[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby meridian » Fri Sep 30, 2011 3:38 pm UTC

Things I am not appreciating whilst in karate class: nipple sensitivity... and some guy not being very good with his aim and kicking me in the breast instead of under my arm. I was very tempted to make some sort of big deal out of this and tell him sternly not to kick me there (repeatedly) but instead emphasized how sensitive the flank and armpit are. I realize that they are close to each other and he is only a beginner, but ouch. :(

And then I had the joy of instructing two guys that it was okay aim and not make contact with their sparring partner's genitals in order to get the arm positions correct in a particular move. This was to correct them from rubbing each others' bellies as a strike. I very much like that my dojo is filled with nonviolent people, but it's also kind of silly that the lower ranks are so completely unwilling to hit.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Mon Oct 03, 2011 12:27 am UTC

Spoilered for unsolicited advice from a fellow sensei =)
Spoiler:
how new are they? to be fair I'd not want a lower rank getting to close to my groin...it hurts. Maybe if they are new suggest putting a hand, palm out, just slightly in front of the target area to kick to? eventually remove the hand then. In training new people, targeting hands even just held in front of - like really close in front of - to whatever area the strike/kick goes to seems less intimidating, I've noticed. And maybe that would help boob-hitter target better for a bit and then pull away the hand so he actually hits the right area?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cheezwhiz Jenkins » Mon Oct 03, 2011 1:24 am UTC

So for various reasons, I've neglected to get my bc refilled for a week (after having Shark Week, so that's two weeks without taking a pill).

O EM GEE! WHAT A DIFFERENCE! I have lost 5 pounds and I don't bloat up like a balloon after eating. I'm not chronically constipated. My tummy feels soooo different. Wow wow wow.

Buuuuut...I need the pills to know when I'll be bleeding. Also so as not to hemorrhage (as in, completely using up the biggest overnight pad and TWO ultra tampons in less than 3 hours!).

Which do I pick?! AAaaaaaaaaah.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby crowey » Mon Oct 03, 2011 1:28 am UTC

change pills to a different brand? Depo? Mirena coil?

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cheezwhiz Jenkins » Mon Oct 03, 2011 1:47 am UTC

I might get to the point where I try something else, but I have to be on this specific one to regulate my hormones properly (at least, that's what they tell me. I'm starting to think nobody knows anything about female hormones!!) Also I hatehatehate my gyno (very rough, rude, and disrespectful) and don't want to go back ever.

But yeah I might get desperate enough to try something else...
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby crowey » Mon Oct 03, 2011 2:00 am UTC

How easy would it be to get a new Gyno? I wouldn't fancy sticking with a gyno who is rough and rude...
I know nothing about hormone levels and what pills may or may not regulate them properly, but given the huge array of hormonal bc that exists I'd be surprised if there was only one brand that would work.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cheezwhiz Jenkins » Mon Oct 03, 2011 2:04 am UTC

Hmm. I was under the impression that brand didn't matter, just active ingredient (but I have no idea. It all seems a bit like a Wiccan ritual lately to be honest). Maybe I should look harder into getting a new one (not to be defeatist, but I and my female relatives have been on this epic oddessy to find a good one within an hour and have FAILED spectacularly).

Oh who am I kidding, I'll probably just go back to the pill and bloating. XD I'm so sick of trying to find the right Dr. and medicine for assorted issues. </whine> I SHOULD be more proactive, though.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby crowey » Mon Oct 03, 2011 2:15 am UTC

different brands will have different formulations say, a different dosage of [hormone] or a different combination of different hormones. Or something like that I dunno, I'm not a medic.

