I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

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silent man
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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby silent man » Thu Aug 06, 2009 4:09 pm UTC

- "The respirator is in this bag. Because that's where it belongs. That's why the bag has 'RESPIRATOR' written on it in two languages."

- "If we have more work than we can do in the available time, 'taking it slowly' may not be the best thing to do. Taking an extra long lunch break probably won't help, either." Was not actually said, because questioning your superior's work ethics to their face is not a smart thing to do, especially when working with them for the first time.

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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Thu Aug 06, 2009 4:11 pm UTC

"It was not, is not, and will never be Peanut Butter Jelly Time."

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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby Titch » Thu Aug 06, 2009 5:03 pm UTC

"No, the Police Box ISN'T full of Police Officers."
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Magilla
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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby Magilla » Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:36 am UTC

If it's sharp enough for me to shave with, then yes, it's sharp enough to cut your finger.

My Scanpan Damastahl knife came last night. I now have a bald patch on my arm. And LuNatic has a band-aid on his finger >.<
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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby Verysillyman » Fri Aug 07, 2009 3:41 am UTC

Mighty Jalapeno wrote:"It was not, is not, and will never be Peanut Butter Jelly Time."


i'm pretty sure it is...

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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby clintonius » Fri Aug 07, 2009 3:58 am UTC

Coworker -- "this is going to take me all day"
Me -- "isn't that why we work all day?"
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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby LuNatic » Fri Aug 07, 2009 10:17 am UTC

Magilla wrote:
If it's sharp enough for me to shave with, then yes, it's sharp enough to cut your finger.

My Scanpan Damastahl knife came last night. I now have a bald patch on my arm. And LuNatic has a band-aid on his finger >.<


:cry:
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This is, for some reason, one of the funniest things I've read today.

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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby Plasma Man » Fri Aug 07, 2009 10:54 am UTC

"No, when scanning patients we inject megabecquerels, not megacuries."
Please note that despite the lovely avatar Sungura gave me, I am not a medical doctor.

Possibly my proudest moment on the fora.

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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby Magilla » Fri Aug 07, 2009 11:25 am UTC

LuNatic wrote:
Magilla wrote:
If it's sharp enough for me to shave with, then yes, it's sharp enough to cut your finger.

My Scanpan Damastahl knife came last night. I now have a bald patch on my arm. And LuNatic has a band-aid on his finger >.<


:cry:

That's right, I posted it. And now the whole internet knows.

Yeah, I went there. :twisted:

:P
They perceive my perambulations upon my gyroscopically-balanced personal transportation device, and have thus concluded that I am of Caucasian decent, and, while intelligent, I am also somewhat socially inept. - Peculiar Alfred

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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby Moo » Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:07 pm UTC

- "No, I'm not taking a picture of my course instructor's moustache just because the internet demands proof" ( :P )
- "I am part of the programming team, that's why I answered the programmer's phone line. Not a secretary like everyone assumes"
- "I got your email about you needing me to delete a user from the system. Can you actually tell me which user, or shall I just pick one at random?"


(Loving these, especially MJ's offerings)
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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby fyrenwater » Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:08 pm UTC

"Vegetarian dishes are meat-less. Hence the term VEGETARIAN."
[later]
"Of course vegetables are alive! They breathe, grow, reproduce, and die!"
[later]
"NO, you can't go in a lab and just SCIENCE vegetables out of chemicals!"
[much later...]
"No, I'm not going grocery shopping with you next week. Or ever again. I kinda figured it was obvious."
...It made more sense in my head.

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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby Zohar » Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:22 pm UTC

fyrenwater wrote:"Vegetarian dishes are meat-less. Hence the term VEGETARIAN."

I hate this one so much! What's "vegetarian" about a dish that has fish stock in it? Fish is meat, people!
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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby Haistfu » Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:29 pm UTC

"Yes, you can go to the bathroom."

"Yes, I'm in the Navy." (while in uniform)

"Of course you have a clitoris."
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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby OBrien » Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:29 pm UTC

Zohar wrote:I hate this one so much! What's "vegetarian" about a dish that has fish stock in it? Fish is meat, people!

That's not a vegetarian; that's a pescetarian one.
Spelling and grammar can go screw themselves.

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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby EvilDuckie » Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:31 pm UTC

Moo wrote:- "I got your email about you needing me to delete a user from the system. Can you actually tell me which user, or shall I just pick one at random?"


Random of course... doh...
Quack!

