[SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Mon Feb 06, 2017 6:18 pm UTC

Asexuality is defined as a lack of sexual attraction, more or less. As in, I'm not heterosexual because I'm not turned on by the opposite sex. I'm not homosexual because I'm not turned on by the same sex. (Also not turned on by any of the other things that some people are - cars, dogs, velociraptors...)

I might be hetero-romantic - I'm kinda interested in a close, snuggly relationship with the opposite sex. I actually had a dream last night that I'd reconnected with a former boyfriend and everything was all great, but I was still kinda grossed out by kissing. Even in the dream. (I gather that sexual attraction is the thing that makes swapping spit an appealing activity.)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby liberonscien » Mon Feb 06, 2017 6:44 pm UTC

doogly wrote:I don't think it is fruitful to inquire whether something you see on tumblr is "real." The relevant issue is whether someone is sincere. If they are sincere, there's really no validating for you to do.

(To clarify: I don't mean that if someone is sincere, it doesn't matter if what they're talking about is "real." I mean that "real" is not a useful concept and you should use "sincere" instead.)

I see.
I'm not sure I agree because I believe any claim1 that has serious ramifications must be have something proving before it is to be accepted as being real2.

1 The claims about transgender people and homosexuals and asexuals has some proof: I've seen studies that show that transgender people's brains resemble the gender they perceive themselves as being. I've seen studies that show that homosexuals and bisexuals have a genuine attraction to that which they claim to be attracted to. I've seen studies that show that some people who identify as asexual often have a low sex drive.

2 If someone appears to sincerely believe that they are LGBTIQQA then I'm all for getting them the support they deserve as a human being.

Note: If I appear to be behaving in a very clinical manner about this, then it is because I don't know of any other way to behave. My attempts at being more natural and less robotic have seem to always come across as being very forced. My apologies if I have inadvertently offended anyone.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Angua » Mon Feb 06, 2017 6:48 pm UTC

Let's not get into the quagmire of what is 'real' when talking about people's experiences in a safespace thread.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby liberonscien » Mon Feb 06, 2017 6:57 pm UTC

Angua wrote:Let's not get into the quagmire of what is 'real' when talking about people's experiences in a safespace thread.

Indeed. Let's instead focus on being supportive.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby SecondTalon » Mon Feb 06, 2017 8:54 pm UTC

liberonscien wrote:
Liri wrote:Hey, see that [Safespace] tag? Yeah. I'm gonna echo what F_T said to you in the likewise-safe women's thread.

Edit: wrt to the "nonsense"

Spoiler:
Oh, I've apparently not been clear. I'm wondering if I'm understanding this stuff correctly or if I'm getting bad information from Tumblr. I mean, I hear about stuff like sapiosexual on Tumblr and I am not sure if stuff like that is a real thing or Tumblr nonsense like "frost gender" and "otherkin". I've heard of sapiosexual before but whenever I look it up I get Tumblr stuff. I'm pretty sure frost gender isn't a real thing. I'm almost absolutely certain otherkin isn't a real thing either.

poxic wrote:I'm asexual and occasionally post about it (here and other places). AVEN is a decent resource (http://www.asexuality.org). They have a "Meetup Mart" where folks from different cities post about where the group is going for coffee or whatnot.

Spoiler:
Oh, an actual website that doesn't have a reputation for being extremely strange like Tumblr.
Alright, something real.

More clarification: I have nothing but support for the LGBTIQQA community and I'm just wondering if some of the stuff I hear about it is an actual part of it or not.

If I have inadvertently been unclear in the above post, let me know and I'll do my best to clarify.
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On a phone so I'll give you a longer rundown later, but the short version is - In a safespace thread, don't shit on someone's parade.

No one's saying to not post here. They are saying to not put people down while you're doing it
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Pfhorrest » Mon Feb 06, 2017 9:49 pm UTC

I have a question and/or an idea. Is there a thread somewhere on this forum that is not a safe space where it would be appropriate to (still respectfully but not safe-space level) discuss the theory (science, philosophy, etc) of gender, orientation, etc; and might it be a good idea (if possible somehow) to link to such a place in an obvious place from here so as to redirect conversation about that there and away from here?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby SecondTalon » Mon Feb 06, 2017 10:10 pm UTC

There's no thread about it, but FaiD seems a decent enough place to do it.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Angua » Mon Feb 06, 2017 10:18 pm UTC

I seem to remember a gender thread in SB many years ago.

