[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

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Postby Sprocket » Tue Sep 04, 2007 1:58 pm UTC

Castaway wrote:The drawings were my moms favorite part of the movie. Personally, I loved McLovin's ID.


I thought the cops and McLovin were the best part by far. The drawings were pretty awesome. That boy had artistic tallent.

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I think, frankly, that it's more normal than people like to discuss. It's taboo, but pretty common. You're just not supposed to admit it or something.
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Postby Akira » Tue Sep 04, 2007 6:51 pm UTC

kilgore trout wrote:Please, all men everywhere please do us a favor and stop being so concerned with penis size.

Oh come on, though. The "mine is bigger than yours" standoff is the most hilarious thing to watch.

Although.

I now have the mental image of a bunch of guys standing around, doing weird tongue exercises. That would be funny, too.

Okay. I guess that's alright. Just as long as I can find amusement.
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Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Tue Sep 04, 2007 8:09 pm UTC

Next thing you know men will be learning to tie cherry stems into knots with their tongues, and they'll be getting for-her-pleasure tongue studs (you know the ones that sluts get to help their for-his-pleasure technique? It's like that, but up closer to the front, where it will be more useful).

Now that will be amusing.
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Postby kilgore trout » Tue Sep 04, 2007 8:22 pm UTC

The "mine is bigger than yours" standoff is the most hilarious thing to watch


How exactly does a "mine is bigger than yours" stand off actually work?

I have a terrific mental image of 2 guys, naked ecxept for chaps and a cowboy hat ,meeting at high noon for the standoff... old west style. A truly amusing scenario in my brain right now.

My theory is that penis size obsession has more to do with men trying to out do each other, rather then an intense interest in providing females with pleasure.

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Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Tue Sep 04, 2007 8:38 pm UTC

You are correct Kilgore Trout, but for the most part there are no 'stand-offs' between men, they just boast about their "humongous c*cks"
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Postby Belial » Tue Sep 04, 2007 8:43 pm UTC

It's true. After that, we drink shitty beer, scratch our crotches, watch football, and complain about our wives.
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Postby Cheese » Tue Sep 04, 2007 8:46 pm UTC

Insignificant Deification wrote:You are correct Kilgore Trout, but for the most part there are no 'stand-offs' between men, they just boast about their "humongous c*cks"


Well I do have a humongous c*ck, it's been in the family for generations. It's about 10 feet long, and quite wide...
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Postby kilgore trout » Tue Sep 04, 2007 9:17 pm UTC

It's true. After that, we drink shitty beer, scratch our crotches, watch football, and complain about our wives.



While comparing cock size again, just for good measure. Hopefully you have a barefoot and pregnant wife cooking you a good meal in the kitchen so you can enjoy the footbal game in peace.


Why do girls not have a comparison medium? We don't go around boasting about how our large breasts impress the guys and make us a superior person. For the record I am a 34 C, can anyone beat that?

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Postby Belial » Tue Sep 04, 2007 9:19 pm UTC

Why do girls not have a comparison medium? We don't go around boasting about how our large breasts impress the guys and make us a superior person. For the record I am a 34 C, can anyone beat that?


Because there's nothing to talk about. It can be sized up immediately. With your eyes. Because they're generally visible.

Also, guys, as far as I know, don't actually compare penis size. It's mostly a joke and/or a private insecurity. All it takes is one "size queen" to convince a whole score of guys that their penises are too small and they'll never please a woman ever.

Also, a way of making fun of people who drive giant, loud cars and are total dicks on the highway. Girl is fond of screaming at those people as they pass "I'm so sorry about your penis!"
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Postby Cheese » Tue Sep 04, 2007 9:49 pm UTC

kilgore trout wrote:34 C


Hmm... I personally can't, but are any other guys willing to take up the breast size challenge? Just to see who wins.
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Postby marshlight » Tue Sep 04, 2007 9:54 pm UTC

helen wrote:
Insignificant Deification wrote:Hurray for the spirit of adventure and science and lust!


Can I sig that?


