[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby crystal_owl » Fri Nov 06, 2009 1:07 pm UTC

[fangirlgush] I love Labyrinth SO much! Seriously, I have a huge movie poster on my wall and everything. My brother even bought my models of Jareth and Hoggle from Forbidden Planet as a present once. Love that film! [/fangirlgush]

EDIT: I now must apologise for such a crazed page-topper! Still, I've never been top before...yay?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Jessica » Fri Nov 06, 2009 1:26 pm UTC

So totes in for the secret santas.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby existential_elevator » Fri Nov 06, 2009 2:41 pm UTC

So, like, womanthread, I'm having an dilemma which I am probably more annoyed about than I should be.

See, I'm doing rubbish secretary stuff a lot at the moment, and managing a database of people. Now, there is one person on my database who is obviously transitioning. And, whoever was there before me has their name in as "boyname/girlname" and their gender marked as male. This.. well, this kind of annoyed me, but because I didn't have any indication which the appropriate gender should be and the input options are binary I kind of ignored it. But, then I saw a file photo of them today and realised they are obviously presenting female. I think that I should take out the "boyname" part of "boyname/girlname" because I think it's actually pretty rude to have it so that standard e-mails or letters to them are addressed "boyname/girlname". I haven't had any luck contacting them to see what they would prefer. I figure I might not be able to change gender for legal reasons but I don't know about name? What would the people here, particularly those who have transitioned/are transitioning, want done if they were in her place? Or should I just not be as annoyed about this as I am?

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Rinsaikeru » Fri Nov 06, 2009 3:28 pm UTC

David Bowie gushing pagetoppers are becoming the norm... So Crystal Owl, I salute you for continuing the trend!

e_e: I agree that the way it was previously filed seems quite othering to me--and changing it seems like a good idea, but without contact from the specific individual it's a tough call to make.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Jessica » Fri Nov 06, 2009 3:37 pm UTC

I say contact the individual and ask them. It's the best way to make sure.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Felstaff » Fri Nov 06, 2009 5:30 pm UTC

We have the same problem, only that I have to letterise these people with official documents, and can't contact them personally to ask how they wish to be addressed.

Dear Mr. Dervil Dervil (both names changed to protect identity, although her surname is the same as her first name),
(in the medical notes section it says 'sex change operation 26/06/06' where Mr. D. Dervil became Ms. D. Dervil, although she is still Mr. on the system and on the mail merge - despite her becoming a patient after 26/06/06. Which means she (most likely) provided Mr. when completing the form, but I can't be sure. Some administrator could have just put Mr. when uploading the file)

So in that case I wrote Dear Dervil Dervil, but it made me think there should be a prefix I should use, for formality's sake. Why wasn't Dervil a Dr./Prof., consarnit!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Spacemilk » Fri Nov 06, 2009 11:35 pm UTC

__jess wrote:The alternate to using an internet site to manage the secret santa is to get someone here to do it. That does mean that one person will have all the addresses, though I guess if you're happy to give your address out, it shouldn't matter to who, since it's random anyway. I can't participate, but I'm happy to draw all the names out and whatnot if it's useful.


Sorry for going AWOL, everyone, I have been hanging out with my lil sis as she is going through a rough time. Ok so, secret santa stuff. After thinking about it a bit, I realized the Elfster thing may not be the best option for several reasons:
-It's impossible to tell who has who and therefore who reneged on giving gifts. (based on reading the site, that is my interpretation though I may be wrong) As a result it's impossible to fix people who had Deadbeat Santas.
-It's possible for spammers or jackasses to sign up a bunch of fake accounts and completely screw over the exchange.
-It's difficult or impossible to make sure the person signing up is actually in the XKCD community and would be able to give a personalized, fitting gift.