I don't think it would be that great to point to it from here though. It might not be great following a safespace thread to a non-safespace one if all you want is a safespace at the time?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Pfhorrest » Mon Feb 06, 2017 10:55 pm UTC

I was thinking more for the people who don't quite get the boundaries of a safespace, there might be a notice along the lines of "this is not the appropriate place to debate the theory underlying LGBTIQQA matters; if that's what you're looking for, please see this thread instead." I don't think such a thread necessarily has to degrade into anything hateful, and people could have a respectfully critical and analytic discussion about related things, in a manner that wouldn't be appropriate for a safe space (where such critique and analysis goes against the purpose) there, instead of here, and instead of just being shut down entirely.
Last edited by Pfhorrest on Mon Feb 06, 2017 11:02 pm UTC, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby liberonscien » Mon Feb 06, 2017 10:56 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:
liberonscien wrote:
Liri wrote:Hey, see that [Safespace] tag? Yeah. I'm gonna echo what F_T said to you in the likewise-safe women's thread.

Edit: wrt to the "nonsense"

Spoiler:
Oh, I've apparently not been clear. I'm wondering if I'm understanding this stuff correctly or if I'm getting bad information from Tumblr. I mean, I hear about stuff like sapiosexual on Tumblr and I am not sure if stuff like that is a real thing or Tumblr nonsense like "frost gender" and "otherkin". I've heard of sapiosexual before but whenever I look it up I get Tumblr stuff. I'm pretty sure frost gender isn't a real thing. I'm almost absolutely certain otherkin isn't a real thing either.

poxic wrote:I'm asexual and occasionally post about it (here and other places). AVEN is a decent resource (http://www.asexuality.org). They have a "Meetup Mart" where folks from different cities post about where the group is going for coffee or whatnot.

Spoiler:
Oh, an actual website that doesn't have a reputation for being extremely strange like Tumblr.
Alright, something real.

More clarification: I have nothing but support for the LGBTIQQA community and I'm just wondering if some of the stuff I hear about it is an actual part of it or not.

If I have inadvertently been unclear in the above post, let me know and I'll do my best to clarify.
If people want me to stop posting here, I will.


On a phone so I'll give you a longer rundown later, but the short version is - In a safespace thread, 1. don't shit on someone's parade.

2. No one's saying to not post here. 3. They are saying to not put people down while you're doing it

1. I'm trying to avoid doing that.
2. I know, I'm just trying to be cooperative.
3. Was I doing that? I am sincerely sorry if I was.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby liberonscien » Mon Feb 06, 2017 10:59 pm UTC

Pfhorrest wrote:I was thinking more for the people who don't quite get the boundaries of a safespace, there might be a notice along the lines of "this is not the appropriate place to debate the theory underlying LGBTQQA matters; if that's what you're looking for, please see this thread instead."

Oh, I didn't realize that. I'm in this thread to talk theory. If that's not what this thread is about then I have no reason to continue to post in this thread as of now.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby WilliamTheConqueror » Tue Feb 07, 2017 1:05 am UTC

gender stuff is weird. i've been flitting back and forth lately from feeling Very Feminine (keep in mind that i'm AFAB) and very comfortable with the way my body looks (to an extent, anyways. i've always dealt with body image issues because i've almost always been overweight, but that's a different can of worms) to feeling Very Masculine and feeling all sorts of dysphoria. i think i'm agender, or genderfluid? i don't feel like i have a gender, per say, but my need for presentation shifts constantly. it's frustrating, especially since i've been considering transitioning off and on for the past 4 years.

speaking of transitioning, do any other NB people in this thread know of anyone who's taken testosterone for only a short-ish period of time and then stopped? because that's basically what i want to do. all of the permanent effects of T are... Really Appealing in terms of how i want to look and feel (deeper voice, facial/body hair, Certain Things Pertaining To Sexual Body Parts, ect.) but none of the effects that require consistent use seem like that big of a deal to me? like if i weren't to have them i'd be okay. i however, don't want to fly blind, so i've felt really anxious about it for a while.