Dang, I'm too slow! That's a good one.

kilgore trout wrote:Why do girls not have a comparison medium? We don't go around boasting about how our large breasts impress the guys and make us a superior person. For the record I am a 34 C, can anyone beat that?


I can match you and raise a cup size if girlweek is approaching. But I seem to remember that tess wins this game around these parts.

The only other thing I can think of as a comparison factor is body hair. If you naturally have little amounts of hair on your arms, slow-growing or thin leg/underarm/crotch hair, and eyebrows that do not need plucking, I am jealous of you. But that's by far not a universal (or really that important) factor. I would say that ladies have risen above the need to compare but I feel like that probably isn't true. It's just a different kind of category, like moms bragging about their kids or hot hubbys or whatever instead of something immediately attached like their genitals.
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Postby Bakemaster » Tue Sep 04, 2007 10:07 pm UTC

kilgore trout wrote:Start bragging about what you can do with your tongue and we will know you are a real man!

So I should use "Hey baby, I'm a clarinetist" as a pickup line?

Actually, that makes me think of combining the joke about how clarinetists blame everything on their reeds with something about cunnilingus. Feel free to run with it.

kilgore trout wrote:Why do girls not have a comparison medium? We don't go around boasting about how our large breasts impress the guys and make us a superior person. For the record I am a 34 C, can anyone beat that?

Meaux posted her breast size somewhere, forget it exactly but she might be the reigning champ. Out of all the... uh... two women who've posted that info, so far?
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Postby Clerria » Tue Sep 04, 2007 10:20 pm UTC

The only other thing I can think of as a comparison factor is body hair. If you naturally have little amounts of hair on your arms, slow-growing or thin leg/underarm/crotch hair, and eyebrows that do not need plucking, I am jealous of you. But that's by far not a universal (or really that important) factor. I would say that ladies have risen above the need to compare but I feel like that probably isn't true. It's just a different kind of category, like moms bragging about their kids or hot hubbys or whatever instead of something immediately attached like their genitals.


I think something essential is lost in the comparison. Having more body hair doesn't necessarily make you less of a 'woman' ... It doesn't mean you can't please a guy. I think women compare CONSTANTLY but not in the same way. I don't think guys actually physically compare much either, except metaphorically.

The only remotely equal insult I can think of for a woman is saying her vagina is a gaping hole, or some other way to say she's not *ahem* tight enough to please a guy. But that isn't really a rampant self esteem issue.... (This is an assumption, it could be totally off)

Tough to talk about this without being bashful


Also, on the breast size issue: Some women just have to come to terms with their self image and realize their breasts are beautiful even if they do attract pedophiles instead of frat boys.

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Postby Narsil » Tue Sep 04, 2007 10:29 pm UTC

kilgore trout wrote:Start bragging about what you can do with your tongue and we will know you are a real man!

I know how to use a tongue. You'll hear no complaints.

Also, on breasts, I personally could not care less. My only breast preference is "there". Because I know that larger breasts are a pain for girls. I would just rather her be comfortable than me have eye candy.
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Oh... that.

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Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Tue Sep 04, 2007 11:10 pm UTC

Clerria wrote:Also, on the breast size issue: Some women just have to come to terms with their self image and realize their breasts are beautiful even if they do attract pedophiles instead of frat boys.


*Sniff* *Sniff* But they DO attract pedophiles! *Bawls her eyes out*

Narsil's attitude on breasts is fantastic.

marshlight, if helen does not, it is open to you.
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Postby gmalivuk » Tue Sep 04, 2007 11:35 pm UTC

Despite how much of a douche Mel Gibson is, and how stupidly clichéd What Women Want may be, I think this quote is nonetheless relevant:

Gibson's Character wrote:And another thing, you know this whole thing about penis envy? Not true. No, they don't envy. Half of them don't even like it. You know who has penis envy? We do. That's why we cheat and screw up and lie, because we're all obsessed with our own equipment, that's why.


