Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

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Lunboks
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Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby Lunboks » Wed Nov 04, 2009 7:35 pm UTC

Hmmmm.

Problem: The toilet bowl in my new apartment ain't at 100% anymore.

The Usual: I go out and get a brush, and clean it. Then leave the brush in its stand, leave that behind the toilet. The usual, ta da. However...

Problem With That: boys pee standing up, it's a fact. And the brush gets hit with microscopic (or sometimes not) quantities several times a day. That's gross. I don't want that.

So what's the workaround? I guess I could leave it in the bathroom cabinet, but that's kind of nasty too when you think about it. So I got nothin. Nothin' but a dirty toilet bowl. I'd put it somewhere else on the bathroom floor besides behind the john, but I wouldn't want the shame of my guests wondering why that is. I'm not hanging it from my ceiling like it's the freaking Brush Of Damocles, either. Good God.

I figured if the xkcd forum hivemind couldn't solve this, it's unsolvable.
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby Aetius » Wed Nov 04, 2009 7:38 pm UTC

Ronald Reagan proposed a Strategic Pee Initiative back in the eighties that would create a "shield" in space that would protect America from Soviet "urine". I suggest you go with that idea. Shield your brush, clean your bowl.

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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby Armadillo Al » Wed Nov 04, 2009 7:39 pm UTC

Duct tape it to the ceiling.

Or duct tape it to the wall, completely covering the brush with the tape. Therefore, the tape bears the brunt of the microscopic droplets, protecting the brush.
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby Ocean » Wed Nov 04, 2009 7:43 pm UTC

This?

Place the opening to the wall, droplets hit the box thingy, ???, profit?

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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Wed Nov 04, 2009 7:48 pm UTC

Lunboks wrote:Hmmmm.

Problem: The toilet bowl in my new apartment ain't at 100% anymore.

The Usual: I go out and get a brush, and clean it. Then leave the brush in its stand, leave that behind the toilet. The usual, ta da. However...

Problem With That: boys pee standing up, it's a fact. And the brush gets hit with microscopic (or sometimes not) quantities several times a day. That's gross. I don't want that.

So what's the workaround? I guess I could leave it in the bathroom cabinet, but that's kind of nasty too when you think about it. So I got nothin. Nothin' but a dirty toilet bowl. I'd put it somewhere else on the bathroom floor besides behind the john, but I wouldn't want the shame of my guests wondering why that is. I'm not hanging it from my ceiling like it's the freaking Brush Of Damocles, either. Good God.

I figured if the xkcd forum hivemind couldn't solve this, it's unsolvable.


They make brushes what are covered entirely by the stand.

Also, pee sitting down ffs.

And clean your bathroom more.
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby You, sir, name? » Wed Nov 04, 2009 8:32 pm UTC

This thread reminds me that I, too, have a dragon to slay in the bathroom. THANK YOU VERY MUCH! I had successfully suppressed that fact for a week now.

As for your question: Use rubber gloves when you operate it?

Meaux_Pas wrote:Also, pee sitting down ffs.


Real men pee standing. Hands free. While headbanging.
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby lowbart » Wed Nov 04, 2009 8:34 pm UTC

If I pee sitting down it reflects off the inside of the bowl and sprays all over my ass. No thanks.
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Wed Nov 04, 2009 8:36 pm UTC

two previous posters: ur both doin it wrong


actually I posit that any man who urinates in an indoor outhouse and can't keep his stream where it belongs ought to sit down to pee- and the fact that you do this whole standing and peeing thing without wiping everything in there down once a day grosses me out like woah.

Also I live with three males. I have yet to see pee on the floor. So clearly, it can be done.
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby Lunboks » Wed Nov 04, 2009 9:29 pm UTC

I don't see how the shieldy object pictured protects the all-important handle...

Well damn, y'all! I didn't want to have to wear rubber gloves just to swab the toilet bowl or buy a full-coverage brush holder thingie (which I could clean pretty quick with the shower head, I'm cool with that), but I guess there's no way around it.

Meaux_Pas wrote:I live with three males. I have yet to see pee on the floor. So clearly, it can be done.