Good luck with getting sorted whatever you do :)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cheezwhiz Jenkins » Mon Oct 03, 2011 3:12 am UTC

Oh haha I thought you were. XD

Thanks! I'm sure I'll figure something out...thanks for the suggestions. :)

On a completely unrelated note, I got all stabby earlier this week over some stupid model of women's moral development. I know I shouldn't, but those things drive me nuts. Guess which gender the (70's? 80's?) study found to emphasize feeling over thinking, social interconnectedness over individualism, and mercy over justice?? If you guessed "female" then you get no f#cking points because apparently "they're stereotypes for a reason" is Serious Science. *rage*
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby meridian » Mon Oct 03, 2011 3:14 pm UTC

Sungura wrote:Spoilered for unsolicited advice from a fellow sensei =)
Spoiler:
how new are they? to be fair I'd not want a lower rank getting to close to my groin...it hurts. Maybe if they are new suggest putting a hand, palm out, just slightly in front of the target area to kick to? eventually remove the hand then. In training new people, targeting hands even just held in front of - like really close in front of - to whatever area the strike/kick goes to seems less intimidating, I've noticed. And maybe that would help boob-hitter target better for a bit and then pull away the hand so he actually hits the right area?

No, it wouldn't help. They were just being incredibly insecure about putting their hands anywhere near the direction of another male's genitalia when they weren't going to touch it anyway and were not working up to actually hitting anything. It was slow motion work and they were being ridiculous.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby natraj » Mon Oct 03, 2011 3:32 pm UTC

Well you know if their hand comes within four inches of another man's groin that instantly confers the gay upon them, right?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby meridian » Mon Oct 03, 2011 3:47 pm UTC

natraj wrote:Well you know if their hand comes within four inches of another man's groin that instantly confers the gay upon them, right?

Yes.
Maybe I just think the world needs more gay men.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby podbaydoor » Mon Oct 03, 2011 4:09 pm UTC

Apparently in some military professions, they make men get naked and perform tasks with their naked male workmates as a training exercise in professionalism. The idea is to make sure that everyone very, very quickly gets over it and gets the idea that physical intimacy is irrelevant to performing your required duties.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby blue_eyedspacemonkey » Mon Oct 03, 2011 4:29 pm UTC

Unrelated to the current convo but kindof need to vent it somewhere: - Hi there contraception related moodiness, gloominess and general insecurity, haven't seen you in a while!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby doogly » Mon Oct 03, 2011 5:51 pm UTC

podbaydoor wrote:Apparently in some military professions, they make men get naked and perform tasks with their naked male workmates as a training exercise in professionalism. The idea is to make sure that everyone very, very quickly gets over it and gets the idea that physical intimacy is irrelevant to performing your required duties.

some fraternities also. naked bartending night was a popular one.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Swarfy » Mon Oct 03, 2011 6:05 pm UTC

In a completely un-related note: Baby Hiccups feel incerdibly WEIRD!
Also, When you can ACTIVELY see the womans abdomen moving around. You don't comment on the weirdness and then when given the explanation go "OH! You're pregnant?!" No dude, I just have some major gas.. You better GTFO before I blow up.... :roll: (True story that happened to me at the car dealership today.)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aaeriele » Mon Oct 03, 2011 6:23 pm UTC

Swarfy wrote: Also, When you can ACTIVELY see the womans abdomen moving around. You don't comment on the weirdness and then when given the explanation go "OH! You're pregnant?!" No dude, I just have some major gas.. You better GTFO before I blow up.... :roll: (True story that happened to me at the car dealership today.)


:roll:

Was it actually someone working at the car dealership? Or a customer?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Tue Oct 04, 2011 4:51 am UTC

@cheezewhiz not sure of your location, but if you are in the states, I have found Planned Parenthood gynos to be very nice, gentle, and sensitve, as well as offer a really wide range of options and really workable. I've heard horror stories about trying to get an IUD and such but they didn't bat an eye - just went over other options and talked to be sure I understood and had done my research fully but never tried to talk me out of it.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Swarfy » Tue Oct 04, 2011 5:06 am UTC

Aaeriele wrote::roll:
Was it actually someone working at the car dealership? Or a customer?


It was one of the mechanics. I raised hell and got an apology. The filter between my brain and mouth doesn't work so well now... There are times when it's firmly in place. 99% of the time it's like swiss cheese though. o_O

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cheezwhiz Jenkins » Tue Oct 04, 2011 2:51 pm UTC

Sungura wrote:@cheezewhiz not sure of your location, but if you are in the states, I have found Planned Parenthood gynos to be very nice, gentle, and sensitve, as well as offer a really wide range of options and really workable. I've heard horror stories about trying to get an IUD and such but they didn't bat an eye - just went over other options and talked to be sure I understood and had done my research fully but never tried to talk me out of it.