Regarding breasts, I agree that "there" tends to do the trick for me. So I don't really care about your measurements any more than I cared about Pesh's (alleged*) penis size. Of course, this is the girl thread, so comparing yourselves to each other would at least be relevant here.

* Feel free to understand "alleged" as modifying either of the two subsequent words.
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Postby kilgore trout » Wed Sep 05, 2007 12:47 am UTC

I would actually prefer a cup size smaller. My boobs are big in comparison with my small frame. Plus, I have to seriously strap them down when I work out.

I can match you and raise a cup size if girlweek is approaching.


AHHHHH! I totally thought I was imagining that my boobs would go up half a cup size every month. I am so totally relieved to know I am not the only one with fluctuating boob size. What a weird phenomenon of the female body. I am perhaps too excited that we share this trait, but seriously, so glad to hear it happens to someone besides me. I even have a couple bras set aside for the time of month that are a cup size larger. If I wear my normal bras I get the boob spillage look...not attractive.

Also, the largest my boobs have been is a 36 E, but I will stick with my current size for our boob size competition.

Also, a way of making fun of people who drive giant, loud cars and are total dicks on the highway. Girl is fond of screaming at those people as they pass "I'm so sorry about your penis!"


Does Girl yell at crazy women drivers "I'm sorry about your vagina being a gaping hole?" Because that would be awesome.

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Postby aisling » Wed Sep 05, 2007 12:54 am UTC

kilgore trout wrote:I would actually prefer a cup size smaller. My boobs are big in comparison with my small frame. Plus, I have to seriously strap them down when I work out.


Can we trade boobies? I'm a 36B, ridiculously small (I think) for a girl of my size. Like, skinny chicks have Bs. I have meat on my bones! I want Cs or Ds!

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Postby PictureSarah » Wed Sep 05, 2007 1:11 am UTC

My boobs are a 36-38 C-D depending on time of month, where I'm shopping, and weight loss and gain. I dont compare them with other women's boobs for the most part, and I don't wish they were bigger or smaller...they're proportionate to my body, and I have the advantage of being able to have some rockin cleavage when I feel like it, and the disadvantage of having to do some hardcore shopping to find a functional sports bra. I seem to remember earlier in this thread that Tess had some pretty serious boobs happening, I suspect she wins.
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Postby Shro » Wed Sep 05, 2007 1:14 am UTC

This is confusing. I have B's, but I am quite cleavage-capable. Also, I thought it was pretty normal for boobs to get bigger before girl week. It's all that water retention and such.

I am pretty insecure about my boobs, and anything I can find wrong with them, I will. But I like them more now than I used to, after I lost weight, my boobs got a little smaller, but they seem more in proportion to everything else.
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Postby PictureSarah » Wed Sep 05, 2007 1:17 am UTC

Almost anyone is cleavage capable with a good push-up bra. I've even met drag queens who can have some pretty rockin cleavage with taping and artistic shading....it just takes less effort for me than many women. Downside, with bras that aren't "full coverage," I tend to get an odd look. My cup runneth over, so to speak. Unless I am wearing a cleavage-exposing shirt, this makes for a really odd and unattractive look.
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Postby Shro » Wed Sep 05, 2007 1:37 am UTC

I do have me some nice bras.

The bf tends to like my boobs more than I do. Like the randomest boob grabbage and at the randomest times. And when I give him the "WTF?" look, he just shrugs and tells me he can't help it. It's highly endearing. He obviously likes them more than I do.
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Postby Alisto » Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:26 am UTC

kilgore trout wrote:
I forget the percentage, but definitely more than half of women can't get off from vaginal stimulation alone. So don't be all surprised.


For most women penis size is not important since most women don't have orgasms from vaginal penetration. Clitoral stimulation from fingers, tongue, or vibrators is usually the way most females experience orgasm.

Please, all men everywhere please do us a favor and stop being so concerned with penis size. Your penis probably isn't going to get a girl off. Start bragging about what you can do with your tongue and we will know you are a real man!


I would like to direct your attention to this post.
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Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:31 am UTC

....

