[SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

Moderators: Moderators General, Prelates, Magistrates

User avatar
Dr34m(4+(h3r
Posts: 209
Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2014 4:34 am UTC

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Dr34m(4+(h3r » Sat Nov 05, 2016 9:38 pm UTC

I'm homeless and have money but nobody will rent to me because I'm transgender and mentally ill. I've been looking for a place to live for almost a month now.

User avatar
Quercus
Posts: 1688
Joined: Thu Sep 19, 2013 12:22 pm UTC
Location: London, UK
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Quercus » Sun Nov 06, 2016 9:44 am UTC

Oh, that really sucks. Lots of *hugs* if you want them. If you ever want someone to talk to feel free to PM me - I'm genderqueer and have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, so solidarity.

User avatar
Dr34m(4+(h3r
Posts: 209
Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2014 4:34 am UTC

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Dr34m(4+(h3r » Mon Nov 07, 2016 8:05 pm UTC

I would like a place to live

User avatar
Dr34m(4+(h3r
Posts: 209
Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2014 4:34 am UTC

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Dr34m(4+(h3r » Sat Nov 12, 2016 10:51 pm UTC

I'm leaving the country.

User avatar
ivnja
The spirit of things can bugger right off.
Posts: 814
Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 5:30 am UTC
Location: 19T526268 4971339 (NAD 83)

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby ivnja » Fri Nov 18, 2016 5:47 am UTC

Hi all. I guess I belong here now. After over three years of agonizing over things (and with the greatly appreciated advice of several forumites who post regularly in this thread, though they may not realize it because I was posting under a different username (although it'd probably also not be particularly difficult to figure it out)), I finally began seeing a gender therapist at the beginning of this summer. And...if all goes well with genetic material banking tomorrow (as in, it only requires the one, or possibly two trips down to Cambridge to the clinic), I'll be starting hormones sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Impeccable timing, right? Just in time for all of us in the States to see how hard the Republican party wants to push their social agenda. But despite that concern, and some general anxiety about pushing into the unknown, I feel like I'm ready to move forward. Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead! Or half speed. I think Farragut was a little nuts, even if he did win the battle.

It also does feel a little odd to come out to a forum on which I'm not 100% anonymous before doing the same in real life (the people that need to know now do, but I'm going to wait until I'm farther along for a general coming out), but as far as I know there's only one active poster on here that I know in person, and I don't think he probably reads this thread. [That said, though, just in case...Hey Glenn! Surprise! So far, Sam knows, as does Katie, although Nate doesn't unless she's shared.]

So anyway, that's me. I'm happy this little club is here.
Hi you.
she/her

User avatar
Zohar
COMMANDER PORN
Posts: 8026
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2007 8:45 pm UTC
Location: Denver

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Zohar » Fri Nov 18, 2016 1:43 pm UTC

Congrats on your realizations! Welcome!
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

User avatar
poxic
Eloquently Prismatic
Posts: 4690
Joined: Sat Jun 07, 2008 3:28 am UTC
Location: Left coast of Canada

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Sat Nov 19, 2016 12:19 am UTC

Welcome to the alphabet side of life! It's colourful here.

And everywhere else, of course. But still.
TEAM SHIVAHN
Pretty much the best team ever

And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
- Anais Nin, writer (21 Feb 1903-1977)

User avatar
ivnja
The spirit of things can bugger right off.
Posts: 814
Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 5:30 am UTC
Location: 19T526268 4971339 (NAD 83)

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby ivnja » Sun Nov 20, 2016 6:18 pm UTC

Thank you :D

The cryogenic clinic managed to make 8 vials ( = 8 fertilization attempts) out of my deposit, which should be enough to safely make one mini-me. So now the question is whether to go down again before starting on HRT. I'll be giving the NP at the family planning clinic doing the hormones a call tomorrow to see what others that have gone through their practice have typically done. Anyone in here who's been through this have any thoughts? I'm not sure that I necessarily even want kids, but given that I've now already put over $1000 into this (initial deposit costs plus first year storage cost), and the storage cost is a flat fee and not dependent on the number of vials, it's probably worth the ~$250 (and the Cambridge traffic, which is dumb...although this time at least I'll know that I can in fact take the Tobin bridge across the river without a FastPass thingy, even though the signs all say "no cash") for a second deposit, just to be safe.

