by society, but it doesn't especially matter to me what conceptual gender-boxes other people map me into or not. I don't care what pronouns people use for me or if they think of me as manly or womanly or anything like that.
- Pangender: It's hard for me to tease apart how this differs from agender, but generally I identify with it because I do like being able to step into any gender-box, when that box suits me, it's only the stuck-ness I'd object to. I don't especially care how I'm gendered, but I don't (always) want to be genderless.
It's like...if genders were tastes in music, for analogy, then I'm agender in that if you asked me what kind of music I would like to be stuck listening to forever, I'd shrug and say whatever doesn't matter though being stuck with only one forever and unable to turn it off kinda sucks; but then I'm pangender in that if given the free choice to listen to whatever I like whenever I like, while a lot of the time I'd just have peace and quiet, I would listen to a wide variety of different music when I do happen to feel like listening to it. As opposed to someone who's, say, all country all the time; yeah I mean country's okay and if I have to listen to some music I wouldn't especially prefer something else, but I don't need there to be music at all, and when there is, you know, variety is nice.
- Genderfluid: It's also hard for me to tease this apart from pangender, but to use that music analogy again, at different times I feel like listening to different genres. I guess this is a narrower concept than pangender, because it doesn't strictly imply that I like all the music, just that I like at least a few different kinds, some more than others at different times. Which is true, even though I do like all the genres: at different times I feel like listening to one more than another, though it's a weak preference and not like I have to have my rap right now and don't you dare play country at me.
- Genderqueer: To continue with this music analogy, I like fusion genres. I like having breasts and I like having a penis, at the same time, and ideally if it weren't too much trouble I would like to have a vagina instead of testicles below my penis, and a more hairless, softer, generally feminine shape, but I still like being tall and strong which is generally considered masculine. I wear a mix of masculine and feminine clothes, and a mix of other masculine and feminine presentations (long hair but no makeup or jewelry), though modulo the genderfluidity the ratio of masc/fem changes with time and context. I have a mix of what are traditionally considered masculine and feminine personality traits and live a lifestyle that's a mix of what were traditionally considered masculine and feminine roles, though those both (personality and social role) seem like things where the gender lines have already melted so much so long ago, in my own perception and also in societal expectations, that I actually have to stop and think about where the gender lines even are/were on those matters, and unlike presentation or how I feel about my body, I don't normally even think about those things in the context of gender unless someone else brings them up.