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Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2018 5:40 pm UTC
by Dr34m(4+(h3r
I'm in Honolulu. And I'm on T-Mobile.

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2018 6:52 am UTC
by suffer-cait
I got over worked, and now I'm at the airport. If you're still lacking a phone in a couple weeks, I'll see if I have a spare around. Though if I do, it won't be very good.

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2018 8:15 pm UTC
by Dr34m(4+(h3r
I begged for money and bought another one. Hopefully it doesn't have the same problems. Thank you though.

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2018 7:20 pm UTC
by suffer-cait
Glad to hear you've got yourself taken care of.

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2018 12:42 am UTC
by thunk
thunk wrote:I'd like to expand a bit on what I mentioned above, especially as it connects to the driving question of "do I even want to transition or not?"

There are several contexts in which I tend to see myself as a girl and would very much want to be(come?) one. However, these are mostly imagination/wishful thinking/daydream type things, yet persistent and present for a long while since reaching puberty.
But it also seems that when presented with the opportunity to take concrete steps in transitioning, I don't actually want to. Clothes shopping scares me the fuck away. Mannerisms and all that sound like too much work (and it seems...what's the point of all this? I'm not bothered enough to want to do that most of the time?). And as I mentioned, estrogen and AAs didn't really do much for me.

As a result, I've had a nagging worry that I'm merely a "transtrender" and am merely considering myself non-binary either out of misinterpreting what I'm feeling inside or as a result of being convinced to do so by the social justice community. This has gotten more acute recently as I've drifted away from the more extreme positions I used to take in high school, and then reading once again about the "truscum"/"tucute" drama.

Arguments in favor of me being trans are 1) that I do tend to have some level of physical dysphoria about certain gendered bodily features--I dreaded growing facial hair when it first started happening to me, and still aggressively try to shave it (though my skin is a bit damaged due to improper procedure.) and 2)that imagining myself as female does make me feel quite good when it happens, and that has been consistent, including instances before I even started considering that I was trans.

Arguments against are that 3)when it comes to dysphoria, I need to be reminded about it before I'm upset enough that it becomes a significant push factor in my presentation to the outside world. If I'm preoccupied with work or whatnot, I'm reasonably okay with being a "man", 4)as above, that I haven't done much concrete (aside from leg-shaving?) to address the things I tend to be concerned about, though that may be due to anxiety and fear of backlash/the new, and that 5)I may well be brushing aside moments when I'm unhappy about considering myself female(-like)/would rather be male in order to fit the narrative that I'm trans. I hated girls' toys when I was young, for instance, and my level of considering-myself-a-girliness tends to correlate a lot with my current level of being leftist, which implies that it may well be political.

In short, I don't think there are any easy answers to this question. The best path right now seems to get back to therapy/counseling (it's free where I'm currently at, thankfully), and use that in order to untangle the points above, before making a firm commitment on one course of action or another.

Let's reassess where I'm at 1.5 years on.
I definitely seem to like behaving in a female manner. I've gotten back on HRT, and like what it's doing. So far so good.
Haven't gone shopping for clothes much, but when I did I very much appreciated it--especially after getting past the initial anxiety.
Point 3) still holds, in that my dysphoria has never been severe, but it's a good thing to mitigate.
5) Am I happy in doing 'male' things sometimes, or being such? Quite possibly. But that's not something absolutely (or at all) precluded just because I have some breast tissue now. And I've swung away from the political left, towards the center, without detransitioning, so that isn't right either.

Really, the period of reflection I took seems to have been useful, and as I mature I can get past some of these hangups.
It helps that I'm now in a much more supportive community and place than when I started.

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2018 1:37 am UTC
by Aaeriele
Glad to hear it, thunk. :)

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2018 3:15 pm UTC
by CelticNot
Five days until surgery.


Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2018 4:23 pm UTC
by poxic
I'll help:


Seriously though, best of everything to you!