I also saw my dad's new house, met my dad's new* wife, and came out to my sister this weekend, so it's been a pretty busy few days.

* For a fairly loose usage of "new" - it's been more than a few years at this point. Because of circumstances surrounding the whole thing, I'd spent most of the last almost-decade quite disinterested in ever meeting her. She was pleasant, though.

Edit to add an unrelated question: is there a reason why this thread wouldn't be showing up in my egosearch?
Hi you.
she/her

User avatar
Deva
Has suggestions for the murderers out there.
Posts: 1994
Joined: Sat Feb 26, 2011 5:18 am UTC

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Deva » Sun Nov 20, 2016 6:31 pm UTC

ivnja wrote:Edit to add an unrelated question: is there a reason why this thread wouldn't be showing up in my egosearch?

Stems from the forum migration. Updates search results (including egosearch) slower. Appears eventually.

Edit notes: 1. Lights up with new posts immediately, however. Do not worry about that.
2. Temporarily locks threads to their page on egosearch. Keeps updated threads on page two of egosearch on that page. Corrects itself eventually.
Changes its form depending on the observer.

User avatar
Monika
Welcoming Aarvark
Posts: 3660
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:03 am UTC
Location: Germany, near Heidelberg
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Mon Nov 21, 2016 11:41 am UTC

Welcome here, ivnja!
#xkcd-q on irc.foonetic.net - the LGBTIQQA support channel
Please donate to help these people

User avatar
ivnja
The spirit of things can bugger right off.
Posts: 814
Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 5:30 am UTC
Location: 19T526268 4971339 (NAD 83)

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby ivnja » Tue Dec 27, 2016 9:39 am UTC

I started hormones (estradiol valerate) last Wednesday. The solstice seemed like a particularly appropriate time. So that's a yay. The weekly stabbing myself in the stomach part is somewhat less yay, but it's supposed to be the most effective way, so I can deal. The slightly concerning and much less yay part is the hamstring cramping that started a day or two later. That may be a side effect from the spiro (currently 1x50mg pill per day, increasing to 2x50mg pill per day this coming Wednesday), but I drink a couple liters of water a day so I don't think it's dehydration due to the diuretic effects (I'm also not really seeing that much of an increase in frequency of urination), and it's not an effect you'd expect to see from the potassium-sparing aspect of it - spiro generally would cause K levels to be too high, while muscle cramping occurs when K levels are too low. I also haven't deliberately changed my potassium intake - I've never been a banana a day person, more like maybe one a week, and since that's the only thing I've purposely avoided so far, this hasn't been an unusual diet week for me. So now that the holiday stuff is all over, I'll put a call in to my NP tomorrow to see what she thinks about all that.
Hi you.
she/her

User avatar
Carlington
Posts: 1588
Joined: Sun Mar 22, 2009 8:46 am UTC
Location: Sydney, Australia.

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Carlington » Tue Dec 27, 2016 12:00 pm UTC

Small rant about queer spaces below spoiler (spoilered because references to abuse/manipulation):

Spoiler:
So like, queer spaces are kinda insular by nature, right, and everyone tends to know everyone. This is often a really good feature, it can make socialising way easier when you can meet a new person and say "Oh okay, we have mutual friends X, Y, Z" and immediately have an idea of what things you'll have in common based off of that.
Sometimes, though, it really sucks. Especially when, for example, you know people who have been abusive and otherwise terrible to you and those you care about, and you know that those people now walk in the same circles as you and have complete acceptance among queer communities to the point that people would not believe you and/or take their side if you raised the things they've done in the past to explain why you don't feel safe around them. I mean, I think it's sufficiently obvious I'm referring to a specific person at this point. And I mean, sure, she's a better person now by all accounts. She's also committed emotionally and sexually abusive acts, which makes it just super hard to trust her because abusers and manipulators are always great people unless you're the one being abused or manipulated. So I think it's totally valid to feel unsafe and not want to exist in the same spaces, but that means needing to try and sneakily vet any new friends you make in certain spaces to try and make sure they won't bring you into contact with people you don't want to hear of again.

I got rambly, but does anyone here feel?
Kewangji: Posdy zwei tosdy osdy oady. Bork bork bork, hoppity syphilis bork.

Eebster the Great: What specifically is moving faster than light in these examples?
doogly: Hands waving furiously.

Please use he/him/his pronouns when referring to me.