Thanks, Sungura! I actually had not considered that.

(Also, are you actually a caver? Or am I confusing posters again?)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Tue Oct 04, 2011 11:36 pm UTC

You're welcome =) Yeah I never thought of PP for basic gyno, I was raised conservative christian and that PP was horrible and baby-killer type thing and so although i knew this wasn't true in my adult life it wasn't until (Shro, the starter of this very thread!) told me about them and uh, yeah they are pretty amazing places (I've been to two different ones just kinda whichever closest to me has appointment times good for me, and at least here they share records as it's the same organization so it's not a big deal to hop around.)

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existential_squirrrel » Fri Oct 07, 2011 7:31 am UTC

hello xkcd :) we meet again after a lovely school related hiatus.

Dear body- stop hating on me. your sleep patterns are throwing me for a loop, I am tired as hell, but can't sleep, my head hurts, I have a glass splinter in my hand that I couldn't get out, and my girly bits are in an uproar.

I loathe it when my body just decides to fall apart on me. I'm too tired to think straight and be rational- this cannot be good. Can I get a spare brain, please??


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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existentialpanda » Fri Oct 07, 2011 8:23 am UTC

*panda hugs squirrel*

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Fri Oct 07, 2011 11:01 pm UTC

I wore my corset to school and to grocery shopping under normal clothes and I am incredibly pleased at how comfortable it is! Also, tomorrow I should get my chemise and full skirt and will take bunches of pictures of prettyness. Yay!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existential_squirrrel » Sun Oct 09, 2011 1:56 am UTC

muahahahaha... got back from an overnight camping adventure a couple hours ago! I had fun, but dealing with the sunburn that ensued is going to HURT! my face is flaming red, and my nose took the worst of it! Now I need to work the kinks out of my neck and the huge knot out of my back. hope I'm in one piece by Monday, or class will be hell to sit through.

oh, and girly bits... LEAVE ME ALONE! you are being the devil's spawn right now, and I don't like it one bit!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby ginadagny » Wed Oct 12, 2011 5:58 pm UTC

I'm going down to a sexual health clinic to get a consultation for an IUD. I'm really excited about (finally) getting it done :D

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby sophyturtle » Thu Oct 13, 2011 4:14 pm UTC

yay! I know once I had mine it made the world a whole bunch easier. I hope yours goes as smoothly.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby meridian » Thu Oct 13, 2011 10:16 pm UTC

Rant - but female organ style...
Spoiler:
fucking period, seriously, fuck. Body is already sore and kind of messed up now has crazy cramps and intestinal issues added to the mix. I have churning discomfort, horrible embarrassing gas, and aches that won't quit, but it's just below a level for me to give up and go home. I am highly agitated and expressing that too much, so going out of my way to also be nice and helpful, but if called on anything, feel like crawling under a rock, curling into a ball and crying my eyes out. Depression is sneaking in and playing havoc with my thoughts and making me morbid and bringing back to mind all of the horrible things I've done lately. It is all I can do to not email my ex and apologize over and over again, not because I want to feel better, but because what I did was so bad. Keeping my distance is the only nice thing I can do for them anymore. And I will feel better after some sleep and my organ stops bleeding, but I really don't like how I'm feeling now.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Plasmic-Turtle » Fri Oct 14, 2011 8:05 pm UTC

Meridian, I really hope you feel better soon :(
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Um, silly question - if I put something under a spoiler, would it still show up in fora searches, and in google searches? I'm guessing it probably would, but it seems kinda silly that someone can accidentally expose themselves to a spoiler that way... ANYWAY...
Spoiler:
I have suddenly started feeling deeply pissed off, angry and resentful about the way that we, as women, are taught from as soon as we're friggin toddlers, that our upper bodies are in some way more obscene that the upper body of a man. For a start, we don't look any different at all in the chest region as children. But even as adults, what's the big diff? I've got less hair? I've got a bit more fat behind there? My breasts actually have a purpose? How does that make them genitalia, how does that make them in some way obscene? It's not that I'm expected to keep my breasts covered that bothers me so much, it's that I am when men AREN'T. Men go to the beach and strip their tops off and jump into the sea with just some shorts (or speedos) on. But for me to do the same is considered inappropriate, despite the fact (and I can assure you of this) that my vagina is most certainly not located on my chest. How is that anything but blatant sexism? How is it so different from that view of "oh gosh, a woman must never expose her ankles!"?