thankfully, once our kid is conceived/born, my wife and i are going to transition roughly about the same time. she's starting as soon as we hit the second trimester so she can help breastfeed (which is SO COOL!!!!) and then as soon as Spawn is old enough to be weaned off of the tiddy i'm going to hopefully try and start my own transition. it'll be nice to have the added support, at least
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby CelticNot » Tue Feb 07, 2017 4:13 pm UTC

WilliamTheConqueror wrote:gender stuff is weird. i've been flitting back and forth lately from feeling Very Feminine (keep in mind that i'm AFAB) and very comfortable with the way my body looks (to an extent, anyways. i've always dealt with body image issues because i've almost always been overweight, but that's a different can of worms) to feeling Very Masculine and feeling all sorts of dysphoria. i think i'm agender, or genderfluid? i don't feel like i have a gender, per say, but my need for presentation shifts constantly. it's frustrating, especially since i've been considering transitioning off and on for the past 4 years.


If it's any consolation, my significant other is very similar, though he prefers male pronouns in general. Our official designation for him is "gendershrug", after the notion of giving a noncommittal shrug when someone asks you your gender.

Best of luck with your family and transition plans!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby e^iπ+1=0 » Tue Feb 07, 2017 11:56 pm UTC

poxic wrote:(Also not turned on by any of the other things that some people are - cars, dogs, velociraptors...)

So, this kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I don't know what to say about it since I get that you were being flippant and like three posts prior were talking about being non-gendered, but yeah. Like, I come across the whole "I identify as an attack helicopter lol gender identity is stupid" thing a fair amount, and I don't know how to feel about someone who doesn't actually mean it making the same joke.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby poxic » Wed Feb 08, 2017 12:27 am UTC

I know of people (not personally) who are sexually attracted to the three things I mentioned, which is why I used them as examples. It was a somewhat flippant comment, but intended to distinguish asexuals from people who are attracted to entities other than men or women. I apologise if it was too flippant for this space.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby e^iπ+1=0 » Wed Feb 08, 2017 1:40 am UTC

Oh, sorry, I parsed the sentence wrong. I read it as if you were saying that people identify as cars etc. and you're not attracted to those people, rather than that there are people who are turned on by cars, but you're not.

Yeah, never mind, that's fine. Sorry about that.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby natraj » Wed Feb 08, 2017 11:42 pm UTC

WilliamTheConqueror wrote:speaking of transitioning, do any other NB people in this thread know of anyone who's taken testosterone for only a short-ish period of time and then stopped?


i was on t for about three or so years, and now have been off it for about three or four. i am bad at keeping track of time. i know two other enby folk who were on it for a bit longer than me and then stopped.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Zohar » Thu Feb 09, 2017 2:18 am UTC

I have a friend who took testosterone for years and then stopped once he started trying to get pregnant (all the way until his first child was born). He repeated this a second time for a second child, and is now considering to do it for a third time. I can't really answer stuff for him but it can be done (or at least was done in multiple cases - he's not the first trans man to become pregnant).
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby eSOANEM » Thu Feb 09, 2017 12:36 pm UTC

I've also heard of people taking t at low doses or for short periods. As a dmab person though, I've been wondering about the possibility of similar short term/low dose hrt but I think it's generally harder for people whose bodies produce lots of t naturally because even small amounts tend to dominate other sex hormones. Idk, like, I think dmab people tend to take a hormone blocker and estrogen and taking two pills obviously makes it more complicated (and I've heard that just taking hormone blockers can be very bad).

Idk, it's not a thing that's majorly important to me, but is kind of like to have a better idea of what the options are.

This has been a bit of a tangential ramble but oh well
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Quercus » Thu Feb 09, 2017 2:47 pm UTC

eSOANEM wrote:Idk, it's not a thing that's majorly important to me, but is kind of like to have a better idea of what the options are.


Yeah, me too... if anything I'd just like to try estrogen (+t blockers) to see what the mental/emotional effects are like for me... I'm not particularly worried either way about the physical effects (bigger breasts would be nice I suppose, but I'm blessed with moderate gynecomastia anyway, so I've already got a perfectly satisfactory amount of boobage), but improved mental clarity, connection to emotions etc. that I've heard various transfeminine people talk about would be lovely.

