Some Favorite Quotes (merged: Post-a-quote)

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

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Account20151023
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby Account20151023 » Sat Nov 22, 2008 7:46 pm UTC

Upon waking up next to a close friend, both of us ass naked (girl, by the way), and only a faint memory of what we actually did drunkenly the night before:

Oh SHITCOCK.

-me.

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i_ll_winn
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby i_ll_winn » Sat Nov 22, 2008 8:40 pm UTC

"My life is worthless, how I affect others is priceless"- Me

My probable last words
"Trust me, it is NOT poisonous."
or
"It's not that dangerous at all."
There is no enemy anywhere, only idiots with weapons.
My life is worthless, how I affect others is priceless.
Spoiler:
Image

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22/7
I'm pretty sure I have "The Slavery In My Asshole" on DVD.
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby 22/7 » Mon Nov 24, 2008 3:44 pm UTC

BomanTheBear wrote:Upon waking up next to a close friend, both of us ass-naked (girl, by the way), and only a faint memory of what we actually did drunkenly the night before:

Oh SHITCOCK.

-me.
Oh, I guess it doesn't always work...
Totally not a hypothetical...

Steroid wrote:
bigglesworth wrote:If your economic reality is a choice, then why are you not as rich as Bill Gates?
Don't want to be.
I want to be!

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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby TheKrikkitWars » Mon Nov 24, 2008 5:39 pm UTC

"For someone with such a singularly boring voice, I've had a very interesting life" - on myself

"Oh Fuck I'm on fire, God it burns, put it out, I'm on fucking fire" - on my lab coat catching fire
Great things are done when Men & Mountains meet,
This is not Done by Jostling in the Street.

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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby Izawwlgood » Mon Nov 24, 2008 5:43 pm UTC

An attractive if misguided young woman once drunkenly leaned on me and told me as she played with the strap of her shirt, "You know, you'll be disapointed, I don't sleep with anyone I haven't dated for at least six months" to which I roused myself from the blissful fumes of sake, dusted cactus twigs from my hair, and said to her, "Then we're out of luck, because I don't date anyone I haven't been sleeping with for at least six months."

We boinked.
... with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandalled feet.

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Revek
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby Revek » Mon Nov 24, 2008 8:42 pm UTC

Levi wrote:"Imagine the intelligence of the average person... Now imagine that half of them are dumber than that." - Not me.


That's George Carlin. I'd recognize that line anywhere. 8)

A couple of things that I've said over the years come to mind...

"Shut the fuck up! Go the fuck home! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY DOORWAY!!!" ~ me to my sister-in-law and her boyfriend
"So, how 'bout them homosexuals? I hear they want to get married. Probably on your front lawn. Bet you'll love that. Freakin' sodomites everywhere." ~ me to my wife's homophobic parents over Christmas dinner (this started a hilarious argument btw)
"So how much ya think I should take? Screw it, I'll just eat the whole bag." ~ me right before eating nearly 6 grams of freshly picked shrooms on an empty stomach...bad idea
"Let me out of the goddamned car! I gotta take a piss in that Coke machine!" ~ me later that same night (this...among other things...had to be explained to me the next day as I had no clear memory of the evening's events)
"Ya know, my job would be a lot easier to deal with if the people here wouldn't constantly slap me across the face with their own stupidity." ~ me to a coworker when asked how my day was going
"Jesus... This town really needs more handgun violence. Maybe then the cops would leave us the hell alone." ~ me to my friends as we were being pulled over

If you want something that sums up my world view, these two quotes do a pretty good job:
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. ~ Albert Einstein
Life is just one damned thing after another. ~ Elbert Hubbard

As for some kind of creed that I live my life by? See my signature.
Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds - Bob Marley

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Hellaphunt
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby Hellaphunt » Mon Nov 24, 2008 10:07 pm UTC

"Some of the most painful things in life are those experienced vicariously through the one you love." - Me
Many of man's greatest achievements were largely inspired by a woman.

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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby Kung Fu Fury » Mon Nov 24, 2008 10:48 pm UTC

'I could not give a damn if you win or lose this, as long as you try your best and give it your all' - My college tutor

'If you leave a martial arts lesson without any cuts of bruises, you've had a crap lesson!' - My old Kung Fu teacher

'Pick yourself up and stop being such a pussy!' - My brother a few years back. A sentance which believe it or not, has got me through alot of crap in the past.

