Lord forgive me...

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

Moderators: Moderators General, Prelates, Magistrates

User avatar
frywater
Posts: 10
Joined: Sun Oct 18, 2009 8:27 pm UTC
Location: The Lone Star State

Lord forgive me...

Postby frywater » Thu Oct 22, 2009 12:49 am UTC

For the sins I have committed are more in number than the sand of the sea;
my transgressions are multiplied, O Lord, they are multiplied!
I am not worthy to look up and see the height of heaven
because of the multitude of my iniquities.
I am weighted down with many an iron fetter,
so that I am rejected because of my sins,
and I have no relief;
for I have provoked your wrath
and have done what is evil in your sight,
setting up abominations and multiplying offences.
And now I bend the knee of my heart,
imploring you for your kindness.
I have sinned, O Lord, I have sinned,
and I acknowledge my transgressions.
I earnestly implore you,
forgive me, O Lord, forgive me!
Do not destroy me with my transgressions!
Do not be angry with me forever or store up evil for me;
do not condemn me to the depths of the earth.
For you, O Lord, are the God of those who repent...

If anyone else would like to beg the Lord for forgiveness, I've created this thread for you to do so.
O day and night, but this is wondrous strange!

JoeyJo0
Posts: 167
Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2009 12:19 pm UTC

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby JoeyJo0 » Thu Oct 22, 2009 12:52 am UTC

If the Lord has to forgive all the things that I've done, he's still working on it in 2100.
Ell (to Hintss) wrote:No, you can't see who has foed you. Be glad, because the list would probably be long enough to give you carpal tunnel if you tried to scroll through it.

Walter.Horvath
Posts: 933
Joined: Fri May 15, 2009 11:33 pm UTC
Location: Orlando, FL

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby Walter.Horvath » Thu Oct 22, 2009 1:47 am UTC

In b4 blasphemy

Luv u God!

User avatar
TheGrammarBolshevik
Posts: 4878
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2008 2:12 am UTC
Location: Going to and fro in the earth, and walking up and down in it.

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby TheGrammarBolshevik » Thu Oct 22, 2009 2:14 am UTC

JoeyJo0 wrote:If the Lord has to forgive all the things that I've done, he's still working on it in 2100.
Walter.Horvath wrote:In b4 blasphemy

Luv u God!

Nope.
Nothing rhymes with orange,
Not even sporange.

User avatar
crucialityfactor
Ry-Ry
Posts: 284
Joined: Fri Aug 08, 2008 11:43 pm UTC
Location: Is so hot right now.

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby crucialityfactor » Thu Oct 22, 2009 2:30 am UTC

I didn't know this fora was ordained to absolve our sins.

User avatar
netcrusher88
Posts: 2166
Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2007 4:35 pm UTC
Location: Seattle

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby netcrusher88 » Thu Oct 22, 2009 2:32 am UTC

crucialityfactor wrote:I didn't know this fora was ordained to absolve our sins.
Surely there are plenty of ULC ministers around.
Sexothermic
I have only ever made one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it. -Voltaire
They said we would never have a black president until Swine Flu. -Gears

User avatar
clockworkmonk
I'm on a horse!
Posts: 649
Joined: Fri Aug 03, 2007 12:53 am UTC
Location: Austin

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby clockworkmonk » Thu Oct 22, 2009 2:33 am UTC

But I thought only the Catholics practice confession. Am I wrong? are there any protestant religions that practice formal confession?
418 I'm a teapot

User avatar
TheGrammarBolshevik
Posts: 4878
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2008 2:12 am UTC
Location: Going to and fro in the earth, and walking up and down in it.

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby TheGrammarBolshevik » Thu Oct 22, 2009 2:37 am UTC

Some Anglicans, and I think some Lutherans. And probably lots of other little fragments, since there are so many Protestant doctrinal splits.

Oh, and don't forget the Eastern Orthodox Church, the Oriental Orthodox Churches, or the Assyrian Church of the East.
Nothing rhymes with orange,
Not even sporange.

User avatar
The Utilitarian
Posts: 935
Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 6:26 am UTC
Location: British Columbia, Canada

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby The Utilitarian » Thu Oct 22, 2009 3:44 am UTC

What we really need here on the intertubes is someone to absolve us of our memes.
Watch your back, shoot straight, conserve ammo, and never, EVER cut a deal with a dragon.
Valar morghulis; valar dohaeris.

