[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby UniqueScreenname » Tue Oct 09, 2012 8:27 pm UTC

Oh, yeah. I meant to say I told several people about that BMI BS and every single one of them had an full-body visceral reaction to it. It's disgusting.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby mochafairy » Wed Oct 10, 2012 4:03 am UTC

That info graph has me wanting to weigh my boobs >_>
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Wed Oct 10, 2012 5:47 am UTC

mochafairy wrote:That info graph has me wanting to weigh my boobs >_>

Me too! And see if they weigh different amounts, right and left. How would one go about doing something like that? Perhaps those kitchen carrot weighing things measured in OZ?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby thalia » Wed Oct 10, 2012 7:25 am UTC

Depressingly, cutting off my extra womanly weight only shifts my BMI down one point.

Does this work as well for a girl whose BMI is already pretty low?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby mochafairy » Wed Oct 10, 2012 4:08 pm UTC

Cathy wrote:
mochafairy wrote:That info graph has me wanting to weigh my boobs >_>

Me too! And see if they weigh different amounts, right and left. How would one go about doing something like that? Perhaps those kitchen carrot weighing things measured in OZ?


I'm actually thinking of having my SO hold one and then the other while I weigh myself. :lol:
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Fri Oct 12, 2012 12:37 am UTC

mochafairy wrote:
Cathy wrote:
mochafairy wrote:That info graph has me wanting to weigh my boobs >_>

Me too! And see if they weigh different amounts, right and left. How would one go about doing something like that? Perhaps those kitchen carrot weighing things measured in OZ?


I'm actually thinking of having my SO hold one and then the other while I weigh myself. :lol:

But then I'd have to buy a scale... :? I've been avoiding buying a scale so I don't freak myself out by trying to micromanage my weight. I seem to do best when I worry about eating healthy and not the way my body wrinkles on a given day, know what I mean?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby mochafairy » Fri Oct 12, 2012 1:50 am UTC

Yeah...I know how that is with a scale. I hide ours.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby PerchloricAcid » Fri Oct 12, 2012 8:38 am UTC

My BMI is already under 18, I will not try reducing it. :lol:

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby mochafairy » Thu Oct 18, 2012 3:57 am UTC

So, I met a high school student who is trying to get in to engineering, but she's not sure if it's what she really wants to do. Does anyone have any advice about how to deal with it?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby PictureSarah » Thu Oct 18, 2012 4:27 am UTC

Is there any way she could maybe go to one of the career fair sort of things for the STEM deparment at a college, and speak to some of the working engineers about what they do?

In whiny girly news: Bikini wax was way more painful today than it has been the last several times, and for some reason, the left side was far more sensitive than the right side. Is that normal?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby poxic » Thu Oct 18, 2012 4:42 am UTC

It's within the range of "bodies doing their normal, periodic weirdness thing". So, yes?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby mochafairy » Thu Oct 18, 2012 4:48 am UTC

She's actually done a few programming courses and is thinking of going in to robotics. I think what she's struggling with is the "what if I choose the wrong major"/"am I choosing this major for the wrong reasons" conundrum.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aaeriele » Thu Oct 18, 2012 4:59 am UTC

One thing you could mention is that especially the programming skills have a wide variety of applications, no matter what field she eventually winds up working in.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Apparently Anonymous » Sun Oct 21, 2012 10:14 am UTC

So I'm pretty uncomfortable with sexist humour and the likes, simply because I'm uncomfortable with stereotypes and generalizing and I feel like basing things, even just jokes, on that might make it more present/acceptable in people's minds.

When friends tell a joke/post a funny picture/make a remark that's humorously sexist, and I comment on it (usually saying I find it unhelpful/unfunny or that it makes me uncomfortable), they usually just go on to rage against the "PC brigade".
Even when I back my statements up with studies done on the topic (e.g. http://psp.sagepub.com/content/26/9/1094.short), they just don't see my point and often say it's harmless or even helps take power away from the stereotypes in that it makes us laugh at them.

How do you guys go about this?

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby UniqueScreenname » Sun Oct 21, 2012 1:30 pm UTC

I spend my time fighting against the stereotypes. If I defy enough stereotypes, when the jokes come up, all I have to do is stare at them and the people start to feel stupid, because they can tell it isn't true.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Apparently Anonymous » Mon Oct 22, 2012 9:42 am UTC

But the thing is, they claim the jokes underline the fact that the stereotypes aren't true.
I just feel like they do more to normalize them than to ridicule them, but have problems bringing that point across without seeming like I want to be controlling of how peope express themselves.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby poxic » Mon Oct 22, 2012 9:43 am UTC

I try to say things like "there are people who hear that stuff for real, every day. They don't find it amusing anymore." It sometimes works.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby LaSargenta » Mon Oct 22, 2012 12:52 pm UTC

I respond pretty aggressively. Depending on my mood, I might glare and say "Ahhhh, The Stereotype...last refuge of the terrified male." Or, sometimes I'm patient, waiting for the perfect moment to kill 'em with nasty humor.

