[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby PAstrychef » Wed Sep 02, 2015 12:12 am UTC

It also sounds like you need to check in with your doctor. I'd bet your hormonal balance has changed since the surgery, and post-op discomfort may well have contributed to the mindset of no sexytimes.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby addams » Wed Sep 02, 2015 3:33 am UTC

Sungura;
I'm so sorry you are going through that.
I am glad to inform you that you live in the 21st century.

Talk to your Doc, if you have one of the Good Ones.
Yes. It may be a hiccup in your hormone levels.

(shh) I went through a training program with a woman.
She and I were study partners and we chatted, too.

She was with a man that needed The Little Blue Pill.
One week-end she decided to try it, too.

She said, "It Worked!" "It Really Worked!"
Poor thing. It worked for Days!

Monday morning she called me aside in the sterilizer room and told me she was Hot for every man in the building.
It was so funny to me. Of course, she could control it. But... It's funny. She said, "If that man knew what I was thinking..."

Maybe, your Doc will give you a Little Blue Pill.
Sometimes, we need to get the spring flowing again and it will continue to flow on its own after that.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
What more can I do? Recommend Porn?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Wed Sep 02, 2015 4:08 am UTC

thanks for the ideas
Last edited by Sungura on Wed Sep 02, 2015 5:51 pm UTC, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existential_elevator » Wed Sep 02, 2015 5:21 pm UTC

Woman thread, can I rest in your arms and/or solicit advice, re: periods / rebelling wombs?

I'm gonna spoiler all this for TMI

Spoiler:
So... right. I'm a haemophiliac and also a womb-owner. Hello! Specifically, I have Hageman Factor Deficiency (Factor XII haemophilia). Now, this is super duper rare (approx 1 in 1 million), rare enough that I've never managed to have a sensible conversation with a haematologist about it, and rare enough that if I mention it to a GP they tend to just freak the hell out, because female haemophiliacs don't really exist. There's also very little helpful information about this on the interwebs, and you have to dig a bit to get beyond 'no symptoms / complications' (some of the actual literature suggests symptoms vary in presentation and severity).
For the longest time I didn't understand that the analogy to blood in expressions around menstruating were in any way factual, I never really bled as much as had a week of excreting gelatinous sludge like stuff. And then I got an IUD! And from that point on I actually bled, and suddenly the whole 'period blood' thing made sense because hello this is a liquid not a solid. Anyway, since then, much less pain, but Shark Week pattern is something like 1 - 3 days of low bleed, around 12 hours of being the Niagara Falls (which I kindly call "the Bloodening"), and then a few days of 'medium' tapering out to nothing at around 8 or so days.
Anyway, today was awful. About 3 hours in to work and fresh sanitary everything, I managed to bleed through a mooncup + nighttime towel, straight on to quite visible patch on trousers. In the middle of meetings :( It was like being 14 again in the worst way possible. Nowhere to hide etc, but whatever, awful day on so many counts. Some days I really can't schedule or prepare for bathroom breaks at 1.5 - 2hr intervals, like I seem to need.
Here's where I want the advice...
(1) the blood disorder I have is so rare that I can't seem to, at least with my very minimal knowledge, link the whole ridiculous-periods thing to the blood disorder thing. Is it a safe assumption to make? Could it be something else?
(2) on the basis of the above, and the further assumption that my GP won't be a lot of use, should I be pushing to see a haematologist or a gynaecologist? The last haematologist I saw wasn't very interested in talking period stuff with me, and I've never seen a gynaecologist before so I've no idea if they'd be able to link the two.
I'm not really sure what kinds of options would even be available to me, but it feels like it might be the time to have The Talk with someone. Especially given how shaky / ill those bad days make me.

I feel like what I need is to talk to a researcher with an interest in Hageman's and find out from them some stuff :/ I doubt that's really feasible. All I've found out on my own is that there's some research that might link Hageman's to a higher rate of miscarriage. I do not know enough biology to work out how relevant that is to my situation.

If anyone in or near this thread has a similar haemophiliac condition and also a womb, and would be happy to share experiences I'd really appreciate it. But then, well, yeah, I know that's very unlikely.


TL;DR - womb-owning haemophiliac bleeds an awful lot and could use a little advice on how to get the right medical support.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Angua » Wed Sep 02, 2015 5:48 pm UTC

I think a gynaecologist might be the best way to go, especially if this has been worsening after an IUD insertion. They would also be able to recommend treatments that can help for general causes of menorrhagia. They might want joint input, but they are probably the best to start out with - the haematologist will like want a gynae review anyway to make sure that nothing is being missed. Female haemophiliacs are rarer, but it's only the two major types that are x-linked, with the rest being autosomal recessive so it's something they should be aware of. I would probably push for your gp to refer you to both as you'll likely need joint input, but if they will only go for one then it would probably be the most helpful to have a gynae opinion.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Artemisia » Wed Sep 02, 2015 6:00 pm UTC

Quercus wrote:
Sungura wrote:So...does the book address any of that?