Probably off the cards for the moment for me anyway, because my partner and I want children and for various reasons neither adoption nor IVF are particularly attractive options for us, so I don't want to screw up my fertility.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby ivnja » Thu Feb 16, 2017 8:08 am UTC

eSOANEM wrote:Idk, like, I think dmab people tend to take a hormone blocker and estrogen and taking two pills obviously makes it more complicated (and I've heard that just taking hormone blockers can be very bad).

Yeah, some variety of anti-androgen (spironolactone is one of the more common) to block T, and then estrogen in pill, patch, or shot form. I use the latter. Latterest? Last. And my spiro is in two daily pills.
It's not that uncommon for trans women to start on just the anti-androgen for a short time, but I don't think it generally goes for more than about a month before adding estrogen in, because you're right, going long-term with inadequate sex hormone levels can lead to things like osteoporosis.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby thunk » Sun Feb 19, 2017 12:30 pm UTC

Quercus wrote:Yeah, me too... if anything I'd just like to try estrogen (+t blockers) to see what the mental/emotional effects are like for me... I'm not particularly worried either way about the physical effects (bigger breasts would be nice I suppose, but I'm blessed with moderate gynecomastia anyway, so I've already got a perfectly satisfactory amount of boobage), but improved mental clarity, connection to emotions etc. that I've heard various transfeminine people talk about would be lovely.


I ended up being temporarily on low-dose estrogen for 4 months (and spiro for the latter 2) about a year ago. In all honesty, it didn't really have a serious emotional effect for me. I was about as all right as I usually was, it seems, though it might have been somewhat worse at the beginning (maybe that was from doing unexpectedly poorly in two classes though, which got resolved later on). Physiologically, I did start getting breast tenderness, but there hasn't been anything permanent, as far as I can tell.

I moved a few times and the disruption prevented further maintenance. Then I decided I wasn't really ready; I needed a lot more time to reassess my attitudes and my expectations regarding exactly what kind of transition I intend to do. And my thoughts have probably pivoted substantially from even a year or two ago.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Quercus » Sun Feb 19, 2017 8:54 pm UTC

thunk wrote:, I ended up being temporarily on low-dose estrogen for 4 months (and spiro for the latter 2) about a year ago. In all honesty, it didn't really have a serious emotional effect for me.


Thanks for this. That's a really useful perspective. I've been reading so many things on reddit saying "Oh me yarm estrogen is amazing" that I'd started to regard it as some sort of wonder drug for transfeminine people.

I hope your transition, of whatever form you decide upon, goes smoothly and well.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby CelticNot » Tue Feb 21, 2017 4:55 pm UTC

Quercus wrote:That's a really useful perspective. I've been reading so many things on reddit saying "Oh me yarm estrogen is amazing" that I'd started to regard it as some sort of wonder drug for transfeminine people.


Honestly for me, it wasn't the estrogen or progesterone that was the wonder drug, it was the anti-androgen (spironolactone in my case). It not only changed my emotional state overnight (much, much less angry at everything; much more open to expressing my emotions), but it also halted my male pattern baldness.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby thunk » Thu Feb 23, 2017 4:52 am UTC

I'd like to expand a bit on what I mentioned above, especially as it connects to the driving question of "do I even want to transition or not?"

There are several contexts in which I tend to see myself as a girl and would very much want to be(come?) one. However, these are mostly imagination/wishful thinking/daydream type things, yet persistent and present for a long while since reaching puberty.
But it also seems that when presented with the opportunity to take concrete steps in transitioning, I don't actually want to. Clothes shopping scares me the fuck away. Mannerisms and all that sound like too much work (and it seems...what's the point of all this? I'm not bothered enough to want to do that most of the time?). And as I mentioned, estrogen and AAs didn't really do much for me.

As a result, I've had a nagging worry that I'm merely a "transtrender" and am merely considering myself non-binary either out of misinterpreting what I'm feeling inside or as a result of being convinced to do so by the social justice community. This has gotten more acute recently as I've drifted away from the more extreme positions I used to take in high school, and then reading once again about the "truscum"/"tucute" drama.

