xkcd

by **Oregonaut** » Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:07 pm UTC

Last night's dream was remarkable only in that when I woke up my heart was pounding like I had run 10 miles at a full sprint. I was fighting myself. Every move I made was mirrored exactly, so nothing actually landed. Punches were met with an exact placement of a fist. I couldn't get anywhere. Very odd.

by **SlyReaper** » Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:12 pm UTC

Oregonaut wrote:Last night's dream was remarkable only in that when I woke up my heart was pounding like I had run 10 miles at a full sprint. I was fighting myself. Every move I made was mirrored exactly, so nothing actually landed. Punches were met with an exact placement of a fist. I couldn't get anywhere. Very odd.

Are you sure you weren't attacking an actual mirror?

by **Oregonaut** » Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:26 pm UTC

I do not have any mirrors in my room. They disrupt my sleep. Unless you mean in my dream, at which point, no, unless the mirror rotated with me, and had no glare or dust... Possible, I guess.

by **emceng** » Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:50 pm UTC

Ok, so I had a dream about playing hockey. Nothing unusual, just playing hockey, then the goalie went to make a save, and I saw that he had huge claws for feet. Like these claws were 6 inches long, and round - almost more like horns.

by **Chandani** » Wed Feb 16, 2011 4:51 pm UTC

I had a dream where there was this girl who kept on doing bad stuff to her stomach and always hurt herself but never listened to the doctors and continued doing it for all her life.
It was like a documentary-style dream. With subtitles!

Apparently she had to keep getting emulsions to her stomach or something like that.

by **Midnight** » Wed Feb 16, 2011 10:47 pm UTC

all i'm remembering now is that I had to be sent to the future so I could jump off a crane into the port of LA so a group of (tiny) yellow space jellyfish could devour my flesh in order for me to save the world in the past. also I had superpowers. i took some notes, when I remembered to.
It was something like, the gods had lost their power in modern society, and I needed to do shit to get it back for them, by... making metaphors or something? I had to eat cobwebs to tell spider stories like Anansi, I had to get eaten by birds (getting my whole body devoured was a recurring theme...) in order to bring back... the titans & prometheus, I assume.
I lived in my friend's mother's house but it was like an old british warship, on it's side, and there were a lot of stained glass windows. And in the backyard I collected all these trees and feathers to get the birds to tear me apart so I could save the birds.
My sister was like a potter, but it wasn't stupid, it was like, she could make anything happen by making it happen in her pottery. Like anything. If I recall, she was the one that figured out how to send me in the future so I could jump in the bay to get the space jellyfish to absorb me. And... they absorbed me solely so I could get the power to go into the past and change things (?)
There was also a part when I was covered in spiders after eating the cobwebs so I could talk to the spiders.

Mostly, I remember swan diving into the glowing yellow cloud underneath the water.

Shit was absolutely MAD. Neil Gaiman novel right there.

by **Ambermutt** » Thu Feb 17, 2011 12:55 am UTC

My dreams can be really cool sometimes. In the last few days, I've had 3 dreams that were really vivid, and when I was having them, kind of like action movies (with even less plot). Here's the first, the other 2 are spoilered because of total length.

The first I was in a house whose yard was fenced around by a glass wall, there were crowds outside and I was under the impression it was a sort of competition/reality show. 3 other people were with me. In a sort of last-man-standing sort of thing, the last person alive would have their college education paid in full, but we had no weapons. We talked and agreed to just find a way to escape, but I knew one of the guys was setting traps. I watched another guy be led into the traps (certain parts of the house were set up), and then led the other guy into the house, knowing the traitor would chase us, and deliberately led the non-traitorous guy into a part of the house with traps. He died, and I think I escaped. [IRL, I'm applying to college. Apparently I'm more worried about costs than I thought]

Spoiler:

by **sir2you** » Thu Feb 17, 2011 4:48 am UTC

I was water skiing... Then Jaws came after me... No old animatronic Jaws, but a sleek predator slightly faster than the motorboat I was towed behind. The lake turned into a shopping mall and I kept running from Jaws. Jaws could swim through anything solid in the shopping mall. Its dorsal fin rose out of the tile and left a wake behind just as if it were water. It could swim up escalators and support columns. It was attracted to vibrations so I had to be light on my feet. Several times I narrowly avoided being caught. The worst part was when I was running down a ramp and had to leap over a railing just in front of snapping teeth.

