[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Fri Jan 18, 2013 2:05 am UTC

Lots of hugs to you, e_squirrel! <3

Stress makes it very hard for me to fall asleep. It's pretty icky.

I've been watching the show Once Upon a Time with a friend - it's my motivation to wake up before noon and try to keep my sleep on schedule. I really like it. The Hubby and I have also been watching How I Met Your Mother. I dislike Barney's character for so many reasons. It bugs me sometimes, the shitty comedic sexism. BLah.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Sat Jan 19, 2013 4:49 am UTC

Spoilered for weight talk of feeling very defeated so I don't want to depress those who don't want to read it. But I could use some advice so please read if you can.
Spoiler:
Does anyone have any good excersizes to tone bellies? I've been trying everything for the past year or two...crunches, v-ups, (basically every concevieable versions of situps insert here) tabletops/bridges (where you hold yourself on toes and elbows entire body flat and just raised off the ground), leglift things where you lie on your back and hold legs inches off...foot off...etc. Nothing seems to really work.

I've been able to tone my sides some (the sides of my abs are visible, actually) but the two flabbyfolds on the front of my tummy (I WISHHHH I had a smooth belly, but every woman in my family has this double-lump thing, which I absolutely hate) and while it shrinks some, and I can build muscle underneath (you can feel itabout 1/2 inch under the flab when standing, it gets hard and can tell it's muscle, of course when i sit this bunches up and looks kinda crappy impo).

It's one part of my body I really hate. And I keep trying sooooooo hard to fix it. Nothing seems to work. After a few months i get fed up and try something different. Few months later I get fed up and try more different. Nothing seems to work. I'm told if you fight hard enough, excersize will win out over genetics. But I'm starting to wonder the truth of this and getting very dejected and it's hurting my emotional state to work so hard at something for so long with no results.

A weeklong caving expedition in Mexico actually trimmed off 10 pounds so I feel a bit consoled for now. (really between being sick, not eating much, and shitton of activity i lost 15 but gained 5 back once back on a proper diet and not being sick). My pants are falling off. But I go to the store, and I can't get a size smaller because they keep making pants smaller and smaller, and I have HUGE thighs so this whole skinnyjean kick sucks as even cuts I used to be able to wear are being cut smaller and smaller in hips and thighs. So then that's depressing. Loosing weight and getting in great shape (except for the tummy, damn tummy refusing to cooperate!) but can't go down a jean size even when mine get too loose is just...crappy.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby bluebambue » Sat Jan 19, 2013 4:59 am UTC

Sungura:
Spoiler:
I don't really have any advice for you because your experience with trying to get a flatter belly is really normal. My understanding of biology is that targeting certain areas with exercise doesn't affect where fat is placed, but rather how much muscle is there. So when building up muscle can actually push fat out further. 6-pack abs don't come from being strong, they come from being skinny. So I think the only thing you can do is enjoy the fact that you're strong and don't worry when other people can't see the strength

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aaeriele » Sun Jan 20, 2013 7:21 pm UTC

I saw a link for this and was tickled by the idea.

http://www.leparcel.com/
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby bluebambue » Sun Jan 20, 2013 7:35 pm UTC

$15 for a months worth of supplies?

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Angua » Sun Jan 20, 2013 8:47 pm UTC

I guess they are giving chocolates as well? It does seem like a lot though.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby poxic » Sun Jan 20, 2013 8:53 pm UTC

I can see it being a (slightly-embarrassing-at-first) gift to a daughter who has just started menstruation. The daughter gets her own things delivered to her-- there's something slightly weird about raiding one's mom's supply of pads or plugs -- with a couple of treats. I'm not ecstatic about the packages including makeup, but many young girls would be interested in it.

Also potentially helpful: getting many types of pad-or-plug to experiment with, without having to buy a box of each.