I would say from what I've read so far that it likely does address lots of that, but just in case Artemisia doesn't get back to you feel free to pester me in a couple of weeks once I've had a chance to read the whole thing and I'll let you know for definite.

Hi Sungura! Yes, most definitely, both topics are covered literally. I would not be doing the book justice (nor you for that matter!) to summarise in a few words what I think is going on with you, so I'm not really sure what else you would like me to say other than assure you that I believe it's also a book for you.

[edit] e_e: do you have a hormonal IUD or non hormonal? an IUD normally would decrease bleeding, not increase. So I would include a possibly unhelpful GP in your search for help regardless, just in case you indeed need a combination of specialists looking into your case. He* ought to be the one coordinating them, so keep him in the loop.
(*or she)
This too shall pass

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Artemisia » Sun Sep 06, 2015 10:28 pm UTC

completely unrelated to above post so sorry for the double post, but I just read through the London meetup thread and found out I *nearly* met Sungura and *actually* met e_e and I feel so bad for not remembering!

I'm also sad for having left London. It's a bit bittersweet to be remembered of my life back with my now-ex-husband, who incidentally came by today to drop something off for me. We're not keeping in touch and I prefer it that way but it's still.. weird, familiar and yet not really.

I do not like looking back and being all sentimental about it. It's going to be similarly weird being back in London in a couple of weeks (for those who do not see FaiD, we're planning a meetup on Sunday 20 September at ye olde cheshire cheese pub).
This too shall pass

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby addams » Mon Sep 07, 2015 12:06 am UTC

Dear existential_elevator;
You, our darling, are a rare bird.

Angua's advice seems level headed, rational and well thought out.
I'll second her advice. Another vote for the gynecologist.

(Gosh) Like most of your medical providers,
I've never met a female hemophiliac.

I have questions.
Kind'a dumb ones but...Still..

I deleted the list of questions.
If you want to tell, please do.

If you don't want to explain it for the ten thousandth time.
Then, please don't. You sure are interesting to me.

I hope the next medical professional you see is
understanding and willing to become an informed semi-expert.

Spoiler:
oh, I can understand some of your post, because I experienced what it is to be an adult working professional
that has bled through two maxi-pads, the largest overnight tampon available,
a pair of uniform pants and still left a pool of blood on my seat after one hour and ten minutes.

hydrogen peroxide 3% is very nice for cleaning up bloody messes.
I expect you already know that.


*e-hugs* I've got my fingers crossed for you.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Moo » Tue Sep 15, 2015 7:48 am UTC

Ranty, self indulgent and whiny things below.

Spoiler:
A friend just announced on Facebook that their daughter, who is a few months younger than my son, will soon have a little brother or sister and I'm working hard to not cry at work right now.

I am happy for them. I really am. They lost a baby before their daughter, and they almost lost the mom during the delivery. They were told they'll probably never have another.

I have friends who have lost kids or are over 40 and single, who wish they could have just one child, and I am very grateful for mine. I really am.

It's been less than a month after my laporoscopy, so there's still much to be seen, I may be able to get pregnant easily now after the surgery.

But it still hurts. My boy is growing up so fast and he so desperately wants a sibling. I so desperately want that for him too. My husband is 40 and waited so patiently until I was ready to have kids, but I know he feels his age and worries about how old he'll be when our kids are growing up, and if he'll be able to keep up with them and play with them and how much of their adult lives we'll get to see.

I don't really have anywhere else I can indulge in this self pity, knowing how lucky I am in so many ways; so once again I'm using the woman thread as a one person pity party slash confessional.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby ObsessoMom » Tue Sep 15, 2015 4:54 pm UTC

A hug is offered, if you want one, Moo.

Emotions and logic are two different things. Sometimes they line up nicely, and sometimes they don't. Knowing that it's unreasonable for me to feel a certain way has never done much to stop me from feeling that way. Feelings tend to be whatever they want to be.

Generally, I find it's best to be honest about what I really feel, rather than to waste energy trying to pretend I feel things I don't--even if I suspect that other people may be judging me for not having the "right" emotions.

[Edited to say: I said something about adoption, but that's a whole other powderkeg of volatile emotions you really don't need to deal with right now, with a whole bunch of other societal expectations of how you "should" feel...so I'll yank it out and just say that whatever you're feeling about this particular moment of your life, those are perfectly valid feelings, and not at all whiny or self-indulgent.]