You better believe invisible-to-the-naked-eye pee mist lands on everything. Onto the floor, to the tank part, to the window, to the wall. Next time you clean under the lid, notice how much pee you wipe off. That's all mist, baby; I (and I'm guessing most guys) accidentally hose down the lid underside about once a decade.
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby Decker » Wed Nov 04, 2009 9:32 pm UTC

Urine is sterile from what I hear.
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby Levi » Wed Nov 04, 2009 9:35 pm UTC

Only when it comes out. Stuff grows on it real quick.

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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby doogly » Wed Nov 04, 2009 10:20 pm UTC

lowbart wrote:If I pee sitting down it reflects off the inside of the bowl and sprays all over my ass. No thanks.

I am a bit shocked that Meaux has a better grasp on boy peeing than you do. Now I am going to have to find some way to kick my respect for her up another notch, and the notches are running out.
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby JayDee » Wed Nov 04, 2009 11:31 pm UTC

Meaux_Pas wrote:actually I posit that any man who urinates in an indoor outhouse and can't keep his stream where it belongs ought to sit down to pee wear diapers.
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby Axman » Wed Nov 04, 2009 11:40 pm UTC

If you shoot center-of-bowl, it splashes very, very little, and what does is usually mostly water. Splashing occurs when you're shooting for the porcelain in an attempt to piss quietly. Pissing on porcelain is like trying to fill the pet bowl with a pint glass from six feet up, it's just retarded. Which means that YES, urinals are RETARDED.

Urinals: no other human invention is designed to spray you with your urine while standing in someone else's.

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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby You, sir, name? » Thu Nov 05, 2009 12:07 am UTC

Sorry for the crappy quality. My wacom isn't plugged in, and GIMP is refusing to run.

But basically, here's your problem:
whathappens.png
whathappens.png (8.54 KiB) Viewed 5531 times
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Thu Nov 05, 2009 12:23 am UTC

Lunboks wrote:I don't see how the shieldy object pictured protects the all-important handle...

Well damn, y'all! I didn't want to have to wear rubber gloves just to swab the toilet bowl or buy a full-coverage brush holder thingie (which I could clean pretty quick with the shower head, I'm cool with that), but I guess there's no way around it.

Where's the emoticon for dumbfounded?
Jesus FUCK. Wear gloves when you clean something gross. Clean often and clean less crap up when you're doing it. Mitigate grossness before you damn get to grossness.
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Meaux_Pas wrote:I live with three males. I have yet to see pee on the floor. So clearly, it can be done.


You better believe invisible-to-the-naked-eye pee mist lands on everything. Onto the floor, to the tank part, to the window, to the wall. Next time you clean under the lid, notice how much pee you wipe off. That's all mist, baby; I (and I'm guessing most guys) accidentally hose down the lid underside about once a decade.

I'm well aware of the mist. Science's response is Lysol Disinfecting Wipes.

SCIENCE
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby '; DROP DATABASE;-- » Thu Nov 05, 2009 12:52 am UTC

You don't wash your hands after cleaning a toilet? O.o
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Thu Nov 05, 2009 12:54 am UTC

NOT BEFORE THE VICTORY SANDWICH
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby Cynical Idealist » Thu Nov 05, 2009 1:48 am UTC

Meaux_Pas wrote:
Meaux_Pas wrote:I live with three males. I have yet to see pee on the floor. So clearly, it can be done.


You better believe invisible-to-the-naked-eye pee mist lands on everything. Onto the floor, to the tank part, to the window, to the wall. Next time you clean under the lid, notice how much pee you wipe off. That's all mist, baby; I (and I'm guessing most guys) accidentally hose down the lid underside about once a decade.

I'm well aware of the mist. Science's response is Lysol Disinfecting Wipes.

SCIENCE

SCIENCE indeed.

Actually, I don't use Lysol Disinfecting Wipes, I use some generic store brand. But still: SCIENCE! IT CLEANS THINGS!
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby TheNextCaesar » Thu Nov 05, 2009 2:13 am UTC

You, sir, name? wrote:
But basically, here's your problem:
Spoiler:
whathappens.png


ur doin it rong
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby TheSkyMovesSideways » Thu Nov 05, 2009 2:35 am UTC

I have a related question. How, for the sake of Raptor Jesus, can anyone use a toilet brush and then do anything other than throw it out? YOU ARE USING IT TO WIPE UP SHIT, PEOPLE, NOTHING USED FOR THAT PURPOSE SHOULD BE CONSIDERED REUSABLE.