Arguments in favor of me being trans are 1) that I do tend to have some level of physical dysphoria about certain gendered bodily features--I dreaded growing facial hair when it first started happening to me, and still aggressively try to shave it (though my skin is a bit damaged due to improper procedure.) and 2)that imagining myself as female does make me feel quite good when it happens, and that has been consistent, including instances before I even started considering that I was trans.

Arguments against are that 3)when it comes to dysphoria, I need to be reminded about it before I'm upset enough that it becomes a significant push factor in my presentation to the outside world. If I'm preoccupied with work or whatnot, I'm reasonably okay with being a "man", 4)as above, that I haven't done much concrete (aside from leg-shaving?) to address the things I tend to be concerned about, though that may be due to anxiety and fear of backlash/the new, and that 5)I may well be brushing aside moments when I'm unhappy about considering myself female(-like)/would rather be male in order to fit the narrative that I'm trans. I hated girls' toys when I was young, for instance, and my level of considering-myself-a-girliness tends to correlate a lot with my current level of being leftist, which implies that it may well be political.

In short, I don't think there are any easy answers to this question. The best path right now seems to get back to therapy/counseling (it's free where I'm currently at, thankfully), and use that in order to untangle the points above, before making a firm commitment on one course of action or another.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Zohar » Mon Feb 27, 2017 8:31 pm UTC

My dad professionally writes about off-road driving. Sometimes he also does leisure/travel stuff, mostly when he's describing his own experiences. Recently the editor for this somewhat high-class leisure and lifestyle magazine he occasionally writes for, asked him to write about an interesting hotel/restaurant he's been to. My dad suggested to write about the B&B we all went to during my husband and I's wedding in September, and the editor liked the idea.

So my dad writes the article and asked me for feedback, and I read it and have a few minor comments. But he also opens the article with something like "For my son's wedding we went to a charming B&B with the two of them". My husband and I had a lengthy (and good!) conversation with him about changing the language to "with the two grooms" - in Hebrew, a man and a woman and two men would be referred to in plural-masculine, so the default assumption would be that we're a man and a woman, thus us wanting him to be explicit. We explained how it's important to have representation in media of LGBTQ people (as well as other marginalized groups), without focusing on their marginalized status. For example, not just have an article about "Gay parenting", but happen to have a gay couple talk about their parenting experiences in an article about raising children.

He agreed with us, and said he'll raise it with the editor and ask him if they could use that phrasing, and I was pleased with that. I think it's important to just have these conversations among the "decision makers", even if the answer is no. But I hoped to hear "Yeah sure who fucking cares" as the response. Unfortunately his editor said no, and that he's worried of rocking the boat. Which sucks. but hopefully the editor will be reminded other people exist...
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Liri » Tue Feb 28, 2017 12:06 am UTC

Dang! At least your dad was great.

I've got a vaguely germane Runescape story:
Spoiler:
in one of the recent quests, you get to talk to a lot of long-time characters and learn some backstory. One of the male characters, when you ask about his family, casually refers to his husband. I was pretty psyched (first openly gay character in the game) so I went to the forums to see what people were saying. The vast majority were positive, happily. The naysayers were unfortunate. The character is a very well-liked god, too.

It was very well-done.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby eSOANEM » Tue Feb 28, 2017 11:04 am UTC

Yeah, glad your dad was on board even if the editors were shit
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Wed Mar 01, 2017 9:47 am UTC

Zohar wrote:My dad professionally writes about off-road driving. Sometimes he also does leisure/travel stuff, mostly when he's describing his own experiences. Recently the editor for this somewhat high-class leisure and lifestyle magazine he occasionally writes for, asked him to write about an interesting hotel/restaurant he's been to. My dad suggested to write about the B&B we all went to during my husband and I's wedding in September, and the editor liked the idea.

So my dad writes the article and asked me for feedback, and I read it and have a few minor comments. But he also opens the article with something like "For my son's wedding we went to a charming B&B with the two of them". My husband and I had a lengthy (and good!) conversation with him about changing the language to "with the two grooms" - in Hebrew, a man and a woman and two men would be referred to in plural-masculine, so the default assumption would be that we're a man and a woman, thus us wanting him to be explicit. We explained how it's important to have representation in media of LGBTQ people (as well as other marginalized groups), without focusing on their marginalized status. For example, not just have an article about "Gay parenting", but happen to have a gay couple talk about their parenting experiences in an article about raising children.