And I sort of feel like this sexism contributes to the awkwardness many in our society seem to have with breastfeeding in public. And I sort of feel tempted to say a huge fuck you to the sexism by, when I get back to my country in summer, bathing topless (probably in shorts, if just so I can point out that I'm no differently dressed to any men on the beach, considering speedos aren't really the norm these days) at least once or twice. As far as I'm aware this is in no way illegal, although there may be loopholes where I can be asked to leave if I'm making other people feel uncomfortable, I'm not sure. Thing is, women topless bathing is really not the done thing in NZ (which is my whole issue, I know) but it makes the idea.... even at a completely empty beach... very scary and intimidating. And also makes me worry about future job prospects etc. I'd need to grow a tougher skin than I feel I have at the moment, as well as truly discard the "your breasts are obscene things to be kept private" message that has been ingrained in me since I learned to walk. I don't know. What do y'all think? Also, if my local city did decided to kick up a fuss about things, I'm not so fond of this post coming up in google searches and somehow linking my identity to every other post I've ever made in here and on the fora... hence wishing that spoilers might have magical powers!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby sophyturtle » Fri Oct 14, 2011 9:59 pm UTC

This is an issue that comes up in the US in smallish ways. People have protests and marches about women being topless (normally with topless women) and it ends up with a huge group of guys taking pictures and generally being verbally harassive. Around here so much needs to change in the culture (like the idea that women's bodies are for anyone but themselves and the people they specifically choose to share it with) before it is safe. Or safer. Or whatever.

Still, I feel you. I regret that there are very few times I went topless in public. I regret it tons in the summer that I am not allowed (though in college in VT I took advantage of the no exposure laws to be topless on campus some).
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aiea » Fri Oct 14, 2011 10:24 pm UTC

Plasmic-Turtle, I so want to think of myself as an open minded individual and a woman of the world. But when it comes down to it I guess I'm not. A couple months ago we had some friends and their kids over. They have a 7 year old boy and a 4 year old girl. Them and my 2 year old son were all playing out in the (well enclosed and private) garden. I ended up setting up some water toys as it was hot. Now none ended up having swim suits so the boy was in his underwear, same with the girl, and well my boy was just in his diaper. For some reason the girl just in her underwear just felt so wrong, moreso than the boy in his or my boy in his diaper... I didn't say anything as that's normal here I guess. I wish it wouldn't bother me, but for some reason it did.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby podbaydoor » Sat Oct 15, 2011 1:18 am UTC

Aiea, I have to deal with the same thoughts as you. The cultural conditioning is extremely strong, and has been taught to us at a very early age. Even rock-solid intellectual reasoning has a difficult time getting around deeply ingrained notions that were taught to us before we had the capacity to come up with rock-solid intellectual reasoning.

So, yeah, young topless girls running around with young topless boys make me uncomfortable. And then I remind myself that it's silly, and the only stigma is the one in my mind.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby suffer-cait » Sat Oct 15, 2011 5:09 am UTC

Aiea is a town in hawaii. it's a type of holly.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Plasmic-Turtle » Sat Oct 15, 2011 5:17 pm UTC

I have the same issues too Aiea! Hence why taking my own top off in any public area, regardless of whether or not there are people around, is such a frightening idea. Damn cultural conditioning. A 4 yr old girl wouldn't bother me so much as that's pretty common here, but 6-7 years old or above probably would bother me somewhat... it's so illogical though, and so unfair that we're taught to believe it.