Now, people who keep toilet brushes obviously don't intend on them being single use (of else they'd keep a whole bunch of them), and as such, the presence of a toilet brush kind of creeps me out. I can't help but wonder whether there's a whole lot of shit stuck to the underside of it, but really don't want to know for sure.

TL;DR: Toilet brushes = gross. Find some other way to clean your toilet.
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby Surgery » Thu Nov 05, 2009 2:44 am UTC

.
Last edited by Surgery on Sun Nov 22, 2009 6:29 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby TheSkyMovesSideways » Thu Nov 05, 2009 2:48 am UTC

Surgery wrote:Uh, after you use a toilet brush you're supposed to clean it out by putting cleaning solution in the (now clean) toilet and flushing the toilet around the brush a few times. I still wouldn't touch it, but it's not dirty enough to not just stick back in the holster. Also, if your wiping shit off the bottom of your toilet something's wrong.

Not sufficient in my eyes! (Incidentally, "in my eyes" is an uncomfortable expression to use given this subject matter.)

As for using them to wipe off shit, people will do that if they've left stains down the side of the bowl and there's a brush handy. Not saying I advocate it, but past evidence has indicated that's what people do. :?
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby Surgery » Thu Nov 05, 2009 2:52 am UTC

.
Last edited by Surgery on Sun Nov 22, 2009 6:29 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby Kulantan » Thu Nov 05, 2009 2:55 am UTC

Hmmm, congratulations lots of people from this thread have just been added to the "list of people I won't time travel with" for the reason of "would be too freaked out by cesspools and other ancient sanitation".
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Thu Nov 05, 2009 3:09 am UTC

TheSkyMovesSideways wrote:
Surgery wrote:Uh, after you use a toilet brush you're supposed to clean it out by putting cleaning solution in the (now clean) toilet and flushing the toilet around the brush a few times. I still wouldn't touch it, but it's not dirty enough to not just stick back in the holster. Also, if your wiping shit off the bottom of your toilet something's wrong.

Not sufficient in my eyes! (Incidentally, "in my eyes" is an uncomfortable expression to use given this subject matter.)

As for using them to wipe off shit, people will do that if they've left stains down the side of the bowl and there's a brush handy. Not saying I advocate it, but past evidence has indicated that's what people do. :?


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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby TheSkyMovesSideways » Thu Nov 05, 2009 3:29 am UTC

Meaux_Pas wrote:STOP POOPING IN YOUR OWN EYES


Obligatory.
Spoiler:
toilet_goggles.jpg
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toilet_goggles.jpg (108.24 KiB) Viewed 5284 times
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby guyy » Thu Nov 05, 2009 3:34 am UTC

Kulantan wrote:Hmmm, congratulations lots of people from this thread have just been added to the "list of people I won't time travel with" for the reason of "would be too freaked out by cesspools and other ancient sanitation".


You need an extra pair of quotation marks around that last word.

That is, unless you think "throwing your poo out the window like you just reverse-evolved into a monkey" is sanitary.

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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby KallistiEngel » Thu Nov 05, 2009 3:41 am UTC

Leave it where it is, use disposable latex or vinyl or (god-forbid) polyethylene gloves when handling it. Ta-da! Problem solved.
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby Outchanter » Thu Nov 05, 2009 3:42 am UTC

Ooh, I know this one! You have to ferry the toilet brush across first, that way it can't attack the toilet and the boy can't pee on it. Then you return for the boy, ferry him across, pick up the brush, take that back, swap it for the toilet, take the toilet across, then return for the brush.

Alternatively, just pee on the grass. It probably fertilizes it.

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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby TheNextCaesar » Thu Nov 05, 2009 5:17 am UTC

TheSkyMovesSideways wrote:
Meaux_Pas wrote:STOP POOPING IN YOUR OWN EYES


Obligatory.
Spoiler:
toilet_goggles.jpg

I really thought that you were going to post tub-girl.
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby Chicostick » Thu Nov 05, 2009 5:34 am UTC

Axman wrote:If you shoot center-of-bowl, it splashes very, very little, and what does is usually mostly water. Splashing occurs when you're shooting for the porcelain in an attempt to piss quietly. Pissing on porcelain is like trying to fill the pet bowl with a pint glass from six feet up, it's just retarded. Which means that YES, urinals are RETARDED.

