[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

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Aightynine
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aightynine » Fri May 27, 2011 11:22 pm UTC

SamaraLexx wrote:Question - I know there's the old cliche about how bitchy, for lack of a better word, women get during PMS. But does anyone here get super duper depressed? Every month for a couple of days, all of a sudden I'm just unbelievably sad. I almost called in sick today because I didn't want my coworkers to see I had been crying this morning.

Then I look at the calendar and I'm like "OOOOH, that explains that." At least, I assume that's what it is.

Does that happen to anyone else? Depression during PMS?

(Side note - I have five brothers, and pretty much all my friends my whole life have been guys, so there's some chick stuff that I just don't know, like normal PMS symptoms for instance)


The thing about "normal PMS symptoms," from what I understand, is that it's fairly variable between individuals. :) Personally, I don't really get depressed, but I am more prone to bawling my eyes out when I normally wouldn't and everything tends to feel a lot more dramatic/life-or-death than it is. (Although, since I just started taking the pill, all this could go out the window for me. *shrug* We'll see what happens.)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby fredded » Sat May 28, 2011 6:00 am UTC

I don't get more depressed necessarily, but I call the effect having a short wick.
I can burst into anger or sadness at the slightness touch.
The weird thing is at the same time realising how extreme my response is.

oh and hello! :D

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Plasmic-Turtle » Sat May 28, 2011 7:48 am UTC

SamaraLexx wrote:Does that happen to anyone else? Depression during PMS?

Oh hell yes. My PMS 'norm' is to have a burst of irritation and anger where I feel incredibly irritable and want to yell at people and throw things against walls, followed very quickly by crying and depression. The depression phase was so bad in my teens that Mum took me to talk to the Dr. about it because I'd verge on suicidal. Nowadays I find the severity of my PMS, and even whether or not I experience it at all, is largely dependent on whether I've had enough sleep, been eating right and whether there's much else going on to contribute to unhappy emotions. But when I do get it, it usually follows that same pattern, and the first show of blood will be on the same day or at the latest the day after.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby ameretrifle » Sat May 28, 2011 8:20 am UTC

Yeah, usually I don't get outright depressed, just more... emotionally volatile, both ways. The traditional "Oh my god why am I crying at this stupid song". And I think I've learned that there'll be some depressive thoughts/ideas around then that I just have to ignore, because I won't believe them next week. I definitely would believe full-out depression, though, because holy shit, trying to get back on the pill. >_>

Also, this:
podbaydoor wrote:My periods are variable enough that I never know what to attribute to PMS and what to attribute to an erratic diet and intermittent exercise.
I was on the pill for *years*, and nearly a year off it, I'm still trying to figure the timing out. XD I need to start trying to keep proper track. Maybe with one of those awesome websites people keep linking in here.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existential_elevator » Sat May 28, 2011 9:02 am UTC

Definitely recommend using a website for tracking. At the moment I use two, though of the two I prefer monthly.info - it is pretty good at actually calculating your average and then you can set up e-mail reminders however long you want before you're meant to be menstrual. The other one I use doesn't calculate your average, it just uses "the" average, which is kind of pointless.

Personally, I have no idea if I PMS. I don't think I do. I get rage-y sometimes, and sad sometimes, but it doesn't seem to correlate. I'd rather treat the whole experience as part of being human rather than tie it up with hormones.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby katethegreat » Mon May 30, 2011 4:24 am UTC

So, woman thread, guess who has a date? Kate! :). A guy who I liked (one of those longterm crushes you never act on because you feel it couldn't possibly turn into something) started talking to me again out of the blue today. He used to be in my math class, but he switched out and I basically haven't seen him in months. Apparently he's been trying to tell me he likes me for a while, but I never have the Facebook tab open at the right times and miss his messages. :|
So first question for y'all: what should I do if I think he's taking it too fast? It's not like he's asking to hook up or anything, but he's calling me "Hun" and just being really upfront how he really likes me and can't wait to see me and really misses me and didn't want to drop that class because he wanted to stay with me. It's just all rather sudden, you know? :oops:

