[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

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MFHodge
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Postby MFHodge » Fri Jul 13, 2007 1:10 pm UTC

I'd like to chime in with some male perspective, if I may:

Sex during period: Light days are fine, its just a little more clean-up. I've heard it helps alleviate cramps too. The biggest problem for me is fingers. Stopping to wash your hands between warm-ups and the big game stinks.

Birth Control: We've used condoms + pill for a long time (with a handful of exceptions). I don't really like wearing a condom, but don't want to risk a baby yet. We're getting married in November and we'll just use the pill then. If a baby happens, it will be a good thing, even if the timing isn't ideal. If any of you youngsters are afraid of buying condoms because you think it will be embarrassing, I felt the same way for a while. The first time was ackward, the second time wasn't. Believe me, nobody in the store cares what you're buying or where you are sticking it.

Faking Orgasms: Sometimes I wish she would! I hear about it if I didn't get it right. :) I think we're batting at about 0.700 though.

Masterbation: Please do. Figure out what you like and figure out how to tell us. Guys really want to make you feel good, and won't feel bad about getting a little instruction.
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Postby SecondTalon » Fri Jul 13, 2007 1:34 pm UTC

Sad thing is, I actually did play the "What weird shit can I buy with condoms to get a reaction out of the cashier" game. It's fun!
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Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Fri Jul 13, 2007 1:34 pm UTC

lesliesage wrote:I'd love to know if anyone out there actually NEVER fakes one.


I don't. I used to, with my very first boyfriend, oh god like eight years ago. I was shooting myself in the foot with that one. I tend to be pretty vocal in bed, I try to make sure I'm letting a guy know when he's doing something right, so he'll keep doing it, and I don't expect him to bear the entire responsibility of getting me off. The way I see it, my orgasms are too rare to fake. I want my partner to know what it takes and to do it! haha.

SecondTalon wrote:Sad thing is, I actually did play the "What weird shit can I buy with condoms to get a reaction out of the cashier" game. It's fun!


When I did that it was condoms, water balloons, chocolate frosting, and squirt guns.

I guess they could have construed it as preparing for a party... I think we also picked up one of those big number candles for little kids birthday parties, I believe it was a 3.

...now that I think about it, that's kind of disturbing.
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Postby Jauss » Fri Jul 13, 2007 1:47 pm UTC

lesliesage wrote:@Jauss- From some of your posts, I've gotten the sense that you run with some pretty rad counter-culture types, but damn! Her preferred baby-risk-reduction involves temperature taking and analyzing her cervical mucus every day? That's amazing. I feel so mainstream.


Yeah, I have a pretty interesting community of friends and acquaintances. :) I know a few gals that use FAMs, but most don't. Some of the ones who don't rely on them for birth control are interested in how the whole thing works though so they like to chart or check mucus just because they like to know their rhythms. I happen to know a lot of ladies that are really fascinated by body functions and sex and biology and stuff; some even enjoy bleeding (obviously not the cramps) a lot. Most of the dudes I know are also pretty cool with menstruating and are interested in how girls function. I used to know more or less around what days I'd probably get it, but I've never paid enough attention to my body. :?

I first got Shark Week during summer vacation when I was 11 IIRC. They were really irregular and long at first, like 3 or so weeks long, and 2 or 3 months in between. They were really light though and I had no cramps, but I was getting anemic so after a while I was put on the pill (which I only took for a few months) to regulate. It took a while, but eventually they became pretty regular and pretty heavy on the first few days and still on the long side — 6 – 7 days. With that came the cramps of doom. They usually were only really bad the first and second day; I'd take so many painkillers in those 36–48 hours though. Sometimes I'd get really upset about shit starting a few days before it came; other times, often the day of, I'd be in a ridiculously good/energetic mood.

I haven't had a period since early December because I got a shitload of chemo in November — enough to basically kill off my bone marrow — because I had an autologous stem cell transplant. Stupid leukemia. I didn't want to, but it was either a 15% or so chance of survival without relapse, but being pretty much as I was before or a 40%–60% of survival and frying my insides. I want(ed) kids, but I figured I couldn't have or raise them if I died, so I went through with it.