User avatar
netcrusher88
Posts: 2166
Joined: Mon Mar 26, 2007 4:35 pm UTC
Location: Seattle

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby netcrusher88 » Thu Oct 22, 2009 4:11 am UTC

What, some kind of wetware antivirus?
Sexothermic
I have only ever made one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it. -Voltaire
They said we would never have a black president until Swine Flu. -Gears

User avatar
The Utilitarian
Posts: 935
Joined: Thu Jul 30, 2009 6:26 am UTC
Location: British Columbia, Canada

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby The Utilitarian » Thu Oct 22, 2009 4:20 am UTC

netcrusher88 wrote:What, some kind of wetware antivirus?

YES. THIS.
Watch your back, shoot straight, conserve ammo, and never, EVER cut a deal with a dragon.
Valar morghulis; valar dohaeris.

User avatar
Zeroignite
Commencing Countdown, Engines On
Posts: 686
Joined: Thu Jan 22, 2009 8:28 pm UTC
Location: Albuquerque, NM

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby Zeroignite » Thu Oct 22, 2009 5:06 am UTC

I would pay money for a wetware antivirus.
She/her/hers
Avatar sketched by Hazel / drawn by Amii
Image

User avatar
Midnight
Posts: 2170
Joined: Mon Dec 10, 2007 3:53 am UTC
Location: Twixt hither and thither. Ergo, Jupiter.

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby Midnight » Thu Oct 22, 2009 5:14 am UTC

GUYS IM FEELING LIKE THIS IS REALLY TANGENTIAL.


On another note, biscuits! What's your best biscuit-eating experience?
uhhhh fuck.

User avatar
bluebambue
An der schönen blauen Donau
Posts: 900
Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2007 5:14 am UTC

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby bluebambue » Thu Oct 22, 2009 7:22 am UTC

TheGrammarBolshevik wrote:Some Anglicans, and I think some Lutherans. And probably lots of other little fragments, since there are so many Protestant doctrinal splits.

Oh, and don't forget the Eastern Orthodox Church, the Oriental Orthodox Churches, or the Assyrian Church of the East.


I was raised Lutheran and have never heard of any of them doing confessions.

sje46
Posts: 4730
Joined: Wed May 14, 2008 4:41 am UTC
Location: New Hampshire

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby sje46 » Thu Oct 22, 2009 7:41 am UTC

Oh praise thee, Athe, goddess of wisdom, of science!
Fill my heart with your aethereal nonexistence!
General_Norris: Taking pride in your nation is taking pride in the division of humanity.
Pirate.Bondage: Let's get married. Right now.

User avatar
TheKrikkitWars
Posts: 2205
Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2008 3:08 pm UTC
Location: Bangor, Gwynedd, Gogledd Cymru
Contact:

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby TheKrikkitWars » Thu Oct 22, 2009 8:00 am UTC

TheGrammarBolshevik wrote:Oh, and don't forget the Eastern Orthodox Church, the Oriental Orthodox Churches, or the Assyrian Church of the East.


They're neither Protestant nor Catholic. Just a messenger from the La-li-lu-le-lo They're orthodox (NB. small "o")... and substantially similar to Catholosism in their rites, being that both are derived from the first organised church.
Great things are done when Men & Mountains meet,
This is not Done by Jostling in the Street.

User avatar
Amarantha
Posts: 1638
Joined: Tue Nov 27, 2007 4:56 am UTC
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby Amarantha » Thu Oct 22, 2009 9:34 am UTC

Midnight wrote:What's your best biscuit-eating experience?
Do you mean American biscuits (like scones) or British biscuits (like cookies)?

And African or European swallows?

User avatar
Moo
Oh man! I'm going to be so rebellious! I'm gonna...
Posts: 6437
Joined: Thu Aug 16, 2007 3:15 pm UTC
Location: Beyond the goblin city
Contact:

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby Moo » Thu Oct 22, 2009 9:37 am UTC

Just to address the buckets of ignorance in this thread:

Confessing your sins is in all Christian belief, you confess to God and if you truly repent He will forgive you. The Catholic church is different in that they believe humans can absolve you of sins on behalf of God.