Another question: while I'm not planning to have sex with him, I started taking birth control a week ago to stop Shark Week for the summer. I'm going on a canoe trip for 2 weeks, and I don't want to deal with any more than I have to. Is it a huge problem if I'm off by a few hours when taking the pill? I started with 6:30 pm, but usually I end up taking it at 7:30 or, like today, 9:30. Oops. I take Levora, which the web says is a generic version of Nordette.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aightynine » Mon May 30, 2011 7:31 am UTC

katethegreat wrote:So, woman thread, guess who has a date? Kate! :). A guy who I liked (one of those longterm crushes you never act on because you feel it couldn't possibly turn into something) started talking to me again out of the blue today. He used to be in my math class, but he switched out and I basically haven't seen him in months. Apparently he's been trying to tell me he likes me for a while, but I never have the Facebook tab open at the right times and miss his messages. :|
So first question for y'all: what should I do if I think he's taking it too fast? It's not like he's asking to hook up or anything, but he's calling me "Hun" and just being really upfront how he really likes me and can't wait to see me and really misses me and didn't want to drop that class because he wanted to stay with me. It's just all rather sudden, you know? :oops:

Another question: while I'm not planning to have sex with him, I started taking birth control a week ago to stop Shark Week for the summer. I'm going on a canoe trip for 2 weeks, and I don't want to deal with any more than I have to. Is it a huge problem if I'm off by a few hours when taking the pill? I started with 6:30 pm, but usually I end up taking it at 7:30 or, like today, 9:30. Oops. I take Levora, which the web says is a generic version of Nordette.


Hi, Kate, congrats on the date! :) If you're uncomfortable with anything he's doing/saying, to any extent, I'd say it's best to let him know sooner rather than later. Gently, of course--I'd make it clear that you're still interested in him (at least, I'm assuming that's the case).

As for the birth control question...it is a combined pill, no? From what I understand, being off by a few hours isn't going to be too big of a deal in that case (though they do work better the more diligent you are about it). Progestin only pills are the ones you really have to be careful with. *Insert "but I am not an expert, ask your doctor to be sure" disclaimer here*
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aaeriele » Tue May 31, 2011 7:44 pm UTC

Spoilered because this is completely personal and not topic-related at all, just a lot of the people that I would want to read it read this thread. Potential trigger warning.

Spoiler:
My father killed himself yesterday. The funeral is on Saturday.

Posting this because I'd wind up telling people here anyways and it's simpler to post it once than go through the stress of telling people individually. No, I don't really want to talk at length about it; talking with lots of people is tiring and not really a part of my coping mechanism. Hugs are okay though.
Vaniver wrote:Harvard is a hedge fund that runs the most prestigious dating agency in the world, and incidentally employs famous scientists to do research.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby pseudoidiot » Tue May 31, 2011 7:48 pm UTC

Spoiler:
Having had someone close to me kill themselves recently, I have an idea of how you feel, so many many *hugs*
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Amie » Tue May 31, 2011 8:21 pm UTC

*hugs* for Aaeri.
Summer is miles and miles away, and no one would ask me to stay.
And I, should contemplate this change... to ease the pain.
And I, should step out of the rain... turn away.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Enuja » Tue May 31, 2011 9:53 pm UTC

Oh, Aaeriele, I am so sorry to hear that. I have no words, but you've got all the hugs I've got, as long as you need them or want them.

