[SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby suffer-cait » Sat Mar 17, 2012 12:22 am UTC

i lived with girls who knew what they were doing and would ask their advice constantly until i caught on.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Sat Mar 17, 2012 12:44 am UTC

I like the looking up what styles you like, and then if you have a friend or two who is good at fashion get help from them. Not all styles look good on every body type. Figuring out what type of cuts/styles look good on your body is the trick really.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby bluebambue » Sat Mar 17, 2012 1:46 am UTC

I can't what will look good on you over the internet, but I can give a run down of some of the basic options for business casual. I will focus on the slightly more formal end of what that will cover. This is mostly a "here are lots of pictures of things I think work in a business environment and how formal they tend to come off" rather than a how to dress fashionably or dress for any other place. This should also help introduce some vocabulary for different cuts of items.

Note: I will not discuss dresses. They can be done well in a work environment, but it is harder to know how to pull it off.

Bottoms:
Slacks: Should generally be more neutral colors like black, grey, and brown. Khaki and white also work, but I don't like khaki personally and white is more of a statement.
Slim:
Spoiler:
Image

Straight:
Spoiler:
Image
Image

Wide:
Spoiler:
Image
This is not a complete list. I personally look good in wide leg pants as I have larger thighs.

Skirts:
More formal skirts tend to come in two main cuts, they usually come in the same nuetral colors as slacks. However, it is much more acceptable to wear brighter colored skirts than slacks.
Pencil (more form fitting):
Spoiler:
Image

A-line (makes a triangle shape):
Spoiler:
Image

Here is a slight variation (a bit less formal) of an a-lin
Spoiler:
Image
Generally A-lines look better on people with hips and/or big calves, pencil skirts on straighter shapes

The flouncy skirts are more casual, but would be acceptable at many modern workplaces
Spoiler:
Image
Image
Skirts I have seen in my workplace have almost always been around knee length. The shorter skirts I have only seen at my more casual workplace and always with dark tights. I've seen longer skirts both places, but they are less common.

Shirts/Blouses:
There is much more variation in choices here. Almost any pattern/color combination will work. Generally the more neutral and less pattern on the fabric, the more formal it will be.
Button down shirts:
Basic white (have one of these)
Spoiler:
Image
Formal, but with stripes
Spoiler:
Image
Short sleved, and more casual.
Spoiler:
Image
With ruffles, it has a bit of a vintage feel to it:
Spoiler:
Image
With ruffles, younger and more casual
Spoiler:
Image

With a tie at the neck
Spoiler:
Image

Casual tie at the neck
Spoiler:
Image

Generally, things with volume on the front (ruffles, ties) look good on people with less cleavage

Not button-down: Generally more casual, but in fabrics like silk or satin are considered more formal
More formal not-button downs
Spoiler:
Image

In satin, so you know is fancy (satin can also easily be interpreted as being more evening wear, so be sure to use more nuetral other clothes with it):
Spoiler:
Image

Less formal:
A knit fabric with ruffles on the front:
Spoiler:
Image
A knit fabric (so casual) but has embellishment at the top to look like a button down (so seems more formal)
Spoiler:
Image

Knit fabric, but reminicent of button downs:
Spoiler:
Image

Like a t-shirt but with buttons down the front, so is OK in more casual places
Spoiler:
Image
This is a cowl neck. It also adds volume, but beware of being too low cut.
Spoiler:
Image
This is a very boxy shape, I don't think it looks good on most people:
Spoiler:
Image

This has an empire waist (which means it has a band/elastic right below the boobs). This is generally recommended for people with larger boobs.
Spoiler:
Image

Guidelines for pairing things:
Don't have two things that have a print.
If you have two neutrals, you may want to have the blouse have some interest from the cut (like ruffles, or big kimono sleeves)
Don't add volume to both your top and bottom half (wide pants and a boxy shirt)

edit: formatting and slightly modified intro
Last edited by bluebambue on Sat Mar 17, 2012 2:09 am UTC, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby bluebambue » Sat Mar 17, 2012 1:58 am UTC

Things that aren't bottoms and tops.

Coats:
One black coat like this:
Spoiler:
Image
Or pea coat:
Spoiler:
Image
This may not be necessary, as you won't be wearing this indoors much.