Granted, I'm working at looking for the positive side here.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby LaSargenta » Sun Jan 20, 2013 10:29 pm UTC

Sungura wrote:... My pants are falling off. But I go to the store, and I can't get a size smaller because they keep making pants smaller and smaller, and I have HUGE thighs so this whole skinnyjean kick sucks as even cuts I used to be able to wear are being cut smaller and smaller in hips and thighs. So then that's depressing. Loosing weight and getting in great shape (except for the tummy, damn tummy refusing to cooperate!) but can't go down a jean size even when mine get too loose is just...crappy.


Tailoring. I swear by it. No one, and I mean No One, fits off-the-rack perfectly. If you look closely, everyone in something straight out of the store could use an alteration or two.

So...

Take your favorite, but now too large, pair of jeans off to a local tailor shop that has gotten some recommendations and ask for help. Even if the alterations cost as much as a new pair of jeans, I guarantee that if your current jeans aren't actually worn out, you will not feel ripped off. Clothing that fits always feels better than clothing that doesn't. And, remember, clothing that doesn't is just taking up real estate in your closet.

General comment about the exercise: Sounds like you are doing lots of great core work. That's really good. Try not to worry about the surface flesh as much. Remember to include something that'll get your heart pumping, too, though. Just walking at a good clip is great.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existential_squirrrel » Sun Jan 20, 2013 11:14 pm UTC

bleah. sick + shark week = teh suckpants


at least I was feeling well enough to wash my hair and trim the ends a bit this morning

feeling like shit now. I should curl up in a ball and sleep
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Virtual_Aardvark » Mon Jan 21, 2013 12:11 am UTC

Does anyone know some affordable US lingerie brands? A lot of companies don't carry my bra size (32C) so Vicky's Secret is right out. I'd like to do something for my lovers, all of whom are pretty into my femmeiness. And valentine's is coming up.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existential_squirrrel » Mon Jan 21, 2013 4:44 am UTC

V_A,

unfortunately, I am discomboobulated in regards to lingerie shopping. I get all my bras at Target or Walmart
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aaeriele » Mon Jan 21, 2013 6:56 am UTC

existential_squirrrel wrote:V_A,

unfortunately, I am discomboobulated in regards to lingerie shopping. I get all my bras at Target or Walmart


Similarly, I get nearly all of mine from H&M
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby poxic » Mon Jan 21, 2013 7:03 am UTC

There's nothing wrong with going to a department store or similar, as long as you're willing to Try On Everything In The Store, More Or Less, in order to get a decent fit.
A man who is 'ill-adjusted' to the world is always on the verge of finding himself. One who is adjusted to the world never finds himself, but gets to be a cabinet minister.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existential_squirrrel » Mon Jan 21, 2013 7:22 am UTC

existential_squirrrel wrote:I am discomboobulated... I get all my bras at Target or Walmart

... pretty sure I meant discombobulated.

oops... odd spelling error, but it fits :P
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby AngrySquirrel » Mon Jan 21, 2013 11:28 am UTC

Sungura wrote:Stuff related to bellies and pants.

As was said, you can't target weight loss. If your genetics say that your tummy-fat is the last thing to go then that's how it is. The only way to get a flat belly is to have very little fat overall. I say don't worry about it if you can. I have the exact same problem (also, strangely enough, most of my extra pounds seems to center on my back, wth? But now I'm going off on a tangent so I'll stop), and while it will bug me on bad days, in the end I'm trying to learn to accept that this is my body and what is required for my belly to become the way I'd like to ideally have it is just not worth the price it demands.

As for pants. FUCK THE SKINNYJEANS FAD. I can sew like crazy, adjusting pants to fit me is no problem as long as I can find some that are at least in the ballpark, but fuck skinny jeans. If I get them big enough to fit my legs they'll be so big at the waist that they fall off (I fix this with sewing and belts, but it still means all my jeans ends up looking really baggy over the bum), and if I get them fitting at the waist I'll have to slice them open at the legs to get them to fit there. I go to a store and ask for pants that are NOT skinny jeans, they go and find me EXTRA skinny jeans. Fuck that static.

