[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Things that don't belong anywhere else. (Check first).

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Narsil
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Postby Narsil » Sat Jul 14, 2007 3:46 pm UTC

Is it possible for a girl's cycle to be influenced by a guy? (Ha ha yeah-they can completely stop it!)

But no, my girlfriend has told me that her's has been extremely regular for the past few months that we've been together- like on the exact same day each month, which is extremely odd for her. So I was just curious if that was possible.
Spoiler:
EsotericWombat wrote:MORE JUNK THAN YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOR

Mother Superior wrote:What's he got that I dont?
*sees Narsil's sig*
Oh... that.

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Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Sat Jul 14, 2007 3:48 pm UTC

Someone Who Isn't CatProximity wrote:I really appreciate the female form, and would consider myself to be mildly bi-curious. I think it's part of that sensuality thing again.

See, this just reinforces my belief that lesbianism is the natural way of things, and men screwed it up. Women are, in general, dang-diddly gorgeous, and I can't blame any of the 3 girls who've dumped me so that they could date a girl. Really, I can't compare in the slightest. It's not even a contest.

Also, Pepper is an awesome song.
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Narsil
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Postby Narsil » Sat Jul 14, 2007 3:54 pm UTC

Mighty Jalapeno wrote:
CatProximity wrote:I really appreciate the female form, and would consider myself to be mildly bi-curious. I think it's part of that sensuality thing again.

See, this just reinforces my belief that lesbianism is the natural way of things, and men screwed it up. Women are, in general, dang-diddly gorgeous, and I can't blame any of the 3 girls who've dumped me so that they could date a girl. Really, I can't compare in the slightest. It's not even a contest.

Also, Pepper is an awesome song.
I operate under the theory that if women ever figured out how to make children without men (and still make it as much fun as it currently is), men would soon die out.

So, I treat my woman right, in the hopes that when this overthrow of men does come, I'll be kept as a love-slave or some such.
Spoiler:
EsotericWombat wrote:MORE JUNK THAN YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOR

Mother Superior wrote:What's he got that I dont?
*sees Narsil's sig*
Oh... that.

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Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Sat Jul 14, 2007 3:59 pm UTC

My wife will need me around to cook and clean...

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Narsil
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Postby Narsil » Sat Jul 14, 2007 4:01 pm UTC

UNLESS WE HAVE ROBOTS FOR THAT ZOMG
Spoiler:
EsotericWombat wrote:MORE JUNK THAN YOUR BODY HAS ROOM FOR

Mother Superior wrote:What's he got that I dont?
*sees Narsil's sig*
Oh... that.


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Postby the Cow » Sat Jul 14, 2007 4:14 pm UTC

It is my impression that the whole of male human endeavor was done and will be done in a futile attempt to impress women.
...the whim of a hat.

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Postby Princess Marzipan » Sat Jul 14, 2007 4:23 pm UTC

Mighty Jalapeno wrote:My wife will need me around to cook and clean...

Narsil wrote:UNLESS WE HAVE ROBOTS FOR THAT ZOMG

No thanks. I'd rather sit here make out with my Marilyn Monrobot.

Also, perspective-on-the-female-orgasm++; thanks, ladies!
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Postby Sprocket » Sat Jul 14, 2007 4:24 pm UTC

Bakemaster wrote:
CatProximity wrote:This whole kegel muscle contraction thing sounds like noodles, cinnamon and raisins.

I'm going to have to ask my Rabbi how to say WIN in Hebrew.
wouldn't it be Gimmel?

Narsil wrote:
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:
CatProximity wrote:I really appreciate the female form, and would consider myself to be mildly bi-curious. I think it's part of that sensuality thing again.
I didn't say that.
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Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Sat Jul 14, 2007 4:38 pm UTC

Yes you did. Go back a page.

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Postby Bakemaster » Sat Jul 14, 2007 4:47 pm UTC

CreemyNougat wrote:No thanks. I'd rather sit here make out with my Marilyn Monrobot.