Blazers:
Start off with one or two in the nuetral colors.
More formal, similar to a suit top, this is likely more formal than necessary for anything but an interview (and even there you can probably get away with not having one):
Spoiler:
Image
Less formal:
Spoiler:
Image
Image

A more casual and comfortable alternate to blazers are cardigans. These are sweaters with buttons. You see these with bright colors more often than you do blazers.
Spoiler:
Image
Image
Image

Shoes:
I would recommend against wearing heels unless you already know how to walk in them. Ballet flats are a good alternate.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby bluebambue » Sat Mar 17, 2012 2:05 am UTC

The "ideal" shape for a woman is an hourglass. This means that the shoulders and hips are the same width and there is a defined waist. Most times, flattering clothes are clothes that make too wide hips or shoulders look narrow to balance the other one and make it look like there is a defined waist.

There are lots of guides about this on the internet. This one seems decent from a quick read through
http://www.style-makeover-hq.com/body-shape.html

Google for more guides and ask if you have questions about the vocabulary.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Brace » Sat Mar 17, 2012 2:07 am UTC

I almost certainly will, but this should be pretty helpful. Thanks :D
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Sat Mar 17, 2012 3:26 am UTC

Brace:
I am absolutely a fan of the picture with the dark blue skull/island tee and the jeans with a belt. You have a really fantastic smile! It lights up your face. :)

You look like you have my sort of skin tone -- paleish with freckles and easy sunburns. You look great in blues! I'd try greens, blacks, and darker reds but stay away from yellows and purples. You have a long, slender neck so you look fine in higher neckline tee-shirts. I'd try t-shirts that are "babydoll tee" cut. This means they nip in a bit in the middle and show off your small waist. It also helps to create an hourglass look so that the shirt doesn't make you look boxy.

Hats are fun but inside they can be annoying to keep on. Scarves and headbands of sorts are fun to go searching for at thrift shops -- many have hangers full of various scarves that can be tied up in a zillion ways. That tan hat is pretty cute though!

Pants from the girls' sections of stores are the most annoying thing ever. Pants shopping is a recurring rant here! :roll: I like jeans from thrift stores (I just love thrift, can you tell?) because they're worn in a little and not so stiff and new and stuff. I have small waist/small hips too and I like jeans that are tighter on the hips and thighs but have a small flare at the bottom. Straight leg just looks boxy to me, and I just can't stand the feeling of skinny jeans. Some people say skinny jeans look good on small hips and emphasize them, but I just hate the ankle-constriction feeling.

For clubby-wear I like tank tops with something on top. Tank tops are pretty easy, Gap has some really cute cotton ones of a zillion varieties. I've found a couple cute blazers that make me feel covered-up but nip in at the waist in a sexy waist-defining way, and the way blazers are often cut (waist in, out towards hips) makes me look like I've got hippiness under it. Dark jeans look more dressy than faded jeans, I suggest always having a pair of dark, more fitted jeans.

In other news, I LOVED my honeymoon. Lurve lurve lurve. We went to Big Bend (loong drive) and backpacked out into the desert and mountains and camped under the stars. Wonderful!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Hofstadter'sLaw » Sat Mar 17, 2012 4:26 am UTC

@Brace:
My favorite photo is the one with the island tee too. Simple and cute! I guess it’s hard to go wrong with jeans and a t-shirt, right? I also like all the hats, especially the fisher-type one.

I know nothing about fashion either, except I’ve been told you’re usually not supposed to mix totally different patterns together. (I wore camo pants with a striped shirt one day, and my sister was like Oh. My. Gawd. YOU WENT TO SCHOOL LIKE THAT?!) So, in your first picture, the complicated patterns of the collar of the red shirt clashes a bit with the striped blue shirt underneath.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Jessica » Sat Mar 17, 2012 4:54 am UTC

I was going to third saying how good you looked with that shirt.

Watching something like what not to wear over and over again can help. Or similar youtube videos.