'I'd rather be an idiot and having fun than be bored out of my own genius skull' - Yahtzee, Zero Punctuation.

All these are quotes that I live by; and now a few of my own:

'I don't mind if poeple have a lack of ambition, but are you really cool about living such a boring fucking life?'

'Patience is overrated; If you spend your whole life waiting, do the things you were waiting for really make up for the amount of time you lost?'

'Congratulations! You are a chav! please line up for your pot noodle and cheap jewelry...'

'That wasn't a fight, that was a pussified pushing contest.'

'pff UFO's pictures. I Could make one with a mobile phone and a hubcap, and I could still get 1000's of morons to think its real.'

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Midnight
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby Midnight » Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:13 am UTC

so we were playing left 4 dead, me and my friend, and I was at 50 health, doin' ok, and we walk into a safe area before the last crazy fight. There's a healthpack, annd I have a healthpack, and I'm about to go on (after ridiculing my friend for using an M16 over the autoshotgun) and he says "here, use your healthkit and pick up that one"
and with my 3AM logic, I think up an incredibly witty remark:
"You learn that in college? Cause that's some college shit right there"

which is not funny, even at 3AM--so we proceeded to laugh for about 15 minutes at how.. unwitty it was.

edit: additionally, because i'm too much a gentleman to post twice so quickly:

"I have learned two truths in sixteen years. One, is that everyone is false, full of deceit, never tells the truth, and you will never know everything about any one person. Two, is that hats solve problems."--me
Last edited by Midnight on Tue Nov 25, 2008 2:02 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
uhhhh fuck.

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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby AiyyashNalayak » Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:18 am UTC

Life is a series of worst case scenarios - me

- Bit blue maybe, but felt true at some point.

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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby josephoenix » Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:19 am UTC

I think the most favorite thing i've said is in my signature. Its the opening line of a poem i wrote.
I speak the truth that shakes the silent night.

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parkaboy
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby parkaboy » Wed Nov 26, 2008 4:28 pm UTC

Had one in my sig for a little bit: If Gibson is the grandfather of cyberpunk, Neuromancer is the cane he shakes at young whippersnappers like Neal Stephenson.
Image

Back in our day we had to walk uphill both ways through the snow on fire without feet to get fucking terrible relationship advice from disinterested and socially maladjusted nerds. Belial

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Mercat
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby Mercat » Thu Nov 27, 2008 2:27 am UTC

A sort of personal motto I got from a friend: "Rule number one: Don't be dumb."
HEEEEAAAAATHUUUUUUUS

If you need to get a hold of me I'd recomment just PMing me, as I come and go in phases, it seems.

semper ubi sub ubi

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Sasha
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby Sasha » Fri Nov 28, 2008 11:31 pm UTC

"No wonder it's not baking! The oven's not on!"
-Me, on cake.
"That triangle is some freaky shit, sir."
-Me, on a triangle to my math teacher.
"Whoooah! That light is tripping balls!"
-Me, on a fluorescent light that went out five minutes later.
Marbas wrote:I'll usually jump from one strange thought to the next, such gems as: "I wonder if bears get depressed", "I think the sun is unnecessarily smug" and so on.

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StickFigureLover69
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby StickFigureLover69 » Sun Nov 30, 2008 12:36 am UTC

"I may be a guy, but I want more than just sex. I want insanely hot, dirty sex""
Me on sex

"I get more head than shampoo!"
Me, once again being a perv

"Mac + Cheese = The Shit"
Me on Mac and Cheese

"Haha! I have a stalker and you don't"
Haha, I have a stalker and you don't

"Somebody masturbates a lot"
My female friend, good guess

Now for more serious quotes

"God loves me and thats all I need"
My same friend

"I want something good to die for
To make it beautiful to live."
Queens of the Stone Age

"Love is giving someone the power to break you, but trusting them not to"
???

"Nothing is more beautiful a sight, then two ugly people who are perfect for each other in every way"
I may have thought of this myself, but I may have heard it somewhere

"Two in harmony surpasses one in perfection"
Persona 3

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Immortal_Z
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby Immortal_Z » Sun Nov 30, 2008 1:07 am UTC

To a Religious person who just said to me the usual anti-suicide line: "Suicide is a temporary solution to a permanent problem, according to your damned book."
An Angel who did not so much Fall as Saunter Vaguely Downwards

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Hellaphunt
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby Hellaphunt » Sun Nov 30, 2008 7:43 am UTC

StickFigureLover69 wrote:
"Love is giving someone the power to break you, but trusting them not to"
???