So, how about we do this: I will create a new thread. People can sign up at will. On November 15th (I picked that date completely at random, we can pick a different one) we will hand out Santa assignments and people can get started Santa-ing it up. Jess, is it ok if you handle the addresses and everything? I can and will help you send out addresses, but I can't really help with the drawings. If this sounds good, I will have to scrap the Elfster thing (thanks so much to everyone who signed up!!! it was good to see the responses!) and we can start over with a (hopefully!) better system! Yea/nay?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Rinsaikeru » Sat Nov 07, 2009 12:14 am UTC

Yea to that. Are we doing whole fora or just Woman Thread? Can we vote?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby semicharmed » Sat Nov 07, 2009 12:42 am UTC

Very yea.
Also, I'm fine with either Woman Thread only, whole forum, or doing two, but I definitely think there should be a "you must have been a forum member for this long" requirement — probably nothing less than two or three months.
If jess isn't willing, I'd also be cool with sys-admining the secret Santa; usually it works out to more than just names/address pairings... I know on the other forums I've participated in Secret Santa on, some Santas inevitably had questions for their match, and there are usually some people who aren't okay with packages being marked "from the INTERNET" and other wacky stuff.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Rinsaikeru » Sat Nov 07, 2009 12:46 am UTC

Maybe we could make a quiz with 2-3 questions to give the Secret Santa a clue about their target? Or we could read the member interviews thread? Should be easy enough to have a form something like"

Name:
Address:
Hobbies:
Favourite Colour:
Any other Pertinent Questions:

And then distribute those via the correct authorities....
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby semicharmed » Sat Nov 07, 2009 12:57 am UTC

Rinsaikeru wrote:Maybe we could make a quiz with 2-3 questions to give the Secret Santa a clue about their target? Or we could read the member interviews thread? Should be easy enough to have a form something like:


Name:
Address:
Are you okay with getting packages explicitly stating "from the internet!"/crazily decorated:
Hobbies:
Favourite Colour:
Favorite xkcd:
Any food allergies:
Any other Pertinent Questions:

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Ivora » Sat Nov 07, 2009 1:25 am UTC

Is it normal to feel sad for no reason?

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby poxic » Sat Nov 07, 2009 3:56 am UTC

I'm into the Secret Santa thing. I hope we can get the forum name of our pick, along with their real name and address -- it would be much nicer to think "cool, I'm doing something for this person I know to be awesome" rather than "hmm, I wonder who $ThisName is online?"

I'm sort of in favour of making it for Woman Thread participants only, probably because I feel most comfortable with the folks here. It also doesn't feel quite right to make it that limited, though -- there are awesome people elsewhere in the fora as well, after all. So call me "undecided, therefore okay with whatever", I guess.

However it's done, please to be letting us know of the thread when it's created, lest I be of the missing it status. Many many many thanks, Milk from Space! <3
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Spacemilk » Sat Nov 07, 2009 3:59 am UTC

Ok I am going to start a General Fora Secret Santa... I would also be up for doing a women-thread-only secret santa in addition, but it's up to you guys. I think it seems like general interest is high, which is why I am opening it up. fake edit for poxic because we posted at the same time: Yes I would be up for doing a women thread one because I feel like we have gotten to know each other better than the rest of the fora... let me know if we have enough interested people!

I'm going to start the thread, I'll be around for a bit yet (still with my sis) so let me know if you have any ideas. I'll likely then go AWOL until Sunday, so keep the thread moving!

Err, rather than having people post their address in the thread, I was thinking I would post saying they should send a PM to whoever runs the admin for the Secret Santa thing (so far I guess it's __Jess if that's ok! if not then semicharmed would you be able to do that?). That way, it won't be publicly broadcast, and the address can be sent out with their name when the drawing is done...? What do you guys think of that?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby poxic » Sat Nov 07, 2009 4:10 am UTC

Hmm... how to judge interest in a Woman Thread-specific Secret Santa? Hmm...

How about this: everyone who's hanging around in this thread who wants to participate in a WT-only Secret Santa, instead of or in addition to the general one, PM me with a "yes please". I'll count the number of "yes please" PMs I get by ... hmm, midnight this Sunday/Monday November 8/9, Pacific time (GMT-8). I'll then forward that number to Spacemilk and she can decide whether there is enough interest in a WTSS. Howzzat sound?

One-line summary:
If you want to join a Woman-Thread-Only-Secret-Santa, PM me with a "Yes!" before the end of the weekend. If there's enough interest, it'll happen. :D


Edit to clarify: don't send me your address for this, not yet. We'll work out who gets the addresses once we decide that WTSS will happen.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Spacemilk » Sat Nov 07, 2009 4:25 am UTC

Whew, the General Secret Santa thread is up... let me know what you guys think! And sign up if you are interested! :D
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Isotope_238 » Sat Nov 07, 2009 10:14 pm UTC

Ivora wrote:Is it normal to feel sad for no reason?