User avatar
Zohar
COMMANDER PORN
Posts: 8026
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2007 8:45 pm UTC
Location: Denver

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Zohar » Tue Dec 27, 2016 2:14 pm UTC

Good luck ivnja, I hope the treatment gets better soon. Good thing you have an NP to consult with.

Carlington:
Spoiler:
I've had similar experiences. When I used to move around queer spaces in Israel there was a bit of that for me. Not with regards to abuse, luckily for me, but just "I have this impression of this person, and everyone else seems to have a totally different one". It can be frustrating. I don't know how many degrees of separation you "should" have between yourself and an abusive person, but it's good you're conscious of it.


Unrelated sad, spoilered for self-harm.
Spoiler:
Someone who I didn't know very well committed suicide a few days ago in Israel. She was a trans activist in Israel, and I ran into her a few times, mostly when she still identified as a man but also at later times. A lot of my friends knew her and are (rightfully of course) sad.
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

User avatar
Monika
Welcoming Aarvark
Posts: 3660
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 8:03 am UTC
Location: Germany, near Heidelberg
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Fri Dec 30, 2016 2:44 pm UTC

@ivnja: Yay for hormones! Hopefully the doc will fix the cramping somehow.

@Carlington: That sucks a lot :(

@Zohar: My condolences :(
#xkcd-q on irc.foonetic.net - the LGBTIQQA support channel
Please donate to help these people

User avatar
liberonscien
-ce
Posts: 121
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 7:04 pm UTC
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby liberonscien » Mon Feb 06, 2017 8:50 am UTC

I'm asexual, I think. I'm not sure. I've never had a chance to verify it.
Warning: This user is currently questioning its beliefs. This user offers its sincerest apologies if it accidentally offends another user. This user never offends others on purpose and may accidentally offend other users because it lacks knowledge regarding how to be a normal human.

User avatar
Zohar
COMMANDER PORN
Posts: 8026
Joined: Fri Apr 27, 2007 8:45 pm UTC
Location: Denver

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Zohar » Mon Feb 06, 2017 1:56 pm UTC

liberonscien wrote:I'm asexual, I think. I'm not sure. I've never had a chance to verify it.

You're welcome to seek out sex and see how it makes you feel, but you really don't have to in order to verify it. Like, I knew I was gay about a decade before I had sex with anyone.

I'm not saying you should feel 100% even without experience, I'm saying you might feel certain of it even without it.

Also, asexuality is part of the wider spectrum of human sexuality, and is not a binary position - there's different degrees of it, and it also doesn't contradict having romantic feelings. It's a pretty wide definition, and you shouldn't feel like you need to fit a specific criteria to call yourself "asexual".

If you're interested, there are plenty of online resources you could use to learn more, some probably also linked in this thread.
Mighty Jalapeno: "See, Zohar agrees, and he's nice to people."
SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

Not how I say my name

User avatar
Liri
Healthy non-floating pooper reporting for doodie.
Posts: 1107
Joined: Wed Oct 15, 2014 8:11 pm UTC
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Liri » Mon Feb 06, 2017 2:02 pm UTC

This is a cheesy comparison, but it's like what you eat. Let's say you want to call yourself vegetarian, but you can't say no to some fine gyros - the vegetarian police aren't gonna come knocking on your door. If you're down with a label, feel free to use one, but don't think you're chained to it.
There's a certain amount of freedom involved in cycling: you're self-propelled and decide exactly where to go. If you see something that catches your eye to the left, you can veer off there, which isn't so easy in a car, and you can't cover as much ground walking.

User avatar
liberonscien
-ce
Posts: 121
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 7:04 pm UTC
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby liberonscien » Mon Feb 06, 2017 2:10 pm UTC

Zohar wrote:
liberonscien wrote:I'm asexual, I think. I'm not sure. I've never had a chance to verify it.

You're welcome to seek out sex and see how it makes you feel, but you really don't have to in order to verify it. Like, I knew I was gay about a decade before I had sex with anyone.

I'm not saying you should feel 100% even without experience, I'm saying you might feel certain of it even without it.

Also, asexuality is part of the wider spectrum of human sexuality, and is not a binary position - there's different degrees of it, and it also doesn't contradict having romantic feelings. It's a pretty wide definition, and you shouldn't feel like you need to fit a specific criteria to call yourself "asexual".