Uhm so yes, not really helping here I guess, just uh, hey you're not alone, let me know if you figure out something that works for you.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby cephalopod9 » Mon Jan 21, 2013 12:16 pm UTC

poxic wrote:I can see it being a (slightly-embarrassing-at-first) gift to a daughter who has just started menstruation. The daughter gets her own things delivered to her-- there's something slightly weird about raiding one's mom's supply of pads or plugs -- with a couple of treats. I'm not ecstatic about the packages including makeup, but many young girls would be interested in it.

Also potentially helpful: getting many types of pad-or-plug to experiment with, without having to buy a box of each.

Granted, I'm working at looking for the positive side here.

The pastel on white color scheme is burning my eyes too much to figure out the details, but I kinda like the idea. In a "that sounds sort of fun" more than a "this a good idea I should do" kind of way. If I get to customize the look of it (silver and black, with heavy-metal-calligraphy font) I might go for it as a one time thing, maybe once every 3 months. 10 each of light, medium and heavy pads would be less trouble to store than the separate boxes of 40-60 that I buy because my brain prioritizes saving 3 cents per pad when I'm in a store setting. Why don't they sell (more?) "variety pack" type assortments?

I have a moon cup anyways.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby RollingHead » Mon Jan 21, 2013 4:19 pm UTC

existential_squirrrel wrote:
existential_squirrrel wrote:I am discomboobulated... I get all my bras at Target or Walmart

... pretty sure I meant discombobulated.

oops... odd spelling error, but it fits :P

I was so sure it was intentional, I'm almost disappointed.
I'd also like to put a word in for skinny jeans with elastic fabric, especially if thighs are wide compared to waist.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby AngrySquirrel » Mon Jan 21, 2013 4:28 pm UTC

Am I the only one that starts feeling like I have a fever whenever I wear something that is tight around my legs?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Angua » Mon Jan 21, 2013 4:29 pm UTC

Maybe not a fever, but tight clothing is not my thing at all.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Mon Jan 21, 2013 4:37 pm UTC

AngrySquirrel wrote:
Sungura wrote:Stuff related to bellies and pants.

As was said, you can't target weight loss. If your genetics say that your tummy-fat is the last thing to go then that's how it is. The only way to get a flat belly is to have very little fat overall. I say don't worry about it if you can. I have the exact same problem (also, strangely enough, most of my extra pounds seems to center on my back, wth? But now I'm going off on a tangent so I'll stop), and while it will bug me on bad days, in the end I'm trying to learn to accept that this is my body and what is required for my belly to become the way I'd like to ideally have it is just not worth the price it demands.

As for pants. FUCK THE SKINNYJEANS FAD. I can sew like crazy, adjusting pants to fit me is no problem as long as I can find some that are at least in the ballpark, but fuck skinny jeans. If I get them big enough to fit my legs they'll be so big at the waist that they fall off (I fix this with sewing and belts, but it still means all my jeans ends up looking really baggy over the bum), and if I get them fitting at the waist I'll have to slice them open at the legs to get them to fit there. I go to a store and ask for pants that are NOT skinny jeans, they go and find me EXTRA skinny jeans. Fuck that static.

Uhm so yes, not really helping here I guess, just uh, hey you're not alone, let me know if you figure out something that works for you.

Spoiler:
Thanks Squirrel. Maybe it is kinda hopeless. The guys I go caving with though say working out can and does trump genetics eventually, but I do wonder if this is more true for folks with more testosterone or something (trying to figure out a way to stay gender-neutral here) as they are already more prone to build muscle and burn fat. In a way this dejects me because i'm like....I'm doing the same activities same amount (if not MORE) and they can get 6-packs and I can get a bit of definition on my sides. Although my shoulders are starting to look pretty killer.