He agreed with us, and said he'll raise it with the editor and ask him if they could use that phrasing, and I was pleased with that. I think it's important to just have these conversations among the "decision makers", even if the answer is no. But I hoped to hear "Yeah sure who fucking cares" as the response. Unfortunately his editor said no, and that he's worried of rocking the boat. Which sucks. but hopefully the editor will be reminded other people exist...

Oh you got married? Congrats!

Yay dad! Boo editor!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Zohar » Wed Mar 01, 2017 1:41 pm UTC

Hah, yes, we did. It was fantastic and emotional weekend filled with love, friendship, and support. I'm not sure it was worth the stress leading up to it.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Monika » Wed Mar 01, 2017 1:49 pm UTC

LOL, yeah, wedding preparations are super stressful.
At my wedding in addition: seating order. My mom doesn't talk to my bio dad, step dad or her parents. That limits the options. But in the end nobody got murdered, so I count that as a successful wedding ;) . Even though I forgot my ring, my husband (after collecting it) forgot which finger the ring belongs on, and he stepped on my dress when we went into the wedding room :lol:
I guess it's lucky poly marriages aren't allowed and my girlfriend and me don't really want to get married to each other anyway ;)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Pfhorrest » Tue Apr 18, 2017 3:57 am UTC

So I discovered this amazing app that may be of interest to some people here. It's called FaceApp, it's for iOS and Android, and it's a neural network based facial image reprocessor that can do a bunch of stuff like aging and youthifying and making people smile but most interesting to me is it can feminize or masculinize faces. It can be kinda hit or miss but for me some of its hits are freaking out of the park and it is so amazing to see the results that I kinda want to share them because Oh me yarm Oh.

Original + fem.

Original + hot + fem.

Original + hot + fem + smile.
(One of my favorites, most natural-looking).

Original + hot + fem + smile.
(Biggest transformation I think, and only one with my hair up so it's all about the face not just the hair).

Original + hot + fem.

Original + hot + fem.

Original + hot + fem.

Original + hot + fem.
(My favorite results I think).

And here's embedded the M-F side-by-side comparison for my favorite two:
ImageImage
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby ivnja » Mon Apr 24, 2017 1:35 am UTC

I'm 4 months in on spiro and E as of this past week, and over the past two weeks I've noticed my body hair abruptly just melt away. Chest hair gone, back hair gone, almost all stomach hair gone, shoulder hair (which always disgusted me more than any of the rest of it, and which was always visible again the day after I shaved it because it was dark and my shoulders are pale) gone, leg hair significantly thinned...it's amazing. It's all fuzzy little blonde vellus hairs now. My facial stubble is unfortunately still stubbornly resisting my at-home laser attempts, but still, I'm feeling a lot more welcome in my body now.

:D
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Ginger » Thu Apr 27, 2017 11:13 am UTC

Meanwhile I am about four or five years in on doing spironolactone and estrogen (tried pill and patch) and nothing... just absolutely nothing beyond maybe less facial hair growth and sterility (ew gross :P). I'm wondering what I can do to make the estrogen work better or something? I've stopped taking a medicine that eats a lot of it--according to my former endocrinologist--and ceased smoking to avoid blood clots too. It's been very distressing for me that the hormones and androgen blocker are not working like I expect them to because I've always wanted to transition so I am kind of just forcing myself to continue along with my doctor's plans while occasionally pushing them and myself to make lifestyle changes.

(By the way, I've been nervous to type my message, as I was worried that people would find me not to be a "real woman"--that has been said about me more times than I can count and it hurts each time--or otherwise a "trans trender" person or something. Anyways, yes, I am a transsexual woman and that does not particularly make me feel shame anymore, but it has, because I value others' acceptance of my physical appearance highly. Sigh. :( )
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Zohar » Thu Apr 27, 2017 12:55 pm UTC

Ginger wrote:Meanwhile I am about four or five years in on doing spironolactone and estrogen (tried pill and patch) and nothing... just absolutely nothing beyond maybe less facial hair growth and sterility (ew gross :P). I'm wondering what I can do to make the estrogen work better or something? I've stopped taking a medicine that eats a lot of it--according to my former endocrinologist--and ceased smoking to avoid blood clots too. It's been very distressing for me that the hormones and androgen blocker are not working like I expect them to because I've always wanted to transition so I am kind of just forcing myself to continue along with my doctor's plans while occasionally pushing them and myself to make lifestyle changes.