Urinals: no other human invention is designed to spray you with your urine while standing in someone else's.


Personally I hate the trough that they make us use at stadiums. Seriously, a 12 foot long open trench with no water in it is pretty much the worst place to urinate on the planet.

Also, Why are there urinals that don't have courtesy walls between them? Is it so hard to have a little wall there so I don't have Mr. McPower-hose splashing all over me? Wearing flip-flops into a bathroom is basically saying goodbye to clean feet. That, and I don't like having Gramps over there staring at my junk.

However, there are some new urinals in a few buildings on campus that are waterless, and shaped in such a way that there's literally no splashing (as long as you aim at the handy little bee picture that serves as a target). They also did the courtesy of putting in walls between them. They are easily a step ahead in not-getting-piss-on-my-shoes technology.

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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby lowbart » Thu Nov 05, 2009 5:50 am UTC

You, sir, name? wrote:Sorry for the crappy quality. My wacom isn't plugged in, and GIMP is refusing to run.

But basically, here's your problem:
whathappens.png


I tend to lean more or less directly over the toilet and aim for the water, not leave 2 feet of intervening floor space like that.
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby TheSkyMovesSideways » Thu Nov 05, 2009 1:21 pm UTC

TheNextCaesar wrote:I really thought that you were going to post tub-girl.

I love that you looked anyway. :lol:
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby Goldstein » Thu Nov 05, 2009 1:37 pm UTC

What the fuck?
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby the_bandersnatch » Thu Nov 05, 2009 2:48 pm UTC

I think the best solution is to forego a toilet brush altogether, and in it's stead simply pour petrol (gasoline for you Septics) into the toilet bowl, followed by a lit match. Do this once a week for a thoroughly sterile experience.
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby Goldstein » Thu Nov 05, 2009 3:07 pm UTC

Nah. You need to stop going to the toilet altogether. Anything less is simply barbaric.

Edit: You already used that word, making my post read weirdly.
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby singlefin » Thu Nov 05, 2009 3:09 pm UTC

the_bandersnatch wrote:I think the best solution is to forego a toilet brush altogether, and in it's stead simply pour petrol (gasoline for you Septics) into the toilet bowl, followed by a lit match. Do this once a week for a thoroughly sterile experience.


No. That leaves a tiny, yet finite possibility that a homoeopathic amount of evil germs may still remain! In my toilet! Unthinkable! I urinate into an opening made in the side of a small nuclear reactor taken from an old soviet submarine and then rinse thoroughly - internally as well - with HF. It's the only way to be sure! Think of the children!

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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby You, sir, name? » Thu Nov 05, 2009 6:01 pm UTC

lowbart wrote:
You, sir, name? wrote:Sorry for the crappy quality. My wacom isn't plugged in, and GIMP is refusing to run.

But basically, here's your problem:
whathappens.png


I tend to lean more or less directly over the toilet and aim for the water, not leave 2 feet of intervening floor space like that.


The problem I attempted to illustrate is that if you greatly over-estimate the length of your own penis, it's easy to think you are in fact above over the toilet when you are not.
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Re: Solve The Toilet-Brush/Boy Problem

Postby bigglesworth » Thu Nov 05, 2009 6:41 pm UTC

Axman wrote:If you shoot center-of-bowl, it splashes very, very little, and what does is usually mostly water. Splashing occurs when you're shooting for the porcelain in an attempt to piss quietly. Pissing on porcelain is like trying to fill the pet bowl with a pint glass from six feet up, it's just retarded. Which means that YES, urinals are RETARDED.

Urinals: no other human invention is designed to spray you with your urine while standing in someone else's.


A properly designed urinal hardly splashes back at all.

A urinal allows for easy peeing out of unzipped flies and with any amount of heavy coat/backpack on.

In a public toilet I do not want my bare skin touching something other people have sat/peed on, which I cannot then wash easily. Washing my hands is very easy. Since they are the vehicle with which infection of other things would spread, they are the key area to wash.
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