Or, find some who's style you like and try and emulate it.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby PAstrychef » Sat Mar 17, 2012 2:50 pm UTC

Some department stores have personal shopper services available, for free. You go to the women's clothes department and ask. The person will bring a bunch of clothes for you to try, and advise which work for you. Try calling a local Macy's or Lord and Taylor or that sort of store and asking about the service. Even if you have to make an appointment and pay, getting this info from a professional third party will make your business life much easier. You won't be stressing out about your clothes.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby lucrezaborgia » Mon Mar 19, 2012 2:56 am UTC

Hofstadter'sLaw wrote:Did not know roller deodorant existed. Try rubbing alcohol if that doesn't work.

bluebambue wrote:It might just be worth $4 2 get a new roll of deodorant.

Wasteful though if it's still pretty full. =/


Mitchum roll-on unscented is pretty awesome for hard to kill body funk. I managed to get the funk off by washing vigorously with my anti-bac special soap and a hand towel. I just bought it and was very reluctant to toss it out. Def don't put on clothing until it's dry tho!

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Aaeriele » Mon Mar 19, 2012 4:54 pm UTC

bluebambue wrote:Coats:
One black coat like this:
Spoiler:
Image
Or pea coat:
Spoiler:
Image
This may not be necessary, as you won't be wearing this indoors much.


I can second this. Tan also works well with a lot of things, too. (Black is slightly more versatile, but tan is pretty darn workable.)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby meridian » Mon Mar 19, 2012 6:29 pm UTC

Raar.
Spoiler:
I'm fucking hormonal. What the hell is going on? It's like my left ovary is entirely pissed off at the world and needs to push past whatever is going on with birth control in my uterus and plop out an egg. My side is tender as hell and I'm incredibly emotionally intense. Ring comes out on Saturday. Getting ready to discuss getting an IUD instead of a new ring (now that I have health insurance). Why is my body being a pain in the ass (side)?
Raar.
Spoiler:
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby sophyturtle » Mon Mar 19, 2012 11:01 pm UTC

I want to get to a place where I am neither conforming nor rebelling but simply being.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Mon Mar 19, 2012 11:04 pm UTC

Oh my gosh that is soo cute.

Snatchel... *snerk*
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby studyinserendipity » Thu Mar 22, 2012 9:39 pm UTC

I finally ordered some GladRags & seasponge tampons. And they came in the mail today! I'm a bit nervous about the learning curve going from completely disposable to reusable items, but I'm also a bit excited. Too bad I'll have to wait another 30 days or so to use them...
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby sophyturtle » Thu Mar 22, 2012 9:58 pm UTC

Glad rags and sponges are pretty easy to use. The one thing that always gets me with the sponge (okay, two things, whatever) is 1)sneezing. the squeezing of internal muscles can be impressive for emptying the sponge (when I am in a place I cannot wash my hands I wring it out with my lady bits themselves. 2) sometimes there is a little air in them when you put them in. when said air comes out it feels funny.
I want to get to a place where I am neither conforming nor rebelling but simply being.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Thu Mar 22, 2012 11:41 pm UTC

Anyone here havebexperience with the mirna and it stsrting to allow bleeding midcycle? Lately I can't seem to catch a break longer than a week. I do get health insurance starting in 10 days think its worth getting an apointment? Its getting really annoying as its too much for just a lightpad and ignoring. Although I have been really stressed last few weeks parhaps that affects it somehow? Sometimes in the past stress would induce periods for me. First time with that problem on the mirena. I've had it almost 2 years now.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existential_squirrrel » Fri Mar 23, 2012 1:44 am UTC

hi sharkweek.

what a nice surprise to see you... NOT!
you suck.

dear immune system-

reboot yourself please.
I have a conference in 6 days, and I want to be healthy

No love-
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Amie » Fri Mar 23, 2012 7:49 am UTC

RARRGGHH. Rant spoilered for possible grossness.

Spoiler:
Fucking sharkweek murphy's law. Accidentally wear a good underwear and wooo stain on it. Wear the old, torn ones and noooo staining whatsoever. Ever. Single. Time.

Maybe it's just me :|
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby meridian » Fri Mar 23, 2012 12:16 pm UTC

Amie wrote:RARRGGHH. Rant spoilered for possible grossness.

Spoiler:
Fucking sharkweek murphy's law. Accidentally wear a good underwear and wooo stain on it. Wear the old, torn ones and noooo staining whatsoever. Ever. Single. Time.

