Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby Giant Speck » Sun Sep 27, 2009 6:43 am UTC

lulzfish wrote:And I bet that detox is some kind of military-strength laxative.

Nope. It's just watered-down juice.
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby lulzfish » Sun Sep 27, 2009 8:29 am UTC

Giant Speck wrote:
lulzfish wrote:And I bet that detox is some kind of military-strength laxative.

Nope. It's just watered-down juice.


You're right, actual products are too expensive for a detox scam. Even regular laxatives would cost too much.

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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby Ouch.jars » Sun Sep 27, 2009 11:16 am UTC

No, the "Uniqueometer" and "What Does Ur Name Mean" are TV ads. I've now noticed that they always appear one after the other.
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby Giant Speck » Sun Sep 27, 2009 4:01 pm UTC

lulzfish wrote:
Giant Speck wrote:
lulzfish wrote:And I bet that detox is some kind of military-strength laxative.

Nope. It's just watered-down juice.


You're right, actual products are too expensive for a detox scam. Even regular laxatives would cost too much.

That's why you down an entire bottle of magnesium citrate. It's cheap anOMG THE POOP.
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby Briareos » Tue Sep 29, 2009 2:10 am UTC

Barry Glazer says, "Insurance companies, you can urinate on some of the people some of the time, but you can't urinate on all the people all of the time. We're going to court." Then the announcer says, "Barry Glazer: legal advocate for the injured, disabled -- and urinated upon," but you can tell he's not really happy about having taken this voiceover gig.
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby Giant Speck » Wed Sep 30, 2009 11:21 pm UTC

Binder & Binder commercials and their stupid cowboy-hatted lawyer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQuLEoi_bQI

1. Why does the narrator feel he has to whisper?
2. Look at the fake look of concern on the lawyer's face. :roll:
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby sleeply » Wed Sep 30, 2009 11:30 pm UTC

Giant Speck wrote:Binder & Binder commercials and their stupid cowboy-hatted lawyer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQuLEoi_bQI

1. Why does the narrator feel he has to whisper?
2. Look at the fake look of concern on the lawyer's face. :roll:

I've seen this many times and every time I wonder why he's wearing that cowboy hat. Most people probably wouldn't take the advice of a cowboy-hatted lawyer, much less trust their legal woes to him.
Last edited by sleeply on Fri Oct 30, 2009 7:19 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby Waldo » Wed Sep 30, 2009 11:51 pm UTC

I keep seeing one for some weight-loss cookies ("ZOMG ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS EAT COOKIES AND YOU'LL LOSE WEIGHT!" :roll: ). They say their cookies are special because they're made with "natural, proven ingredients like wheat, fruits, vegetables, and dairy". Um, aren't those what pretty much all cookies are made from?
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby Maseiken » Thu Oct 01, 2009 12:18 am UTC

Waldo wrote:I keep seeing one for some weight-loss cookies ("ZOMG ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS EAT COOKIES AND YOU'LL LOSE WEIGHT!" :roll: ). They say their cookies are special because they're made with "natural, proven ingredients like wheat, fruits, vegetables, and dairy". Um, aren't those what pretty much all cookies are made from?

No! Most Cookies are made of evil!

Delicious, crumbly, chocaltey eviiiiiiiiiil....
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby McCaber » Thu Oct 01, 2009 2:40 am UTC

sleeply wrote:I've seen this many times and every time I wonder why he's wearing that cowboy hat. Most people probably wouldn't take the advice of a cowboy-hatted lawyer, much less trust their legal woes to him.

Well, it kind of depends on the cowboy. If it were this guy, I'd trust him to be completely awesome.
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby Armadillo Al » Thu Oct 01, 2009 1:46 pm UTC

Waldo wrote:I keep seeing one for some weight-loss cookies ("ZOMG ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS EAT COOKIES AND YOU'LL LOSE WEIGHT!" :roll: ). They say their cookies are special because they're made with "natural, proven ingredients like wheat, fruits, vegetables, and dairy". Um, aren't those what pretty much all cookies are made from?

Yeah, but they've proven that wheat and fruit are natural!
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby Random832 » Thu Oct 01, 2009 2:02 pm UTC

Waldo wrote:I keep seeing one for some weight-loss cookies ("ZOMG ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS EAT COOKIES AND YOU'LL LOSE WEIGHT!" :roll: ). They say their cookies are special because they're made with "natural, proven ingredients like wheat, fruits, vegetables, and dairy". Um, aren't those what pretty much all cookies are made from?


You're sure that's not them saying that that is what makes them special among weight-loss products?

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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby PhoenixEnigma » Fri Oct 02, 2009 6:54 am UTC

Armadillo Al wrote:
Waldo wrote:I keep seeing one for some weight-loss cookies ("ZOMG ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS EAT COOKIES AND YOU'LL LOSE WEIGHT!" :roll: ). They say their cookies are special because they're made with "natural, proven ingredients like wheat, fruits, vegetables, and dairy". Um, aren't those what pretty much all cookies are made from?

