Tributes to xkcd

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

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popple
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Tributes to xkcd

Postby popple » Fri May 11, 2007 3:58 pm UTC

Sorry if this has already been done, I searched but couldn’t find anything about it.

I got really bored yesterday and made this

I was wondering what you people thought. Feel free to modify it or whatever and post anything you have done.

EDIT: quick, get it before it's deleted :P, (or alternatively don’t let it be deleted by commenting, but hey do what you want)
Last edited by popple on Fri May 11, 2007 5:06 pm UTC, edited 2 times in total.

ZeroSum
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Postby ZeroSum » Fri May 11, 2007 4:11 pm UTC

It's a shame they're going to delete it as a joke.

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hotaru
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Postby hotaru » Fri May 11, 2007 4:16 pm UTC

ZeroSum wrote:It's a shame they're going to delete it as a joke.

obviously because they're raptors.

Gilly
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Postby Gilly » Fri May 11, 2007 4:26 pm UTC

While I commend you for your efforts, such a freely available guide detailing a human's survival strategies would only play into the claws of a cunning Raptor, no? It is even conceivable that one may try to edit it with deliberately false information! Never trust a Wiki when Raptors are concerned! For that matter, how do we know that YOU yourself are not a Raptor, "popple" - if that IS your real name!?
Image

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MFHodge
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Postby MFHodge » Fri May 11, 2007 4:46 pm UTC

When you suspect raptors are near, start eating as much steak as you can. The extra body mass will probably help you somehow.


I think we are too late. Raptors r in ur wiki, makin ur editz.

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Castaway
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Postby Castaway » Sat May 12, 2007 7:23 am UTC

Ahahahahahaha. It's cute that they give us the honor of at least thinking we're superior.
You've just lost twenty dollars and my self respect.

Rat wrote: so i sprinted back down this hill like a fucking mountain goat

popple
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Postby popple » Sat May 12, 2007 8:58 am UTC

Someone ought to write one on "how to have a sense of humour" or something, or at least "how not to be a raptor"
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popple.. from snap, crack, and popple... thats the line isn't it? isn't it?

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Rat
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Postby Rat » Sat May 12, 2007 9:18 am UTC

i didnt read that much, but step one definitely shouldnt be something saying "follow the following steps"... sort of... irrelevant.. whats the word... redundant... step two should be step one for sure.

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The LuigiManiac
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Postby The LuigiManiac » Sat May 12, 2007 3:57 pm UTC

Rat wrote:i didnt read that much, but step one definitely shouldnt be something saying "follow the following steps"... sort of... irrelevant.. whats the word... redundant... step two should be step one for sure.


Agreed. Anyone who needs to be told to follow the following steps would not follow step one in the first place.
Spoiler:
THE CAKE IS A 3.141592653589...!

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Andrew
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Postby Andrew » Sat May 12, 2007 4:45 pm UTC

The LuigiManiac wrote:
Rat wrote:i didnt read that much, but step one definitely shouldnt be something saying "follow the following steps"... sort of... irrelevant.. whats the word... redundant... step two should be step one for sure.


Agreed. Anyone who needs to be told to follow the following steps would not follow step one in the first place.


I think the same thing about adverts that say "read the label" or "read the instructions" or whatever.

popple
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Postby popple » Sat May 12, 2007 7:30 pm UTC

I apologise about my more presentation skills, but it’s all changed now.
Image

popple.. from snap, crack, and popple... thats the line isn't it? isn't it?

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Solt
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Postby Solt » Sun May 13, 2007 6:45 pm UTC

lol, I love the comments on the talk page. You guys are awesome.
"Welding was faster, cheaper and, in theory,
produced a more reliable product. But sailors do
not float on theory, and the welded tankers had a
most annoying habit of splitting in two."
-J.W. Morris

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LE4dGOLEM
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Postby LE4dGOLEM » Sun May 13, 2007 7:11 pm UTC

Sondra C said:
On 01:14, 13 May 2007
support deletion
Reply to Sondra C


84.159.80.211 said:
On 10:19, 13 May 2007
Short comments like "support deletion" only show raptors trying to type with their claws
Reply to 84.159.80.211
Image Une See Fights - crayon super-ish hero webcomic!
doogly wrote:It would just be much better if it were not shitty.