I was a size 12 until I was 14 or so. Then my hips really started to come in. I was a US size 14 from ages 14-16 and around age of 16 my hips decided to grow some more and my thighs really filled out muscularly and I've been a size 16 ever since. Even when I loose weight and go to the store to get new pants all excited to go down a size, I find they made them smaller yet again, and I'm still a fucking size 16. I used to have a pair of size 10's my mom wore ages ago but quickly got out of (she had them right before she had me and so they were in great shape). Those fit me damn fine. So I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCKKKKK.

Anyway, apparently Levis style 529 curvy boot cut are the ones that fit. Found and got one pair. They had no more :/

Don't even get me started on outdoors clothes...I do sooooo much hiking/backpacking/etc etc I really desire a good collection of hiking pants. Stores don't even CARRY anything above a size 12 so I can't even find out what brands/types fit!!! What. The. Fuck. Oh yeah, FAT GIRLS LIKE ME DONT DO SHIT, right??? We sit on our asses all day and eat cheetos and chocolate which is why we are soooo fattttt and we'd never go do all this activity that have most people looking at me like 'Really? you do all that? that would kill me to do even for a day!" :roll:
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby LaSargenta » Mon Jan 21, 2013 6:05 pm UTC

Sungura wrote: Stores don't even CARRY anything above a size 12 so I can't even find out what brands/types fit!!! What. The. Fuck.


REI? http://www.rei.com/category/4500013 (That's just Women's Clothing in general. The search on the left gives the size ranges.)

My fave outdoor gear store 'cause I go there in person a couple times a year: http://www.vermontgear.com/womens-pants-jeans.html Farm-Way in Bradford, VT. they ship anywhere and have a range of sizes. Carhartts wear really well.

And, yes, I hate skinny jeans, too. I also hate lo-rise. I like being able to tuck things in to a waist band. I find that the Levi's Perfect waist straight leg are the way for me to go. I think up to 16 is available on the levi's website. I have also, I confess, in my past bought incredibly expensive jeans from Adriano Goldschmeid. They make a crazy range of cuts, but their largest waist size is 32. In maternity they go up to a whopping 35. (Their maternity jeans are pretty good-looking, tho'.)
Last edited by LaSargenta on Mon Jan 21, 2013 6:16 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby crowey » Mon Jan 21, 2013 6:07 pm UTC

re weight loss, bellies, etc: I also have a tendency to store fat on my stomach rather than anywhere else, in the last 12 months I've lost about 40 lbs and dropped 1.5 dress sizes...
Spoiler:
Abs are made in the kitchen. If you want a flat belly, you need to lose fat. The most effective way to do that is to eat less/better as you can't out-exercise a bad diet (seriously, if I at what I wanted to every day, I'd have to do at least an hour run every day, just to not gain weight).
You can't spot-reduce fat, at best you can improve your posture to reduce the appearance of belly fat, but no number of crunches will make you ripped if your bodyfat% isn't low enough. (this article is written by a guy with a bit of an attitude problem(he calls women 'females'-ew!), but his main points and the information is correct. Like people said up-thread building muscle underneath fat will only make you look bulkier (but building muscle can help lose fat overall, eventually)!

If you really do want to lose some fat, eat less/do more. I found running and calorie counting to work, but different folks like different things. apps/websites such as livestrong or myfitnesspal are reasonable tools for working out what you've consumed and what you've burned. You need to be accurate on portion sizes or it's not worth the effort, most suggested serving sizes are upsettingly small (I'm looking at you 30g of cereal is a portion. MY ASS is it a portion).

exercise wise, lifting weights will increase your muscle mass, which will mean you burn more calories even when you're doing nothing, so building some muscle will help lose weight quicker, when combined with proper diet. You won't bulk up like a man will, you won't even get madonna-arms without some severe gym time, scary diets and possibly steriod use. Gaining strength will probably help with the caving too, look up starting strength or the new rules of lifting for women, they're both good guides. Cardio exercise such as running, cycling or swimming will also burn a good amount of calories per hour.
Unless you have a specific goal it's probably best to do a combination of both weight lifting and cardio exercise, it's harder to get bored if you don't do the same thing day in-day out.