Lately I've been hitting my snooze button a lot so I don't remember my dreams.

by **thorgold** » Thu Feb 17, 2011 5:40 am UTC

Last night was pretty fuzzy, but one bit was distinctive. I was standing in front of a mirror, and suddenly I shattered it and my opposite was still there. Then, we started fighting, but every time my angle of perspective changed (I dream in 3rd person?) the room kept changing - a warehouse, empty white space, my house. Then, he disappeared, and I wound up in a wrecked, burning car in the middle of a blizzard. I stumbled out and fell into the snow before waking up.

EDIT - 3 months later: Jesus Christ, I don't remember this at all.

by **Promicin** » Thu Feb 17, 2011 2:18 pm UTC

I was eating candy. I suppose they were supposed to be Every Flavor Beans, but they were shaped like Sour Patch Kids. Each candy had a beautifully panted card telling you its flavor, and some had descriptions etched right on the candy. One spicy reddish-pink one was sausage and pepperoni flavor, and its description made a penis joke. I try really hard to find the mayonaisse-flavored one, but I can't.

by **emceng** » Thu Feb 17, 2011 2:57 pm UTC

I had one bad one, but I don't remember what happened, other than I sucked at doing something. For another one - I was driving, and got pulled over by a cop. It turns out the cop was this really short, cute blond girl - wearing a Planet Hollywood t-shirt. She was being really hard assed, searching everything, grilling me on stuff. I had a suitcase in my backseat she wanted to look at. I was in my back seat, then noticed it wasn't a suitcase, it was my camera bag. Then all of a sudden she was sitting next to me, and we started to kiss. Right when I was going for the second kiss, I woke up

by **podbaydoor** » Thu Feb 17, 2011 4:10 pm UTC

I dreamed about a girl serial killer. She would make arbitrary lists of people she didn't like, and then lure them in and kill them with her super powers. Her best friend, a large Mexican dude, could fly. Eventually he had to notify the police, warn the other students, and fight the girl without making her angry, because he knew she would destroy and kill him too if she was angry. Eventually she was arrested and locked up in a super secure facility, but by the time I woke up, she was already working on seducing one of the guards and I woke up afraid that she would succeed and escape again. I hate how my brain never lets me keep a happy ending.

by **Menacing Spike** » Thu Feb 17, 2011 10:34 pm UTC

Something gave me a wish. I decided for a copy of my mind to appear for every living person, get an accurate assessment of their personality/traits judge them, and decide if they should live or not.
40% of earth's population vanished. I was both astonished by me surviving and the low number of people dying.
Then I met with That Girl and her boyfriend had died. She wanted to know why, so I summoned my copy that killed him for the copy to tell her why, but then he was too disoriented by the resurrection and started moping around about the nature of conscientiousness instead of answering the question. That Girl started crying, and then me and my copy strangled each-other in shame.
What a pleasant way of waking up!

by **PAstrychef** » Fri Feb 18, 2011 1:30 am UTC

I was back in Antarctica, at McMurdo. It had the look of a science-fiction story, with tall buildings that glowed, and big hovercraft that moved silently. I was still the head baker and I was having conversations with the head of food services that I have had in my head before. It was like nothing had changed at all since I was last on the Ice, and I was remembering just why I haven't applied to go back. But it was a glorious day-huge, deep blue sky, penguins marching across the ice, and I was happy to be in Antarctica-just not with my job.