I'd always thought about my feisty, stubborn grandmother who loved learning and was fascinated by the world yet remained a house-wife who never learned to drive as my grandfather didn't want her to... and wondered why for so many years women put up with being treated as property in marriage, with being not allowed to vote, etc. etc. But maybe this is it? Cultural conditioning is a frighteningly strong thing. I'd really like though, if I have children, to bring them up not being conditioned to see breasts as obscene, to see women more as sexual objects rather than subjects, who must dress and act in a way to be sexually attractive toward men and then take the blame for any lewd comments (or worse) that men make because it's their fault, after all, for being sexually attractive. Screw that shit.

Brilliant start to my sunny Saturday morning, having a man find it necessary after passing me in his truck to pull up by the side of the road, get his penis out, and start rubbing himself in front of me asking if I wanted it. There are like THREE damn primary schools in the space of four blocks here, and this was right outside one of them - thank god it's Saturday, I hope he's an out of towner, though that's wishful thinking I know. It didn't bother me that much as I felt very safe in broad daylight with enough people within yelling distance, and he didn't approach me at all. But it's on the route that I have to walk on the way home from uni every single day for the next 2 months, and it starts getting a little dark from 7-8pm (we're expected to work til 7pm, and uni is my only access to the internet as well to skype friends and fmaily back home). :-/

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podbaydoor
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby podbaydoor » Sat Oct 15, 2011 5:36 pm UTC

Take up biking, perhaps? You can travel much faster that way, if your route is somewhat bike-friendly. Or carry mace/pepper spray. Maybe "carpool" with people who are walking in the same direction?
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Plasmic-Turtle
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Plasmic-Turtle » Sat Oct 15, 2011 6:36 pm UTC

I'm only here for 2 more months and don't own a bike... I could try to find a cheap one somewhere I guess? "carpooling" with people doesn't work so well - I do carpool with my (big bulky male) housemate most nights but he's going to be off in the mountains shortly to do his fieldwork and there'll be no-one else heading my way. It should be fine really, it's not far to go and most of the time it feels like a very friendly neighbourhood with lots of kids and friends nearby, it's just a bit of added stress, you know? Pepper spray... can you buy that stuff in Mexican supermarkets? We have a walmart nearby! I'm living in Mexico at the mo, but to be honest I wouldn't even know where to find the stuff back in NZ. I'm also not entirely sure what the reaction to it would be here, I should be allowed to use it in self-defence right?

I imagine there'll be no problem, I know it seems to be a bit of the culture here among some men to whistle at gringo women etc and they don't really mean any harm. The guy was probably just hoping to get some form of disgusted or scared reaction out of me as though I'd never seen a penis before, it just makes me slightly nervous that it's right in my neighbourhood on my way between school and home and that he went to all the trouble of pulling his car over and waiting for me to pass. I don't want him to somehow become familiar with my daily routine and use it to harrass me... or to find out where I live, for that matter!

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AnnaArmour
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby AnnaArmour » Sun Oct 16, 2011 1:10 am UTC

What the fuck.:| Yeah, I'd order some pepper spray etc. online. Maybe write down his license plate if you get a chance.
...Well, no, what I actually would do is dress down and glare at everyone. Which I'm not proud of. It's ridiculous that people equate being attractive and friendly with being sexually available, and no one should have to choose between safety and self-expression. But yeah, you should be able to look up who owns the car if you want to report him. I doubt you're the first one he's harassed.

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Malconstant
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Malconstant » Sun Oct 16, 2011 1:52 am UTC

edit: I rescind the joke made in poor taste given context. Just wanted to put down something here so I can keep up with the thread easily
Last edited by Malconstant on Sun Oct 16, 2011 2:14 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby crowey » Sun Oct 16, 2011 2:11 am UTC

fuck off malconstant. That sort of suggestion, joking or otherwise is completely unacceptable on the fora in general, but especially in a safespace thread.


Plasmic, I don't really have any advice on how to deal with that sort of thing. I think I'd go for keeping my head down and keeping on walking. I don't know how much help the police would be, but it might be worth reporting in case he's a repeat offender.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aaeriele » Sun Oct 16, 2011 2:21 am UTC

Malconstant wrote:edit: I rescind the joke made in poor taste given context. Just wanted to put down something here so I can keep up with the thread easily

...that's a really shitty reason to make a poorly-thought-out post.
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