Not to be confused with the Marilyn Manrobot. That would be one serious invoicing error.
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Postby lesliesage » Sat Jul 14, 2007 6:01 pm UTC

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Postby gmalivuk » Sat Jul 14, 2007 6:23 pm UTC

hermaj wrote:I thought it was going to be about lady things, like yeast infections


Not that there's anything wrong with a sex thread, but we already have a couple of those going, under other names. Come on, people, bring back the grossness. Probably there are so many guys posting here now because they noticed less need to merely skim posts with the decline in discussions of uterine chunks and the like. :-)

(Also, until hermaj posted that, I was seriously wondering if I might need to be the one to bring up the yeasties, even though I've never had an infection myself, and I only ever had one girlfriend who had one during the time we were together.)
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Postby Lani » Sat Jul 14, 2007 7:31 pm UTC

the Cow wrote:
lani wrote:The real issue with that, too, is that it reveals that it's not about me - it's about his ego. I'm very vocal and I make it known when I'm feeling good. I hate that my pleasure is minimized and the only thing that's important is having the notch in your belt for making a girl orgasm, you know?


I've been married to the same girl for 22 years and we have been with each other for almost 30 years - so, I have no belt and certainly no notches. And I don't want to imply that I am representative in any way of any segment of any population. But, I would like to say that I absolutely love the female orgasm, even if I am not directly the cause of it. I enjoy being there. I love seeing it and feeling it as it moves through her. I love the slowness and beauty of it. I love the way she looks and feels and sounds as she comes. Outside of my love for a handful of people, the female orgasm may be my favorite "thing" in the world.


Ah, my statement was to be taken in context of the first paragraph - in which he focused on having been able to get every other to orgasm, and what was wrong with me that I couldn't...that's why I was frustrated.
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Postby Lani » Sat Jul 14, 2007 7:47 pm UTC

Mighty Jalapeno wrote:Yes you did. Go back a page.


That was me, actually; she quoted me but the quote tags were messed up so it looked like she said it. :)
- Lani



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Postby Mighty Jalapeno » Sat Jul 14, 2007 8:04 pm UTC

lani wrote:
Mighty Jalapeno wrote:Yes you did. Go back a page.


That was me, actually; she quoted me but the quote tags were messed up so it looked like she said it. :)

Ah.... sorry, cat! Good ol' Quantum Boobs appreciates the female form more than you....

All I know if yeast infections is my daughter got one in her mouth last month, and that was bad enough.

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Postby PictureSarah » Sat Jul 14, 2007 8:31 pm UTC

Meaux_Pas wrote:You know, I had that one first boyfriend with whom I would fake my orgasm, and I don't think I ever faked it because I wanted him to feel good about himself... I think my main reason was, "Ok, I'm tired, or this hurts, if he thinks I orgasmed then he won't hold his back, and this will be over faster."


This brings up a subject that's much less fun than orgasms but that I've recently been wondering about. The more people I talk to the more I tend to think that sexual assaults are MUCH more common than most people think. I know we (Meaux and I) have compared notes about it and I don't believe either of us were terribly surprised to find that we had both had those sorts of encounters, unfortunately.

I have been the unhappy recipient of unwanted sex on several occasions, from three different guys. The thought still crosses my mind on occasion that I have some kind of invisible stamp on my forehead that inspires violence in certain men. For the most part, I am now "symptom free." Ladies, I certainly don't mean to pick at emotional scabs here, but have you dealt with unwanted sexual situations?
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Postby tessuraea » Sat Jul 14, 2007 9:00 pm UTC

I'm a rape survivor. I think a lot of us probably are. It was a long time ago for me--but it was also my first time having sex.

I'll gladly make myself available as a resource for others who have to work through the aftereffects of sexual assault. At this point in my life, it's rarely an issue, but there are still things I can't stand--like being cornered against a wall, especially if there's a sharp edge of some sort behind me (a doorjamb, a windowsill). Being trapped. Various other things that are still triggers.

