Time Travel Jokes/Puns

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Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby pernero » Wed Feb 17, 2010 3:42 am UTC

Niche topic, I know. But post any time travel jokes, as horrible or unfunny as they may be.

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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby Vohu Manah » Wed Feb 17, 2010 3:48 am UTC

"I just witnessed time travel! Dammit, it was a $500 watch."-Vohu Manah, ten seconds ago tomorrow.
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby Vieto » Wed Feb 17, 2010 3:55 am UTC

Time Travelers Unite! Yesterday!
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby kaimason1 » Wed Feb 17, 2010 4:06 am UTC

Time travels when you chuck a watch.
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby Krong » Wed Feb 17, 2010 4:13 am UTC

Stolen from Woody Paige on Around the Horn today:

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The answer to the question "What’s wrong with the world?" is just two words: "I am." -- G. K. Chesterton (attributed)
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby Antimony-120 » Wed Feb 17, 2010 4:35 am UTC

"The Association of Time-Travellers has postponed this weeks meeting to yesterday"
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby Gravitas Shortfall » Wed Feb 17, 2010 7:31 am UTC

There once was a lady named Bright
Who traveled much faster than light
She departed one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night
We come from people who brought us up to believe that life is a struggle. And if you should ever feel really happy, be patient. This will pass.
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby embolalia » Sat Feb 20, 2010 9:53 pm UTC

"Please help me, Doctor, I keep seeing into the future!"
"Ah. And when did this start?"
"Next Tuesday afternoon."
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby Sungura » Sun Feb 21, 2010 12:31 am UTC

I have this shirt:
Image
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby Ivora » Sun Feb 21, 2010 1:35 am UTC

Sungura wrote:I have this shirt:
Image


Oh me yarm! I HAVE TO HAVE IT! :shock:
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby Sungura » Sun Feb 21, 2010 3:44 am UTC

It's from Type Tees and it's not currently in print.
Zarq wrote:Would you rather fight a Sungura-sized spider or 1000 spider-sized Sunguras?
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby Ivora » Sun Feb 21, 2010 6:15 am UTC

Sungura wrote:It's from Type Tees and it's not currently in print.


?!

... So where else can I get it? eBay? :shock:
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby boring bore » Sun Feb 21, 2010 6:44 am UTC

Would this shirt also be relevant?
Image
Guys you should totally register for this and join the xkcd team! Rath358 started us off and we're kinda small so the more people who join us, the better for our team and, hopefully, for humanity!
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby Vieto » Sun Feb 21, 2010 2:23 pm UTC

Ivora wrote:
Sungura wrote:It's from Type Tees and it's not currently in print.


?!

... So where else can I get it? eBay? :shock:


it's initial release is next tuesday :P
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby SlyReaper » Mon Feb 22, 2010 3:31 pm UTC

Vieto wrote:
Ivora wrote:
Sungura wrote:It's from Type Tees and it's not currently in print.


?!

... So where else can I get it? eBay? :shock:


it's initial release is next tuesday :P


By my recollection, it was delayed until next wednesday.
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby Cithoge » Mon Feb 22, 2010 6:15 pm UTC

"Who's there?"
"The Time Traveller"
"The Time Traveller who?"
*Knock, knock*
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby She » Mon Feb 22, 2010 8:09 pm UTC

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
She speaks in the third person
So she can forget that she's me
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby Dason » Wed Feb 24, 2010 5:13 am UTC

SlyReaper wrote:
Vieto wrote:
Ivora wrote:
Sungura wrote:It's from Type Tees and it's not currently in print.


?!

... So where else can I get it? eBay? :shock:


it's initial release is next tuesday :P


By my recollection, it was delayed until next wednesday.

No it was delayed until next monday.
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby Vieto » Wed Feb 24, 2010 5:16 am UTC

Dason wrote:
SlyReaper wrote:
Vieto wrote:
Ivora wrote:
Sungura wrote:It's from Type Tees and it's not currently in print.


?!

... So where else can I get it? eBay? :shock:


it's initial release is next tuesday :P


By my recollection, it was delayed until next wednesday.

No it was delayed until next monday.

it was indefinitely delayed until 65.5 million years ago, and all the stock will be vapourised (except for Amy's shirt)
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby solarion » Wed Feb 24, 2010 6:38 am UTC

To get to the other side.
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby sillybear25 » Wed Feb 24, 2010 6:44 pm UTC

solarion wrote:To get to the other side.


Why did the chicken cross the road?
This space intentionally left blank.
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby Josephine » Wed Feb 24, 2010 7:31 pm UTC

sillybear25 wrote:
solarion wrote:To get to the other side.


Why did the chicken cross the road?


tell me a joke.
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby Mother Superior » Wed Feb 24, 2010 7:55 pm UTC

"What do we want?"
"Time travel!"
"When do we want it?"
"Relatively speaking, now!"
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby SecondTalon » Wed Feb 24, 2010 11:13 pm UTC

nbonaparte wrote:
sillybear25 wrote:
solarion wrote:To get to the other side.


Why did the chicken cross the road?


tell me a joke.
So, I was thinking of becoming a stand-up comedian.
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby The Utilitarian » Wed Feb 24, 2010 11:16 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:
nbonaparte wrote:
sillybear25 wrote:
solarion wrote:To get to the other side.


Why did the chicken cross the road?


tell me a joke.
So, I was thinking of becoming a stand-up comedian.

