[SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Ginger » Fri Jan 05, 2018 5:14 am UTC

Dr34m(4+(h3r wrote:Looks like I'm going to be a homeless person in Hawaii for the rest of my life.

I doubt it. Just have faith and your life shall get better. I know being homeless sucks sucks sucks sucks. Anyways if you wanna you can disregard my little bit of Christianity and I hope your life gets better. I hope you can find a way out of being homeless through faith, personal sacrifice, finding a job or whatever.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby chridd » Fri Jan 05, 2018 7:47 am UTC

CelticNot wrote:Dunno whether I should post this here or in the Woman Thread, but...

I know there's no evidence for developing periods when on female hormones, but I'll be damned if I haven't had an emotional low like clockwork every 4.5 weeks in the last six months. I almost wish I had the physical symptoms to go with it, because then it would catch me less off-guard each time.
Just came across this: https://www.reddit.com/r/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns/comments/7o0067/mtf_cis_girls_when_they_find_out_you_have_periods/ (see the comments). I think I've also seen someone bring up monthly cramps sometime earlier as well. So maybe it hasn't been rigorously scientifically studied, but there does seem to be anecdotal evidence for it at least.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Ginger » Fri Jan 05, 2018 7:50 am UTC

I um didn't think trans* girls could ever ever have periods? I didn't think that was like possible? I'll read the actual link and see the comments but the title is creeping me out.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby CelticNot » Fri Jan 05, 2018 3:58 pm UTC

Ginger wrote:I um didn't think trans* girls could ever ever have periods? I didn't think that was like possible? I'll read the actual link and see the comments but the title is creeping me out.


For the sake of clarification, we'll never bleed (and I haven't even had the surgery yet), but bleeding isn't the ONLY part of a period - only the most visible. Anything which is strictly hormonal (like mood swings) can still happen. Almost everything I've seen about it so far is strictly anecdotal, so it's debatable whether it's psychosomatic or actually happening, but the difference is academic when you're on the verge of tears for inexplicable reasons.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Ginger » Fri Jan 05, 2018 4:04 pm UTC

Ooh-Ooh I see. Well, hormones/estrogen made me cry a lot inexplicably so there's your mood swings for you. I wish I could have an actual period like a normal young woman though. It's so alienating to have entire biological functions pass me by that other girls can do: Having children and periods being two of them. I can only use the genetic materials I no longer even produce reliably to "impregnate a woman." And then those are HER CHILDREN that She Made to Term not mine. </3
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Dr34m(4+(h3r » Sun Jan 07, 2018 6:20 am UTC

Posting this here:

https://www.youcaring.com/jessicaevans-1061679

Would very much appreciate any help, including reposts to elsewhere.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Ginger » Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:21 am UTC

I donated $11.50. Hopefully that's a bit of Ginger charities for you. <3
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Azula to Long Feng wrote:Don't flatter yourself, you were never even a player.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Dr34m(4+(h3r » Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:30 am UTC

Ginger wrote:I donated $11.50. Hopefully that's a bit of Ginger charities for you. <3


<3

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Ginger » Sun Jan 07, 2018 9:03 pm UTC

Transgender woman rant: Last night I was on my little video game making outfits for my role play ladies and giving them back stories. I was on Moon Guard server. I went to flirt in a tavern and some guy was chatting me up. It was all good at first and then second came: "Yet you're a real girl aren't you? You're not just acting like one?" And I said I am a real woman no need to ID me officer. And when he got his feelings hurt I submit, apologized, said it was lovely chatting with him and excused myself to take a shower.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Mon Jan 08, 2018 2:25 pm UTC

Dr34m(4+(h3r wrote:Posting this here:

https://www.youcaring.com/jessicaevans-1061679

Would very much appreciate any help, including reposts to elsewhere.

I reposted it to my tumblr
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Dr34m(4+(h3r » Mon Jan 08, 2018 4:35 pm UTC

Monika wrote:
Dr34m(4+(h3r wrote:Posting this here:

https://www.youcaring.com/jessicaevans-1061679

Would very much appreciate any help, including reposts to elsewhere.

I reposted it to my tumblr


Thank you! :D

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Ginger » Mon Jan 15, 2018 1:39 am UTC

Homeless tranny women harassment: I went to a warming building for homeless men and women. They all slept in the same room so both men and women harassed me in the same night. Even a little kid.

Injustice one: Some guy strolled up to me and ordered me to respect his home because, "It's all I have." And my purse and clothes and handbag are the only possessions I have too dude.

Injustice two: Some guy smoking with me outside cigs of course was like, "Are you a female? I wasn't looking closely enough to tell." And when I got offended and made some remark about being lectured by an officer he got sheepish and backed off. Like you can't tell I have long hair, breasts, women's clothes and makeups on? C'mon.