If you're interested, there are plenty of online resources you could use to learn more, some probably also linked in this thread.

I know. Not having romantic feelings makes one aromantic, not asexual.
I don't know why, but I sometimes feel like some of this stuff is Tumblresque nonsense.
Liri wrote:This is a cheesy comparison, but it's like what you eat. Let's say you want to call yourself vegetarian, but you can't say no to some fine gyros - the vegetarian police aren't gonna come knocking on your door. If you're down with a label, feel free to use one, but don't think you're chained to it.

I suppose that is accurate.
Warning: This user is currently questioning its beliefs. This user offers its sincerest apologies if it accidentally offends another user. This user never offends others on purpose and may accidentally offend other users because it lacks knowledge regarding how to be a normal human.

User avatar
Liri
Healthy non-floating pooper reporting for doodie.
Posts: 1107
Joined: Wed Oct 15, 2014 8:11 pm UTC
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Liri » Mon Feb 06, 2017 2:12 pm UTC

Hey, see that [Safespace] tag? Yeah. I'm gonna echo what F_T said to you in the likewise-safe women's thread.

Edit: wrt to the "nonsense"
There's a certain amount of freedom involved in cycling: you're self-propelled and decide exactly where to go. If you see something that catches your eye to the left, you can veer off there, which isn't so easy in a car, and you can't cover as much ground walking.

User avatar
poxic
Eloquently Prismatic
Posts: 4690
Joined: Sat Jun 07, 2008 3:28 am UTC
Location: Left coast of Canada

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Mon Feb 06, 2017 4:06 pm UTC

I'm asexual and occasionally post about it (here and other places). AVEN is a decent resource (www.asexuality.org). They have a "Meetup Mart" where folks from different cities post about where the group is going for coffee or whatnot.
TEAM SHIVAHN
Pretty much the best team ever

And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
- Anais Nin, writer (21 Feb 1903-1977)

User avatar
liberonscien
-ce
Posts: 121
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 7:04 pm UTC
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby liberonscien » Mon Feb 06, 2017 5:15 pm UTC

Liri wrote:Hey, see that [Safespace] tag? Yeah. I'm gonna echo what F_T said to you in the likewise-safe women's thread.

Edit: wrt to the "nonsense"

Spoiler:
Oh, I've apparently not been clear. I'm wondering if I'm understanding this stuff correctly or if I'm getting bad information from Tumblr. I mean, I hear about stuff like sapiosexual on Tumblr and I am not sure if stuff like that is a real thing or Tumblr nonsense like "frost gender" and "otherkin". I've heard of sapiosexual before but whenever I look it up I get Tumblr stuff. I'm pretty sure frost gender isn't a real thing. I'm almost absolutely certain otherkin isn't a real thing either.

poxic wrote:I'm asexual and occasionally post about it (here and other places). AVEN is a decent resource (http://www.asexuality.org). They have a "Meetup Mart" where folks from different cities post about where the group is going for coffee or whatnot.

Spoiler:
Oh, an actual website that doesn't have a reputation for being extremely strange like Tumblr.
Alright, something real.

More clarification: I have nothing but support for the LGBTIQQA community and I'm just wondering if some of the stuff I hear about it is an actual part of it or not.

If I have inadvertently been unclear in the above post, let me know and I'll do my best to clarify.
If people want me to stop posting here, I will.
Warning: This user is currently questioning its beliefs. This user offers its sincerest apologies if it accidentally offends another user. This user never offends others on purpose and may accidentally offend other users because it lacks knowledge regarding how to be a normal human.

User avatar
poxic
Eloquently Prismatic
Posts: 4690
Joined: Sat Jun 07, 2008 3:28 am UTC
Location: Left coast of Canada

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Mon Feb 06, 2017 5:35 pm UTC

Gender can be a strange issue. I'd describe myself as non-gendered, except that sometimes I do feel like a woman and occasionally like a man. And sometimes I can't even gender because what is that.

There is correlation between asexuality, a-gender, and autism spectrum. I don't know whether there is any science that tells us why (yet).
TEAM SHIVAHN
Pretty much the best team ever

And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
- Anais Nin, writer (21 Feb 1903-1977)

User avatar
doogly
Dr. The Juggernaut of Touching Himself
Posts: 5385
Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2006 2:31 am UTC
Location: Somerville, MA
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby doogly » Mon Feb 06, 2017 5:54 pm UTC

I don't think it is fruitful to inquire whether something you see on tumblr is "real." The relevant issue is whether someone is sincere. If they are sincere, there's really no validating for you to do.