Diet wise, you don't need to do anything crazy drastic like going on atkins, but being more aware of what you're eating can be quite eye-opening. I didn't have a particularly bad diet, but I was still eating more than I needed to through larger portions of breakfast cereal and fruitjuice (delicious but full of calories). Simple cutting out of candy, sugary drinks and junky snacks can work wonders. If you're exercising more, you want to aim for at least 100g of protein a day, up to 1g of protein per lb of body weight. This has a dual function, protein makes you feel fuller for longer, so you're less likely to eat other stuff and a high protein intake protects your muscles from being depleted by your body when you're on a low calorie diet. Lean protein plus lots of green veg and some fruit and not too much of the starchy things like pasta and potatoes, will work wonders.
Eggs are like magic food, filling and tasty as a snack, but low on the calorie count and good on some vitamins too. Boil a load and have them in the fridge for when the need to snack strikes.

Calculate your BMR here: here and then eat less than that. (I always put in my activity level as sedentary so that it doesn't assume I'm more active than I really am- even though I go running most days, I figure that way there's some room for maneuver if the calculations are a bit off). Eating 500 calories less than you burn, per day, will mean you lose ~1lb a week.

I would suggest that if you're doing the exact same exercise as the men you cave with there are two factors at play, first, they are probably more muscled than you and so their BMR is higher, and they burn through more calories per day than you do. Second, their diets might have fewer calories in than yours does.
(also, do you know how much they work out when not caving? I bet some of them do other exercise too)

If you're really truly struggling to lose weight after trying at diet and exercise, speak to your doctor as there are some hormonal/metabolic disorders can make it hard to lose weight.

check out http://www.reddit.com/r/xxfitness for some useful discussion, and http://rsilver22.typepad.com/blog/2012/ ... n-out.html is quite good too

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Mon Jan 21, 2013 6:47 pm UTC

We don't have an REI here. Closest is 4 hrs away.

Spoiler:
Okay so my daily requirements are 2003 calories a day on that calculator assuming sedimentary lifestyle (so NOT true, weekends are full of hard activity, and often time weeknights too).

My intake is (i counted for a few weeks) around 1500 so I'm already consuming way less than I should, and often days, even less. (I rarely eat breakfast or lunch, I'm never hungry, i force myself to snack on carrots+hummas and the like to put something in my stomach. The only times I'm hungry are after a hard day of caving or a long day of capoeira.) So that means around 500-1000calories is really more of my typical daily intake, although I've been trying to do better and eat throughout the day. Basically, I should be loosing a fuckton of weight and that never happens. My calorie intake is low, my excersize level is high, I do try to eat protein, my fav being chicken and rabbit (both healthy meats). (Sorry, I HATE eggs, I can sometimes stomach them without wanting to puke them right up.)

So yeah. I'm just fucked. I've always thought that I could be insulin resistant or something like that because it's been this way my whole life, but when I do bother asking the doctor at different points in my life they run a bloodtest say my levels are fine and that's not the problem I just need more diet and more excersize.

I dont want to kill myself. I don't want to stress out aobut this. But I know I should be one way, and I'm not, so I feel horrible. There are some nights I don't even want my bf to touch me because I feel so nasty about my belly. And since I am down to the one pair of jeans he keep smaking me shop for clothes because I really do need some, but I hate shoping for clothes because nothing fits my chest or hips and it just makes me feel ugly and depressed. So then I just excersize more and eat even less to try and control it, which I know isn't healthy, and it never helps my looks or weight anyway, but I just...I just get to my wit's end about this.