Beautiful
Many of man's greatest achievements were largely inspired by a woman.

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scikidus
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby scikidus » Sun Nov 30, 2008 2:24 pm UTC

"The universe is a figment of its own imagination."

I usually attribute it to Douglas Adams, who, in HHGTTG, wrote:

The small groups of monks who had taken up hanging around the major research institutes singing strange chants to the effect that the Universe was only a figment of its own imagination were eventually given a street theatre grant and went away.

- Book 3, Chapter 7
I took the "the Universe was only a figment of its own imagination", and swapped the "was only" for an "is."
Happy hollandaise!

"The universe is a figment of its own imagination" -Douglas Adams

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StickFigureLover69
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby StickFigureLover69 » Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:33 pm UTC

Hellaphunt wrote:"Some of the most painful things in life are those experienced vicariously through the one you love." - Me

Hellaphunt you are now sigged

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screech
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby screech » Mon Dec 01, 2008 12:48 am UTC

I forgot to post this one; it contradicts my other one.

"Just 'cause you feel it doesn't mean it's there." - Radiohead
alitheiapsis wrote:HEY NOW DON'T TALK SHIT ABOUT BRONTOSAURUSES

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Gordon
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby Gordon » Mon Dec 01, 2008 1:15 am UTC

Wether or not this thread is intended for quotes by my own person, here's one of daveans

(8:13:28 PM) davean: I charge mroe to undo things

Getting you pregnant is free, the abortion will cost you.
Meaux_Pas wrote:
RealGrouchy wrote:I still remember the time when Gordon left. I still wake up in the middle of the night crying and screaming his name.
I do that too, but for an entirely different reason.
RealGrouchy wrote:
Gordon wrote:How long have I been asleep?!
Our daughter is in high school now.

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Immortal_Z
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby Immortal_Z » Mon Dec 01, 2008 1:59 am UTC

"I'm here to help you up, to catch you when you fall, for you to lean on when you're weak, and laugh with when you're strong. Lean on me, and we'll make it through, and when we both fall over, we'll drag each other across the finish line. I'll never leave you behind."
An Angel who did not so much Fall as Saunter Vaguely Downwards

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Hellaphunt
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby Hellaphunt » Mon Dec 01, 2008 2:39 am UTC

StickFigureLover69 wrote:
Hellaphunt wrote:"Some of the most painful things in life are those experienced vicariously through the one you love." - Me

Hellaphunt you are now sigged


HA! It's an honor!

Gordon wrote:Wether or not this thread is intended for quotes by my own person, here's one of daveans

(8:13:28 PM) davean: I charge mroe to undo things

Getting you pregnant is free, the abortion will cost you.


It was intended to be your OWN personal ones, but it's pleasant to get input either way.
Many of man's greatest achievements were largely inspired by a woman.

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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby darwinwins » Mon Dec 01, 2008 1:31 pm UTC

(i was tired)

waitress: how do you want your eggs?
me: happy.

/i was very very tired
"if you only read the books that everyone else is reading, you can only think what everyone else is thinking. that's the world of hicks and slobs. " - haruki murakami

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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby maninblack » Mon Dec 01, 2008 5:10 pm UTC

It was at a poker game sometime long after midnight......I don't remember the context, but I remember saying....

"The real question is how do you get the coffee in the turtle."
addams wrote:It was like a game of Rugby and I was the Puck. Yeah. I was taking a beating and I was in the wrong game.
roband wrote:If this is a serious question, the answer is no.
If it's a philosophical one, I have no idea.

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StickFigureLover69
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby StickFigureLover69 » Tue Dec 02, 2008 11:36 am UTC

After I told my female friend I was upset, so she told me to
"Think about me naked then your be happy. It happens alot."

This was before I told her that to be irrisistable she should
"come into school tommorow wearing nothing but shoes and a smile."