(To clarify: I don't mean that if someone is sincere, it doesn't matter if what they're talking about is "real." I mean that "real" is not a useful concept and you should use "sincere" instead.)
LE4dGOLEM: What's a Doug?
Noc: A larval Doogly. They grow the tail and stinger upon reaching adulthood.

Keep waggling your butt brows Brothers.
Or; Is that your eye butthairs?

User avatar
liberonscien
-ce
Posts: 121
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 7:04 pm UTC
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby liberonscien » Mon Feb 06, 2017 6:01 pm UTC

poxic wrote:Gender can be a strange issue. I'd describe myself as non-gendered, except that sometimes I do feel like a woman and occasionally like a man. And sometimes I can't even gender because what is that.

There is correlation between asexuality, a-gender, and autism spectrum. I don't know whether there is any science that tells us why (yet).

Interesting. I have Asperger's syndrome and ADD.
I am pretty sure I'm agender. My definition of agender is not thinking of one's self as anything. I think of myself as a person. I use "male" pronouns because I was designated male at birth, I grew up using male pronouns and am somewhat resistant to change, even neutral change. I am fairly certain that if I had been raised using "female" pronouns I wouldn't be much different.
I think I'm asexual. I'm interested in intercourse, but I'm not interested in actually engaging in it.
Warning: This user is currently questioning its beliefs. This user offers its sincerest apologies if it accidentally offends another user. This user never offends others on purpose and may accidentally offend other users because it lacks knowledge regarding how to be a normal human.

User avatar
poxic
Eloquently Prismatic
Posts: 4690
Joined: Sat Jun 07, 2008 3:28 am UTC
Location: Left coast of Canada

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Mon Feb 06, 2017 6:18 pm UTC

Asexuality is defined as a lack of sexual attraction, more or less. As in, I'm not heterosexual because I'm not turned on by the opposite sex. I'm not homosexual because I'm not turned on by the same sex. (Also not turned on by any of the other things that some people are - cars, dogs, velociraptors...)

I might be hetero-romantic - I'm kinda interested in a close, snuggly relationship with the opposite sex. I actually had a dream last night that I'd reconnected with a former boyfriend and everything was all great, but I was still kinda grossed out by kissing. Even in the dream. (I gather that sexual attraction is the thing that makes swapping spit an appealing activity.)
TEAM SHIVAHN
Pretty much the best team ever

And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
- Anais Nin, writer (21 Feb 1903-1977)

User avatar
liberonscien
-ce
Posts: 121
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 7:04 pm UTC
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby liberonscien » Mon Feb 06, 2017 6:44 pm UTC

doogly wrote:I don't think it is fruitful to inquire whether something you see on tumblr is "real." The relevant issue is whether someone is sincere. If they are sincere, there's really no validating for you to do.

(To clarify: I don't mean that if someone is sincere, it doesn't matter if what they're talking about is "real." I mean that "real" is not a useful concept and you should use "sincere" instead.)

I see.
I'm not sure I agree because I believe any claim1 that has serious ramifications must be have something proving before it is to be accepted as being real2.

1 The claims about transgender people and homosexuals and asexuals has some proof: I've seen studies that show that transgender people's brains resemble the gender they perceive themselves as being. I've seen studies that show that homosexuals and bisexuals have a genuine attraction to that which they claim to be attracted to. I've seen studies that show that some people who identify as asexual often have a low sex drive.

2 If someone appears to sincerely believe that they are LGBTIQQA then I'm all for getting them the support they deserve as a human being.

Note: If I appear to be behaving in a very clinical manner about this, then it is because I don't know of any other way to behave. My attempts at being more natural and less robotic have seem to always come across as being very forced. My apologies if I have inadvertently offended anyone.
Warning: This user is currently questioning its beliefs. This user offers its sincerest apologies if it accidentally offends another user. This user never offends others on purpose and may accidentally offend other users because it lacks knowledge regarding how to be a normal human.