Sometimes it takes a few years to come back and the younger you are the better, but it might never come back and I'm just...waiting. Even if it does I will go into menopause earlier than I would have. Blah. I imagine this is kinda what it feels like to be a guy. I don't carry pads or tampons around anymore or have to stock up on uber-Tylenol and I'm not sure what my hormones are up to at all. It's only when I pass through that aisle in the grocery store or one of my friends mentions Shark Week or occasionally when I think about the future that I remember "Oh yeah, there's this thing that's supposed to be happening..."
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Postby kcr » Fri Jul 13, 2007 1:59 pm UTC

unjovial wrote:Is it just me or are there other females out there who've never kept track of their periods? Occassionally a doctor will ask me "When did you have your last period?" or "How many days is your cycle?". I don't know! I've never known! I never remember how long ago I had it, either. I just know when It's coming based on little body signals which are hard to explain. I get about 2 days notice.

Same here. It never comes at the same time/regularly.. sometimes it'll skip months, and when it does, it's usually not around the same time. But yeah, like you, I can normally guess a couple days ahead of time so I'm prepared for it.

Also, agree 100% on the makeup and eyebrows. I pluck out the hairs on the nose (because yeah, I just don't find that attractive) and occasionally a bit more but for the life of me I can't understand why some people want little tiny eyebrows that don't even stretch across the whole eye, or enormous arches. I don't find that attractive either.

As for makeup, I only wear it when my friends put some on me for special occasions. I don't own any except for a bit of eyeliner, some cover-up, and a tube of lip gloss. Even those, I barely use. Part of that is because I don't know HOW to put it on, but I don't really care either.

lesliesage wrote:I had to be told that girls masturbate... I was both innocent and not intrinsically that sexual, so I just thought I'd spread the Good Word.

In middle school, I had a good sex ed class with a great teacher, and even though the subject of masturbation came up a lot, he never once mentioned it in relation to girls, which pissed me off. For one, there probably were girls who didn't realize it was normal. And what does that say to girls who do masturbate? Even though he was great on all other topics, it was this one fairly important thing that he messed up with. So yay, keep spreading the "Good Word" XD

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Postby lukkucairi » Fri Jul 13, 2007 2:00 pm UTC

last word about the Persona - used properly, it's up in the high 90%s in efficacy (i.e. better than the sponge, some other methods)... (at least according to the studies cited on the box...)

the rhythm method (sans calculator) is inherently far more risky. I would not recommend it.

if I were not in a stable relationship with my SO, planning to have babies sometime in the relatively near future, I would be looking for a more absolutely effective method, maybe an IUD.

if you're 15 and want to have sex, use a condom. you do not want to make a baby, and when I was 15 my cycle (like that of many girls that age) was still all over the place - the rhythm method is like russian roulette with only half the chambers empty.

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Postby Princess Marzipan » Fri Jul 13, 2007 2:24 pm UTC

To Jalapeno, re: kid pictures -

Get back to me when one or both can get a gold medal on Lylat. Only then shall I be impressed. :lol:

(Period sex ftl.)
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Postby __Kit » Fri Jul 13, 2007 2:37 pm UTC

I agree with Hodge, tell guys what you want.
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Postby Belial » Fri Jul 13, 2007 2:37 pm UTC

Alright. I am definitely a guy. I just read this entire thread. It is awesome. And now, because I can't keep my damn mouth shut, *ever*:

On gross-outs: I attended a highschool with a 95% female population. After a while, everyone just forgot I was male. I have had *all* of these conversations. Nothing grosses me out anymore.

On period-synching: Happened at my school, since we were at school so much and there was so much female-juice floating around in the atmosphere. It was terrifying.

On period-sex: Awesomebear. The only part that sucks is the friction. Use more lube and everything is awesome. And there's blood everywhere, which is just badass.