by **emceng** » Fri Feb 18, 2011 1:50 pm UTC

I was going to get some sort of surgery. They were going to cut me open around my stomach. I somehow was motioning that the table I was laying on was tilted towards my feet. They adjusted it to be more like a dentist's chair. Then I had to go to the bathroom. So I was walking to the bathroom, but for some reason I was all hunched over and my leg was injured.

by **The EGE** » Sat Feb 19, 2011 12:50 am UTC

Just woke up from a three-and-a-half hour nap. Fever dreams + Fahrenheit 451 = jsdbrruzbjbrfbjzhvjbfsjvmrzmbh. Woke up several times convinced that I no longer had full control over my muscles. Scary.

by **Ambermutt** » Sat Feb 19, 2011 3:41 am UTC

sir2you wrote: Jaws could swim through anything solid in the shopping mall. Its dorsal fin rose out of the tile and left a wake behind just as if it were water. It could swim up escalators and support columns. It was attracted to vibrations so I had to be light on my feet.

This sounds a lot like the movie Tremors. Well, not really, but the vibrations bit and moving through solid ground. Have you seen that recently, by any chance?

by **Midnight** » Sat Feb 19, 2011 9:04 am UTC

I was in a burger king with my friend. A wonton or dumpling or whatever dropped on the floor (in dream BK, they serve chinese food) and my friend asked to get it free, cause it was a floor-wonton anyways.
And then they went to the bucket of chicken they keep by the cash register, with the... old parts or whatever? It was supposed to be the refuse, but it just looked like normal chicken to me, and they gave that to him.

Then, the worker from Burger King had that dumpling/chicken meal as well on his lunch break, and my friend pulled out a large roasted heritage turkey and started extolling the virtues of his turkey. He was saying shit like "Man, chickens for eating age in like a month--you can't develop flavor in four weeks! This turkey grew for eighteen months, and that's PLENTY of time for flavor to develop! Taste this roast turkey, damn you!"
He was totally harassing the poor BK worker with his heritage bird.

by **Promicin** » Sat Feb 19, 2011 2:21 pm UTC

We're in Hawaii (although you'd never know it from the scenery, which looks suspiciously like my friend's house). There's a pool with a huge platform/boardwalk/staircase thing. A little Asian girl (someone describes her skintone as "freshly-buttered dough") goes up there every day to wait for the airship/pirate ship. I know it's never coming, so I start accompanying her. One day when we're up there, we see my mom dressed as a realtor, showing off the pool, and I know she's up to some sort of White Collar/Psych scheme.

by **ArgonV** » Sat Feb 19, 2011 4:25 pm UTC

I had a special remote control. If I took it with me down the street and I pressed a number, I would be teleported to that house number in the street. Later I found out that when I pressed someone's telephone number and they'd answer the phone, the remote could teleport me right next to that person. After I changed batteries, I could also mute or pause people.
Oh, and my microwave was able to function as a nuclear fusion reactor when I placed water inside. Deuterium worked better though.

by **Promicin** » Tue Feb 22, 2011 2:21 pm UTC

Spoilered for grossness.

Spoiler:

by **Midnight** » Wed Feb 23, 2011 4:12 am UTC

I wish my dreams possessed irony.

by **elminster** » Wed Feb 23, 2011 7:08 am UTC

Part of a dream I had the other day was swimming down a canal which was about 10m across with barely moving water; the sides were newly built with light colour bricks. Well kept trees were evenly spaced out a few metres from the edge. Water level was only a foot below the side. Every famous celebrity alive was lined up in alphabetical order by surname along the edge (Just standing around next to each other). The last person was Arnold Schwarzenegger because they misspelt his surname as Zwarzenegger.

by **Promicin** » Wed Feb 23, 2011 1:35 pm UTC

It was Halloween and I wasn't prepared (used to have these dreams at least once a month; thought I was through with this). I was wearing a black shirt, so I hoped I could pass as a witch. I had to pay to trick-or-treat at the mall (every store at my local mall gives out candy, but you don't have to pay) and I was mad that gum didn't count as money. I got lost in a furniture store, and the whole thing turned into a Glee-type musical number. I remember thinking that this would be great if Rachael wasn't there.