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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby Moo » Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:58 pm UTC

OBrien wrote:
Zohar wrote:I hate this one so much! What's "vegetarian" about a dish that has fish stock in it? Fish is meat, people!
That's not a vegetarian; that's a pescetarian one.
Uh, no. Zohar is a vegetarian, not a pescatarian. So dishes with fish stock aren't suitable to him, only to pescetarians. So it shouldn't be labeled vegetarian.



"No, none of the canapes have prawn in".
One a waiter shouldn't have had to say to me - it was a Jewish wedding. I'm alergic and really used to checking ok?
Proverbs 9:7-8 wrote:Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. So don't bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you.
Hawknc wrote:FFT: I didn't realise Proverbs 9:7-8 was the first recorded instance of "haters gonna hate"

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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby OBrien » Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:59 pm UTC

OIC. Sorry, lack of sleep+ too much coffee = much misinterpretation of peoples' posts.
Spelling and grammar can go screw themselves.

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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby Zohar » Fri Aug 07, 2009 2:56 pm UTC

Nah, that's OK. Thanks Moo. Well, OBrien, you said it in this thread, so I guess it qualifies as posting something you shouldn't have to say. :P
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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby Woofsie » Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:45 pm UTC

Similar to the above, when I'm explaining to someone that I'm vegan.
"No, I don't eat chicken either."


To my grandmother:
"Soy milk is made from.. soy."

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OBrien
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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby OBrien » Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:51 pm UTC

"Turn your music down Mum, you'll bother the neighbours"
Honest to God, I just did this. The most awesome part is that it was Classic Punk from my MP3 player she was blasting out.
Spelling and grammar can go screw themselves.

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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby crickets » Fri Aug 07, 2009 5:55 pm UTC

"Yes, the outdoor shoelaces will work in your shoes if you wear them inside"

"No, just because this ONE tent is on sale does not mean ALL tents are on sale"

"Your library card is not viable proof of age."

"No, i cannot leave this cart full of BULLETS unattended for five minutes. THEY ARE BULLETS"

"No, your six year old is NOT responsible enough to pump gasoline. HER HEAD IS NEXT TO THE GAS TANK"

"Do not start pumping gas untill the nozzles is IN your gas tank."

"No, I can't give you a new car wash code because you threw out your reciept from four days ago."

"no, i cannot make the gas pumps /pump faster/. I do not have a magic speed knob" - I really did say this to a customer. i was cranky.

I can go on all day. If you ever want to meet some spectacularly ignorant people, work in a gas station. Or a canadian tire, for that matter. It's pretty amazing how some people function in day to day life without blowing themselves up.
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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby velvet_octopus » Fri Aug 07, 2009 9:20 pm UTC

I remembered this one when applying for a passport, but thankfully didn't have to say it then:

"Yes, that is my legal name."

Especially when taking standardized tests or filling out other official paperwork, jeez, people, do you think I'd put a nickname on a legal document? Now that I'm 20, I think people are starting to give me credit for knowing how to fill out forms - however, the lady at the post office did have my driver's license in front of her at the time, so I'm not sure if she just read it off there instead of asking or if people are starting to trust my intelligence. When I was 15, 16? Asked all the time. Yeah, I suppose that just illustrates mankind's general distrust for each other's competency.
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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby OBrien » Fri Aug 07, 2009 9:29 pm UTC

So... what's so unusual about your name?
Spelling and grammar can go screw themselves.

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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby sje46 » Fri Aug 07, 2009 9:36 pm UTC

why are you concerned with them insulting your intelligence if they don't know you? You could be a genius, and you could be an idiot. If your legal name is Billy, I would hope that they ask if that is your legal name. It could just be a slip up after all.
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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby velvet_octopus » Fri Aug 07, 2009 10:30 pm UTC

OBrien wrote:So... what's so unusual about your name?


It happens to be an alternate spelling of a shortened version of what is usually a longer name . . .

sje46 wrote:why are you concerned with them insulting your intelligence if they don't know you? You could be a genius, and you could be an idiot. If your legal name is Billy, I would hope that they ask if that is your legal name. It could just be a slip up after all.


I mean, yeah, it's something like that. Only imagine it's spelled Billey instead, or maybe Billi, or Bily, and that your middle name rhymes with William. (Hypothetical here, people. But that's the situation.)

My point is that it's really sad that with our society, it's really sad that people have to assume that you are messing up when they see a name that's out of the ordinary.
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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby SecondTalon » Fri Aug 07, 2009 10:45 pm UTC

velvet_octopus wrote:
OBrien wrote:So... what's so unusual about your name?


It happens to be an alternate spelling of a shortened version of what is usually a longer name . . .
Bu-bu-katy-fuk?
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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby zug » Fri Aug 07, 2009 10:47 pm UTC

Billiam? Are you there??
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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Fri Aug 07, 2009 10:48 pm UTC

Myk?

