Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate?

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Obby
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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby Obby » Mon Sep 19, 2011 5:02 pm UTC

Kang wrote:
podbaydoor wrote:First I would obtain a fiery sword forged in the flames of Betelgeuse.

Betelgeuse might be a problem, but you certainly can make yourself a fiery sword. Somebody recently told me of a friend having such a project going. Basically it's a small liquid reservoir in the handle, a bit of tubing and electric sparks, all triggered with a button for that decisive blow.

Or you could just invent wildfire and pull a Thoros on him/Him.
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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby podbaydoor » Mon Sep 19, 2011 7:32 pm UTC

I've got it, folks. A ribbon made of "the sound of a cat's footfall, the beard of a woman, the roots of a mountain, bear's sinews, fish's breath and bird's spittle" is definitely the ticket to binding god.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby Menacing Spike » Mon Sep 19, 2011 8:28 pm UTC

podbaydoor wrote: fish's breath


I KNEW IT

IA! IA! Yahweh fhtagn!

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby broken_escalator » Mon Sep 19, 2011 8:32 pm UTC

podbaydoor wrote:I've got it, folks. A ribbon made of "the sound of a cat's footfall, the beard of a woman, the roots of a mountain, bear's sinews, fish's breath and bird's spittle" is definitely the ticket to binding god.

Damnit, all I have are roots of a mole hill, do you think it will work with this substitution?

Maybe if I mix in some corn starch?

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby Feddlefew » Mon Sep 19, 2011 8:33 pm UTC

podbaydoor wrote:I've got it, folks. A ribbon made of "the sound of a cat's footfall, the beard of a woman, the roots of a mountain, bear's sinews, fish's breath and bird's spittle" is definitely the ticket to binding god.


Okay, so I'd need some bird's nest soup, magnetic material from deep at the base of a mountain, water from a beta's tank, bear sinews, and some female chin hairs. Then, I'd make them into a ribbon for a tape recorder, which I would use to record a cat walking across crinkly paper....
My spelling is abysmal. Just saying.

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby SecondTalon » Mon Sep 19, 2011 8:44 pm UTC

Man, all of that is so easy to get except... Bear sinews. Where the hell am I supposed to find those? They're a myth, right? Everyone knows bears are full of spite and malice.. and nothing else.
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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby podbaydoor » Mon Sep 19, 2011 8:50 pm UTC

It's funny because what's meant by "bear sinews" in that legend was actually a bear's nerves or vitality.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby Deva » Mon Sep 19, 2011 8:50 pm UTC

What about the Elements of Harmony? Gather Aaeriele, Shivahn, Iulus Cofield, Weeks, Drumheller769, and…do we have a Rarity? Recalls seeing one. May we substitute Belial in instead? Or will that result in the Elements of Harm?
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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby podbaydoor » Mon Sep 19, 2011 8:52 pm UTC

Psh, if you're going to go with that route, then I would argue that the Care Bear Stare would be far more effective in winning your soulmate back from whichever deity we've decided to go with now.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby SecondTalon » Mon Sep 19, 2011 8:58 pm UTC

podbaydoor wrote:Psh, if you're going to go with that route, then I would argue that the Care Bear Stare would be far more effective in winning your soulmate back from whichever deity we've decided to go with now.

And using this as a guide......

You just need Mr. Rogers. 's cool. He helps out his neighbors. And we're all his neighbors.
heuristically_alone wrote:I want to write a DnD campaign and play it by myself and DM it myself.
heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby podbaydoor » Mon Sep 19, 2011 9:09 pm UTC

And he's a Presbyterian minister, so maybe he could go undercover and drop down behind god at the crucial moment to deliver a distracting blow while I swing my sword forged in the fiery furnace of Alpha Centauri.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby SecondTalon » Tue Sep 20, 2011 1:32 am UTC

He wouldn't even have to do that. He'd just walk in, take off his outdoor shoes and sweater, put on his indoor shoes and sweater, and have a nice, calming one-way chat with God, at the end of which God would realized what a mistake this all was, and return said Soulmate to you.

THEN Fred'd take his head off with his cleverly concealed katana. Because Fred Rogers is a fucking Ninja.
heuristically_alone wrote:I want to write a DnD campaign and play it by myself and DM it myself.
heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby Menacing Spike » Tue Sep 20, 2011 1:46 am UTC

SecondTalon wrote:THEN Fred'd take his head off with his cleverly concealed katana. Because Fred Rogers is a fucking Ninja.


Assuming the Christian God exists, Mr Rogers is probably somewhere on Its left side. He could creep on God while It is busy talking to Jesus or something.
But where would he get the Katana from?

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby SecondTalon » Tue Sep 20, 2011 4:00 am UTC

....

SecondTalon wrote:Because Fred Rogers is a fucking Ninja.
I'm not sure what part of that sentence isn't answering all of your questions.
heuristically_alone wrote:I want to write a DnD campaign and play it by myself and DM it myself.
heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby podbaydoor » Tue Sep 20, 2011 2:43 pm UTC

I remember being incredibly disappointed when I read the debunking of the "Fred Rogers was a SEAL/sniper/Marine" rumors. Also, I'm still convinced that he had badass tattoos under those sweaters, debunking or no.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby Hammer » Tue Sep 20, 2011 3:21 pm UTC

Or, you could simply point God at an internet forum and stroll leisurely away with your loved one while God typed furiously about how everyone is wrong about Hungarian notation or whether brown is really a color or how far apart parsnips should be planted.
"What's wrong with you mathematicians? Cake is never a problem."