I'd like to think I'm perfectly active enough and in good shape...this was a 5 day exped to Mexico, long jungle trecks to and from the pits (with drastic elevation changes carrying a 50lb pack+) and running a mile of rope over the 5 days. I just...I don't understand how I can do all this stuff and yet my body looks how it does...and yet people look at me and see my belly and assume I'm a lazy slob or something.
Last edited by Sungura on Tue Jan 22, 2013 8:45 pm UTC, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby PictureSarah » Mon Jan 21, 2013 8:14 pm UTC

You could try ordering outdoor stuff online from Sierra Trading Post. They have really good sales, and they often have larger sizes.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby PictureSarah » Mon Jan 21, 2013 8:14 pm UTC

You could try ordering outdoor stuff online from Sierra Trading Post. They have really good sales, and they often have larger sizes.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby crowey » Mon Jan 21, 2013 8:20 pm UTC

Spoiler:
If you really are eating 1000-1500 cals a day and doing activity on a fairly regular basis, and not losing weight, I think you need to speak to a doctor fairly quickly, because that's not good. You might have to be insistent and present them with a comprehensive food diary covering a month or two. Track everything, drinks and small snacks easily add up to more than you might think. And like I said, portion sizes can be very deceptive, doctors know this, if you want to convince a medic you'll have to weigh out and log every little thing.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Mon Jan 21, 2013 10:18 pm UTC

Yeah I do use Sierra Trading Post a lot =) Just got a raincoat from them actually ordered it today. I learned I need one...apparently ours are not actually waterproof (wtf?).

crowey wrote:
Spoiler:
If you really are eating 1000-1500 cals a day and doing activity on a fairly regular basis, and not losing weight, I think you need to speak to a doctor fairly quickly, because that's not good. You might have to be insistent and present them with a comprehensive food diary covering a month or two. Track everything, drinks and small snacks easily add up to more than you might think. And like I said, portion sizes can be very deceptive, doctors know this, if you want to convince a medic you'll have to weigh out and log every little thing.

Spoiler:
Okay, maybe I'll have to do that. For as long as I can remember, I don't get hungry. I don't feel the urge to eat. I eat because I know I should is all. I have, in the past when living on my own, forgotten to eat for a few days, and only figured it out because I'd almost, or would, pass out when doing something active. And then I'd remember. I'd say something is wrong with that! But no doctor is ever concerned, only friends yell at me for it. All blood tests I've ever gotten my glucose is very low. Really, overall I'm usually quite deficient in most things. I get headaches a lot, that's my other clue I need to eat and/or drink. It's like my body never processes anything, ever, it just shoves it all to storage. I really feel like that's what is going on. It doesn't matter what I eat before big activity, I never feel more or less energetic depending on what I eat. I do get protein cravings so as I said I tend to eat a lot of chicken. Rabbit is harder to come by (I dont have any meat rabbits). Even over Christmas, when I'll admit I ate horribly lol, I didn't gain an ounce. It really does not fucking matter what I eat. Or what I do. Everything stays the same. My weight varies +/- 5 pounds over the weeks/months, but this is water weight. I've always thought something was wrong, but could never get any medical professional to beleive me. Which, should tell me all the more I'm right because in my life every time I've been convinced of something (I have an advanced degree in anatomy & cell biology, first year courses were the same as medical students so I'm not a dumbie with medical issues) I've been right and the doctor's have been wrong and it's always a fucking fight to get them to believe me. Every. Damn. Time. You'd think they'd learn I was right??!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Enuja » Tue Jan 22, 2013 12:39 am UTC

To Sungura:
Spoiler:
There isn't necessarily anything medically wrong with your body. When we eat a tiny number of calories, our bodies go into starvation mode and conserve. You've got a weight set point where you don't want one (curse fat cells for being a part of the endocrine system), but you can still be healthy. Eat plenty of healthy food, and feel good about the wonderful things your body does for you in caving and other active endeavors. Believe your boyfriend when he says he likes your body. It's OK that you have a belly. Yes, belly fat isn't the healthiest, but starving yourself is far less healthy. Keep exercising, work on learning to pick up on your body's hunger cues, and know that you are beautiful the way you are right now.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby UniqueScreenname » Tue Jan 22, 2013 3:35 am UTC

Spoiler:
I would be content with having boobs that go out farther than your stomach. That is my goal. I am failing.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Tue Jan 22, 2013 4:37 am UTC