For me, it seemed like I had to have all the flashbacks to get better, but they got less vivid over time. And, like Meaux, it definitely influenced my level of sexual honesty later.

I want to talk about other stuff in this thread, but it seems strange to put it in the same post.
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Postby kilgore trout » Sat Jul 14, 2007 9:09 pm UTC

tessuraea and picture sara,

I think a lot of females would have something to add to the question about unwanted sexual experiences, but this thread doesn't seem like the right place to start it. Maybe we could move the conversation over to serious business? I would start a new thread there, but I want to make sure there is enough interest to warrant it, and I feel vulnerable being the one to start it. So if someone is braver than me?

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Postby zazou » Sat Jul 14, 2007 9:17 pm UTC

yeastinfections: i actually have a serious tip on that, ladies: some women seem to get them like constantly. If so, you should get your bloodsugarlevel tested. Apparently, that could be an indication of diabetes. Same applies to men too, actually: if you tend to get yeastinfections at the feet. I never got them - nor the diabetes for that matter - but a few familymembers did.

sexual assault: i guess i've been lucky so far. a friend of mine had a really bad experience. Don't wanna give the specifics 'cause i believe that 's not up to me, but it involved 4 guys, a gunpoint and some more shitty stuff. today i admire her greatly for being a strong and still nice and optimistic person. i came across some statistics one day but i can't remember the exact numbers 'though "1 outta 4" keeps floating around in the back of my head. Dunno if that's accurate. hugs for all girls here with bad experiences.
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Postby Lani » Sat Jul 14, 2007 9:22 pm UTC

tessuraea wrote:For me, it seemed like I had to have all the flashbacks to get better, but they got less vivid over time.


Actually, many believe a crucial part of dealing with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is directly confronting the memories, talking about them with others in detail, facing it, and being open. Repression is about the worst thing one can do.

I'm really glad things are better for you two, tess and picturesarah..
- Lani



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Postby tessuraea » Sat Jul 14, 2007 9:25 pm UTC

Serious business tends to be for arguments and debates. I would be a bit leery of trying to talk about survivor stuff there. Someone might jump into the thread with a comment like "I think you're all making a big deal out of nothing" or "women shouldn't wear revealing clothing" or "don't you hate it when the courts believe the women instead of the men." None of those are discussions I want to have.

We could just take the whole discussion to PMs, if people are uncomfortable discussing it in this thread? I like this thread, so far. :)

As for girlie TMI stuff... I have a strange situation. I have something called PCOS (google if interested) that screws up my hormones. I pretty much don't menstruate, which is less fun than it sounds. I also have way more testosterone than most women and I can't count on my hormone mix to settle down. I went off my birth control pills--which I was taking as much for hormone replacement as birth control, since I'm highly unlikely to conceive--and had three months of actual periods! One month-ish apart, really just incredibly slow flow, practically seepage really. PMS, though! Crazy hormonal mood swings! I'm back on birth control now, because my husband and I don't want kids quite yet, but I'm on the mini-pill now, just progestin. Waiting to see how it treats me. Haven't noticed any side effects at all so far.

I'm just psyched that my ovaries are apparently clued in that they're supposed to make estrogen, now. When we do decide to have kids, I have a better chance of getting pregnant. This is worth celebrating.
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Postby chrispy1 » Sat Jul 14, 2007 10:11 pm UTC

i had a yeast infection once in my um...Mr. Happy. That was most unpleasant - I can honestly say I don't know how ladies handle it.