It can happen. I don't know why, but I know it's possible. *hug*

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby crowey » Sat Nov 07, 2009 11:15 pm UTC

Woman thread, can I have some outfit ideas please?
I'm going to my cousin's wedding in a couple of weeks, it's at some posh hotel in Yorkshire... I bought this dress and necklace today:
Image
Image

The dress is actually a tunic-y thing, it's knee length but has slits up each side quite high, and the wedding is in the north in late november, so obviously some kind of leg covering is required...
I was thinking long black leggings (and patent shoe-boots), but I'm not sure if it's smart enough? maybe some kind of wide-leg trousers?

ideas? comments? etc...
Last edited by crowey on Sat Nov 07, 2009 11:24 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby PictureSarah » Sat Nov 07, 2009 11:22 pm UTC

I don't think the black leggings and boots would look bad, but perhaps you could find some cropped black leggings and wear them with some shiny-ish black or even pewter colored heels? I think that might look a bit dressier. But I am not the most fashion-savvy person ever.

Also I have a fashion question! I have a job interview on Monday. I had an interview on Tuesday (or Wednesday?) as well, and for that one I wore a swishy black silk skirt that is mid-calf length, and a long-sleeved dark brown cotton v-neck tshirt with a dressy printed scarf and black heels. I don't have that many more dressy clothes...would a black dress (v-neck, cotton, 3/4 length sleeves, about knee-length) and black mid-calf boots with brightly colored tights be too casual? I will try to take some pictures tomorrow.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby tin » Sat Nov 07, 2009 11:43 pm UTC

I don't think that sounds too casual, Sarah. If you're worried it is, maybe find a nice, crisp, white collared shirt to wear under your dress, with the collar peeping out over your v-neck. I did that a lot with my v-neck jumpers when working in office type situations.

I like that necklace, crowey :D . Whilst leggings would be warmer, I wouldn't go for them myself, because their opaque quality might look odd with such a nice dress. I'd go for some good quality, high denier tights (for warmth) with a bit of a shine to them. With maybe some kind of pixie ankle boot, which are a bit of a fancier way of covering your feet from the cold without looking too informal.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby crowey » Sun Nov 08, 2009 12:33 am UTC

*agrees with Tin* sounds plenty smart to me, Sarah.
I shall take a look at tights and boots in town tomorrow. I struggle to get good tights though, being tall and a bit of a chunkster, they tend to be too short in the leg (my inside leg measurment is 38" nightmare for trousers and tights...) especially down here where there's a pretty limited selection of shops.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby doogly » Sun Nov 08, 2009 4:08 am UTC

Jessica wrote:Also, I have my breast surgery scheduled!
Jan 13th

I just found out a local friend of mine is getting his surgery the same day, opposite procedure! Such a coincidence. I am totally counting both of these good things as my birthday presents from the universe.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby parkaboy » Sun Nov 08, 2009 4:01 pm UTC

we can totally do organ transplants, so I've always wondered why we can't do "gosh I'd love to have your breasts" "oh, please take them!" transplants. I'm sure there is a science reason as to why but I'm lazy and behind on chores. Or, like "my butt is huge but I could use a more proportioned chest. Can we just move things around?" COME ON, SCIENCE! YOU CAN MAKE THIS HAPPEN.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Isotope_238 » Sun Nov 08, 2009 4:30 pm UTC

@parkaboy: Check this out.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby parkaboy » Sun Nov 08, 2009 4:36 pm UTC

BAD ASS! Body recycling! I am so excited about this and I don't even know why because I could never afford it anyway! *clapping gleefully*
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby abitha » Sun Nov 08, 2009 4:39 pm UTC

parkaboy wrote:we can totally do organ transplants, so I've always wondered why we can't do "gosh I'd love to have your breasts" "oh, please take them!" transplants. I'm sure there is a science reason as to why but I'm lazy and behind on chores. Or, like "my butt is huge but I could use a more proportioned chest. Can we just move things around?" COME ON, SCIENCE! YOU CAN MAKE THIS HAPPEN.


I'm not sure whether your question was just rhetorical, but i can actually give you a serious answer if you want.

The techniques do exist for taking subcutaneous fat from, say, the abdomen or thighs, and injecting it into the breasts. Some centres have been doing it for several years now - it's called lipomodelling or lipofilling. Linky. The main problem is that it's a bit unpredictable - if the injected fat doesn't have a good enough blood supply, it can break down and form cysts and calcified bits. This can cause it to scar and shrink, so it doesn't look right, and perhaps even more importantly it makes it really hard to interpret future mammograms, so you could end up with missed cancers and/or unnecessary operations for things that weren't cancers. As the techniques continue to improve and they sort out these problems, it may well become a popular technique.