Exhibit A: I was on a job that had an annoying superintendent, Tommy, about my height, and the same height lying down as standing up. He also perpetually had a cigar that was no more than 3 inches long in his mouth that would come out of there with an audible pop. Like a cartoon. Now, I'm an engineer, and I'm there to watch what this contractor is doing. There's a constant adversarial relationship to start with, and I'm well-aware that they pull all kinds of shit with the guys, too, it just takes on a different cast with females. Just about every day, he would try and work in some sexist comment. Finally, one day at coffee break there's a whole lot of people standing around, that is, AN AUDIENCE! :D Joy! I LOVE an audience! Tommy takes the cigar out -- pop! -- and turns to me, wagging the wet end of it in my direction, and says "Barefoot, pregnant and baking apple pie...that's what a woman's place is!" I responded "Tommy, there is one job, and one job only, that is EXCLUSIVELY a man's job ... [waited a beat or two]...and that's jerking off, 'cause if I do it for you, it's a hand job."

Cue explosive laughter from the assembled gang of all-male hard hats and Tommy turned bright red and walked away.

He avoided talking to me for a few days and never said that again.

He has since died of a heart attack, I heard, but, no, I didn't have anything to do with that.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby poxic » Mon Oct 22, 2012 8:16 pm UTC

Heh. I love it when people can pull off comebacks like that. I suck at that, so I rely more on empathy-based stuff.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby LaSargenta » Tue Oct 23, 2012 1:20 pm UTC

Well, the thing is, I don't find the 'empathy thing' works. It might when others do it, it just has never seemed to work for me. When I think it is working, I later find out that the fucked-up behaviour has just gone underground, so to speak, and takes a less-obvious form. So, I rely on the direct approach. Keeps everything out in the open, let's 'em know where I stand, and since I have managed to learn to do it with some humor, it (strangely enough) keeps doors from totally slamming shut. Doesn't work on everyone. But, hey, nothing's perfect.

I also couple this with actually taking an interest in these guys I have to be around, too. I don't shun them for their shitty behaviour. I work with them, they have to work with me, I hang with them at coffee or lunch or even sometimes drinks after (and NEVER EVER EVER date any of them!!!!!), and I try to just call them out when they say something fucked-up. I also praise them, however patronising that may seem, for things that they do right. Like, recently, I stopped by someone's desk and said thank you for using the phrase "Staffing Table" instead of "Manning Table" when putting together a proposal. Even I slip sometimes and use the wrong one...it's gotten so reflexive and ingrained. And, some might think it is petty, but, in the big long picture, it really isn't. Gives me a reputation as a bit of a weirdo bitch, but, as Oscar Wilde said, "There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about." Life's too short to be worried about being liked, especially by people who piss me off.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby PictureSarah » Tue Oct 23, 2012 3:01 pm UTC

Question for ladies in the thread who menstruate and are not on any kind of hormonal contraceptives: Do you spot when you ovulate? The last two months in a row, I have spotted a tiny amount for a day or two, right in the middle of my cycle. It's brownish/pinkish (not red, like menstrual blood), and very light. I googled, and it seems to fit the description for ovulation spotting, which I did not know was a thing, and I don't feel like anyone has ever mentioned. Should I be worried?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby thalia » Tue Oct 23, 2012 4:21 pm UTC

LaSargenta: do you think your aggressive method works for you, because you stand up to your bully?

Sometimes I'm okay with jokes at the expense of women, but it REALLY depends. You get that gut feeling, don't you, for when it is harmless and unoffensive and when it pushes your boundaries and makes you mad. If you're mad, it's out of line. To me, it's that simple I guess.

Maybe I feel that way because I rarely encounter these jokes.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existential_elevator » Tue Oct 23, 2012 4:38 pm UTC

PictureSarah wrote:Question for ladies in the thread who menstruate and are not on any kind of hormonal contraceptives: Do you spot when you ovulate? The last two months in a row, I have spotted a tiny amount for a day or two, right in the middle of my cycle. It's brownish/pinkish (not red, like menstrual blood), and very light. I googled, and it seems to fit the description for ovulation spotting, which I did not know was a thing, and I don't feel like anyone has ever mentioned. Should I be worried?

No. This happens to me too. Sometimes I get confused and think I'm having an early period, but then know I'm wrong two days later when there's no actual blood. I've never tried to correlate it with ovulation, but it happens mid-cycle usually, so I guess that's a good enough indicator.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby LaSargenta » Tue Oct 23, 2012 4:52 pm UTC

thalia, I think it works for me because it suits me. Maybe it wouldn't suit everyone.