On withdrawal/rhythm/etc: Seriously, Twas. Don't be a fuckwit. Buy some condoms. If you get your girl preggers because you're a dumbass, I will do her the service of delivering your jimmies to her on a platter.

On makeup: Chances are you don't need it, and it's just making your skin underneath the makeup worse. Quit it. (I'm looking at you, Girl (TM). You don't need it)

On eyebrows: Unless you have creepy caveman brows, we seriously don't care.

On masturbation: Hawt.

On orgasm-fakage:
I'd love to know if anyone out there actually NEVER fakes one.


If, as a couple, you generally agree that it won't necessarily happen on its own, under your own power, and that's *okay*, then it never really becomes necessary. Vibrators aren't just for alone-time, peoples.

On first-time hurtage: This is the one I feel least qualified talking about, but might I suggest practicing with various implements designed for simulation purposes?

On telling people what you want: Seriously. We're not telepathic. Communication is awesome. The only way either you or your boy/girl is going to become a better lover is by knowing what they're doing wrong and what you want them to do better.

Yeah, it's embarassing, but so is sex. Deal.

Also, there are cups now?

Badass.
Last edited by Belial on Fri Jul 13, 2007 2:52 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Secret Clubhouse: Girls Only!

Postby Sprocket » Fri Jul 13, 2007 2:50 pm UTC

Uterine chunks are my favorite chunks!
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:. I've watched two babies come out of my wife. You can't top that.

Whipped cream and a cherry...that was too easy, give me another.

So I'm in a reddiculous, silly, upswing from my recent (not actually)suicidal past few days on the way to mensturation. I felt like my life was...well...I don't really feel like harping on it now that I'm in a good mood, but I was miserable, jealous of everyone who did cool stuff (not that I'm not usually like that) and just generally swtiching moment to moment as to how I felt about things. I didn't treat anyone differently or bitch anyone out or do anything crazy, I just felt like I would never amount to anything and like I didn't want to deal with anything or face up to anything. Naturally my boyfriend was affected because I told him how I was feeling because that's one thing boyfriends are good for is telling them when you feel bad.

Anyway, now I'm feeling goofy. Also I hope I didn't worry him too much. The end.


So here's a question...shouldn't there be a way to just sweep your uteris? Get it all cleaned out in one swoop and not have to deal with it for a week at a time?
Last edited by Sprocket on Fri Jul 13, 2007 3:21 pm UTC, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby hestia » Fri Jul 13, 2007 2:54 pm UTC

Gosh, I suck at makeup. I had to got to the mall and ask one of the makeup counter ladies how to do it before prom. I always use browns and stuff though so I would have to do something really horrendous to make it look bad.

I have always been freaked out by those cup things. People say they are great but I just don't like the idea of a pool of blood hanging out inside me, but thats just me.

And boys that don't get freaked out about periods are awesome.

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Postby Belial » Fri Jul 13, 2007 2:59 pm UTC

msfayzer wrote:And boys that don't get freaked out about periods are awesome.


The only reason any boy ever has an *excuse* to freak out about that is if they're 10, a monk, or Monk. Otherwise, as a gender, we seriously need to just fucking deal.
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Postby Sprocket » Fri Jul 13, 2007 3:01 pm UTC

Dave: Good Attitude Towards Menstruation
Obtained from: Kids in the Hall FAQ
Transcribed by: lkane@ix.netcom.com



Dave: Hi, my name's Dave Foley, and, uh, something you might not know about me is that .. I have a good attitude towards menstruation. That's right, I'm the guy! The guy with a good attitude towards menstruation!
Oh, I know a lot of men are made uncomfortable by this monthly miracle. But not me. No, I embrace it. Embrace it the way the way some men embrace the weekend! Why I anticipate it the way a child anticipates Christmas!

Did you know that, uh, in alot of native Indian cultures, menstruating woman were forced to leave the village, less they're *powerful* magic should overwhelm the Shaman? If I were Shaman, I wouldn't be so competitive. I'd be more open and giving. I'd be a shaman with... a good attitude towards menstruation!

