[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby SecondTalon » Fri Sep 23, 2011 2:44 am UTC

Depends on the nation you're in and the health codes of said nation. I believe semicharmed is in a more... relaxed nation than the rest of us.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby semicharmed » Fri Sep 23, 2011 4:59 am UTC

SecondTalon wrote:Depends on the nation you're in and the health codes of said nation. I believe semicharmed is in a more... relaxed nation than the rest of us.


I'm in Ukraine. Relaxed would be one way of putting it.But the "waste-onto-tracks" type of train bathrooms exists across most of the ex-Soviet countries (except maybe Poland, since their rail gauge and consequently most of their rail stock is different), and most of SE Asia. I haven't been on a Western Europe-Ukraine/Russia train - it's more expensive and a loooot longer to take the train from Berlin to Kyiv than it is to just fly - but they're mainly Soviet style rail stock, so I think it might be the same.

Even the newest long distance rail cars here have a flush level that just opens the bottom of the toilet onto the tracks; the train bathrooms are locked at stations and when travelling over heavily-trafficked stretched of rails. If you think about it, the "flush" only happens when the trains are moving - fast - and it's not like every bathroom in every train is occupied for every second of the route.

Also, sewer system in Ukraine range from modern to Soviet and decrepit to outhouses, and so dealing with the waste produced if it was stored would probably be worse for the environment/filled with chemicals/even smellier than the flush 'n' dump.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby PictureSarah » Fri Sep 23, 2011 5:34 pm UTC

A cautionary tale for the lady thread:
Last night I made white bean chili. I used jalapenos, which I finely diced and did not wear gloves. I was conscious of this, however, and I washed my hands (twice!) thoroughly with soap afterward. It was not enough. Later that evening, during the course of tampon insertion, I spiced myself in the ladybits. Fortunately there was very little capsaicin left on my hands, so I wasn't in outright pain, but I was definitely very aware of what had happened. If you must work with capsaicin-contaning vegetables, wear gloves, or wash your hands with the "grease-cutting" dish soap or something. Don't think that simple hand soap will suffice!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby sophyturtle » Fri Sep 23, 2011 7:37 pm UTC

Out of the blue worry
Spoiler:
I have always thought of myself as a scientist. I want to do science to everything. But specifically people. So when I am looking at graduate school the behavioral neuroscience programs that get me all excited are in the psychology department.
I know it is off, but I feel like a failure for this. First, because it is not a 'hard' science. Which is BS but still sits there.
Then I feel like a failure because I am a woman who wants to do a soft science. like I can't do a hard one cause I have lady bits or something.
Sometimes I worry I am not a good enough woman and feminist because of internalized preconceptions about the things I like and I end up feeling bad. I did not really know where to put this, so I put it here.
I want to get to a place where I am neither conforming nor rebelling but simply being.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Kewangji » Fri Sep 23, 2011 7:44 pm UTC

You're not a bad woman, nor are you a bad feminist.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby poxic » Fri Sep 23, 2011 9:27 pm UTC

PictureSarah wrote:I spiced myself in the ladybits.

Done that. I was much more of an idiot about it, though. I'd heard about people putting oil of pepper on their fingers to discourage nail biting, which habit was a big source of shame for me at the time (early teens, roughly). We didn't have oil of pepper, so I dabbed some tabasco around each of my nails one night and went to bed. Being young and hormonal and recently enamoured of masturbation, I kindasorta forgot about the tabasco thing and twiddled away happily for a while.

Until ow happened. And kept happening. I am very grateful that we did not have oil of pepper in the house or it likely would have been FUCKING OW OMG nonono momanddad everythingisokay OW OW OW OW.

Roughly.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby semicharmed » Sat Sep 24, 2011 5:40 am UTC

I've definitely noticed - not necessarily unpleasantly, but being very aware - a similar thing happening during oral if my SO's recently eaten something with a lot of chilis. We made this amazing, spicy Thai salad with bird chilis... and yeah. Awareness. Not pain, since we had eaten and then went out for drinks and then came back and teeth were brushed but if it had been dinner -> sex, I'm imagine I would have screamed.