*hugs*

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby GraphiteGirl » Wed Jun 01, 2011 12:08 am UTC

*all the hugs*
...
*a couple more hugs*
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby ameretrifle » Wed Jun 01, 2011 12:46 am UTC

*hugs*

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existential_squirrrel » Wed Jun 01, 2011 3:04 am UTC

lots and lots of hugs. I am so sorry for your loss, Aaeriele.
courage is about knowing when to pick yourself up and whisper to yourself, "I will try again tomorrow"
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Shivahn » Wed Jun 01, 2011 3:16 am UTC

*Hugs*

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby poxic » Wed Jun 01, 2011 3:26 am UTC

*double hugs*
*double hugs*
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby PictureSarah » Wed Jun 01, 2011 3:58 am UTC

I'm so sorry, Aaeriele. Please add my hugs to the pile.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Isotope_238 » Wed Jun 01, 2011 4:10 am UTC

I'm so sorry, Aaeriele.
*more hugs*

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby katethegreat » Wed Jun 01, 2011 4:17 am UTC

*Huuuuuuuuuuuuuugs this wide* :(

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aightynine » Wed Jun 01, 2011 4:19 am UTC

*Lots o' hugs*
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existentialpanda » Wed Jun 01, 2011 6:49 am UTC

Major hugs.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existential_elevator » Wed Jun 01, 2011 8:06 am UTC

pseudoidiot wrote:
Spoiler:
Having had someone close to me kill themselves recently, I have an idea of how you feel, so many many *hugs*

I second the above, but remove the "recently". So many hugs :(

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Amarantha » Wed Jun 01, 2011 11:50 am UTC

*many hugs for Aaeriele*

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aaeriele » Wed Jun 01, 2011 6:50 pm UTC

Thank you all.
Vaniver wrote:Harvard is a hedge fund that runs the most prestigious dating agency in the world, and incidentally employs famous scientists to do research.

afuzzyduck wrote:ITS MEANT TO BE FLUTTERSHY BUT I JUST SEE AAERIELE! CURSE YOU FORA!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Wed Jun 01, 2011 8:00 pm UTC

(((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))
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she/<any gender neutral>/snug

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Plasmic-Turtle » Wed Jun 01, 2011 11:01 pm UTC

(((HUGGLES))) from me too, Aaeriele.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby podbaydoor » Wed Jun 01, 2011 11:06 pm UTC

*big hugs* We're here for you.
tenet |ˈtenit|
noun
a principle or belief, esp. one of the main principles of a religion or philosophy : the tenets of classical liberalism.
tenant |ˈtenənt|
noun
a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby semicharmed » Thu Jun 02, 2011 7:58 am UTC

I'm late to the hugs bandwagon, but ***hugs***.

I'd offer cake, too, but unlike hugs, cream-cheese frosting does go rancid.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby crowey » Thu Jun 02, 2011 11:54 am UTC

Slightly belated HUGS from me too.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby mochafairy » Fri Jun 03, 2011 3:10 am UTC

Hugs from me as well
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Kaelri » Fri Jun 03, 2011 10:40 am UTC

I'm not a woman, but can I offer hugs as well?

*hugs*

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aaeriele » Mon Jun 06, 2011 2:08 am UTC

Posting this from the plane on the way back from the service yesterday. There were a lot of people there... which was nice in a way but also really daunting/overwhelming. I wound up pretty much fleeing the reception afterwards, sitting outside with a close friend of the family until some of the crowd cleared up. Have I mentioned that I don't like crowds? Like... really, really don't like crowds.

But at least it's over now.
Vaniver wrote:Harvard is a hedge fund that runs the most prestigious dating agency in the world, and incidentally employs famous scientists to do research.

afuzzyduck wrote:ITS MEANT TO BE FLUTTERSHY BUT I JUST SEE AAERIELE! CURSE YOU FORA!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sandry » Mon Jun 06, 2011 2:12 am UTC

*hugs, again*

I hear you on the crowds thing. Particularly when it's people who don't know you that well, but nonetheless feel like they ought to talk to you. I'm glad you had someone else to steal some out of the way time with.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby KestrelLowing » Mon Jun 06, 2011 4:19 pm UTC

(((Aaeriele))) At least the crowds are over and done now.

Spoilered for off topic and slight rant/disappointment:
Spoiler:
I am so, so glad that I have a boyfriend who really likes the fact that I am somewhat intelligent. In the last 4 days I've had at least 3 people tell me that I shouldn't go to grad school because 'men will be intimidated'. Well, if they're intimidated by shy, introverted, socially awkward me, they certainly aren't worth it.