Injustice three: It broke my heart. Some little girl said to me, "You look like a girl but talk like a boy!" And I tried to brush it off all shyly by hiding my face slightly and saying softly, "Yes I do yet even hormones can't change my voice now. Too late for that."
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Dr34m(4+(h3r » Tue Jan 23, 2018 12:56 am UTC

I checked both shelters in Waikiki which are known to me. One has no availabilities and the other is a woman’s only shelter that wants $400 a month and will probably kick me out as soon as they figure out I have a dick. If I had a month of leeway in which to find a job I could probably afford $400 a month, but I don’t, I have a week (prorated rent until the end of the month would be $130-something). And there’s always the possibility of failing to find the job in time. Anyway, I am probably going to check myself into the mental hospital, even though that doesn’t solve any of my problems (except getting me hormones for a month or two that I don’t have otherwise).

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Ginger » Tue Jan 23, 2018 1:01 am UTC

Ha-ha lol women's shelters. They, so abusive and wildly inappropriate re: bodies' parts. And good luck. I would suggest another alternative yet no one wanna hear it so? Anyways: If I ever have extra monies I can send you some more if you wanna? I am not trying to be intimidating. Anyways talk to you later love hearing about your life and feelings and jobs woes. <3
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Dr34m(4+(h3r » Sat Jan 27, 2018 3:15 am UTC

I'm in a shelter now. So in theory that resolves some of my problems. I will give life another try.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Pfhorrest » Sat Jan 27, 2018 3:27 am UTC

Glad you’v got a roof back over your head and it feels like there’s a little hope again :)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Ginger » Sat Jan 27, 2018 7:44 am UTC

Dr34m(4+(h3r wrote:I'm in a shelter now. So in theory that resolves some of my problems. I will give life another try.

Yay for you! Good lucks and I hopes the shelter you in treat you right. <3 :D
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Quercus » Tue Jan 30, 2018 10:21 am UTC

Dr34m(4+(h3r wrote:I'm in a shelter now. So in theory that resolves some of my problems. I will give life another try.

Glad you found a shelter. Good luck with everything!

On a very much more minor note here are two recent femme grooming discoveries which make me happy: the key to using bobby pins is to twist your hair before pinning and a straight razor* makes a kickass eyebrow shaping tool (I love it when I find femme-y uses for a typically masc grooming tool).

*one of the ones that takes standard razor blades snapped in half - I'm not one of the stropping and honing crowd.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Ginger » Tue Jan 30, 2018 12:06 pm UTC

Whiny crying about others of my type, my mental health commit hearing, RPGs happy thoughts.

Spoiler:
I can never meet other TG girls... it's like, there are none, in my town or whatever? And... I don't wanna meet eleven billion of them just one to be a peer friend you know? I wouldn't even mind dating a pretty pretty TG girl, whether she had her surgeries, breasts or feminine hormones or not. And... I was receiving more estrogen for about a day. And someone looked up, 'women in menopause going through estrogen withdrawl,' on the fam comp. Which: Was like my trial? They say I crave estrogen, I have estrogen withdrawal.. didn't know that be a thing? And: I finally find a good, awesome, supportive groups of friends HERE AND on a chat room? I am playing a really satisfying RPG with these friends, texts only, though everyone can choose profiles and pics and color their texts... it's really funny and fun like wow? Better than my li'l game by far, far.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby flicky1991 » Fri Feb 23, 2018 9:03 pm UTC

Is it weird that I tend to feel more strongly one gender (out of male or female) after being called the opposite repeatedly for a while? It happens in both directions. So if I've only been called "he" for a while then I really appreciate a "she", but the same happens the other way around too.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Zohar » Fri Feb 23, 2018 9:13 pm UTC

Meh? Probably a bit unusual when considering cishet population but I've known people who felt pretty fluid with their gender. It's a social construct after all so I'm not surprised your social experience impacts it. Does it bother you?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby flicky1991 » Fri Feb 23, 2018 9:16 pm UTC

Not sure. It's rare for me to actually be against one or the other being used, but it occasionally happens. I normally say when the topic of pronouns comes up that I'm fine with any, so it feels wrong to tell people to stop using the one they're using right now, especially if they were following my lead in the first place.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Quercus » Fri Feb 23, 2018 9:23 pm UTC

It's not exactly the same for me, but I get something similar - if I have to act cis male for a period of time (yay not being out to my family!) I'll start feeling more femme, and if I'm presenting more femme for a while I'll eventually feel like I want to present more neutrally again (which gets read as male on me). I guess ultimately I'd prefer not to have my ways of being gendered by society at all but that's not really an option, so going more one way tends to eventually push me in the opposite direction.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Sungura » Fri Mar 02, 2018 4:12 am UTC

I will always always always be gendered female because of my breasts.
I *like* my breasts. So they will stay.
...I wish people didn't gender so much by such things. I have never felt "fully female" but *definitely* not male. So, I tend to swing back and forth similarly but with less a pendulum... One day I love wearing my corsets and outfits, the next I just want to wear outdoor clothing. I *hate* being called a "tomboy" though, I am not a tom, and I am not a boy. Luckily being older now that term is rarer to hear. I vacillate between wanting to be gender neutral and female. Weekends are spent in outdoor clothing, so it seems to balance out for me. Fighting to use gender neutral pronouns would be way too difficult and cause way to much anxiety to be worth it, but I did finally get a new name last year.