User avatar
Angua
Don't call her Delphine.
Posts: 5739
Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2008 12:42 pm UTC
Location: UK/[St. Kitts and] Nevis Occasionally, I migrate to the US for a bit

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Angua » Mon Feb 06, 2017 6:48 pm UTC

Let's not get into the quagmire of what is 'real' when talking about people's experiences in a safespace thread.
Crabtree's bludgeon: “no set of mutually inconsistent observations can exist for which some human intellect cannot conceive a coherent explanation, however complicated”
GNU Terry Pratchett

User avatar
liberonscien
-ce
Posts: 121
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 7:04 pm UTC
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby liberonscien » Mon Feb 06, 2017 6:57 pm UTC

Angua wrote:Let's not get into the quagmire of what is 'real' when talking about people's experiences in a safespace thread.

Indeed. Let's instead focus on being supportive.
Warning: This user is currently questioning its beliefs. This user offers its sincerest apologies if it accidentally offends another user. This user never offends others on purpose and may accidentally offend other users because it lacks knowledge regarding how to be a normal human.

User avatar
SecondTalon
SexyTalon
Posts: 25971
Joined: Sat May 05, 2007 2:10 pm UTC
Location: Louisville, Kentucky, USA, Mars. HA!
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby SecondTalon » Mon Feb 06, 2017 8:54 pm UTC

liberonscien wrote:
Liri wrote:Hey, see that [Safespace] tag? Yeah. I'm gonna echo what F_T said to you in the likewise-safe women's thread.

Edit: wrt to the "nonsense"

Spoiler:
Oh, I've apparently not been clear. I'm wondering if I'm understanding this stuff correctly or if I'm getting bad information from Tumblr. I mean, I hear about stuff like sapiosexual on Tumblr and I am not sure if stuff like that is a real thing or Tumblr nonsense like "frost gender" and "otherkin". I've heard of sapiosexual before but whenever I look it up I get Tumblr stuff. I'm pretty sure frost gender isn't a real thing. I'm almost absolutely certain otherkin isn't a real thing either.

poxic wrote:I'm asexual and occasionally post about it (here and other places). AVEN is a decent resource (http://www.asexuality.org). They have a "Meetup Mart" where folks from different cities post about where the group is going for coffee or whatnot.

Spoiler:
Oh, an actual website that doesn't have a reputation for being extremely strange like Tumblr.
Alright, something real.

More clarification: I have nothing but support for the LGBTIQQA community and I'm just wondering if some of the stuff I hear about it is an actual part of it or not.

If I have inadvertently been unclear in the above post, let me know and I'll do my best to clarify.
If people want me to stop posting here, I will.


On a phone so I'll give you a longer rundown later, but the short version is - In a safespace thread, don't shit on someone's parade.

No one's saying to not post here. They are saying to not put people down while you're doing it
heuristically_alone wrote:I want to write a DnD campaign and play it by myself and DM it myself.
heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

User avatar
Pfhorrest
Posts: 4545
Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2009 6:11 am UTC
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Pfhorrest » Mon Feb 06, 2017 9:49 pm UTC

I have a question and/or an idea. Is there a thread somewhere on this forum that is not a safe space where it would be appropriate to (still respectfully but not safe-space level) discuss the theory (science, philosophy, etc) of gender, orientation, etc; and might it be a good idea (if possible somehow) to link to such a place in an obvious place from here so as to redirect conversation about that there and away from here?
Forrest Cameranesi, Geek of All Trades
"I am Sam. Sam I am. I do not like trolls, flames, or spam."
The Codex Quaerendae (my philosophy) - The Chronicles of Quelouva (my fiction)

User avatar
SecondTalon
SexyTalon
Posts: 25971
Joined: Sat May 05, 2007 2:10 pm UTC
Location: Louisville, Kentucky, USA, Mars. HA!
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby SecondTalon » Mon Feb 06, 2017 10:10 pm UTC

There's no thread about it, but FaiD seems a decent enough place to do it.
heuristically_alone wrote:I want to write a DnD campaign and play it by myself and DM it myself.
heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

User avatar
Angua
Don't call her Delphine.
Posts: 5739
Joined: Tue Sep 16, 2008 12:42 pm UTC
Location: UK/[St. Kitts and] Nevis Occasionally, I migrate to the US for a bit

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Angua » Mon Feb 06, 2017 10:18 pm UTC

I seem to remember a gender thread in SB many years ago.