My own experience is that people in a place of privilege (whatever that privilege is) don't take subtle hints and they don't respond at a gut-level to a request for empathy. Unless something happens to them which shakes their world-view and rattles the platform of privilege, there is no reason for them to examine their philosophy. Discussions with similies (eg: the thing you said about women is like if I said X about you) only work if in a conversation where your opponent is already intellectually engaged and, frankly, even then, it is temporary unless it is on-going and that takes endurance and an emotional investment for some reason. Movie-type conversions are far and few between.

So, changing the behaviour by setting boundaries is my strategy.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Enuja » Wed Oct 24, 2012 1:41 am UTC

Humor does not work for me at all. And I mean that in an almost literally and universal way. As my sister once said (and rightly quoted herself regularly afterward) "When I make a joke, I say something I mean in a serious tone of voice." My sense of humor is one thing I share with my sister. A big part of my lack of a sense of humor is that I don't, ever, think of something as "just a joke;" if it's offensive, then it's offensive, whether it's meant seriously or ironically. That's not to say I don't laugh, and make people laugh, all the time: I do. I like to laugh because I'm happy and because I see the inherent absurdity in life. But I don't use culturally expected "cutting" humor as a way of bonding, socializing, or trying to change people's minds. I know this sometimes handicaps with me communicating with other people, but I'm OK with that. I prefer to be serious about the things I'm serious about, and cheerful about the things I'm happy about.

It's more than OK for LaSargenta to use cutting humor to make her point, but it's also more than OK that poxic and I don't. There are a lot of different people, with a lot of different ways of relating, and accepting that diversity is just as important as accepting gender diversity. Strategies to deal with sexism are going to depend enormously on the rest of your personality and way of relating. And its good that a lot of different people do it differently: among all of us, there are enough strategies to hopefully eventually get to everybody.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby thalia » Wed Oct 24, 2012 7:38 am UTC

I know what you mean, Enuja. I would not wish to respond in a way that was not authentic to who I am, either. Like LaSargenta said; what she does works for her.

I just have this small nagging fear that my authentic response would be to a. scowl and be silent, and b. cry in a bathroom alone afterwards.

I think that's just a nagging fear, though. I know I can get pissed off when I have to.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby mochafairy » Wed Oct 24, 2012 7:55 am UTC

thalia wrote:I just have this small nagging fear that my authentic response would be to a. scowl and be silent, and b. cry in a bathroom alone afterwards.


That tends to be my response as well. When I do get pissed off enough to actually stand up...it's not exactly pretty. One of my friends said it was like watching a train wreck with a nuclear bomb exploding in the back ground. I'm not exactly sure what he meant by that, though. :roll:
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby LaSargenta » Wed Oct 24, 2012 1:38 pm UTC

There is also the fact that our response to things (anything, not just sexist b.s) changes as we go through different experiences and phases in our lives. The nature of how we get hassled changes, too. So, your response method now probably won't be your method in 10 or 20 years.

There are many ways of "fighting" back. Whatever tactics you use, do a self-check after, analyse the experience, make a plan (or run through a scenario) and remember that it gets easier with practice. Unfortunately, we all get lots of opportunity to practice this shit if we choose to.

*******************

This issue of response is also a part of how we communicate. I used to be much more explosive, kind of like what mochafairy describes. But, I was explosive in conflict of all kinds. I would stay silent (but resentful) for a while, then just go to a Mount Etna level of explosion...like Busta Rhymes' Extinction Level Event. Things change.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Mon Oct 29, 2012 6:31 pm UTC

So...I think I have figured something awesome out with regards to (at least some kinds of) acne. And I thought I'd share it with this thread!

Basically, especially on my chin for years I get HUGE pimples. Like, ones you start wondering if 5 merged together or something. Red, puffy from how much puss in them (which is so deep it never squeezes out). I've delt on and off with them my "whole life". And once one starts, it seems it just moves under the skin and never goes away. Well this last outbreak which has been since April of this year I got so fed up with it I decided to try something totally differently.

Treat them as subcutaneous infections, basically.

So what I did was this (and no makup or anything else used on them during this time)

For the first three days, I routently (2-3 times a day) squeezed out all the puss I could, then alcoholed them. Put alcohol on a tissue and just held it on for 10-15 seconds each. Stings like hell but it gets in there and dries it out well and soaks down into the pores really helps kill all the crap in there festering. This took down the swelling-ness and the painful pressure. But, it really dried up my skin of course.

So then I started to not touch them at all. At this point from the squeezing and alcohol they had formed scabs. 2-3 times a day I put on neosporin. That's it. Never touch them otherwise.