To anyone that's been through any sort of sexual assault or traumatic experience, your strength and ability to talk about it impresses the shite out of me. And as someone who's worked with enough sexually abused kids to last me a life time (this at a time when I was just out of my teen years), this was one of those situations where having these idiot men out there made me mad to be a guy; but on the other hand, I was always told by people that "It's good that you're showing them not all guys are evil". Yeah, that was a rough time in my life, but at the same time rewarding. This is the most I've talked about it to anyone, ever. And in fact is making me tear up right now. OK, hitting "Submit".

eta: happy for ya tess!! that rocks!!
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Postby Belial » Sat Jul 14, 2007 10:17 pm UTC

tessurea wrote:Serious business tends to be for arguments and debates. I would be a bit leery of trying to talk about survivor stuff there. Someone might jump into the thread with a comment like "I think you're all making a big deal out of nothing" or "women shouldn't wear revealing clothing" or "don't you hate it when the courts believe the women instead of the men." None of those are discussions I want to have.


I would also recommend keeping it out of SB. It just invites some folk to start "Devils Advocating" and generally making everything bad. Not to mention it's just not the right place for it. What you're looking for is more of a support and social feel. General's probably the place for it.

If you want to do this here, or in another thread in General, please do. If there are any posts made in the thread that you feel are....inappropriate....let me know and I'll have a look at them and possibly make them vanish.

I think this discussion is a good idea, and I'd hate to have it chased underground due to the boards being an unsafe place for it.
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They/them

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tessuraea
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Postby tessuraea » Sat Jul 14, 2007 10:23 pm UTC

Thanks, Chris. :)

I don't think I've ever had a yeast infection, but it's hard to say. I'm one of the people who is quite stoic *and* doesn't have symptoms of a lot of things. I had a UTI once and didn't find out until I was in the hospital for something completely unrelated. I could have had it for a long time.

If you're a woman (or man, I guess) prone to yeast infections, there are a couple major things that can help. First, eat lots of yogurt or drink kefir--you want active probiotics. That will help get you more beneficial bacteria. The other thing seems backward to a lot of people: stop washing your genitals. You can use water, but don't use anything detergent-based. No bubble baths, either. People have mixed results with bath oils, but probably if they're actual essential oils you'd be okay... not sure. But *no* detergents. Oh, and if you use lube, make sure it's not one of the fancy flavored ones--they have sugar in them, and sugar is yeast-food.

I had a girlfriend who got yeast infections very, very easily, which is part of how I learned this stuff.

Some people have luck with eating very acidic foods to try to decrease the pH of the vaginal area, too.

Edit to add: Belial, you rock. Thank you.
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Postby wocket » Sat Jul 14, 2007 10:34 pm UTC

Hint: yeast infections can be caused by antibiotics.
I found this out the hard way. Take yeast pills when you're on antibiotics!

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Postby kilgore trout » Sat Jul 14, 2007 10:40 pm UTC

I suggested Serious Business because I was concerned about people being devil's advocates, or saying extremely offensive things in general. But, it does sound like SB is not the best idea, so everyone be considerate or I will report you to the mods!

My past involves a great deal of serious sexual abuse at a very young age. The abuse was hell, and in no way excusable. However, it did lead me to seriously discuss sexuality at an age when most girls are still giggling saying the word penis. I was lucky enough to have a therapist that encouraged me to accept my sexuality, and to realize sex is not a bad thing, it's the people who abuse that are bad.

I firmly believe that a culture that deems sex as dirty, and discourages open discussion of sexuality in all forms (masturbation, homo and hetero) is a culture that indirectly is permitting sexual abuse to continue.

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Postby Belial » Sat Jul 14, 2007 10:41 pm UTC

I firmly believe that a culture that deems sex as dirty, and discourages open discussion of sexuality in all forms (masturbation, homo and hetero) is a culture that indirectly is permitting sexual abuse to continue.


Interesting. Can you expand on that point? I see how both of those things are bad, but not quite how they're connected.
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They/them

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Postby tessuraea » Sat Jul 14, 2007 10:50 pm UTC

kilgore trout wrote: I firmly believe that a culture that deems sex as dirty, and discourages open discussion of sexuality in all forms (masturbation, homo and hetero) is a culture that indirectly is permitting sexual abuse to continue.