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2018 4:52 am UTC
by thunk
Good luck. Hope it goes expeditiously.

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2018 6:07 am UTC
by Deva
Good luck.

Published the results of a United Kingdom-based survey recently. Responded to quite a few questions. Will pick out several bits.

Identities of respondents:
- Gay or Lesbian: 61%. Bisexual: 26%. Pansexual: 4%. Asexual: 2%. Queer: 1%.
- Non-binary: 6.9%. Trans woman: 3.5%. Trans man: 2.9%.
- Intersex: 2%.

Life satisfaction (out of 10)
- General United Kingdom population: 7.7
- Gay/Lesbian: 6.9
- Respondents (overall average): 6.5
- Bisexual: 6.3
- Pansexual: 5.9
- Asexual: 5.9
- Trans woman: 5.5
- Non-binary: 5.5
- Trans man: 5.1

Avoided being open about sexual orientation due to fear of a bad reaction for 70% of gays/lesbians, 80% of bisexuals, 86% of queer, and 89% of asexuals. Said the same of gender identity for 56% of trans men, 59% of trans women, and 76% of non-binaries.

Asked about any incidents in the past twelve months due to sexual and/or gender identity. Happened to 40% of respondents from someone they did not live with and to 29% from someone they did live with. Did not report the most serious incident regarding someone they lived with in 94% of cases. Cited it being too minor/common, not being taken seriously, and no likely change as the most common reasons.

Experienced something negative due to sexual and/or gender identity for one-third of respondents in education from 2016-2017. Noted a decline as people grew older. Described 88% of the perpetrators as students and 9% as teaching staff. Did not report the most serious incident in 83% of cases. Listed similar reasons as above.

Started transitioning by age twenty-four for 44% of trans women, 78% of non-binaries, and 84% of trans men.

Reported accessing mental health services at 24%, within the past twelve months. Appeared most prevalent among (cisgender) bisexuals at 29%, trans women at 30%, non-binaries at 37%, and trans men at 40%. Tried and failed to access mental health services among 8% of all respondents.

Claimed to have been attacked by a colleague or customer at work for 1 in 8 of trans employees. Held paid employment in the past twelve months for 65% of trans women and 57% of trans men (versus 80% of all respondents).

Probably listed too many. Contains more beyond this, though.

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2018 6:56 pm UTC
by Shivahn
Huh. A lot of those relative numbers surprise me. I wonder if I'm just off-base with assumptions, or if the UK has a slightly different relative setup.

Re: [SAFESPACE] LGBTIQQA Thread - Queer Support!

Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2018 5:33 am UTC
by Deva
Found the identities breakdown surprising. Expected something slightly less lopsided. Wondered about the survey's presentation. Mentioned using LGBT as an umbrella term. Might put off people not explicitly in the acronym. Skimmed the long report. Asked for sexual or gender minorities. Discovered this, however:
Respondents were able to specify their own sexual orientation and gender identity if they wished in a free-text box. These responses were coded and the more common answers grouped into new categories. This process resulted in the creation of three additional sexual orientation categories to those originally listed on the questionnaire (asexual, pansexual and queer).

Cannot imagine that helping the lesser-represented. Collected a lot of data regardless, though. Puts it to good use, hopefully.

Learned about Section 28 from a footnote, also.
Section 28 of the Local Government Act 1988 prohibited local authorities from ‘promoting’ homosexuality and spending money on educational materials and projects perceived to promote a ‘gay lifestyle’. It was repealed in Scotland in 2000 and in the rest of the UK in 2003

Undoubtedly shaped some experiences. Almost stated that as an explicit difference (although likely no less common in practice) from the United States. Knew enough to check. Continues today in seven states, according to the Wiki. (Mentions Section 28 there too.) Lurks in unsurprising states (Alabama, Arizona, Louisiana, Mississippi, Oklahoma, South Carolina, and Texas). Ought not be shocked, given sexual education in the United States.