I wish you peace and joy, however things turn out.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Moo » Wed Sep 16, 2015 2:38 pm UTC

Thank you
Proverbs 9:7-8 wrote:Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. So don't bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Thu Sep 17, 2015 6:30 pm UTC

If we do not self-indulge, we cannot deal with feelings and grow past. Whinny and self-indulgence is HEALTHY and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. We have a horrible habit of society to label emotions as "good" and "bad" rather than just "they are". Hugs from America if you like.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Artemisia » Sun Sep 20, 2015 10:57 am UTC

echo'd. no judgement on feelings Moo. they're honest feelings and deserve validation.

you should really read Emily Nagoski's book. I experienced that book as one big hug.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Moo » Mon Sep 21, 2015 8:09 am UTC

Thanks guys :)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existential_elevator » Sun Sep 27, 2015 9:50 am UTC

Angua wrote:menorrhagia
Angua, thank you. Having this word alone was amazingly helpful, and got me in the right direction of getting good information. I'd been told by a previous GP that basically if I wasn't interested in hormonal treatments, there was no point in giving me a referral, but reading up now I at least know there is more that can be done, and without hormones. Some of it is basically the same thing my dentist does! :D Admittedly I'm still too anxious to sort out an appointment, but I've now got the right information, and that will definitely make a big difference. Thanks so much.
Artemisia wrote:e_e: do you have a hormonal IUD or non hormonal?
Non-hormonal. There are a lot of genetic things in my family that make me a bit wary about even localised hormonal things. I should read up again and check the risks.
addams wrote:I have questions.
Kind'a dumb ones but...Still..
Feel free to ask! For the most part it doesn't affect my life, so I'm quite lucky.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Angua » Sun Sep 27, 2015 10:12 am UTC

I'm glad that I could help.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Artemisia » Sun Sep 27, 2015 3:21 pm UTC

existential_elevator wrote:
Artemisia wrote:e_e: do you have a hormonal IUD or non hormonal?
Non-hormonal. There are a lot of genetic things in my family that make me a bit wary about even localised hormonal things. I should read up again and check the risks.

Hormonal IUD's have proven to lessen the monthly bleeding for most women who use it. I have heard from women suffering from excessive bleeding who were prescribed the hormonal IUD. The benefits from lesser bleeding may outweigh your worry for family genetics (I'm guessing you're referring to blood clots) and this should be something to really discuss with your GP. Blood clots are obviously a serious concern, but so is bleeding excessively every month and your GP should be able to help you make an informed decision.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Sun Sep 27, 2015 8:34 pm UTC

My mom got blood clots from "the pill" back in the day. And there are some genetics that counter indicate usage (my cousins have same gene) they did testing on me and I can't remember everything but I think it was something I just carry so low dose stuff and IUD which isn't systemic is safe. I was on the mirena for about five years. It worked well for three of those years. Anyway definitely work with your doctor - but depending on exactly what your genetics are that contra indicate it may or may not be an issue.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Sat Dec 19, 2015 10:58 pm UTC

Has anyone else ever pulled a muscle in your breast? Like holy fuck i think that is what happened and it hurts like mad.

Either that, or the fact my dog who is trained in nosework who keeps about this same breast (pointing in with nose, deep scent, wuffle to clear nose, take a new scent sample, etc) is smelling cancer and it all of a sudden hurts? She has been at this spot for a few months now and lately just rests her head on it constantly and she usually isnt a snuggler.

Maybe i should get that checked :/ i just dont want to sound like the crazy lady who comes in because of her dog and she is only in her 20's and so she must just be hypochondriac. :/
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Fractal_Tangent » Sat Dec 19, 2015 11:24 pm UTC

Go get yourself checked out. Breast exams usually don't take all that long and they instantly make you feel better if it's nothing (though I have no idea if this is a thing that will cost you money).
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Sun Dec 20, 2015 12:03 am UTC

If i can get in before the end of the year it would he free. With the surgery earlier this year i am maxed on out of pocket so anything more is 100% covered
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Fractal_Tangent » Sun Dec 20, 2015 12:30 am UTC

Then go get yourself checked out. My mum had the big C and I just can't deal with anyone being even a little bit unsure about things. Getting someone to just have a look just for your peace of mind is great. Esp. as you'll be covered (I always feel bad about potentially taking up valuable NHS resources).
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Moo » Mon Dec 21, 2015 12:20 pm UTC

Can I please get either my overdue period or a non-negative pregnancy test now please? The suspense is killing me.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Moo » Tue Dec 22, 2015 4:32 am UTC

Moo wrote:Can I please get either my overdue period or a non-negative pregnancy test now please? The suspense is killing me.
Nm
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby doogly » Tue Dec 22, 2015 12:21 pm UTC

Maybe your uterus checks the fora and knows when you are making frustrated comments about it?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existentialpanda » Sat Jan 23, 2016 12:38 am UTC