by **TimelordSimone** » Wed Feb 23, 2011 2:43 pm UTC

So, I'm in KFC. KFC is a bar. While I'm waiting to be served, I talk to the bartender, who is serving Pepsi from those beer pumps. I'm standing there with an empty glass, ready, but the bartender keeps serving other people before me. I'm getting more and more annoyed, because, there's only like 3 people at the bar, and somehow she keeps not serving me. I'm hungry, I want my food. Eventually I get really mad and throw my glass at the glasses in her hands, shattering them, and I storm out.

EDIT: I love in dreams how one place is quite clearly another. This bar looked absolutely nothing like KFC. It just looks like a bar, yet I know it was KFC.

by **SecondTalon** » Wed Feb 23, 2011 4:11 pm UTC

It also helped that this guy was your bartender.

by **Promicin** » Wed Feb 23, 2011 7:47 pm UTC

TimelordSimone wrote:I love in dreams how one place is quite clearly another. This bar looked absolutely nothing like KFC. It just looks like a bar, yet I know it was KFC.

That's like me eating French fries. Sure theylooked like mini bagel pizzas, but I knew it was fries.

by **Jessica** » Wed Feb 23, 2011 7:50 pm UTC

I remember having a dream about the relationship between a short man and a giant woman (giant as in a race of humans who were all about twice the size of the average human), their struggles and trials as they dealt with the sociological impact of this. For some reason these giants just appeared out of nowhere, as almost an entire society that was just twice as large as ours but in all other respects was the same.

It was strange. But, it made me think I could write about it.

by **Menacing Spike** » Wed Feb 23, 2011 8:05 pm UTC

Jessica wrote:It was strange. But, it made me think I could write about it.

Experiences as a giant person for you:
-Fuck door frames.
-Fuck cars.
-Ohgod she is almost at shoulder level what how
-Something fell on the ground. Goddamnit. *grabs with toes*
-CAN'T FIND LARGE CLOTHES
-Covers are too short, head is cold, pulling them over, feets are cold, fuck.
-Hey, standing next to people and looking down on them makes them reaaaal uncomfortable! Neat!
-STOP ASKING ME TO FETCH OBJECTS ON HIGH SHELVES GODDAMN

by **KallistiEngel** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 9:48 am UTC

I don't remember much, but Gaius Baltar from Battlestar Galactica was in it and was pretty much like his character in the show, but a little more cruel and scary-like.

I just started watching season 3 and I think I may have reached BSG overload.

by **I Am Raven** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 10:24 am UTC

I dreamed me and my ex had sex. And it was very vivid, I really believed it was happening. It was very intimate. It was also very good.
Waking up was kind of a disappointment.

by **Ptolom** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 5:20 pm UTC

Pictures for Sad children was gradually giving up the comics to become a spinning top fan blog. There were pictures of antique whips and tops, and discussions of gyroscopic physics. I was actually quite satisfied with this development.

by **L4nce0** » Thu Feb 24, 2011 11:27 pm UTC

Me pressing a button and a loud alarm turning on for about 4 hours. Me then missing my first 2 classes... Oh shoot.. that wasn't a dream..

by **Kang** » Fri Feb 25, 2011 9:48 pm UTC

I dreamed I took a flight to Australia where a woman I don't know was waiting for me at the airport and took me to the port where we embarked on a small sailing boat for a remote pacific island where she lived.

by **elemental** » Mon Feb 28, 2011 10:25 am UTC

Funny. I just came across this thread while procrastinating from getting out of bed. I'm a bit sick (sore throat, slight fever, etc.) and so I had one of those disturbed, tossing-turning sleeps, where I slip in and out of wakefulness and confusing dreams, which I get mixed up with reality. All night my dreams kept going back to laser beam paths, optical components, and nonlinear optics.

by **Promicin** » Mon Feb 28, 2011 2:05 pm UTC

I had two dreams last night. The first was mostly in shades of blue and grey, and there was a two-story barn/warehouse that was rumored to be haunted by a young girl. Only it wasn’t a ghost – it was a young Pocahontas coming through a time warp on the second floor. And there was something about a mirror.