<.<

>.>

I wear bras that are slightly larger than "training bra for your thelarche-ing little girl"

I weep, I have no such thing as cleavage.
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Postby pollywog » Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:35 am UTC

Insignificant Deification wrote:Next thing you know men will be learning to tie cherry stems into knots with their tongues,


I can do that. It's not hard. And, yeah, boobs = good, whatever size.
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Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:37 am UTC

:roll:

Right, I knew there was a reason she kept me, I can do oral origami.
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Postby pollywog » Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:40 am UTC

Oralagami, do you mean?
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Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:43 am UTC

Insignificant Deification wrote::roll:

Right, I knew there was a reason she kept me, I can do oral origami.


Well, I know that's how I bring all the boys to the yard.
Heyyy baby wanna kill all humans?

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Postby Alisto » Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:46 am UTC

Meaux_Pas wrote:
Insignificant Deification wrote::roll:

Right, I knew there was a reason she kept me, I can do oral origami.


Well, I know that's how I bring all the boys to the yard.


Milkshake.

I don't think anything else needs to be said.
Bad grammar makes me [sic].
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Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:48 am UTC

Oralagami?

I dunno.

As for bringing all the boys to the yard, as I understand it they don't care what you can do with your mouth so long as you can and will do it, usually.

Milk... shake... I get the euphemism... but I think it may become even more literal for me. Don't worry about it, you've heard me speak of this before.
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Postby Alisto » Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:50 am UTC

Insignificant Deification wrote:Oralagami?

I dunno.

As for bringing all the boys to the yard, as I understand it they don't care what you can do with your mouth so long as you can and will do it, usually.

Milk... shake... I get the euphemism... but I think it may become even more literal for me. Don't worry about it, you've heard me speak of this before.


The "can" is the tricky part.
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Postby pollywog » Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:53 am UTC

Alisto wrote:
Meaux_Pas wrote:
Insignificant Deification wrote::roll:

Right, I knew there was a reason she kept me, I can do oral origami.


Well, I know that's how I bring all the boys to the yard.


Milkshake.

I don't think anything else needs to be said.


Are you saying that yours is better than mine?

Back to reality, I don't know what is being referred to by "milkshake". What is it? I'd guess some sort of sexual maneuver, but only because of the vibe of the song.
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Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:54 am UTC

Insignificant Deification wrote:Oralagami?

I dunno.

As for bringing all the boys to the yard, as I understand it they don't care what you can do with your mouth so long as you can and will do it, usually.


Nah, if you do it badly enough they stop asking.
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Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:57 am UTC

@Meaux_Pas: What, they stop asking to defile your mouth? Wow, I never would have expected that. (Don't worry, it's only defilement to me)

@Pollywog: Basically, it's the breasts, or any maneuver that moves them... because the breasts are where the milk is.
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Postby pollywog » Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:57 am UTC

Oh. Well, I was way off.
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Postby Belial » Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:58 am UTC

Back to reality, I don't know what is being referred to by "milkshake". What is it? I'd guess some sort of sexual maneuver, but only because of the vibe of the song.


The singer herself was staying mum on the whole thing, last I heard. My guess is that she said something vaguely suggestive but that didn't mean anything, and just let you assume there was something you didn't know
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Postby Ketzerei » Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:59 am UTC

Belial wrote:The singer herself was staying mum on the whole thing, last I heard. My guess is that she said something vaguely suggestive but that didn't mean anything, and just let you assume there was something you didn't know


That's actually substantially more clever than I expected.
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Postby Belial » Wed Sep 05, 2007 3:03 am UTC

Though Insig's explanation also sounds good. Maybe that's it.
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Postby Insignificant Deifaction » Wed Sep 05, 2007 3:05 am UTC

The origin is unknown, it is entirely possible the term was invented because of Kelis' song.
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Postby Ketzerei » Wed Sep 05, 2007 3:06 am UTC

Belial wrote:Though Insig's explanation also sounds good. Maybe that's it.

Well, that's the "expected" part. I like yours more because it's stranger and appeals to my naïve hope that somehow, perhaps, the world is not as straightforward as it seems.
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