Re: Unique Screenname

Spoiler:
That is so heavily dependent on genetics! I would suggest a different goal like inches around the stomach in proportion to hips or something?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby apricity » Tue Jan 22, 2013 5:29 am UTC

Enuja wrote:To Sungura:
Spoiler:
There isn't necessarily anything medically wrong with your body. When we eat a tiny number of calories, our bodies go into starvation mode and conserve. You've got a weight set point where you don't want one (curse fat cells for being a part of the endocrine system), but you can still be healthy. Eat plenty of healthy food, and feel good about the wonderful things your body does for you in caving and other active endeavors. Believe your boyfriend when he says he likes your body. It's OK that you have a belly. Yes, belly fat isn't the healthiest, but starving yourself is far less healthy. Keep exercising, work on learning to pick up on your body's hunger cues, and know that you are beautiful the way you are right now.
Spoiler:
THIS. If your body thinks you're starving, it will hold onto every single calorie that you eat. I agree with crowey that you should go to a doctor, probably either a nutritionist or someone who specializes in disordered eating. Whether or not you have an eating disorder, it's clear that you're not eating enough to sustain your lifestyle, which means your eating patterns need to be adjusted. A doctor/nutritionist/ED specialist can help with that.

I'm sorry that you're dealing with this. I've struggled with my weight forever, and my stomach does a fold-thing that I never liked. Accepting it was one of the hardest things I have done, and I still get annoyed about it sometimes and wish it would go away. If it's really screwing with you psychologically, you could also look into surgery (tummy-tucks and so forth).
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Kithplana » Tue Jan 22, 2013 6:46 am UTC

UniqueScreenname wrote:
Spoiler:
I would be content with having boobs that go out farther than your stomach. That is my goal. I am failing.

Spoiler:
I'd have to go practically concave in the midsection to achieve that. Now, if my tummy migrated to my boobs...

I feel like I shouldn't worry or be terribly self-conscious about my tummy but I kind of do. Sometime after I went on birth control for the first time I gained 15-20 pounds (on my skinny 5'3" frame) and, while it brought me up to an A cup, the rest of it seemed to settle in my midsection. Never went away after I went off birth control, though I was hoping it would. I was hoping that working out would help, but I've only gained weight since then (which is okay because I know the difference is all muscle). It never really bothered me until I got occasional comments from my ex and his niece asking if I was pregnant. (Yeah, when your husband asks if you're sure you're not pregnant due to your size, and implies that you should get breast implants, you might get a leetle insecure.) Even then, I could later blame that on general screwed-up-ness on the part of him and his family, but then two other people who knew I'd been married asked me if I was pregnant. >_<

I know I could definitely lose it (because of similar physiology) if I did what my dad did, which was pretty much a few months of strict diet and exercise that rebuilt him with muscle from the ground up, but I'm not quite that motivated... so I just try not to care, and rest in the fact that additional weight gain is going to be muscle.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Tue Jan 22, 2013 4:22 pm UTC

lanicita wrote:
Enuja wrote:To Sungura:
Spoiler:
There isn't necessarily anything medically wrong with your body. When we eat a tiny number of calories, our bodies go into starvation mode and conserve. You've got a weight set point where you don't want one (curse fat cells for being a part of the endocrine system), but you can still be healthy. Eat plenty of healthy food, and feel good about the wonderful things your body does for you in caving and other active endeavors. Believe your boyfriend when he says he likes your body. It's OK that you have a belly. Yes, belly fat isn't the healthiest, but starving yourself is far less healthy. Keep exercising, work on learning to pick up on your body's hunger cues, and know that you are beautiful the way you are right now.
Spoiler:
THIS. If your body thinks you're starving, it will hold onto every single calorie that you eat. I agree with crowey that you should go to a doctor, probably either a nutritionist or someone who specializes in disordered eating. Whether or not you have an eating disorder, it's clear that you're not eating enough to sustain your lifestyle, which means your eating patterns need to be adjusted. A doctor/nutritionist/ED specialist can help with that.