The second dream was bright and green and happy-looking, yet it involved something important and foreboding about to happen in my town. I can't remember what, but it involved feral lemurs. My mom and I took a walk through the park, and I remember saying "I know it isn’t a good thing that they're here, but it's sort of nice to see the lemurs.

by **TimelordSimone** » Mon Feb 28, 2011 2:30 pm UTC

I was in the bathroom, getting ready to go out. My mother was getting ready to go out (not to the same place) and we discussed how we're both going to be hitting on people who more than likely aren't at all interested in us. I refused to tell her who I was going to be hitting on. It was a secret.
Also I was being tried in Wizard Court, but they kept leaving the room so I wouldn't see them, and they switched the lights off every time they left which was really irritating.

by **Oregonaut** » Mon Feb 28, 2011 4:00 pm UTC

I was sitting at a beach, on a large boulder, unscalable from all sides. Surrounded by small shadows of children, dotting the sands as far as I could see. Their little hands swaying in the ocean breeze, their little voices calling for me to join them. To become one with them. As the sun climbed the sky, the shadows grew in length, not far enough to reach me, but far enough that they could throw things at me to try and knock me off. I flattened myself against the top of the boulder, protected my head as best as I could, but every large rock that hit hurt more than the last one. I was hungry, and thirsty, and unbelievably tired, but I couldn't give up. I knew that if I joined them, I would be lost. Forever. I would become another of them. I would hunt, and kill, and absorb everyone I cared for. I wouldn't be myself anymore. I'd be my shadow. All the good I want to do would become the opposite, I would desire limitless evil.

As the sun dropped in the sky, and eventually met the ocean, the shadows would disappear as long as the moon wasn't visible. I had to wait for a cloud bank to move in, and then I could run to another boulder, another place where there were no shadows. Where there was no light. My only hope lie in total darkness. I would never be able to see the sun, without seeing the shadows. Without being hunted. Called. Torn apart.

by **Zarq** » Mon Feb 28, 2011 6:59 pm UTC

I'm having a lot of extremely weird dreams lately.

A couple of nights ago, I had one of those extremely long sequential dreams. It involved a lot of stuff, including closets which when opened unloaded a lot of stuff and people first all coming upstairs, and then all wanting to go downstairs again. But the weirdest part was the end, when I suddenly was Michael Cera sitting on a couch with a naked Shannon Elizabeth.

Last night, I dreamt that I was at my grandparents, and they had just bought a cow that could talk. But the cow wanted to kill me and chased me all around the house.

I also dreamt that I was at a lecture, and suddenly a dragonlike monster barged in and held everyone hostage. I remember that videogame logic applied, because everybody could do magic, and I knew that when I died I wouldn't really be dead. I tried flanking the monster, but it saw me. However when it was talking to me, it wasn't paying attention to the rest of the people, and they killed it.

Just a couple of hours ago I dreamt me and my friends where hanging out with this girl that works at the gas-station/sandwich place near my campus, and she was behaving like that No-Face creature from Miyazaki's Spirited Away (in his non-violent mood), not talking, giving random stuff,...

But the weirdest was the one after that, which when I woke up spawned the idea for the most horrible practice ever. I'm not going to elaborate on this.

by **Menacing Spike** » Tue Mar 01, 2011 6:53 am UTC

I usually have very cruel and twisted dreams. But that one was amazingly boring.

I was at work (I'm still a student awake) and needed to know how AIFF headers were encoded. After searching fruitlessly, I went "fuck it, it's version dependant" and went back to procrastinating. I fired up a rpg, and got chased and killed by some sort of weird, lubed up meat tubes of different colors.

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