And if you have something to confess, you should be doing that in prayer rather than a forum, it seems to me.
Proverbs 9:7-8 wrote:Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. So don't bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you.
Hawknc wrote:FFT: I didn't realise Proverbs 9:7-8 was the first recorded instance of "haters gonna hate"

JoeyJo0
Posts: 167
Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2009 12:19 pm UTC

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby JoeyJo0 » Thu Oct 22, 2009 10:36 am UTC

Hey, atleast they're not charging money for forgiveness anymore.
Ell (to Hintss) wrote:No, you can't see who has foed you. Be glad, because the list would probably be long enough to give you carpal tunnel if you tried to scroll through it.

User avatar
Plasma Man
Posts: 2035
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2008 9:27 am UTC
Location: Northampton, Northampton, Northampton middle England.

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby Plasma Man » Thu Oct 22, 2009 10:47 am UTC

And this is a good time to be getting forgiveness. Imagine: If you go to heaven this year, there'll be Stephen Gately to do some singing, Keith Floyd to do cooking and Michael Jackson playing with the kids.
Please note that despite the lovely avatar Sungura gave me, I am not a medical doctor.

Possibly my proudest moment on the fora.

User avatar
Pez Dispens3r
is not a stick figure.
Posts: 2079
Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2008 3:08 am UTC
Location: Australia
Contact:

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby Pez Dispens3r » Thu Oct 22, 2009 10:51 am UTC

Plasma Man wrote:And this is a good time to be getting forgiveness. Imagine: If you go to heaven this year, there'll be Stephen Gately to do some singing, Keith Floyd to do cooking and Michael Jackson playing with the kids.

"Because," hissed Zaphod, "you were there when your planet did the big firework."
"We have a thing on Earth ..." began Arthur.
"Had," corrected Zaphod.
"... called tact. Oh never mind."
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:I feel like you're probably an ocelot, and I feel like I want to eat you. Feeling is fun!
this isn't my cow

User avatar
Dobblesworth
Dobblesworth, here's the title you requested over three years ago. -Banana
Posts: 1429
Joined: Wed May 30, 2007 12:06 pm UTC
Contact:

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby Dobblesworth » Thu Oct 22, 2009 12:41 pm UTC

Plasma Man wrote:And this is a good time to be getting forgiveness. Imagine: If you go to heaven this year, there'll be Stephen Gately to do some singing, Keith Floyd to do cooking and Michael Jackson playing with the kids.

Don't forget Heath Ledger's offerings of mass prescription drugs for your Vicodin through to Paracetamol addictions.

User avatar
SecondTalon
SexyTalon
Posts: 26516
Joined: Sat May 05, 2007 2:10 pm UTC
Location: Louisville, Kentucky, USA, Mars. HA!
Contact:

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby SecondTalon » Thu Oct 22, 2009 12:58 pm UTC

netcrusher88 wrote:
crucialityfactor wrote:I didn't know this fora was ordained to absolve our sins.
Surely there are plenty of ULC ministers around.
Yo.
heuristically_alone wrote:I want to write a DnD campaign and play it by myself and DM it myself.
heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

User avatar
TheGrammarBolshevik
Posts: 4878
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2008 2:12 am UTC
Location: Going to and fro in the earth, and walking up and down in it.

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby TheGrammarBolshevik » Thu Oct 22, 2009 1:46 pm UTC

TheKrikkitWars wrote:
TheGrammarBolshevik wrote:Oh, and don't forget the Eastern Orthodox Church, the Oriental Orthodox Churches, or the Assyrian Church of the East.


They're neither Protestant nor Catholic. Just a messenger from the La-li-lu-le-lo They're orthodox (NB. small "o")... and substantially similar to Catholosism in their rites, being that both are derived from the first organised church.

Yes, I know... which is why I mentioned them distinctly from Catholicism and Protestantism.
Nothing rhymes with orange,
Not even sporange.

User avatar
Cynical Idealist
Posts: 1124
Joined: Mon Sep 15, 2008 10:48 pm UTC

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby Cynical Idealist » Thu Oct 22, 2009 2:26 pm UTC

Moo wrote:And if you have something to confess, you should be doing that in prayer rather than a forum, it seems to me.