Also, Tiger Balm/Vick's + laybits = ouch! I tend to be an absent minded sleep masturbator, especially if I'm sick. I was probably 12 or 13 and had a really bad head cold, so rubbed Vick's all over my chest. And then... the ow happened. And kept happening.

It makes me really, really disinclined to try those warming lubes.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby blue_eyedspacemonkey » Sat Sep 24, 2011 6:30 am UTC

I once got a free sample of a warming lube on my arm (pushy sales assistant in a sex shop). It hurt for quite a while, and that was on the rather non-sensitive skin of my forearm. I can only imagine what it would be like on my ladybits. Owie. I think I maybe offended the sales assistant but I really wasn't expecting the pain, as it wasn't advertised as a tingly/stinging lube.

@sophy: seconding what semicharmed says, do what makes you happy :)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby studyinserendipity » Sat Sep 24, 2011 11:36 am UTC

sophyturtle wrote:Sometimes I worry I am not a good enough woman and feminist because of internalized preconceptions about the things I like and I end up feeling bad. I did not really know where to put this, so I put it here.
Sophy, I feel this way too because I chose to go into education. There's a voice in my head that says, "Of course you did that, it was the easy thing to do because you're a woman, and you just didn't want to push hard enough to get into something else." This thought came on especially strong last weekend when I was hanging pictures (which always involves diagrams and lots of measuring because I love to measure things and create blueprints and diagrams) and it made me think of how much I loved my dad's job (construction/general contractor) as a kid. It makes me wonder if I was a boy if it would have been easier to stick with that hobby and go into that particular field. And I like what I do as a career, it just sometimes feels like I went along with the stereotype and I feel guilty for reinforcing it.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Angua » Sat Sep 24, 2011 11:50 am UTC

studyinserendipity wrote:
sophyturtle wrote:Sometimes I worry I am not a good enough woman and feminist because of internalized preconceptions about the things I like and I end up feeling bad. I did not really know where to put this, so I put it here.
Sophy, I feel this way too because I chose to go into education. There's a voice in my head that says, "Of course you did that, it was the easy thing to do because you're a woman, and you just didn't want to push hard enough to get into something else." This thought came on especially strong last weekend when I was hanging pictures (which always involves diagrams and lots of measuring because I love to measure things and create blueprints and diagrams) and it made me think of how much I loved my dad's job (construction/general contractor) as a kid. It makes me wonder if I was a boy if it would have been easier to stick with that hobby and go into that particular field. And I like what I do as a career, it just sometimes feels like I went along with the stereotype and I feel guilty for reinforcing it.

I think I'll have the same problem when I have to choose between surgery and medicine. My bf (year above me) said that the lecture he had by the surgeon about surgery was basically on par with all the anecdotal ones you hear - the ones where they emphasise about the long hours, and the lack of family time, and then look very pointedly at the women in the hall. I've never particularly wanted to go into surgery though (it requires a lot of standing up, which I don't do well because I have weird bone structure), but part of me wants to prove that I can do it. Sadly, my bf doesn't really see anything wrong with women being the ones who want to spend more time with children, even though I've been pointing out that women are the ones made to feel guilty about it, whereas men aren't. He also said that you only ever see women being broody (which I told him no, there are broody men) so obviously they are more family oriented, but I pointed out that we (women) have the unfortunate knowledge that after 30, our reproductive fitness goes downhill (he then chimed in, with well, it starts getting worse once you hit 20 :P ) so if we do want a family, we have to do it before a guy would have to start worrying about it. I've already pointed this out to him multiple times when he expressed his surprise that all the women in his year talked about how they thought about what they wanted from a family as a consideration for whether they wanted to do medicine, when guys don't think about that as much.

Sigh.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby podbaydoor » Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:43 pm UTC

Only women are broody? What a load of crock.

This particular stereotype always pisses me off the most. Yeah, because being slumped on the couch for hours playing video games and shutting down every conversation because you're unhappy about something isn't moody, it's being introspective.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Angua » Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:48 pm UTC

podbaydoor wrote:Only women are broody? What a load of crock.

This particular stereotype always pisses me off the most. Yeah, because being slumped on the couch for hours playing video games and shutting down every conversation because you're unhappy about something isn't moody, it's being introspective.