Maybe it's just me :|

Nope. It's definitely not just you.
Spoiler:
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Angua » Fri Mar 23, 2012 12:18 pm UTC

I think they know when the most inconvenient time to come is. It's unerring.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby existential_squirrrel » Sun Mar 25, 2012 7:52 pm UTC

I am finally not sick anymore :D , although I have totally lost my ability to hit the upper range of my singing voice :(

and shark week is making me an absolute bitchy person to be around. I swear I'm not normally this bitchy, even on shark week.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby cephalopod9 » Tue Mar 27, 2012 1:22 am UTC

semicharmed wrote:Do you have decent health insurance/access to a low-cost repro. health clinic? Because re: spoiler 2; that doesn't sound good. In fact, it sounds like a 'get thee to a doctor/np and get your script adjusted' kind of situation. There's a staggering variety in hormone formulations for BC pills; and for some people it takes a while to get right.
Yes, and I did. I went back to the doctor today, but I don't know that it accomplished anything because mostly I just got frustrated and cried for no reason*, then scheduled another ultra-sound.
I'm not good at Talking To A Doctor, and didn't know how to effectively throw a tantrum about how really painful cramps are a problem because they are really painful. Then the reason for the ultrasoud test got put down as "Dysfunctional Uterine Bleeding" so I'm wondering if I really communicated anything at all. bleh.
I don't like these kinds of conversations. When the nurse was settin' stuff up before I saw the doctor, I tried to explain things, and answer questions. She asked if I "saw improvement while on Apri". So I told her my periods got more regular, but hurt really bad and were still heavy. "So, would you say about %20 improvement?" and what does that even mean? I think she put down the reason for my visit as heavy periods.
sophyturtle wrote:The one thing that always gets me with the sponge (okay, two things, whatever) is 1)sneezing. the squeezing of internal muscles can be impressive for emptying the sponge (when I am in a place I cannot wash my hands I wring it out with my lady bits themselves. 2) sometimes there is a little air in them when you put them in. when said air comes out it feels funny.

I think menstrual cups are kind of similar, air gets displaced and leaks out. Taking it out and putting it in can also make a lot of fart noises.

*actually the reasons included not eating breakfast after staying up all night with indigestion (related to pain meds I took for menstrual cramps)
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Kithplana » Tue Mar 27, 2012 2:09 am UTC

TMI:
Spoiler:
Dear uterus:

I don't think I've done anything horrible to you recently. Even if I did, waking up at 1:30 AM to the worst cramps I've had in years, along with side effects such as vomiting, was totally not called for. (You can't blame it on the tofu, either.)

Yours truly,
Your Host Body

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Hofstadter'sLaw » Tue Mar 27, 2012 2:37 am UTC

cephalopod9 wrote:Yes, and I did. I went back to the doctor today, but I don't know that it accomplished anything because mostly I just got frustrated and cried for no reason*, then scheduled another ultra-sound.
I'm not good at Talking To A Doctor, and didn't know how to effectively throw a tantrum about how really painful cramps are a problem because they are really painful. Then the reason for the ultrasoud test got put down as "Dysfunctional Uterine Bleeding" so I'm wondering if I really communicated anything at all. bleh.
I don't like these kinds of conversations. When the nurse was settin' stuff up before I saw the doctor, I tried to explain things, and answer questions. She asked if I "saw improvement while on Apri". So I told her my periods got more regular, but hurt really bad and were still heavy. "So, would you say about %20 improvement?" and what does that even mean? I think she put down the reason for my visit as heavy periods.


Sorry you’re having such horrible periods. Have you tried using a heating pad for cramps? I bought one for like $13 on Amazon, and it does help a bit. I also got an outlet timer for the heating pad and set it to turn off after an hour or two after I go to bed (when I’m hopefully asleep).

Since you’re not good at talking to doctors, maybe you could write/type all your complaints and symptoms out, then hand them to the doc to read? Make sure you’re being as specific as possible if you're not already since things like “really heavy period” and “really painful cramps” are subjective. (Like instead of “heavy” say “I filled four heavy flow pads each day for a week,” or instead of “painful cramps” say “I took [whatever pain-reliever] but was still in so much pain that I couldn’t do much more than lay in the fetal position all day.”)