So little SecondTalon, what do you want to be when you grow up?
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby Vieto » Wed Feb 24, 2010 11:58 pm UTC

The Utilitarian wrote:
SexyTalon wrote:
nbonaparte wrote:
sillybear25 wrote:
solarion wrote:To get to the other side.


Why did the chicken cross the road?


tell me a joke.
So, I was thinking of becoming a stand-up comedian.

So little SexyTalon, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Welcome back to Jeopardy! SexyTalon edition!
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby Pez Dispens3r » Thu Feb 25, 2010 12:22 am UTC

On the subject of t-shirts, I saw someone wearing this next Tuesday:

Image
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby The Utilitarian » Thu Feb 25, 2010 1:12 am UTC

While cool, I can't help but think of the Tardis as the ultimate deLorian garage!
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby PM 2Ring » Sat Feb 27, 2010 12:59 pm UTC

This thread reminds me of an old joke about a guy who was 1/3 Russian and 2/3 Irish...
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby BoomFrog » Mon Mar 01, 2010 2:35 am UTC

PM 2Ring wrote:This thread reminds me of an old joke about a guy who was 1/3 Russian and 2/3 Irish...


Ok, so you can't be 1/3rd anything you can only be a fraction that is a power of 2. But this involves time travel, so...

Spoiler:
If he had a kid with a Russian the kid would be 2/3 Russian and 1/3rd Irish, and his kid could marry someone Irish and give birth to him. Ok, your story checks out.
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby SecondTalon » Mon Mar 01, 2010 5:31 am UTC

Vieto wrote:
The Utilitarian wrote:
SexyTalon wrote:
nbonaparte wrote:
sillybear25 wrote:
solarion wrote:To get to the other side.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
tell me a joke.
So, I was thinking of becoming a stand-up comedian.
So little SexyTalon, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Welcome back to Jeopardy! SexyTalon edition!
So.. when is the commerical break over?
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby Vieto » Mon Mar 01, 2010 5:36 am UTC

SecondTalon wrote:
Vieto wrote:
The Utilitarian wrote:
SexyTalon wrote:
nbonaparte wrote:
sillybear25 wrote:
solarion wrote:To get to the other side.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
tell me a joke.
So, I was thinking of becoming a stand-up comedian.
So little SexyTalon, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Welcome back to Jeopardy! SexyTalon edition!
So.. when is the commerical break over?

Remember! Deloreans are only $29.99! (flux capacitors not included)
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby Turtle_ » Wed Mar 03, 2010 3:11 am UTC

Vieto wrote:
SexyTalon wrote:
Vieto wrote:
The Utilitarian wrote:
SexyTalon wrote:
nbonaparte wrote:
sillybear25 wrote:
solarion wrote:To get to the other side.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
tell me a joke.
So, I was thinking of becoming a stand-up comedian.
So little SexyTalon, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Welcome back to Jeopardy! SexyTalon edition!
So.. when is the commerical break over?

Remember! Deloreans are only $29.99! (flux capacitors not included)

We'll be back after these messages!
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby -.Mateo.- » Wed Mar 03, 2010 3:26 am UTC

BoomFrog wrote:
PM 2Ring wrote:This thread reminds me of an old joke about a guy who was 1/3 Russian and 2/3 Irish...


Ok, so you can't be 1/3rd anything you can only be a fraction that is a power of 2. But this involves time travel, so...

Spoiler:
If he had a kid with a Russian the kid would be 2/3 Russian and 1/3rd Irish, and his kid could marry someone Irish and give birth to him. Ok, your story checks out.


So in order for him to exist, he has to exist first? it's like Fry's tattoo all over again!
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby Xeio » Wed Mar 03, 2010 4:07 am UTC

She wrote:Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
The professor in my Artifical Intelligence Language Understanding class loves this one. "Do time flies like arrows? Or is it flies like an arrow time?"
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby Bobber » Sat Mar 06, 2010 12:52 am UTC

Use your stopwatch to time how fast I can run a quarter mile.
Time flies like an arrow. Time flies in the way an arrow would time. Presumably poorly.
Too bad fruit isn't a verb. To fruit?
I'm too tired to tell if this post is coherent.
I don't twist the truth, I just make it complex.
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby CombustibleLemons » Sat Mar 06, 2010 12:54 am UTC

Bobber wrote:Use your stopwatch to time how fast I can run a quarter mile.
Time flies like an arrow. Time flies in the way an arrow would time. Presumably poorly.
Too bad fruit isn't a verb. To fruit?
I'm too tired to tell if this post is coherent.

it's not.
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby Antimony-120 » Sat Mar 06, 2010 1:16 am UTC

Amishdemon wrote:
Bobber wrote:Use your stopwatch to time how fast I can run a quarter mile.
Time flies like an arrow. Time flies in the way an arrow would time. Presumably poorly.
Too bad fruit isn't a verb. To fruit?
I'm too tired to tell if this post is coherent.

it's not.


Yes it is, you're just reading it out of order!
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby xmrsmoothx » Sat Mar 06, 2010 2:41 am UTC

"We've travelled tthrough a time machine! We have to find out where we are... or WHEN we are!"
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Re: Time Travel Jokes/Puns

Postby pernero » Sat Mar 06, 2010 4:24 pm UTC

xmrsmoothx wrote:"We've travelled tthrough a time machine! We have to find out where we are... or WHEN we are!"


I was waiting for this one. I am now at ease with this topic.
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