By broody he means cooing over babies and wanting to have one. Possible dialect/connotation thing there?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby doogly » Sat Sep 24, 2011 4:04 pm UTC

I think this is a case of
brooding != broody
but of course, broody men do exist. but the bio clock difference is probably a non-trivial factor here.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby apricity » Sat Sep 24, 2011 4:17 pm UTC

sophyturtle wrote:Out of the blue worry
Spoiler:
I have always thought of myself as a scientist. I want to do science to everything. But specifically people. So when I am looking at graduate school the behavioral neuroscience programs that get me all excited are in the psychology department.
I know it is off, but I feel like a failure for this. First, because it is not a 'hard' science. Which is BS but still sits there.
Then I feel like a failure because I am a woman who wants to do a soft science. like I can't do a hard one cause I have lady bits or something.
Sometimes I worry I am not a good enough woman and feminist because of internalized preconceptions about the things I like and I end up feeling bad. I did not really know where to put this, so I put it here.
It's funny, I always think of myself as a progressive, feminism-approved psych student because I'm more interested in the neuro side than the social side :) (I might have enjoyed neuro better than school psych, but I didn't even try to apply for neuro programs because I knew I wouldn't get in, since I have no research experience.)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby harpyblues » Sun Sep 25, 2011 3:51 am UTC

So, anyway, this probably belongs in the school spot, but I'm frustrated and I just want to vent. I'm a freshman(woman?) at uni and I've been here for something like 5-6 weeks and I'm still struggling to make friends and connect with people. Coming here, I only knew about three people from before, and I'm only on friendly terms with two of them and I don't interact with them much in general (I know this is pretty normal, but I like a support base). I hang out with people on my floor a lot, but while some are pretty friendly, others (this one girl in particular) have already gotten into the whole catty "don't say hi, keep doors closed, and make the bare minimum polite conversation" thing. I'm not sure what I did wrong, but it's making me feel really uncomfortable. I went through a similar funk starting middle school and high school, but then at least I had friends from before (and made a lot more later eventually) and I could go home at the end of the day to get away. Some days are good, other aren't and I'm struggling to try to be social and not end up staying in my dorm on Saturdays. College isn't as awesome as everyone made it out to be, which is probably just hype coming to terms with reality, but still.

I just want some advice (apart from the whole "Just be friendly!" thing, which I'm trying) and I guess some confirmation that this will all turn out okay eventually. Is this normal?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby poxic » Sun Sep 25, 2011 4:16 am UTC

If it's any consolation, I think I made two friends out of all four years at uni, and I lost touch with both of them after about a decade. Of course, I was painfully shy and had more hangups than Lady Gaga's closet, so ymmv.

I was on "hey, let's go to the caf together" terms with a few more people, and regularly hung out to watch old and new Star Trek (severely dating myself here) with a bunch more, so it wasn't all lonely misery. Most classes also required contact with classmates in non-class hours, whether to work on projects together or just to set mutual study times. I met some neat people that way, though I was crap at making friends out of them.

I had better luck once I joined a club or two. Toastmasters turned out to be a decent way to learn public speaking meet a bunch of intelligent and talkative people once a week for meetings and a beer. Being around the time of the Meech Lake Accord, there was a student group I joined that put on a conference to debate the proposed amendments. That was interesting, and also nerve-wracking for little old conflict-averse me.

In short, you're not a freak. Catty people are catty and can usually be safely let alone to stew in their own smug. Some people never get past high-school pettiness. Give yourself, and uni, all the time you need to get used to each other. And hey, university still isn't the Real World. It's closer than earlier schooling, but still. :wink:
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby harpyblues » Sun Sep 25, 2011 5:14 am UTC

I've joined a few clubs, but it seems like most clubs tend to meet up on Wednesday nights, which is exactly when I have a class for three hours :( so that's frustrating. I'm going to try joining aikido and see if exercising more helps break me out of this (since any exercise seems to help when I'm depressed). I really, really want to end up with more than just one or two friends by the time I finish college, or I think I'm going to be a wreck (not bashing, just how I end up).
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby poxic » Sun Sep 25, 2011 5:27 am UTC

You're still learning and adapting. Be patient with and kind to yourself. You don't need to do any harshing on yourself. (There are plenty of people in the world who will tear down anyone they meet, and they'll do that for you. Sounds like you have one on your floor.)