I don’t understand the 20% improvement thing either. Could it be like how doctors might ask you to rate your pain on a scale of one to ten, then they ask you again later to see if your number got higher or lower (the specific numbers themselves don’t matter).

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby cephalopod9 » Wed Mar 28, 2012 7:36 am UTC

I like to put my laptop on my tummy sometimes. Being in the desert, we don't have as many appliances for creating heat.
Hofstadter'sLaw wrote:Since you’re not good at talking to doctors, maybe you could write/type all your complaints and symptoms out, then hand them to the doc to read? Make sure you’re being as specific as possible if you're not already since things like “really heavy period” and “really painful cramps” are subjective. (Like instead of “heavy” say “I filled four heavy flow pads each day for a week,” or instead of “painful cramps” say “I took [whatever pain-reliever] but was still in so much pain that I couldn’t do much more than lay in the fetal position all day.”)
This is reasonable, and I did prepare somewhat before hand*. I had all kinds of details on my symptoms (I've been keeping track on an iPod app), but I didn't feel like there was ever a question of "to what extent?" or much interest at all in how I was handling things. I know I should have thrown more of a fit, but the problem is I expect the doctor to have an idea of what's relevant, and ask me if she's not sure what I mean. I really don't like being put on the defensive for "no really, I'm here because there's an actual problem I don't know how to deal with", and it was just not the response I wanted to "the medication you put me one is causing really painful** side effects".
So, what I think is what should happen is I should make an appointment with an actual Ob/Gyn*** (I was not %100 clear that this was a regular kind of doctor I had an appointment with) maybe with more options than "Is it fibroids? Is it PCOS?... Why are you here?"

I am still feeling pretty moody.

*I'm terrible at speaking up (when a waitress mishears my order, I stop and think if I would rather have what she thought I said instead), but I'm also worse at sharing things I have written (I have at least 3 notebooks I would eat before letting another person look at them). Is there a type of doctor one can communicate with through text messages/IM?
**subjectivity and that, but as applied to internal organs, the lowest level of discomfort I can imagine "really painful" being applied to still seems significant.
***is it gin, or gyne?
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Angua » Wed Mar 28, 2012 8:37 am UTC

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby semicharmed » Wed Mar 28, 2012 2:05 pm UTC

cephalopod9 wrote:So, what I think is what should happen is I should make an appointment with an actual Ob/Gyn*** (I was not %100 clear that this was a regular kind of doctor I had an appointment with) maybe with more options than "Is it fibroids? Is it PCOS?... Why are you here?"


If I were you, I'd make an appointment with a gyno; regular doctors/regular practices SHOULD (and usually do) have a handle on the basics for BC stuff but they don't always. And it sounds like whoever you saw doesn't.

Maybe you can ask around for recommendations, if you're comfortable doing so? My gyno at home is also my mom's, so she was the default option for my first exam. My mom offered to let me shop around, but she did her own shopping before settling on the one we see, and my mom's a nurse and so pretty picky. And it worked, I love her even if I haven't seen her in two years - geographically inconvenient. But especially when you're having problems, it's important to have a gyno that you like and trust to listen to you.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Fri Mar 30, 2012 2:59 am UTC

spoiled for off current topic
Spoiler:
So for those of you who are married...I have a question! I am photographing my first wedding soon for some good friends of mine. I have been studying up on wedding photography specifics - and even more with outdoor weddings as that is what it will be - because I do more landscape/cave/animal stuff and dont have much human portrait experience. I am curious as to what you liked about your photographer, and what types of photos you liked best, to get a feel from a different perspective on what would be most appreciated!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby mochafairy » Fri Mar 30, 2012 3:59 am UTC

Sungura-

Spoiler:
I like more quirky photos, so I like my photographers. They took the traditional photos, but they also took some more artsy photos--our rings in different places, the flower girl who was adorable, friends and family being candid.

I liked that they asked us what photos were important to us (like the big kiss, exchange of rings, the first dance, etc.) and that they tried to get to know us a bit before hand. They also did a photobooth, which I loved, and they had props to go with it (like a picture frame, hats, mustaches, glasses, and they had a molecule set for us to play with).
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Fri Mar 30, 2012 5:56 am UTC

mochafairy wrote:Sungura-

Spoiler:
I like more quirky photos, so I like my photographers. They took the traditional photos, but they also took some more artsy photos--our rings in different places, the flower girl who was adorable, friends and family being candid.