'Cause after all, what is it? a cluster of blood vessels, awaiting a fertilized egg. Providing a safe warm place for that egg to grow. And if a life does not occur, the whole thing is flushed away, and the cycle begins again. Now is that anything to be ashamed of or disgusted by? No, this is the nesting stuff of humanity!

That's why the woman I shall love will be able to menstruate as fully and freely as she desires. Even if her monthly flow should build in intensity to a raging rust colored torrent! An unbridled river of life giving blood flowing from between her legs! An awesome cataract plunging off the edge of our couch. I wouldn't be fazed! No, no, even if coureur de bois would come up stream, battling the rapids, and singing a 'jaunty song'! I would take no offense, rather I would ford across that mighty womanly river, and fetch herbal tea and Pamprin. And then I would mop her brow and admire her fecundity. For I...Have A Good Attitude....Towards MENSTRUATION!

http://www.kithfan.org/work/transcripts/one/menstr.html
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Postby Princess Marzipan » Fri Jul 13, 2007 3:21 pm UTC

CatProximity wrote:(snip) good attitude toward menstruation (snip)


You have not yet hung with Meaux_Pas and I at our place in Porter.

This really needs to be fixed.
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Postby Sprocket » Fri Jul 13, 2007 3:22 pm UTC

I am supposed to come watch zim aren't I? I'm free during the day tomorrow for whatever. I'm also supposed to bother BakeMaster at work.

PM mois.

Demon of prey wrote:On orgasm-fakage:
I'd love to know if anyone out there actually NEVER fakes one.

If, as a couple, you generally agree that it won't necessarily happen on its own, under your own power, and that's *okay*, then it never really becomes necessary.
Yeah, I've never faked an orgasm. I often wondered if making noise to let a boy knew he was doing a good job, even if you weren't neccesarily COMPELLED to make a noise was considered 'faking' but have since learned it is not. I have also not to any degree of certainty HAD an orgasm, and this is particularly fun now because my boy is not an easy-off either.

viking lizard wrote:On first-time hurtage: This is the one I feel least qualified talking about, but might I suggest practicing with various implements designed for simulation purposes?
isn't the pain half the fun?


Belial,
will you marry...like...EVERYONE? You know, be a rentable third party, fix marriages, sex lives, make boys understand girls, and get paid in sexual favors.
Last edited by Sprocket on Fri Jul 13, 2007 3:33 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Phenriz » Fri Jul 13, 2007 3:25 pm UTC

Belial wrote:On period-synching: Happened at my school, since we were at school so much and there was so much female-juice floating around in the atmosphere. It was terrifying.


Oh good god man! all.... that..... estrogen.....

You made it out of there with your life, and without Moobs?

I'm impressed.
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Postby Belial » Fri Jul 13, 2007 3:27 pm UTC

When the PMS all hit at once, and perhaps one or more girl had had trouble with her boyfriend and was in a mood to hate on men in general....

...you learned to stand really, really still, and hope they didn't suddenly remember which chromosome configuration you had.
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Postby Azrael » Fri Jul 13, 2007 3:27 pm UTC

Twasbrillig wrote:Wikipedia says that withdrawal has twice the failure rate of condom use, 20 times the failure rate of the pill, but 2/3 that of a diaphragm. Commentary?


Commentary? You're gonna be a daddy unless you buy some damn condoms and use them like the responsible adults you should be trying to become.

Grow up.

Also: The one concerned with during menstruation sex in my relationship is not me (... and I'm a guy). The upside? Anal. I think I came out ahead on this one.

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Postby Bakemaster » Fri Jul 13, 2007 3:30 pm UTC

I made banana muffins yesterday and I have four left. Bother me at work tonight (371 Summer St, VFW parking lot in Davis, between 5:30 and 7:30) for a free muffin! Now I have to run to before-work-work.