Think of it this way. When are you at your best around people? When you're tense and harassed, or when you're relaxed and content? Focus on the thoughts and actions that lead to you being relaxed and content. Don't beat yourself up for mistakes, including mistakes in relaxing. :wink: Just learn from them, and keep going. Life is long at your age. There will always be another chance.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby apricity » Sun Sep 25, 2011 4:25 pm UTC

harpyblues wrote:I hang out with people on my floor a lot, but while some are pretty friendly, others (this one girl in particular) have already gotten into the whole catty "don't say hi, keep doors closed, and make the bare minimum polite conversation" thing. I'm not sure what I did wrong, but it's making me feel really uncomfortable.
I was that girl in my freshman year of college, but I felt exactly the same way as you do. I didn't say hi and made bare minimum polite conversation, because I was terrified of meeting new people and was ridiculously shy and quiet. I would have kept my door open but my roommate was paranoid about getting stuff stolen, even if we were there, and the few times I did leave it open nobody came by anyway. I wanted to make friends but I had no idea how, and I hated (and still hate) doing anything social unexpectedly, like starting a conversation with someone I didn't know in a hallway. I was completely miserable for the entire first semester, and only in the second did I start making real friends because I joined the College Democrats (which I was too shy to do in the first semester, but by the second I was desperate).

Point being, I highly doubt you did anything wrong. If you want to hang out with that girl, maybe you could invite her over sometime for the future and see what she says. She might say yes and hang out with you and you'll have a great time, or say yes and be really awkward the whole time and neither of you will have fun, or say no because she's too shy, or say no because she doesn't want to try making friends with you. There are a lot of possible outcomes and reasons, but odds are fantastic that it has nothing to do with who you are so you shouldn't assume that. Nobody makes a big enough deal of just how hard starting college is for some people, when they don't know anyone and are on their own for the first time.

I say definitely try aikido and other clubs if you do manage to fit them into your schedule, since that's how I made friends. Try not to have Wednesday night classes next semester so you can go to other clubs that you're interested in. Try to make concrete plans with people, so they know you're interested in being real friends rather than the kind of people who chat in the hallway/in class. 5 weeks is still very early in your college life, and you and the other freshmen around you are probably still coming to terms with minor culture shock. Also, as far as I've heard from my college friends who did make friends in the first few weeks, those friends don't stick around. You meet your real people after time.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby rath358 » Sun Sep 25, 2011 6:05 pm UTC

just another idea: if there is a lounge in your res hall, maybe try hanging and/or working there instead of in your room with the door open. at my res hall, more people tend to congregate in lounge.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby bluebambue » Sun Sep 25, 2011 7:09 pm UTC

Or maybe try working at the on-campus coffee place, if there is one. At my college it was a very social place. Really bad for actually getting much work done.

And I second that people closing door and only making polite conversation has little to do with you. The first couple of weeks everyone in my hall kept their doors open, but they started being closed most of the time pretty quickly. Practically no upperclassmen kept their doors open and there hadn't really been much interaction with doors open anyway.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby mayhaps » Sun Sep 25, 2011 10:50 pm UTC

lanicita wrote:
harpyblues wrote:I hang out with people on my floor a lot, but while some are pretty friendly, others (this one girl in particular) have already gotten into the whole catty "don't say hi, keep doors closed, and make the bare minimum polite conversation" thing. I'm not sure what I did wrong, but it's making me feel really uncomfortable.
I was that girl in my freshman year of college, but I felt exactly the same way as you do. I didn't say hi and made bare minimum polite conversation, because I was terrified of meeting new people and was ridiculously shy and quiet. I would have kept my door open but my roommate was paranoid about getting stuff stolen, even if we were there, and the few times I did leave it open nobody came by anyway. I wanted to make friends but I had no idea how, and I hated (and still hate) doing anything social unexpectedly, like starting a conversation with someone I didn't know in a hallway. I was completely miserable for the entire first semester, and only in the second did I start making real friends because I joined the College Democrats (which I was too shy to do in the first semester, but by the second I was desperate).