I liked that they asked us what photos were important to us (like the big kiss, exchange of rings, the first dance, etc.) and that they tried to get to know us a bit before hand. They also did a photobooth, which I loved, and they had props to go with it (like a picture frame, hats, mustaches, glasses, and they had a molecule set for us to play with).


Spoiler:
Thanks. I do luck out that they are friends of mine (cavers) and I know the grounds the wedding is being held at (I've been there and caved there before haha, with one of them actually!) I have suggested some different shots - wearing helmets, I know how to pack in the dress and tux safely and know places in the cave they could change into them for an in-cave shoot, etc, and they were not interested. I did try to find out what group photos they wanted - I'm not going to know anywhere near everyone there although we have similar circle of friends, and was told "Oh everyone is our family* just take as many photos as you can!" basically, so I've gotten no hints from them. And like I said my cool cave-quirky ideas (they are pretty famous cavers in this area) they were not interested, so I've kinda been at a loss for anything "fun" and "quirky" as they seem not interested...which is strange because they are both fun and quirky people! :?

I guess overall I'll go for the candid shots and be sure to get the highlights/standards (kiss, exchange, dance, ring photos, bride and groom parties) but other than that I'll be winging it.

*cavers are kinda one big family it's one of those things you're a caver? cool! welcome to visit and come caving anytime! sorts of groups and especially the groom is just one of those people everyone knows and loves and hangs out at his place, so this view of things makes sense but it makes figureing out what group shots are important to them difficult!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby cephalopod9 » Sun Apr 01, 2012 4:10 am UTC

Wedding photography is a much better topic for discussion than my health complaints.

Also, all I really have left to say is that I made an appointment at women's health center for May 2nd.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Sungura » Mon Apr 02, 2012 3:21 am UTC

cephalopod9 wrote:Wedding photography is a much better topic for discussion than my health complaints.

Also, all I really have left to say is that I made an appointment at women's health center for May 2nd.

Aww not at all, I spoilered it because I didn't want to take away from any ideas or help people might have for you, those things are important! I'm glad you are getting help =) I prefer women specific places because I dont like having men around for things like that and as such enjoy Planned Parenthood because it's all female employees. Plus I find women health centers in general seem to be better at listening and being willing to try things that you want to try rather than following some "to-try" standardized list or whatever it seems like some doctors do.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby sophyturtle » Mon Apr 02, 2012 1:11 pm UTC

I was on the bus wearing a loose shirt with short sleeves and a low cut neck line. This middle aged guy was staring at me for like, 30 seconds straight and showed no sign of stopping. I was having difficulty making eye contact to stare him down (come on, it's not like I even have cleavage) so I was all 'fuck him, I am going about my day'.
Then I put my hair up and he turned away without looking at me again. When I had my hands above my head you could see my hairy armpits.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Cathy » Mon Apr 02, 2012 3:23 pm UTC

YAY for not shaving! My lover likes my hair so I'm feeling more confident than ever about not shaving. High five!
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Plasmic-Turtle » Wed Apr 04, 2012 9:31 am UTC

Aw gosh ceph, I've only just read your post as been pretty busy lately. May 2nd seems a hell of a long way away for you?! But yay for it being a women's health centre. Though I guess period-wise it's not too many more. Do your best to be better at speaking up to get your needs met at this appointment - I think speaking up is something many people have difficulty with (myself included), but it's important! And I think Hofstadters suggestions about giving quantitative, specific information (however gruesome!) are good.

Snug - my sister got married yesterday, yay!:
Spoiler:
I'd recommend having LOTS of memory available on your camera, the photographer we used went through at least 2, maybe 3, of her data cards, and I imagine that she had pretty decently-sized memory cards available. People are a bit more difficult than landscapes, they blink and pull bad fake smiles etc. And my niece was constantly fidgeting and playing with gravel...