I agree with you here. People *will* find ways to get sexual gratification, and having a cultural taboo around talking about sex openly leads to all kinds of problems... people who think sex is dirty and wrong are quite likely to become rapists, actually. Ick. And of course, people who have been victimized can't speak openly about what's happened to them, and they don't hear other stories. They usually feel very, very alone, and powerless.

It's a horrible thing. American society is seriously sexually screwed-up... we don't like talking about it openly and honestly, but at the same time we use it to sell *everything* and it's on magazine covers everywhere. And the public image of sexuality is not very much like actual healthy human sexuality. Then we have government-funded initiatives to encourage adults to abstain from sex before marriage... I mean geez.

Sex is one of those things that's pretty much universally human. We have different levels of sex drive (*nods to the asexuals around*) and different ways of acting on the impulse... but, speaking about groups rather than individuals, sex is *going* to happen, in some form. Better to talk about it and set down some guidelines for people about what that form should be...
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Postby zazou » Sat Jul 14, 2007 10:50 pm UTC

kilgore trout wrote:I firmly believe that a culture that deems sex as dirty, and discourages open discussion of sexuality in all forms (masturbation, homo and hetero) is a culture that indirectly is permitting sexual abuse to continue.


word.
and @ Belial: i believe because it's easier for a society to deal with any form of abuse where there's an open debate culture; where things can be discussed in a more or less objective (or at least intersubjective) way without the immediate implication of all sorts of 'moral' labels.
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Postby prime » Sat Jul 14, 2007 11:03 pm UTC

Belial wrote:
I firmly believe that a culture that deems sex as dirty, and discourages open discussion of sexuality in all forms (masturbation, homo and hetero) is a culture that indirectly is permitting sexual abuse to continue.

Interesting. Can you expand on that point? I see how both of those things are bad, but not quite how they're connected.

Maybe it is the same as one argument for legalizing all drugs: that people only do drugs because they are so "bad." The thrill of doing something taboo, if you will. I've also heard that high schoolers are less likely to drink alcohol when given permission by their parents to do so. Of course, having sex isn't banned, but sex in general and certain kinds of sexuality have negative connotations in society.

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Postby lesliesage » Sat Jul 14, 2007 11:19 pm UTC

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Postby solarchem » Sun Jul 15, 2007 12:17 am UTC

kilgore trout wrote:I firmly believe that a culture that deems sex as dirty, and discourages open discussion of sexuality in all forms (masturbation, homo and hetero) is a culture that indirectly is permitting sexual abuse to continue.


I agree that we have issues with repression and abuse, but I'm not convinced they're connected. Or maybe some types of sex crimes are but others aren't. I always thought rape was more about power than sex, so I'm not so sure having a more open discussion on sex would reduce rapes.

I think the problem in the US is more due to the fact that the victim suffers all over again if she presses charges and has to take the witness stand. Combine that with the degree of difficulty in getting a conviction plus the lack of any meaningful jail time and you end up with a situation where there really isn't much of a deterrent.

Us men need to be more vocal as well. Too often guys think it's OK to coerce/pressure women or try to get them drunk with the intention of trying to take advantage of them later. What you don't hear often enough is someone speaking up and saying "Well, you better not succeed. Because if you do and I find out about it, I'm going to cut your fucking nuts off"
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Postby kilgore trout » Sun Jul 15, 2007 12:19 am UTC

Interesting. Can you expand on that point? I see how both of those things are bad, but not quite how they're connected.


A sexual predators greatest weapon is secrecy (more so in pedophilia). A pedophile will go to great lengths to groom their intended victim. Before any abuse takes place, the victim will already hold the beliefs that they are the cause of the abuse, or that somehow something horrible will happen should they tell of what is happening (with the exception of random attacks).