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3fj
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby 3fj » Tue Dec 02, 2008 12:59 pm UTC

Andy: "Yeah this is such a kid thing to do. 'Oh look! its snowing! lets put it all in one place!'
Me: "And then we guard it..."
Andy: "The pile?"
Me: "All glory to THE PILE!"
Andy: "We shall defend it using THE PILE ITSELF"
Me: "LOOK! THE PILE DWINDLES!"
Everything's dead until it's alive. Man will exist, and then he will die. Just take the ride!

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Gojoe
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby Gojoe » Tue Dec 02, 2008 1:12 pm UTC

3fj wrote:Andy: "Yeah this is such a kid thing to do. 'Oh look! its snowing! lets put it all in one place!'
Me: "And then we guard it..."
Andy: "The pile?"
Me: "All glory to THE PILE!"
Andy: "We shall defend it using THE PILE ITSELF"
Me: "LOOK! THE PILE DWINDLES!"
This actually made 'lol'.
michaelandjimi wrote:Oh Mr Gojoe
I won't make fun of your mojo.
Though in this fora I serenade you
I really only do it to aid you.
*Various positive comments on your masculinity
That continue on into infinity*

Feeble accompanying guitar.

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Rogue5_jm
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby Rogue5_jm » Wed Dec 03, 2008 2:44 am UTC

"People are stupid"

All People.

Me, you, the pope, the president, stephen hawking, everyone.

Everyone is stupid, in their own way.

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Zak
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby Zak » Wed Dec 03, 2008 3:32 am UTC

"It's all just fucking boxes."
*waggles eyebrows*

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Pit
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby Pit » Wed Dec 03, 2008 5:16 am UTC

"It sounded like a good idea at the time"
The only thing better than bacon is more bacon on it, potentially sprinkled with bacon salt.

Xoco Mint / Pit

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Shakleton
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby Shakleton » Wed Dec 03, 2008 9:19 pm UTC

From today, following me being a complete smartass (as always):
Shakleton wrote:I like splitting hairs almost as much as I like splitting atoms!


That pun actually works better in German...
mikekearn wrote:You even have an appropriate shirt. Excellent.

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kinigget
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby kinigget » Thu Dec 04, 2008 9:53 am UTC

I'm actually surprised, both that it took me this long to think of this, and that no one else did before now

Adam Savage wrote:I reject your reality and substitute my own!
The Mighty Thesaurus wrote:I can tell from his word choice that he is using his penis to type.

Steax wrote:I think the courts are kinda busy right now. Something about cake and due process.

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Amnesiasoft
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby Amnesiasoft » Thu Dec 04, 2008 11:33 am UTC

"It's not reinventing the wheel, it's building a better mousetrap."

This is a general response to a friend of mine...at least that's what he tells me to stop re-inventing the wheel when I program stuff that already exists for no real reason other than to just do it :P

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Snowfrost
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby Snowfrost » Thu Dec 04, 2008 4:07 pm UTC

I thought of this when I started thinking about the dichotomy of vengeance and justice:

"Vengeance should go to those who are blameless"
Vengeance should go to those who are blameless. - Me

Horace wrote:"A wise man in times of peace prepares for war."

aido179
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby aido179 » Thu Dec 04, 2008 5:18 pm UTC

hey guys (new-->)
my one quote that is worth mentioning...

"so what if your falling off the cliff...the view is great on the way down"
kind of metaphorical..as i have not yet fallen off a cliff o.0

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Binks
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby Binks » Thu Dec 04, 2008 5:52 pm UTC

"The Rape Train does not discriminate."

It occurred to me in a dream and through my life I have applied it to many situations.

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Shakleton
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby Shakleton » Thu Dec 04, 2008 7:16 pm UTC

One of my favourite quotes in the recent past:

Nine out of ten voices in my head tell me that I am not insane. The tenth plays the melody of tetris.

Not from me though.
mikekearn wrote:You even have an appropriate shirt. Excellent.

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eristic
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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby eristic » Fri Dec 05, 2008 12:05 am UTC

I've always had a meek outlook in people.


"Ultimately, everyone will fail you."

"It is only in our greatest strife that we learn we fight alone"
Clerria wrote:
eristic wrote:Do you speak Greek? ;)

'maybe'

Haikus are simple
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator

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Re: Your Own Personal Quotes

Postby Lt Greatsocks » Fri Dec 05, 2008 1:05 am UTC

"Baltimore has more black people than people."
Fuck you, I'm the Crowing.


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