/threadhijack
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Postby Phenriz » Fri Jul 13, 2007 3:30 pm UTC

Belial wrote:...you learned to stand really, really still, and hope they didn't suddenly remember which chromosome configuration you had.


Belial's Rule of Survival tip #046:

Multiple Chicks on the Rag = Tyrannosaurus Rex

You stand very.....VERY still and hope they can't smell your fear, or that caché of Y chromosomes hidden in your pants.
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Postby une see » Fri Jul 13, 2007 3:34 pm UTC

As I said in the Shaving thread, I like shaving. It's cool beans in my book.

I don't wear makeup...ever. Occasionally, I might put on Chapstick (Burt's Bees is the best), but that's about it. If my friends are willing to help me with makeup, then I let them, but I don't want to do it myself. It's just too annoying.

I'm friends with a lot of guys, and they have to hear about me and my girl friends' vaginal stories all the time. It's kind of fun. They just shake their head and comment on how gross we are, but I think they're used to it by now.

Oh, and I don't really pluck my eyebrows, either. I think their natural shape is okay, but if I feel like it, I'll sometimes pluck some of the outside hairs around my eyebrows. A few hairs, at most.

I don't know...I don't really do much feminine upkeep. It's just too much of a hassle.

And on the topic of PMS...I find that I usually don't feel any different when I have Shark Week. I feel kind of icky, but I don't have weird mood swings or anything, and I can still play sports and things. Is it just me, or do any of you also not go through PMS?
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Postby OCR » Fri Jul 13, 2007 3:35 pm UTC

Bakemaster wrote:I made banana muffins yesterday and I have four left. Bother me at work tonight (371 Summer St, VFW parking lot in Davis, between 5:30 and 7:30) for a free muffin! Now I have to run to before-work-work.

/threadhijack


the thread was hijacked for the purpose of banana muffins. Which even the girly club can appreciate.
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Postby Sprocket » Fri Jul 13, 2007 3:36 pm UTC

Azrael wrote:
Twasbrillig wrote:Wikipedia says that withdrawal has twice the failure rate of condom use, 20 times the failure rate of the pill, but 2/3 that of a diaphragm. Commentary?


Commentary? You're gonna be a daddy unless you buy some damn condoms and use them like the responsible adults you should be trying to become.

Grow up.

Also: The one concerned with during menstruation sex in my relationship is not me (... and I'm a guy). The upside? Anal. I think I came out ahead on this one.
Is that a bad pun? and may I say that SO MANY boys are "self-lubricating" (20% of my experience, anyway) which would render pulling out essentially entirely unneffective.

Bakemaster wrote:I made banana muffins yesterday and I have four left. Bother me at work tonight (371 Summer St, VFW parking lot in Davis, between 5:30 and 7:30) for a free muffin! Now I have to run to before-work-work.

/threadhijack
Banana Muffins ARE awesome....but this post makes me a wee bit nervous...like the stranger with candy...
Last edited by Sprocket on Fri Jul 13, 2007 3:39 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Belial » Fri Jul 13, 2007 3:37 pm UTC

CatProximity wrote:
Belial,
will you marry...like...EVERYONE? You know, be a rentable third party, fix marriages, sex lives, make boys understand girls, and get paid in sexual favors.


I will have to run it by my girlfriend, but it sounds like good clean fun to me.
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Postby zazou » Fri Jul 13, 2007 3:53 pm UTC

yay for the girly clubhouse where we can be safe from boy-coodies and raptors alike! :D

*goes into gross-details-modus*

To answer the alpha-and-omega of all questions ever: chunkyness: yes. Even more so since i got my implant which changed consistancy and (strangely enough) colour of menstruation (to a degree that i'm not even sure if it still scientifically qualifies as 'blood' :? ).
I embrace the chunkyness, for more chunks = less of the floody leaky variety. And just a lot less of it in general. These days i can get by with just the thin pantyliners, even on first days and at night. I am told though that it doesn't swing that way for everyone getting an implant: some get heavier periods.
Also on the +side: it's right beneath my skin and visible and that has already proven to make even the most macho of males go a bit pale in the face. Now, that IS good fun. :twisted: And then I haven't even started telling about the replacement (this is actually n°2; they last for 3 years and i'm up again in jan 2008). That's a whole other story involving an implant not so 'right beneath my skin' and me squealing like a pig.