An open environment that allows for the discussion of sex allows a victim to speak of her/his victimization, with less fear of ridicule or shame. It also empowers a victim to understand what is happening is wrong, and what they can do about it. If a person is discouraged from speaking about their concerns and curiosities regarding sex (before they become a victim) they will have greater difficulty in coming forward about what has happened.

Also, a victim will often blame themselves for what occurred, especially if the attacker was a family member or friend, out of loyalty to that person. This feeling of personal responsibility in the victim creates a fear of punishment, discipline, or not being believed should they report the attack.

I have had a lot of experience working with females who have been raped and abused. One girl I worked with was raped at the age of 19 by a police officer, that was also a family friend. She was taught not to discuss sex, and that sex was something that only happened between a married couple. Her only discussion about sex with her mother had been when she was 13 and asked what sex was. Her mother's reply was if you were not married and had sex, than you were not obeying God's law. It took her 10 years of serious therapy to be able to even talk about what happened to her. Part of this was because of ignorance; she didn't know the terms to describe what this man did to her until she had children.

I hope this post answers your question. If you need clarifying, I will gladly do so.

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Postby crazyjimbo » Sun Jul 15, 2007 12:25 am UTC

lesliesage wrote: Anyone relate to body/muscle/exercise/love it/hate it stuff?
EDIT: this is not an invitation for boys to state what body types the prefer in women. but join in if you have something to say about your own body image.


I used to be quite into my body image when I did regular running training, but since going to university, I've seriously cut back on my exercise and gotten a little 'podgy'. Nothing too bad, but not the wash board stomach I used to have. Best thing is, now I don't care. I'm not unhealthy, so it's kind of a best of both worlds thing - when I was toned I loved it, and now I'm not, I couldn't care less. :P

Baggy clothes make the whole point moot anyway. *3 cheers for baggy clothes!*

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Postby Joeldi » Sun Jul 15, 2007 1:01 am UTC

I'm underweight, and It's not pretty.
I rarely move (exagerration) but I have a fairly good diet, which leads to having your ribs sticking out when you exhale, and these teeny dangly things called arms hanging off your shoulders.

The bad part is that in less than a week, I have to go on stage without a shirt on, showing off my Mr Burns esque physique to half my school.
I already have a hate thread. Necromancy > redundancy here, so post there.

roc314 wrote:America is a police state that communicates in txt speak...

"i hav teh dissentors brb""¡This cheese is burning me! u pwnd them bff""thx ur cool 2"

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parkaboy
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Postby parkaboy » Sun Jul 15, 2007 1:06 am UTC

i'm still scratching my head at possibly being a "rape victem" because it started out unwanted, but not completely unexpected and just turned into freaking awesome. it wasnt until a few days later that my brain went "uhm hi. you said stop, seriously, and he didnt. something is off here. THINK woman."

that might have just been a defense mechanism to keep me from missing a guy oceans away from me. i DID enjoy it, 80% anyway.
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Back in our day we had to walk uphill both ways through the snow on fire without feet to get fucking terrible relationship advice from disinterested and socially maladjusted nerds. Belial

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athelas
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Postby athelas » Sun Jul 15, 2007 1:41 am UTC

the Cow wrote:It is my impression that the whole of male human endeavor was done and will be done in a futile attempt to impress women.


Considering we're still here, there must have been a fair success rate.

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Lani
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Postby Lani » Sun Jul 15, 2007 3:35 am UTC

You know, I think this is the best thread on the fora. I feel like the girls are bonding, and it's great!

*hugs to everyone* :)
- Lani



"They think they're so high and mighty, just because they never got caught driving without pants."

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parkaboy
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Postby parkaboy » Sun Jul 15, 2007 3:38 am UTC

it is rather nice to get this stuff out. and, more, to have people identify rather than empathize. i think this is better therapy than any i could pay for.
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Back in our day we had to walk uphill both ways through the snow on fire without feet to get fucking terrible relationship advice from disinterested and socially maladjusted nerds. Belial


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