Yeah, but they've proven that wheat and fruit are natural!

Or that they've proven that they're ingredients at all. Because you never know.
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby Surgery » Fri Oct 02, 2009 7:32 am UTC

Armadillo Al wrote:
Waldo wrote:I keep seeing one for some weight-loss cookies ("ZOMG ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS EAT COOKIES AND YOU'LL LOSE WEIGHT!" :roll: ). They say their cookies are special because they're made with "natural, proven ingredients like wheat, fruits, vegetables, and dairy". Um, aren't those what pretty much all cookies are made from?

Yeah, but they've proven that wheat and fruit are natural!
There is nothing natural about fruit in cookies.

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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby Giant Speck » Fri Oct 02, 2009 7:42 am UTC

Surgery wrote:
Armadillo Al wrote:
Waldo wrote:I keep seeing one for some weight-loss cookies ("ZOMG ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS EAT COOKIES AND YOU'LL LOSE WEIGHT!" :roll: ). They say their cookies are special because they're made with "natural, proven ingredients like wheat, fruits, vegetables, and dairy". Um, aren't those what pretty much all cookies are made from?

Yeah, but they've proven that wheat and fruit are natural!
There is nothing natural about fruit in cookies.

Oatmeal raisin?
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby H2SO4 » Fri Oct 02, 2009 8:11 am UTC

Giant Speck wrote:
Surgery wrote:
Armadillo Al wrote:
Waldo wrote:I keep seeing one for some weight-loss cookies ("ZOMG ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS EAT COOKIES AND YOU'LL LOSE WEIGHT!" :roll: ). They say their cookies are special because they're made with "natural, proven ingredients like wheat, fruits, vegetables, and dairy". Um, aren't those what pretty much all cookies are made from?

Yeah, but they've proven that wheat and fruit are natural!
There is nothing natural about fruit in cookies.

Oatmeal raisin?

Zing! Though raisins aren't fruit. They're the old wrinkly corpses of a fruit, after the fruit-spirit has left the body.
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby phlip » Fri Oct 02, 2009 12:16 pm UTC

"Treat your cat to chef-inspired cuisine!"

There was more to the ad, but I couldn't hear it over my own laughter...

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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby Giant Speck » Fri Oct 02, 2009 1:35 pm UTC

H2SO4 wrote:
Giant Speck wrote:
Surgery wrote:
Armadillo Al wrote:
Waldo wrote:I keep seeing one for some weight-loss cookies ("ZOMG ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS EAT COOKIES AND YOU'LL LOSE WEIGHT!" :roll: ). They say their cookies are special because they're made with "natural, proven ingredients like wheat, fruits, vegetables, and dairy". Um, aren't those what pretty much all cookies are made from?

Yeah, but they've proven that wheat and fruit are natural!
There is nothing natural about fruit in cookies.

Oatmeal raisin?

Zing! Though raisins aren't fruit. They're the old wrinkly corpses of a fruit, after the fruit-spirit has left the body.

Well, it's one of the closest things to fruit that you're going to get in a cookie and it still be normal.
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby Manial » Fri Oct 02, 2009 2:38 pm UTC

A line in a dog food ad:
"Look at all those real ingredients"
...

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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby Grop » Fri Oct 02, 2009 2:55 pm UTC

And yet it would be awesomer if it had imaginary ingredients.

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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Fri Oct 02, 2009 3:35 pm UTC

"Wheat germ, ash, onion meal, glucose/fructose... phlogiston?"

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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby lulzfish » Fri Oct 02, 2009 5:37 pm UTC

Once you put something in food, doesn't it automatically become an ingredient?
It shouldn't be possible to have "fake" ingredients, except for maybe bugs, which are unintended ingredients.

"Chef-inspired cuisine"
means that a cat food marketer saw a chef, and was inspired to make a line of cat food marketed on the concept of chefs existing.

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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby cephalopod9 » Sat Oct 10, 2009 8:36 am UTC

Don't you just love when they say "made with real fruit" as though they can't make actual claims to the product containing said fruit, it's "made with" it.
H2SO4 wrote:Zing! Though raisins aren't fruit. They're the old wrinkly corpses of a fruit, after the fruit-spirit has left the body.
They're just humiliated grapes.
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby H2SO4 » Sat Oct 10, 2009 10:21 am UTC

cephalopod9 wrote:Don't you just love when they say "made with real fruit" as though they can't make actual claims to the product containing said fruit, it's "made with" it.

As in the apples and oranges helped the process? I sure hope they're getting paid fair wages.
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby The Scyphozoa » Sun Oct 11, 2009 4:04 am UTC

No, silly, they're helping so they don't have to go into the food and be eaten.
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby H2SO4 » Sun Oct 11, 2009 8:19 am UTC

Oh, so slave labor. Where's the UN on this??
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby Walter.Horvath » Tue Oct 13, 2009 12:23 am UTC

Pretty much any radio ad. "You'd never intentionally give your kids the flu", right? But if you don't use our product, "you could be doing exactly that." :x

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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby sir2you » Tue Oct 13, 2009 2:07 am UTC

"Serving up quality, taste, convenience, and innovation like no other ketchup." - Heinz

Yeah, I'll believe that. Like no other ketchup.... I could make cat-vomit-sup and it'd be like no other too.