Indeed.
Matthew 6 wrote: 5"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 6But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.


Edit: tag fixed.
Last edited by Cynical Idealist on Thu Oct 22, 2009 3:58 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
The internet removes the two biggest aids in detecting sarcasm:
1)The tone of voice
2)the assumption that the other person is sane
Elvish Pillager wrote:See? All the problems in our society are caused by violent video games, like FarmVille.

User avatar
gmalivuk
GNU Terry Pratchett
Posts: 26765
Joined: Wed Feb 28, 2007 6:02 pm UTC
Location: Here and There
Contact:

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby gmalivuk » Thu Oct 22, 2009 2:30 pm UTC

Zeroignite wrote:I would pay money for a wetware antivirus.

Those exist. They're called vaccines.
Unless stated otherwise, I do not care whether a statement, by itself, constitutes a persuasive political argument. I care whether it's true.
---
If this post has math that doesn't work for you, use TeX the World for Firefox or Chrome

(he/him/his)

User avatar
setzer777
Good questions sometimes get stupid answers
Posts: 2762
Joined: Sun Nov 23, 2008 9:24 am UTC

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby setzer777 » Thu Oct 22, 2009 2:58 pm UTC

bluebambue wrote:
TheGrammarBolshevik wrote:Some Anglicans, and I think some Lutherans. And probably lots of other little fragments, since there are so many Protestant doctrinal splits.

Oh, and don't forget the Eastern Orthodox Church, the Oriental Orthodox Churches, or the Assyrian Church of the East.


I was raised Lutheran and have never heard of any of them doing confessions.


I was raised Lutheran, and I remember that you *can* do a confession if you want to, but it isn't required and almost nobody does it as far as I know (also, there was a generic public confession during the service).

Ugh...now I'm remembering those services....so long and boring.....
Meaux_Pas wrote:We're here to go above and beyond.

Too infinity
of being an arsehole

User avatar
TheGrammarBolshevik
Posts: 4878
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2008 2:12 am UTC
Location: Going to and fro in the earth, and walking up and down in it.

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby TheGrammarBolshevik » Thu Oct 22, 2009 3:16 pm UTC

Nothing rhymes with orange,
Not even sporange.

User avatar
Zeroignite
Commencing Countdown, Engines On
Posts: 686
Joined: Thu Jan 22, 2009 8:28 pm UTC
Location: Albuquerque, NM

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby Zeroignite » Thu Oct 22, 2009 3:49 pm UTC

gmalivuk wrote:
Zeroignite wrote:I would pay money for a wetware antivirus.
Those exist. They're called vaccines.
Aaaand I just fell out of my chair laughing because that literally did not occur to me.
She/her/hers
Avatar sketched by Hazel / drawn by Amii
Image

User avatar
RoadieRich
The Black Hand
Posts: 1037
Joined: Tue Feb 12, 2008 11:40 am UTC
Location: Behind you

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby RoadieRich » Thu Oct 22, 2009 7:15 pm UTC

New Internation Version wrote:Leveticus 5:5: 'When anyone is guilty in any of these ways, he must confess in what way he has sinned"
1 John 1:9: If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Romans 10:10: For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.
James 5:16: Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

Every believer should confess their sins. This can be interpretted in many ways, my pastors interpret this as "confess to someone you trust", an interpretation which is encouraged by James 5:16.
73, de KE8BSL loc EN26.

User avatar
Ivora
Posts: 1088
Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2009 3:18 am UTC
Location: Wandering the Crystal Blue.

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby Ivora » Thu Oct 22, 2009 7:53 pm UTC

Oh my... I feel like crying all of a sudden. :cry:

I hope your prayers are answered.

sje46
Posts: 4730
Joined: Wed May 14, 2008 4:41 am UTC
Location: New Hampshire

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby sje46 » Thu Oct 22, 2009 7:59 pm UTC

Confessing is a pretty awesome thing, by the way. Not religiously, but psychologically. It feels really good to let go of things, to stop having to worry about what will happen and face up to it (and it usually doesn't turn out as bad as you imagine in your head). As long as it's someone you trust. It's good that some religions encourage it, and don't require you do it, especially with a religious leader you don't necessarily trust.
General_Norris: Taking pride in your nation is taking pride in the division of humanity.
Pirate.Bondage: Let's get married. Right now.