And besides - I am in a quite healthy relationship that has been going on for nearly three years. I think we're going to be ok, and it's not like I'm going to emasculate him if I get a masters degree. He's encouraging it!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby GraphiteGirl » Mon Jun 06, 2011 4:27 pm UTC

KestrelLowing wrote: In the last 4 days I've had at least 3 people tell me that I shouldn't go to grad school because 'men will be intimidated'.
Wow. If it's ok to ask, which people in your life thought that was a reasonable thing to say? Are they people who already know your boyfriend? ...wow. I've encountered a lot of fascinating brands of sexism, but for some reason no one I know has ever had that one pulled on them. Incredible.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby KestrelLowing » Mon Jun 06, 2011 4:40 pm UTC

GraphiteGirl wrote:
KestrelLowing wrote: In the last 4 days I've had at least 3 people tell me that I shouldn't go to grad school because 'men will be intimidated'.
Wow. If it's ok to ask, which people in your life thought that was a reasonable thing to say? Are they people who already know your boyfriend? ...wow. I've encountered a lot of fascinating brands of sexism, but for some reason no one I know has ever had that one pulled on them. Incredible.


Thankfully no one that mattered - 2 were ancient women (so I guess I can forgive them grudgingly), and 1 arrogant guy I had just met. My mother had the same reaction you did, so my immediate family totally supports me, which is very nice. (I think my mom knew I was going to go to grad school before I did). I think the old ladies were wondering if I'd make more than theoretical husband and were definitely against that. The money thing is a bit touchy WRT my boyfriend (he thinks he would be uncomfortable if I made a significantly larger amount than him - but it's not like he'd want me to quit or anything, just for me to realize he'd feel odd) but arg!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Virtual_Aardvark » Mon Jun 06, 2011 4:57 pm UTC

Ick. I've been watching reruns of old Project Runways (because Oh me yarm Tim Gunn) and there was a challenge where they had to design for a group of women who had survived heart disease. Which is rather lovely. But they all kept referring to the new models as "real" women. Of course as opposed to their regular models who are...not. This of course means that the heart disease survivors were all referred to as women, even the 20 year old; but the regular, size 2 models are always called "girls".

I hate this stupid double standard. You can't be an actual woman until you have a certain amount of fat, but if you do have a little (or a lot!) you're gross and no man will ever touch you.

/rant
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Ashlah » Mon Jun 06, 2011 5:10 pm UTC

^Urgh, that is so frustrating.

Somewhat related: Why isn't there a female equivalent of the word "guy." A "guy" (to me) is between boy and man. My 23-year-old boyfriend is a guy. I'm almost 21, and I don't yet quite identify with the word "woman," depending on the context. But I am not a little girl, and I don't want to be infantilized. I don't know. I'm not saying that my boyfriend isn't a man, or that I'm not a woman, but it feels weird for me to use either of those words at this point in my life.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby It Should Be Real » Mon Jun 06, 2011 6:00 pm UTC

I'd say that the lady equivalent of guy is gal, even if it does sound like a word from The Past.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sandry » Mon Jun 06, 2011 6:07 pm UTC

Ashlah wrote:^Urgh, that is so frustrating.

Somewhat related: Why isn't there a female equivalent of the word "guy." A "guy" (to me) is between boy and man. My 23-year-old boyfriend is a guy. I'm almost 21, and I don't yet quite identify with the word "woman," depending on the context. But I am not a little girl, and I don't want to be infantilized. I don't know. I'm not saying that my boyfriend isn't a man, or that I'm not a woman, but it feels weird for me to use either of those words at this point in my life.

I have been angsting about this for quite a long time. I don't really like the "gal" thing, as it just sounds wrong and sort of intentionally countrified.

Anyhow. Somewhat resolved for me now, as I have been worrying about it so long that I now actually fit the "woman" label, I think. I still want an informal term for women that equates to guys, though.
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