It's been almost week now, and while there is still redness on my chin, there are no new pimples forming, and the last of the large ones is almost gone. It's a lot less noticible to myself in the mirror, and I know we notice our "own flaws" more than others do, so I feel like prettymuch no one else would take a second look. A few cycles of skin from now I am certain it will smooth out the skintone, and it's wayyyyy better looking than it's been for the last...welll... six months!

Maybe this is helpful to some of you =)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby PAstrychef » Tue Oct 30, 2012 7:16 pm UTC

Some people find that pustules like that are related to diet more than skin issues. It's great that you have cleared up the problem at the moment, but you could see if reducing your dairy intake also helped reduce their appearance.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Ashlah » Tue Oct 30, 2012 7:58 pm UTC

I recently switched to almond milk to see if it helps my skin at all. Only been a week, so I can't say yet whether it's worked for me.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby sophyturtle » Tue Oct 30, 2012 8:27 pm UTC

Apparently Anonymous wrote:(e.g. http://psp.sagepub.com/content/26/9/1094.short),

Just saying I love this. And totally spread it on the internets where I could.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ » Tue Oct 30, 2012 10:31 pm UTC

RE: Sungura and zits
I kind of do the same thing, for my hidden expanse of zits that erupt fairly rarely and for Sharkweek zits. Those things are intense. I've found that a recurring zit will get smaller and stop coming back if you just keep draining it and covering it with antibiotic cream/neosporin. Even if there's no blood involved, the antibiotic cream kind of kills back the zit bacteria.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby PictureSarah » Thu Nov 01, 2012 1:24 am UTC

Does anyone else use www.cyclespage.com to track their menstrual cycle? I haven't been able to access it for a day now, and I am starting to be concerned. If it's gone for some reason, that would be 3ish years of data down the tubes (pun intended)!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby yurell » Thu Nov 01, 2012 5:16 am UTC

Is it being interrupted by the cyclone in the US? They may have shut down the server to be on the safe side if that's the case.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Thu Nov 01, 2012 7:58 pm UTC

PAstrychef wrote:Some people find that pustules like that are related to diet more than skin issues. It's great that you have cleared up the problem at the moment, but you could see if reducing your dairy intake also helped reduce their appearance.

Never heard about the dairy thing but if I reduce my dairy intake it will be not having cheese in casseroles, leaving eggs out of cooking, and things like that. I'm not a huge dairy fan so I don't have much of it anyway!

Meaux_Pas wrote:RE: Sungura and zits
I kind of do the same thing, for my hidden expanse of zits that erupt fairly rarely and for Sharkweek zits. Those things are intense. I've found that a recurring zit will get smaller and stop coming back if you just keep draining it and covering it with antibiotic cream/neosporin. Even if there's no blood involved, the antibiotic cream kind of kills back the zit bacteria.
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Sweet! Yeah it's what I'm doing...maybe I posted too early since some new ones errupted. THat seems to be the thing...get rid of a few, and more come

I had to go to the doc for unrelated ear pain and she noticed my horrible looking chin and asked me really nicely aobut it. I said yeahI've had that going on since I was about 14 and a dermitologist threw stuff at it nothing worked and I was told basically I was just fucked until my early 20's when my hornomes should settle and it will go away. Well I'm mid-20's and that never happened if anything they are worse now. So I have an appointment with a dermitologist now, like, 14 years later haha, and I guess there is some lazer thing they do now with cases like this which perminatly gets rid of them and with that history she thinks it's covered. Off to google-fu, but anyone have personal experience with this?
"Would you rather fight a Sungura-sized spider or 1000 spider-sized Sunguras?" -Zarq
she/her/they/snug/gender neutral

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Ashlah
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Ashlah » Thu Nov 01, 2012 8:31 pm UTC

No, but it sounds potentially awesome! I'd be interested in hearing what you learn about it.

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UniqueScreenname
Something something Purple. Stop asking.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby UniqueScreenname » Thu Nov 01, 2012 10:21 pm UTC

Diva Cup. Hate it. Sooooooo much.
PolakoVoador wrote:Pizza is never a question, pizza is always the answer.
poxic wrote:When we're stuck, flailing, and afraid, that's usually when we're running into the limitations of our old ways of doing things. Something new is being born. Stick around and find out what it is.

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Ashlah
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Ashlah » Fri Nov 02, 2012 10:45 pm UTC

I hate No-Shave November. A whole month of hearing how disgusting women's bodies are, oh boy. Seriously, does is ever NOT devolve into a discussion of whether women "should" or are "allowed" to participate, and how "icky" it would be? Sigh.

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Artemisia
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Artemisia » Sat Nov 03, 2012 12:01 pm UTC

it's going back a few subjects but can I just say I love the Curvy Caver graph?

Because I totally love it!

makes me want to weigh my boobs as well, no idea how that would work though...

ps. I'm back! Sorry it's been so long :)
This too shall pass


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