What you said, and what lanicita said, is true for me as well... I just started my third year and I am finally starting to feel as though I am welcome on this campus. That doesn't mean I have tons of awesome friends, or even a small amount of awesome friends... I spent a lot of time alone, still. But know that the opportunity to make friends doesn't end after a certain short period of your freshman year. I was stressed freshman year because everyone seemed to be best buddies after orientation, and I still didn't know anyone. I struggled to be friendly or even just study in a public place because everything seemed unproductive. Since then I have joined a club sports team and a religious fellowship, made a few friends from those and there are more who I can develop better relationships with. Otherwise, I do things that will make me happy. I take long walks, relax in the sunshine, am joining community service groups to give back and to do good work, and I do interesting hobbies in public (knitting, drawing, reading, juggling, or even just studying) even if it doesn't seem to attract anyone.

I've heard many stories of people who found their best friends in their third year of college, and hope to be an example of that myself. Fear not, there are others at your college and at other colleges who feel as lost as you might. You're not far in, and even if you were, there's still time. Soldier on.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Ashlah » Mon Sep 26, 2011 12:52 am UTC

I had one best friend going into high school, and didn't really make any new friends (close or otherwise). I lost that friend my first year of college, and didn't make any new friends at college. I did meet my boyfriend (online) during college (I suppose technically he's my best friend, so maybe that counts? Haha). I don't think I ever learned how to make friends when I was growing up, lol. The only friends I really made during that time were at work. I'm just terribly shy and have never known how to/been comfortable with starting conversations with strangers, so it helped that I was "forced" to be around the same people at work everyday. Eventually I got comfortable, and talked to them enough that we became good friends.

Not really sure where the helpful advice is in there. Learn from my mistakes, I guess, and force yourself to be outgoing, and do what you can to talk to people, and maintain contact with those people. That is something I am terrible at. I might start talking to someone in class, but once the class was over, never talk to them again. That, I think, is where I messed up the most at the whole making friends endeavor.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Jessica » Tue Sep 27, 2011 2:33 pm UTC

Sorry for the abrupt change, but I wanted to post this. I saw it on my feed and was blown away by how awesome it is. Helen Mirren is awesome! And here is a list of 20 iconic male roles she would be fucking awesome in.

I think I agree with almost all of them. There are a few I disagree with, but otherwise fantastic.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby podbaydoor » Tue Sep 27, 2011 2:38 pm UTC

Oh, I remember that article. It is, indeed, awesome.

I would watch anything where the male lead was starring Helen Mirren and Jeremy Irons starred in the female lead.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aaeriele » Tue Sep 27, 2011 3:39 pm UTC

Copy-pasting this here for those who aren't on G+ (or who somehow slipped through my setting up the 'Thailand Status' circle):

Spoiler:
Alright, taking a page out of something +Fizz ., +Delirium Sama, and +Dan Boger have reminded me of/demonstrated to me in the recent past, and start this post with:

I'm fine.

Now that I've properly spoiled the ending to avoid any undue worry, we can get on to exactly how yesterday went - which was to say... "interesting." Specifically, I managed to spend a good portion of the day in the ER (after jumping through about 2 other clinics for, in hindsight, no good reason).

To explain a bit more: starting the night before surgery and continuing during the weeks of recovery thereafter in Thailand, I had been on a prescription of Xanax (1mg/day at bedtime) to help me be able to sleep smoothly et cetera. That prescription finished about a day after we returned to the US (by which point I'd been taking it for about 3.5 weeks).

Something to know about Xanax: it is one of the kinds of drugs that your body gradually adjusts to having in its system and thus compensates for - which means that it's also the kind of drug that is best only taken for short periods of time (which, theoretically, <4 weeks was), and gradually tapered back on (so that the body can re-adjust and re-compensate for the lowering presence of the drug).

As a result, when the prescription finished a day or so after we got back, and I essentially stopped taking them cold-turkey... bad stuff happened. Fairly severe withdrawal symptoms all over the place - lightheadedness, nausea, insomnia, gassiness, tiredness, and just generally feeling weak all around.

Didn't initially associate it with going off the Xanax, but after the symptoms persisted for a (rather tortuous) day or two, went digging/thinking about potential causes for how I was feeling and realized the correlation between stopping the prescription and the onset of the OMGPLEASESTOP.