But 'nough gruesomeness for one post. more to follow later. much more. :twisted:
will lecture for food.

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Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Fri Jul 13, 2007 3:55 pm UTC

Twasbrillig wrote:Wikipedia says that withdrawal has twice the failure rate of condom use, 20 times the failure rate of the pill, but 2/3 that of a diaphragm. Commentary?

Women using a diaphragm are far less likely to actually have sex.

2nd, on the advice of my wife, the rhythm method only works when you WANT to have a kids, IE, pick those times when you're super-fertile. The rest of the time? Yeah, still fairly fertile... it's like watching a fire flare up and then die down, flare up and die down, but it's still 500 degrees when it's down, and saying "Now it's safe to stick my widget in there..."

As for sex, a few words to the women:

1.) TELL US WHEN WE'RE DOING IT WRONG!!!

2.) TELL US WHEN WE"RE DOING IT RIGHT!!!

3.) And for the love of Glod, this is the most important one... don't ask us sexual questions when you DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER.

EDIT: Creamy, he's got two medals so far (the rest are mine).

Also, Cat... you're a girl? Seymour's a girl dog? *gasp* KIDS IN THE HALL! Oh my Gord, I love that sketch... that and "I'm a bad doctor. No, really!"

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Postby Sprocket » Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:07 pm UTC

Mighty Jalapeno wrote:
Twasbrillig wrote:Wikipedia says that withdrawal has twice the failure rate of condom use, 20 times the failure rate of the pill, but 2/3 that of a diaphragm. Commentary?

Women using a diaphragm are far less likely to actually have sex.

2nd, on the advice of my wife, the rhythm method only works when you WANT to have a kids, IE, pick those times when you're super-fertile. The rest of the time? Yeah, still fairly fertile... it's like watching a fire flare up and then die down, flare up and die down, but it's still 500 degrees when it's down, and saying "Now it's safe to stick my widget in there..."

As for sex, a few words to the women:

1.) TELL US WHEN WE'RE DOING IT WRONG!!!

2.) TELL US WHEN WE"RE DOING IT RIGHT!!!

3.) And for the love of Glod, this is the most important one... don't ask us sexual questions when you DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER.

EDIT: Creamy, he's got two medals so far (the rest are mine).

Also, Cat... you're a girl? Seymour's a girl dog? *gasp* KIDS IN THE HALL! Oh my Gord, I love that sketch... that and "I'm a bad doctor. No, really!"


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Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:09 pm UTC

Belial wrote:On period-sex: Awesomebear. The only part that sucks is the friction. Use more lube and everything is awesome. And there's blood everywhere, which is just badass.

Also, there are cups now?

Badass.


Oh indeed, they are so badass.

I love guys with a good attitude toward menstruation! Please recruit others.

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Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:10 pm UTC

Have you seen "The Wrong Guy" yet, or "Netherbeast Incorporated"?

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Postby solarchem » Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:14 pm UTC

Meaux_Pas wrote:I love guys with a good attitude toward menstruation! Please recruit others.


Shouldn't be too hard. I think most of us boys on this site are a bit more rational and open minded than the average.

The only time blood ever freaked me out is when there was a TON of it in our bed at 2 AM and we had to rush Mrs. Solarchem to the hospital for an emergency C-section.

Small amount of blood during menstruation = cool
Large pool of blood during pregnancy = not cool
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Postby kcr » Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:15 pm UTC

And on the topic of PMS...I find that I usually don't feel any different when I have Shark Week. I feel kind of icky, but I don't have weird mood swings or anything, and I can still play sports and things. Is it just me, or do any of you also not go through PMS?

Yeah, not really. Maybe a little more moody but that's it.