As for breast transplants from the too-well-endowed to the not-well-endowed-enough - this is pretty unlikely to ever happen, at least not within our lifetimes. Sure, we can do organ transplants, but it (almost universally) requires the recipient to be on immunosuppressive drugs for the rest of their life, which increases the risk of infections and some cancers, and can give other side effects like liver damage. Plus, even with these nasty drugs, in a significant proportion of cases the body eventually rejects the transplanted tissue. It's worth it if the alternative is dying from heart/liver/kidney/whatever failure, but most people wouldn't want to risk all of that stuff just to have bigger boobs, and even if they did, most surgeons wouldn't perform the op. So until we come up with a better way of preventing organ rejection, that one's not on the cards.

So now you know!

[Pre-post edit: ninja'd!]

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby mieulium » Sun Nov 08, 2009 4:48 pm UTC

Anyone having the problem with chubby fingers? My ring finger is a size 10.5, and my middle finger is about size 13. D:

I want to buy sparkly sparkly rings, but..........

About breast transplants..... Man. I wish it was possible. Oh well, tell your kids to eat more tofu while growing (like age 8 or 9) and your child might end up with D's.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Van » Sun Nov 08, 2009 5:53 pm UTC

Though it does lack the appeal of killing two birds with one stone, I think stuff like stem cells is probably a lot more viable than transplants. The early results seem promising :D and shockingly cheap, considering the voodoo magic involved.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby parkaboy » Sun Nov 08, 2009 7:17 pm UTC

Ok, less science, more fashion, although now I'm incredibly interested in all the things discussed in the last 3 or 4 posts.

It struck me that I have no good winter coat. My brown corduroy one is ok, but the buttons come open, its wearing a bit thin (as it was well used when I acquired it) and the sleeves are a tad too short. This normally wouldnt bother me, as I'd have my car to shuttle me back and forth to work, but I'm moving up to Boston soon and will be selling my car and walking. A lot. So, not freezing to death is a justifiable expense, especially when my parents will put money towards a live daughter, as opposed to a Popsicle.

I know the awesome power of wool/polyester blends. I know that jackets stuffed and lines with animal parts are warm AND can look pretty awesome and are soft. Coats made entirely of animals are out of the question. Financially and morally. My main problem is that I have this glitch where when I step out of the house, I like to look put together and not like a marshmallow or a mountaineer (nothing against either, I just have a style I want to work towards and maintain). SO, here's what I'm leaning towards and the Whys:

Wool Topcoat First of all, these don't seem terribly warm. What do you put *under* a top coat? is there a designated bottom coat? anyway, i can layer stuff with this and make it work. In Black, of course. Or they have a deep red that is nice.

Wool w/ faux-fur collar Hooraaaay fur! I like this length, cut and buttons. and Fur. I like it in black AND the grey, shown here. It is heavier than the "top coat" but also stiffer. I assume that would soften with wear?

What I'm actually leaning towards:
Cape!! Its simple, its cute, its warm, it comes in grey and black. But will it be *warm enough* I figure I can put my hoodie under it (which i wear at work anyway) and the layers will be sufficient.

This, however, is the one I love best Can layer under it, has the half belt thingy to seal me in, removable faux-fur collar, so cute. Come in black, too.

I could also get any number of nice wool peacoats of varying lengths from New York & CO, but they are more expensive and I'd feel bad for the "extravagance" of paying twice as much as those, even if they are a slightly better quality.

Like This and This (pretty much the bad-assest wool bomber jacket ever. Comes in black and solid grey w/ black detail too) and several others they have In Stores but not online?

I have, at one point or another, tried all of these on and they are equally comfortable and awesome. My normal attire is black skinny jeans, skirts - long and medium (rarely short), dark colors or monochrome (b/w/g), earth and metal tones, turtle neck sweaters and button down shirts (hazards of working at a coffee shop - i tend to dress for work *all the time*). So... opinions?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby PictureSarah » Sun Nov 08, 2009 7:28 pm UTC

Ok, I am going to crush your dreams a little bit here, and say DON'T go with the cape. Or anything cape-like. Yes, they look pretty, and in another environment I'm sure they would be brilliant, but I have lived the pedestrian life in Boston through 5 winters. The cape might be enough to keep you warm, but the wind will go up under it like nobody's business. Boston is SO windy in the winter, and windchill is a very real thing. I suggest something long-ish (knee-length) and either wool or down insulated. Not nearly as fashionable as the pretty coats you posted, but I'm not sure you are quite grasping what, say, a walk from the Hive to Sullivan feels like when it's 17 degrees, but with windchill it "feels like" -3.