I don't think it would be that great to point to it from here though. It might not be great following a safespace thread to a non-safespace one if all you want is a safespace at the time?
Crabtree's bludgeon: “no set of mutually inconsistent observations can exist for which some human intellect cannot conceive a coherent explanation, however complicated”
GNU Terry Pratchett

User avatar
Pfhorrest
Posts: 4545
Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2009 6:11 am UTC
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Pfhorrest » Mon Feb 06, 2017 10:55 pm UTC

I was thinking more for the people who don't quite get the boundaries of a safespace, there might be a notice along the lines of "this is not the appropriate place to debate the theory underlying LGBTIQQA matters; if that's what you're looking for, please see this thread instead." I don't think such a thread necessarily has to degrade into anything hateful, and people could have a respectfully critical and analytic discussion about related things, in a manner that wouldn't be appropriate for a safe space (where such critique and analysis goes against the purpose) there, instead of here, and instead of just being shut down entirely.
Last edited by Pfhorrest on Mon Feb 06, 2017 11:02 pm UTC, edited 2 times in total.
Forrest Cameranesi, Geek of All Trades
"I am Sam. Sam I am. I do not like trolls, flames, or spam."
The Codex Quaerendae (my philosophy) - The Chronicles of Quelouva (my fiction)

User avatar
liberonscien
-ce
Posts: 121
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 7:04 pm UTC
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby liberonscien » Mon Feb 06, 2017 10:56 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:
liberonscien wrote:
Liri wrote:Hey, see that [Safespace] tag? Yeah. I'm gonna echo what F_T said to you in the likewise-safe women's thread.

Edit: wrt to the "nonsense"

Spoiler:
Oh, I've apparently not been clear. I'm wondering if I'm understanding this stuff correctly or if I'm getting bad information from Tumblr. I mean, I hear about stuff like sapiosexual on Tumblr and I am not sure if stuff like that is a real thing or Tumblr nonsense like "frost gender" and "otherkin". I've heard of sapiosexual before but whenever I look it up I get Tumblr stuff. I'm pretty sure frost gender isn't a real thing. I'm almost absolutely certain otherkin isn't a real thing either.

poxic wrote:I'm asexual and occasionally post about it (here and other places). AVEN is a decent resource (http://www.asexuality.org). They have a "Meetup Mart" where folks from different cities post about where the group is going for coffee or whatnot.

Spoiler:
Oh, an actual website that doesn't have a reputation for being extremely strange like Tumblr.
Alright, something real.

More clarification: I have nothing but support for the LGBTIQQA community and I'm just wondering if some of the stuff I hear about it is an actual part of it or not.

If I have inadvertently been unclear in the above post, let me know and I'll do my best to clarify.
If people want me to stop posting here, I will.


On a phone so I'll give you a longer rundown later, but the short version is - In a safespace thread, 1. don't shit on someone's parade.

2. No one's saying to not post here. 3. They are saying to not put people down while you're doing it

1. I'm trying to avoid doing that.
2. I know, I'm just trying to be cooperative.
3. Was I doing that? I am sincerely sorry if I was.
Warning: This user is currently questioning its beliefs. This user offers its sincerest apologies if it accidentally offends another user. This user never offends others on purpose and may accidentally offend other users because it lacks knowledge regarding how to be a normal human.

User avatar
liberonscien
-ce
Posts: 121
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2016 7:04 pm UTC
Contact:

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby liberonscien » Mon Feb 06, 2017 10:59 pm UTC

Pfhorrest wrote:I was thinking more for the people who don't quite get the boundaries of a safespace, there might be a notice along the lines of "this is not the appropriate place to debate the theory underlying LGBTQQA matters; if that's what you're looking for, please see this thread instead."

Oh, I didn't realize that. I'm in this thread to talk theory. If that's not what this thread is about then I have no reason to continue to post in this thread as of now.
Warning: This user is currently questioning its beliefs. This user offers its sincerest apologies if it accidentally offends another user. This user never offends others on purpose and may accidentally offend other users because it lacks knowledge regarding how to be a normal human.