Oh, and how about those coke Zero ads... "Tastes just like coke!" I'm calling BULL on that one. Coke is disgustingly sweet and with fake sugar it is disgustingly sweet with an awful aftertaste.
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby PhoenixEnigma » Tue Oct 13, 2009 3:02 am UTC

sir2you wrote:"Serving up quality, taste, convenience, and innovation like no other ketchup." - Heinz

Yeah, I'll believe that. Like no other ketchup.... I could make cat-vomit-sup and it'd be like no other too.


I'll second this notion. Their easy squeeze bottles might be vaguely innovative, but they are neither convenient nor easy to squeeze.
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby Briareos » Tue Oct 13, 2009 3:10 am UTC

I want to smack somebody every time a commercial tells me that I or my family "deserves" something.
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby SecondTalon » Tue Oct 13, 2009 3:19 am UTC

Walter.Horvath wrote:Pretty much any radio ad. "You'd never intentionally give your kids the flu", right? But if you don't use our product, "you could be doing exactly that." :x

I would. Kids need a healthy immune system.
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby Walter.Horvath » Tue Oct 13, 2009 3:31 am UTC

SecondTalon wrote:
Walter.Horvath wrote:Pretty much any radio ad. "You'd never intentionally give your kids the flu", right? But if you don't use our product, "you could be doing exactly that." :x

I would. Kids need a healthy immune system.

The choice of words suggests (more than subtly) that if you don't buy their product, you will intentionally give your kids the flu.

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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby Armadillo Al » Wed Oct 14, 2009 7:52 pm UTC

Saw an ad the other day for Pizza Hut, where they mention they now have an iPhone app that allows you to order a pizza directly from your phone!

...you know, as opposed to using your iPhone to call the damn Pizza Hut.
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby Ubik » Wed Oct 14, 2009 9:05 pm UTC

Remember that vibrating exercise thing from some past page? Wanted to try it, but thought that it doesn't look like it is for guys and you're male? Worry no more, now there is one for men too!

Here's a commercial for it - well, actually a "remixed" version, though the changes are very obvious. It's actually pretty much the original with some added effects to cause an implication overflow. And you don't even need to give more views to the official video. I'm not sure if it should be considered NSFW.

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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby Briareos » Wed Oct 14, 2009 9:07 pm UTC

Armadillo Al wrote:Saw an ad the other day for Pizza Hut, where they mention they now have an iPhone app that allows you to order a pizza directly from your phone!

...you know, as opposed to using your iPhone to call the damn Pizza Hut.
Some of us hate talking to people, okay?
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby lulzfish » Wed Oct 14, 2009 9:34 pm UTC

Briareos wrote:
Armadillo Al wrote:Saw an ad the other day for Pizza Hut, where they mention they now have an iPhone app that allows you to order a pizza directly from your phone!

...you know, as opposed to using your iPhone to call the damn Pizza Hut.
Some of us hate talking to people, okay?


And enjoy making "apps" that do one thing, that a website could probably do better. If only websites weren't so 2008..

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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby Sir_Elderberry » Wed Oct 14, 2009 9:36 pm UTC

I can think of additional benefits.

-More clear communication. I don't know about the app, but if it has a standardized form for entering orders, it may be less ambiguous than vocal communication.
-Not all apps are for iPhones. Some of us are iPod Touch owners.
-You wouldn't need to know the number for the Pizza Hut, possibly anywhere in the world if it has the functionality to search for the nearest one.
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby Giant Speck » Fri Oct 16, 2009 1:58 am UTC

Armadillo Al wrote:Saw an ad the other day for Pizza Hut, where they mention they now have an iPhone app that allows you to order a pizza directly from your phone!

...you know, as opposed to using your iPhone to call the damn Pizza Hut.

I prefer to order my pizza online. If Pizza Hut would actually recognize my address, I'd probably use this app.
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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby GhostWolfe » Fri Oct 16, 2009 2:36 am UTC

Yeah, I hate phones, so I order online too. An app like that would have come in handy for ordering pizzas while gaming at someone else's place, so when you ask them for the delivery address, you just type it in, instead of looking like an idiot to the person taking your call.

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Re: Logical fallacies/douchebaggery in commercials.

Postby vslayer » Fri Oct 16, 2009 4:57 am UTC

There is a radio ad here which starts off with a(fictitious) story about someone hiring a cheap electrician who wired their house wrong and burned it down, this is then followed by "It may not cost you any more to use a master electrician, but it could cost you a lot more if you don't"

translated from covering-our-arse-with-words-like-"may"-and-"could": "there is a slight chance that we are - without our knowledge - cheaper than another electrician, and there is a possibility that another electrician may do it incorrectly, although we offer no assurance that we do it 100% correctly either."


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