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Matt_B
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Postby Matt_B » Sun May 13, 2007 10:02 pm UTC

LE4dGOLEM wrote:
Sondra C said:
On 01:14, 13 May 2007
support deletion
Reply to Sondra C


84.159.80.211 said:
On 10:19, 13 May 2007
Short comments like "support deletion" only show raptors trying to type with their claws
Reply to 84.159.80.211


It was so obvious I just had to write that.

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blarg(!)
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Postby blarg(!) » Sun May 13, 2007 11:52 pm UTC

I added my support in the discussion.

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aisling
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Postby aisling » Mon May 14, 2007 12:16 am UTC

I am the raptor attack "survivor". Thank you for the guide, popple.

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LE4dGOLEM
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Postby LE4dGOLEM » Tue May 15, 2007 5:23 pm UTC

aisling wrote:I am the raptor attack "survivor". Thank you for the guide, popple.


Hope your arm gets better quickly!
Image Une See Fights - crayon super-ish hero webcomic!
doogly wrote:It would just be much better if it were not shitty.

popple
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Postby popple » Tue May 15, 2007 8:27 pm UTC

Firstly: HAHA to Belial's post on the discussion page thing.
Secondly: Thanks to the people who have opposed the deletion. I wonder what the people who want it deleted think?

I dont want it to be deleted!!!
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popple.. from snap, crack, and popple... thats the line isn't it? isn't it?

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Belial
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Postby Belial » Tue May 15, 2007 8:52 pm UTC

Hahah. One of the purple-text-y guys is arguing for nondeletion as well.

Sorry to come down in favor of deletion, it was just funnier that way.
addams wrote:A drunk neighbor is better than a sober Belial.


They/them

popple
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Postby popple » Wed May 16, 2007 6:28 pm UTC

NOOO! Its gone... I.. I.. hold me...
Image

popple.. from snap, crack, and popple... thats the line isn't it? isn't it?

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The LuigiManiac
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Postby The LuigiManiac » Wed May 16, 2007 6:30 pm UTC

I saved it to a .txt file.
Spoiler:
THE CAKE IS A 3.141592653589...!

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apricity
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Postby apricity » Wed May 16, 2007 10:25 pm UTC

Post it here! I missed it!
LE4d wrote:have you considered becoming an electron

it takes just a little practice to learn to be
(she/her/hers)

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The LuigiManiac
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Postby The LuigiManiac » Wed May 16, 2007 10:42 pm UTC

Here you go.

Code: Select all

It is a well known fact among experts that survival of Raptor attacks is impossible; one can only hope to prolong the length of time that one survives (This important fact must always be in the mind of the escapee) There are, however, a number of techniques to increase survival time and they are listed below.
Steps

   1. Run. It is simple, there is no point hanging around trying to 'make yourself big', raptors are far too clever for this.
   2. Go through doors. Although Raptors are not stopped by doors, they are slowed by them (see Tips section for more).
   3. Keep Running. Raptors are more intelligent than you think, it is vital you do not try to hide. This will only to a (far-more) premature demise.
   4. Use your brain against the Raptor, while intelligent, sometimes the Raptor-pack have weaknesses (for example: one may have a broken leg and therefore cannot run as fast).


Tips

    * Before you buy a house always look at it as a stronghold. While Raptors are determined and if they want you dead, you will be soon, they might always just be out on the prowl, so security is a must: secure outer doors are a must. High bathroom windows are probably secure, but large picture windows are a velociraptor entry point.
    * Have a good understanding about basic mathematics, this is vital if you want to be able to calculate the efficiency of a path, or how long you will survive.
    * When going through doors, it is important to note that the first door will take 5 minutes (approx.) for the Raptor to get through, then halve the time for each subsequent door.
    * Raptors are clever, some may even wear top hats to try and fool you, DO NOT trust them.


Warnings

    * Raptors have been known to reach speeds of 25m/s and may exceed this depending on their mood. They may also accelerate at up to 4m/s^2. BEWARE.
    * NEVER trust a raptor, no matter what it says, it will probably be a trap.


Things You'll Need

    * A Strong house
    * A good mind
    * Running shoes
    * Courage
    * Knowledge of the only thing that you can be certain of: whatever happens, whatever you think, sometime in the future a raptor WILL kill you, you cannot stop them.
Spoiler:
THE CAKE IS A 3.141592653589...!


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