Thankfully, one ER visit later, I now have a small temporary prescription for Ativan (another benzodiazepine, like Xanax) so that I can have something to slowly taper off of, while minimizing the withdrawal effect in the meantime.

While I sort of wish that the solution for withdrawal from a mind-altering drug wasn't "here, take this more different mind-altering drug, at least temporarily," I'm still glad that I now have a clear path to getting things completely fixed and back to a normal state.

And thank you, oh so much, to +Dan Boger for taking the morning (and then eventually, the rest of the day too) off work to get me to the care I needed.



And now, unrelated question:

Any general tips for making sure pads are as comfortable to wear as possible (anything from which ones to buy, to just quirky tricks, etc)? I have the joy of wearing them for the next, oh, month or so straight, so I figure if there are even marginal improvements I can achieve, it'll be a nice net benefit in the long run. (Pads aren't exactly horrendously uncomfortable or anything as-is, but I definitely notice the feeling of it from time to time.)

Pretty much has to be a pad; tampons and other such options won't work in this case (the pad is doing double duty in also picking up any small mess from stitches healing up and providing a little padding for those areas).
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Wed Sep 28, 2011 5:55 am UTC

I suggest starting out by buying small travel-pack things (with 5-10 or whatever) of several different brands and types and trying them all out over a period of time.

Personally, my preferences for a pad are as such:
    The pad can flex and doesn't feel stiff.
    Not too big for my undies, a lot of pads are too wide for my underwear
    Soft to the touch of the inner thigh (had one once that felt abrasive)
    If you can't go for a long walk in it comfortably, switch pads
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby poxic » Wed Sep 28, 2011 6:09 am UTC

My faves are the thin type. For me, the best daytime pads are Always Ultra-thin (Slender for me, because I'm narrow across the ... whatever-it's-called dimension between the inner thighs). You can feel them, yes, but they're like a plasticky lining on your underwear rather than the bolt of fabric one might feel with a thicker pad. :shock: Don't be afraid of the wings thing. Just wrap the wing things around and under the crotch-sides of the underwear. The wings do often help stop the staining of the crotch-sides.

The same brand has a nighttime version that's a lot longer, mostly in the back part. They're also useful if the usual daytime type just aren't enough to control the staining.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aaeriele » Wed Sep 28, 2011 6:12 am UTC

poxic wrote:My faves are the thin type. For me, the best daytime pads are Always Ultra-thin (Slender for me, because I'm narrow across the ... whatever-it's-called dimension between the inner thighs). You can feel them, yes, but they're like a plasticky lining on your underwear rather than the bolt of fabric one might feel with a thicker pad. :shock: Don't be afraid of the wings thing. Just wrap the wing things around and under the crotch-sides of the underwear. The wings do often help stop the staining of the crotch-sides.

The same brand has a nighttime version that's a lot longer, mostly in the back part. They're also useful if the usual daytime type just aren't enough to control the staining.


Always Ultra-Thins are actually exactly what I'm using at the moment (although the ones I have don't have wings). I might actually try grabbing some of the ones with wings... that might help make things a tiny bit more comfortable - one of the minor annoyances has been the one or two times the side of the thinnest part gets bunched up enough that the edge of it starts rubbing against skin slightly, which wings would prevent.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby poxic » Wed Sep 28, 2011 6:14 am UTC

Ick. I remember that feeling. >.<

Yes, the wings do help. It's a different set of sensations to get used to, but it's somewhat better than the edge-of-pad almost-ouch-but-mostly-irritating feeling.

/poxic is gud wit werds
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Wed Sep 28, 2011 6:15 am UTC

Oh, gods, I never use the ones without wings -- they drive me nuts! Just try to get even amounts of wing on either side or the off-balance becomes rather noticable. I also use ultra-thins because I hate the feeling of 2 inches of padding under my butt. (Not really 2 inches, more like 4mm, but it still makes me nuts.)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby semicharmed » Wed Sep 28, 2011 6:19 am UTC

I'm using a cup + cloth pads now (more practical/less waste especially here in Ukraine) but Always Ultra Thins were my favourite. With wings, because as has already been said, it helps them stay in place! The worst thing about pads instead of tampons, to me, was the wet/peed your pants feeling. And the way the ultra thins were designed, the top layer felt fine next to my skin and also felt drier. Depending on how heavily you're bleeding, I've always found pantiliners to be much, much, much more comfortable than pads. Smaller, less absorbant but also less likely to cause the "eww, this feels like a diaper" sensation. And for those, I always liked the Kotex Lightdays or whatever they're calling them now. White box with some flowers on it, last time I checked.