It's kind of ...unhelpful, really... of your friends not to give you a bit more advice on what they'd like! But perhaps they're not so sure themselves, or are stressing about other arrangements currently. My sis and bro-in-law decided on no photographer for the ceremony itself (to save costs - we're relying on there being a few nice ones taken by guests), so all the professional photography was done afterward, at various 'pretty' locations in the park where the wedding was held, and later some photos at the beach. As sis is currently clearly pregnant, they did a joke photo involving our father aiming a shotgun at the groom, who was pretending to run away. Besides this, most professional pics were semi-formal, or 'natural'.

The first lot of professional photos done (there were the photographers suggestion) focused on bride&groom plus immediate family, in various groupings, in front of a pretty backdrop of greenery in the park: e.g. B&G + their parents, B&G + parents and siblings, B&G + bride's parents and siblings, B&G + groom's parents and siblings, a 'man' shot of groom with his bro and dad, one of bride with her bro and sis, etc. Things were simplified by there being a lack of partners and children amongst the siblings (my partner was the only 'sibling' partner present, and we included him in a photo or two but also had some without), and by the only bridesmaid and groomsman being groom's bro and bride's sis! After these family group ones, B&G (and their daughter) went off for photos at other park locations, with bridesmaid and groomsman tagging along to be included every now and then! The photographer tried to get a mixture, e.g.:
- bride & groom walking toward camera (on scenic bridge, along pretty path in park, along beach)
- B&G (and one including flower girl and bestman & bridesmaid) walking away from camera
- silhouettes in front of sunset
- kissing poses
- leaning casually against things poses (bridges, the wedding car, cliffs at beach)
- standing smiley poses
- photos of us wedding party and B&G just looking natural, like they're talking to each other, etc
- when my niece (the flower-girl) really couldn't behave for any more photos, the photographer incorporated her into a few extra photos by either pointing the camera in a direction where she could image B&G with niece doing her own thing in the background, or, for example, when niece decided she was going to muck about by walking across the shallow stream at the beach... we got a photo of the rest of us four following her across - so just a random stream-crossing photo with everyone in gorgeous wedding attire!

There were quite a few people hanging out at the beach in their togs and the like, but the photographer was great at positioning us either slightly to the side or forward or back in such a way that from whichever angle she was shooting, one of us in the foreground would completely hide the people in the background.

For guests in general before and after the ceremony itself, if they've not given you any guidance at all, I'd suggest just getting as many as possible, with a mixture of natural vs grouping together pictures? We have some pics of people mingling in their small groups before sitting down (being an outdoors wedding made this possible!) and they're quite nice.

Also, another thing my sister has said she's really appreciated from our non-professional photos, is where I've photographed close-ups of the details - e.g. the pretty teacups at the reception afternoon tea, the favours to the guests at the tables (they provided each guest with a packet of native seeds with a gorgeous picture of the flowers and quote on the front of each packet)... stuff like that.

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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby Amie » Wed Apr 04, 2012 10:18 am UTC

I have unshaved arms right now and I am wearing a sleeveless top. Got stared at a lot by some people on the bus. I almost felt bad for the poor idiots.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby PictureSarah » Wed Apr 04, 2012 3:08 pm UTC

I'm kind of astounded by the shock and revulsion that the general public seems to associate with body hair on women. Women...grow hair. It's, uh, not that big of a deal. I only shave my legs and armpits when I feel like it, so they're pretty hairy a good portion of the time. A (male) friend, who is extremely liberal, who is a feminist, and who I consider to be pretty progressive, was shocked and grossed out when I mentioned that I had participated in "No-shave-November." I was shocked and grossed out by his reaction. My husband's opinion on body hair is "Uh. Maybe if it grows there, it's supposed to be there? I don't like stubble, but they're your legs." I didn't think it was that rare, but I guess it is.
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Re: [SAFESPACE] Woman Thread - All Things Women. Period.

Postby pseudoidiot » Wed Apr 04, 2012 3:15 pm UTC

PictureSarah wrote:My husband's opinion on body hair is "Uh. Maybe if it grows there, it's supposed to be there? I don't like stubble, but they're your legs." I didn't think it was that rare, but I guess it is.
That's pretty much my reaction as well. I don't shave anything regularly except my face, so it has always seemed odd to consider being shaved to be the norm for anyone else.
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