User avatar
WilliamTheConqueror
Posts: 243
Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 10:16 pm UTC
Location: *tips meme*

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby WilliamTheConqueror » Tue Feb 07, 2017 1:05 am UTC

gender stuff is weird. i've been flitting back and forth lately from feeling Very Feminine (keep in mind that i'm AFAB) and very comfortable with the way my body looks (to an extent, anyways. i've always dealt with body image issues because i've almost always been overweight, but that's a different can of worms) to feeling Very Masculine and feeling all sorts of dysphoria. i think i'm agender, or genderfluid? i don't feel like i have a gender, per say, but my need for presentation shifts constantly. it's frustrating, especially since i've been considering transitioning off and on for the past 4 years.

speaking of transitioning, do any other NB people in this thread know of anyone who's taken testosterone for only a short-ish period of time and then stopped? because that's basically what i want to do. all of the permanent effects of T are... Really Appealing in terms of how i want to look and feel (deeper voice, facial/body hair, Certain Things Pertaining To Sexual Body Parts, ect.) but none of the effects that require consistent use seem like that big of a deal to me? like if i weren't to have them i'd be okay. i however, don't want to fly blind, so i've felt really anxious about it for a while.

thankfully, once our kid is conceived/born, my wife and i are going to transition roughly about the same time. she's starting as soon as we hit the second trimester so she can help breastfeed (which is SO COOL!!!!) and then as soon as Spawn is old enough to be weaned off of the tiddy i'm going to hopefully try and start my own transition. it'll be nice to have the added support, at least
addams wrote:Fucking Nature.

Tomlidich the second wrote:You cannot surgically graft enough middle fingers to my body to express how fed up I am with this.

User avatar
CelticNot
Posts: 108
Joined: Tue Jul 16, 2013 3:18 pm UTC
Location: A Little North of the Great Albertan Desert

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby CelticNot » Tue Feb 07, 2017 4:13 pm UTC

WilliamTheConqueror wrote:gender stuff is weird. i've been flitting back and forth lately from feeling Very Feminine (keep in mind that i'm AFAB) and very comfortable with the way my body looks (to an extent, anyways. i've always dealt with body image issues because i've almost always been overweight, but that's a different can of worms) to feeling Very Masculine and feeling all sorts of dysphoria. i think i'm agender, or genderfluid? i don't feel like i have a gender, per say, but my need for presentation shifts constantly. it's frustrating, especially since i've been considering transitioning off and on for the past 4 years.


If it's any consolation, my significant other is very similar, though he prefers male pronouns in general. Our official designation for him is "gendershrug", after the notion of giving a noncommittal shrug when someone asks you your gender.

Best of luck with your family and transition plans!
This sig for rent. Rates negotiable.

User avatar
e^iπ+1=0
Much, much better than Gooder
Posts: 2065
Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2009 9:41 am UTC
Location: Lancaster

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby e^iπ+1=0 » Tue Feb 07, 2017 11:56 pm UTC

poxic wrote:(Also not turned on by any of the other things that some people are - cars, dogs, velociraptors...)

So, this kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I don't know what to say about it since I get that you were being flippant and like three posts prior were talking about being non-gendered, but yeah. Like, I come across the whole "I identify as an attack helicopter lol gender identity is stupid" thing a fair amount, and I don't know how to feel about someone who doesn't actually mean it making the same joke.
poxic wrote:You, sir, have heroic hair.
poxic wrote:I note that the hair is not slowing down. It appears to have progressed from heroic to rocking.

(Avatar by Sungura)

User avatar
poxic
Eloquently Prismatic
Posts: 4690
Joined: Sat Jun 07, 2008 3:28 am UTC
Location: Left coast of Canada

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Wed Feb 08, 2017 12:27 am UTC

I know of people (not personally) who are sexually attracted to the three things I mentioned, which is why I used them as examples. It was a somewhat flippant comment, but intended to distinguish asexuals from people who are attracted to entities other than men or women. I apologise if it was too flippant for this space.
TEAM SHIVAHN
Pretty much the best team ever

And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
- Anais Nin, writer (21 Feb 1903-1977)

User avatar
e^iπ+1=0
Much, much better than Gooder
Posts: 2065
Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2009 9:41 am UTC
Location: Lancaster

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby e^iπ+1=0 » Wed Feb 08, 2017 1:40 am UTC

Oh, sorry, I parsed the sentence wrong. I read it as if you were saying that people identify as cars etc. and you're not attracted to those people, rather than that there are people who are turned on by cars, but you're not.

Yeah, never mind, that's fine. Sorry about that.
poxic wrote:You, sir, have heroic hair.
poxic wrote:I note that the hair is not slowing down. It appears to have progressed from heroic to rocking.

(Avatar by Sungura)


Return to “General”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 41 guests