Also, make sure your underwear fit tight enough, if it's moving around the pad is going to shift more too and when that happens is when I'm most uncomfortable.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby PictureSarah » Wed Sep 28, 2011 2:22 pm UTC

Ok woman thread, I have to rant a little bit.
In the last couple months, I think I have gained some weight (I don't have a scale, but I just feel a little flabbier). This is its own can of worms, but what I want to complain about is this: I seem to have gained most of it in my left boob. Yes, just the left one. This makes no sense. I have yo-yo'd up and down on weight quite a bit since puberty, sometimes gaining and losing 40 pounds in about a year...and it has always distributed itself evenly over my body. Until now. I've been thinking something was off, but today I put a shirt on, and noticed that the side seams were in totally different places on each side, and my shirt was not twisted. It was different because one boob was so much bigger than the other. My husband says he can't tell unless he really looks, and the left one has *always* been a little bigger, but still. I'm seeing a very sudden, pronounced difference. WTF.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby modularblues » Wed Sep 28, 2011 4:26 pm UTC

PictureSarah wrote:a very sudden, pronounced difference. WTF.

Perhaps this warrants a closer examination to make sure it doesn't become more serious? If there're any other discomforts?

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Jessica » Wed Sep 28, 2011 4:29 pm UTC

Aaeriele wrote:
poxic wrote:My faves are the thin type. For me, the best daytime pads are Always Ultra-thin (Slender for me, because I'm narrow across the ... whatever-it's-called dimension between the inner thighs). You can feel them, yes, but they're like a plasticky lining on your underwear rather than the bolt of fabric one might feel with a thicker pad. :shock: Don't be afraid of the wings thing. Just wrap the wing things around and under the crotch-sides of the underwear. The wings do often help stop the staining of the crotch-sides.

The same brand has a nighttime version that's a lot longer, mostly in the back part. They're also useful if the usual daytime type just aren't enough to control the staining.
Always Ultra-Thins are actually exactly what I'm using at the moment (although the ones I have don't have wings). I might actually try grabbing some of the ones with wings... that might help make things a tiny bit more comfortable - one of the minor annoyances has been the one or two times the side of the thinnest part gets bunched up enough that the edge of it starts rubbing against skin slightly, which wings would prevent.
Wait, you're still bleeding?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aaeriele » Wed Sep 28, 2011 4:36 pm UTC

Jessica wrote:Wait, you're still bleeding?


Not bleeding really, just the discharge from tissue cleaning itself up etc.

(Also Suporn's technique does take a bit longer to heal than some of the others.)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Jessica » Wed Sep 28, 2011 4:40 pm UTC

Ah, ok.

How do you feel? I want to live vicariously through you, as I'm not going to get surgery for a few years at least.

Ooo, I have my first appointment at CAMH in their Gender identity clinic next week. First step toward possible free surgery.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aaeriele » Wed Sep 28, 2011 4:43 pm UTC

I'm feeling pretty good today, actually - you saw the bit I posted in the spoiler up above, that was kind of hell, but aside from that, my recovery has actually been going really smoothly. A bit sore after dilation sometimes, but well... if you're not sore after a dilation, you probably weren't trying hard enough.

You should be able to see my status updates on Google+, Jessica - you're in the right circle to be able to see them.
Vaniver wrote:Harvard is a hedge fund that runs the most prestigious dating agency in the world, and incidentally employs famous scientists to do research.

afuzzyduck wrote:ITS MEANT TO BE FLUTTERSHY BUT I JUST SEE AAERIELE! CURSE YOU FORA!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Jessica » Wed Sep 28, 2011 4:51 pm UTC

I know, I just have a hard time getting into the g+ habit.

I'm kind of really jealous.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Angua » Thu Sep 29, 2011 8:52 am UTC

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-15102190 Looks like things are looking up for women in Saudi Arabia - apparently the lashing ruling is being overturned by their king.
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