I'm sorry that you're dealing with this. I've struggled with my weight forever, and my stomach does a fold-thing that I never liked. Accepting it was one of the hardest things I have done, and I still get annoyed about it sometimes and wish it would go away. If it's really screwing with you psychologically, you could also look into surgery (tummy-tucks and so forth).

Spoiler:
yeah I know it's why I've been trying really hard to have something like fruit or granola for breakfast then I have been liking carrots dipped in humas for lunch and then dinner I do eat more substatial. Eating a little for breakfast has helped get my metabolism going I can tell because when I do by the end of the day I'm feeling a bit of a sensation I learned to identify as hunger. I do good most days these days (going without for days is something of the past when I lived on my own).

I feel in a bit better of a place today... I didn't look as ugly in front of the mirror this morning. Last night we were shopping for a lightweight pot to use as a backpacking pot (found one! It plus the alcohol stove we made weighs 8oz! Can't buy lighter than that! Ad one ounce of fuel which is just denatured alcohol boils 2 cups of water in 5 minutes!) anyway while at the store I thought I'd check for hiking pants again. Of course nothing above a size 10 but on a clearance rack I found a cute skirt that fit and looks awesome for $10 it has pockets and is poly/nylon so it's a proper outdoor skirt. It's liner is even stitched as shorts which is awesome! I wouldn't hike in it but perfect for around camp and caving weekends in the summer.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Apparently Anonymous » Tue Jan 22, 2013 4:51 pm UTC

Don't mean to interrupt the discussion here, just need to vent a little bit.
It frustrates me so much how some guys just don't seem to want to try to understand my point of view.
I linked this article: http://www.rolereboot.org/culture-and-p ... de-the-bar
in a chat group, and commented that I've also walked home with my keys pushed through my knuckles a fair few times, and the first response I get?
"you have trust issues"
:(

I just wish I could make them understand, but I have no idea how.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby LaSargenta » Tue Jan 22, 2013 5:04 pm UTC

They probably won't ever get it. But, you could also link to your local Hollaback. Here's one of them: http://nyc.ihollaback.org/

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Enuja » Tue Jan 22, 2013 6:19 pm UTC

Sungura, so glad you're feeling a bit better! Off the self clothes fit no one (except the "fit model", and only in that one size) perfectly. I have been buying (slightly big for me) clothing at the thrift store and then customizing it to fit me. I even found a pair of camping pants in a thrift store, once. But I don't actually have any camping pants that fit me well, because I haven't altered any of them (they are usually a complicated sewing challenge). I will never forget a guest on the radio saying that, in the movies, even the T-shirts are altered to fit the actors.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Fri Jan 25, 2013 3:32 am UTC

@Enuja, I've read the same thing. It's hard for, say, Angelina Jolie, to not look amazing in clothes that were specifically made for her body type and exact measurements. We would too!

I've been off to a great start to the school year. Doing homework! Finding groups! Talking to teachers! Hurrah. It's really somewhat amazing what having a therapist can do for my motivation. Yay!

On a downer note, it seems I have wisdom teeth. Blah. I'm getting a panoramic x-ray tomorrow and then I'll know if I have to get them removed. I thought people got their wisdom teeth removed at 16 and 17? Not 22!! :(
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby poxic » Fri Jan 25, 2013 3:34 am UTC

I was in my 20s when mine were pulled. Maybe 23. (Only one was giving me a tiny bit of trouble, but the dentist immediately said "out they come".)
A man who is 'ill-adjusted' to the world is always on the verge of finding himself. One who is adjusted to the world never finds himself, but gets to be a cabinet minister.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby PictureSarah » Fri Jan 25, 2013 3:51 am UTC

I was 21. It wasn't that bad after I got the good drugs.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby UniqueScreenname » Fri Jan 25, 2013 4:12 am UTC

20. Knock yourself out if you can.
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