I do like my new name, because it is way less gendered, which is a big part of why I wanted a new name. I am actually surprised at how well most people took to honestly trying to use it. I need to learn how to stand up for being called my appropriate name though better, because there are still those who don't even try...any tips welcome, I dislike attention in social situations so bringing attention to something about me is...difficult.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby PAstrychef » Fri Mar 02, 2018 4:45 am UTC

Tell them what you want to be called and then ignore them if they use the wrong name. If they keep using the wrong name, keep ignoring them.
If they are elderly or seldom seen family members you like, cut them as much slack as you find fitting.
Anyone who can’t be bothered to use the name you want probably isn’t really a friend you want. If it’s a matter of an official document giving one name, and it being read from that document, then just saying “I go by (new name)” should be sufficient.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Sungura » Fri Mar 02, 2018 10:23 pm UTC

I did that to my SO's parents, because they *didn't even try*. That is indeed what I do (just dont respond) when it is rude folks.
My friends have all switched at this point with just the odd slip-up.

The thing I struggle with is the people who actually are trying, but just keep forgetting. And, this group, it is a situation where I often cannot just ignore their reason to address me, (medical service stuff, things are time sensitive, and like, need to maintain professionalism too in front of patients), which is what makes it tricky. And in the offhand, they'll get it right, when there is not the time pressure or such upon us, so I see it more as their mind defaulting to programming. But....it has been almost a year...I feel like at the same time they should be a little further along with their reprograming of my name?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby CelticNot » Mon Mar 05, 2018 4:50 pm UTC

Personally, I gave a bit of leniency to a few of my co-workers who worked with me day in and day out for over a decade before I switched - particularly one lady who's nearing retirement and has a somewhat flaky memory.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Sungura » Tue Mar 06, 2018 1:40 am UTC

Yes. Its thebalance of “its been a year” with trying to not be an arse about it. :?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby CelticNot » Tue Mar 06, 2018 4:50 pm UTC

Ah, thank you. XD
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby ivnja » Thu Mar 15, 2018 3:23 pm UTC

I got "Sir"ed today in the drive through (the ordering intercom part). Then when I pulled up and the window opened, I was told that the pickup that had been in front of me had paid for my bagel. Went from pretty deflated to feeling fuzzy inside. It almost immediately occurred to me, though, to wonder if it was actually the pickup driver or if the young woman at the window, who also had the headset to take the orders, had seen ponytail, earrings, face, etc. when I pulled up and had done it herself by way of apology, just had said the previous driver had paid to avoid an awkward explanation.

This is stupid, because it was a kind gesture by whoever it was and whyever they did it (I don't fault the employee for the original misgendering - my voice sounds pretty masculine), but I'm irrationally bothered by the not knowing.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby faubi » Tue Apr 03, 2018 5:29 am UTC

Just came out to my brother as trans. It did not go well at all.

He angrily yelled at me and verbally attacked me and denied everything about me. Accused me of being mentally ill or mislead by Satan and demanded I never corrupt the innocent mind of my other brother and that it was my fault for ruining our perfect family and ive singlehandedly destroyed everything.

Very likely going to have to cut ties with family :cry:

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Zohar » Tue Apr 03, 2018 2:24 pm UTC

I'm really sorry to hear that. That's a shitty response. It may change in the future, but it's not your job to help them change their minds. I will say you don't necessarily have to cut ties with your entire family - you can, but if some of them are acting like decent human beings, you can still be in touch with them and not with your brother, for instance.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Deva » Tue Apr 03, 2018 3:35 pm UTC

Condolences. Must have been frightening to withstand. Deserves better.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Thu Apr 19, 2018 4:54 pm UTC

faubi wrote:Just came out to my brother as trans. It did not go well at all.

He angrily yelled at me and verbally attacked me and denied everything about me. Accused me of being mentally ill or mislead by Satan and demanded I never corrupt the innocent mind of my other brother and that it was my fault for ruining our perfect family and ive singlehandedly destroyed everything.

Very likely going to have to cut ties with family :cry:

That's very shitty of him :-( *hugs*
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