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby LaserGuy » Tue Sep 20, 2011 4:29 pm UTC

Well, if it is the Christian God, then His weakness has already been revealed, in, remarkably, the Bible:

Judges 1:19 wrote:And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron.


So... all you need to do is bring an iron chariot, and you're pretty much set.

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby iChef » Wed Sep 21, 2011 2:55 am UTC

Knowing my luck I would fight a month long epic battle with God, finally claim victory and then said soulmate would be all " yeah I know you saved me from eternal torture and everything, but I don't think this is working out, I need some me time, ya know....."
Those whom God loves, he must make beautiful, and a beautiful character must, in some way, suffer.
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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby gorcee » Wed Sep 21, 2011 4:50 pm UTC

Hypothetically, would you fight cod to save your solemate?

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby SecondTalon » Wed Sep 21, 2011 5:01 pm UTC

With relish!


Don't judge me about how I eat fish.
heuristically_alone wrote:I want to write a DnD campaign and play it by myself and DM it myself.
heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby Menacing Spike » Wed Sep 21, 2011 5:19 pm UTC

gorcee wrote:Hypothetically, would you fight cod to save your solemate?


As call of duty is an abomination, dragging down the quality of fps games with its foul, tainted influence, yes.

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby gorcee » Wed Sep 21, 2011 5:23 pm UTC

Menacing Spike wrote:
gorcee wrote:Hypothetically, would you fight cod to save your solemate?


As call of duty is an abomination, dragging down the quality of fps games with its foul, tainted influence, yes.


I believe your platform is floundering, sir.

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby podbaydoor » Wed Sep 21, 2011 7:39 pm UTC

Stop trouting off about things you know nothing about.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby broken_escalator » Wed Sep 21, 2011 7:50 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:With relish!


Don't judge me about how I eat fish.

Wait... with relish, relish, or Relish? I'm not ruling out all of the above, but I'm totally judging you!

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby SecondTalon » Wed Sep 21, 2011 8:22 pm UTC

I relish Relish covered in relish.
heuristically_alone wrote:I want to write a DnD campaign and play it by myself and DM it myself.
heuristically_alone wrote:I have been informed that this is called writing a book.

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby gorcee » Wed Sep 21, 2011 8:25 pm UTC

podbaydoor wrote:Stop trouting off about things you know nothing about.


Stop posting just for the halibut!

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby podbaydoor » Wed Sep 21, 2011 11:52 pm UTC

You're behaving rather caviar-ly.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby Menacing Spike » Thu Sep 22, 2011 12:17 am UTC

podbaydoor wrote:You're behaving rather caviar-ly.


You are behaving like an āhole (Yes!! Finally, a use for that word). It's as if you are solely trawling for replies, and torpedoing the thread. You, madam, make me eel.

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby podbaydoor » Thu Sep 22, 2011 12:20 am UTC

Your clowning around fairly reefs of digitally flexing your mussels. Sir, have you taken your crabbiness medication today?
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby Menacing Spike » Thu Sep 22, 2011 12:25 am UTC

Sir, have you taken your crabbiness medication today?


Your barbs wound me, and I don't like the tuna of your voice! You should bar, nay, ray from your mind that idea. I was merely being sardinic.
While this exchange was piking, my fish vocabulary falls flat.

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby podbaydoor » Thu Sep 22, 2011 1:21 am UTC

On what do you bass your assumptions? I was seaking to reel in your shenanigans here.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby Felstaff » Thu Sep 22, 2011 8:22 am UTC

I've haddocknough of this.

Pollock'd.
Away, you scullion! you rampallion! You fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe.

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby sockpoppet » Thu Sep 22, 2011 11:42 am UTC

Is this thread supposed to be locked? :roll:

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby skippysheila » Thu Sep 22, 2011 11:46 am UTC

Felstaff wrote:I've haddocknough of this.

Pollock'd.


You stole my pun. I hake you.

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby Felstaff » Thu Sep 22, 2011 2:27 pm UTC

Unless you made it back in 2008, I (salmon of) doubt it!
Away, you scullion! you rampallion! You fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe.

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby skippysheila » Thu Sep 22, 2011 2:54 pm UTC

Felstaff wrote:Unless you made it back in 2008, I (salmon of) doubt it!


I've bream wrasse-ling with a suitable reply, but it's probably bass-t if I don't go on too long. I've not got a long posting history for you guys to goby, and taking this too far is gurnard end in tears. I'm also herring to sneak in replies around work, as well as being worried about taking up too much fora-space and appearing sawfish.

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby setzer777 » Tue Oct 11, 2011 2:59 pm UTC

According to this story, you just need to convince the world's military force to help you.
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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby Menacing Spike » Tue Oct 11, 2011 3:39 pm UTC

setzer777 wrote:According to this story, you just need to convince the world's military force to help you.


Thanks for the link, it's surpisingly well written for internet stuff.

edit: Never mind, it's 70% gun porn.
edit2: and 25% ultraconservative drivel.
and movie speeches. And terrible "science"...

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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby FrancisDrake » Tue Oct 18, 2011 7:03 am UTC

What a perfect rainy day investment this question was.
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Re: Hypothetically would you fight god to save your soulmate

Postby Vapour » Wed Oct 19, 2011 3:17 pm UTC

Yes, with a long drawn out shoot out followed by a intense sword fight.
It'd be close but I'd get the upper hand and disarm him and claim victory.


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