"Eight is a laaarger number than three."

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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby Surgery » Sat Aug 08, 2009 6:34 am UTC

crickets wrote:"No, just because this ONE tent is on sale does not mean ALL tents are on sale"

...

"No, i cannot leave this cart full of BULLETS unattended for five minutes. THEY ARE BULLETS"

If you ever want to meet some spectacularly ignorant people, work in a gas station.
You work in a gas station that sells tents and bullets?! Also, to be fair Gander doesn't lock up their ammo, it's out there on the sales floor, and even Wal-Mart only locks up certain types of ammo.

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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby crickets » Sat Aug 08, 2009 6:55 am UTC

Surgery wrote:
crickets wrote:"No, just because this ONE tent is on sale does not mean ALL tents are on sale"

...

"No, i cannot leave this cart full of BULLETS unattended for five minutes. THEY ARE BULLETS"

If you ever want to meet some spectacularly ignorant people, work in a gas station.
You work in a gas station that sells tents and bullets?! Also, to be fair Gander doesn't lock up their ammo, it's out there on the sales floor, and even Wal-Mart only locks up certain types of ammo.


Those quotes are from the Canadian Tire mentioned later, which is essentially canada's wal-mart.
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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby Khepera » Sat Aug 08, 2009 9:02 am UTC

"No, you cannot light my arm on fire"
"Sex between friends is still cheating"
"I am sorry, but i cannot attend Chem warfare training due to the fact I was sent to Afghansitan by you"
"my master bedroom is not your living room"
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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby fyrenwater » Sat Aug 08, 2009 9:26 am UTC

vegetarian
It was legitimately vegetarian. Anything else is labeled as such, with handy signs that say "Contains Beef/Pork/Chicken/etc.", "Vegetarian", "Vegan", "Gluten-Free", etc.

Spoiler'd for Cluster F Bomb and RAEG.
Spoiler:
"Take the Poptarts OUT of the foil wrapper before heating them. IT SAYS IT ON THE WRAPPER. FOR FUCKING DRUNK IDIOTS LIKE YOU THAT ARE TOO DUMB TO LIVE. YOU ALMOST FUCKING BURNED THE DORM DOWN YOU BRAINLESS CLOD WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?"


...Dorm life sucks. So glad I'm done with that.
...It made more sense in my head.

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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby Pez Dispens3r » Sat Aug 08, 2009 9:57 am UTC

fyrenwater wrote:"Vegetarian dishes are meat-less. Hence the term VEGETARIAN."

One time, I ordered a vegetarian pizza, and it had bacon.

Bacon is not a vegetable.

I didn't really mind, though, because I'm not vegetarian. But sometimes vegetarian pizzas are nice because they have to work harder to make it tasty.
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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby UnderRock » Sat Aug 08, 2009 11:28 am UTC

"Now is not the time. Any time but now." Said to my mother, who insisted on starting fights with my cousin and cussing out my aunt in front of my grandma, who was on her death bed.

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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby Titch » Sat Aug 08, 2009 12:18 pm UTC

Pez Dispens3r wrote:
Bacon is not a vegetable.



I would quite like to sig that. I think I shall. =O

And on topic: "Yes, the water dispenser gives cold water. It's on a fridge."
Last edited by Titch on Sat Aug 08, 2009 12:39 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
Pez Dispens3r wrote:Bacon is not a vegetable.

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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby Zohar » Sat Aug 08, 2009 12:30 pm UTC

Pez Dispens3r wrote:But sometimes vegetarian pizzas are nice because they have to work harder to make it tasty.

I call bullshit. Seriously, vegetarian food can be just as good or better than meat. I'd be willing to throw a lasagna fight between a meaty one and a veggie one against anyone, and I'm pretty sure a lot of the time (unless I'm up against a professional), I'd win.
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SecondTalon: "Still better looking than Jesus."

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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby SlyReaper » Sat Aug 08, 2009 3:03 pm UTC

"No, I am not a terrorist, and I have never been involved in any plots to overthrow the democratic government of the UK"

^^ Me, filling out my security clearance form. I honestly do wonder if anyone actually does tick "yes" to "Are you a terrorist?"
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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby kapojinha » Sat Aug 08, 2009 4:38 pm UTC

Mighty Jalapeno wrote:"No."

24 times in a row.


Hahahahah.
I would like to hear the story behind this one.
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Re: I Shouldn't Have To Say This

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Sat Aug 08, 2009 4:40 pm UTC

Following around a 19 month old. She has realized her maximum damage potential, and now just... walks around breaking stuff. Constantly. All the time.


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