So, question for y'all - how frequently do you go for gyno exams/pap smears? I'm wondering when I should get the next one done and I've been hearing everything from every year to every three years so I'm not sure which number to listen to.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby PAstrychef » Sat Jan 23, 2016 1:03 am UTC

How old are you, how sexually active are you, is there a family history of gynecological issues? How much observation you need will depend on your answers.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existentialpanda » Sat Jan 23, 2016 2:38 am UTC

Ah, good point, I should have remembered that would be relevant. 24, never been sexually active and no desire to change that, no family history that I'm aware of, and my last one (~2 yrs ago) showed no issues except that - possibly TMI - there are apparently a couple of moles on my ladybits that my gyno recommended keeping an eye on, which I can't actually see myself even with a mirror. That last one is the reason I'm thinking I should have another exam done before too long, but I've been procrastinating because I've moved cities and would thus have to find a new gyno which is a bit unnerving. I was really comfortable with my old gyno but she's far far away now.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby PAstrychef » Sat Jan 23, 2016 3:43 am UTC

I would go once a year, as part of an annual physical exam. If anything changes in a major way you can add an extra appointment. Otherwise, discuss it with your new doctor. Planned Parenthood has some great doctors at its clinics, so you could start there.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Ashlah » Sat Jan 23, 2016 6:45 pm UTC

I go for an exam once a year, but only get a pap once every three years, at my doctor's recommendation.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby PictureSarah » Sat Jan 23, 2016 7:18 pm UTC

My last pap was April 2012, and this last October my PCP told me I didn't need to get one until 2017, and I was only too happy to go with that recommendation (FTR - I'm 29 and fairly sexually active, but have also been in a monogamous relationship since 2007 with no plans to change that).
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Wed Feb 10, 2016 4:35 am UTC

Can't get a hold of my gyno, and i have had a lump under my left arm (pit-area) for about 6 weeks now, it changes around in size a lot, sometimes hurts sometimes doesn't. Left breast is the one that gets sore sometimes, and the one my dog "alerts" to. It would be nice if a doctor could, you know, get back to me when I'm freaking out that something might be REALLY wrong. :(
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby poxic » Thu Feb 11, 2016 12:24 am UTC

This page has some possibly-soothing explanations for various types of benign breast lumps, in case you haven't seen it. Still get things checked out, of course.

Well wishes and hugs in general.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Thu Feb 11, 2016 1:49 pm UTC

poxic wrote:This page has some possibly-soothing explanations for various types of benign breast lumps, in case you haven't seen it. Still get things checked out, of course.

Well wishes and hugs in general.

According to that, about half the symptoms are cancerous and half are not. Woot.
But i have an appointment on wednesday now.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby addams » Sun Feb 14, 2016 8:22 am UTC

Sungura wrote:Has anyone else ever pulled a muscle in your breast? Like holy fuck i think that is what happened and it hurts like mad.

Either that, or the fact my dog who is trained in nosework who keeps about this same breast (pointing in with nose, deep scent, wuffle to clear nose, take a new scent sample, etc) is smelling cancer and it all of a sudden hurts? She has been at this spot for a few months now and lately just rests her head on it constantly and she usually isnt a snuggler.

Maybe i should get that checked :/ i just don't want to sound like the crazy lady who comes in because of her dog and she is only in her 20's and so she must just be hypochondriac. :/

Dogs do know stuff.
The idiots sometimes, just, know where it hurts, then check you there over and over until you get very sore.

I second the idea of being checked by a qualified M.D..

I think in 1964 we had computers.
I think in 1964 we were treating cancer.

Our tools and our abilities in computer science and
our tools and our abilities in cancer treatments have advanced along similar arcs.

What was impossible then is standard, today.
Of course, cancer is still fearful.

But, ...but... When it comes to breast cancer;
We really have come a long way, Baby.

Did you get it checked?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Wed Feb 17, 2016 11:01 pm UTC

Infected lymph node. Antibiotics should clear it right up. Whew.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby ObsessoMom » Thu Feb 18, 2016 7:14 pm UTC

Hooray!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Echo244 » Fri Feb 19, 2016 9:29 am UTC

Hooray for antibiotics, and it not being anything worse. ;-D
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby addams » Fri Feb 19, 2016 10:26 am UTC

Three cheers for the Node.
It was simply doing its job.
Life is, just, an exchange of electrons; It is up to us to give it meaning.

We are all in The Gutter.
Some of us see The Gutter.
Some of us see The Stars.
by mr. Oscar Wilde.

Those that want to Know; Know.
Those that do not Know; Don't tell them.
They do terrible things to people that Tell Them.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Moo » Mon Feb 22, 2016 8:41 am UTC

Not-a-serious-thing-happy-dance!
Proverbs 9:7-8 wrote:Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. So don't bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you.


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