Belial, why was your school 95% girls? (On a side note, I go to an all girls school, and yeah, it can get a bit scary at times.)

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Postby space_raptor » Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:16 pm UTC

There are chunks? I knew I was going to regret reading this thread. Oh well, at least I know about the cup thing now.

3.) And for the love of Glod, this is the most important one... don't ask us sexual questions when you DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER.

What sexual questions?

Re condom use: You should use lube, every time. I've never had sex without a jimmy hat. I feel I am missing out on something, but also I am missing out on the joys/nuclear emotions of fatherhood. I feel it's an acceptable tradeoff.

I apologize if this question seems crude, but well, I read through the uterine chunks, and I have a good attitude towards menstruation, so I think I've earned the right to stay.

The question: Spit or swallow? Or other?
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Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:19 pm UTC

solarchem wrote:
Meaux_Pas wrote:I love guys with a good attitude toward menstruation! Please recruit others.


Shouldn't be too hard. I think most of us boys on this site are a bit more rational and open minded than the average.


So do we get to chase CreemyNougat out with pitchforks and torches? He's so totally against such things.
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Postby SecondTalon » Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:20 pm UTC

What sexual questions?


What, you've never been asked by a girl you're dating "Go on, tell me one of your fantasies!" and struggled to come up with something that won't freak her the fuck out? It's just me?

Damnit. I can't help that I really, really, like pudding*



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Postby space_raptor » Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:22 pm UTC

It would be almost impossible to freak out my girlfriend. It is definitely impossible for me to freak her out. Nothing I could come up with would faze her. Nothing I seriously meant, anyways.

Pudding? How about chocolate sauce?
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Postby solarchem » Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:24 pm UTC

Meaux_Pas wrote:So do we get to chase CreemyNougat out with pitchforks and torches? He's so totally against such things.


Well, I didn't say all the boys. I just have a hunch your odds are better here. By all means though, breakout them 'forks.
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Postby fjafjan » Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:25 pm UTC

The chunks bit makes me feel violated. chunks? God damn tomatoe sauce shit?
Oh god.

Other than that I don't have much to add. Except that I am unsure how to deal with women having PMS, as you have to know it and not ask or mention it. Which usually gets hard.
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Postby wocket » Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:28 pm UTC

space_raptor wrote:There are chunks? I knew I was going to regret reading this thread. Oh well, at least I know about the cup thing now.

3.) And for the love of Glod, this is the most important one... don't ask us sexual questions when you DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER.

What sexual questions?

Re condom use: You should use lube, every time. I've never had sex without a jimmy hat. I feel I am missing out on something, but also I am missing out on the joys/nuclear emotions of fatherhood. I feel it's an acceptable tradeoff.

I apologize if this question seems crude, but well, I read through the uterine chunks, and I have a good attitude towards menstruation, so I think I've earned the right to stay.

The question: Spit or swallow? Or other?

There's an other with that question?

Also, I rarely use condoms. BUT! I trust all the sexual partners I've had, I'm on the pill, and I'm allergic to latex. (the last bit is the important part. I know they make polyurethane condoms, but they're SO EXPENSIVE. At the local drugstore they're like $12.99 for a 6 pack)

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Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:32 pm UTC

SecondTalon wrote:
What sexual questions?


What, you've never been asked by a girl you're dating "Go on, tell me one of your fantasies!" and struggled to come up with something that won't freak her the fuck out? It's just me?

I made the huge mistake of telling her the truth. Six years later, and she continues to make me feel like killing myself about it.

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Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Fri Jul 13, 2007 4:32 pm UTC

wocket wrote:
The question: Spit or swallow? Or other?

There's an other with that question?


I suppose 'other' could be construed as 'make him ejaculate somewhere other than your mouth' (like a hand towel or houseplant, perhaps).

Personally, I always swallow.
Odds are if I'm going down on a guy, it's already been established that I love him and care about him and want to do all kinds of dirty things to him. Spitting just means I have to take an extra few seconds and go find something to spit into, and who wants to do that?
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