User avatar
Delalyra
Posts: 1812
Joined: Fri Aug 31, 2007 12:39 am UTC
Location: Western Mass
Contact:

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby Delalyra » Thu Oct 22, 2009 8:09 pm UTC

It's stupid when they do, though. I grew up Catholic, and I always dreaded confession, because even with the screen, the priest can still tell who you are! And as a ten-year-old, I really never had anything earthshattering to say, so it always felt fake and useless.
you may remember me from 2008 or 2009. I left for a while. I'm now sporadically back. I tumble here.

User avatar
kingofdreams
Posts: 437
Joined: Wed Dec 03, 2008 4:31 pm UTC
Location: An avatar making factory

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby kingofdreams » Thu Oct 22, 2009 8:54 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:
netcrusher88 wrote:
crucialityfactor wrote:I didn't know this fora was ordained to absolve our sins.
Surely there are plenty of ULC ministers around.
Yo.


make that two
Picard- I shall appoint you my executive officer in charge of radishes

User avatar
KallistiEngel
Posts: 444
Joined: Fri Oct 16, 2009 5:38 am UTC

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby KallistiEngel » Thu Oct 22, 2009 10:48 pm UTC

My only response upon reading this thread is this.

John 11:35: Jesus wept
Last edited by KallistiEngel on Fri Oct 23, 2009 1:47 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
I'm addicted to bad ideas, and all the beauty in this world.

User avatar
podbaydoor
Posts: 7548
Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2007 4:16 am UTC
Location: spaceship somewhere out there

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby podbaydoor » Thu Oct 22, 2009 11:17 pm UTC

Oh, the many, many times I attempted to confess my sins and repent and never felt forgiveness no matter how hard I prayed for it...I had it timed to roughly 6 months for each cycle of guilt.

But I suppose the Christian God is all-powerful and all-omnipotent, so he can forgive my becoming an atheist as a side effect of said process.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

User avatar
Maseiken
The Candylawyer
Posts: 2827
Joined: Sat May 19, 2007 11:13 am UTC

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby Maseiken » Thu Oct 22, 2009 11:19 pm UTC

sje46 wrote:Oh praise thee, Athe, goddess of wisdom, of science!
Fill my heart with your aethereal nonexistence!

Ooh, that's commandment one, right there.
"GRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWR!!!!"
(Translation: "Objection!")

Maseiken had the ball at the top of the key...

User avatar
Dhes
Posts: 125
Joined: Thu Nov 22, 2007 11:27 am UTC
Location: Netherlands
Contact:

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby Dhes » Fri Oct 23, 2009 8:08 am UTC

frywater wrote:If anyone else would like to beg "the Lord" for forgiveness, I've created this thread for you to do so.

That’s awesome, I didn’t know “The Lord” read XKCD. What’s his forum name?
I’m dyslexic, so I tent tot pull things way out of contacts.
Image

User avatar
Surgery
Posts: 628
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2007 6:22 am UTC
Location: Western New York

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby Surgery » Fri Oct 23, 2009 8:22 am UTC

kingofdreams wrote:
SexyTalon wrote:
netcrusher88 wrote:
crucialityfactor wrote:I didn't know this fora was ordained to absolve our sins.
Surely there are plenty of ULC ministers around.
Yo.

make that two
Three. Though I am remiss that I have never had a chance to use my powers, though I think I have my "Letter of Good Standing" somewhere.

User avatar
e^iπ+1=0
Much, much better than Gooder
Posts: 2065
Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2009 9:41 am UTC
Location: Lancaster

Re: Lord forgive me...

Postby e^iπ+1=0 » Fri Oct 23, 2009 8:24 am UTC

I prefer the Jewish Days of Atonement version of confession. As in, you go and apologize to the people you wronged. Really it's a bit more complicated than that, but that's the gist of it.
poxic wrote:You, sir, have heroic hair.
poxic wrote:I note that the hair is not slowing down. It appears to have progressed from heroic to rocking.

(Avatar by Sungura)


Return to “General”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 21 guests