(By the way, I've been nervous to type my message, as I was worried that people would find me not to be a "real woman"--that has been said about me more times than I can count and it hurts each time--or otherwise a "trans trender" person or something. Anyways, yes, I am a transsexual woman and that does not particularly make me feel shame anymore, but it has, because I value others' acceptance of my physical appearance highly. Sigh. :( )

I don't have practical advice to give but you could try to see if you can at least get a second opinion. Not necessarily because your doctor is wrong, but because it's nice to know you're on the right path.

As for the people who judge your gender based on how well you pass or not and how many changes you've done in your body - I'm sorry you have to experience that. They are wrong and they're assholes. Doesn't make it hurt much less.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Ginger » Thu Apr 27, 2017 1:02 pm UTC

Thank you for the moral support Zohar. Yes, I've gotten several references to doctors in the nearest big city (I live in a small conservative town so must rely on out of town services to transition) and have been considering switching things up in some way. That's what I did a few months ago when I was not satisfied with my previous endocrinologist (however my current doctor works with him so I haven't distanced myself that much). Anyway, I can indeed get a second opinion, and may try that if my current doctor keeps saying the same things despite nothing currently doing its job.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby eSOANEM » Mon May 08, 2017 4:13 pm UTC

cn: transphobia within queer spaces and associated shit like bio essentialism etc; mentions of fgm

Spoiler:
A bunch of pages for my university appeared recently. First there was memebridge for memes, then crushbridge for people to do missed connections type stuff, then grudgebridge for people to anonymously rant about people, and then queerbridge which is crushbridge but queer.

Anyway, there was a post earlier along the lines of "I'm a lesbian and I was a bit taken aback when I found out my trans gf has a penis; how should I handle this". The first few responses were mostly good saying that yup, it can be difficult and that's understandable, but you should probably think a bit about why it bothers you and, more importantly, talk it through with your gf (in particular, if you're squicked out by penetration, that may not be relevant because a lot of trans women don't like that because it can be dysphoria inducing).

Then a shitlord showed up saying that everything was fine and dandy and under no circumstances is it wrong to refuse to date or fuck people of any group. He then submitted another post to the page saying as much and explicitly using race and genitals as examples.

This thread has then exploded into a complete shitshow. The original shitlord has repeatedly claimed that all this is just rampant homophobia and that we (the trans community) are trying to erase gay people out of existence and that my ID as genderqueer is irrelevant because fgm is a thing and was saying one of my friends (who is genderfluid) has never experienced homophobia in response to being told of a time they were beaten up by someone for making out with a dude outside a gay club. He also continually referred to all trans people as gender non-conforming even when it was explained to him why this was shitty.

And a few other cis gay men jumped in to defend him and it's just so tiring not even being safe from this bullshit in queer circles
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Zohar » Mon May 08, 2017 4:33 pm UTC

Ugh, that's super shitty, and I'm sorry for that. The amount of misogyny and and LBTQ-phobia in the gay community is ridiculous. It's one of the clearest examples of how privilege and oppression work.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby Pfhorrest » Mon May 08, 2017 6:33 pm UTC

I can see why the resulting consequences in that thread would be frustrating but I'm a bit confused by why
Spoiler:
under no circumstances is it wrong to refuse to date or fuck people of any group
is a shitty thing to say? Isn't the whole point of being tolerant and accepting of different orientations that people want to date or fuck whoever they want to date or fuck and we shouldn't be telling anyone that they should do or want anyone other than they want to do or want?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Postby SecondTalon » Mon May 08, 2017 7:07 pm UTC

I'm assuming it's far less to do with the actual content and more of when, how, and why it was delivered - i.e. It's low hanging fruit for trolling.
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