The coat that I bought when I moved to Boston is a Kenneth Cole wool peacoat that reaches about to my knees. I got it on Overstock.com for $89ish, and it is VERY warm. Although, you should factor some really good gloves into the cost, and perhaps knit yourself some scarves and hats. I also invested in a few pairs of silk longjohns for layering. Cold Boston is Cold. I actually had my eyelashes freeze shut once while walking down the street because the wind was stinging my eyes and making them tear up. You know things are bad when the snowplow driver offers you a ride.

Ok, I am done lecturing. I just don't want you to be a parkasicle!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby parkaboy » Sun Nov 08, 2009 8:22 pm UTC

Yeeeah, the only reason I figured on the cape is because i can put LOTS OF THINGS under it. Its a lot of fabric, more than that picture makes it look. I will keep looking, then. Because none of those seem like they would cut it for that kind of wind chill except for the bomber jacket, which is short. It seals around your hips and collar and wrists and has about three layers of fabric on it. Its... just short =(
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Rinsaikeru » Sun Nov 08, 2009 9:05 pm UTC

My winter coat is a brown houndstooth wool--knee length with buttons and belt. Quite warm, big enough
to layer under. Good enough for Toronto winters, which are cold and windy too.

Mittens are warmer than gloves btw.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby crickets » Sun Nov 08, 2009 10:35 pm UTC

Denby rocks the mid-thigh woolen coat, usually with a zip up hoodie or sweater underneath and says she's warm.

I, however, am stuck in a knee length down filled jacket that belonged to my mom. It is SO WARM, and with proper layers is good to -35 C, but dang is it unattractive. But i am from the land of Sorel boots, neckwarmers, gloves under gloves under mittens, and three pairs of socks.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby mochafairy » Sun Nov 08, 2009 11:49 pm UTC

I suggest getting some thermal underwear (or something like under armour)to wear under clothes if you're really not used to the cold. Make sure that your shoes are water proof, especially with the snow!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby podbaydoor » Sun Nov 08, 2009 11:59 pm UTC

nthed on the long underwear/under-armor. It makes a HUGE difference, especially in windy environments. Also the long thigh or knee length coats seem to provide the more protection against wind chill for the most amount of your body.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Rinsaikeru » Mon Nov 09, 2009 12:16 am UTC

I <3 my sorel boots. Best slush busters ever, warm and dry and cute if you like clompy. I have under armor too-keeps my legs happy.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Sungura » Mon Nov 09, 2009 1:02 am UTC

Still on my own hunt for boots. I found these but no returns? I don't know anything about how they feel or fit. One thing I have noticed is that I like the lace-up look, and I like the semi-pattern bit of these and the design. Not sure if the heel is too much? Doesn't seem too bad. But anyway, I can't find many lace-up boots and I want ones I could try on, or if I order that I can return if they don't work right. Any more thoughts?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Isotope_238 » Mon Nov 09, 2009 1:15 am UTC

Heels+ice=bad idea. I'd go for flat boots with treads for walking in the winter. Insulated boots are good, too. You can also buy attractive boots a little large and wear warm socks.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Rinsaikeru » Mon Nov 09, 2009 1:40 am UTC

I can't walk on ice with heels either... But you might be better with heels.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - #sharkweek on irc.foonetic.net

Postby Sungura » Mon Nov 09, 2009 1:49 am UTC

I've never worn heels. There isn't much ice around...now that I work at the VA the parking garage is attached to the building even. I'm willing to give it a try, even if they won't be for fresh-fallen-snow-weather (then again, I wouldn't wear my skirts in fresh-fallen-snow since they'd just get wet at the bottoms!)

I would love to go almost-no-heel-no-heel, but I can't find any styles that I like...because I like the lace up look, and all of those seem to be either really clunky base, way too goth, way too slutty, or tall narrow heels. These are the first low chunkier heel lace up I've found.

Grah finding boots I like is harder than it seems.
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